I've always hated long days. I have come to believe that having so many things happening all at once can easily make you feel overwhelmed. It only gets worse when you want to write it down in your journal, but you can't. "Ugh, I'm so tired."
The only thing that I'm willing to do now is to just sit here in this dining room chair and stare at the ceiling, contemplating on where to begin. I look down at the blank notebook page before me with my tired eyes and take in a deep breath. I was told that the simple act of breathing can calm your nerves. As I breathed in the warm stuffy air of this old rented house, I find it to be false.
I want to pour out all of my feelings on paper: everything I felt about my school, everything I felt about myself, and especially everything I felt about her. I don't want everything that I've experienced to be just another distant memory with barely any recollection of what truly happened.
I want it all to be crisp and clear; to be able to hear her voice and to feel her touch through the pages as I read it over and over and over again. I want the reader to feel my love for her as I danced with her between my hooves under the dim lights of the chandeliers, to feel my pain as I helplessly watched her tears flow down her face with sadness deep within her eyes, and to feel my sorrow as I witnessed her be consumed by her inner demons and cast far away beyond my reach.
But how can I convey all of that in the simplest way possible? Ultimately, I decide to just start from the beginning, where it all started. I swiftly lift the quill with my magic and press it against the paper, and then the words flowed with the flick of my quill: I want you all to know the tale, the tale of the Mare in the Moon.
~~~~~
It was a cool August morning, the birds in the trees were singing, and the wind blew gently across my face as I walked to my school: Celestia's School of Magic. It was a school started mainly to have other unicorns develop and perfect their magical abilities before going out into the real world. It used to be a studious school, but as time passed, the interests of the generation changed.
Colts and fillies alike would get into these semiannual magic competitions that would test and see who was the most talented in magic. The school got involved as soon as they recognized how much the students loved it. Other than this, the school started to have its own physical sports, like buckball and ping pong. These new extracurricular activities piqued the interest of the students even more. At the time, the school didn't feel like a studious environment as it was before. Magic was always focused on who had the best performance. Those who had an innate capability were praised. But those who didn't – though they worked hard – felt discouraged thinking that they couldn't measure up and eventually stopped trying to improve themselves in their magic. Others just joined a sport.
Due to these new changes in the school, the behavior of the students also changed. They had separated into cliques and each grade didn't seem to be like a team at all anymore. They each instead became more of a single, wooden whole split into tiny splinters and chunks, and nopony seemed to mind it at all. I hadn't realized the changes myself until I had entered into this school in the 5th grade. Previously, I had been attending a smaller magic school, until it was shut down and the student population was moved here.
I used to hate the students, then I started to hate the environment I was in, and then I started to blame the school itself for what it has become. But I've realized that I never actually hated either of these things; what I hated was what society had become – a cesspool of depraved hearts trying to find meaning in the world in the wrong places – and that I've been placed right in the middle of it all. Not to say that I wasn't trying to find meaning in the world myself, but I've come to realize that many ponies are heading in the wrong direction, and those who are headed in the right direction are a rare sight to find. But who am I to say anything, I mean, I'm just a regular school pony who has no voice in the world. Who would ever want to listen to me?
I continued to trot my way to school and the sound of the birds singing in the trees slowly faded away as all the ponies in Canterlot entered into the streets. As the crowd grew, the noise escalated as well. I could hear the clacking of hooves on the ground, the many different conversations taking place, and the bumping of wooden wheels on the dirt road. Canterlot always got busy in the morning, and the ponies never stopped working. This made me realize what time of the day it was. Since everypony is now out and about working, that only means… "I'm going to be late!" I exclaimed. It was the rush hour.
I bolted through the crowds and dodged all the bustling ponies on the streets. My study satchel was dangling from my body and flying through the air as I dashed. My head was ahead of my body as if my body had a hard time keeping up. The school was only a few feet up ahead, but I didn't want to risk the chances of not making it in time for the orientation with everypony staring at me as I walked through the gym. Especially since this has been a recurring thing for me.
After about 5 minutes of galloping I made it to the steps of the school, a few ponies were outside just getting ready to go inside and they gave me a look as if to say: "What happened to you?" I didn't mind it much at all. I mean, what do they know about me anyways? Their faces looked familiar, and I wasn't surprised, it's a small school after all.
I walked through the doors and a reminiscent vibe shot right through me. It's as if I've never even left the school for summer, and it felt like another Monday in the middle of the school year. I walked up the next set of steps to enter into the gym, and I was introduced with a familiar disturbance. I walked through the doors of the gym and what I get is the usual back to school welcome: noise left and right, and nopony seemed to notice I entered. Not to say that I cared – all of it was normal for me – but it feels like it gets worse after each year.
