//------------------------------// // Gathering Threads // Story: Is Immortality Really Worth It? // by Nadake //------------------------------// "Pinkie, I am Twilight, this is the real me. This is what I am always like. That... The Twilight you knew wasn't me, not really. It was me, and there was something else. Something less... just less. It was a parasite, living inside me for my entire life." "How can I know that you aren't that parasite yourself?" "What did you think when you saw the Twilight in Ponyville? What was the first thing you thought?" "That isn't Twilight. But neither are you." "Well, how do you feel? Which one of us do you think is real?" "Twilight, you just said that this thing can control you. You think that it can change the way you feel, so how I feel about it isn't something I can trust. Both of you aren't Twilight, and I don't know which one is the real you. Or if there is a real you left." "Would the imposter have told you all of that?" "Yes. They could be trying to confuse me by telling me, or they could be lying right now, and trying to confuse me that way." "Well, that is amazingly sharp." "That's why you aren't her." "I- I'm sorry?" Twilight flinched, backing away from her friend. She had been perfect, she had only said what she would have before. What did Pinkie mean? "That's how I know you aren't Twilight. Twilight... would never be that mean. She would be cruel." "Pinkie-" "STOP IT! I'M NOT A FOAL ANYMORE!" Pinkie's head snapped up, and she stalked forward. Her large cyan eyes, so often full of laughter, and more recently of tears, now steamed. It was as if her rage was a physical thing, boiling away her sorrow as she approached the unicorn. "I'm not a foal, I am not stupid. I act that way because it makes ponies happy, do you understand? I'm always trying to make everypony happy, no matter what. Even if I have to act silly to do it. I'm not stupid Twilight. I just... want to see them smile. You just don't get it. You're too busy trying to save everypony, do everything. When is the last time you did something for somepony else, personally?" "Pinkie, I don't understand what you mean. I'm always trying to help ponies." And it was true. All her life, Twilight had been helping ponies. Saving them. Nightmare Moon, Discord, every single time something had gone wrong, she had been there, helping others, stopping evil. "No, you try and help everypony. You think that if you help them all at once, then nopony will notice that you don't do a thing for them personally. Twilight the Savior, Twilight the Powerful. Twilight the Element of Magic. But how many knew the real you? How many of them have actually talked to you, even in Ponyville?" "What do you mean? I talk to many of them. All the time." "No. You speak with them. How many of them have ever talked to you? Six? Eight of them in your life? Lets see. Me, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Luna, and your precious Princess Celestia. That's it. Seven ponies, and all of them, all because you were told to. By her. Always her." "I- No. Pinkie, no. I'm not." "Shut up Twilight. You need to hear this for once. So for once in your life, be quite, and let me talk. You are not a kind, you are not generous. Everything that you do, every single thing you have ever done, is because you want something. You are greedy. You are arrogant. You are a foal. You think I'm stupid, you think that I can't do anything. But the truth, the truth is that you are scared to do anything yourself. You're afraid you'll mess up. That she won't like what you've done." "I, no I'm not. Don't say that. You don't kn-" Twilight stammered, sliding down the wall. She had backed away from the enraged earth pony, one step at a time. Now she was trapped, backed into a corner. "SHUT UP! All you've done is run away from your problems, the only time you do anything is when you have other ponies there to take the blame, so your Princess won't be angry at you. It was always about making sure you were pure, you were innocent, and that you are perfect. What would you do if she could see you now. Afraid of everything, just because you are afraid of her. Afraid of failing. Her." "NO! Pinkie, that's not it. Thats, not..." Her voice shook. She could feel the moisture as tears began to form, welling up from that dark place in her soul, the place she buried her concerns, her feelings. Her love. She had taken them, and buried them deep within herself. And the pink mare had torn down her barriers, letting the pent emotions flood. "Yes Twilight. It is." Pinkie's voice softened. The fury, that blazing anger, just died. Muscles thrumming with violence barely contained slacked, and Pinkie seemed to deflate even further as Twilight watched. "You ran because you were afraid, and now something... something is using you to hurt our friends. Can you really think anything is more important than that? Than our friendship?" "... Yes. Pinkie, Pinkie I love her. I love Celestia, more than anything else, even more than I love my friends. I'm sorry but... well, I'm sorry." "It's okay Twilight, I know you love her. But you need to stop that thing. The thing in Ponyville. Twilight, its hurting our friends right now, eating them like they were some sick food. She's tearing us all apart Twilight, and nopony else sees it." Pinkie's eyes began to water as she she spoke, and a single drop fell from her cheek, landing with a soft splash on the stone floor. "If you are anything like the real Twilight, you can't let her do that." Pinkie rushed towards Twilight, her head down as the tears fell like a sudden rain on the tiles