Session 59.0 Kendell2
After Human Twilight had found the Music Castle in Rainbows and Crystals, she'd gotten interested about them and started looking around.
"Hmm...interesting..."
"What?" asked pony Twilight, looking over.
"The Castle near Ponyville is listed as the Castle of Friendship, and is where you can send gifts and mail to friends on the server, as well as ask for a party and quite a few mini games," human Twilight explained, showing the world map. "The one in Unicornia is listed as the Castle of Rainbows, and is where in this universe rainbows are made, and where the Rainbow Celebration event is held and along with a number of Unicornia's Mini Games...as well as implications that some event that hasn't been implemented..." she said, noting that there was a 'Rainbow Princess' mentioned but not present in the current build. "Then there's the Castle of Music I found that's still a WIP..."
"I'm calling it now: there's music rhythm game there," Rainbow Dash replied, which she'd actually be fine with. She did like music.
Sci-Twi nodded, then pointed to a few spots on the map. "There are several open areas with nothing in them yet and marked as 'no build' areas. Four more to be exact. I think the final version of the game will have seven castles..."
"Cool, so gonna be lots to do?" asked Applejack asked, giving a smirk. She was enjoying what was already in the game, so more wasn't a
"Looks like it." The human version of Twilight then gave a blink. "Wait...looks like they added another castle in the last update..."
The group quickly headed there and entered it, finding the sign reading the 'Castle of Family.'
Like Music, it was still rather barren, but there were options to make 'family portraits', both with siblings one had in the game and, in a nice touch, to create in game avatars for parents or siblings.
Rainbow Dash, to her surprise, found her mother had apparently had them programmed to be mother and daughter in game.
"Yah know, that's a sweet touch," Applejack commented, ever the family lover, but frowned at the thought of making parents, and just made one for Big Mac and linked her and Applebloom's in game avatar as siblings.
Human Twilight nodded, quickly doing the same with Shining Armor, while Pony Twilight needed some time to think when it came to Minty. "It is...also, note that Cutie Mark are Procedurally Generated..."
"Hey, look..." said Fluttershy, pointing to the back of the room.
There stood what was obviously Sombra's normal, mortal unicorn form and Radiant Hope from World of Hoofcraft rendered in the game's art style, both standing in front of a door.
The group approached and spoke with them...
"Sorry, we're not quite ready yet to open this door, and what's behind it is a big secret for now," Radiant Hope said, using the human world's voice.
Comically enough, Sombra's options had some amusing ones.
'Have you ever ruled an Empire?' Applejack clicked.
"Ruled an Empire? I do not believe so, why do you ask?"
"Hehe, mythology gag..." said Pinkie Pie with a chuckle.
"Wonder what's behind it..." said Twilight. She also took note of a family portrait of the two behind them...only the two of them. She knew the two were married in real life, but that wasn't an option in game yet.
---
"Daddy!" said AI Screwball, popping up on her creator's computer.
'Yes dear?' Discord typed back.
"Look what I made!" she called, clicking and showing a screenshot of a family portrait made in Rainbows and Crystals, with her and a ponified Discord with a happy expression.
Discord blinked, then gave an uncharacteristically warm smile. 'Thanks dear...' he typed, rubbing her mane with his cursor.
Session 59.1 Alex Warlorn
"Fluttershy? What's this?" Rarity wanted to say it looked like a piece of modern art, one of Sweetie Belle's earliest attempts at artist expression, or a bottle of glue that fell into a trash heap.
"Oh, that's my dream chart."
"Uh, Fluttershy, I saw your dream chart. It was nothing like this."
"Oh that's my OTHER dream chart, it's the one Discord helped me with before I showed it to those three so-called 'experts.'"
"Ah... I see."
-
Rarity slammed the door open, looking at the ponies enduring the antics of Fluttershy's brother in no small douses.
"Get out, you're all exonerated."
Session 59.2 Alex Warlorn
"What do you have to say for yourselves?"
"That wasn't us! That was someone corrupted by out of control magic!" Adagio said using her centuries of experience to make herself sound like the cornered victim of circumstances.
Sonata Dusk said with a straight face, "I can't remember anything, what are we doing here?"
Aria Blaze said deadpan, "We were under the control of evil alien parasites, so we're completely excused for our actions."
"A worst bad guy betrayed us?"
It was swallowed, hook, line, and sinker. People did excuse Midnight Sparkle, Nightmare Moon, Gaea Everfree, and Discord, for those reasons after all.
Session 59.3Ardashir
"Okay, Dash, you cast your geas spell on the wicked Changeling Queen to make her stop doing evil," Twilight rolled the dice out of sight and frowned. "And she fails her save. So..." She started to speak in a overblown imitation of Chrysalis' voice.
Chrysalis, her eyes swirling, mumbled dully. "Yes, Mistress, I will never invade another country ever again. I will allow my starving Changelings to decide for themselves how they want to live their lives. And if I break my word, may your dread and dire spell leave me too weak to even crawl."
"Hah! Well, that's the end of that problem." Dash looked smug. Twilight rolled her eyes as the blue pegasus said, "Now I know why you unicorns love to mind control everypony all the time."
"WE DON'T MIND CONTROL EVERYPONY --" Twilight stopped yelling and smiled. "Okay... so now I suppose you tell the Changelings what you did?"
Dash smirked as the rest of her friends looked uncertain.
"Eh, maybe this ain't such a smart idea --"
"Sure it is," Dash waved one hoof regally. "I say, 'Okay, formerly evil bug ponies, you can go and live in peace and, eh, do whatever it is you guys do when you're not obeying Queen Cheeselegs'."
"Sure," Twilight said with an increasingly evil smirk. "One Changeling flies up in front of them all and says, 'Did you hear that? The ponies have mind controlled our queen to make her do what they want! Unless we stop them, we're next!' And they all look at you, snarling like the biggest hornets in the world."
"Let me guess, dear," Rarity scowled at Dash. "They all attack us?"
"You got it."
"What?" Dash put her hooves on her hips as she looked around the table. "Us against a hundred Changelings. We've done this in real life; and this time we get extra XP for it!"
Session 59.4 Mtangalion
Windy Whisper bit into another dream-apple to soothe her nerves, leathery wings twitching. "This is so embarrassing. Me, needing you to come galloping to my rescue, as if I was a little foal having a bad dream about the boogie-mare. Not that I'm not grateful!"
Luna offered a reassuring smile. "We all have our fears and doubts, my little thestral." She and Windy sat side by side, alone amidst hundreds of empty seats in a grand dream-theater. "However, I've often found that such things are not nearly so frightening, seen from this perspective."
On the stage, another Windy Whisper came skidding to a half before a dream version of Starlight Glimmer. "Starlight, you have to help me... they've all become real somehow!" She started pacing frantically. "Spike turned into a kirin and started battling a bunch of nightponies for Rarity's hoof in marriage. Bon Bon fought a whole pack of wolfponies for some reason, and they carried her off into the forest. Twilight locked herself in her castle and won't come out. What do we do?!"
Starlight chuckled nervously, scratching her mane. "Heh, funny thing about that. They were real all along, but I accidentally cast some crazy mind control spell that made everypony forget all about them for years. Well, except for some mare who remembered enough to write the Dusklight books. Boy, I sure wouldn't want to be her right now!"
