//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3: Canterlot Conundrum  
// Story: Best of Friends? 
// by Wonderbolt Writer 
//------------------------------//

 Celestia lazily plopped her royal bottom down onto her throne.  Her eyelids drooped downward almost as if somepony were forcibly trying to close them. But that wasn't surprising given the long and tiresome day she had just endured. She had sat through no less than half a dozen meetings and amusingly tried to muscle her way through Bulk Bicep's mass in paperwork. Not to mention listening to the various grievances of the populace and four different social appearances she had somehow managed to cram into her schedule and attend.

At least now she had only one obstacle left to face. After lowering the sun and raising the moon all on her own now all she could do was hope and pray that the kingdom could hold together peaceably for just one more hour. Then everything would be Luna's problem. That thought made her inwardly squee with joy. Herself having went through a doozy of a night the day before, Luna had asked if her 'ever so loving and benevolent sister' could find it in her sunny little heart to grant her some extra sleepy time.

Of course she obliged. How hard could it be to hold down the fort for just one extra hour?

"Sister!!" Luna's cries could be heard coming from down the hall. "Cele are you there?!"

Celestia's head jolted up, her mind bounding back from the edge of blissful rest. Despite the urgent tone in Luna's voice she casually rose up and took a wobbly flight down to meet with her sister. "Luna, w-what..." She paused, letting out a small yawn. "What's going on?"

Luna took on a defensive stance walking a protective circle around Celestia with her back turned to her. Her horn was aglow with magic and wings fully unfurled as if preparing to repel an attack from any direction. "I can't say for sure what is happening. Invasion? Rebellion? A surprise party perhaps?"

"Luna, have you lost your marbles again?" Celestia asked, not sure if her own lack of rest was beginning to make her hallucinate all this or not.

"I assure you I am in my right mind." Luna replied, finally taking note of her elder sister's dilapidated state. "Though I am not sure I can say the same for you. It is most surprising that you haven't noticed yourself."

"Noticed what?"

"That our castle home has become deserted. No guards, staff or anypony to be found for that matter."

"Are you s-sure?" Celestia rubbed her eyes, trying to shake away and remnant sleepiness. "Maybe you just ate some bad cookies or-"

"Aah! This isn't about cookies! Come and take a look for yourself."

Straightening her crown and turning on her magical hair flow, Celestia, the Princess of Equeastria was once again moderately-ready for action. "Alrght come on, we can look together and finally get to the bottom of all this."

Just as they began to investigate, Luna came to a sudden stop. "Wait. Do you hear something?"

Behind the closed-door entrance to the throne room they heard a mighty battle cry.

"WHAATAAAWW! HIYA-OOOOOWAAAAH! ACHA!" All at once the massive door bashed open with a single mighty kick. In leapt a solid stone pony, after doing several flips around the room he settled down into a Crane stance. "HUUUC-AWHAAA!" 

Celestia's eyes widened. "Luna, I'm scared.... I think I'm losing my mind."

"Not to worry dear sister, for that makes two of us."

... 


Discord adjusted the dial on his night vision goggles. "Contacting Rock Mama and Cotton Candy. Target is not in sight. I repeat, target is not in sight."

"Wait, why am I Rock Mama?" Pinkie asked. "Shouldn't I be Cotton Candy?" 

Discord ripped off his goggles and tossed them to her. "Honestly the things I put up with. Here, just take these and see if you can find anything."

Pinkie slapped them onto her face and took a gander. "Hmm, no sign of any chocolate griffons named Grover or Boulder."

"This is ridiculous!" he said. "We've been in Canterlot for like, thirty seconds already and haven't found squat yet." Just then Discord spotted something and reached into a nearby thorn bush, pulling out a large scroll with the word 'squat' written across it. He quickly tossed it aside like a bad joke. "I mean c'mon how hard can it be to find those lil' monsters!"

"Boulder is not a monster, Discord. He's just misunderstood." Maud's fiery passion was deceivingly camouflaged behind her bland words.

Pinkie strapped on a helmet she had pulled out from nowhere before dipping her hooves into some mud and smearing it all over her face in a chaotic pattern as 'war paint'. "Attention Kooky Grandpa. The target is now in sight, I repeat, the target is now in sight!"

"Just who are you calling 'Kooky Grandpa?'' asked Discord, a slight scowl on his face.

"You, silly."  Pinkie said, suddenly rushing out towards her creation. "Charge!" 

Seconds ago the chocolate griffon had landed not more than thirty feet away, toppling over some garbage cans that it then proceeded to rummage through and eat as it's dinner. Though it didn't take long for the creature to notice the screeching cotton-candy colored pony barreling toward it. Grover sucked down the remainder of the refuse he had been guzzling, before attempting a quick flight escape. Fortunately his feeble chocolaty wings were unable to react fast enough.

Pinkie pounced atop him ensnaring herself in a swirl of angry chocolate griffon as it tried desperately to get away from her iron grip. "Hurry Discord!"

Discord quickly did as he was instructed and zapped the beast with a douse of magic turning it back into the sweet statue it had been before.

