Time Lost
Ch. 8: I Broke My Brain
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to MLP or any of its related properties. All other characters are mine.
The morning air was crisp and sharp when entering the lungs. The sun was barely above the far off mountains, their shadow cast over the multitude of trees in Sweet Apple Acres. The shifting fog lightly curled around the gnarled roots.
Big Mac yawned as he made his way out of the home, mentally reviewing his chores this early Sunday morning. Let’s see: gotta feed the pigs, move hay to the cow pen and mend the fence. Big Mac’s ears swiveled slightly, the morning air had an unusual sound to it.
“Abra cadabra… No.”
“Bibbity bobbity boo… No.”
“Hocus pocus… No.”
“Klaatu barada nikto… No.”
“Klaatu barada Ne-c<cough><couch>… Still no.”
The large workhorse made his way towards the barn, quite surprised that someone was out at this time on a Saturday.
“Open sesame… No.”
“Sim sim sala bim…No.”
“By the power of Greyskull,” Big Mac peered around the corner of the worn red barn, finding a very interesting sight. Sitting on the ground was Luke Skywalker wearing a rather annoyed expression on his face while holding up his right claw as if to brandish a blade. In front of Luke was a rather large book propped open with a few rocks.
The ‘Science of Magic’ was giving Luke quiet the trouble. Luke squinted at the text with his good eye, “It says that a large amount of focus is required to affect physical objects and magic is to be gathered in the unicorn’s horns. But if everything has magic, I should be able to access some kind of magic. Let’s see… Pegasi can fly and manipulate the weather and Earth Ponies are strong and have a connection with the earth. But no gryphon or hippogriff, speciest motherfu-“ Luke continued to grumbled, sliding out a piece of parchment from the page covered in clumsy writing.
‘Let’s approach this scientifically. First I need to take a deep breath. Second, focus on a point like the book says. Since I don’t have a horn, I’ll use a focus word to put said attention and hopefully magic into. Eventually I’ll either do something with a high level of focus, do something with a high emotion or do nothing. In which case I have no magic and that sucks big donkey di-’
“Watcha doing?”
“Jesus!” Luke spun around, looking up to see Big Mac’s raised eyebrow. “Where did you come from?”
“The house.”
“Oh… that makes sense,” Luke thought out loud, rubbing his brow with his long fingers. “I was just trying to do magic or something.”
Big Mac looked to the book and parchment filled with Luke’s notes on key phrases or observations. “From what Ah know of gryphons, their magic acts like a Pegasus. They can fly and manipulate the weather.”
“Oh poo,” Luke muttered under his breath, really wanting to move things with his mind. That’d be so cool.
Big Mac watched Luke sigh, his green eyes catching sight of slight red markings on his cheek. If Big Mac had to take a guess, he would saw Luke’s claws might have caused the damage. But he remained passive. If Luke did want to talk, he would be there for the little guy.
Luke returned to his paper. He would not be deterred from his studies on the sole fact that he was bored. REALLY bored. Luke held up another imaginary sword, “Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats HO!”
Big Mac snickered as he moved away. In his heart he was glad that Luke had decided not to try flying like he had when he was a colt. But back then, Big Mac had a cape. Luke however took a less insane approach. At least one of the kids has some survival instinct. Not like Cutie Mark Crusaders Castle Siege Experts. Where they got the catapult is beyond me.
“Presto Chango! Nope… Something Something Something! Nope… Azarath Metriiiiii- I think I spelled that one wrong and I can’t remember how to say it. Darn. Spirit Gun!”
Big Mac began moving the layers of hay; the large bundles of dry grass were easily moved on his wide shoulders. It was a necessary part to ensure the older bales were kept towards the left side of the barn, allowing room for new batches to occupy the right.
All the while, Big Mac’s large ears could still hear Luke’s voice, “Mecca lecca hi mecca hiney ho… Still nothing, but on a serious note what even is that. From a thing to not a thing, I feel like that’s not a thing.”
Big Mac prepared a large pale of slop as he heard another strange phrase, “Amazing Headband of Justice in Place, Amazing Armor of Justice Protect Me!” The large workhorse strolled out with the pale in his mouth. That’s got to be unsanitary, Luke thought, making a disgusted gagging sound at the sight.
Luke scratched out a majority of the phrases that had proved ineffective, listening to the pigs happily cheering at the delivery of food. A severe case of bacon-itis hit Luke’s taste buds, No you don’t they are sentient creatures. Luke’s stomach and watering beak decided to argue the point with him. No! Pigs are friends not food… But just look at those buggers, they look so good. I just wanna fry them up with some grease.
“Have anything planned for today?” Big Mac asked, turning to see Luke turning back to his paper and not on the idea of food.
