//------------------------------// // 5 - Answers are Overrated // Story: Surprise Party // by TobiasDrake //------------------------------// “So that’s it?” Twilight asked. “It’s really over?” Weeks had passed since her recovery, and not once had Rainbow Dash asked to meet with her. Eventually, she decided to request a meeting herself, if only to confirm the bitter truth she’d been suspecting. Rainbow Dash shrugged. Taking a bite from her Hay Burger, she answered, “It’s really over.” She chewed and swallowed her bite before continuing. “We figured we’re better off as friends. No skin off my back.” “I’m sorry to hear that,” Twilight attempted to reassure her. “I still remember when Applejack broke up with me. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life. I never wanted you to have to go through that.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Twilight, that lasted a day.” “It was the hardest day of my life,” Twilight insisted. “Well, hardest day that didn’t involve Nightmare Moon. Or Changelings. King Sombra. Discord.” She thought for a moment. “Though I guess it kind of did involve Discord.” “It was still a day,” Rainbow Dash criticized. “Then you got back together, we beat up a rock, and everypony cheered about your amazing love life. That’s the difference. Pinkie dumped me for real. We don’t get to dramatically make up just in time to flip the tables on some bad guy. We’re just done.” Three days before, Rainbow Dash joined her friends to watch the Cutie Mark Crusaders drive their float in the Summer Harvest Parade. The parade had gone quickly awry, and Rainbow Dash raced to the edge of a small cliff with the others to check on the fillies. Frantically, she peered over the hay bales the organizers had lined up as a makeshift guardrail for the parade. Their large, golden apple float was immediately visible, half-submerged in the muck at the bottom. To her great relief, the fillies were okay. They crawled out of the mud and seemed to be discussing something among themselves. “Are y’all okay?” Applejack called down to the fillies. She leapt over the barricade and descended the hill to check on them. Satisfied that the Crusaders were intact and safe, Twilight turned her attention to the other potential disaster. “Has anypony seen Pinkie Pie?” “I think I saw her float careen off the road before the apple crashed,” Rarity answered. “I’ll go find her,” Rainbow Dash volunteered. “She can’t have gone far.” “I’ll come with you,” Twilight offered. “NO!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “Um…I mean…the Crusaders might be hurt. They could probably use some, uh…some magic? Besides, you’d just slow me down.” “You might be right,” Twilight conceded. “Don’t worry, we’ll catch up later.” With that, she was gone into the air. She crossed the road and skimmed the cliff face until she found the wreckage of the lettuce float laying in a nearby cow pasture. Face-deep in the lettuce, Pinkie emitted loud chomping sounds as Rainbow Dash descended. “There you are,” Rainbow Dash uttered, setting herself down in the lettuce. “Sucks about your float. Are you--WHOA!” Before she could finish, Pinkie Pie lunged for her, rolling her down into the leaves. The only words that came out of the pink pony, “Veggie Salad,” successfully explained nothing. Rainbow Dash, however, could no longer care. Reaching a hoof up for the side of Pinkie’s face, she-- “Is that a cow?” Pinkie followed Rainbow Dash’s stare to Daisy Jo, who stood just beside the wreckage with one of its lettuce leaves sticking out of her teeth. Her eyes were locked on the two ponies and she’d stopped chewing, opting instead for staring awkwardly. “This might be a little too public,” Pinkie Pie admitted. “But it’s cool,” Rainbow Dash continued. “Pinkie’s a good friend. I kinda lost sight of that for a while.” “Yes, you did,” Twilight agreed. “But I’m glad it worked out okay in the end. I think we’ve all lost our heads once or twice for love. Applejack and I certainly have. Maybe not Fluttershy. I can’t really speak for Rarity either.” Twilight thought for a moment. “I guess there was the Gala, but that was a disaster all around.” “You’re kidding, right?” Rainbow Dash laughed. “Rarity is, like, the love expert. She actually seems to know what she’s doing.” “You’re right,” Twilight agreed. “I’m sure when it’s her turn to have feelings for somepony, Rarity will be the picture of grace and sophistication.” “What, not a screw-up like us?” Rainbow Dash laughed. “I don’t think we’re that bad. We’re just new to this.” “So, it’s been going well?” Rarity asked a couple days later. She lay out on her fainting couch, having found a moment’s respite from her busy schedule to entertain what was, for once, an expected guest. Pinkie Pie bit down on the rim of her coffee mug and tipped it upwards, gulping down some of the warm liquid before returning the mug to its spot. “It’s going perfect! Dashie and I are like two peas in a pod!” Confused, Rarity asked, “Wait, I thought you didn’t want to be a couple.” “I don’t!” As though it were the most obvious thing, Pinkie explained, “A pod holds a bunch of peas, Rarity.” Rarity blinked a couple of times, absentmindedly sipping from her coffee. “…huh,” she muttered as she digested Pinkie's words. There was certainly no arguing with that logic. She wondered if the party pony might have just ruined that phrase forever. Obliviously, Pinkie continued, “Anyways, we’re doing okay now. She hasn’t been weird or creepy even once! I think your advice really helped.” Shaking it off, Rarity assured her, “That is a relief to hear. You’ve avoided a potentially calamitous heartbreak and protected your friendship at the same time.” “I mean, we’re still doing it!” Pinkie boasted, prompting Rarity to choke mid-gulp as she tried to down her mug. Pinkie gasped. “Are you okay?!” she asked but Rarity simply gestured for her to move out of the way and raced to the kitchen, coughing up brown fluid into the sink. “I’m sorry,” Pinkie apologized as she followed Rarity to the kitchen. “Should we not be?” Rarity