Secrets of the Heart

by Quick Fix


State of mind

Sugarcube Corner
December 25th


Hearth's Warming Eve had come to Equestria again, a time for ponies to celebrate the foundation of their country and reaffirm the bonds they shared with their friends and family. While every city, town and outpost in Equestria celebrated in their own ways, Ponyville had become known for having a spectacular celebration thanks to its reputation as the friendliest place in Equestria and being the home of Pinkie Pie. This year was no exception. Every last resident and just about every visitor in Ponyville had been invited to her much anticipated hearth's warming party at Sugarcube Corner and by mid afternoon the sheer numbers present had spilled the party over into the surrounding streets with ponies enjoying every type of food and entertainment imaginable.


A typical Pinkie Pie party then.


As he made his way through central Ponyville en-route to the party, Bounty glanced up at the sky and smiled softly on seeing the sun sitting high above, casting its warmth over the snow laden lands. Weather captain Flitter had gone all out in making conditions perfect for today, the wind had finally dropped and the sunlight was enough to counter the worst of the chill, though it did reflect off the patches of ice that dotted the pathways and made it hard to see at times. In an odd way, it reflected his current mood. The last few days had been rough after his unexpected confrontation with Windhover and several tests at the hospital, including one where he had suffered another outburst, he finally felt back to normal. Even the glare from the ice had a part in it with how itchy his horn was.


There wasn't anything he could do about it though, his horn now had a coil of black keratin carefully wrapped around it and capped off with a point that covered the tip. It looked a little silly but nopony had said anything unpleasant about it. It seemed to be working though, he hadn't suffered any fresh outbursts since it was fitted.


For today at least, he could just step back from everything that had been bothering him, enjoy himself at a fantastic party and hopefully clear the air with Windhover if he was lucky. As he reached the edge of the party he felt himself relaxing further, the atmosphere permeating his body and giving him a sense of-


"Hey Bounty!"


Bounty jumped at that familiar, slightly shrill voice going off right next to his left ear. He took a quick breath to refocus himself and looked at the pony that voice belonged to, finding himself face to face with none other than Pinkie Pie herself. The party pony was fully into the spirit of the day, wearing a replica of Commander Hurricane's helmet that now had a few marshmallows stuck onto the pointer bits.


"H-hey, Pinkie. Glad I could make it." Bounty said, returning the smile.


"Me too. I mean you've got a certain something that adds a spark of happiness to anypony's day, I don't know what but it's reaaallly familiar and that's a welcome feeling right now because, well. Can you feel it? I can feel it, been feeling something big coming for the last year and a half..." Pinkie shook her head slightly as she managed to halt her rambling and instead leaned in toward Bounty's horn. "That didn't go where I thought it would, sorry. Oooh, that's a neat accessory."


"Thanks," Bounty commented, looking up at his horn to try and not focus too hard on what he'd just heard. "Unfortunately it's medical."


"Oh. Applejack did mention something had happened to you. I was going to give you a get well party but you'd left the hospital before I could find everything. Are, you alright?"


"I hope so. The doctors think it's Onero Syndrome," Bounty explained, relaxing slightly further as he noticed Pinkie had gone quiet and sympathetic. "Basically, my brain can't handle how much magic it has to control so they've had to keep my magic disabled while my mind recovers and adapts. And yes, not being able to use magic is extremely weird. Like if you had to walk everywhere instead of bouncing around."


Pinkie gasped in equal parts shock and fear at the thought.


"It should only be for a few weeks at most though and hopefully I'll be back to normal afterward. I'm just lucky this didn't happen during harvest time," Bounty added reassuringly. "For now, I'm just going to relax and enjoy the party. Hopefully I'll see you around later."


"Okey dokey lokey!" Pinkie replied, back to her usual chipper self as she bounced off to elsewhere within the party. Bounty silently thanked the fact that nothing seemed to faze her for long before continuing onward.


As he stepped out of the path of a group of fillies playing tag and into the party proper, Bounty's ears twitched as he picked up the sounds of music coming from throughout the streets. It was a style he couldn't place, sounding like a disorganised yet effective mix of instruments that managed to flow together even if the music they played wasn't meant for them. Like if Canterlot ponies were trying to play rock music, on improv instruments. The weirdest part was that it worked, even from here he could make out the tune that whoever was playing was aiming for. Rounding the corner and coming onto the square outside sugarcube corner, he couldn't help but stop at the sight.


From what he could see, there were at least four different groups of ponies that had set up throughout the party and were doing their best to provide a rather unique brand of entertainment. Unique in that not one of them seemed to have a proper set of instruments and really were improvising. The trio leaning on the wall to his right as they played were managing this more than any other. On the left was Little Hayseed, playing a banjo with the vigour and ferocity normally only seen with a heavy guitar. On the right was Windhover, fully covered up as he worked a bass guitar with hooves and wings. Sitting in the center was none other than Diamond Tiara, mayor of Ponyville, going all out with a set of upturned buckets for drums and managing to sing as she did. It sounded less impressive up close but Bounty couldn't help but grin at the sight, especially as he realised they were playing 'The Pony I Want To Be'.