“Nope,” Luke shook his head.
“Nervous about school?” Big Mac continued, trying to keep up the conversation and air of friendliness.
“Not really,” Luke shrugged, “School’s not that difficult. Plus, I’ll be able to do more stuff. No offense, it’s kinda boring being sick on the farm.”
“Ah understand. Last year Ah cracked a few ribs and couldn’t work during Applebuck season,” Big Mac nodded sagely.
“What’s Applebuck season?” Luke tried not think very dirty thoughts. Why did they have to use buck? I can do so many horrible things with it… So many dirty, dirty things.
“That’s the major apple harvest for the summer just before fall hits,” Big Mac motioned towards the trees. “Those apples provide us the amount of bits we need to survive the winter months.”
“Oh,” Luke nodded in understanding. “That’s rough.”
“It’s a hard job, but we get it done every year,” Big Mac focused on the book and paper Luke was focusing on. “Any more words ya wanna try before breakfast?”
“One more,” Luke turned his attention back to his work. “How about this, Hastur! Hastur! Hastur!”
What happened next, no one expected or could properly described the phenomenon properly with words.
The morning sky turned the deep shade of blood with a sickening boom. Birds flocked away with terrifying screeches along with the forest animals. The sky itself was torn asunder, revealing the utter blackness of the universe. No light or sound could penetrate such an empty space. Luke and Big Mac watched with wide eyed shock and horror at the bloody morning.
From the empty depths of perdition, something flew towards the earth. Luke could not properly process what was making its way towards him. It could only be described as something from Carcosa, where black stars hang in the heavens; where the shadows of men's thoughts lengthen in the afternoon, when the twin suns sink into the Lake of Hali.
Luke’s beak was held wide open along with Big Mac’s. The vision before them weighed heavy on their hearts, feeling as if some invisible hand was wrapping around their chests. It was a tall, anthropomorphic being of unknown origins hidden behind a yellow silken robe and stark white mask. Behind the fabric and eyes, a strange shifting structure of what could only be described as gelatinous or tentacles.
Big Mac and Luke Skywalker stood before such an eldritch abomination in utter silence. That is until the creature spoke with the voice beyond the grave, each world felt through flesh and bone. “Yo.”
Luke’s mind went into auto-pilot while the rest of his brain was stuck somewhere between Neutral and First Gear. “Hey, what’s up dog?”
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Hastur looked down towards the small creature whose large amber eye was held in captivation at his appearance, “Why aren’t you just the cutest little thing?”
Luke blinked quietly, honestly surprised at the singular fact that the Yellow King was not unleashing untold horrors and madness at his sudden appearance. “Not much, trying to do magic.”
“Really?” Hastur’s voiced sounded surprised at the thought. “May I see your work?”
“Sure,” Luke shrugged, handing over the book and loose parchment. A single hand composed of several tentacles of varying colors.
From the tall palace, a singular being felt the sudden rush of cold dread. Discord froze, caught with a paintbrush in his lion’s claw and halfway through painting a rather large portrait of a clown. It was a rather creepy clown that would be used to startle Celestia when she walked into the throne room. It was better than the whoopee-cushion.
Discord rushed to the nearest window, his breath caught in his lungs. With a snap of his fingers, a pair of oversized binoculars appeared before his eyes. After several seconds of fiddling, Discord’s eyes melted from their sockets in the form of a milky substance.
He knew who that was. And the cold fear in his heart was warranted by what the entity entitled. What was worse was who was standing in front of the entity, little Luke Skywalker. How? Why? The questions where flying through Discord’s skull at high speeds, causing a severe case of whiplash.
Discord reached into the pockets on his thighs, pulling out a set of eyeballs that he screwed into his empty eye sockets.
With his vision restored, Discord returned towards the far distant scene.
Luke just stood there dumbfounded, watching Hastur musing himself with the written words in the book. “Well this book is certainly interesting, but very lacking,” Hastur finally stated, turning his shifting eyes from the brown pages and back to Luke. “I find these ideas very limiting, but-“ Hastur halted his speech, turning from Luke towards a far off mountain. A certain draconesque felt his sphincter tighten in fear. Hastur knew he was there and even though Discord could be considered one of the Eldritch Gods from old, he certainly did not want to face another. The resulting destruction would be unimaginable and countless would die in the blaze of madness and power.
“Before I continue, what might your names be?” Hastur finally asked, turning back to the hippogriff before him.
“I’m Luke Skywalker,” Luke answered automatically, trying to figure out what in the name of the nine circles of hell was going on. Maybe I’ve finally gone mad and all this is a dream or delusion? It wouldn’t be the worst dream I’ve had recently. Or the Yellow King is so far beyond my comprehension that I have a pre-disposed notion of him? “And this is Big Mac,” Luke turned towards the red workhorse.
