//------------------------------//
// (Side Chapter) The Mane Six watch DEATH BATTLE: The Batter V.S. Super Perfect Cell 
// Story: OFF the rails 
// by The Winged Merchant 
//------------------------------//

(3rd Person)

It was an oddly normal day with our chaos god as Trepp and Alpha were watching funny cat videos, Deadman was watching the mane six watch DEATH BATTLE. They had just finished watching Toph and Garra duking it out, and Harmony was making sure nothing funny was going on with Equestria.

However the sound of knocking caught their attention as a rectangular outline appeared to side of the room as it turned into a white outline of a normal door. It eventually opened revealing a starry night sky with a small orange X in the background as a lone young teen with dark black hair stepped through. He wore a white sweater with a black heart near the top and in middle of it on the front side of it. He also wore a similar shade of black pants and boots. His most striking feature was the white cat mask with no nose, black holes where his eyes should be, and finally the mask had a odd looking but familiar grin.

"Buenos días mis amigos." he said.

"HEY ZACHARIE." Deadman said to the new visitor. 

"Hey Deadman." the new visitor named Zacharie said back.

Of course he wasn't the real Zacharie, but due to the gods resemblance to the merchant from OFF, he had decided to go by Zacharie.

"SO WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING MY PAL."

"I've been busy with a displace I've made."

"WHO DID YOU CHOOSE? LUIGI? WALUIGI? RAPUNZEL? SANS? SHANTAE?"

"Ironically Sans is his real name, but he has the body of The Batter from OFF."

"AH YES, YOU'RE FAVORITE GAME."

"So what have you been up to lately?"

"I GA-"

“He gave the mane six a complete set of a famous web show and have them watch it one episode at a time and gives them gifts relating to the episode." Alpha said ignoring the fact that Deadman was just about to tell him.

"Which show?"

"DEATH BATTLE." Both Deadman and Alpha said at the same time.

"Fuck I'm down, I love Death Battle. Have they seen Chuck Norris vs Segata Sanshiro yet? I bet Twilight would go braindead after the fight." Zacharie said like it completely normal sentence.

"NO, BUT THEY'RE GETTING CLOSE, THEY'RE ABOUT TO SEE THE REMASTERED FIGHT BETWEEN SAMUS AND BOBA FETT."

"Sweet, hey mind if I show them a battle I've found online?"

"WHO ARE THE FIGHTERS?"

"...I'm not telling."

"(SIGH) ...FINE. BUT YOU'RE DISPLACE HAS TO JOIN THEM THEM IF IT'S RELATED TO THE BATTER GOT IT?"

"Deal. But I get to pick the gifts for them."

"DEAL."

"Now then let go do something real quick." Zacharie said them left back though the door.



Our favorite ponies were preparing to watch the next episode

"Alright we got the drinks and food set up, let's see watch the next epi-" Twilight said only for a bright white light to fill the room.

When the lighted died out It was Sunset as a pony, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna, and a mysterious white pony with short white mane and tail that has a black baseball hat on with a striped shirt and 3 white rings for a cutie mark. He wore a Black shirt that covers his forelegs.

"Twilight?" Sunset asked.

"Oh hey Sunset, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna we we're just about to watch the next episode of death battle." Twilight said

"Death Battle!?" The white pony shouted "I know that show. It's a fan favorite of mine."

"Um... Who are you?" Rainbow asked

"I am The Batter, let's just say I'm not from around here nor Canterlot High. Now then how did we get here?" He said and asked.

"Usually it's Deadman." Rarity answers.

"Except this time, that would be me." A voice echos throughout the room. It wasn't Deadman's voice, this was startling to the ten.

Suddenly Zacharie appears with a "Hello I'm Zacharie, but I'm not the same one as the one in OFF. Far from it in fact, like Deadman I'm a chaos god. However you don't have to treat me like a god. Also I'm the one who displaced The Batter in the first "

"So you're the one who displaced me? So you're an author then?" Batter asked.

"Yes, but I brought you all here for a reason." Zacharie said.

"Let me guess to watch the next Death Battle?" Celestia guessed.

"Actually both yes and no. We are watching Death Battle, just not the one you were about to watch." Zacharie said.

"Who are the fighters then?" Rainbow asked.

"Oh You'll see..." Zacharie said with a cocky tone as he used his powers to summon a tape and start the episode.




Interlude


Boomstick: Fathers, some are good, some are bad. So let us have a badass battle to the death between two of the most evil ones.

"This should be interesting." Luna said interested.

Wiz: Like The Batter, who killed his son in cold blood to purify the world…

Everyone expect Zacharie all looked at Sans (To avoid confusion I'm gonna use his real name)

Sans noticed their stares "...What? I may be in his body and call myself that but I'm not evil for Pete's sake."

Boomstick: ...and Super Perfect Cell, who uses his children in combat as soldiers….

"Super Perfect? This should be really interesting like Luna said." Celestia mused.

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills, to find out who would win a Death Battle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Batter


Wiz: The Batter is a vey strange and mysterious man of few words. However, when he does speak, he acts blunt, straightforward, never really hiding his true intentions.

Boomstick: Yeah, he’s very one note when it comes to his goal. And his goal is to purify the world. He will flat out ignore pure beings, going on the most direct path to kicking impure spirits ass.

"Interesting so he'll spare innocents?" Twilight, Starlight, and Sunset all asks to nobody in particular

Wiz: That’s right, The Batter also has no qualms with killing innocent people who may get caught in the crossfire of his mission, or killing innocent or good people who get in his way or become ‘Impure,’ which has a wide girth in definition. Basically, anything the plot deems The Batter must kill is impure.

"Hell yeah!" Luna and Rainbow cheered, already liking this guy as Sans smirked at their cheering.



Harold Bat
- Default Bat
- Attack Power: 5
Katsuhiro Bat
- Automatically applies the Plastic element to attacks
- Attack Power: 32
Ashley Bat
- Automatically applies the Meat and Metal element to attacks
- Attack Power: 21
- Basically hits twice for every attack
- Increases accuracy and critical hit chance
- The ultimate bat



Boomstick: His bats are actually confirmed by The Judge himself to be made of IRON. That's gonna do some serious damage to a guy.


Equipment
Neil Tunic
- Defense Bonus: 22
- Increases evasion
Aura of Power
- Defense Bonus: 59
The Secret Day
- Prevents poison, muted, and blindness status ailments



Wiz: Since both fighters are going to be functioning at top capacity, The Batter will have all of these items in abundance.



Fortune Ticket
- Restores 1000 HP
Golden Flesh
- Restores 100 CP
Joker
- Restores a dead character to life with 25% max HP
Belial's Meat
- Cures all negative status effects
Eye
- Analyses the characteristics of all enemies



Most of them agreed that is seemed fair.

Boomstick: Anyway his best weapon is the Ashley Bat, with a boost in attack by 21. It can also use the elements Metal and Meat.

Wiz: Which actually brings us to the elemental system in OFF. The elements are Metal is harvested from cows by cutting them open and taking it out of their carcasses. According to an Elsen, the humans of OFF, the nutrition of a cow corresponds with the quality of the metal. Poor quality metal is discarded, forming the soil beneath their feet; the rest is used to make objects like tools and weapons.

Boomstick: Meat, which they get from the meat fountains are located in Alma in Zone 1. It also can also somehow take a liquid form. So it must be bottled before the fountains overflow. It is also told to be the first and most important element because without it, there would be nothing to eat. Damn that must be hardcore for vegetarians.

"It must be Boomstick, it must be..." Celestia said as most of the group got sick stomachs at meat.

Wiz: Plastic administrations is found in Shachihata in Zone 1. Plastic is used to make objects and something analogous to water, as the bodies of water in OFF are plastic. It comes in two consistencies: liquid and solid. It is explained to be the first and most important element because without it, there would be no boundaries. Everyone would just continue to walk and walk. Which is absurdly and stupidly impossible if you ask me.

Boomstick: Smoke is the substance that is used to breathe by the ones occupying the zones. It's harvested from mines by mining the metal; capturing it and setting it free. It is usually bottled and sent to zones that don't have this element naturally. The extra smoke that escapes from the bottling process is released into Zone 1's air and creates it's atmosphere. This is explained to be the first and most important element because without it, no one could breathe. Huh, so does that mean that cigarettes are ok in OFF then?

Wiz: Don’t think about it too hard Boomstick. Anyway, onto the final element, Sugar is claimed to be a secret fifth element, this substance is given to the Elsen in Zone 3 as a reward for work. Not a true element at all, Sugar is actually an addictive drug created by Enoch, the guardian of Zone 3. It is made from the purified vapours of corpses that are burned. The sugar ovens of Vesper are the main source of sugar.When the Elsen of Vesper give their 'most important element' speech, they claim that without Sugar, people would go mad, unable to cope with reality.

Boomstick: That’s fucking dark if you ask me, and I’m me for Pete's sake.

"Ditto." Sunset and Celestia agreed. Fluttershy and Rarity fainted at the horrific origin of sugar.

"That's not sugar!" Pinkie shouted, her mane deflated.



Wiz: Anyway, all RPG characters have special moves that are far more powerful than their normal attacks. Techniques, spells, ultimate attacks. The Batter is really no different. In OFF, these special moves are called competences. Like most RPGs, each of these use varying amounts of energy, here called ‘CP,’ and have special effects. The Batter’s abilities mostly involve a strange blend of cleric and paladin, healing and hitting people with otherworldly baseballs, as well as speedblitzing his targets with elementally charged bat attacks.


'Wish I could use those.' Rainbow and Apple muttered as they thought of what their Competences would be.