stood, front hooves propped up on the counter, and let a couple more gasps out into the sink. “It’s fine,” she managed to get out between heaves. “Honestly, I’m surprised that took this long. And what you’re doing is entirely between you and Rainbow Dash. You’re both adults. So long as nopony’s being pressured into anything and the both of you are comfortable with the nature of your friendship, what you do behind closed doors is your own business.” “Don’t you think the Great and Apologetic Trixie is the most magnificent humble pony you’ve ever seen?!” Before Twilight could formulate an answer to that question, Trixie vanished in a burst of smoke that thoroughly failed to conceal her departure. With a roll of her eyes, Twilight dropped off the stage and began searching for her friends in the dispersing crowd. She’d already passed off Fluttershy’s animals back to her and knew that would be occupying her time, but there were still-- Aha! There was Rarity, idly chatting with Bon Bon and Lyra. “Rarity!” she called out to her, trotting over to join her. “Oh! Good evening, Twilight,” Rarity greeted her. “That was quite the lovely display you put on.” “Thank you. After that duel with Trixie, the performance was the easy part. She really pushed me.” “Speaking of, whatever has become of the Alicorn Amulet?” Twilight glanced at Lyra and Bon Bon, but the two had already wandered off in search of new gossip. “Zecora’s taking care of it,” she answered. “I don’t expect we’ll be hearing from that thing ever again.” Before Twilight could say anymore, she found her neck jerked sideways and her ears filled with the shout, “Hoo-wee, that was a humdinger of a light show!” Twilight teetered off-balance as her head arrived at its new resting place, squeezed between Applejack’s foreleg and the side of her face. “You were amazin’, sugarcube!” “It wasn’t that impressive,” Twilight insisted. “I’m sure that any pony with a degree in the practical applications of theoretical metaphysics could have done the same.” Applejack blinked a couple times. “That the stuff you used to make the critters float around in circles or the bit that made the swirly lights pop off?” “I….” Twilight lowered her head, sheepishly. “Well…there was some basic magic theory in those spells….” Rarity giggled. “That’s alright. We were all very impressed with your magic.” “Actually, I wanted to ask about that,” Twilight interjected. “Have you seen the others? I know Fluttershy’s going to be busy making sure I didn’t hurt her animals, but I haven’t seen Pinkie since I broke Trixie’s silencing spell. I have no idea where Rainbow Dash is.” “Reckon I saw Rainbow sneakin’ ‘round the back of the flower shop,” Applejack answered. “Yes, Pinkie Pie was headed that direction as well,” Rarity added with a smirk. "They’ve likely slipped away to do the horizontal tango. Those two are so cute together.” Twilight perked up at the suggestion. “Wait, they’re dancing?” She pouted. “I wish they’d asked us to join. I’ve never heard of that one. They probably could have taught me.” Rarity stared blankly at Twilight for a few seconds before Applejack, trying her hardest not to start laughing at her special somepony, explained, “She’s talkin’ ‘bout sex, sugarcube. Rainbow and Pinkie skipped off to have sex.” Watching Twilight’s face turn beet red, Applejack’s willpower broke and she cracked up. “Oh!” Twilight remarked. “That’s…but…they’re supposed to be….” Confused, Rarity asked, “Surely, Rainbow Dash has kept you apprised? Your recurring lunch dates were quite the local scandal. I had to assure Sweetie Belle that the two of you weren’t having an affair. You should have seen her; frantic and screaming about what this would do to poor Apple Bloom.” Applejack added, “Probably shouldn’t tell her what you wanted Rainbow to teach you!” before laughing again. “It’s not that funny,” Twilight grumbled. Her agitation, however, was appeased by a gentle nuzzle on the side of her face and the words, “You’re just cute, s’all.” Returning to the matter at hoof, Twilight explained, “Rainbow Dash and I talked about everything. She and Pinkie broke up weeks ago.” “Technically, they were never a couple in the first place,” Rarity corrected. “That was just a bit of a miscommunication.” “That explains even less,” Twilight insisted. “Why would they be…I mean, why are they…you know…doing….” Rarity gave Twilight a sarcastic glance. “Darling, if you are old enough to be doing it, then you are old enough to say the words.” Blushing furiously, Twilight choked out, “…having sex. They’re having sex.” “Don’t reckon it’s our business,” Applejack insisted. Confused, Twilight argued, “But they’re just supposed to be friends. Friends don’t do that with each other. That’s just supposed to be for you and your special somepony, isn’t it?” Rarity answered, “Some friends do, Twilight. There aren’t rules to friendship. It can be whatever two ponies decide they want it to be.” Twilight shook her head. None of this made sense to her. Since coming to Ponyville, she’d read every book on friendship she could find. She’d poured through romance novel after romance novel back when she’d started out with Applejack. She’d never read anything about friends sleeping together on occasion. “Have you ever done it with a friend?” she asked Rarity, pressing the point. But to her surprise, Rarity answered her with a shrug and, “A couple of times, yes.” Twilight stared at her for a few seconds, trying to process her answer. Then she clarified, “I’m talking about having sex.” “Yes, darling, your masterful innuendo was not lost on me.” Twilight looked to Applejack next. “What about you? Have you ever?” Applejack shook her head. “I’m really more of a flowers and sweet talk kind of gal. I like a bit of romancin’.” “So do I,” Rarity agreed. “Sometimes things just happen, however. There’s nothing wrong with it, Twilight.” Twilight’s mind reeled with the implications of what Rarity and Applejack were saying. She needed time to process this. Before she could speak, however, Applejack caught the gears turning in her head and