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// "Yippie-aye-aee, yippie-aye-ohh..." 
// Story: Ghost Riders In the Sky (A Gunslinger's Sins) 
// by The Bricklayer 
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Hoofsteps clopped against the rocky outcroppings of the cliffs that overlooked the Appleloosian plains. A orange toned mare rested herself up against a rock wall as she watched the skies in front of her. Grey clouds loomed in the distance as a harsh wind blew through the canyons, warning of an oncoming storm on approach even as the sun set in the distance, casting a reddish glow across the pink and blue skies. A coyote howled somewhere causing the mare to shiver in slight nervousness and clutch her brown coat closer to herself. She always hated that sound, it always reminded her that everypony had to die sometime and that there was going to be something left to pick up whatever scraps of you the buzzards didn’t get at first.

“Damn well wish Ah knew where the thang was so Ah could shoot it so it would at least shut up and give mah mind some peace and quiet.” The mare thought to herself, the reflection of the setting sun hitting her green irises and matching her red bandanna that she wore around her neck perfectly. She cocked her shotgun and fired off a round in the air, hoping the coyote would get the message and run off.

“Ah swear, those damned things have been tracking me for days it seems like. Might be the heat of the desert starting to get to me, but this old cowgirl knows when she’s being watched. Ah didn’t join up with gangs and become one of the most infamous outlaws in the west without picking up some survival instincts after all.” The mare thought to herself, tilting her hat in shame at what she’d performed as the mare known only as the Gunslinger. She came during the night, in the twilight hours where everypony was asleep and could rob a whole Union Soldier campsite or Buffalo encampment blind and leave a trail of bodies in her wake without anypony being the wiser until the bodies were discovered picked clean days later. In the desert out here, it was kill or be killed. Survival of the fittest in the Red West, as it was called. You had to stay on top of the food chain as an outlaw, constantly proving yourself to others that ya still had in in you and keeping your place from those who wanted to knock you off your throne.

“It’s very lonely at the top, Ah must admit though… Ah’d like a companion, a fellow pardner out on the trail but ya can’t trust nopony when you’re where Ah am.” Applejack mused to herself. “If ya do, you’re a tad likely to get picked off and your body left to rot in the desert heat for the buzzards and coyotes to do the rest. That’s what happened to grandpappy, and Ah’m not going to let it happen to me. It’s a burden of the outlaw life, and the cross Ah have to bear.”

Applejack took out a guitar and began strumming a tune softly to herself as the sun set slowly over the horizon. The song was called “The Dreary Dreary life”, and it went a little like this.

“A cowboy's life is a dreary, dreary life,
Some say it's free from care;
Rounding up the cattle from morning till night
In the middle of the prairie so bare.
“Half-past four, the noisy cook will roar,
“Whoop-a-whoop-a-hey!”
Slowly you will rise with sleepy-feeling eyes,
The sweet, dreamy night passed away.”

Applejack’s weary voice, parched from thirst filled the valley echoing off the rocks and the coyotes seemingly howled in tune to the song. The moon rose even as the clouds began to gather and rumble with the sound of distant thunder. But if you listened closely, there was another sound mixed in along with that sound. Another type of rumble, one often heard on the prairie lands. The sound of a stampede. If Applejack was a more superstitious mare, she might have picked up on it, but she never believed in ghosts. She only believed in what she could see with her own two eyes, and what she could touch with her own four hooves.

“Storm’s a-comin’, Celestia damnit.” Applejack muttered as she began to adjust her head on a rock and kept her shotgun close to her side. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was the safest maneuver she could think up at the time. After all, as I said before, you never could be too careful in the Red West.

“Best it not disturb mah sleep. Ah’d be rightfully ticked off if I don’t get mah shuteye.” Applejack murmured to nopony in particular as she lowered her hat over the brow of her head even further and began to drift off into dreamland. Suddenly, the thundering, rumbling sound began again, almost as if somepony high up was trying to send a message. Applejack’s eyes shot wide open and she went for her shotgun and aimed it at where she thought she heard the sounds coming from.

“This… This isn’t simply possible! I’m on a ridge! No herd of cows is that stupid enough to come this way, even a frightened one!” Applejack thought, her eyes darting right and left as she searched for the source of the sound. Now she wouldn’t admit it at the time, but she was rightly scared out of her wits. After all, what pony wouldn’t be when you heard a herd of steers coming right at you in the dark of the night and you couldn’t tell where they were coming from?