Save First Base
- Restores some HP
Run with Courage
- Special attack of the element Metal
Furious Homerun
- Special attack of low impact
Save Second Base
- Restores a lot of HP
Run with Grace
- Special attack of the element Plastic
Special Homerun
- Special attack of mediocre impact
Save Third Base
- Restores all HP
- Costs notable amount of competence points
Run with Dementia
- Special attack of the element Smoke
Magic Homerun
- Special attack of important impact
Save Fourth Base
- Reanimates an ally
- Costs notable amount of competence points
Run with Belief
- Special attack of the element Meat
Save Secret Base
- Restores a lot of HP for the whole party
- Costs notable amount of competence points
Ultimate Homerun
- Special attack of cataclysmic impact
- Costs significant amount of competence points



Wiz: Now then unlike most RPG characters who have outside help, this oddly is and isn’t the case at the same time.

Boomstick: Yeah, his allies are his mighty Add-Ons, these three celestial bodies were recovered from around the zones by The Batter during his travel. They all have the exact same feats as The Batter himself, or pretty damn close.


"Interesting...." Twilight said as she took notes, Celestia mentally doing the same

Wiz: You could pretty much claim these are separate entities to The Batter himself, and should not be used in a Death Battle. However they are confirmed to have no personality, do not speak or ever appear at all out of combat except for when you find them, and they follow The Batter’s every command without question. So they are technically liable for a Death Battle as they are weapons rather than allies, even though they act like allies.

"So them varmints are an exception to the rule thanks to certain details." Applejack summed up





Perfect Symbol
- Attack Bonus: 40
- Increases evasion
Aura of Tenacity
- Defense Bonus: 25
Femur Epidermis
- Defense Bonus: 21
- Grants immunity to critical hits
The Eighth Colour
- Defense Bonus: 25
- Can’t be unequipped



Boomstick: Hey look they also have their own competences.

Rarity and Fluttershy we're getting back up after they fainted at how OFF characters makes Sugar




Alpha
Saturated Chain
- Special attack of low impact
Awaited Embrace
- Special attack inflicting Poison
Converted Chain
- Special attack of mediocre impact
Requisite Embrace
- Special attack inflicting Blindness
Long Chain
- Special attack of important impact
Open Embrace
- Special attack inflicting Muteness
Entire Chain
- Special attack of incredible impact
- Costs notable amount of competence points
Impossible Embrace
- Special attack inflicting Palsy

Omega
Inverse Perspective
- Cures Blindness and Muteness
Optimised Blur
- Attack of random impact
Overdone Perspective
-Cures Poison and Sleep
Photographic Blur
- Attack ignoring the adversary's defense
Frontal Perspective
- Cures Fury, Madness and Palsy
Gaussian Blur
- Attack decreasing the adversary's CP
Decupled Perspective
- Revives a person
- Costs notable amount of competence points
Radial Blur
- Attack decreasing the adversary's defense

Epsilon
Classic Drama
- Increases an ally's attack lightly
Surrealistic Tragedy
- Special attack of multiple, low impacts
Baroque Drama
- Increases an ally's defense lightly
Abstract Tragedy
- Special attack of multiple, mediocre impacts
Experienced Drama
- Increases an ally's intelligence lightly
Cubist Tragedy
- Special attack of multiple, important impacts
- Costs notable amount of competence points
Unrevokable Drama
- Increases an ally's agility lightly
Fauvestic Tragedy
- Special attack of multiple, incredible impacts- Costs notable amount of competence points



Wiz: Needless to say, the added bonus of three other characters all with the same power as The Batter himself is an’ extremely deadly and effective bonus.

Boomstick: This guy can’t seriously get any deadlier can’t he?

Wiz: Actually he can, let me introduce you to true power of The Batter.

Boomstick: HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?


"He's worse that me as Nightmare Moon!" Luna shouted as everyone agreed, Spike noticed he bared a small resemblance to Bad Batter. His next costume for Nightmare Night was going to be The Bad Batter.

Wiz: This is The Bad Batter. The true form of The Batter.





The Bad Batter
- A "transformation" of sorts
- Technically not a physical transformation so much as a change in perspective brought about by the player abandoning him and his quest
- Nonetheless, makes him far more beastly and savage in appearance
- Neither this nor his standard appearance are stated to be his true form, so in theory he might be able to change back and forth between the two forms



Wiz: After being abandoned in the alternate ending of OFF, The Batter… Changes. He grows long claws, towers at many times his original height, and overall just becomes a weird baseball crocodile monster thing. While fans have speculated the true nature of this ‘Bad Batter,’ it was all up for speculation.

Boomstick: Until Mortis Ghost, the game’s creator, confirmed that this is just a change in perspective brought on by how The Batter is now seen as an enemy.

Wiz: And while it may not OFFICIALLY be a transformation, it does bring on a few changes in The Batter’s fighting style. His stats change, he recovers lost health and CP, and looses all three of his ring add-on’s. So in the right situation, this really could be a game changer.

Boomstick: Huh, still not as scary as Sonic 06.

"Hey!" Rainbow shouted at insulting her love.

Wiz: Like a lot of people on this show, he has abnormal strength, speed, durability, and intellect.



Strength
- Traded blows with the absolutely massive Enoch
- Successfully slew the powerful Queen (Celestia, Luna, and Twilight all shivered at that)
-Traded blows with Japhet, who used her raw power to make a tower that stretched all the way up into orbit
- Can push around metal boulders as large as himself with little difficulty
Speed/Agility
- Can navigate through and control his movement in the Nothingness, where everything travels at the speed of light (Rainbow was impressed by this)
Durability/Endurance
- Can take a variety of hits, physical, elemental, and magical, from the different zone bosses
- Went through the entire game without significant rest
- Is not slowed down at all by injury
- Took hits from LITERALLY everyone in his universe that had any sort of combat prowess or skill at all. All. Of. Them. Well, except the add-on’s I guess.
Intellect/Skills
- Intelligent and cunning, to an unknown degree (Twilight seemed both interested and scared of that)
- Didn't actually need the players help to solve any puzzles or navigate the zones. He just kind of… Took it anyway, for some reason. 
- Competent batter, combatant, and tactician
- Tired out Enoch by forcing him to chase after him, weakening the Boss so as to better combat him
- Probably a competent baseball player
Stealth
- Noted by an NPC to be unnaturally quiet (Fluttershy felt some relation to that fact.)
Willpower
- Unswervingly devoted to purifying the zones (Applejack was impressed by his determination)
Abnormal Physiology
- Is confirmed to be non-human
- Likely some sort of spiritual entity



Boomstick: This dude has used his talents and Add-Ons to kill the three guardians of the zones. Which is no small feat mind you.



Feats
-Solved numerous puzzles throughout the zones
-Has battled and defeated innumerable impures
--Including the three zone guardians Dedan, Japhet, and Enoch
-Acquired the three ring Add-Ons
-Defeated his wife, The Queen
--Who with her existence sustained all of the zones with her lifeforce
-Ultimately purified all of the zones



"He's a KING!?" Twilight shouted and everyone except Sans looked at her

"What? Where does it say king?" Rainbow asked

"It said he slayed his wife, THE QUEEN!" Twilight answered.

This widened a few eyes as they realized what that meant. He was a king who killed his subjects. They now had a newfound respect for him. 



Wiz: Despite these feats and skills, he’s not perfect. While The Batter might have very powerful techniques capable of dealing many times over his normal damage, he has a limited pool to draw from before getting worn out and having to restore it. It is a very big pool, mind you, but it’s still there.

Boomstick: And while apparently he didn’t need to have the player’s help on his journey, he does prefer to let the player make choices for him.

Wiz: That’s not to say that he can’t make decisions for himself. He does so several times during the game, although not frequently.

Boomstick: Like the time he ran away from the invincible third zone boss Enoch and refused to read a comic book because he thought it was fucking stupid.

"That is smart to run from the invincible" Sunset said

"...Stupid Tubba Blubba...." Sans muttered remembering one time when he and his younger brother played Paper Mario, his younger brother choose to run. Sans however ran into the heat of battle without thinking things through.



-The Batter and his Add-Ons have a limited, albeit quite high, pool of Competence Points with which to use Competences
-Usually prefers that The Player make difficult decisions for him. Though he is capable of making his own choices, like when he ran away from the third zone boss, refused to read a comic book because it was ‘stupid,’




Wiz: The Batter posses a very large but limited amount of Competence Points and usually relies his Puppeteer, AKA The Player to guide him in battle and make difficult choices. Yet he is still sentient like Boomstick said earlier.

Boomstick: Still, this guy will strike out anyone who gets in the way of his 'sacred mission'.

Wiz: Yes Boomstick, The Batter has proven to be a dangerous opponent time and time again.

The Batter: I'm the one who's going to purify the world. And you're the pest that eats away at this land. Prepare yourself.

While they all agreed that The Batter had a devastating arsenal and good skills. They needed to see what this "Super Perfect Cell" guy was capable of first.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Super Perfect Cell


Wiz: Some say that true perfection is impossible, that nobody is perfect, everyone has flaws.

"And it is." Twilight said

Boomstick: Said people must never have seen Cell launch a Solar Kamehameha.

"Solar Kamehameha?" Celestia tilted her head at this.

Wiz: Created by doctor Gerou to be the perfect lifeform, Cell is a composite version of some of the greatest top dogs of the Dragon Ball Z universe.

Boomstick: That’s both the best parts of some of the weaker cast like Nappa, Krillin, Raditz, Tien, and yes, even Yamcha.

Wiz: And then, in a more massive margin, he’s made up of the top dogs of the DBZ universe. People like Piccolo, Vegeta, Frieza, Trunks, and yes, the ORIGINAL shonen protagonist...

Boomstick: Fucking GOKU!

Most of them had their jaws drop at the fact he beat Goku.