told her, “I know what you’re fixin’ on, sugar, and you shouldn’t. Rainbow and Pinkie don’t need no more meddlin’.” “I’m not going to meddle,” Twilight assured her. “Uh-huh.” Applejack sighed. “Listen, I know you want Pinkie and Rainbow to be happy, but tryin’ to set them up is a dog don’t hunt.” “I know, I know,” Twilight told her. “I’ll just do what I can if they need my help. That’s all.” Applejack reached a hoof up and scruffed Twilight’s mane. “S’all anypony can ask of ya.” The next day, Twilight found herself hidden in the bushes just outside Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash needed her help confessing their hearts’ true feelings to each other, and she was determined to be the pony that brings them together. They’d thank her on their wedding day, surely. A box shaped like a heart sat propped against the doorframe. Inside were a variety of assorted chocolates from her favorite candy shop in Canterlot. She’d picked out the same box she’d gotten Applejack for Hearts and Hooves Day, with the same card and the same lettering. On the front, she’d simply written, “To Pinkie Pie”. Getting the box was the easy part. Keeping other ponies away from it was – horse apples, there was another one! Twilight spied a blue pegasus trotting up towards Sugarcube Corner, topped by a golden mane.  Her cutie mark was shaped like a sun half obscured by a cloud. Twilight thought she’d heard her name as Cloud Kicker or Cloudy Kicks or something like that, but the point right now was that she was threatening Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie’s future. Floating a cupcake from the basket beside her, Twilight levitated it past the pegasus, who caught sight of it easily enough and dashed away to chase after the confectionery delight. Twilight congratulated herself on another disaster averted and resumed her stakeout. Finally, as the sun approached its peak in the sky, Rainbow Dash fluttered down from the sky. She spotted the candy box resting beside the doorframe and approached it. Confused, Rainbow Dash looked around a few times, but there was nopony in sight who might have left it. Picking it up with one hoof, she bit the knob of the Cakes’ front door and opened it, entering the store. Releasing the knob, Rainbow Dash called out, “Hey, Pinkie? Are you here?” She set the box down on the counter. Pinkie Pie poked her head out from the kitchen at Rainbow Dash’s voice. “Good morning, Rainbow Dash! How are you?” Rainbow Dash held out a sheet of parchment, resting it beside the box. “I got your letter,” she explained. “What did you want to talk about?” “What?” Pinkie zipped over to the counter to look at the parchment. “I didn’t write a letter. I don’t think I did, anyway.” Inscribed was a very brief message in the neat, fanciful style that only unicorn magic could produce. Dear Rainbow Dash, This is Pinkie Pie, and I need to talk to you about my feelings and cupcakes. Please come to Sugarcube Corner immediately for feelings. And maybe also cupcakes. Zany non-sequitur, Pinkie Pie Turning her head sideways, Pinkie Pie asked, “Hey, isn’t this that fancy paper Twilight uses?” Rainbow Dash stared at it for a few seconds, but she’d never really paid that much attention, so she couldn’t answer for certain. “Uh…maybe?” she offered. “I found this box outside, too. I think it’s for you.” Pinkie Pie glanced over at the chocolate box. “That’s weird,” she noted. “It’s the same writing on the box.” She looked up for a moment, thinking, then turned to Rainbow Dash and asked, “Do you think this has anything to do with Twilight hiding in the bushes across the street all morning?” “She's doing what?” Pinkie jerked her head behind Rainbow Dash. “She’s watching us through that window right now.” When Rainbow Dash turned to look, Twilight grimaced in panic and ducked quickly out of sight, but not fast enough to prevent her from being seen. Alarmed, Rainbow Dash asked, “Why is she--” Before she could finish, Pinkie gave a shrug and a verbal, “Who knows?” She popped open the box of chocolates and dove face-first into them, munching loudly before looking up and asking Rainbow Dash, “You want some?” “I’m good,” Rainbow Dash answered with a grimace. Pinkie responded by shoving her face back into the box and chomping. When she’d finished devouring the tasty treats, Pinkie looked up at Rainbow Dash and asked, “So as long as you’re here, do you want to help me with my deliveries?” “Sure,” Rainbow Dash answered. “I’ve got time.” “Great! Let me just finish cooking up the last batch and we can be on our way.” Rainbow Dash found herself waiting for half an hour before Pinkie emerged from the kitchen again. With the two of them carrying boxes, it didn’t take long to load up the cart. Rainbow Dash had just set the last of her boxes into the car when she heard a, “Psst,” coming from a pink flower bed next to the stairs. Not even needing to look, Rainbow Dash slapped her hoof to her forehead. This was going to be a long day. “PSST!” came the voice, louder this time. In a loud whisper, Twilight urged her, “Offer to pull the cart! You’re really strong! She’ll appreciate it!” Rainbow Dash sighed heavily, then stepped around the cart and told Pinkie, “Hey, Twilight says I should pull the cart.” “Why?” Pinkie asked. “PSSST!” came Twilight’s loud whisper again. “Don’t tell her I said that!” Rainbow Dash glared at Twilight’s hiding place, but her attention was pulled back when Pinkie admonished her. “Twilight says you’re not supposed to tell me that Twilight’s telling you to do things!” Confused, Rainbow Dash asked, “Are we actually going along with this?” “Well, yeah,” Pinkie answered bluntly. “Twilight said you’re supposed to offer to pull the cart.” Sighing, Rainbow Dash stepped towards the cart’s harness, but Pinkie leapt in front of her, blocking her path. “Hey!