Big Mac continued to stare at the Yellow King, his mouth working like a goldfish out of water with no sound coming out. Luke elbowed Big Mac’s leg, “Say hi Big Mac, don’t be rude to our guest.”
The sudden physical contact startled Big Mac out of his revelries with an uncertain, “Howdy.”
Hasture nodded in greeting, “A pleasure to meet you both. Now tell me, why were you trying to learn magic?”
“I say the unicorns lifting stuff with their horns and wanted to see if I could do something cool too,” Luke thought back to see the simple act of telekinesis and how he wanted to do psychic stuff too.
“I see,” Hastur rubbed a tentacle hand against the chin of his mask. Bending over, Hastur took a closer look at Luke. Something had caught his attention. Something of interest to the Elder God that made Luke’s skin crawl. But he didn’t flinch away, not knowing what kind of consequence he might face.
“Um, what’cha doing?”
“You are different,” Hastur muttered more to himself than the hippogriff or the pony. “There’s something in you and I’m not sure of what it is,” Hastur said as he straitened himself.
“What do you mean?” Big Mac asked in worry, his green eyes moving from between Luke and Hastur.
“There are several irregularities with this situation,” Hastur commented. “Normally a series of rituals and rights would have to be performed to get my attention. But you’re voice came to me in a whisper from this particular time and location. When my followers try to summon me or gain my attention, their calls are clunky and almost non-existent unless I’m listening for their call. You are not like them and that intrigues me.”
Luke’s brow furrowed in concentration, “Is that good or bad? I’m kinda unsure right now.”
Hastur held up his freehand, “I would say ‘good’ in your case.” Luke raised an inquiring eyebrow. “It’s good that you didn’t try any other god or entity. If any of the other had been summoned, you would have been killed, possessed or something worse. With me, I find you interesting and I will not harm something I found interesting.”
“So it’s basically entertainment for you?” Luke asked, listening to every word spoken by the entity.
“Yes.”
Well that’s good I guess, Luke thought to himself with a heavy weight in his stomach.
Hastur turned his gaze to the apple trees, the red barn and the house. His eyes took in the average sights with great interest. As an entity from beyond space and time, it was rare he would see something so average. With deft movements, Hastur made his way to one of the nearest trees.
Big Mac and Luke shared an uneasy look before following the entity. Neither wanted any of the unprepared ponies to come into contact with this unknowable entity. Hastur placed a clammy hand against the rough bark, “I haven’t seen a true apple tree on this particular Earth for so many years. I mean they did exist, but that A-hole did some weird things and just ruined them.” Hastur turned towards the pair, “Have you ever bit into an apple and found it was filled with cotton candy?”
“What?” both Big Mac and Luke asked incredulously, neither could consider the notion. That’s just wrong! Apples are apples and nothing else, Big Mac thought as if these words where utter blasphemy.
“Exactly!” Hastur agreed. Hastur turned to the larger pony, “May I?”
“Sure,” Big Mac nodded a little over enthusiastically, “we’ve got plenty.”
“Thank you,” Hastur’s boneless fingers wrapped around one of the many perfect orbs of red flesh.
Now how Hastur ate the apple. It was in his tentacles and then it was gone. Luke and Big Mac watched in confusion and slight horror as Hastur hummed in almost ecstasy. The yellow robes seemed to shift at the joy of the fruit. “This has got to be the best apple I have ever had,” Hastur said with glee, his tentacles taking several apples and consuming them with great gusto.
“Do you know what’s going on?” Big Mac hissed to Luke.
“No idea,” Luke hissed back. How the F**k would I know what an inter-dimensional god beyond space and time would? Who am I? H. P. Lovecraft?
After Hastur had his fun, the Yellow King turned towards the pair with an appraising eye. “You are quite the farmer, ummmm… Big Mac,” Hastur nodded towards the red pony.
“Thank ya,” Big Mac scratched the back of his head in embarrassment at the sudden praise.
Hastur chuckled slightly, a sudden thought entering his mind. “By the way, why haven’t either of you freaked out, screamed indiscriminately or bled from your eyes? That usually happens when I enter a realm like this.”
Luke turned to Big Mac, “I don’t know about him, but you’re not the first god from beyond my reasoning I’ve met.”
Now that caught Hastur’s attention, “Really? Do you by chance know his name?”
“No clue,” Luke said.
“No problem,” Hastur turned to Big Mac. “But what’s your story?”
“Uh… Weird stuff happens all the time. You kinda get use to it,” Big Mac answered unsure of what to say.