"Wonder how Superman would do?" Rainbow joked.

"...or your blue boy Sonic?" Spike added.

Rainbow gonna lift her journal then wondered how the blue blur would fare.


Feats: 
-In his Imperfect Form, he killed the all the inhabitants of several towns in order to power himself up.
-While in previously mentioned form, he was able to hold his ground against Krillin, and Super Namekian Piccolo, beating him in his second encounter.
-After absorbing 17, Semi Perfect Cell easily defeated Android #16, who beat Cell in his previous form.
-Managed to trick Vegeta into helping him reach his Perfect Form. (This raised a few eyebrows)
-In his Perfect Form, Cell defeated Vegeta as a 2nd grade Super Saiyan, Trunks as a 3rd Grade Super Saiyan, and held his own against a Full Powered Super Saiyan Goku. (This interested most of them)
-Even after blowing himself up with enough force to destroy the Earth, Cell manages to reform himself, stronger than ever.
-In hell, he made an uprising against King Yenma's men, along side the other villains.
-Has killed Future Trunks in two separate timelines (Twilight was about to call blasphemy at this)




Wiz: Although this ability was technically taken from Piccolo, his Regeneration ability has gone far beyond that. As long as a small part of one of his cells remains intact, he can come back from death even stronger than before, making him very difficult to kill.

This once again dropped jaws from the mane six and princesses. Sunset and Twilight's eyes twitched.

"Piccolo?" Fluttershy asked as she wondered what this Piccolo was like.

Boomstick: Sadly, Cell loses his tail in his final form, meaning that this ability won’t be making an appearance in the fight unless Cell gets reverted back to one of his imperfect forms. This baby uses stinger on tail to pierce his victim's body and suck all their body's biomass, which heals him. Or he can use it to swallow a person whole and literally suck them into him, adding their power to his. But both are very slow, leaving Cell vulnerable.

Wiz: He can alter his body and turn himself into a suicide bomb with enough power to blow a planet in one minute and will only use as last resort. He also can increase his muscle mass, making him more powerful, at the cost of speed.

"Those two moves are very interesting." Luna said.



Cell Juniors 
-Are reproduced asexually by Cell
-Though weaker by comparison, they have most of Cell's abilities
-Similar to Namekian's  reproduction system 

Zenkai
-Genetic trait taken from Saiyan blood cells
- Increases his power greatly if he survives a near death injury

Ki Manipulation
-Can control energy from within his body, and mold it to suit his needs.
-Said uses include hypersonic flight, telekinesis, teleportation, blasts of energy, and energy fields



"Interesting, I think we have some spells that are like Zenkai and Ki Manipulations" Celestia said wondering if they really did.

"Cell Juniors sound like how Changelings reproduce." Twilight said and everyone, even Sans, widened their eyes and looked at her. "What?"

Boomstick: His children Cell Juniors are weaker, than Cell and posses almost all of his abilities. Keyword ALMOST.

Wiz: He also posses Zenkai from Saiyan blood, which increases his power if he survives a near death injury.

Boomstick: Finally he uses Ki Manipulation to control energy into ways that put him in better position.



Solar Flare
-Emits a bright flash of light wen used, which can temporarily blinded anyone who looks at it, except the user of it.
-Can be blocked if the enemy has sunglasses on or closes his eyes before the attack

Kaioken
-Cell never used it, but he should be able to in theory
-Can multiply the user’s power level many times over
-Takes up an extremely large amount of energy to use

Special Beam Cannon ( or rather Makankōsappō)
-Taken from Piccolo 
-A projectile with speed depending on how much the user wishes to charge it
-Drills through whatever it touches, or in some cases, blow them to bits.

Death Saucer 
- Upgraded fork of Krillin's Destructo Disk and taken from Frieza 
-Disk of energy that can cut through anything
-Can be controlled by the user to move to his/her will. 

Death Beam 
-Taken from Frieza 
-Fires a beam which can move at great speeds
-Can be fired in rapid succession 
-Full powered variation can cover more range and deal more damage 

Instant Transmission
-Copied from Goku
-Warps user instantaneously to a source we it energy signature
-Requires concentration  

Kamehameha 
-Taken from Goku
-Fires a wave of energy from the palms of Cell's hands
-Can range from mountain to planet busting proportions 

Spirit Bomb 
-Taken from Goku
- Takes the energy from sentient beings
- Effective against those of evil hearts
- Despite his evil nature, Cell has stated he can use it.

Solar Kamehameha 
- Cell’s most powerful attack
- Cell stated it could destroy the solar system





"Why do I picture 4 Cells in two-piece suits of maroon and purple with gold pinstripes, formal shoes, a navy blue shirt with cuffs and cuff links doing comical actions?"

"...Heh TeamFourStar be proud."

Wiz: Cell has taken the, well, cells of the Z Fighters, with it come their abilities. 

Boomstick: Like the Kamehameha, the Spirit Bomb, the Instant Transmission, and the Kaioken in theory all of which we're stolen from Goku.

"He stole GOKU'S Moves!?" Rarity shouted, knowing what those moves could do.

Wiz: He also stole the Frieza's spammable Death Beam and Death Saucer, a disk of energy that can cut through anything. He also has Piccolo's Special Beam Cannon, a beam that drills through whatever it touches.

Boomstick: However his most powerful attack is the Solar Kamehameha. According to DBZ websites and magazines, “Cell had been drunk in his power. to the frontiers of the full body Doctor Gero is aimed, myself and he are. Continue growing feel of Kamehameha, it had become a power of up to Earth only can also destroy the solar system rather than.” Making this capable of destroying the solar system. Which automatically makes Cell a totally badass.

Twilight and Celestia both looked like they did when they heard Superman's feats.

The Ponies shivered, that surely tops The Batter's Competences.

Boomstick: Cell is extremely powerful, but he does have some weaknesses.

Wiz: For instance, DBZ villains have two moods: Prideful/arrogant, and pure rage.

"So he has that cliché." Spike deadpained

Boomstick: Also, an extremely powerful hit can force Cell to cough up Android 17 and 18, causing him to revert back to his weaker forms.

Wiz: Not only that, but he works with a limited pool of kai energy, although quite large. Some fights last many episodes. It might not even come up in a fight at all if Cell can finish his opponent fast enough.

"So like The Batter with his limited Competence Points." Starlight said

Perfect Cell: [During the Kamehameha struggle between Gohan and Perfect Cell] This must be hard on you with all those wounds Gohan. I bet this makes them *burn*!

They weren't gonna root for Cell, but he beat Goku, who stood up to Superman. However, they all agreed he deserves respect for his powers and skills
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!!!!!

They paused to decided who to root for. The Batter had a fair amount of bats, armor, and strength in numbers. Cell however had multiple Cell Juniors and could destroy the solar system. Nearly everyone choose Cell, keyword ALMOST.

On Team Cell: Celestia, Rainbow, Sunset and Applejack

On Team Batter: Sans, Luna, Spike and Pinkie

Everyone else stayed neutral for this one

"Sucks to be you guys." Rainbow said knowing that The Batter couldn't possible stand up to the Solar Kamehameha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All at once, The Batter suddenly appeared from nothingness. He stood in a boundless and pure black empty dimension. Looking up from beneath his black baseball cap that obscured his eyes, he panned his head from right to left, observing the land around him. Yes, truly empty. Suddenly, a voice boomed loud and robotic from somewhere off in the darkness.

"You have been assigned to a being called 'The Batter'. The batter has an important mission, make sure it is accomplished. We will let you out in Zone 0. For more information, find the one called 'The Judge'".

Judging by his title, they imagined The Judge was powerful being.

The batter stood still as a statue as the nothingness began to change. It warped, transforming the deep blackness into greys and whites as zone one began to take physical form into Zone 0, where his adventure would begin. He would meet many new faces and journey across the surreal "Zones". He would fight many spirits, commit acts of justness and atrocity alike. In the end, he would be the one responsible for destroying it all.
____________________________________________________________________


King: Now, to make one subtle change. Just big enough to start the conflict...


____________________________________________________________________

But destiny had set a different path for him today.

The Batter felt a change in his gut. Something just wasn't quite right. Suddenly, the colors of the still forming Zone: 0 started to swirl chaotically and warp. It was as if someone had thrust a torch into a smokey forest in the middle of the night. This isn't suppose to happen, thought the Batter. The world began to take focus anew. Into a... City?

"Isn't that the same city Goku lives in?" Fluttershy asked

Yes, it was beginning to come into focus. Tall buildings stretched up into the clouds around him. They were disproportionate, some ending in enormous spheres. Many had lights on somewhere inside, implying that this city was heavily populated. He stood humbled by these Goliath structures on one of the many well-kept streets below. Park benches and trash cans were neatly placed in rows along the sidewalk with care. Everything had come fully into focus here now.

First, The Batter turned to check and make sure that... Yes, his three ring add on's were hovering behind, totally stationary in the sky. They would follow him without vocal order until something needed to be purified. He turned back to the city. Now that he could more clearly see the city block he had arrived in, he noticed something. Not that he had ever been in one before, but city blocks usually have a great number of people in them, do they not? There was no one, not even a car parked on the side of the road. No sign was there, in fact, of any entity, living or otherwise being here all day. It was as if it had been abandoned.

"Where is everyone?" Pinkie asked.

Not phased as much as you would expect by this discovery, The Batter set off down the street in search of "The Judge". Maybe he could shed more light on this subject, whoever he was. He turned a corner, ring add-on's now gliding around him in the most peculiar manner, and saw a crowd of people all gathered at the opposite end of the street, all viewing some sort of large television screen attached to the building some 100 feet up.

"Wish we could watch those huh Spike? ...Spike?" Rainbow whispered to said drake.