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “I thought you wanted me to pull it.” “Nonono, you’re getting ahead of yourself. Twilight told you to offer to pull the cart. You haven’t offered.” Disdain rolled from Rainbow Dash’s snout in a long groan. She couldn’t roll her eyes hard enough at this scenario. But when she looked back over, she saw Pinkie beginning to pout, and that worried her. Was she being mean again? It wasn’t that she particularly wanted to be doing something else and she was pretty sure she hadn’t pressured Pinkie for sex at any point, but Pinkie still seemed hurt by the way she was approaching this weird new thing Twilight was doing. Drawing in a deep breath, Rainbow Dash looked Pinkie straight in the eyes and said, “Pinkie Pie, will you let me pull your cart?” In response to the question, Pinkie proceeded to stand completely still next to the cart. Rainbow Dash waved a hoof in front of her eyes, but she didn’t even seem to acknowledge it. “Uh, Pinkie? What are you doing now?” “I’m waiting for my turn,” Pinkie explained. “I think you’re just supposed to answer the question.” Rainbow Dash turned towards the flower bed. “Twilight, tell her--” The unicorn, however, was no longer cunningly concealed by flowers that were not the correct color to match her hide. Where she’d gotten to was a fresh new mystery, prompting Rainbow Dash to heave a long sigh. This was going to be quite a day. By the time they arrived at Pinkie’s first destination, the school, Rainbow Dash was already sick of hauling her cart. She had the strength to manage the load, but the weight was awkward and required her to pull with her hind legs. The straps forced her to choose whether she wanted her wings pinned to her sides or unable to rest comfortably over them. This whole rig was clearly not designed with pegasi in mind. She waited outside as Pinkie carried the sweets into the store. A few minutes later, she was forced to breathe a heavy sight when she saw a bouquet of lilies levitating in her direction. Dryly, she remarked, “I’m flattered, but I don’t think AJ’s going to like you hitting on me.” She grinned to herself as she heard Twilight’s flustered reply. “That’s not…I…they’re not for you!” Rainbow Dash walked past the flowers to the bush Twilight was hiding in. “You want me to give these to Pinkie, don’t you?” “Yes. And read her this.” Twilight levitated a sheet of parchment. Rainbow Dash’s eyes skimmed over it briefly. “Your hair like cotton candy?” She shuddered from revulsion. “I’m not reading this! It’s just about the sappiest thing I’ve ever seen.” “But you have to,” came Pinkie Pie’s voice from behind her. Rainbow Dash turned her head and saw Pinkie trotting down from the school. “Twilight said so.” Frustrated, Rainbow Dash asked, “Why is that such a big deal today?” “Because if you don’t do what Twilight says then I might never get a turn.” “A turn at what?!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “At the game,” Pinkie answered. “We’re playing Twilight Says. I haven’t gotten a turn yet, but I’ve been really patient.” Struck by Pinkie’s interpretation of the events, Rainbow Dash stammered, “N…no…that’s not….” She reached her hooves into the bush and yanked Twilight out, pushing her in Pinkie’s direction. “Tell her that’s not what we’re doing.” Pinkie looked innocently at Twilight, who shrank away from her gaze. “I mean, it could be what we’re--” Sternly, Rainbow Dash asked, “Twilight, what are you doing?” Twilight sighed and lowered her head. “I just wanted the two of you to have an actual date. You need to express your feelings for each other.” “Why?” Pinkie asked. “Because you’re not doing it right,” Twilight answered bluntly. Pinkie took a step back and stared at Twilight, uncertain how to answer that. She felt more than saw Rainbow Dash’s features harden as the pegasus opened her snout to respond. “You want to say that again?” “That didn’t come out right,” Twilight corrected herself. Looking at Rainbow Dash, she took a stab at a better explanation. “What I mean is that I’m worried that you’re taking advantage of Pinkie Pie.” “Oh, is that all?!” Rainbow Dash demanded. “It’s not that you mean to be,” Twilight explained. “At least, I hope you don’t.” Pinkie stepped forward, asking, “Wait, that’s what you’re--” But she was cut off by Rainbow Dash retorting, “I don’t, huh? So, what, I just woke up in the morning and accidentally slipped on my abusive saddlebags instead of the regular ones?” Pinkie pulled away from Rainbow Dash, urging her, “You’re slipping into your mean voice again.” Twilight shook her head. Tension sparked in her voice as she answered, “No, but you’re not treating Pinkie with the respect that she deserves.” Pinkie’s eyes shot open and she looked at Twilight. “Nonono, we solved that, she’s been really--” “How?!” Rainbow Dash demanded. “I told you that we worked things out!” “You told me that you broke it off!” Twilight responded. “You lied to me!” Pinkie looked at Twilight. “Uh, Twilight? You’re starting to get a mean voice too.” “I never lied to you!” Rainbow Dash insisted. “We did break up!” Pinkie turned her head back towards the cart, and her eyes widened. “Uh, girls?” “Then why are you still having sex?!” Twilight shouted back at her. “Girls!” Pinkie shouted over the two of them. Twilight and Rainbow Dash turned to see the deep, purple face of Cheerilee standing before them, eye twitching. The curious faces of various colts and fillies could be seen filling the windows of the school. “I am so sorry,” Pinkie offered in supplication. “Ladies,” Cheerilee addressed the three ponies through a broken attempt at a smile. “While I’m sure this discussion must be absolutely fascinating, do you mind not having it in front of the children?” Pinkie had already slipped into the harness of her cart by the time Twilight and Rainbow Dash processed the question. Twilight stammered out a quick, “I’m sorry,” and trotted after Pinkie. Rainbow Dash matched it with a sheepish, “Yeah, what she said,” before following suit. Any hopes Pinkie might have had that the interruption would defuse the argument were soon dashed, as Twilight hissed to Rainbow Dash once they were out of earshot of the school, “Either you lied to me or you’re using Pinkie for sex. I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt.” “Twilight, we