22:12 FooBar95 Joined the Chat
22:12 Greyhound: Holy shit
22:12 Greyhound: Foo
22:13 Greyhound: is that you?
22:13 FooBar95: yeah, it is.
22:13 Greyhound: Holy Shit, where the fuck have you been
22:13 FooBar95: I can’t say, sorry
22:13 Greyhound: can’t, or won’t
22:15 Greyhound: Foo?
22:15 FooBar95: Let’s just say it a mix of both
22:15 Greyhound: fine, then where the fuck are you?
22:15 FooBar95: Somewhere in asia
22:15 FooBar95: In some shitty internet cafe
22:16 FooBar95: using a shitty dial up connecting to connect to this shitty IRC
22:17 Greyhound: You know, your dead man switch activated months ago
22:17 Greyhound: I still have most of it if you need it.
22:17 FooBar95: Keep it
22:18 FooBar95: I just need you to do something
22:18 Greyhound: that’s how you greet me after eight months?
22:18 Greyhound: no “Sorry for dropping off the face of the goddamn earth”? just a "Do something for me"? Seriously
22:18 FooBar95: plz
22:19 Greyhound: Fine
22:19 FooBar95: You still live in chicago right?
22:19 Greyhound: Yeah
22:19 FooBar95: I need you to send a message to a reddit account
22:19 FooBar95: /u/BlueHairedGoddess
22:19 FooBar95: I need you to say this.
22:21 Foobar95: “You asked for me, but I’m sorry I can't answer your request for the time being. This man can, however. And I would trust him with my life.”
22:21 Greyhound: foo, what the fuck are you getting me into
22:21 FooBar95: I swear on my life, if you send this message, then when everything is over, you will come out a richer man. I’m not talking about you usual six and five figure contracts, I’m talking about seven to eight.
22:21 Greyhound: You fucking cunt, what the fuck are you putting me up to.
22:22 FooBar95: Sorry, gotta go
22:22 FooBar95 has left chat
22:22 Greyhound: Oh dont you fucking dare leave me like that you cunt
22:23 Greyhound: GOD FUCKING DMANIT YOU WHORE
Chance stared at the text in front of him. Should he do it? Should he not?
22:24 Greyhound: God fucking damnit foo I swear on all that is holy, the next time i see you i am ripping you a new asshole.
Chance tabbed out of the terminal and opened up his browser, entering the URL for reddit.com, before sending a message to said user. The user seemed to be a lurker, nothing on their profile at all, except for a ‘1-year’ badge.
Before sending the message, he added a note to the top of it.
“Hey, an old friend of mine contacted me and told me to send this to you, I have no idea what the fuck it means, but he thinks you might.” He typed before copy and pasting the message FooBar typed into the text box. He hesitated for a moment before sending the message.
Already regretting his decision, he swiveled his chair to face the rest of his apartment. Staring at the clothes strewn all over. His heart pounded out of his chest as he stared at his messy bed. His eyes throbbed as he looked over at the window, allowing the light from the street light to enter the room.
After a few minutes of thought, he ultimately decided that the best way to deal with this would be to go to bed. Stumbling out of his chair, he made his way to the bed and collapsed on top of it. Pulling the blanket over his body, he wondered what the hell he had just done. He let that thought guide him into his sleep.
</>
The good thing about being a light sleeper is that if anything happens while you’re sleeping, you’ll probably wake up because of it.
The bad thing about being a light sleeper is, you might not like what you wake up to.
And considering that Chance was staring down the barrel of two revolvers, he really did not like what he had woken up to. Two men, dressed in trench coats, and fedoras were standing over Chance, while he laid down on the bed. As if this was some shitty detective novel. He also noticed that the door to his apartment was wide open, and the sun was pouring through the window.
“Greyhound?” The man on the left asked. “We need you to come with us.”
Chance thought for a few moments before responding. “Seriously? Overcoats and Fedoras?” The two men holding guns looked at each other in confusion. “Is this the goddamn 50’s? Is this some shitty de-” Chance started to say, only to interrupt himself by launching his fist into the stomach of the man on the right, causing him to keel over and drop the gun, but before Chance could take down the man on the left, he felt the butt of a gun smash into his face, causing him to blackout.
</>
When Chance woke up from his involuntary nap, the first thing he noticed was that the back of his head hurt. A lot. The next thing he noticed was that a bag was over his head, he was gagged, and his hand and feet were bound.
“Are you sure that he can be trusted?” A male voice asked.
“Nova has apparently vouched for him, but we still need to ask him a few questions.” A female motherly voice replied. Chance took this opportunity to start moving around, spitting out the loose fitting gag.
“Owww, my fucking head.” He said, continuing to squirm within his bonds.
“Oh look, he’s awake.” The woman said. Chance could hear heavy footsteps get closer to him. The bag soon came off his head, dragging the gag with it. He looked up to see a well-built man, with short blue hair holding the bag while walking back over to a woman.
The dark-skinned woman standing before him was, for lack of a better word, beautiful. She was wearing skinny jeans and a leather jacket. But the most notable thing about her was her hair. Her hair seemed to be naturally colored blue.
“Alright, who wants me dead today? Yakuza? Hell’s Angels? The fucking Italians? It better not be the Italians, I mean seriously, you think they would get the message after I literally cut off one of their soldier's dicks before dropping him off right outside of one of their safe houses.”
The man and woman standing in front of Chance looked at each other before the woman spoke.