"...Wish we could be fight a TV." Spike said imagining him saving Rarity from TVs.

One man, who stood the farthest away from the rest, looked up and watched the screen in tense silence, just like the rest. He was dressed in his best business suit. He had never had any intention of actually going to his boring office job today, but he felt that he should wear it anyway.  After all, this was the fate of the world that he was witnessing here. He ought to look nice. What he saw on this screen now would be written in the history books for years to come. Well, if there were people left to write them after this. His attention was drawn away from the screen by a nagging feeling in the back of his head. That feeling that someone is watching you very attentively.

He spun around to see a man in his late 20's wearing a black baseball cap and white baseball uniform. In one hand, he clasped a blank white baseball bat, which matched his paper-white skin. He somehow managed to look at him while still tilting his head down towards the ground, causing his baseball cap to cast a somehow thick shadow over his eyes and face, even though it was a bright morning. Well, now he realized that clouds were beginning to form overhead. The man was to focused on the newcomers strange appearance and behavior to consider the fact of the rain clouds forming just as the batter arrived as somehow being connected, or the strange hovering rings behind him.

"Which one of you is The Judge?" Surprised by the stranger's sudden speech, the man stumbled on his words, blurting out a question instead of an answer.

"Who are... What..." 

"I am The Batter. Which one of you is The Judge?" The Batter repeated his question.

Sans smirked "Straightforward much dear Batter?"

"I... Who? The Judge? I don't know anyone by that name". The man replied, still slightly confused by this sudden appearance. Something occurred to The Batter. He may be used to strange things happening and roll with any situation, but he wasn't stupid, and he suspected somethings still wasn't right here. 

"I'm not in Zone: 0 then?" Before the man in the business suit could respond, another man, fat and bald, wearing an apron and an orange shirt and cargo pants cut into the conversation.

"Looks like the Cell Games brought all the crazies out of the wood works". He said in a harsh Brooklyn accent. 

"Cell Games?" Twilight asked.

Suddenly a note came out. It appeared to have been written in the font style "Comic Sans MS"

"What does it say Twilight?" Luna asked

"When Cell reached his Perfect form, he hosted the Cell Games for the fate of the Earth." Twilight read.

"You're not in any Zone. You're not on the Starship Enterprise, or in the middle ages either. Your in WEST CITY, ya hear?" The Batter's arrival had now caught the attention of most of the crowd, who looked back at the unusual Baseball Player in curiosity and more than a bit of uneasiness. They could all feel the otherness emanating off of him. In some part of them, they knew that he wasn't suppose to be here either. Something was just OFF about him.

This made The Batter silent. So his suspicions were correct; he wasn't where he was supposed to be. This was all very strange. He needed to get back to his mission as soon as possible, it was of the utmost importance. But as long as he couldn't get back to where he was suppose to be, he might as well find out more about where he was. Who knows, there might even be beings in need of purification here as well.

A shout rose from the crowd. 

"Look! Up there, on the screen!" A woman near the front of the crowd pointed up towards the giant flat screen attached to the building. Normally, the screen was made to display advertisements and public messages from the mayor, or to show some great unveiling  of a new shop or library. But today, it played something much more important. The Cell games.

[Stop Music]

"KA... ME... HA... ME... HAAAA!"

The man in the business suit was frantic.

"It's all coming to an end! We're doomed!" he shouted, and fell to his knees on the hard asphalt below him. The Batter pulled his gaze from the man, and set it instead on the screen above, his expression just as monotone and indifferent as the day he was spawned. There, he saw a showing of bright, flashing lights as two enormous lasers met in the sky, a thick as sky scrapers.

____________________________________________________________________


[Cell Games, episode "The Final Kamehameha"]


A flash of radiant energy erupted from the collision of these two titanic lasers of pure life force energy. Following the energy waves colliding was a shock wave that shot over the land, ripping mountains out of their place in the earth and throwing them. Stunned by the sheer magnitude of what they were seeing, various spiked-haired, green-skinned and bald Z fighters looked on at the fight in progress. Some lay on the ground, dead or depleted of all energy by their recent fight with the Cell Jr's, or by cell himself. All of them were scattered around, watching this fight. They had all been beaten, battered, and ashamed. In one way or another, they had all be defeated. But they hadn't lost hope.

On one side of the clashing energy beams was cell, both hands raised, virtually unharmed. A massive wave of blue energy was radiating from his side, Goku's signature Kamehameha. It had been stolen from the greatest defender of earth, and was now being used against his son, and if he succeeded, it would be used to destroy earth. It was ironic to the point of being a cruel, tasteless joke. On the other end was Goku's son, Gohan. His spiked golden hair stood straight up, rippling and waving about at the solar winds being created by the conflict at hand. One arm was broken, but the other was held up, fueling his golden beam. Visible to Gohan and Gohan only, standing behind him, was Goku, adding words of encouragement from the afterlife. Hallucination or not, Gohan couldn't tell. He was using every inch of his concentration on beating back the opposing laser threatening to destroy the planet he and his friends had fought to save all these years.

"What's the matter, Gohan? You already have all the power you need... Just bring it out!" Goku shouted, frustrated, but still  encouraging.

"IS GOKU DEAD!?" Most of them shouted.

"I can't... I can't keep this up... I just can't hack it dad, it's too much for me to handle, I'm just a kid! I haven't changed! Not... at all!" Gohan strained every muscle, pouring his entire life force into this blast. He was giving it literally everything. Soon, he would run out, and then...

____________________________________________________________________


Back to west city...

The people of west city had their eyes plastered to the screen. They drew every inch of their attention to the fight. To say the atmosphere was tense would be an understatement. The Batter didn't seem to notice.

"Who's that?" He asked. The fat bald man from before turned, drawn out of the fight yet again. He was more than a bit exasperated.

"Do you live under a rock or somethin'?" The batter blinked under his ball cap.

"No". The man make a rude sighing noise.

"You really don't know who he is? Cell? Y'know, big bad guy? Wants to blow up earth for kicks? Alien from outer space?"

"You mean specter". The Batter corrected.

"Wha? Oh, you're crazy. Shut up and let me watch the games. I think It's about to end."

"Well isn't that brute very rude." Rarity said

"Where can I find him?" The Batter asked.

"You want to find him? You're nuttier than a fruitcake!"

"If you won't tell me, I'll locate the specter on my own ". The Batter turned, and started running off at supersonic speeds, not looking back. He had the ability to sense impures, so this shouldn't be too hard. 

____________________________________________________________________


Neither opponent was letting up. This would go down as the greatest fight in the history of the planet earth, and it looked like Gohan was loosing. Badly. Goku wasn't about to give up on his son yet. He had seen what Gohan could do when he got angry, and he could beat this guy. He could beat cell.

"Will you stop attacking yourself! I don't know where you got it in your head where there's something wrong with you, because there's NOT! You have saved me and my friends lives so many times, and you're going to do it again... RIGHT. NOW!" The blast intensified, rippling with luminescent energy on all sides. The colliding blasts grew to the size of small mountains, carving an even bigger crater in the earth. Cell jeered at him from the other side of the blast.

"What on Earth are you mumbling about? Catching one last prayer before you die? Ha!" Maybe it was because he was so caught up gloating over his victory, or maybe it was because of the powerful energy dancing around him, or a combination of the two. Regardless of the reason, Cell was too busy to notice the energy of someone -or something- seeking up on him. Yes, he would win, he was sure of it. What could possibly stop him now? This planet had been fun, but like all good things, it would come to an end. It was time for this to be over. He readied himself to pump more kai into the blast, to overwhelm Gohan. This was it, the final-

As if on cue, a common household baseball made solid impact with the side of Cells face at lightning speeds, shattering the left side of his skull completely. Cells eyes bulged in surprise and pain for a moment, mouth slightly open. Then, he was lifted off his feet and flung like a flicked insect. He flew through the air, twisting and contorting for just a second, until he exploded into a mountain 600 feet away from where he had just been, launching rock and debris into the air. The laser he had just been fueling depleted almost immediately with no one left to power it, leaving Gohan's blast no force to act against. The laser shot into space, stretching past the moon, reaching mars before tapering out.

"..." Everyone who voted for Cell had their jaws comically on the ground.

[Stop Music]

Everything was suddenly very silent. The only sound was the sound was a soft patting sound every few seconds, as The Batter threw and caught a baseball in one hand as he waited for to cell to return from the pile of rubble. In the other hand, he held his trusty Auburn Bat which he had swung over his shoulder. 

Gohan stared in shock. What just happened? He was being fueled by adrenaline and determination, but now that that was gone, he was spent, totally out of juice. He had no idea of how little energy he actually had until now. He fell to his knees, still looking at this weird black and white baseball player and the three hovering white rings behind him. Along with millions of people watching the live broadcast, the other z fighters all had similar reactions, now staring in wide-eyed wonder. The silence was broken by a rumbling from the mountain. Pebbles lifted off the ground, and even some larger rocks began to levitate in the air.

Cell was just as shocked as the Z fighters were. As he came to under a 3 tun pile of earth and stone, he started to realize what had happened. He was about to win the fight. He had achieved his perfect form, defeated all the challengers in his way, and he was about to win. He was about to pump his kai into that blast, and wipe that little brat and the rest of the Z fighters, and the humans on earth for that matter, of the face of this planet. And just as victory was in clear sight, it had slipped through his fingers because some ass hat had got a cheap shot off on him when he wasn't paying attention to him. In the face. WITH A GOD DAMN BASEBALL. Was this... A joke? NO. THE ONE WHO DID THIS WILL NOT SURVIVE.

"Heck yeah!" Rainbow shouted. Cell was still alive and out of blood from The Batter.