A glance away from the makeshift band to the crowd enjoying their performance confirmed the rest of the SAA team was there. Arboreal was closest to him, her expression torn between confused and amused. Big Mac was in the middle of the crowd and drawing almost as much attention as the performers. If Hayseed was playing the rock star, Mac was the rock fan, whipping his mane back and forth as he bobbed his head to the music. Applejack was standing on the far edge of the group with Apple Bloom next to her, simply taking in the spectacle. Seeing the mare sent a small flutter through Bounty's heart and a thrumming sensation through his forehead. It only lasted the briefest moment but it was noticeable, and that was cause enough for concern.


Bounty shook his head slightly, trying to remember the advice the doctors had given him. Slow breaths, stay calm, focus away from what you think is triggering it. After a few seconds he looked back up and relaxed himself, stepping forward to join the others. The thrumming didn't return as he greeted Arboreal and Mac. That was all he had to do for now, enjoy himself and try not to focus too much on the mare he had feelings for. A taller order than he would like to admit.


An hour later and Bounty couldn't help but wonder if Applejack had had the same thought as he had. Once Hayseed and Windhover had finished performing and left Diamond Tiara receiving admiration from a sand coloured filly, the group had generally stuck together and simply enjoyed the party. For all her eccentricities, Pinkie Pie certainly know how to put an event together that thousands of ponies could enjoy. Throughout the whole thing though, anytime he happened to look toward Applejack was met with his gaze not being met. Normally he wouldn't have thought anything about it but he had noticed that more than once she was turning her head away from him just when he would have made eye contact. He didn't know what to make of it, but he had a feeling that one way or the other, it wasn't good.


"Hey, you awake?"


Bounty blinked as his focus snapped back to reality, realising he'd gone so deep in thought that his muzzle was nearly touching the mug set down on the table in front of him. He'd remembered sitting down at a table with the others, then he must have zoned out again. That fact that was still happening was more cause for concern, on top of everything else that was starting to build up on him. He tried to put the thought aside and looked back up, glancing left to see Arboreal looking back at him with a raised eyebrow.


"Y-yeah, just thinking thoughts." He replied, leaning back slightly to see if the others were at the table as well. Applejack and Little Hayseed were talking just beyond Arboreal while Windhover was making the most of the food spread out before him. Big Mac and Apple Bloom had left at some point, though he didn't have time to wonder where. Not with the look Arboreal was giving him.


"You think you should have put some of that thought toward some better accessories?" She teased, glancing up at his horn wrap.


"It's medical." He replied flatly, turning forward again and taking a drink from his mug. She didn't make any follow up comments and he was silently thankful for that. He needed a minute for everything to just stop and let him get his thoughts in order again.


There was no point in denying that his feelings toward Applejack were the problem here. Every time he looked at her, he felt a stirring in his heart. Respect for her indomitable spirit, admiration for her strength and intellect, and definitely no small amount of attraction. Other stallions might have been put off by her muscle and somewhat blunt personality, but he looked at her and found himself drawn in. From her outstanding physique that showcased every muscle in her body to her gentle expressions that contrasted the look and reminded that she was a pony like any other. Even now, as he watched her laugh at a comment Windhover was making, she came across as the same Applejack that had first saved the world decades ago and she was wonderful.


More than that. She was beautiful.


But she wasn't interested. How could she be? Even if she wasn't the type of mare who was married to her work, she could do so much better than some nobody from Canterlot. But then she could do better than some Baltimare pegasus too. Of course all of this was moot right now since she had no idea. Bounty tensed slightly as he realised just how badly he was holding himself back, how the main reason he didn't have a chance was because he had refused to take a chance at all. He decided on the spot that after so many months wasted, he wasn't going to wait another second. Time to talk to AJ and find out exactly where things stood between them. He took one last drink from his mug and turned toward her...


Just in time to see her leaving with Windhover.


He bit back a growl of frustration as he leaned forward against the table. One more thing to add to the ever-growing pile of things going wrong with his life right now. It was bad enough that he had basically lost control of his magic like a newborn foal and lost his main working edge in the process, but now the mare he felt for seemed to be leaning toward somepony else and on top of that he still didn't have a proper explanation for his outbursts and now he just felt tired and angry and wanted everything to stop for an hour. A minute even. Maybe that would make the thrumming sensation stop. The realisation that it was back at all did nothing for his mood and he had no idea why it was there this time and all of a sudden he just wanted to walk away and find something. Why did he want to find that something so badly when he didn't even know what it was? Why couldn't anything just be simple right now?!


And now Arboreal was bugging him again.


Bounty shut his eyes and gritted his teeth, silently hoping he could keep it together until whatever had set this off passed and he could calm down again.