Maud trotted over and tapped at it's beak unintentionally breaking nearly a third of it off. "That's one down and Boulder to go."

Pinkie popped one of the shattered beak pieces into her mouth. "Mmmm...tasty. Can't let all this go to waste." Mouth open wide she began swallowing up her art project, ingesting whole heaps of sugar and chocolate just as easily as she would breathe air. Then to the disgust of her present company she had broken through to the liquid mound of pure garbage eaten moments ago by the Griffon. "Ooooo, the gooey center."

Discord pursed his lips, holding up a paw to his mouth to prevent himself from blowing chunks. He felt Maud place her hoof on him. "My sister, she is a 'special' kind of Pony."

As soon as Pinkie was finished with her final slurp she stood back up, taking off her helmet in favor of a lengthy red headband which she tied around her noggin. "Now, let's go get our Boulder back!!"

"Okay, He's this way." Maud said, walking off toward the castle.

Nobody objected to her actions, choosing only to follow. After all there was nopony who knew Boulder better than she did.


...

"By the stars, what kind of creature is this?!" Luna asked as she raised a barrier to defend both herself and Celestia against a new onslaught of attacks from the rock armored pony.

Celestia chipped in some magic of her own, fortifying the shield. "I'm not sure. I've never seen something like this before!"

For the past several minutes the two sisters had been busy surviving against a flurry of flying kicks and punches. Boulder's rock-hard body and incredible strength made for a durable and worthy opponent. Worse still was his incredulous speed.

A bead of sweat trickled down Luna's face. "Whatever this thing is we must subdue it now!"

Sun-Butt nodded her agreement. "Okay drop the barrier on three. One, Two, Thr-"

"No, stop." Maud and party burst onto the scene. It wasn't hard seeing as there was no longer any kind of door there. "Boulder, you know better than to terrorize our Alicorn overlords."

The stone destroyer glanced her direction, his original basalt body still visible jutting slightly out of his left eye.

Discord began to feel it, a strange magic emanating from the usually sunshine and rainbows pink pony. It felt like all joy was leaving the room...

Pinkie stepped up to bat. "That thing isn't boulder. But he's still in there somewhere, I can feel it! I'm gonna munch and crunch him down to size!"

Discord burst into an uproarious laughter. "Hahaha, what are you going to do? Eat Boulder? Hahahaha!"

She tightened her headband. "Yessiree! Back home on the rock farm, I'd eat three square meals of rocks a day, sometimes even four."

"Wait, are you serious?" It was about that time her usual fluffy pink mane and tail began to deflate and straighten out. Pinkamena was in full swing.

Maud took some steps back pulling Discord back along with her. "She sometimes gets like this when Equestria is in danger, especially if the threat is rock-based. And she will be counting on you to clean up any of the damages with your magic."

"D-damages?" he echoed. He raised an eyebrow as well as a paw in preparation to 'snap' away the nuisance formally known as Boulder but Maud stopped him, shaking her head.

"Hey!" Pinkamena addressed her adversary. "Prepare to be reduced to rubble you fake!"

Boulder cracked his neck, signaling acceptance of her challenge. 

At this point Celestia and Luna had enough of being mere spectators. Each took a stance, preparing to unleash magical hell on the abomination that Maud's once peaceful pet had become.

"It's okay, I got this. Rocks don't feel pain." said Pinkamena.

"Are you mad?" Celestia countered. "We've had a hard enough time with him ourselves!"

"Oh it'll be fine, rocks are kinda her thing." said Discord. "Don't worry if anything happens I'll take care of it all personally. I really want to see where this goes!"

Against the turmoil in her mind Celestia took steps back and nodded her approval. Luna as it were, followed her big sister's example.

Pinkie addressed the rock-hemoth. "Thanks for waiting Boulder. Now let's begin!"

In a lightning blitz he flashed over to Pinkie taking a swing.

She dodged the blow, nimbly following through with a limb-severing headbutt to creatures front left leg. As it reeled back in shock she slid in toward it's rear, twisting her body and delivering a shattering buck to both the rear limbs. A leg sweep was all that was needed to finish the dismemberment. With only one leg remaining Boulder failed to keep from collapsing. Despite the destruction that had befallen him he lay silent. She moved in, ready to finish it all with a mighty hoof-stomp.

But in a move that shocked all, he clasped onto her hooves with hands of his own. The freshly grown limbs each sported three fingers in addition to a thumb.

Each of his legs had grown back as well, bigger and stronger. A new muscular torso erupted out from his horse body. With his transformation now complete there was one word on everypony's mind. Tirek. At nearly eight feet tall he resembled the monster that had terrorized Equestria quite a bit, every piece of him had changed save for his face.

Discord paced about frantically. "This is crazy, and believe me I know crazy! Am I the only one seeing this?"

Wasting no time Boulder changed his grip from her hooves to clasping her entire body in one hand. He spun her around smashing her against a pillar and nearly breaking it all the way through.

Thinking quick she chomped down on his hand and devoured enough to squeeze free, flowing right into a glorious uppercut. It took only a second to grind the rubble between her teeth into dust and spit it all right into his eyes, blinding him. Once he was able to see again, she was gone.