The Z fighters attention was drawn from the black and white baseball player by a horrifying rising power from the shattered mountain behind them. The rumbling picked up, and a small earthquake rocked the earth. The Batter couldn't sense energy, but he could see the golden aura surrounding the mountain just fine, and he could guess what would happen next.

"Cell, evil ungodly tyrant, the last grain of sand has fallen from the hourglass of your existence. I am The Batter, prepare to face my judgement". The Batter readied his baseball bat, tensing his muscles and focusing on his baseball stance. And just like that, he stepped up to the plate. Cell erupted from the ground, showering the earth in huge chunks of rock and a pillar of dust as he sped up into the air. In either hand was a globe of luminescent golden energy fueled by anger and life force energy, his figure silhouetted against the radiant sun. His figure came into focus as an enormous black cloud swept across the sun.

"Note to self, use that on Nightmare Night if going out as The Bad Batter." Spike muttered to himself.

"I'LL RIP YOU TO MINCEMEAT! FINAL FLASH!"

Purification in progress...

FIGHT!

The add-on's parted just in time to dodge the gargantuan mountain-sized laser as it beamed directly for The Batter. Compared to the size of the Final Flash, he was just a speck. The black and white baseball player turned on his heels and began to run in the opposite direction, speeding off faster than the average human eye could see.
The wave of energy seemed to lock onto the batter, and every movement he made to outmaneuver the laser failed totally as The Batter sped across the continent with his bat held behind him in a back stance. The laser left a trail of destruction in it's wake, cities and towns annihilated in golden energy as the beam followed The Batter in hot pursuit. The Batter turned to one of his ring Add-On's beside him.

"Start flying towards the biggest mountain you can find. I'll follow". Sure enough, the hovering ring flew up into the sky, and soon afterwards, gained a sudden burst of speed and shot off forward, making a slight directional change. The Batter mimicked it's change of pace, shooting far out of the beams reach.

"Oh no you don't!" Cell pumped more of his life energy into the laser, and it shot of at blinding speeds, matching The Batter with gusto. The Batter ran up the mountain, followed closely by the laser. Although the Laser was big, the mountain was even bigger. But in no time at all, The Batter was quickly about to reach the peak, the mountain's snowy apex.

"Come on Cell." Pinkie cheered

"Hah! You fool! You'll have nowhere to run to now. Prepare to die!" Cell pumped even more kai into the Final Flash, and it reached light speeds behind the batter. Just as he did this, The Batter reached the tip of the mountain, and jumped hard. He flew half a mile into the air, and started to fall. Cell was not prepared for this. The golden beam tried to redirect itself again, but it was too late. It shot into the night sky, piercing the heavens as it flew trillions of miles off into deep space.

The Batter stretched his arms and legs away from his body, falling at terminal velocity towards the earth. When the ground was a few feats away, he stretched his hands out in front of him, landing into a handstand and flipped onto his feet. Without missing a beat, he ran forward at staggering speeds, bat held back and coiled to strike.

Attack > Competences > Run with Faith.

The Batter blitzes up to cell from hundreds of miles away, swinging down towards Cell's head. Taken by surprise, cell had just enough time to bring his hand up in a blocking stance. It's effort proved fruitless, as The Batter easily cleaved through Cell's green arm at its joint, sending green juices and exoskeleton shards flying. Seemingly unphased by the loss of his right arm, Cell used his good arm to land a chopping blow on The Batter's neck. His opponent now temporarily stunned, Cell regenerated his left arm with a sickening Fwick! and a spurt of green blood as a new limb flung into place. Cell crossed his arms on chest like someone being put to rest, except with his fingers held out straight and clamped together, and then swung them outwards, marking an X across the batter's torso and making him fly backwards. Cell teleported behind the airborne baseball player, slamming two clenched fists held together down over his head and ramming him hard into the earth below. Earth and rock erupted into the air with a painful-sounding crash. The battered baseball player lifted himself from the hole just in time to see Cell hovering in the air directly above, readying a Kamehameha wave.

"I thought you would have a bit more in you, Batter. Guess I was wro-" Cell was interrupted by a glowing white ring slicing into his midriff with a metallic Slish. The beam Cell had been charging disintegrated immediately. 

"Thanks, Alpha" The Batter thought, before jumping effortlessly out of the hole he crater.

Attack> Competences> Furious Home Run

The bat hit hard and painfully, crushing Cell's windpipe and sending him spinning sporadically towards the heavens, Alpha still stuck in his side. Cell folded his wings out, stopping himself in the air. He pulled Alpha out of his side and flung him at The Batter, who strafed to the side, letting Alpha become embedded harmlessly in the ground. He looked up to see a hail of golden energy blasts coming directly for him, each no bigger than a dagger. The Batter fell back to the ground, and started to do backflips, frontflips and dodge rolls to avoid each individual kai blast. He was doing well, but he couldn't keep going forever. The Batter flipped to his feet, threw his bat into the air, followed by thousands of baseballs pulled from hammer space. Just as the baseballs were about to start falling, he caught the bat. And then, time… Slowed. 

In movement faster than the human eye can see, he began to hit each individual baseball into the air, knocking each individual kai blast out of the air like clay pigeons. With each collision, there was a Bang! as the baseball exploded and incinerated to dust as it absorbed the energy of the kai laser. As the rain of tiny kai blasts began to let up, the batter slammed to bat into… Nothing. He was out of baseballs! Curses! He looked up into the sky to see there was only one cluster of lasers coming for him. What he didn't see was that Cell was holding his forefinger of one hand to his head, emanating a chaotic energy…

Applejack smirked "Batter's screwed."

The Batter dropped his bat, and pulled one more baseball out of hyperspace. 

Attack > Competences > Special Homerun

The Batter leapt off the ground, hitting the baseball with a side kick smothered in thick, black smoke and sending it flying towards the final cluster. He landed on one hand, grabbed his bat, a flipped to his feet. Back in the sky, a pixelated white target sign locked on to the golden barrage of needles. The baseball slammed into them, cutting a hole through the lasers and at the same time totally incinerating them. By the time it was out the other end and hurtling towards cell, they were no more. Cell turned himself sideways and looked right at The Batter, holding up one finger to point at him in one fluid motion, easily dodging the ball. Something shot from his finger:

SPECIAL BEAM CANNON! A slender drill-like laser of red kai flashed towards the white clad baseball player. The Batter tipped his hat down.

Attack > Competences > Magic Homerun

Thwick! Striking out with his trusted baseball bat, he hit the drill beam, resulting in a massive shokewave exposion as these two faster-then-light objects met. With one tense motion, he deflecting it harmlessly into the night sky with a burst of sparks. The beam drilled far into the sky, passed the cloud barrier, and out of sight. 

"WHAT!?" Twilight shouted, they said the Special Beam Cannon could destroy anything.

Cell lowered himself from the sky, hovering several feet above the ground with his arms crossed and feet held apart.

“Well, Batter, it appears as if I have underestimated you”. The batter lifted his arm, slowly raising on hand in the air and flicked his wrist in a militaristic-looking hand signal. His ring add-on’s zoomed in from all directions and fell into formation behind him.

"Guess so”. He said. 

“Well, by now I think you’re probably tired of me. So why not try meeting my children?” Cell shouted in an almost mocking voice, as if he knew he had already won, and was just toying with him. The Batter had only seconds to ponder what this meant before they starting appearing.
Little purple versions of cell, snickering and whispering to one another, all with that annoying smirk on their faces and wide eyes. They blinked into appearance, creeping in like a pack of hungry animals creeping towards their wounded prey. But The Batter wasn't wounded, nor was he their prey.
One Cell Jr lunged for the batter. He stepped back, dodging his attack and slamming his bat into the Cell Jrs face. Two more began to run towards him while one flew up into the sky and began to charge an energy attack. 

“Alpha, above!” the batter shouted, as he cleaved through the two Cell Jrs with a single swing of his bat. The Cell Jr jiggled and prepared to launch his Kamehameha when…

Attack > Competences > Long Chain

A silver chain of iridescent light from a cut in reality at the center of Alpha’s ring. It snagged itself onto Cell Jr and pulled the little bastard screaming into the ring, vanishing out of sight as his head disappeared and the rip sealed itself. Alpha let out a low screeching of notes similar to a modem dial up and launched itself towards a nearby Cell Jr, stabbing itself into the poor things chest over and over again before moving on. All around, the ring Add-Ons were fighting the Cell Jrs, The Batter never too far behind. But they just kept coming.

The Batter ducked under an energy beam and tripped a nearby Cell Jr running at him before grabbing its crowned head and slamming it’s head into the rocky ground. More came from all sides, prompting The Batter to slam the ground below him and causing a quake of earth to fly up from him, flinging the Cell Jrs into the air. Just then, a shot of energy from the actual cell shot across the ground, catching The Batter by surprise. The Batter limbo’d below the laser, blowing his baseball cap off his head. Time seemed to slow. Several Cell Jr’s were gasped in shock, and then confusion. 

Many of the ponies soon joined in the reaction once they saw it as well.

Although the baseball cap was now gone, there was something very unusual about The Batter’s revealed face. The Cell Jr’s looked on, there jaws dropped. Even in the blinding illumination of the laser passing over his head, even without his hat, even he had his head pointed DIRECTLY UPWARDS TOWARDS THE SKY… The Batter’s face was still totally obscured by shadow. Time rocketed forward to normal speeds, and just as the laser was dodged, The Batter fell back into a handstand and pushed himself into the air, landing on his feet. He turned, and saw his hat in the air. Before he could grab it out of the air, one of the Cell Jrs that wasn’t stunned grabbed his hat out of the air and started flying away. Batter didn’t lose a beat. He took off, blitzing through the crowd of Cell Jr’s towards the hat thief.