A smoke bomb exploded on the far side of the stage, and Crystal, Straight Edge, Jasper, and Snarl trotted out to loom over the other Windy. "There she is!" shouted Crystal. "The pony who wrote all of those awful stories about us!"
A Diamond Dog in a nice suit joined them, the same lawyer who'd hounded Shining Armor's role-playing-game-creating friends. "We're suing you for eleventy billion bits. You'll be able pay them back by ceasing your libel and writing true and accurate biographies, starting with the life and times of Nightpony Count Cold Porridge, who stayed faithfully married to his wife and never so much as looked at another mare... for nine hundred years."
"Why are you suing me?" wailed the Windy on stage. "Starlight's the one who cast that spell!"
Starlight laughed. "Oh, I never get punished for misusing magic, not really. Good luck with the new novel!"
"Ugh, enough!" said the Windy Whisper in the audience, and Luna obligingly ended the scene and brought the curtains down. "It just gets sillier from here." She chuckled, flopping back in her seat. "You don't know what a relief it was, waking from that nightmare and remembering that my creations are 100% fictional, and I can keep writing them any way I want!"
Luna's warm smile froze, just for an instant.
Windy's eyes narrowed. "Princess? What aren't you telling me?"
In the next dream over, Sweetie Belle was finishing up the final frosting flourishes on the perfect recreation of her ancestor's famous hundred-layer cake, when an ear-piercing "Whaaaaaat!?" made the whole cake collapse, burying half of Ponyville. "Oh, come on!"
In yet another dream, Prince Blueblood was flirting with attractive young mares at a fancy dress ball, promising them some private entertainment in his chambers, but three times in a row, he got the girl there and kissed her, only for her to unzip her head and turn out to be an affectionate Alisa in a costume. "Why?" he roared at her. "What do you want from me?"
"Blueblood doesn't know," said dream-Alisa, wagging her tail. "She went out of her way to be nice. Alisa's interested in Blueblood, even pup could see it, but what does she want? What's her game?"
"There you are, darling!" exclaimed dream-Rarity, levitating a butterfly net and a large cake. She batted her obviously false eyelashes at him. "I know. Let's talk."
Blueblood rubbed his eyes, trying to blot Alisa and Rarity both out. "I hate my subconscious sometimes." Then the whole dream-palace shook and groaned as if an Ursa Major had taken a bite of it. "Oh, what now?"
Blueblood galloped back to the ballroom and skidded to a halt. The dream-party guests had vanished, and a whole wall had been torn out, flooding the room with moonlight. Blueblood tried to shield himself with his hooves, but dream or not, he couldn't stop himself from growing into the huge white wolf again, tearing his way free of yet another set of expensive pony-sized clothes.
Mocking laughter echoed through the shattered hall. A mare stood before him, where nopony had been a moment before, so shrouded in her cloak and mask that he could make out none of her features. For some reason, a scroll hovered beside her, with an animated feather quill constantly writing. "There are you," she purred. "Wolfpony!"
Blueblood sighed in a great huff. "Auntie Luna?" his voice growled. "Whatever I did, I'm most regretfully sorry, so if you could see your way to getting me out of this dream... sometime soon?"
"You should be sorry!" said the mystery mare. "Luna favors me this night, not you. How dare you masquerade as one of MY wolfponies?"
Blueblood rubbed his forehead with a paw, feeling a headache coming on. "And you are..."
She drew herself up, leathery wings spread. "I? I am Lady Midnight Heart, the Nightpony Queen!" She leveled a hoof at him. "And you've taken something that doesn't belong to you!"
"Midnight Heart?" He chuckled. "Seriously? That Midnight... THE Midnight Heart? Of course, why not!? However, I believe you'll find that I was given this form by a literal Act of Discord, so good luck getting it back now, even if I wanted to give it up.. Which I don't! So there." He folded his forepaws and turned his head, snorting.
A flare of stolen magic forced him to look at her, and even bow, which got Blueblood snarling.
"Discord or not," declared Midnight Heart, "none will wear the form of one of my creations unless I deem them worthy!" She laughed again, and thunder crashed for good measure.
"Oh goody," said Blueblood dryly. "A test of my worthiness. Well, go on, let's get this over with. I have a lot of nice, boring tax legislation to dream about. What's it going to be? Death by tedious overwrought romantic triangle?"
Midnight Heart trotted closer, glaring up at him nose to nose. "So insolent, even when your future is in my hooves. Hah! Perhaps you do have a wolfpony's spirit! You shall have a trial by combat."
She gestured imperiously, and a vaguely familiar orange earth pony appeared. "Ya'll called mah family's apple pies ‘common carnival fare.' Prepare to die."
Blueblood the wolf blinked at dream-Applejack. "Oh. That doesn't seem so bad."
Midnight Heart stroked her chin. "I agree. Let's infuse her with kirin blood to make it more interesting." Mists rose, then cleared away, revealing a wagon-sized orange and gold dragon with scales like polished brass.
"You've got to be... ahh!!" Blueblood sprang aside, dodging fiery breath that smelled of baked apples. "So sorry, miss, but I believe I need to be elsewhere... urgently!" He waved a paw, wiggling his toes griffon-style, then turned tail and raced away into the castle corridors.
Windy Whisper grinned behind her mask, then pointed, and the kirin went tearing through the dream after him. "I suppose I'll have to credit him for helping me with this writer's block. Ah well!"
Session 59.5 Kendell2
"Aww..." said dog Spike, looking at the screen.
"What is it, Spike?" asked the human Twilight, as she, Rarity, and Pinkie's online friend Screwball (who despite apparently knowing Crystalsoft's office fairly well, didn't seem to be anyone they knew, but they'd all assumed she was the human Discord's daughter, since the Equestrian version was apparently his creation) playing a minigame where they raced by riding huge bouncy balls of all shapes and sizes through the Rainbow Castle. She liked the strategy, as while being quite simple in concept, it had a bit of strategy with timing the bounces for maximum height and distance.
"I tried to make a family portrait at the family castle and ran out of room!"
Pony Twilight blinked, looking over. "You have that much family?"
"I'm a dog," was Spike's simple reply. "I have like six twin siblings...I think...I wasn't sapient at the time...by the way, that was really weird. Like one second I was thinking 'Chase! Chase! Chase chase!' and then I was thinking...well, about a lot of stuff...By the way, any chance we can give these two dogs I know a blast of Fluttershy's magic and make them like me?"
"...One blue, the other grayish scarlet, and neither gets along with each other unless it's for your sake?" human Twilight asked.
"Yeah..." Spike replied, looking a little lonely. "I can understand them, but sometimes they act like I'm a human giving them commands not another dog...Which was actually kinda fun with this one red dog that picks on me. I ordered him to nuzzle every dog in the neighborhood on the way home and not explain why. Hehe..."
"...We'll...think about it," said pony Twilight, it occurring to her that she'd never considered the little pup might feel similar feelings of not fitting in as her Spike did, but unlike her Spike he had plenty of other dogs but none of them like him. "...Maybe instead of putting your biological siblings, you could put your Twilight and Shining as your siblings?"
Spike blinked, giving it a thoughtful look. "...Huh...hadn't thought about that..."
Pony Twilight admitted that at times, she saw Spike more like a son, but for obvious reasons that wouldn't work as a public thing for them in the human world.
Spike did just that, setting his Twilight as a big sister and their family was automatically set in from when Twilight had done it when she'd approved it following the race. "...That'll work..." he said, him and his former owner now best friend sharing a smile.