she flew past. She sped across the few feet now separating them, and slammed into Twilight's shoulder. Pinkie bore down, and both mares ended lying on the tile, as Pinkie sobbed into the purple fur. "Shh, it's going to be okay Pinkie. I'll... I'll see what I can do about her. Whatever she is." At the words, the choked sobs eased, and Pinkie began to simply weep, all of her anger, her fear, and her sadness leaving her. They left a clean mare behind them, one with the scars of the battle etched over her heart, but clean nonetheless. "Fluttershy, are you there? Come on, you said you'd help me with practice today. Fluttershy, open the door. Open the door or I'm coming through the window." The banging on the cottage door stopped, and Fluttershy could hear the flapping of wings as Rainbow took flight. Just beyond the door, the small pegasus sat cuddled in a blanket. Cowering beneath may well have been a better way to describe her, as she sat shivering, the ugly marks marring the shy beauty of her face. The cut along her cheek throbbed with each and every beat of her heart, the bruise below it a steady ache whenever she blinked. And with the tears threatening revolt, blinking had been little more than a constant flutter of her eyelids. The pain would have been unbearable, but for the fear which gripped her mind. Fear of the pain, fear of Twilight, and fear of herself. That last was the one which horrified her. The pain, that was nothing, after treating injured animals, Fluttershy was used to a random swing of a bears great limb breaking a bone or two. Pain she could handle. Nor was it the fear of Twilight which so rattled the mare. That was at least a fear she could understand, even if she could not control it. Twilight was a known entity, and one who Fluttershy could, in theory, avoid. No, it was herself she was truly afraid of. The other fears made sense. Fear of pain was natural, something eveything has. Fear of Twilight came from that natural fear, since it was the unicorn who created that pain. What scared her more than anything else, was that she hadn't run. She hadn't even called for help. Because she had loved it. The burning pain as her cheek was split, the warm feeling of the blood dripping down her face. She had been hungrier, almost to the point of physical need, after Twilight had attacked her, and would have done anything the unicorn asked, if only she would bring Fluttershy the relief she craved. But now that the night was over, now that Twilight was no longer standing beside her, her normal reactions to blood and pain surfaced. The instant the mare had left the door, Fluttershy had gone into convulsions. Her stomach had heaved, her gorge rising at the hot metallic scent of blood. She couldn't vomit, but her belly tried its very best to convey what should be done. She had curled into a tight ball on the floor by her bed, simply dropping to the ground where Twilight had left her. She had dreamed there, on the hardwood floor of her small cottage, far away from anypony to see her unconscious tears, or hear her whimpers and sobs. She had been taken away in her dreams, stolen from the dank crypt her own mind had locked her in, and taken to a quite glade. And she hadn't been alone. There had been a strong, warm body with her, somepony for her to cry on, to sleep beside. That had been wonderful, to feel safe once more. But it had been cruel beyond belief. To finally feel that peace, Fluttershy had never wanted it to end. She almost wished she had died, that she had been trapped in that dream, in that quiet glade forever, alone but for that warm body, and comfortable silence. The pain had returned with the morning light, and Fluttershy had awakened with tears tracing along well worn paths. Somehow, drawing strength she didn't think she had, she had pulled herself to her hooves, and set about her daily routine. She had fed her pets, and watered her garden. She had fixed a light breakfast for herself, and knowing that she needed to eat, had forced the toast down. Then she had pulled the small blanket off of her sofa, and wrapped it around herself. Then she sat there, on the hard floor. Since that morning, she hadn't moved from that spot, hadn't spoken, hadn't even cried. She hadn't so much as twitched an ear when Rainbow had begun banging on her door, shouting about needing to see her. She heard a loud banging from the second story of the small cottage, and rattling glass. "Fluttershy? Are you in here?" A soft thump came from upstairs, Rainbow alighting on the bedroom floor. "Fluttershy? Are you ok- FLUTTERSHY!" Rainbow interrupted herself, whipping around the door and speeding down the stairs. She stopped at the foot of the stairs, scanning the small room of the lower floor for her friend. Eyes wide in panicked fear, she began to move into the darkened space, trying to avoid the many cages and feed bags which littered the inside of the cottage. The room wasn't large, but beneath her blanket, Fluttershy looked like nothing so much as a covered cage in the darkened room. She might have gone through the entire search unseen by the frantic pegasus, save a chance trip on behalf of Rainbow Dash, which landed her neatly on Fluttershy's back, sending the mare sprawling. "Fluttershy! Are you okay?" Rainbow grabbed the smaller mare, shaking her softly. Even in the dim light, she could make out the outline of the gash over her cheek, and the discoloration of her jaw where the bruise lay throbbing. "Oh, Celestia Fluttershy. I was so worried." She pulled the yellow mare in, pressing the soft hair of the pink mane against her own multi-hued mess.