//------------------------------// // Princess Trollestia Strikes Again // Story: The Time Mishap: A History of Ponies // by Regidar //------------------------------// Chapter 1: Trollestia Strikes Again Princess Celestia was bored, which could only mean one thing. Everypony was screwed. The princess trotted to the royal library to check some spells to amuse her, when she found herself in the time travel section. Skimming along, one particular spell stood out. It was the spell of Project Temporal Travel. Grinning wildly, Celestia took the spell, and muttered the incantation. “For the student I love so dear, Send her off before fear To the one with the honest ways Send her to the broken days For the One faint of heart, Send her to the controversial part To the one who bakes the sweets, Send her where she’ll know defeat For the Fastest flyer in the land, Send her off to the best band To the one with all the style All must end, keep her there for while To the derpiest of them all, Have her visit them all To the one with the harp She’ll soon be under the trap To the one locked in her dreams It’ll never end it seems.” With these power words spoken, a green light shown from Celestia’s horn. It flew from the horn, and out the window to find its prey. *** Twilight Sparkle was enjoying some tea with Rarity and Lyra Heartstrings when the green light washed over all three of them. “Dammit Lyra, what did you do?” “Nothing! I think. It could have been the human modulator I set up...” “Damn you, Lyra...” And they were gone. *** Applejack and Derpy Hooves were inspecting a rock. “Why’re we inspectin’ this here rock again?” Applejack inquired. “This is where the muffin gnomes are hiding their treasure!” Derpy assured the orange earth pony. Applejack looked a Derpy with concern. “Ok then... Ah’m gonna go inside and-” “What’s that?” Applejack looked up. A green light descended upon her and Derpy. “Ahlright Derpy, whadya do?” “I just don’t know what went wrong!” “Yah say that every time!” And they were gone. *** Rainbow Dash was giving Scootaloo a flight lesson. Just kidding. What she was actually doing was bouncing a ball around with Pinky while Fluttershy went on about some sort of dream she had. “And then, Pinky put you back together! She had you on display like some sort of grotesque doll, and-” “Please, Fluttershy. That seems just about as likely as you strapping me to a chair and running a chainsaw through my body.” Fluttershy laughed weakly. “Yeah, that is pretty absurd...” “Exacta-mundo!” Pinky said, eating the ball and jumping to the top of the tree, “Why would i ever want to kill Dashie? It doesn’t make any sense. Especially if I wanted to put her in cupcakes. Everypony knows that pegasus meat is tough and gamey. It wouldn’t be good at all!” Fluttershy gasped a very loud gasp. “What is it?” The terrified pony pointed up at the sky, and a green light descended upon them. “I’d blame Pinky, but have a feeling this isn’t her fault. This time.” And they were gone. *** Dolphin Dream sat at the creek, kicking up mud absent mindedly, thinking about Elijah. It must have been a terrible world to be living in. She hadn’t heard from him in years, 8 to be exact, but she thought of him often. A green light slowly descended upon her. “Oh my! Are you here to take me back to Elijah? Take me, oh green light!” The green light levitated off her and moved away. “Oh fine! Leave me! Leave me just like Elijah did-” A large rock clocked Dolphin on the side of the head, spiraling her into darkness. *** Celestia chuckled to herself, then looked at the dates she had sent the ponies to. “Twilight Sparkle: 14,000,000,000 B.C. Applejack: 1822 Fluttershy: 27 Pinky Pie: 1944 Rainbow Dash: 1994 Rarity: 2012 Derpy Hooves: Potatoe Lyra Heartstrings: 1948 Dolphin Dream: Does anypony honestly care? Because I sure as hell don’t.” Celestia chuckled as she read the writing to herself. Then she realised how much trouble the little ponies must be in. “Oh well, time to solve the problems like I always solve them: Drink a ton and molest Luna!”