Session 59.6 Kendell2
"You sure you want to do this, G?" asked the human Rainbow Dash, the group currently at Gilda's house. Which was part of a junk yard.
"Getting a talking dog? I'm find with that," Gilda replied with a smirk. "Besides, Ember's been a lot more friendly since he's been hanging around here. But why didn't you try doing this with AJ's dog?"
"Cause mah Granny would freak out and Ah don't trust Applebloom not tah let it slip," Applejack replied. "That and apparently Winona's Equestrian self is still a dog, so we don't know it'll work."
"Oh...so what's Ember?" Gilda asked.
"Current Lord of the Dragons," said pony Twilight.
"...Cool..."
Rarity gave a shudder, looking around. "Did we have to come to you, darling? No offense, but this seems unsanitary..."
The other girl gave a laugh. "You think it's bad now? You should've seen it before I decided to fix it up. My grandpa Gruff really let the place go and it was more of a garbage dump than a junk yard..." she said, looking around. "We're selling scrap now, you'd be surprised how much some people will pay for that stuff..."
"So where's Ember?" Spike asked, looking around.
Gilda gave a whistle. "Ember! Here girl!" she called, prompting a blue dog to come dashing out of the junk. She gave a growl at what she saw as intruders. "They're fine, Ember."
After Ember settled down, she and Spike began barking to each other.
"What are they saying?" Applejack asked.
"Spike's asking her if she wants to learn to talk like him..." said Fluttershy.
"How do you know?" asked Gilda, raising an eyebrow.
"I can talk to animals," she said, letting several birds land on her arms.
"...Right..."
"It's Fluttershy's magic that lets us do this," human Twilight said, reading a machine resembling her mana collector, though heavily modified. In this case, it was incapable of actually holding in mana, merely drawing it outwards...no one wanted a repeat of Midnight Sparkle.
"Ah...well could she do something about this skunk that's hauled up under this old car?" Gilda asked. "Ember keeps getting sprayed trying to chase it off and I'm not getting near the dang thing."
Fluttershy nodded and Gilda lead her away while Spike barked things out with Ember.
Meanwhile, a red dog about Ember's size, though much bulkier, and three other dogs peaked over the edge of a mound of scrap, listening in.
The big red dog barked something to his fellows.
They barked back in confusion.
He gave a series of annoyed barks, in his imagination the image of using 'the voice of the masters' to command an army of dogs and rule the junk yard.
The others barked back and wagged their tails.
"Alright, Ember's game," Spike replied. "Thanks for doing this, Twilight."
"It's fine Spike...I know more than anybody how lonely it can be to be the odd one out..." said the human Twilight. "Alright, I'm ready."
"And I got the skunk..." said Fluttershy, holding it in her arms and petting it. Everybody took a step back and Spike had to stop Ember from barking or snarling at it. "Don't worry, it won't spray so long as it feels safe..."
"Okay..." said Sci Twi. "Alright, Fluttershy, pony up..." she said, stepping so that Ember was between them."
Fluttershy glowed, familiar ears, wings, and long tail sprouting.
Ember's eyes went wide and she barked something to Spike.
"You get used to it," Spike replied. "Now hold still..."
Twilight began using the device to draw magic from Fluttershy, making sure the stream of it hit Ember, causing the dog to give a surprised yip and eyes to go wide.
The red dog barked and he and his cohorts came running, snarling and growling.
Spike gasped. "It's Garble!"
"Darn it! It's those stupid strays that are always causing trouble around here!" Gilda said, looking at them and looking around for something to scare them off with.
Applejack recognized the dog as one of the ones that harassed her chickens a few times and even destroyed some of their eggs, from the looks of it just because he could.
Fluttershy, being herself, took a step back from the charging, snarling dogs. The skunk in her arms sensed her distress and jumped down, turning its hindquarters in their direction, tail raised like a flag.
Garble noticed in time and leapt out of the way, while his cohorts got sprayed, leaving them whimpering and trying to rub off the awful smelling musk before running off yelping with their tails between their legs.
The lead dog continued to charge at the magic, not knowing WHAT it was, but knowing what it GAVE.
Spike leapt in front of the bigger red dog and gave a snarl. "What are you doing here, Garble?!" the purple dog barked.
"Me get voice of masters!" barked the larger dog. "Then all dogs listen to Garble!"
Spike gave several growls and barks. "You don't deserve it! You're a bad dog!"
Garble growled and lunged at Spike with a bite. The little dog dodged and stuck out his tongue for a raspberry. The red dog growled and lunged at him with a snap of his jaws as Spike dodged...then ran at the magic, coming within a few inches when Spike tackled him with as much force as his little body could manage.
Ember swayed back and forth, the blue dog a bit disorientated, the magic snaking its way back into Fluttershy. "Ugh...what was...wait..." she said, eyes going wide. "AH! I REALLY AM TALKING!" she then blinked, looking around. "AH! WHAT ARE ALL THESE WEIRD COLORS EVERYWHERE?!...HOW DO I KNOW WHAT COLORS ARE?! AND WHY DO I CARE?!"
"Spike!" yelled Twilight, Garble having pinned him down teeth bared, causing Ember to snap around and look. She prepared to put her telekinesis to use when Ember tackled Garble off and rolled, managing to kick him off with her hind legs.
"Leave him alone you jerk!" Ember yelled, glaring daggers and snarling.
Garble snarled...then noticed himself surrounded not only by two other dogs, but by the humans, Gilda holding a piece of metal bar threateningly and the strange purple human (well one of them) somehow lifting a piece of trash off the ground with her mind, seeming rather angry he'd been mean to her dog.
"Me get voice of masters! Me no stop!" the red dog barked...then blinked, noticing the skunk standing next to him, tail raised.
"Me *cough* be back!" gagged Garble, the red dog running off with his tail between his legs and stinking to high heavens.
Ember gagged, putting a paw over her nose as the skunk jumped back into Fluttershy's arms. "Huh, that stinky thing actually came in handy..."
Spike nodded, reacting much the same. "Yeah...so...how do you feel?"
"...Kinda weird...And suddenly realizing how stupid it was to keep chasing the stripped thing when it kept making me smell bad every single time...Hey, what's that?" she asked, pointing to a leaf with a paw.
"A leaf..."
"Huh? Then why isn't it gray?" Ember asked, cocking her head.
"Oh! You can see green now!" Spike replied with a chuckle. "Forgot that part. There's two more colors you can see now...and a few others that are mixs of them. You get used to it."
"Oh...Man this is more complicated than I thought it was going to be..." Ember said, before wagging her tail as Gilda came over and scratched her behind the ears.
"It always is, especially since you can think about how complicated it is..."
"...Like how it just occurred to me that when I chase my tail I'm chasing a part of my own body?"
"Yep...wanna learn how to play World of Hoofcraft?" Spike asked.
"Yeah!"
"Uh...sure..."
Session 59.7 Mtangalion
Fluttershy gasped softly. "Oh my! Who's this?" Napping on Gilda's porch was the biggest bulldog that any of them had ever seen, on this side of the mirror, at least.
"That's Torch," said Gilda with a touch of pride. "Don't worry, he won't bite anything off, so long as..." Her eyes widened. "Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?!"
Fluttershy was scratching his ears. "Who's a good boy? You are! Yes you are, Torch! You're a good boy, aren't you?"
