//------------------------------// // Lightning Round: The Facades We Wear // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Advisory: Please set "Formatting" to "Dark" before you continue reading. Thank you. Although... that might not necessarily apply here. Up to you. This probably wasn't exactly what you asked for, but I wanted to do something in this way. Properties in this chapter belong to their respective owners. --- *Tick-tock* *Tick-tock* Burst Lightning Round Here, we skip the analysis and go straight for the fights. Two fighters! All action! No research! Lightning Round! Start the clock and... go! ---Pinkamena vs. Joker--- (Friendship is Magic vs. Persona 5) It's another party, successfully put together at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie zips around the place from guest to guest, making sure every pony in the building is having a good time. She refills a few cups of punch here, adds an extra cupcake to a plate there, and makes silly faces for some of the younger attendees. What none of the guests seem to notice are the drips of sweat building up underneath Pinkie's mane. Every so often, she gasps on her dry throat. Even a sip of punch seems to do nothing to ease her pain, but she refuses to show anything but her happiest face that she can muster. Off to the side, a particular guest presses a finger against his glasses. A black cat with bright blue eyes meows, while facing the boy's ear. But it hides back in his bag after he nods. He pulls out his phone and taps a glowing red eye app. The scene around and all the guests appear to vanish as reality is washed over with ripples of red. The young man has a new outfit on. His clothes consist of a trench coat, red gloves, and a white mask over his eyes. He puts his hands in his coat pockets and casually walks over to the other side of the empty bakery. The far wall looks twisted in on itself as it surrounds a particular pony. Bits of red and black shade seem to be rising out of the ground from underneath her hooves. Her glowing yellow eyes stare at the floor. "It doesn't matter if I'm not happy. I'll make myself suffer as much as I have to if it'll make all of them cheer up." The boy holds out his right glove. "It doesn't sound like you believe yourself." "What? Who are you?" Shadow Pinkie crouches. "Get away from me! You'll make everypony sad if you try anything!" The bubbling shade engulfs the visage of Pinkie. It looks like she's turning into a liquid inside and out. When the particles recede back to mostly underneath her, she looks a lot different. Her mane is straight and down, her hide is all faded, and she has sky blue eyes looking in different directions. Her smile looks like it is in pain and deranged. The masked kid pulls a knife out of his inventory and stands ready. It's time to get serious! Engage! "Joker, I'm not picking up a weakness," comments Morgana in his Metaverse form. "You'll have to hit it with everything." "Oh, what's this?" Pinkamena's eyes dart around. The pony's other self somehow grabs hold of the talk bubble with Morgana's image still talking inside of it. "H-Hey, what the...?!" Morgana can't even finish his thought as he gets shaken off the screen. "Hmm..." She looks through Joker's analysis. "LV 99? Ha ha ha, naughty boy. Tell me, masked phantom... how many execution points did you need to get so high and violent?" Joker senses a murderous intent. He jumps up just in time for a row of giant knives to rise up out of the floor. They fall just a second before he lands on the ground. Pinkamena holds out a hoof and summons another row of knives. They rush ahead, forcing Joker to dodge left and right. Pinkamena pulls out something that looks like Pinkie Pie's party cannon. But instead of releasing confetti, it releases a big laser blast. Joker rips off his mask, unleashing blood and blue fires. His Persona Arsene appears and shields his human self, using his black-feathered wings. The cannon blast dissipates, though not before Arsene lets out a groan from the effort. "By the way..." Pinkamena shrugs her shoulders and raises her front hooves. "If you think I'm just going to rip off Pinkielovania... just how limited do you think I am?" Joker subtly switches the mask on his face before ripping it off again. "Seth!" A dark-colored wyvern emerges and flaps its wings hard. This creates a tornado that swirls around Pinkamena's current location. She appears to spin around in the direction of the high-powered winds. She doesn't lose her deranged smile and unblinking eyes. The Shadow pony's next attack composes of birthday candles spinning around the room. They close in and ignite, just before jabbing Joker's position. The Phantom Thief pulls out a small gun and fires multiple times while turning clockwise. Each shot somehow blows out one of the candles. But the last candle is a trick candle and burns against his coat anyway. He grunts at the light damage he takes. He switches masks again. "Odin!" This Persona takes the form