"H-how is that even BUCKING POSISIBLE!?" Starlight shouted.

“Don’t just stand there gawking! Get him!” shouted the actual Cell, and took off after The Batter encased in Kai energy. Now, a huge crowd of figured was running behind three figures flashing towards each other in a line. The Batter jumped and ran, dodging golden energy bullets from both ends, flinging his bat out to deflect a kai attack every second or so. The Cell Jr clutching the cap looked back, worried. The Batter was right behind him now, with the same stone cold, unmoving facial expression as always. The Cell Jr looked forward, surprised to see one of Batter’s ring add-on’s in his way. Unable to stop himself in time, Cell Jr ran into it full force and was terrified to find himself snared in the floating entity. He struggled, but before he could free himself, he was pulled free by the stern grip of The Batter. He held the little thing upside down, and stared into it’s eyes as he yanked his hat back and placed it on his head. The Cell Jr struggled against The Batter’s grip on his leg. 

“Let me go!” He yelled. The Batter was happy to oblige. 

Attack > Competences > Magic Homerun 

The Batter let go of the little demon, and in one fluid motion brought his bat into it in a colossal strike that sent him zooming towards Perfect Cell at impossible speeds. Cell dodged out of the way and flew right into Batter’s face, who blocked his knee-up strike by lifting his bat. The Batter took a step back, and coiled his muscles to strike out at Cell. But instead of connecting with soft, insect rib cage, the strike passed right through. Cell was gone. Batter has half a second to ponder this before Cell punched Batter square in the back. Bones cracked. Before he knew what was happening, The Batter shattered two mountains with his ragdolling body as he careened through the air. The Batter lifted himself in a haze to see he was stuck in a crater  inside of yet another mountain. Cell hadn't arrived, but Batter could sense an impure spirit headed his way.

Attack > Competences > Save second base 

Attack > Items > Golden flesh

A wave of fatigue and injury were swept away like a bad dream. Feeling fully renewed, The Batter looked around for any of his ring add-on’s had followed him. One had, but not in the way he would have liked. One of his ring add-on’s was lying next to him, snapped in half. The Batter realized the add-on must have been caught in his path when he was sent flying. Quick as candlelight, The Batter pulled a silver card engraved with the shimmering persona of a classic jester.

Attack > Items > Joker Card

"There's no way that will work." Twilight said

The Joker Card glowed luminescent gold for a second, growing bright as the sun before burning to dust in the wind as The Batter pointed the card at the downed add-on. The ring shot back together, the scratched on it’s surface repaired. It picked up off the ground and began to hover in the sky once more.

"Sorry Queen Nerd, but I'm gonna flip off all your logic and revived the dead." Sans joked, mocking Twilight in the process.

“Epsilon, help me out!” Epsilon made an electronic beeping sound. 

Attack > Competences > Classic Drama

The Batter felt the power of the competence course through his veins, raising his attack. He needed to do something… REALLY DRAMATIC.

"Like really dramatic or Rarity dramatic?" Applejack joked.

"Hey!" Rarity said

Cell was finally gaining the upper hand, just as he was supposed to. He flew through the sky, searching for The Batter. He would finish him off, now! There was the mountain he crashed into, but where is… Wait… Is that mountain… Moving?

The Batter jumped, the mountain in his hand. Cell watched it happening.

Twilight, Celestia Sunset, and Starlight all looked like they were about to faint at this finger to logic once again. 

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” The Batter suplexed the half destroyed mountain, slamming it down with both hands. The mountain dropped like, well, a mountain on top of Cell as he fell to the ground. Under 20 billion tons of rock, Cell lifted the mountain above his head, putting his back into it. 

“I WILL NOT LOSE THIS WAY!” Cell pulled in a ripping motion with both hands, muscles rippling, and the mountain exploded. Not missing a beat, Cell flew at The Batter, who readied his stance for a fight.

Chunks of rock and shrapnel rained down from the sky. The Batter fell out of the air, bat held back for a strike, and shouted out a battle cry. Cell noticed his opponents wounds were healed now, probably by his own regeneration methods. Cell went into a style pose and let the fire in his eyes burn bright.

"He must be really really pissed, right Dashie?" Pinkie said to said mare.

"Buck yeah he is!" Rainbow shouted

They rammed into each other with the force of a thousand tornadoes, erupting the ground around them. The Batter threw punched and struck out fueled by his faith, while Perfect Cell jabbed and kicked with a certain discipline and skill, all stolen from the best martial artists in universe. Thunder struck in the background as this duo traded earth rocking blows. Rain began to pour down on the two interlocked fighters, but neither seemed to notice.

“DIE!” Cell threw a half hearted fist to bluff a punch, but instead pointed his finger towards Batter, firing off a red beam projectile. The Batter hit the death beam back at cell from close range with his bat. Cell ducked, letting the attack fly over his head. Behind him, the laser shot through Alpha, Batter’s ring add on, and deflected backwards. Cell sensed the energy of the attack just in time, moving his head slightly to one side and letting the beam fly back at Batter.

    “KAIOKEN!” Cell shouted. A red aura folded around him, and he smiled. Cell ducked and weaved, dodging both his own laser beam and The Batter’s aluminum baseball bat.

“It’s useless!” Cell punched towards an opening in The Batter’s defences, landing a solid hit. The Batter stumbled back, but still managed to continue the Dead Man’s volley on the death beam.

“Alpha!” The Batter yelled in a demanding voice. Alpha beeped back.

Attack > Competences > Entire Chain

A long, silver, glowing chain ejected from the center of Alpha’s being towards Cell’s left shoulder, this one bearing a nasty looking knife on its gleaming tip. Cell remembered what had happened when one of his Cell Jr’s had been hit by one of those chains.

   “KAIOKEN TIMES 2!” Cell continued to dodge and weave under and over the projectiles, far faster than before.

“Omega and Epsilon, you as well!”

Attack > Competences> Abstract Tragedy

Attack > Competences> Photographic Blur

 “KAIOKEN TIMES 4!” Cell lept from the ground, pushed of the entire chain, dodging under two other projectiles and did the splits, spinning on his hands, pushed with both hands, and threw himself into the air, spinning.

Attack > Competences> Magic Homerun

Attack > Competences> Impossible Embrace

Attack > Competences> Requisite Embrace

Attack > Competences> Radial Blur


“KAIOKEN…”
Cell pushed the boundary of his own physical body, moving like a mad dancer on hot coals.

What Cell was doing was giving Sans Goosebumps.

"B-Batter's gonna lose...?" Sans asked.

Attack > Competences> Cubist Tragedy

Attack > Competences> Experienced Drama

Attack > Competences> Cubist Tragedy

Attack > Competences> Long Chain

Attack > Competences> Gaussian Blur

  "TIMES…”
The Batter felt himself being pushed back by the force of the dozens of lasers, baseballs, abstract blobs and books of poetry he was deflecting back at his add on’s. The ground under his feet began to peel back, and The Batter pushed himself even harder, his hand motions became a blur. Both their movements were growing to fast to track.

Rainbow was impressed and wanted to move just as fast.

Attack > Competences> Magic Homerun

Attack > Competences> Impossible Embrace

Attack > Competences> Long Chain

Attack > Competences> Gaussian Blur

Attack > Competences> Photographic Blur

Attack > Competences> Requisite Embrace

Attack > Competences> Radial Blur

 “TIMES 40!!!!” 

Cell screamed. The Batter screamed. Perfect Cell began to spin like a top, knocking 5 lasers out of the sky with his outstretched arms. He lept into the air, and in one instant he began to karate chop and kick furiously at projectiles. Landing again, he began to spin once more, standing in space. Lasers ricochet every way imaginable, and Cell’s top tettered from side to side as it bore into the earth. In an instant, he was no longer a top, but instead leaping at The Batter, an enormous Kamehameha charged in his hand.

“DIE!!! SOLAR KAMEHAMEHA!” Cell slammed the blast into Batter’s face, shattering his skull with the punch alone. The blast shot in a building sized sylander or pure blue energy. The Batter was lifted from his feet and dragged across the night sky. The Batter was carried through the searing blast that threatened to peel away at his very existence. There was one final explosion of white hot, blinding energy. The Batter screamed again, and contorted as the laser climaxed.

"He's dead." Rainbow called, knowing there was  no way he could live.

Pain. Thunder. Rain pattered down on The Batter’s form, kneeling in a mile-wide crater somewhere, several hundred miles away. He looked down at his burned hand, half the flesh melted off. He couldn't go on anymore. He was going to lose. He looked up. None of his ring Add-on’s were here. He couldn't think strait. How could the player let this happen to him? His mission was sacred. He couldn't fail. He reached out to the player for guidance. Nothing happened. The Batter stared up at the sky in shock. Had the player… abandoned him? No… He was never there to begin with. The Batter had just found out about the no help rule of Death Battle, the hard way. The Batter screamed to the sky, and began to change.

"Man that feller's both doomed without his puppeteer's guidance huh?" Applejack asked everyone on Team Cell

"Yeah" they said.

The Batter’s anguished screams traveled to the ears of Cell. He was still alive? Damn, he was certainly a persistent one. Cell needed to get to him before the idiot started to heal himself. That last blast had left him nearly drained of energy. He shot off into the storm, looking to finish the fight once and for all. It didn’t take him long. Several seconds later, something charged at him out of the storm with it's claws bared. 

What in the world… Is that THING? A monstrous, contorted demon resembling the batter in clothing alone danced from the foggy night, blitzing forward, his sharp toothed crocodile mouth and baseball bat ready flung forward to strike. Cell dodged backwards, and landing 30 feet away, stance at the ready. The thing stood 10 feet tall, spine contorted and mouth gaping almost as wide as it’s white, blank fish eyes. It made a choking, hissing noise. Behind him, Cell could see The Batter’s ring Add-On’s melting to slag. This wasn’t a transformation, it was what The Batter really looks like. His disguise is broken.. Thought Cell, although he didn't exactly know how he knew.