solved that,” Pinkie pleaded, but once again, her voice fell on deaf ears. Twilight’s accusation was the spark to Rainbow Dash’s anger. She stopped walking. “What business is it of yours anyway?!” “It’s my business because you’re hurting my friend!” Twilight answered. “Twilight, please stop,” Pinkie begged. “Yeah, I screwed up,” Rainbow Dash admitted, “But I’ve worked really hard to get along with Pinkie! I don’t need this right now!” “Yeah, we’re fi--wait,” Pinkie’s attention snapped back to Rainbow Dash. “Being my friend is hard work?” Twilight rounded on Rainbow Dash. “It’s not about what you need! What does she need, Rainbow Dash? You’ve never cared about her needs. I’ve asked you again and again and you’ve never listened. This relationship can’t just be about you!” “It’s not!” Rainbow Dash replied. “There isn’t a relationship! That’s what you’re not getting! We talk, we laugh, we play around, and yes, we have sex sometimes. That’s it! We’re friends! We’re not lovers, we’re not going to have little pink rainbow foals running around, we’re just good friends.” Twilight blinked. “That wouldn’t be biologically feasible anyways, but that’s beside the point. Friends don’t sleep together.” “Why not?!” “Because….” Twilight hesitated, trying to find an answer. She knew there was one. She was certain of it. But it wouldn’t come to her lips. “Because they don’t, Rainbow Dash. That’s not how friendship works. You’re using Pinkie instead of giving her what she needs.” “She’s the one who wanted to just be friends!” Rainbow Dash shouted, gesturing at Pinkie. She’d hoped Pinkie would chime in to support her, but no answer came. Shrinking down in her harness, Pinkie tried to hide from all the screaming. She didn’t even care what Twilight and Rainbow Dash were fighting about anymore. She just wanted it to stop. She closed her eyes and shut out the world until she heard the one thing she couldn’t shut out. “You know what? I’m done with this,” Rainbow Dash snapped at Twilight. “Come on, Pinkie.” “Where do you think you’re going?” Twilight demanded. Looking Twilight straight in the eyes, Rainbow Dash answered. “We’re going to go have sex. Just because you don’t want us to! Loud, sweaty, obnoxious--” “ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!” Pinkie shrieked, emerging from her safe place in an explosion of raw emotion. Rainbow Dash jerked back from Pinkie’s voice as though the words had physically struck her. Fear wrestled with vulnerability in her features as she echoed, “…no?” Pinkie’s frantic eyes fell on Rainbow Dash as she approached her. “Dashie, the things I do for you are supposed to be out of love. You’re my friend and I want my friends to be happy. But if you’re just doing it to hurt Twilight, then I want no part of it!” Shrinking back from Pinkie, Rainbow Dash recognized the line she’d crossed. As she searched for the words to say, she caught a glimpse of Twilight’s smug smirk over Pinkie’s shoulder. Twilight’s triumph, however, was short lived as Pinkie rounded on her next. “And you!” she shouted, angrier than Rainbow had ever seen her. “I’m happy that you want to protect me, Twilight, but it wasn’t needed. You just made everything worse!” Twilight struggled to defend herself. “I’m just trying to keep her from taking advantage of you. You’re not the most…I mean….” She searched for a way to say what she wanted to say without offending her dear friend. She didn’t need to, however. Pinkie understood exactly what she meant. “You think that I can’t take care of myself,” she said bluntly. Twilight lowered her head sheepishly. She knew how bad this looked. “I’m just worried that your worldview might make you vulnerable to abuse. And Rainbow Dash…I mean, it looked….” “I know how it looked,” Pinkie answered. “I also know how you and Applejack look, but I don’t talk about that!” Twilight jerked up, alarmed. “Wait, what’s wrong with me and Applejack?” “Twilight, the very first friend you ever made in your entire life is now plowing your field!” Looking over Pinkie’s shoulder, Rainbow Dash explained, “She means--” Twilight shook her head, cutting her off. “No, I got that one.” Pinkie continued, “That’s skeevy, Twilight. If I didn’t know the both of you, I could totally think she was taking advantage of you. I could think that she used your naivete and vulnerability to get you to do things you wouldn’t want to do if you know better. I could have gone to the farm a hundred times to yell at Applejack about what she’s doing, but I never have, because you’re my friends. Because I know you both and I trust you.” Twilight sat down hard as Pinkie’s words raced through her mind. She thought about how she and Applejack had gotten together. It had been innocent enough, she thought, but Pinkie was right. To an outside observer, what must they have looked like? With tears welling up in her eyes, Pinkie continued. “And you seem happy. You’ve been watching me all day, Twilight. Did I seem happy today?” Twilight nodded. “Then why would you want to take that away from me?” She breathed a heavy sob. “All I wanted was to play a fun game, and you both ruined it.” Sliding into her harness, she addressed Twilight and Rainbow Dash. “I have to go make my deliveries now.” “Pinkie, wait--” Rainbow Dash attempted, but she was interrupted. “Don’t follow me.” In that moment, Pinkie uttered some of the hardest words she’d ever had to say: “You’re not invited.” As her tears struck the ground, they were matched by her hooves. The wheels of her cart heaved and rolled after her. Twilight and Rainbow Dash watched Pinkie and her cart disappear into town. After a few long moments, Rainbow Dash asked, “Did we just get told off by Pinkie Pie?” Twilight nodded in affirmation. Gathering her strength to speak, she said, “I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash. I just don’t understand.” Rainbow Dash scratched her neck with her hoof. “Look, I’m not the one to explain it. I don’t even really get it either.” She thought for a moment, then added, “You know what we need? This worked for me and Pinkie. We need somepony who can sit and listen to us and keep us from snapping at each other or ignoring each other.” “A mediator?” Twilight asked. “Yeah, that’s it!” “Well, Rarity is usually--” Sheepishly, Rainbow Dash interrupted, “I think Rarity would rather swallow nails than have to deal with any more of our romance drama.” Twilight thought for a moment, then nodded her head in agreement. “She deserves a break.” Applejack sighed. Twilight and Rainbow Dash each had seats taken on bales of hay in the barn of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack paced between them, listening as they explained their problem. “So what I’m hearin’, Twilight, is that you went out and meddled right after promisin’ me you wouldn’t.” “I thought they needed help,” Twilight offered in her own defense. Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash. “And you got madder than a wet hen and stuffed your hoof in your mouth. That about cover it?” Rainbow Dash agreed, “I went too far. I think I really hurt her.” Twilight shook her head. “No, I’m fine.” “Not you!” Applejack took a deep breath. She turned to Twilight first. “Alright, sugar. Let’s hear it.” Twilight explained, “I don’t understand how Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie can be happy being friends if they’re sleeping together.” “Do you have to?” “What do you mean?” Applejack sat down in front of Twilight and smiled at her. “Sugar, I don’t know how Rares can be so fixed on findin’ her a stallion. I’ve tried it and it ain’t right for me, but there’s something there she sees that I don’t. Don’t reckon that matters none, though. It ain’t my life, so it don’t got to make sense to me.” Twilight glanced over at Rainbow Dash. “You’re saying I should just accept my own lack of understanding and let it go?” “Are they hurtin’ anypony?” Twilight looked down sheepishly. “I thought Rainbow Dash was hurting Pinkie Pie, but I think I might have made a mistake.” Applejack looked over at Rainbow Dash. “Hey, Rainbow, Pinkie hurtin’ ya any?” “Not that I know of,” Rainbow Dash answered honestly. Applejack returned her attention to Twilight. “Now I’ll ask Pinkie that next time I see her, and then I’ll have my answer.” “I don’t think it’s that simple,” Twilight answered. “But I think you’re right. I should have dropped this.” She looked over at her friend. “I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash.” Next was her turn. Applejack stepped over to Rainbow Dash. “Sounds to me like you upset Pinkie somethin’ fierce.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “I’m going to have to talk to her.” “Not right now,” Twilight urged her. “It’s not a good idea to talk while feelings are still heated. Give her some time to cool down.” Looking from Twilight to Applejack, Rainbow Dash asked, “What do I say to her? I wasn’t trying to use her like that. I just thought--” “Let me stop ya there,” Applejack interrupted. “Your mind’s runnin’, findin’ ways to make this quit bein’ your fault. Don’t do that. There’s somethin’ my granny told me that I want you to think about: Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Closing her eyes, Rainbow Dash answered, “I don’t think I’m either right now.” “Good. Then you take that answer and you clutch it to your chest. If you reckon you’re in the wrong, then you don’t let yourself convince you that you’re right. You take your wrongness with you and you accept what you got to do to make it right.” Once the sun touched the horizon, Rainbow Dash flew to Sugarcube Corner. She felt that should have been enough time for Pinkie to at least cool off. She said a few greetings to Mrs. Cake downstairs before heading up. At Pinkie’s door, she was greeted by the most unnerving sight: she had hung a sign on her door that read simply, “Party closed today.” She knocked on the door, but there was no answer. “Pinkie?” she called, but still nothing came. “Are you there?” After a few silent moments passed, she knocked again. “Pinkie, I’m coming in.” When no words came in protest, she bit down on the handle and turned it to open the door. Inside, Rainbow Dash found the familiar sight of Pinkie’s bedroom, but the entire sight felt wrong from the moment she laid eyes on it. The floor was clean of confetti and there wasn’t a single balloon hovering around the ceiling. Pinkie’s pet alligator, Gummy, sat oblivious on her dresser. Pinkie Pie herself lay motionless on the bed, facing away from the door. The curls in her mane and tail lay straight across her pillow and mattress. “Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash asked, but silence remained her only companion. “Look, I came by to see if you were okay. You seemed really upset.” Pinkie remained motionless. If she even heard Rainbow Dash, she didn’t show it. Trying again, Rainbow Dash told her, “Twilight and I both got carried away. We talked it over, though. We didn’t mean anything by it.” Still nothing. “After you left, she, uh…well, we talked and she admitted she had it wrong. We’re cool now. Nopony’s fighting.” The deafening silence continued unabated. “We’re all still friends, Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash pleaded. The next couple minutes felt like hours as Rainbow Dash stood, waiting for Pinkie to say something. To say anything. To scream, to cry, to just do something that showed she heard her. Finally, she looked over at Gummi, then sighed. “I guess I just wanted you to know we worked things out. I’ll see you around.” It was only when Rainbow Dash reached the doorknob that she heard Pinkie Pie speak. Her voice was quiet and strained. She only spoke three words, but they were there. “You used me.” Rainbow Dash stepped away from the door. “What? No, I didn’t!” Her mind raced over the last few weeks. She remembered accosting Pinkie in the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner. She remembered pestering her for sex. Trying to get her to sleep with her at the convention. She was alarmed by how many memories of their time together were now dominated by that same question: will you