Torch gave her an indignant look, rumbling deep in his chest, and then he wagged his tail and gave Fluttershy's whole hand a long messy slurp.
Princess Twilight smiled. "Let me guess. Ember is one of Torch's pups?"
Gilda blinked. "How'd you figure that? Nobody ever believes me when I tell them."
Twilight scratched the back of her neck. "Let's just say, you shouldn't let him hop through any portals to Equestria. You might have a hard time getting him back again."
Ember came bouncing along, bumped right into Torch's side, and started pawing at him. "Dad! Hey, dad, I can talk now! Dad?! Dad, dad, dad..."
Torch only yawned massively and rolled over, trying to resume his morning snooze facing the other way.
Meanwhile, Gilda edged over towards Rainbow Dash, clearing her throat. "So... since you came all this way out here..." She griffoned up, sprouting large wings and a lion tail in a wash of bronze light. "Wanna have a little race?"
"Do I!" shouted Dash, ponying-up on the spot.
Gilda smirked. "Cause I kinda mighta put together a little obstacle course and... Oh, you said yes already? Heh, I should have known that saying ‘race' was all the sales pitch I needed. How about the rest of you guys? Flutters?"
"Oh, no thank you," said Fluttershy, sitting on the porch and trying to scritch Torch, Ember, and Spike all at once with only two hands.
"I'm game," said Sunset, with a confident grin. "I've been waiting for a chance to stretch my wings. Pun 100% intended!"
"I suppose I could," said Princess Twilight sheepishly. "I know I'm no match for any Rainbow Dash when it comes to flying, though."
Several of them looked expectantly at the human Twilight. "What? Oh! Heh, heh... I keep forgetting I can do that now..."
Session 59.8 Devcon101
Many years ago...
Sweetie Drops, agent of a secret organization that worked under the queen of the land, hung from shackles, chained to one of the walls in the cell she had been confined to.
The cell was dimly lit; no windows had been built in, and the only light was the soft glow of a dying torch on the wall across from her prison. It was just enough to see the unpleasant sight of another pony shackled on the wall across from her; this pony, however, was nothing more than dusty bones, a skeleton of a former captive left down here to rot.
The sounds of clacking die, murmurs and hoots of victory could be heard from a table set up somewhere in the wider room, as the guards played a game of dice with one another, something to break up the monotony of standing around and guarding what, from she could assess, was only one mare.
One stallion picked up his bottle of rum and took a long swig, grumbling to himself.
"Y'know, why don't we just kill the little missy? It'd save us a lot o' trouble in the long run."
"Because, boss says he wants ‘er for the black market slave trade. Says a lot o' unicorn nobles would be willin' ta' buy a nice lump of sugar like ‘er for a hefteh price" another replied, not sounding so pleased himself.
"Bah! Slave trade's a buncha hogswash! ‘Less she's perfect, those witches ‘ll pass ‘er by like yesterday's news. I say we end ‘er now; them hell hounds the boss got ‘ve been gettin' mighty hungry after all." The first took another swig, before tossing an empty bottle off, which smashed against the wall.
"Sure. Go right ahead. But you'll be the one ‘splainin' yourself to the boss when ‘e finds out ya went ‘n stabbed em' in the back." The first was quiet, before mumbling something seemingly in agreement as they got back to their game.
Sweetie stared down at the ground as a rat scurried past, trying to formulate an escape plan, when all of a sudden the sound of pottery breaking could be heard; from the faint volume, one would estimate it came from outside the room. There was mumbling from the guards.
"Eh, Frankie, go check ‘dat out, would ya?"
"...Ya sure? Last time I went ‘n checked I nearly got my head sliced off by ‘dat orc raider. Lucky ‘e only got the top of my mane; even then it took weeks ‘ta grow back."
"Frankie, none of us care ‘bout your fears or fashion sense. Just go check it out. It's probably just ‘dat weird foal in that green tunic breakin' our pots...again."
There was a pause, before a door could be heard creaking open. Then there was silence. A long silence.
"...Frankie?" One of them called out, only to get no response. Another muttered a curse under their breath. "Okay, somethin's out ‘dere. Mitch, you n' Roselade go investigate."
"Wait, why don't you go?" The stallion chuckled.
"Do you realleh think I'M gonna go out ‘ere? There might actualleh BE somethin'."
Murmurs could be heard, before the sounds of a struggle could be heard as Mitch and Roselade seemingly forced the other out into the hall.
"Well, that takes care o' ‘dat."
The silence that followed this was even greater. Eventually, the sound of the door could be heard opening again.
"Mitch, it got dark." There was an irritated sigh.
"No kiddin', idiot! We're underground!"
"No, no, I don't mean that. I mean, this isn't regular darkness. This is some kinda "advanced darkness.""
"Darkness can't get advanced you numbsku-"
The guard was cut short as the sound of something stabbing into him could be heard, and then a thump as he dropped. The other guard let out a girly scream, before the same happened to him, though with a softer thud as he seemingly fell on the other.
Sweetie Drop turned her head to the cell door, where now, walking silently into view, was another mare dressed in ninja garb; Love Tap, one of the best ninjas in the business. She spoke not a word as she tapped the door, a specially crafted silent knock spell taking effect as the door swung open. Sweetie smiled as Love Tap entered and freed her from her shackles. She hopped back down to all fours, brushing some dust off herself with one hoof as Love Tap pulled out her weapons and held them out to her, which Sweetie grabbed, giving a grateful smile.
"Thanks for the save. Now, let's get out of this place. I'm almost getting used to the smell down here" she said with a smile, Love Tap nodding as the two exited, moving past two guards, each killed with a well-placed shuriken to the chest.
-
Sweetie and Love Tap entered the bar of the inn used as a front by the boss of Sweetie's captors as a front for his more nefarious deeds. Conveniently, no patrons were currently within; just thugs, thieves, a few hell hounds, and the boss, a large ogre with a monocle and a long, twirly mustache (as if it couldn't be more obvious he was evil). He gave a laugh.
"Well well well, what have we here?" Sweetie and Love Tap glared alike.
"Garkunger, by the order of the queen you are under arrest for illegal slave trade in the black market, the raiding of several trade caravans along the epona road, several accounts of murder, and the unlicensed breeding of hell hounds, as well as kidnapping and imprisoning an officer of her majesty. Stand down before I have to use force" The troll looked at them, before laughing even more.
"Oh, you really think you puny little ponies could take in Garkunger? HAH! Garkunger hasn't heard anything that funny since...since...however long it's been since Garkunger has heard anything that funny. Garkunger doesn't bother keeping track." He stood up, cracking his knuckles.
"Wench, another beer! Garkunger can't go crushing puny ponies with a parched throat." A female bartender nodded, pouring him a mug, oddly lingering for but a moment after, before heading to the counter and sliding it down to him. He grinned, grabbed it in a meaty fist, and raised it to his mouth, drinking it all in one gulp. He threw it aside, the mug shattering, before wiping his mouth with one arm and drawing his sword with another.
"Now, Garkunger ends puny pe-" Garkunger was cut short as he suddenly began coughing, falling to his knees as he clutched his chest. He spat out a glob of green blood, before with a final groan of pain fully collapsed, dead. The bartender gave a chuckle.