of a purple giant in light, gladiator attire. It holds its giant spear in front of itself. Upon doing so, Joker's eyes look more focused... concentrating on something. Pinkamena attempts to break this little staring contest by conjuring some more confetti cannons. Smaller laser blasts pepper the field, as Joker does his best to dodge around all of them. "Metatron!" Joker conjures forth a Persona of large, angelic stature. This being holds out its hand and conjures some kind of nuclear blast right at Pinkamena's trunk area. She lets out a slight holler of discomfort and leans back. Joker uses this opportunity to activate a skill that creates a light aura of green around and above him. Pinkamena recovers her deranged sitting position and holds up a hoof. A bunch of different saw blades come out of nowhere and float in her enemy's direction. Joker jumps over one bone saw and ducks under a spinning blade saw. He then backflips through the narrow yet safe space between two incoming hack saws. He runs forth and tries slashing his own knife weapon at her. She jumps up and hangs in the air, dodging the swing of Joker's arm. A large candle appears out of nowhere and knocks Joker back. "Time to die!" The Shadow enemy pulls out an enormous scythe and lifts it high. It looks as big as half of a high-definition, plasma screen television. She swings the weapon with sound cracking behind its motion. "Izanagi Picaro!" Joker pulls off his mask again. "Cross... Slash!" The sound of metal clangs against a dark screen. When the picture comes back, it reveals a tall swordsman in a black-and-red plaid outfit. Its giant blade is holding back the scythe. Pinkamena tries to pull back and slash from multiple directions. The Persona, however, slashes in opposite paths every time. Sparks fly each time the weapons collide. A skeletal pony appears above Pinkamena's head. Upon its arrival, several bones of varying colors form a wall that practically fills the room. They all charge toward Joker's position. He pulls out his gun and pulls the trigger several times. Some of the bones crack and deteriorate, but there's still a formidable wall approaching. Grunting, Joker changes his mask again. "Thanatos Picaro!" When the mask is pulled, a monstrosity appears with what look like giant coffins strung to its back. Its front limbs look like they are adorned with black and red gloves. Each 'hand' carries a giant sewing needle. Thanatos Picaro jumps into the wall of bones and swings its needles everywhere. Every swing crushes some more bones of the wall. Within twenty seconds, the entire wall is crumbling to dust. A few broken blue bones still hit Joker in the arms, but he's still standing. Pinkamena pulls out several party cannons and triggers them one after the other. Joker flips around, spins, and jumps to avoid the first three cannon blasts. However, the large number that is left starts to overwhelm him. Laser after laser gets a graze on him. The screen goes completely white. Joker pants for breath. The image comes back to reveal him crouched on the ground. His Persona Arsene is back, floating above him. It looks like smoke is coming out of it at the claws, arms, and wings. It appears that Pinkie's other self is also having trouble keeping her breath calm. Sweat drips down from her mane, even as she tries to hold her eerie smile. If there were music going on, it would be quieting down to match the current situation. "Why? Why do you refuse to die? Do you want me to spread my misery?" The Phantom Thief stands to his feet and looks at her. "You don't have to shackle yourself to two extremes." "What?" "The ability to feel more than one emotion is a strength." His mask reforms over his face. "If you need to, start out small and show your unhappy self to a few people at a time. Once you start that, more will be willing to help cheer you up, just as much as you do for others." She sounds like she's chuckling. But that quickly breaks down into crying, with water streaming down from her eyes and the corners of her mouth descending. Light particles surround the other Pinkie and she vanishes from this world of thought. A small sphere of light floats where she used to be. Joker sweeps his arm around and grabs the light's contents. He turns around to leave, and the world's red waves bring back reality. --- Back in the real Sugarcube Corner and its current party, Pinkie Pie steps into the kitchen. She seems a little more... solemn. Mr. Cake stops what he's doing and trots over. He looks like he's about to ask what's wrong, but Pinkie throws herself against his shoulder. She cries. Unsure of the specifics, Mr. Cake gently hugs her and closes his eyes. On the other side of the kitchen, the boy with glasses puts on an apron. From his pocket, he pulls out Pinkie Pie's recipe for the "Sampler Platter" and gets to work. --- On the victor's pedestal, Joker adjusts the sleeves over his red gloves and grins smugly at the camera. This Lightning Round's winner is... Akira Kurusu! ---