I looked around and found my classmates from the previous year sitting in the chairs close to where I have entered. Amongst them, I also spotted some new faces, and excitement swelled within me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and told myself: This year will be different; I will not let anything weigh me down!
I made my way down to the aisle and found an empty seat next to an old friend of mine. As I moved closer to her, she looked my way and smiled, "Good morning, Inkflow!" she said happily.
"Hey Olive." I tried my best to smile back the best I could, but my insecurity held me back. I felt my mouth smile weakly and I quickly looked down at the empty seat. "Is anypony sitting here?" I asked.
"No, you can sit there," she said.
“Thanks, Olive.”
As small as the conversation was, I tried to not make things awkward for the both of us, especially me. I set my study satchel on the ground and took my seat. I peered through the small gymnasium, and I saw everypony engaged in conversation. Many students were getting along well, even the new ones. As for the teachers, not many could be seen, for they were probably still meeting in their "teacher’s room" to prepare for their day.
I made it before the orientation began, but I still considered myself to be late, because of the fact that I missed the opportunity of meeting the new students. This may not be such a concern for many ponies, but this can determine whether or not you will have a good year; basically, whether you will end up being alone throughout the year or with a group of friends to ensure survival. Then again, what about your old classmates, you may ask? Well, just because I knew ponies from my class does not mean I am their friend. That's my number one reason why I hate socializing nowadays; ponies create cliques and you end up having to find your own clique to be with. Sadly, there isn't necessarily a clique for everypony, and if you're like me then you will ultimately find yourself alone with not many ponies to hang out with.
Of course, you'd probably say that it's my fault that I don't have anypony to be with, and you have a point there. Then again, how about you try being one of the few ponies who doesn't even bother catching up with the trends and interests of the generation? The last time I did that, I ended up nearly hating myself for becoming somepony I don't find appealing. Plus, what's the use anyway; trends and interests don't last. The moment you think you've caught up with every single trend and interest, society moves onto another one.
But who am I kidding, these cliques only care about themselves, and it ain't worth becoming somepony selfish. If it wasn't for me being a nonconformist I wouldn't have been friends with Olive. I turned to look at my friend and she happened to be doing the same thing I’ve been doing for the past ten minutes: looking around quietly. I wondered what she was pondering about, was it the same thing that was on my mind?
Throughout the years, it's only been the two of us keeping each other together. Before, if she wasn't there, I had my brother to confide in. But unlike me, she had nopony. That's why I became her friend; she had no clique to be with, just like me, and I wanted to give her the same love that my big brother gave me. It wasn't easy, however, to keep my friendship with her strong. She always tried to find others to be with but ended up getting herself hurt. The same was for me too; we both kept doing the same thing each year. Sometimes, it was even with the same group of ponies, and we always went back to each other for strength.
She was a light green mare with bright yellow eyes that always wore a red bowtie to match the color of her hair and hold her ponytail in place. To top all of that, she had this gentle smile that I always adored since the beginning of our friendship. She always showed that to everypony as they greeted her. I envied how she always carried herself, because she possesses a gift that surpasses any kind of magic in the book, and I wished that I could be like her. Nonetheless, I'm glad that I'm her friend because I get to experience that every time I'm with her—which is nearly every day. Looking at her made me think: how could anypony ever not want to be her friend? In fact, how could anypony not want to be my friend?
As I processed my questions, the noise in the gymnasium died down as an alicorn immediately spoke from the stage with a loud voice, "GOOD MORNING, EVERYPONY, AND WELCOME BACK TO SCHOOL. FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW, I AM YOUR PRINCIPAL, PRINCESS CELESTIA."
The crowd clapped to Princess Celestia’s Royal Canterlot Voice, and she paused for effect. She smiled with pleasure as if to convey her thankfulness that her presence was appreciated by the students. I assumed that it was, as I myself appreciated the fact that she had boldly decided to orient the students herself this time.
"It is my pleasure to be here today and orient you all to another great year for this school. Before I send you off to be with your scheduled teachers, I would like to go through some parts of the student handbook, just as this school has done every year," she said, lowering the volume of her voice.
As the Princess grabbed a book from a small table next to her, Olive grabbed my attention by tapping me with her hoof, "Pssst, Inkflow!"
I took notice and looked her way. "You know, you don't have to do that right? I'm right here sitting next to you," I whispered back.
She giggles. “Yeah I know, but we're going to be here a while, am I right?"
"Yup, just like every single year," I said with a grin.
We both shared a small laugh, and then we proceeded to pay close attention as the Princess cleared her voice. But I couldn't help but whisper a small rhetorical statement to myself, "This is going to be one long school year."