“Chance Rockwell, AKA, Greyhound. Born 26 years ago. You have Bachelors Computer Science with a focus in Cyber Security and were hired straight out of college to a startup company. When it went under a few years ago, you turned to crime, and soon made a name for yourself due to your brutal "let god sort them out," method when it came to dealing with problems. The only thing we can’t figure out is how you know Nova.” She rattled off.
“How the hell did you figure all that out?” Chance asked nervously, causing him to double down on his efforts of escaping the binds.
“We have our ways, now, let me ask again, how do you know Nova?”
“Who?”
“The pony who told you to send the message.”
“Pony?”
“Well, in this case, person.”
“Wait, are you talking about Foobar?” Chance asked.
“Is that what he goes by?” The woman asked.
“I guess.” Chance said, sitting up somehow. “Why the hell should I tell you anyways? And who the hell are you people?”
“To answer your first question, you don’t have to, but it would expedite this whole thing. To answer your second question, we’ll tell you later.”
Chance scoffed and shook his head. “Fuck it, fine. I’ve known him just over a decade, the dude helped me through high school and college. Even though we’ve never met face to face, I can confirm that he was never born in 1995, despite what his name may say. Right before I graduated from college, he talked around and helped me get that job you mentioned. When I turned to crime after the company went under, he gave me a contact of his who specializes in black market weaponry, and enough money to buy a pistol to protect myself. Along with putting out a good word about my skills through his usual networks. Of course, I paid him back as soon as I got back up on my feet, but I always found it odd that he would do something like that for a stranger.
“Considering how active he was at the time, it surprised everyone when he went completely dark eight months ago. At first, we thought it was him taking a break for a few days, but after a week, we got worried. Those who knew him in real life tried to visit him, or track him down, but in the end, it was a wild goose chase. I guess the final nail in the coffin was when his dead man’s switch went off three months after his disappearance.”
“Dead man’s switch?” The woman interrupted.
"its a sort of failsafe, and if the user and fails to reset it after a given time, it activates. So if you die, or something like that, it sends out a message and stuff.” Chance replied. “Should I continue?”
“Please.”
“Foo had a dead man’s switch set for three months, he could reset it at any time, but if it had been three months since the last reset, then it would run. His dead man’s switch did the usual thing of sending out a letter to his friends and whatnot, but for me, a special note was given. Along with becoming the executor of his estate. Let’s just say that I went to a dark place when I got that note. All this time I hoped that he was alive, I kept funneling the money he left behind into long term storage container expenses that he had set up before he left. and I’m glad I did that, because I now know for a fact the bastard is alive. The first time I saw him again, he asked me to contact some Reddit user, I guess that user was you?”
The two standing in front of him looked at each other before nodding. The man moved towards Chance, while the woman started speaking.
“You would be correct for the most part. I guess I should introduce myself.” She began, as the man unlocked the bonds restraining Chance. “My name is Princess Luna, I come from a place far, far away called Equestria.” Chance stood up as the man walked away from him.
“Right, and I’m the goddamned tooth fairy, nice to meet you. Do you really expect me to believe that?” Chance began. “Show me something that can prove it.” All of a sudden, he felt a pressure inside of his head and heard Luna’s voice. ‘How’s this?’ it asked. Chance stared at Luna, who had a smirk on her face. “What the fuck.” Was all he muttered.
</>
Chance laid down on a cot inside of the warehouse. His mind having been thoroughly blown by everything he had just learned.
“Hey, buddy, you ok?” The man with short blue hair asked, seated next to Chance. He had later learned that his name was ‘Shining Armor.’
“I just learned that a whole new species exists and that a father figure in my life is one of them, how the fuck do you think I feel?” Chance moaned before sitting up. “I don’t even know why the hell you twats want me in the first place!”
Multiple ponies, disguised as humans, milling around Chances location looked over due to his outburst, but a look from Shining Armor sent them on their way.
“Because we wish to hire you.” Luna said, walking up to the pair.
“I mean, that’s obvious, why else would I be here. I want to know why the hell you need me.”
“A few years ago, we thought we had succeeded in our mission of destroying an evil pony called Sombra. In reality, we had only partially succeeded. Instead of being destroyed, he was merely transported to this world.”
“So? Why not leave him alone?”
“We thought about it, but ultimately decided that it would not be a viable option. Somehow, he has become a mob boss of multiple gangs around this city, and his influence is growing at an alarming rate. So much so, that he is influencing politics of this land in such a way that it is beneficial to him.”
“So let me guess, you guys want to bring him back home and imprison him or something, right?” Chance asked.
“Well, no.” Luna replied. “As far as the majority of Equestria is concerned, Sombra is dead. We would like to make that a reality once and for all.” Chance stared at Luna before rubbing his temples with his hands.
“You fucks want to give me a contract after all of this.” Chance groaned, staring off towards one of the walls of the warehouse before his head suddenly snapped towards Luna and he started glaring. “You know what? I have a question.” Chance said angrily. “Why the hell should I help you? You fucks woke me up, and promptly knocked me out via pistol butt to the face. Then when I wake up again, I’m gagged, bound, and blind. Taking all of this into consideration, what the hell is stopping me from telling you cunts to fuck off?”
“Absolutely nothing. Other than the chance to meet Nova in person, and $10 mill in total, with half up front.”
“5.5 and you cover equipment costs.”
“Deal.”
Chance groaned once more. "If this contract doesn't get me killed, I'm gonna retire to the goddamn Carribean and not look back."