“F̧͈̩̬͍͈͈̥R͇̭ͪ̽ͤ͐͌͊͝O̙̖͉̩̱͈͗ͣ̓͟M̼͐͌ͯ͂ͪ͊ͬ ̨̖̟̼͚̫͂̅ͪͬ̚N͓̗̺̟̂̿ͫ͗OW O̫̳̙̲͔̱͖̓ͧ̐̑́N̨̺̹̞͉̩͙̤̓.̖̳͎̯̟́.̸̭̅. T̲͈̮̙̹͓̭͌̓̇ͥ̽̑͟H̯̯͚̪͍̅̾È͙͐ͥR͙̝̰͕͈̆̆ͮ͝E̩̳̰̜ͯͭͫ͆̚ ̹̾̒̓W͚̽̔͛͗̔Ĩ̳̼ͭL̐̾L̴̽̿̐ BE͍̾͊̑̑̒ ̵̦̥͈̬͑N͉̳̩̟̓̏̅͛͢Ợ͚̥̫̪͇̌  ̜̰͔̱̗̼̏ͥ̅Dͭ͡ARK̮̼̖͙͚̤̠̈́ͧͪ̉N͙̠̓̃̅ͩ̎E̘̰̎ͪ̈́̈S̾̽͑̐ͯ̾S̾̽͑̐ͯ. Cell covered his ears against the cacophony of screeching notes that was this things voice. It drained on his very sanity. That is the moment that Bad Batter took to strike.

"HOLY ME THAT IS SCARY!" Celestia shouted as she cursed herself

One clawed fist slammed into Cell's torso, sending him flying backwards. The Batter blitzed all around Cell as he flew across the terrain, making hitting Cell with thousands of bat swings and slashed forward, teleporting around Cell as he flew through the air. Bad Batter's lanky finally lashed out, grabbing Cell's arm and slammed Cell into the ground over and over again. To finish off (heh) his combo, Bad Batter jumped into the air, divekicking Cell's crumpled form into a hole in the ground. The Batter didn't let up. Using his bat, he made a flurry of baseball strikes towards the stunned form of Cell, carving a path into the deeper and deeper into the ground. After he was satisfied, The Bad Batter jumped out of the hole and stood there. Purification successful.

"No..." Those who we're actually fans of Cell said

(Stop music)

Suddenly, Cell jumped out of the hole in the ground, his wounds healed, a long green scorpion-like tail held above his head.
SUCCESSFUL MY ASS!

"YES!" Those who were actually fans of Cell cheered

(Continue music)

The needle at the end of Cell's tail stabbed hard into The Batter's shoulder, sinking painfully into his pail flesh. Batter tried to look up, but he couldn't move a muscle. Before he began to suck The Batter's life energy out of him, Cell figured he would gloat first. 
"All that talk about purification while you were walking around, an even bigger monster then myself."
The Batter struggled with all his will against the paralysis of the needle now impeded in his arm. If he could just...
"I can see the look in your eyes. Blood lust. I'm very familiar with it myself. Behind that heroic phasad, you're just like me. You don't really care about help people, or saving the world. All you care about it destruction."
The Batter reached one shaky hand into his pants pocket, clasping feebly around several slender objects.
"But I'm sorry to tell you that you won't get to kill anyone else. You see, this planet is only big enough for one killing machine. And that one is me.
The Batter lifted the joker cards out of his pocket and pointed them at the three ring add-on's laying melted on the ground not 10 feet away. The cards burst into flame and disintegrated as their power was passed through the air towards the rings.
"It's about time you learn the true meaning of PERFECT-"
Now imagine how surprised Cell, who was too busy gloating to see Cell resurrect his Add-On's, was when Alpha sliced into his neck and chin, knocking his head back and breaking his neck. Cell toppled backwards, flying over the hole and hitting the ground hard. He ripped Alpha out of his chin just in time for the other two add-on's to begin diving and weaving at him, striking him again and again as he flailed uselessly like a man being attacked by a swarm of angry bees. Suddenly, the ring add-on's flew away from him in all directions. Cell looked up to see Bad Batter running at him full force.

"Man he's really arrogant isn't he?" Sans said to Team Cell


Attack > Competences> Run with Belief

It was on top of him in an instant. It bit down on his arm, hard, rending the limb from his body. Cell shouted and stumbled back, clustering a great deal of ki into a ball of energy and throwing it at the horrifying creature. Bad Batter simply dematerialized for a second with speed, allowing the bullet to pass through him, and reappeared in the same place again. It reached out with one gangly arm, razor sharp claws tearing a swath across Cell’s torso and toppling him to the ground. It dropped it’s bat, and fell onto the helpless Cell as it began to tear him to pieces and devour him.

"He's gonna die." Team Cell cheered

One sharp claw flew across Cell’s torso and brought out his small intestines. The Batter reached out and grabbed the organ and gobbled it down. Opening his mouth once more, he chomped down on Cell’s torso. shaking him, sending green blood flying every which direction. Cell screamed in agony, sending Bad Batter into a frenzy. He began to claw at his limbs, tearing his other arm off and sending it flying to 5 feet away, leaving a trail of green blood through the air. Finally, Bad Batter held both claws on either side of Cell’s torso, cross crossed onto either shoulder. He shot his maw out and clasped Cell’s head, goring it from his body and throwing it away from him. He began to eat the torso then, boring his fangs in, and ripping clean more gore and blood. He gorged on the torso as the rain poured down harder than ever.

(Stop Music)

Having his fill, The Batter reached his now human hand down and picked up his baseball bat and began to walk away. He didn’t realize that he had left the head of Perfect Cell intact, or what that meant. He looked up out of the clearing his was now in to see the army of Cell Jr’s looking down at him in horror, seeing the mutilated remains of their father and the green blood running down The Batter’s chin. The Batter tipped his hat at them, one red eye gleamed from beneath the shadows. He grinned at them. Each and every Cell Jr turned and began to run away, flying full force. The Batter began to walk after them. He could take his time. They were slow, and he had all the time in the world.

"Where's the KO?" Pinkie asked

One minute later, Perfect Cell stood up, fully regenerated from the head. Even though he was back to near full physical health, he was drained, and he somehow KNEW that… THING was coming back for him, and soon. He racked his brain for what trump cards he might have that could help him now.

And then, a lightbulb dinged in his head.

Cell flew fifty feet into the air and held both hands up towards the sky, and prepared to charge the soul bomb. He needed to gather energy from somewhere. Hmmm… The earth would do just fine. If he was right then mother Earth herself felt that this otherworldly stranger didn’t belong in this dimension, and she would help him out.

Twilight looked at Sans and opened her mouth to ask him something.

"Try that on me and I will lock you in a room with no books." Sans said in a serious tone.

If looks could kill, Twilight will already be halfway to the afterlife.

“Alright, give it everything you've got!” Blue energy began to charge over his head into a azure ball of pure good energy. It grew…

The Batter got up from the last Cell Jr’s corpse he had just finished beating to death and looked at the carnage. All done, purification successful. He turned to walk back and… What in creation? A gigantic ball of energy the size of a small town was hovering in the air. Cell began to walk towards it to see what the hell was going on.

As The Batter arrived, the earth gave the last bit of energy it could spare, and the soul bomb reached a towering size. The Batter looked up at the massive entity. with a blank look on his face.
“Well, It’s been fun, Batter, but It’s finally time for you to meet your maker. You see, you might have had a chance fighting me before, but that opportunity has long gone. You see, once I am badly beaten or reduced to near death, I gain a massive boost in power. Frankly, you might as well give up now.” Cell didn't say anything about how he was almost totally reduced of all his energy, but what The Batter didn't know would hopefully hurt him.

"This... is... OVER!!!" Rainbow, Pinkie, and Spike cheered.

The Batter didn't say anything. He stood there, with the same blank expression on his face, bat slung over his shoulder, watching Cell intently.

Cell looked down, his face suddenly contorting in rage.

"Didn't you hear me, you insufferable fool? You're going to DIE! Do you really have nothing to say about it? Are you just going to stand there and wait for death?"

"No." Cell looked down, even more rage on his face.

"No?! Then DO SOMETHING! SAY SOMETHING! SHOW SOME EMOTION! YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID, YOUR ABOUT TO DIE!"

"I won't act afraid because I'm not afraid." Cell wasn't happy. 

"Well he seems to be much for conversation." Starlight said sarcastically

"DIE WITH THIS PATHETIC PLANET, YOU EMOTIONALLY INEPT BUFFOON!" Cell thrust his hands from above his head directly towards The Batter.

The Batter took a stance similar to most baseball players and pulled out the Harold Bat.

The Soul bomb set off towards The Batter, screeching through the air. The shear size of the thing made it seem almost slow.

It began to loom over the batter, gaining speed

The batter pulled his hat down father over his head, calculating distance and speed.

Cell poured more energy into it...

The batter tensed...

-And struck!

The Harold Bat collided with the Soul Bomb at miraculous speeds. The Batter struggled against the force excreted by the luminescent ball of blue energy. He felt his skin begin to burn as he felt the radiating power of the soul bomb singing everything around it. It was strong... But not strong enough.