sleep with me? Before she could make sense of them, Pinkie clarified, “Today, at the park, you used me to hurt Twilight. That’s not okay, Rainbow Dash.” Her breath hitched. Even though she couldn’t see Pinkie’s face, Rainbow Dash could hear her tears through her voice. “I’m not a weapon. You don’t use me to hurt my friends. That is the biggest thing you don’t do.” Pinkie moved just slightly, curling inwards as she spoke the words that broke Rainbow Dash’s heart. “I don’t know if we can be friends anymore.” Rainbow Dash’s mind raced for a way to make this not be happening. She wanted to scream. To cry. To plead. Even to beg. Whatever she had to say to make Pinkie take it back, to make her see how much she cared about her, to make this not be a problem anymore. A thousand emotions raced through her mind, matched only by the number of stray thoughts and panicked ideas. But in the midst of it all, one voice rang out the loudest. You take your wrongness with you and you accept what you got to do to make it right. There was no fixing this, she realized. Anything she did to convince Pinkie would only cement her answer further. This was really it, and if she wanted any chance of having a friendship with Pinkie in the future, she needed to take her licks now. Sincerity, she realized, can be the hardest thing in the world. But it can also be the most important. Mustering the courage to speak, Rainbow Dash answered her. “You’re right. I’ve been terrible to you since the Crystal Ball. I took advantage of you. I pushed you. I wasn’t trying to hurt you, but I did and then I kept going like nothing was wrong. The truth is, I don’t get you, Pinkie. I keep making mistake after mistake because I don’t understand. But maybe I haven’t really tried. I alter course until everything evens out, but then it gets worse down the line.” Rainbow Dash drew in a deep breath as she got to the hard part. “Today, I crossed a line. I should have known better but I was angry and I wasn’t really thinking about you. So I hurt you, because I forgot you can be hurt. I kinda think of you as invincible. No matter what happens to you, you just bounce back. I really admire that.” Continuing, she said, “Today, I turned our friendship into a weapon, and that hurt you deeper than I thought you even could be. I actually do get that. Making ponies happy is such a core part of you, and I used that to hurt a friend. I guess what I’m trying to say is….” She hesitated a moment. These words had never come easily to her, and now that her heart lay bare and exposed, they felt next to impossible. Still, they needed to be said. “I’m sorry, Pinkie. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about everything I’ve done since the Ball. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you, and I’m especially sorry about what I did today. If we can’t be friends anymore, then I get that. It’s not any less than I deserve. But I’m going to miss you. Even before all this, you were one of my favorite ponies.” Pinkie’s head seemed to lift, but she remained turned away. “I was?” she asked. “Well, yeah. You’re Pinkie Pie! Who wouldn’t want to be your friend?” Carefully, Pinkie probed. “What did you like about me?” “Are you kidding? You’re hilarious! You sneeze confetti! You bend and stretch in impossible directions! Hey, do you remember that time you were screaming from a flagpole about Cranky Doodle being bald?” “You heard that?” “Everypony in town heard that. It was great!” “I really wasn’t trying to embarrass him,” Pinkie admitted. “It just happened that way.” “Yeah, but that’s one of the great things about spending time with Pinkie Pie. Things just happen. A pony never knows what she’s going to get when you’re around.” Pinkie didn’t answer that. Not wanting to push her boundaries, Rainbow Dash added, “Anyways, I should let you have time to think. I hope I’ll see you around, Pinkie.” She turned for the door, but Pinkie interrupted her departure once again. “Hey, Dashie?” “Yeah?” Pinkie rolled over, facing Rainbow Dash, and tentatively reached out her hoof. She pressed it into Rainbow Dash’s snout, offering a simple, “Boop,” in explanation. Rainbow Dash reached up and rubbed her nose. “Does this mean we’re still friends?” “I really liked your apology,” Pinkie admitted. Her mane and tail inflated as she spoke. “It meant a lot, coming from you. Thank you.” Rainbow Dash looked down at her hoof, trying to find the words to say. Her heart lay open and exposed, and she was terrified for what that meant. She hated feeling vulnerable like this. Still, for the sake of her friendship, she knew she had to ride it out. “I know I’ve been a bit crazy,” she admitted. “I still don’t get what happened that night in the Crystal Empire, but it changed something in me. I really wanted for you to love me.” “I do love you,” Pinkie answered her. “You do?” “Of course I do. I also love Rarity, Twilight, Fluttershy, and Applejack. You’re all my best and dearest friends, and I love each and every one of you.” Rainbow Dash sighed. “Right, that. But that’s just not the same.” “Why can’t it be?” Pinkie asked curiously. “I mean, you keep saying that but it doesn’t explain that night. I think that’s why I got so mad at Twilight. I’ve been trying to be okay with our friendship, but some of the things she was saying didn’t feel wrong to me. I’m pretty sure you don’t have sex with your friends.” Sitting up, Pinkie asked, “Why not? I did. And I’d do it again, too. If I want to show one of my friends how special they are by sharing myself with them, then why is that wrong?” “I don’t know,” Rainbow Dash admitted. “I guess it’s supposed to be something special?” “It is special to me. It’s not something I’d do with just anypony. Just the ones that are close to my heart.” “That’s not the same thing, though,” Rainbow Dash explained. “Look at AJ and Twilight. Look at how they hold each other when we’re all hanging out and it’s late. You wouldn’t do that with just a friend.” Pinkie patted a hoof down beside her. “Dashie, come up here and lay on the bed.” “What?” Rainbow Dash’s