"Should have listened to doctors when they said drinking was bad for you, dearie." The two looked over to her, weapons still drawn, only for her to reach to her neck and begin
to pull of something that at first didn't seem to be there, appearing only once it was taken off. It was an amulet of disguise, and upon her removing it, an image overlaid upon her dissipated, revealing none other than the head of the baker's guild and, in secret, master assassin, Sicklysweet Polomare, an old ally of Sweetie and Love Tap's.
-
"SICKLY! IT'S ALMOST 2 IN THE MORNING! YOU NEED TO GET TO BED!"
The Oubliette Master, a much younger Sicklysweet, groaned.
"MMKAY MOM! I'LL BRING IT TO A CLOSE!" She turned to the players, a much younger Sweetie Drops and Love Tap, sighing.
"Sorry dearies. We're gonna have to end it here tonight." Sweetie and Love Tap gave disappointed groans in response but began packing up their stuff.
"Did you really have to have the OMPC save the day?" Sweetie asked, putting on her saddlebag.
"You were still too weak to have faced him, dearie." Love Tap raised a brow.
"An ogre? Would've been a breeze for us at this level, with its measly 4 hit die. Or was it an ogre chieftain? But even then..."
"It was an ogre chieftain I gave a power boost to, dearie." Love Tap nodded, putting on her saddlebag. The two walked out the door, Sickly coming to the door and waving goodbye.
"See you in a week, dearies! Be safe, mmkay?!" Love Tap gave a sly smile.
"Being a ninja of my ability, I should be wishing you that!"
Sicklysweet chuckled, closing the door as she trotted back in, wishing her mother goodnight as she trotted up the stairs to her room. Love Tap, a ninja? HA! About as ridiculous as Sweetie Drops being an actual secret agent, or her...well, she could see herself as an assassin...HA! As if.
Near the top of the stairs, she not only let out a big sneeze, but also got the odd feeling of being completely wrong. Eh, probably nothing...
Session 59.9 Kendell2
Puppy Spike sat at the lap top, both of them in Gilda's room while Ember was at Gilda's computer. It'd been some time later, since there were some things ember naturally had to learn about being a sapient creature.
"Hey Spike, I found something out," the blue dog said, trying to get used to sitting in such a way to type with her front paws.
"What?" Spike asked, looking over.
Ember looked over at Gilda's mirror on the wall, namely herself in it. "The other dog in the mirror is me!"
The little purple dog gave a chuckle, remembering when he figured it out. "Yep."
"Why didn't I realize it before?! It's so obvious!" Ember said, moving and watching herself move with her.
"Hehe, welcome to being self aware..." Spike replied with a smirk. "Alright, so what's your screen name going to be?"
Ember turned back to the computer and cocked her head. "Screen name?"
"Yeah, what you'll go as in World of Horsecraft."
"Ember..." Ember said, typing it in. "Huh, this name is in use?"
"Oh, yeah, somebody already took it," Spike replied. "Had the same problem with mine...Try something else that fits you or describes you. I'm Purple_Pup. You can make your character's name Ember though."
"Describes me...It says 'Word not allowed'..."
Spike peaked over and his eyes widened. "Ember! You can't use that word!"
Ember cocked her head innocently. "Why? I'm a blue female dog..."
"Yeah, but humans consider the...second word of that a 'bad word' when used for anything OTHER than a female dog, surprised Gilda ever USED it around you..."
"Oh...Gilda says lots of words Fluttershy says I shouldn't say..."
"Fluttershy is right. Gilda's a potty mouth sometimes."
His fellow sapient dog gave a raised eyebrow. "She drinks out of the toilet too? I've never seen her..."
Spike couldn't help giving a laugh. "No, she cusses a lot."
Ember sighed, giving a frustrated whimper. "I will never understand humans...Alright then...Blue Dog...that one didn't work either!"
"Put an underscore between the words."
"...Underwhat? Is that like underwear?...Which apparently we're not supposed to chew on?"
Spike came over and pressed the underscore key to turn it to Blue_Dog. "There."
"Okay...Alright, we're in...What are all these weird things?" asked the blue dog, looking over the race select screen.
"Those are the races you can be."
"...Do they have dogs?"
"No, but they have Crystal Wolves," Spike said with a smirk.
"...So like those big dog thingies you showed me when introducing me?" Ember asked, raising an eyebrow. "Except made of crystal?"
"Nah, think big wolves who live in cold places and can disguise themselves, they're kinda cool!"
"Then why are they called crystal wolves?!"
Spike sighed. "This is gonna take awhile..."
Session 59.10 Grogar-The-Oneser (with addition by me)
"Uggh, where are we...?" Adagio grumbled.
"I think were in a basement chained up." Aria said.
"Oh like that movie with that mask guy, you know the one where adagio screamed like a little girl."
"I did not screamed like a little girl!" Adagio snapped ".... the mask design just creeped me out."
"yeah well your day about to get worse." All three turn to see Sci-Twi and to there shock, what looks a Discord, and they can sense it was the Equestria one.
"W-what are you doing here!" Adagio yelled.
"'I don't remember anything', really?" Twilight said.
"'Betray by a bigger bad' only works if it was hinted and shows how nasty the new guy is. Or at least underestimate some obvious red flags." Discord muttered that last part under his breath.
"Wait what about my excuse?" Aria asked.
"Uggh, trust me, its such a split issue with fans of this fandom its annoying, oh what I would give for Stargate version of the things, at least then I don't have to worry about stirring a base-breaker." Discord muttered.
"Point is, none of your stories match up and only a idiot will not realize... especially yours." Twilight said "I mean seriously, if your going to use one excuse at least make sure they match."
"Alright so you got it, but you can't torture us." Adagio stated
"No but we can make you suffer." Discord said pulling 'Manos and the Hand of Fate' while Sci-twi pulled out Plan 9 from Outer Space'.
"FFFFU-
(1 hour later)
Both Sci-Twi and Discord were playing craps. "You don't think we were too harsh, do you?
"Nah, at least one of them will be enjoying it."
meanwhile both Adagio and Aria were developing a twitch in there eyes as Sonata pretended to be that robot from that show that reviews bad movies. 'I hate them both so much!' Adagio thought.
-
"So you see after we were corrupted by rogue Equestrian magic and we were then infected by alien parasites. And so after we were betrayed by Rabia, and not the other way around of course, the alien parasites left our bodies, we lost all memories of what happened."
"Makes sense," EG!Rainbow Dash said, looking up from her issue of Radiance, the 'Radiant Twilight' storyline.
Sunset groaned.
Session 59.11 Mtangalion
Ember pawed at the plastic round thing... the mouse, causing her Diamond Wolf warrior to charge at the next moose. A few quick blows and a special attack brought the prey down, and the {Collect snow moose flanks 2/7} words under {Food for the Pack} changed to 3/7. "I understand so many new things now," she mused. "My head's spinning, like when I chase my tail... why did I used to do that?"
Spike chuckled. "Because it's fun! Being smart doesn't mean we can't still do things that are just for fun." He guided his priest alt, a Luna's Witness of course, to Blue_Dog's side and cast a quick heal. "Like playing World of Horsecraft! There's a saying... On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."
Ember turned away from the bright picture box... the monitor, she corrected herself, looking at the real Spike directly. "The Internet..."
Spike nodded. "That's what lets us play this game with humans, even though they're far away."
Ember scratched a floppy ear with her hind paw while she puzzled this out. "And we're dogs." Her face lit up. "So we can play games with humans, and they don't know we're dogs! That's really smart!"