"Yoohoo over here!" She tapped on his shoulder. Craning his head he found her standing on his back poised to fire her party cannon. Which everyone guessed was probably not filled with soft, cupcake-scented confetti.

*KAA-POW!*

The blast up and blew his noggin clean off. "Party's over..." she quickly flipped down and over to his head. A few hoofsy-chisels here and bite marks there finally freed up Boulder from his dream body's eye socket. 

Pinkamena trotted over to Maud. As she placed the stone safely back into her sister's hooves the party-pony poofed back into her usual mane, tail and most importantly, happy go lucky personality. "Here ya go Maud!" she said cheerfully.

Celestia approached the Draconequus, her semi-wrathful eyes not breaking eye-contact. "Care to explain all of this, Discord?"

"M-Me?!" he popped into full on defensive mode. "What makes you think I had anything to do with this?"

The staring continued with Luna and even Maud joining in.

"All right fine, it kinda was! But those things were only supposed to come to life and wreck a little bit of havoc. So where did all of that come from?!" He motioned toward Boulder's slowly dissolving previous form. Celestia seemed to only get angrier at that remark so he quickly snapped his paw, fixing all of the damage and adding in a few pony-cherub statues to spruce up the place.

"Honestly Discord, this was far too much." Celestia let out a sigh. "Should I start considering you an en-"

"Princess Celestia." interrupted Maud. "It wasn't all his fault. I share in the blame as well."

Celestia's mood softened up all at once. "Really? That is surprising."

Pinkie slid in, bowing to both royal siters. All the while dramatic tears shot forth from her eyes. "Pleeeese, oh please, Princesses, don't punish Maud, punish me instead!"

Luna stepped forward, looking down at her. "And what did you do Pinkie?"

"I duunnooo!" Pinkie continued her sobbing. "But Maud's a good pony and I d-don't wanna see anything bad happen to her!"

"There, there, Pinkie." Luna comforted her with a few soft pats to the head. "I think Celestia and I can find it in our hearts to forgive all this, right?" She turned to her own older sibling flashing her a big ol' pair of puppy dog eyes.

Celestia finished wiping away Pinkie's tears using a bit of tissue. "But of course we can! Oh Luna, I love you so much!!" She ran in for a hug with her and Pinkie. By now all three were in complete tears hugging it out. Pinkie being Pinkie stretched out her hoof several feet and wrangled Maud into the cuddle circle.

"Oh well that's just dandy." Discord mumbled to himself, feeling a bit left out. "Honestly does anypony, other than Fluttershy, care about me at all?"

"I do." came the answer from Maud.

He stood silent for a second, a bit speechless. "Well I-I guess I stand corrected."

"Come on Discord." Maud motioned for him to join in.

"Well, I guess I could.  I mean if you insist." Discord wrapped his entire body around all of them. "You know, this...is kinda nice."

After hug time finished and the crying mostly stopped, Celestia was first to speak. "I don't suppose you three would want to spend the night here in the castle?"

"Sure!" Pinkie was all to quick to answer.

"Alright fine just no more of the crying or the hugging." Discord leaned his whole body over Maud's back, making sure to be as light as a feather. "I suppose I'll be retiring now. Will you be coming up soon, my little Rocky-bear?" That last part to everypony's great shock was addressed to Maud of all ponies.

Her reply was of similar taste. "In a minute, Ruby-roo. You go on ahead."

And just like that he poofed away up to the castle suite smiling and acting like there wasn't anything usual at all about what had just happened.

The collective jaws of the Royals and Pinkie were dropped to the ground. Several thoughts ran through each of their minds. When? What? How? I really am going crazy aren't I? That last thought was Celestia's, she was now certain that staying awake past her bed time had somehow done irreparable damage to her mind.

"What?" Maud deadpanned. "We were just messing with you."

...

~Half an hour later

"Pinkie, w-what happened to us getting some shut eye?" Discord yawned, opening his jaw wide enough to devour a full dozen donuts plus an entire mug of hot cocoa, cup and all.

"Sleep? We can't sleep!"  Pinkie choked down her fiftieth maple bar. "Not when Donut Joe's is twenty-five percent off at night! But you know what? After today I guess you could say that he really became a bolder Boulder! Hahaha, right Maud?"

Maud sat on a stool next to Discord, dead asleep and holding a cup of hot chocolate in her hoof that Boulder sat inside 'drinking'. A glazed twist sat unfinished on the counter near her resting head.

"See, Maud's into it!" Pinkie picked up the twist. "You gonna finish this one?" She didn't even wait for an answer, down the hatch it went.

Discord wobbled on his little stool, feeling quite uneasy from the intoxicating mix of sugar and lack of sleep. Vision blurring he poked Maud's mane softly with a spoon. "Are you d-dead?" After completing that sentence he fell off the stool, collapsing to the ground as a sound asleep little spaghetti noodle of choas.

"WHO'S UP FOR DONUT NUMBER FIFTY-TWO?!" Pinkie shouted with glee.