heart raced at Pinkie’s suggestion, but she wasn’t sure she should do it. “I…Pinkie, are you sure?” Pinkie nodded in affirmation, so Rainbow Dash carefully stepped up onto the bed and lay herself beside her. Without hesitation, Pinkie wrapped her limbs around Rainbow Dash and pulled her into herself. Rainbow’s face slid past Pinkie’s and came to rest on her neck. She felt strangely satisfied by the connection, simple though it was, and almost tuned out Pinkie’s voice when she asked, “If I want to cuddle with my friends, then why is that wrong?” Having to answer the question left a sour taste in Rainbow Dash’s mouth, but she knew it had to be talked about. “It doesn’t mean the same thing,” she reaffirmed. “Why not?” “Because it doesn’t have that emotional bit. You aren’t doing it out of love.” “I am so doing it out of love!” Pinkie retorted. “That’s why we’re cuddling right now: because I love you. I wouldn’t cuddle with Cranky or Bon Bon or Cheerilee. Just you girls.” “But it’s not the same because….” Rainbow Dash hated the words that were about to leave her snout, but she knew they were the right ones. The reason she was feeling had finally presented itself. “I guess it’s because I know you’d do it for others too.” “You want me to yourself,” Pinkie summarized. “Yeah. I think that might be it.” “That’s never going to happen. I’m sorry, Dashie, but this is who I am. It’s who I’m always going to be. It’s not about you; I’m not a pony you can own. My life is about spreading joy and happiness wherever it’s needed. Everypony deserves a little Pinkie Pie in their life.” “I get it,” Rainbow Dash answered. She was a little sad to hear Pinkie’s answer, and yet it also felt right at the same time. Somehow, even though she felt a little rejected, she also felt proud of the kind of pony her friend was. “So that’s really what that night was about? You just wanted to thank me for being a good friend?” Pinkie nodded. “It seemed like the right thing to do. I didn’t know it was your first time. That should have been more special. I’m so sorry, Dashie.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, it’s cool. It was special enough for me. I just didn’t know what you were doing. I couldn’t tell if you liked me or if you just really wanted to have sex.” Rainbow Dash felt Pinkie convulse at the suggestion. “Don’t even say that!” “What?” Pinkie pulled back a little so she could look Rainbow Dash in the eyes. “That I just wanted the sex. I would never!” Something about her desperate denial seemed off about Rainbow Dash, but--oh. Ohhh. In an instant, Pinkie’s evasiveness around the subject clicked with her. “Do you not like sex?” she asked. Pinkie shook her head. “It feels really weird and it’s kind of invasive,” she admitted. “But it makes my friends happy, so I’ll do it when I can.” Rainbow Dash’s guilt for the past few weeks doubled at Pinkie’s admission. “I didn’t know,” she offered weakly. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t get anything out of it,” Pinkie continued. “There’s usually cuddling afterwards, and that always feels really good!” Her front hooves wrapped tighter around Rainbow Dash. “It makes me feel appreciated.” Rainbow Dash squeezed her head back over onto Pinkie’s long neck. She closed her eyes, losing herself in the comfort. Her mind was still processing Pinkie’s answer. “You’re weird, Pinkie,” she ribbed. “Yeah, but you love me anyway!” Rainbow Dash’s eyes shot back open. “What?! I-I--” “Too late!” Pinkie giggled. “You already said it. You love me, you love me, Dashie-Dash loves me!” Rainbow Dash sighed. “That’s not going away any time soon, is it?” “Do you want it to?” “I don’t know.” Rainbow Dash leaned back to see Pinkie again. “I’ve been trying to figure out what we are since that night. We’re not lovers but we’re more than friends. I feel like I’m not any closer to that answer than I was when all this started.” Pinkie tilted her head sideways. “Why does there need to be an answer? Why can’t we just be Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash?” “I don’t know,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I can’t make sense of any of this. What am I supposed to do if I have needs you can’t fulfill?” Without hesitation, Pinkie answered, “Then you find somepony who can. I’ll always be here for you in all the ways that I can, but if you want a dedicated partner, then I’m not the pony you’re looking for. And if that’s so, then that’s okay. We’re all just looking for what makes us happy.” Rainbow Dash nodded. “I think I get it.” “But right now?” Pinkie looked into Rainbow Dash’s eyes. “This moment is all yours. You can’t own me, but you can own this moment. Nopony can take that from you.” Rainbow Dash sniffled in response. Was she crying? When had she started? She wasn’t supposed to do that in front of other ponies. She tried to wipe at her eye with a hoof, but Pinkie stopped her. The party pony reached her own hoof up to wipe away the teardrop that had rolled down her cheek. “It’s okay,” Pinkie told her. “It’s just you and me. You don’t have to be cool.” Rainbow Dash leaned her head in and squeezed Pinkie tightly with her forelegs. Pinkie, in turn, twined her tail around Rainbow’s. “So what do you want your moment to be? We could just keep talking if you’d like. Ooh! Or we could have makeup sex! I know how you like that!” Rainbow Dash took some time to balance her options. She knew that as long as Pinkie was doing it willingly, there would be times that she really needed to sleep with her. That wasn’t going to go away entirely. But it didn’t need to be what defined their friendship, either. Right here in this moment, it just felt inappropriate. Besides, maybe Pinkie was right. Maybe answers were overrated after all. Even so, she was wrong about this. This wasn’t her moment. She had plenty of moments over the past few weeks, and many of them had gone unappreciated. But this moment? This moment belonged to the both of them. With certainty in her voice, Rainbow Dash made her choice. “You know what, Pinkie? I think I’d just like to cuddle.”