Spike grinned back at her. "I know, right? Twilight always says I'm missing the point, but it seems pretty simple to me."
Just outside, Rainbow Dash went flying past with Gilda in hot pursuit, fast enough to rattle the windows, but the two dogs had already had their fill of peering out the window and turning their heads back and forth to follow the race. "Let's do this one next!" said Ember suddenly. "What does it mean, group quest?"
"It means we need more players," Spike explained. "Just click the button, and the game will find more people doing the quest automatically."
The game made a suitably dramatic ker-thunk sound, and text scrolled up their chat windows. Since they were still in the Diamond Wolf starting zone, the new arrivals were naturally fellow wolves.
{BestAlpha has joined the party.}
{RoverTheDOG has joined the party.}
{Duke_BlueScruff has joined the party.}
RoverTheDOG sprinted ahead of the group, engaging the first two Umbrum Night Stalkers by himself. "If they have any gems, they're mine!"
BestAlpha did a /facepaw emote. "Rover sure knows how to act like greedy no good dog, alright. Get back here, form line! Warrior tanks, make sure healer is safe!"
Duke_BlueScruff waved at the crowd of enemies closing in on them. "Parley! I say, I wish to parlay!"
"I... don't think this is that kind of game," typed Spike. He looked to Ember, paw-shrugging. "I had no idea people were so into role-playing on this server."
Session 59.12 Devcon101
Twilight read over the slip of paper Trixie had given her. It was a spell Trixie had homebrewed and wanted to use in the game, and Twilight had agreed to it as long as it was balanced and not game breaking. She had expected some sort of grand illusion spell or enchantment spell, knowing the showmare's love of tricks, but rather...
"Well, it looks balanced, but...come on. Really?" She held the sheet to Trixie and pointed at the name of the spell: "Trixie's Teacup Transformation?"
"What's wrong with wanting to turn my foes into harmless teacups?"
Twilight sighed.
"Trixie, the teacup thing is beginning to get out of hoof."
Trixie frowned.
"My therapist said the same thing...before I turned him into a teacup."
Twilight blinked.
"You WHAT?!"
Trixie smiled and gave a slight chuckle.
"Just a joke, Sparkle, relax. Trixie's wagon is too full of transmogrified teacups to have held him anyway."
Twilight frowned.
"How many teacups did you make?"
Trixie tapped her chin a bit in thought.
"I stopped counting at around...1,850."
Trixie gave a guilty grin as Twilight raised a brow.
"What are you even planning to do with all those teacups?"
Trixie shrugged.
"I don't know! Sell them?...Well, actually..."
Later...
"Teacups! Teacups! Get your wonderful, amazing, stupendous, glorious, utterly gorgeous, Trixie Lulamoon made teacups here!"
Session 59.13 Kendell2
"Wait Wait wait, what?!" asked Rainbow Dash, the group seated at a gaming table.
They were currently playing a game where they were trying to save Equus from a group of alien tyrants who'd tried to destroy it thousands of years ago and been repelled, only to have to deal with them again, with one of their party members being the half pony child of the leader of a rebellion against them...
Long story short, they'd ended up on a weird pony space zoo (not to be confused with a space pony zoo) and ended up having to hide from two of them in a room (being hopelessly outclassed against ONE of them, let alone BOTH)...when something strange happened.
"She starts singing to her sister about how much they miss the one that the rebel leader killed a thousand years ago but need to move on because there's no use in feeling blue (leaving it up to you whether she means the emotion or her sister's name), then nearly breaks down herself showing she's not moved on as well as she looked like she did," Twilight explained. "In other words, her desire to destroy Equus is a futile attempt to prevent herself from thinking about the place her sister died and escape her pain."
The room was silent, Fluttershy started crying, but Applejack stopped her from having her character expose herself to comfort them.
"...Just so we're clear, they STILL want to destroy Equus?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Yes," Twilight replied evenly.
"And they're STILL tyrannical despots?"
"Yes, in fact the room is filled with the rebellion leader's entire race stuck in stasis lock who her sister's desire to keep their dead sister's things as she left them is the only reason that's as bad as they did to them. All for just being the same RACE."
"But...but..."
"Also, if they catch you, they can and will probably kill you all as horribly as possible without a second thought," Twilight said unhesitatingly. "But they DID genuinely love their sister and ARE genuinely heartbroken and in morning over her death."
"...Was the rebel leader secretly evil?"
"Nope, you really think I'd go with THAT cliche?" Twilight asked, almost insulted.
"...UGH! Great, now I feel sorry for the psychos!"
"Good!" Twilight said with a cheerful smile. "Also, if you don't escape the room before they finish, you're going to die. Horribly."
Session 59.14 Kendell2
Rainbow Dash, still a roadrunner in the Animania, dashed down the road at high speed. "Okay, where are you Zephyr..." she muttered, then noticed up ahead.
He was waiting alongside the road with a giant slingshot, already tensed and ready to launch. She noticed something up ahead that put a smile on her beak before speeding past him.
"You can't escape my love, Rainbows!" the turquoise coyote called, letting go and launching himself after her. He flew through the air, arms extended to grab Rainbow. He got close to the Roadrunner...right as she turned a corner. He watched her race of. "...Dang it..." he muttered, still flying forwards. He then blinked, passing a sign reading 'Cactus Farm Ahead'. "Huh?" he asked, then looked ahead...eyes going so wide they popped out of his head in a cartoonish fashion as he saw said cactus farm up ahead.
He screamed as he went crashing through the cactus farm.
"Ow...ow...ow...ow..." muttered Zephyr, emerging from the farm, covered head to toe in cactus spikes.
Rainbow chuckled. "MEEP MEEP!" she honked, dashing off. "Man, I can't believe the others are missing this!"
"Twilight, are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Applejack, the group all hiding in wait down the path they knew Rarity and her pursuer would be dashing down.
"Of course," Twilight said, giving a smirk, a box set up as a trap in the alley way. "Rarity dashes by, we pull the rope, and the skunk gets caught! Simple!"
"...Okay..." said Applejack.
"Come back, Mademoiselle! We are made for each other!" called the skunk's voice.
"Here they come!" Twilight said, the group falling into cover.
"No we are not!" Rarity shreeked, dashing along as fast as she could as the skunk just bounced along after her. "Why is it that the stallions I WANT to notice me are either self absorbed jerks or in love with somepony else and THIS is who won't leave me alone?!"
She ran past the group.
"...NOW!" Twilight called, pulling the rope and causing the box to fall, seemingly capturing the skunk in it.
"See?" Twilight asked, flying out and landing on top of it. "Done!" she said, proudly.
Applejack trotted out. "Huh, what do you know..." she said, then cringed at an odor hitting her nose and looking nearby. "...Uh...Twilight..."
Twilight blinked, looking over to see the skunk bouncing along towards them. She flew down and lifted the box, finding it empty. "Oops..."
The skunk bounced passed them and the rolls rang out.
"Double critical," Discord said.
The stench following the skunk promptly went straight up both their noses with the sound of a fog horn. The two were paralyzed for a few moments, going green in the face and eyes watering as the skunk just bounced past.
"...Twilight..." Applejack gagged, swaying back and forth. "Ah...Ah don't think that went accordin' tah plan...ugh..." she muttered, falling on her back with swirly eyes.