“Interesting,” Hastur stared at them, deep in his thoughts. Luke and Big Mac just stood there awkwardly as the elder god contemplated in silence. “Well, I think I’ve been in your hair and feathers for long enough,” Hastur finally broke the silence. “But I do thank you for the apples and for an interesting time…” With a tentacle, Hastur reached into his strange silken robes. The sight of a tentacle rummaging around other shifting parts caused Luke and Big Mac to looked at, a slight green tint on their cheeks. The sound of squishy parts being moved around where abnormally loud and neither of the pair wanted to hear it.
With an over-exaggerated twirl of his tentacle, Hastur produced what appeared to be two shiny stones. “Here you go,” the Yellow King tossed one to each of the mortal beings. Luke barely managed to catch his. After he almost dropped it between his claws, Luke finally got a good look at the stone. It was crystal in structure, but felt surprisingly heavy in his thin talons. A blue light filtered through the unknown crystal. Luke cast a glance to Big Mac a similar green crystal held to the light.
“These are condensed crystals,” Hastur explained, “Normally these crystals are used as industrial work on Alpha-Beta-9.”
“What kind of industrial work?” Big Mac asked in a confused toned.
“Oh that’s the fun part,” Hastur snatched the green crystal, pointing the crystal towards the sky. With a fraction of effort, Hastur produced a single spark of energy. The result was a bright green blast flying through the sky.
“Woah!” Luke and Big Mac gasped in awe and wonder.
“These particular crystals focus energy due to having a denser molecular structure,” Hastur said offhandedly, tossing the crystal back to the red stallion. “And don’t forget this,” Hastur tossed the thick book of magic towards Luke.
“Ow!” Luke flew back as the book collided with his face. AH! The face! Why is it always the face?
“Are you alright?” Hastur asked, while Big Mac helped Luke to his hooves.
“Yeah I’m fine,” Luke muttered, one hand tightly wrapped around the blue stone.
“Sorry, I’m not use to interacting with mortals this. I use to but that was when humans were still running around this place,” Hastur said apologetically. “You wouldn’t know what happened to them would you?”
“They got killed by a twat that happened to be the fever dream of a deranged Zoo keeper Frankenstein,” Luke muttered while rubbing the sore part of his beak.
“That was a very strange and concessive sentence,” Hastur mused. “And as sorry for the nose I’ll give you a little magic lesson.”
“Sweet!”
Hastur lowered himself to Luke’s hight, “Now magic is simple in concept and paper, but it is a personal experience. Magic comes from understanding of the body, mind and soul. To perform magic, you must first understand who you are.”
Luke mulled it over in his mind, “So what your saying is I have to obtain Enlightenment and become a Buddha.”
Hastur patted Luke on his fluffy head, “Not to that extent, but yes. Discover yourself and you will discover magic.” Or something else if my feeling is right about you.
“Cool. Thanks Mr. H,” Luke smiled.
Hastur casually floated into the air with a wave to the pair, “Later!” Without a word of whisper, the abomination beyond time and space left while taking with him the tear in reality and the blood ridden sky.
Luke and Big Mac watched the Yellow King leave without a word. The pair stood in the morning air without any words between them, only the shifting of leaves were there company.
“So,” Big Mac began.
“So?”
“That was … both interesting and horrifying,” Big Mac said, the fur all over his body standing on end.
“That about sums it up.”
“What was that thing?” Big Mac asked, his eyes still glued to the sky.
“A god from beyond time and space,” Luke answered in a mater-of-fact manner.
“Really?”
“Sure am.”
Big Mac sighed, “Well if ya don’t mind me, Ah’m gonna go have a nervous breakdown in the barn.”
“Me too, but before we do that I need you to promise me something,” Luke responded quickly.
“What’s that?”
“Don’t tell anyone about this. If your sister finds out about Mr. H or any of the other Outer Gods or Elder Things, she might unleashed an untold amount of madness and death by trying to investigate further,” Luke’s eye was twitching erratically at this point.
Big Mac wanted to argue, but he knew his sister and her friends far too well and something like this would gain the attention of some very determined ponies. “That sounds good to me.”
“Good.”
Luke and Big Mac slowly turned towards the barn, their legs shaking as they made their way towards the red sanctuary.
“Hey Luke?”
“Yeah, Mac?”
“That Mr. H guy was really chill. He seems like a cool guy.”
“I know right! I could totally hang out with him over beer and sports.”
“When did you have a beer?” Big Mac’s concern voice became muffled as he pulled the door closed.
“Um… Research?”
Big Mac decided to drop the subject, taking a moment to ensure there was no one else in the barn. When he and Luke ensured they were alone, the barn became willed with the loud screaming and random babbling of two mentally strained individuals.
