//------------------------------// // Baking // Story: A Tight Problem // by Fifty Shades of Yellow //------------------------------// The next day rolls on by, and with another day that you wear these fucking skinny jeans. She did say wear something that you wouldn’t mind getting dirty in, and you actually give a shit about the other pairs of pants. You wear a rugged, washed out shirt and faded sneakers for situations like this, so you’re set. As you’re about to knock on her door, it swings open. You stop your fist mid-air, avoiding a close call from punching her in the face. "Oh, hello, Pinkie!” She giggles from you spontaneous outburst that you would call a greeting. ”Come on in, silly!” She waives her hand inward, directing you to enter her home. You do so and follow her into the kitchen. Pie pans, sacks of flour, mixing bowls, a rolling pin, and bowls of mixed fruit. ”Looks like you’re ready for it. All you need is to wash your hands and we’ll be set!” You nod and head over to the sink to wash your hands. ”Oh, and you might want to splash some water on your face, because it’s going to get HOT in here!” She warns you while preheating the oven. “Can’t we open the windows up?” ”I wish.” “Why do you say that?” ”They are supposed to slide open, but they are rusted to a point that it’s nearly impossible to make it budge!” You groan out of the inevitable misery these next few hours you’re going to go through. ”Cheer up! We’re going to have fun!” She grabs your shoulders and shouts with joy. “Trust Pinkie Pie to give you a fun time!” After two hours, you decided that this is a fucking dreadful time. It’s hot as a freaking oven in here! The water coming from the sink can do so much to cool you down, and Pinkie wasn’t kidding about the windows in the kitchen, these things refuse to budge. Pinkie Pie pulls out a set of pies from the shitbox that she calls an oven, whereas you continue to splash some water on your face. ”Whoo-wee! Sure is hot in here, huh?” She says with enthusiasm that boggles your mind. “Pinkie, I think we need to leave and take a break.” ”I’m afraid that we can’t do that!” “Why not?!” You plead out for mercy. ”Because, we still got a whole lot of batches to go through!” She somehow still says it with cheer in her voice while putting in a few more pies in the already. You sigh, wishing that this would be all over. ”Hey now, don’t be so upset!” That’s an understatement right there. You start to regret doing this. ”Let Pinkie here think of something to get you to take your mind off of it.” She grabs a jar of icing mix and directly eats out of it, thinking over on what to do with you. ”I KNOW!” She opens up a door to a cabinet and pulls out a boombox. What the…? She begins to dance along the beat, while gliding her hands down her body. Wait a minute… This song... ”Come on, Nonny! Let’s dance!” Welp, this is it. You never thought that you would die while listening to this fucking song, along with a pink girl that’s stripping to it. Wait, what? You take a good look and notice that Pinkie Pie threw off her apron, and is sliding right out of her shirt and skirt. Now she’s in nothing but a blue thong and bra. ”Don’t leave me hanging, Nonny!” “Can we slide open the door!?” You nearly shout as she turns the dial. ”What?! You need help with taking your clothes off?! Okay!” You back away as Pinkie rushes over to you, but she trips over a used pan, causing the icing mix to fly out of her hand. It lands on your abdomen and makes a sticky streak down to your crotch. ”Whoops! Here, I’ll clean that up for you!” You continue to back away, but stop when your rump hits the counter. Some of the pies slide away when you backed onto them. ”Don’t worry about the pies! We’ll make room for ourselves!” She gloats out when kneeling down to undo your pants. “Jeez, Nonny. These really are tight!” She exclaims when tugging them down. No, fuck this. You’ve had it with her antics. You look over to the side and notice that the boombox is within arms reach. While she's trying to get your jeans below your knees, you reach over to grab the boombox. Pinkie stops for a moment to look at you. ”Nonny? What are--” Before she could even finish, you chuck it at a window, causing it to shatter and the music to slowly fade away until it completely stops with a loud crash. She doesn’t struggle when getting up to see the mess that you’ve made. ”NONNY! That was Limestone’s!” She cries out. “And?” ”She-- You-- The window--” She stops to look around, ending by looking at you in shock. “Oh man, my family is going to be very upset about this! I don’t think I’ll be able to invite anyone over for a long time!” She complains. “I’m sorry.” You give out a half-hearted apology. She sighs while you pull up your pants. ”Just, take any of the pies and go.” You grab a pie from the counter and check to make sure it doesn’t have any glass shards inside of it before heading out. You walk by the shattered boombox and continue on walking home, but stop when someone calls you. You pull out your phone and see that it’s Norman. Fucking hell, what does he want? You pick up and listen. ”Hey man! How’d it go?” “Not so well.” ”What did you do? You just had to make pies.” “It’s a long story, and my phone is about to die.” You lie, hoping that he wouldn’t catch you. ”Don’t worry, I called to make sure that it was you.” “What?” ”Look to your left.” You do and notice Norman is about to cross the street. Son of a bitch... ”Hey, wait up!” He shouts when crossing over. You allow him to catch up, thinking that it’s better to act cool, rather than running away and to leave a trail of spaghetti. ”Woah, you look like hell.” “Thank you for stating the obvious.” ”Seriously, what happened?” “If you want to know so badly, you’re buying me a drink.” Some time has passed, leading you and Norman at the center of the mall. You take a sip out of your lemonade and walk away from the food stand. ”There, satisfied?” “It could use some more sugar.” He chuckles when punching your shoulder. You enjoy messing around with him, and vice versa. But it looks like you still have to fulfill your part of the deal. ”Now that you have that drink, want to tell me what happened a few hours ago?” You sigh. “If you want to know, it went from baking to a literal hot box.” ”You’re joking.” “Why else did I look more red than some woman's period blood?” He cringes at the imagery you painted out for him. ”I’m going to need more than that on why you look like you took a long walk down a desert.” You guide him over to a bench and prepare to tell him the ‘fun times’ you had with Pinkie. After a good five minutes, you explained to him about the entire shitfest. He stares at you, wondering if what you’re saying is true. ”Dude, first the white chick rubbing you down, now this?” “I know. You’d think that this would all be in a wet dream.” ”You’re telling me.” ”Hey, you!” The two of you look to the side to see some orange country girl approaching. ”I’ve heard about what you did to my friend, and I think that’s mighty terrible.” “Look, it’s not my fault when I couldn’t even open up a fucking window!” ”Yes, yes. But now, I reckon that she wants you to help her pay for the window.” “Like that’ll ever happened, I’m broke.” ”Now hold up, city slicker, I’m actually here to help you out.” Oh boy, here we go. You wonder on what she’s going to offer you. ”If you help me clean up the apple fields tomorrow, I’d be more than happy to pay off that broken window.” At this point, what do you have left? You look at Norman, hoping if he could bail you up. ”Don’t look at me, bro. This is all on you.” Great, you can always rely on him. ”So, how about it?” She sticks out her hand, expecting you to shake it. “One question; how did you know about this?” ”Word travels fast here, sugarcube.” She giggles her arm around, still leaving her offer up there. You reach out and grab her hand, shaking it. ”Great! Meet me at my house at sunrise tomorrow!” “But, it’s a Saturday.” ”Exactly! It’s going to take us the entire day to get us to get a good chunk of the work done. Normally I would do this with my sis and big brother, but they have their own plans.” Those two will most certainly have a wonderful time in compared to what you're going to do. She stops the handshake and walks away, leaving you with your confused friend. ”Do you ever think that the stars are aligned, or some cosmic shit that’s going on?” “No, why do you say that?” ”Dude, two girls just offered themselves and you pushed them away. Are you sure that you want to let this one go as well?” You take a sip out of your lemonade and think about it for a while.