"It...It certainly didn't..." Twilight gagged out, then collapsed, eyes becoming swirls as well.
Fluttershy gave a sigh, watching from nearby. "...I hope Zephyr isn't giving Rainbow Dash too much trouble..."
Pinkie Pie looked around. "Huh, I wasn't involved in that gag at all..."
Almost on cue, a loud slam sounded nearby, causing Fluttershy to give a 'eep!' and jump up, followed by a cloud of pink stench with a fog horn sound.
Pinkie coughed and gaged, hooves clamped over her nose and eyes watering. "There we *cough* go!"
Fluttershy blushed brightly. "Oops..."
Session 59.15 Devcon101
(Potential major spoiler for D&D 5e's Rise of Tiamat campaign. Ye've been warned.)
Rainbow Dash gave a victorious cheer as her critical finally killed off the large dragon who had been blocking their exit from the tower of the mage.
Currently the group were going through O&O's new campaign series "The Desolation of Takhisis." (The fact it had been "The Desolation of Takhisis." in production was covered up as much possible). Apparently a cult that worshiped "the evil sister of Tiamat, Takhisis", who herself was a goddess of dragons as well, had been not only ransacking the kingdom to compose a hoard grand enough to satisfy the draconic deity, but also planned to spring her from Asmodequus' hellish prison and set her loose upon the material plane. To do so, they were planning to use the power of 5 magic items called the Dragon Helms, each one imbued with a portion of Takhisis' power. By merging all five helms into one, they could have enough power to open a rift strong enough to enable her escape.
So far the cult had all but one of the helms. The one helm had been stolen away by a mage that had formerly been in league with the cult, and taken to his private tower. They had gone to retrieve said mask to keep the cult's plans from coming even close to fruition, and after dealing with an enchanted hedge maze, a series of confusing teleportation circles, dealing with a powerful trapped efreeti, discovering a library that would make Twilight drool and fighting off a few members of the cult, they had snatched it.
Of course, the moment they got out a dragon, the same that had attacked their city in the very first chapter of the campaign series, had swooped down and demanded the helm be given over. The group was obviously not willing to just give it up, and so conflict had ensued.
"Finalleh got rid of ‘dat varmint!" Applejack smiled victoriously. "And got dat helm too! Now we just gotta get ridda that thing an' those no good crooks' plans ‘ll be ruined."
"Actually..." Twilight, who was playing the role of OM, perked up, "...it says here that after careful inspection, you find the helm is nothing more than a well crafted fake."
"Dun-dun-dun!" Pinkie exclaimed, if only for dramatic effect.
Rarity gave Twilight an odd look. "A fake? If it was a fake, wouldn't we have been able to know it somehow? Surely we would have at least sensed a lack of magic."
Twilight shook her head. "It says here you don't learn of it until after you fight the dragon. If there was a way to let you figure it out, I would have let you do it."
Rainbow Dash's face grew red. "AH COME ON! All that for nothing?!"
"I wouldn't call it nothing. You did get those rare magic tomes in the library."
Rainbow Dash's anger didn't dwindle. "Yeah, so?! The helm's still out there! We still accomplished virtually nothing storywise!"
Applejack nodded in agreement. "Ah'll admit, it does feel like a big ol' waste o' time."
Later, at the final council meeting before the climatic final fight against Takhisis...
Rarity was not happy.
"What do you mean a "Trarity Belle" that looks almost exactly like me stole the helm for the cult?! I can't believe they would put a cheap knockoff of me in as a villain, let alone a thief! Who's bright idea was this?!"
Elsewhere...
Suri Polomare read the section on the final council meeting in her own copy of Desolation of Takhisis, a devious grin on her face. It took her a few more bits spent in backing it than she'd have liked, but it was worth it.
Session 59.16 Kendell2
"Who comes up with some of this stuff..." asked the human Rainbow Dash, noting another new addition to Rainbows and Crystals. The Beta was almost ready, apparently the release version would be announced at the next con, but updates were happening up till then.
In this case, the update added a new NPC named Daffidazey who ran Petal Parlor, where you could change up your character's mane and tail style, as well as get accessories. However, one of the weirder features of this particular addition, was the ability to get your mane and tail washed with a special scented shampoo...which mainly only served to get various reactions from NPCs and change how your scent trail looked to Griffins.
The only times it really influenced gameplay was if you wore a particular pony's favorite scent on their birthday, which could get you extra friendship points (in fact doing big things for others on their birthday did that as is, such as the time the group all decided to change their houses temporarily to pink on Pinkie's birthday, which impressed the developers enough to make it an achievement), or to help get certain animals as pets that liked a particular scent.
"I did!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "I suggested it on the message board and the developer liked it!"
"Hmm..." said human Discord, looking at the suggestion board. "Scented shampoo to make your character smell different..."
"I'd like it, daddy!" said the AI Screwball.
"So do I! And one of the scents will be chocolate milk!...Though unlike in World of Horsecraft, it won't explode."
"Yay!"
"...That doesn't surprise me..." Rainbow Dash replied.
"Why? Because I wash my hair with cotton candy scented and flavored shampoo?"
"...Yes."
Sunset blinked. "Flavored?"
Pinkie Pie nodded. "It makes my hair taste like cotton candy!"
"...Why?"
"Because it's fun, silly!"
"I think it's a lovely feature, darling," said Rarity, flipping her hair. "After all, perfume and scented shampoo can compliment an outfit very well."
"It actually does kind of make sense," said pony Twilight. "Ponies DO have an acute sense of smell and this kind of thing is popular where I'm from."
Rainbow Dash shrugged. She then noticed her mother was online (she had an Admin account due to being a designer for the game)...and the date. She gave it some consideration, she'd already given her mother a card (and bought her some shoes)...oh, what the heck.
Rainbow Dash Sr. blinked, a message popping up. She clicked on it and found it was a gift, namely some ingame clothes.
'Happy Mother's Day, mom.' said the note.
The elder Rainbow Dash's eyes teared up a tiny bit and she smiled. 'Thank you, darling."
OOC: This is basically a play on how G3 seemed to love scented figures for some reason.
Session 59.17 Mtangalion
Rainbow Dash flew out of a clear evening sky and glided down towards a certain cave, one of many in a rocky cliff that overlooked Sweet Apple Acres. "Windy?" she shouted into the dark cave mouth. "Is everything okay? You gonna make it for Dusklight game night?"
Windy's voice came echoing back out of the cave. "Go away!"
"Nothing doing!" yelled Dash. "Princess Luna interrupted my nap to tell me you needed a friend, so that's what..." She trailed off, sniffing the air. There was a small pile of apple cores on the ground below. Dash darted downwards for a closer look, inhaling deeply. "Candy apples?" She flew back up to the cave mouth. "Is this the thestral version of eating a whole tub of ice cream?"
"I refuse to do the same thing that Rarity would do!" yelled Windy.
Dash grinned. "Rrrrright. I'm coming in." It got dark really quick past the cave mouth, though... Windy's lamps weren't on. Rainbow hesitated, then tried a trick that Soarin' had shown her. She struck her forehooves together, making a tiny spark, then fed wind magic into it, creating a tiny crackling ball of light.
The flickering shadows made the room a lot spookier than usual, which gave Windy the perfect opportunity to lunge at Rainbow from behind the sofa, hissing with fangs out and wings spread.