0 0 0
High above Ponyville, a rattling of the air shook a rather impressive home made from fluffy white clouds. The contents of the sky home rattled with such force it managed to wake the sole inhabitant. Her rainbow colored mane stood out worse than normal as Rainbow Dash jerked awake, throwing away her Wonderbolts blanket.
Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, the cyan Pegasus moved towards the window. The sun wasn’t even up properly and that made this rude wakeup call even more annoying to Rainbow Dash. When she finally opened her eyes, Rainbow Dash could only gape at the sudden blood red sky and hole of nothingness hovering above Sweet Apple Acres.
Rainbow Dash’s tiredness was washed away in the worry that filled her chest. Applejack and her family were there and something weird was happening. Taking off like a rocket, Rainbow rushed towards the farm. The wind whipped past her face as she left a trail of multiple colors in her wake.
Her cyan eyes caught sight of something tall standing between the trees. There Rainbow Dash hovered, high above the apple trees, trying to discern what that thing was. Before she could do anything else, the unknown entity began to rise into the air waving towards the ground.
Rainbow Dash wanted to do something. Her muscles screamed for action but nothing responded in the presence of this thing. She could only hover there, her wings straining to remain airborne as the thing drew closer to the sky.
Then it turned towards her. What it said was not what Rainbow Dash expected. “Yo girl, you rocking that hair! Pink Floyd all the way man!”
Then it was gone, leaving a rather terrified and confused Rainbow Dash alone in the now normal blue sky. What’s Pink Floyd? Also, what in the name of Celestia was that thing? It was all, wriggly and gross! Oh I know! Twilight will know! I’m gonna go see her right now.
Rainbow Dash flew through the air as rapid as her wings could carry her. A few of the early ponies looked up to catch a glimpse of her colored trail. Many were confused at the sheer fact that Rainbow Dash was up this early in the morning.
Crashing through the front door, Rainbow Dash called, “Hey Twilight! I need your smarts!”
No answering yell of anger or concern reached Rainbow Dash’s ears. That’s weird. Normally when I crash into her house, Twilight yells at me or something. But not this. This is weird.
Rainbow Dash dashed down the wide open hallway, the poor light reflected of the crystalline structure to create a rather eerie atmosphere. The situation made the fur along Rainbow Dash’s spine stand on end. Rainbow assumed Twilight was in her favorite place of the palace, the library.
Kicking open the doors, Rainbow Dash was surprised at the site. Papers littered the center tables of the library. A large chalkboard was covered with numbers and symbols Rainbow had no idea what they were. Spike was laying on one of the tables, papers crumbled under his spines as he snored loudly, “No more letter… no more.”
It wasn’t hard to find Twilight. The Princess of Friendship was currently rushing back and forth in front of the chalkboard. Her main was a mess and was sticking up in every possible direction. Her once pristine purple coat was oily and looked like she had not taken a bath for several days. The dark bags under her eyes were the most daunting sight. They were so dark that it appeared as if her eyes had sunken into her head in an attempt to flee from the constant abuse they were experiencing.
“Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked in a hesitant voice.
“Sorry… Can’t talk… working,” Twilight responded, her voice was worn and tired that it made Rainbow Dash feel her eyes drooping.
“Um… I kinda got a problem and need your smarts,” Rainbow Dash approached the purple pony.
“Can’t have to get the response from Trottingham University,” Twilight’s shaky magic took hold of her coffee and draining the caffeinated in a few gulps.
“No,” Rainbow Dash moved in front of Twilight. “Something tore apart the sky and floated down from it over Sweet Apple Acres. I don’t know what it was, but I really need help because it was weird and was really freaking me out.”
Twilight stared at Rainbow Dash, her unblinking eyes just looking at the cyan Pegasus. “Uh, Twilight?”
Twilight jerked to the side, looking towards the chalk board then back to Rainbow Dash. “Sorry Dash, but I’ve got to work on this. T-this is the most important thing right now,” Twilight tiredly said, moving away from Rainbow Dash.
“More important than an invasion from Celestia knows where?” Rainbow slammed her hooves into the ground in anger.
“Yes,” Twilight muttered over her shoulder, her blank eyes scanning more parchment.
Rainbow Dash growled, looking to the chalkboard and the egghead stuff it held. Oh you are not going to ignore this!
Twilight blinked, her sore eyes felt like they were on fire. She had to continue no matter how tired she felt. This was far too important to leave alone. From all across Equestria, lead mathematicians and scientist where constantly writing her. This has got to be the biggest thing since Frisbees.