The Harold Bat stretched and bent as The Batter exerted more force on the soul bomb. Just a little... SNAP! Stuck between a rock and hard place, the Harold Bat shattered in two pieces. The Soul Bomb gained ground for just a second as The Batter pulled the even stronger Masashi Bat and struck at the Soul Bomb. Another explosion resignated, raizing the earth up out of it's shell in a shock wave pattern.
"I'm not afraid because I have a cause, and you might not believe me when I say it is just, but it is more then you have."
SNAP! The Masashi Bat snapped at the handle and was engulfed in the infinite ancient energy of the earth. The Batter whipped out the Emmanuel Bat, much quicker this time, and smashed it into the soul bomb once more.
"I'm not afraid because there's victory in death, even if I die, I will have died for my cause".
Cell strained, a bead of sweat dripping down his face. "Nnnh... SHUT UP!" Cell surged more power into the soul bomb, forcing it forward. SNAP! The Masashi bat splintered, falling to the ground like a fallen knight. Quick as candlelight, the Michael Bat was drawn out and swung with fury.
"But most of all, I'm not afraid because I'm not going to die."
SNAP! Almost at the same time of the Michael Bat fell, The Batter pulled the Yoshihiro Bat out of hammer space.
"I've fought many for my cause, most stronger then you, and none of them scared me. I've killed my love ones, I've fought my equals, and every time none of them made me feel anything.
SNAP!

"YOU ARE NO EXCEPTION! I will not die for my cause, because it must be completed, and because you cannot stop me. I will purify the zones. You cannot slay me."
SNAP! With a final blow, the Ashley Bat, The Batter's most powerful weapon, was brought out and smashed against the soul bomb, skidding it backwards a few inches. Cell looked down at the this single figure, the one who had matched him, and even surpassed him, in every category up to now. The man- No, the THING- that had surpassed perfection, who stood not an inch away from the soul bomb, bat pressed against it. Yet he didn't flinch. He had no expression at all. 

"nO.. iT's noT... POssiBLE.. I AM THE pERFECT LIFEFORM..."
"Cell, guardian of this zone, impure spirit of perfection, you have been defeated. My judgement is completed."
Attack > Competences > Ultimate Homerun
A columb of black smoke, surrounded by a spiral of dripping plastic, swirling meat chunks and metal plating, all topped off by a glowing aura of sugar shot forth from the tip of the Auburn bat, shooting out for hundreds of feet. 
"This zone is now pure."

"No... fucking... way..." Rainbow said sadly at PERFECT Cell's failure.

The Batter flung the bat forward, launching the Soul Bomb with little effort out towards a cell who was drained of energy, out of trump cards, and at the end of the line. The tip of the Ultimate Home run sliced him easily in half as it passed by, and all he could do is watch as the Soul Bomb blitzed towards him. There was no time to teleport away, to use a technique, to anything. The soul bomb slammed into him, shooting off towards the sky. Cell's flesh burned, singed, sizzled, like he had been dropped in a giant deep fryer. He sunk deeper into the good energy like quicksand as it spiraled off in a direct path towards the sun. The Soul Bomb formed a speed barrier as it broke the atmosphere, now going even faster. The soul bomb blazed through deep space, now the speed of light, now twice the speed of light, three times. Cell was hauled along, knowing that soon he would be caught between the soul bomb and the sun. In that moment, as he was carried away, he died, shouting and curing the world, The Batter, and everything else at the top of his ability. He screamed. Or maybe it was only a whisper.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KO!

Boomstick: Damn, The Batter actually pulled it off.

Wiz: So first of all, what did Cell have that was superior to The Batter? Well first of all, people in DBZ have shown light speed or FTL reactions before so depending on your standpoint on DBZ, Cell could be faster, or at least as fast at The Batter. And admittedly, the genes of some of the smartest people on earth and the most skilled fighters in the universe who train non-stop to become the ultimate martial arts experts for sure tops 2 minutes of training from a cat you just met. He also had a wide verity of techniques that could be used in creative ways, but it didn't really matter much. There's a couple reasons. Boomstick, why don't you cover the whole regeneration thing.

"The Batter was trained by a cat?" Fluttershy asked.

"Said cat was actually The Judge." Sans explained

"So this powerful Judge is in actuality a small cuddly animal? Oddly not the strangest thing I've heard." Rainbow deadpanned, this made Cell feel even more pathetic.

"Yay." Fluttershy said.

Boomstick: Fine. While Cell has awesome, atomic level regeneration abilities, Cell took that power from Piccolo, who has died before from getting hit with a powerful enough attack. However, this is an' upgraded form of that ability, meaning that unless The Batter could destroy every cell in his body, he couldn't win. So this should be an instant win, yeah? Well... No, because surprisingly, The Batter's healing stuff is actually better. Now hear me out. The Batter has healing techniques that use competences, so he could be regenerating himself to full health just as much as cell could. This seems even at face value, especially when you think about how The Batter also uses a limited store of energy. But the thing is, The Batter could restore his energy with silver and golden flesh, meaning that he wouldn't run out of energy from fighting for too long. On top of that, if all else failed, he also had healing ITEMS to use if his energy and CP healing items ran out. And to top it all off the ring Add-Ons could use healing and CP restoring items on him at any point in the fight, meaning that he wouldn't have to stop and concentrate on it like Cell. And Cell's durability wasn't even that good, he was almost totally destroyed by a planet busting Kamehameha, relying on his regeneration to keep him intact. But the question is what about Cell's regeneration? The Batter can't do that, can he?

"Yeah that's right how can he?" Luna asked

Wiz: Joker cards. And remember, the ring add-on's can use items too, meaning that they all could resurrect The Batter if he died. But all of that is meaningless, because Cell has almost no way of harming The Batter. But the question is "how strong is The Batter?"

Boomstick: So for this, we'll see how much power it takes to destroy the zones.

"Seems fair enough." Celestia said with curiosity

Wiz: I calculated the amount of time it takes to get around The Nothingness in seconds. Remember, everything in The Nothingness happens at the speed of light, so multiply that by 299,792,458, and you have the meters length of each side these flower looking things that are The Zones. Some of the stuff in the middle was too inconsistent to use. Then, you use 850 as sea level, and you do some of this...

56960567 + 134906606 + 95933586 + 188869248 + 32977170 = 509647177
74948114 + 137904530 + 152894153 + 113921134 + 32977170 = 512645101
850 x 5 = 4250

Boomstick: Calculate the Area, and what do you get?

Wiz: 594212551.641 or 4.44x1018 km^3. To put that into perspective, The Sun is only 1.41x1018km3. That means that each swing from The Batter's bat was equal to about four sun busting attacks, three if we're being generous. And when you consider that a solar system is mostly made up by the sun, that means that every single basic attack The Batter makes is like getting hit with two of the solar kamehameha's that killed Cell at the end of Cell Saga, if we're being totally generous. And that's only if you don't consider the Auburn bat, witch hits twice for each attack, meaning it's really more like four Solar Kamehamehas with each attack. It's also not considering competences, witch make his attacks many more times more potent then normal. And then, there's the Add-Ons.

Twilight, Starlight, Sunset, and Celestia looked like they were on the verge of Insanity

Boomstick: Remember when we said that the ring Add-Ons share most of the same feats as The Batter? Well, this is no exception. They also fought the queen. And before you say that that makes it unbalanced, that the queen was fight a 4 on one match so The Batter isn't at least equal to The Queen, remember that The Queen had ring add-on's of her own, all about equal to her as well. 

Wiz: So let's do the math: One star to solar system buster at his peak versus four casual quadruple star busting/quadruple star durability fighters with almost equal speed. No amount of regeneration or creativity could save Cell in this fight.

Rainbow groaned at the facts.

Boomstick: I guess Cell, was struck out.

Many of them groaned at this, while Rainbow groaned at Cell's lose, while Pinkie (and Sans) giggled.

Wiz: The Winner is The Batter

(Stop Music)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Well that was fun." The Batter said.

The box glowed as their gifts came.

"Let me guess, there's something in there for us?" The Batter asked.

"H-how did you...?" Twilight began

"Just a hunch." Batter joked.

"What's in it Spike?" Rainbow asked

"Just some Manga for DBZ, some DBZ Cell shirts, some OFF The Batter Shirts...." Spike said looking through it. "Hey look a found 3 gifts, one for Me, one for Fluttershy, and one for you Rainbow." Spike said after a minute and handed them to said receivers.

Rainbow opened her gift and gasped. It was a costume that looked like Perfect Cell's Body and Head fitted for her. It even had holes for her wings.

Spike opened his and found a costume as well, except this was of The Bad Batter. His head was sadly still shown through the mouth however.

Fluttershy opened her gift, it was a beautiful photo of 2 cats and a man that resembled Zacharie with a girl who wore no shirt and covered her privates with tape that resembled Xs. They were in a strange yellow area that looked like it was a fictional world. There were words on it "Greetings my dear shy friend from Zone 0." She smiled at that and found 2 plushy versions of the cats to go with her Doomguy plushy. "Yay." she said with joy, hugging the two plush cats.

The Batter grabbed two shirts. One that said Perfect University and another that had a small ghost with one saying "OFF".

"Sweet. Just my style." Batter said smirking.

Eventually Zacharie one again appeared and said "I'm back, what did I miss?"

"A Bad to the bone battle." Batter said bluntly

"Alright then, time to send the 4 back." He said shrugging and with that sent the princess sisters back to Canterlot and sent the two high schoolers back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day every student except Sunset and Sans had one question on their mind.

...Where and what the hell is Perfect University?

The only response they got was “It was a gift.” & “You’re not worthy of that knowledge.” from Sans.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zacharie appeared with the others gods.

"How did I do?"

"VERY GOOD. I'M SUPRISED YOU BALENCED IT OUT." Deadman said

“Thanks. It wasn’t easy to do so.”

“SO YOU GONNA STICK AROUND OR HEAD OFF.”

“The latter. Welp see you soon.”

And with that Zacharie left.