Rainbow yelped and fumbled the spark ball, plunging Windy's house into darkness again, but she stood her ground. "T- That doesn't scare me! I know thestrals don't bite pegasi to turn them into more thestrals!"
"I'd hope so," said Windy glumly. "Since I'm the one who explained that to you."
Rainbow blushed in the pitch darkness, scratching her mane with a hoof. She could vaguely sense the shape of the cavern by the wind currents, but she'd lost track of Windy again. "Will you at least tell me what's got you so down?"
Windy heaved a great sigh. "Fine." There was a rustling of paper, and Windy threw something. Rainbow blindly snatched it out of the air... a newspaper? Then Windy grudgingly lit one of the lamps and sprawled on a sofa. "Check the review columns."
Rainbow blinked, squinting in the sudden light, then spread the pages and flipped through today's issue of the Canterlot Chronicle with her wings. "Oh hey, that's the new Dusklight book coming out next week!" Her eyes grew wide as she continued to read the review. "More tripe for overimaginative fillies? ... My four-year old foal could write better!?"
The further Rainbow read, the more her blood boiled. She threw the newspaper down, grinding her teeth. "What a jerk! Who does this Mordant Cranberry pony think he is? I'll hoof him right in the jaw! Let's see how many crappy reviews he writes after I put ten thousand volts through his typewriter!"
Windy sprang up from the couch and put a hoof on Dash's shoulder before she could go flying off. "Whoa, whoa! Aren't you still on probation for that whole weather factory thing?"
Dash cringed. "Um, kind of? Just a little? Eh-heh!"
Windy smiled faintly, shaking her head. "It's okay, Dash. You don't need to go out of your way to defend me." She turned away, hanging her head. "I'm not worth it."
"Hey!" Dash trotted around Windy, looking her right in the eyes again. "Don't beat yourself up like that. It's just one jerk blowing hot air!"
"A critic, Dash! A professional." Windy paced away, then spun around, wings spread. "Somepony who's supposed to really know about writing, and he's not the only one either!"
Rainbow Dash smirked. "Have I told you about the time Rarity and Pinkie went to Canterlot? Turns out, all the stuffy important ponies in Canterlot were eating terrible food, just because of this one critic."
Windy actually smirked a bit at that. "That does sound like something they'd do." She hesitated. "Dash... You're my friend, right? You wouldn't lie to me. Am... am I a bad writer?"
Dash didn't hesitate a moment. "No way!"
Windy blinked. "But..."
"Lemme put it to you this way... I'm not just anypony here... I'm Rainbow Dash! I'm not a girly pony. I totally don't do romance and mushy stuff like that... but I like your books! I don't know how that happened exactly, and it's not something I'd brag about in the Wonderbolts' locker room, but I think your books are great! So do lots and LOTS of other ponies!"
Windy sat her hindquarters down, jaw hanging open.
"And... and maybe you just need to hear other ponies say that more often! With your day job being a big secret and all..."
"Night job," said Windy automatically.
"... you probably don't get to hear other ponies tell you in person that you rock, nearly as often as you should! Every now and then, I mean, not every five seconds!" Dash trailed off. "Am I making any sense here? I'm... not that great at the big dramatic speeches thing."
Windy sighed once more, then finally smiled. "Yeah. You know, you could be onto something."
Dash tilted her head. "Oh?"
"I can't even tell my own family that I'm really Midnight Heart, not unless I want to go totally public. I love them, but there's no way they'd be able to keep their mouths shut. That's why my dad thinks I must be writing top secret Night Guard tactical manuals or something." Windy rolled her eyes. "And my brother figures I'm writing straight up porn and don't want to admit it, and my mom thinks the whole writing career is just a cover story, and I'm really Princess Luna's... no, I can't even say it."
Rainbow giggled. "Trust me, I totally know where you're coming from on that."
"How?" asked Windy, confused.
"Er... I'll explain later! Right now, we've gotta fly, or we'll be late for the game. You up for it?"
Windy took a deep breath. "Heh, okay. Let's go secretly hang with my beloved fans. And Rarity."
A week later, Windy Whisper was home alone, unfolding the latest Canterlot Chronicle and going straight to the review columns again, despite a sense of creeping dread. The young thestral scanned the columns, made a sour face, and started to crumple up the whole paper.
Something caught her eye at the last second, though, made her smooth the paper back out again. There, on the opposite page from Mordant Cranberry's regular column. ‘Why I think Dusklight is actually pretty cool - An interview with Rainbow Dash'
Windy grinned. "Thanks, Dash."
Session 59.18 Alex Warlorn
Spike reading through his comics as Starlight took a swing at Dungeon Mastering (promising to NOT try to strangle Trixie if she drove things off the rails, again). He look aggravated by the back issues of Radiance, in particular 'Radiant Twilight.' "So wait, so Radiance went mad with grief when her home town was all turned to crystal, and the Protectors of the Universe refused to help her, so she went on a rampage against her fellow Bracelet Holders, and after the story arc they just retcon her to being possessed?! How can ponies just swallow this tripe?"
-
Princess Luna sneezed in her sleep.
Session 59.19 Kendell2
"So...your character is a rock troll..." said Twilight, sitting with the group for a game. Everything seemed balanced, so she allowed it.
"Yes..." said Maud in her typical way. "They share my affinity for rocks..."
"Makes sense..." Twilight commented.
"Her name is Sandstone...she likes igneous rock...she actually dislikes sand...and sandstone. Because it's too rough...and gets everywhere..." the grey Earth Pony replied. There was a beat. "...That was meant to be ironic..."
"Oh..."
"Because her name is Sandstone but she doesn't like sandstone..."
Pinkie Pie laughed. "Good one Maud!"
"Alright...clever if nothing else..."
"She's also a drummer...who uses rocks...I considered being a drummer once..."
Meanwhile in Mirror Equestria, Mirror Maud sneezed as she and her band practiced.
"Alright Maud, the dragon closes in on your group, what do you do?" asked Twilight later in the game.
Maud looked down at the board. "...Our area is in a canyon...I'm assuming there's plenty of rocks...Most likely limestone of some sort given the area..."
"Yes..." Twilight replied.
"...Sandstone throws a rock at him."
The group stared and blinked.
"...It was a big rock..."
Twilight did the proper rolls and blinked. "Critical hit...the Dragon is stunned, leaving it vulnerable..."
"...Never underestimate the power of rocks..." Maud said. "They were here long before we were and will be there long after we're gone. Right boulder?"
Boulder sat there.
"...He said yes...then started laughing maniacally..."
"...I'll take your word for it..." Twilight replied.
Session 59.20 Devcon101
“Two of Moon!”
“Two o’ Moon!”
“Hmm...Two of Moon, darling.”
“Ha! Two of Moon!”
Trixie watched Twilight and co as they played a card game reminiscent of the “Two of Moon” joke game she had played with Starlight and Discord.
“...Are you trying to mess with me?”
Twilight gave her an odd look.
“...We’re not trying to mess with you.”
Trixie raised a brow, rather confused.
“Then why...?” she asked, gesturing at the game they were playing.
Twilight continued her odd look, before it dawned on her.
“Oh! Somepony ended up making an actual game based on it. It’s rather confusing, but you get the hang of it quickly.”
Trixie blinked.
“Somepony actually made a game based on that?”
“Apparently. Now, where was I...? Ah yes, Two of Moon!”