Spike was more than happy to ferry the letters. No matter how much he wanted to complain about his upset stomach. This was for science. And Twilight Sparkle would answer her mistress’s call. No matter what-What happened to my chalkboard?
“What?” Twilight’s over used and caffeinated brain was stalling at the sight of a blank black surface.
Rainbow Dash hovered next to the princess wearing a rather smug look, “Now that your egghead stuff is gone. Now we can do some important stuff, like stop whatever it is at Applejack’s place.”
“Sweet Apple Acres,” Twilight muttered to herself. How could it be gone? The answer to the Clover the Clever’s Conundrum was right in front of her! More importantly, the process alone was worth investigating further. Areas of mathematics never heard from… So much knowledge! Twilight internally wanted to scream. She could have uncovered more with the method than the solution. Wait a second! Wasn’t Applejack here with Applebloom and Luke.
“Yeah! The sky was all red and there was this hole, then something came from it and it was all wiggly…”
“Luke’s there?
“Yeah he is,” Rainbow Dash responded with some hesitation. “But there was this thing…”
Before Rainbow Dash could respond, Twilight disappeared in a flash of violet light and leaving Rainbow Dash alone with the sleeping dragon. “Oh come on Twilight!”
0 0 0
The barn was a sanctuary to all travels. Here there was only silence and security here. Within the warm hay and rustic atmosphere there was no judgment, only comfort and peace. Big Mac and Luke sat silently on the bales of hair, just listening to the sounds of silence.
“You said you saw something like him before?” Big Mac looked to the hippogriff with a very worried expression.
“Yes.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Not really,” Luke shrugged with indifference, “I found the best way to deal with existential horrors is to not think about them, because if others were to get word of these entities out there, they’d probably go insane.”
“How strong are they?”
“Let’s say that we’d be the ants and the gods would be the angry kid with the magnifying glass,” Luke pointed out.
“Why would a kid need a magnifying glass for ants?” Big Mac asked in confusion.
Luke Skywalker turned to the large pony in surprise, “You never burnt ants with a magnifying glass?”
“Nope.”
“Wow, you had a really sheltered childhood,” Luke commented.
“Why would you do that in the first place?” Big Mac repeated his earlier quandary.
“You got to play god,” Luke responded, “you got to decide who lived and who died.”
“That’s really twisted,” Big Mac said hesitantly.
“Kids are kinda twisted,” Luke looked up to Big Mac with an innocent smile.
Outside of the soul crushing realization that just how uncaring the universe is, Luke felt rather upbeat about today’s events. Sure I almost doomed the world, but nothing bad happened. I think I’m off the hook. Plus, Big Mac was there and the large pony was welcomed company since the majority of the contact he had with Equestria was of the fairer sex.
Before Luke or Big Mac could continue, a flash of bright violet light filled the barn. “My eye!” Luke screamed. Can’t you people be nice to the eye? I’ve only got one left!
Big Mac recovered first, his vision clearing to see a very distressed Twilight. The stallion noticed the unkempt appearance and crazed look in her eyes. “Miss Twilight?” Big Mac deep voice caught Twilight’s attention. The wide smile caused Big Mac to feel very uneasy. The small pit in his stomach was still there after the sudden appearance of Hastur.
“Hi Big Mac!” Twilight’s voice was cracking slightly, her eyes darting to Luke as he finished rubbing the blinding white spots from his vision. “And hello Luke Skywalker!”
“Hello stranger danger,” Luke responded wearily, slowly sliding closer to the big red pony. Protect me Big Mac, she’s clearly coocoo for Coco Puffs.
“What can we do fir you today, Twilight?” Big Mac asked, a bead of sweat developing on his brow at the hungry look in Twilight’s eyes.
“Oh I just need Luke to help me with some math,” Twilight answered, the muscles in her neck straining at the smile she was wearing.
“Don’t leave me here with her,” Luke hissed from the corner of his mouth.
“Sorry Twilight,” Big Mac thought quickly, “But Luke and ah were just about to fix the fence line.”
“But he’s still injured,” Twilight took a step forward.
“I feel like we need an adult,” Luke hissed.
“I am an adult,” Twilight continued taking another step.
“Another adult to deal with whatever’s wrong with you,” Luke pressed himself against Big Mac’s warm side. God what is he made out of? Metal?
“But I just want you to show me the solution to Clover the Clever’s Conundrum,” Twilight summoned a notepad and quill with a flash of magic.
Luke looked confused, “The what conundrum?”
“The Clover Conundrum,” Twilight abbreviated the name for convenience.
“No idea what that is.”
“The math equation you solved,” Twilight felt the pressure building in her temple.
“Dude, I was bored this entire week and I did a whole bunch of math problems to stay busy. You’re going to have to be a little more specific,” Luke rolled his eyes at the clearly crazed mare.
“You were at my library the other day and solved the equation on the chalk board,” Twilight continued to move closer, her eyelid convulsing beyond her control.
“Wait. You thought that was difficult?” Luke asked in surprised.
That caught Twilight off guard, causing her to freeze in her steps. “Y-you thought it was easy?” There’s no way it could be easy. For over a hundred years, ponies have tried to solve it. It couldn’t be that easy for him.
“Yeah it was. I did it in what, twenty minutes,” Luke admonished. “I mean it’s nothing compared to Theoretical Physics and the works of Stephen Hawking. Now that is a man who knows some stuff.”
Twilight’s lips twitched, “So you can solve this equation for me.”
“I can, but you didn’t ask nicely,” Luke folded his arms over his fluffy plumage.
“Can you please solve the equation for me?” Twilight’s words slipped past her grinding teeth. Her head felt like it would crack in two from the amount of cranial power she was trying to force through it.
Luke rubbed his chin together, faking a look of deep concentration. “Nope.”
Big Mac wanted to admonish Luke on his behavior, but the sudden sparking from Twilight’s horn and the look of twisting pain on her face was pointing towards Luke might have the right idea to not involve himself in whatever was wrong with Twilight.
“No? NO? Why NOT?” Twilight seethed, the pain rushing behind her eyes almost making her eyes pop out of her skull.
“Because you’re kinda freaking me out and I don’t wanna play with you,” Luke responded with as much innocence as he could. Yes, give into the injured puppy look. You cannot resist.
Big Mac decided to try and intervene, “Now Twilight, if you will excuse meh. Luke and ah have a fence to fix.”
Before Big Mac could get the tools, Twilight had another idea. “How about this?” With a flash of her horn, Big Mac suddenly found himself standing on the far side of the apple orchard next to the worn wooden fence line. Big Mac’s head twisted around at the sudden change of scenery, “But ah didn’t bring mah tools!”
Luke stared at where Big Mac had once stood, gulping at the still smoking ground. “Now Luke, it’s just you, me and math,” Twilight continued to approach him, taking a seat on the smooth ground. Her eyes where fixed on the young hippogriff like a wolf before a feast of succulent flesh. Twilight handed Luke the notepad, still wearing that creepy smile. What is wrong with your face?!
Luke looked down at the notepad. On front were several numbers and figures that were familiar to the hippogriff. Nervously, Luke took the quill and began sketching his answer. Normally math was a simple process that requires focus. It was kind of hard when a very crazed mare was breathing down the back of his neck. Her hot breath fluttered across Luke’s feathers, causing his discomfort to rise. Then she had to talk.
“What’s this conversion? What’s that symbol? Why this figure? What is the value of i?”
“Listen woman!” Luke snapped, getting a million questions a second. He looked up into her eyes with his one good eye blazing like a flame, “If you don’t stop, then I won’t finish this thing! Got it?”
“How can you not?” Twilight was at the point of skipping around like a school girl. “This will revolutionize magic for years to come! The professor’s at Neighard are already looking into its applications! You have to help! It’s for the sake all ponykind!”
“Wait! What professors?” Luke looked incredulously at the princess.
“Oh there are so many from Vanhoover to Trottingham and even a few in the Royal Society of Magic,” Twilight was almost drooling at this point by the small glittering liquid pooling at the corner of her mouth. “Then there’s the magazine, scientific articles-“
“Do they know who solved the equation?”
“What now?” Twilight shook herself out of her revelries.
“Do they know who solved the equation?” Luke asked slowly and with great articulation. “Was it you or me?”
Twilight chewed her lip, her overworked brain grinding against her skull. All of the letters were all in her name and never once referenced how Clover’s Conundrum was solved. Twilight felt a growing pit in her stomach. How could she have missed something so simple? To the world, Twilight was the one that had solved the conundrum and had taken full credit. She looked into the accusing eye of the little hippogriff.
“Oh, I am so sorry Luke,” Twilight began, but Luke held up his claw to silence her.
This was not just an insult, but a deep disrespect towards his intellect. Luke felt he wasn’t the smartest student in class; he worked hard and that was it. Now he was the only hippogriff in this entire town and she was stealing his knowledge on something that was apparently groundbreaking for magic. Luke didn’t care about the attention. What he cared about was the fact that the integrity of this so-called Princess was so low.
Luke proceeded to rip apart the notepad. His sharp talons made quick work of the paper, turning it into fine ribbons. Twilight made to respond, but Luke cut her off. His high-pitched voice cutting through her complaints, “I see how it is. You just want to take the ideas of the hard working hippogriff and use them like they were your own.”
“What? I didn’t mean-“
“Oh don’t try to lie to me! I know how it is! It’s always the same, the minorities are always the one kept low by the man, or in this case the mare,” Luke was going off on his own rant now, the sudden realization that he was able to use Race Card. Something he had never been privy too was now his to use. I hope my black friends can forgive me.
“I would never do something like that.”
“Well I would beg to differ,” Luke snorted, “Have you ever seen the famous mathematicians of Equestria. All of them are pointy head unicorns!”
“That’s not true,” Twilight reached back into her memory. She couldn’t quite remember all the famous ponies, but all she could remember where… the… unicorns… Uh-oh. “That doesn’t mean I would do something like that,” Twilight tried to defend yourselfe.
“Uh, you already did. All those professors and magazines you were drooling over were provided by Princess Twilight Sparkle and probably believe that you were the one who solved it. Don’t they?” Luke drilled the point home.
“I can send a letter,” Twilight tried to say, her voice sounded feeble to the hippogriff.
“Oh yes, tell them that an eight-year-old solved a mathematical equation that most have spent years trying to solve. And then tell them that this eight-year-old just so happens to be of a different species without magic. Because from the history books, those with a big boner popping out of their heads are the only ones that get high level education jobs,” Luke crossed his arms, daring Twilight to rebut his point.
Twilight was trying to think of a point, but now that her mind was on the subject just how many Earth ponies or Pegasus were actually active in the fields of mathematics. Most Pegasus where focused on meteorology and the study of the weather, while Earth ponies studied the ground, plants and several related fields like that.
“Well, not everypony is fit into certain fields…”
“Oh so having magic allowed you to do math?” sarcasm was dripping off of Luke’s squeaky voice. “Huh, I wonder how I did it.”
“How did you do it?”
“Still trying to steal my sh*t. Well the answer is no,” Luke nodded in defiance. “You think that just because you have a crown you can call the shots. And do you think that you can slap some cute, fuzzy word to make this okay? Do you not see what this is? Do you know what this is?”
“What is it?” Twilight asked.
“Gentrification, Mother-f***er! Because apparently the master race of magic user want to drive out the none unicorn elements from a high position of learning and power. I bet that you and all your crusty-a** professors or politicians use words like ‘friends’ or ‘equals’ to make the major population compliant so they you can make the country quote, unquote safe,” Luke knew he was making things up as he went along. But this was an opportunity to really utilize the fact that he was a minority in this world full of ponies and the only governing figure he had come into contact with had the balls to try and use his work for her own use. “And the most insulting part of this argument is that you are still trying to use those words to continue to try and convince me that I want to be one of you. That I want to give my ideas without any recognition of my race’s work just because you asked nicely. My generation has built their foundation of understanding on the shoulders of giants, some of the greatest minds across countries. You want me to give up my heritage and honor to feed your hunger for knowledge. Hell I might as well accept your indoctrination and I finally say ‘I want to be a pony!’”
“Aren’t you part pony?”
000
Rainbow Dash flew as fast as she could towards Applejack’s home, one of her wings was barely working. Cramp! Cramp! Cramp! The cyan Pegasus landed just as the sound of thunderous hooves where approaching the barn. Turning, Rainbow Dash caught sight of Big Mac racing towards her, a cloud of dust in his wake.
Big Mac skidded to a halt next to her, his heart pumping rapidly in his chest. Going across so many acres was not easy. Looking at the way her right wing was held off to the side, Big Mac asked, “Are you alright?”
“Just a cramp,” Rainbow Dash shrugged, wincing as her wing was shifted. “By the way, have you seen anything weird today? Maybe something crazy looking?”
“Miss Twilight did teleport into mah barn and try to force Luke into doing some math for her,” Big Mac moved towards the barn, ready to pull open the heavy doors.
“That does sound weird and crazy,” Rainbow Dash grunted.
A flash of violet light caused his hoof to stop before the barn was filled with loud, angry yells of “Hippogriff Rage! Hippogriff Rage!” Big Mac ripped the door open, revealing Luke standing atop the hay bales throwing the mother of all temper tantrums. Hay was flying everywhere along with harsh words.
Big Mac decided to slowly close the door, whispering to Rainbow Dash, “He’ll tire himself out. Just give him a few minutes.”
“From what Twilight was like earlier,” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head awkwardly, “I don’t think it’s all his fault. She was going crazy, Mac.”
Big Mac hummed in agreement, catching sight of Rainbow Dashes stiff wing. “Do ya want some ice for that?”
“That’d be real nice,” Rainbow Dash sighed in relief. I’ll ask Twilight later about what that thing was later… when she’s a little less Pinkie crazy.