Applejack looked down to the desert floor far below her, that was where the sounds had to be coming from. But to her shock, there were absolutely no cattle stampeding by. However, when she looked down, she sighed in relief and took a few calming breaths. It was just a group of buffalo on a late night run.

“Look at yerself, AJ! Gettin’ all worked up over what turned out to be simply nothin’ at all!” Applejack chastised herself and put away her shotgun, holstering it on her back. 

“Best you get some sleep and rest for a spell. Got a long ways to go yet before you reach yer destination and the next town where nopony knows your name.” She told herself.

Applejack then curled up near a bush and tried to sleep. She never did get much sleep that night however, far too frightened by her late night disturbance although she’d never admit to herself that’s what it was that scared her half to death.







Applejack walked into a saloon and all eyes were at once upon her. She ignored them and just asked for a sarsaparilla, ragtime piano music playing in the background. The bartender, a pure white mare with a cherry red mane slid one across the table to her and AJ began drinking it down. However, she couldn’t ignore the whispers that fed out from across the saloon’s other tables. One conversation in particular caught her ears, originating from a yellow furred stallion wearing a vest and a stetson upon his orange maned head.

“Hey, did ya hear? I heard there was this hit on another steam train a few nights back! Runnin southbound through a valley with a load of gold, and this here mare leaped into an open car and made off with a ton of gold! They say… and you won’t believe it, The Gunslinger did it!”

The stallion’s buddies leaned in closer even as Applejack tried to block it out and stay as inconspicuous as possible. Her hoof went to one of her pistols on her belt, just in case she needed to fight her way out of here.

“Ah’m not kidding!”

“Yer pulling our legs Brae!” A light blue pegasus with a dark blue spikey mane shouted back. “How did the Gunslinger make off with some much gold and what he or she, if he or she even exists, do with it?”

“She does exist!” Another mare, one with a moderate cerise coat of fur and a pale pink mane attested. “Mah cousin personally got robbed while he was on a stagecoach going westbound to Appleloosa! Found him days later, parched and nearly dead! Even had a lipstick mark on his right cheek!”

“Naw, that’s the most ridiculous thing Ah ever heard!” The stallion referred to as “Brae” argued back. “The Gunslinger never leaves his or her victims alive, and she certainly doesn’t kiss them!”

“Well, I’m telling you it’s true!”

Applejack smirked to herself. That stallion was awfully handsome, but why she didn’t kill him was a mystery to her. Tartarus, she hadn’t killed a pony in months really. It was like some outside force was keeping her from doing it.

“Now you’re the one being ridiculous, AJ! There’s no God up there who influences ponies at his or her whim, and even if there was Ah certainly wouldn’t be high on God’s list of priorities! Ah’m too far gone for that, too far gone to be saved.” Applejack thought to herself, and even as she did so she could swear thunder rumbled even if there wasn’t a cloud in the sky…







Later that night, after clearing out of town as quick as she could and getting as far away so that the lights of the little town were only a flicker in the distance, Applejack made camp. As she rubbed two sticks together to make a fire, she noted clouds were suddenly starting to build up faster than they should have naturally.

“Oh, Ah don’t like this… Ah don’t pretend to like it one bit.” Applejack whispered as she went for her shotgun. Then she heard it, the sound of hooves thundering across the plains. She looked up, and across the skies and up the cloudy draw was a herd of cattle. But not just any cattle, oh no. They were black as night, fur almost blending in with the night sky. If it weren’t for their unnaturally glowing red eyes gleaming like the fires of Hell itself she might not have taken notice. Their horns shown and glinted through the sky, and they had flaming brands that never seemed to go out as they thundered on by. Behind them, there was a pegasus with sky blue fur and an equally unnatural prismatic mane, like a rainbow after an especially fierce thunderstorm. She wore pure black armor that covered her head and body and was trying to lasso up a cow. Her face was gaunt and hollow and trailing with sweat as if she’d been trying to chase these cows for her entire lifetime.

Applejack, not even knowing she was doing so, began to cross herself with a single hoof. Her shotgun fell from her hooves as a bolt of fear went through her.

“What in God’s name…?” She whispered and the pegasus broke off from her chase and galloped down towards her. As she approached, Applejack noted that she didn’t seem to be entirely physical in nature and that she could see right through her.

“So, you finally admit there’s a god of some sort?” The pegasus asked. “Good for you for not succumbing to stupidity like most ponies do these days and getting yourself killed.”

“Although,” The unknown pegasus mare continued. “You might just wind up doing that if you’re not careful. I was an idiot once, and now you see the result, me trying to catch the devil’s herd across those endless skies.”

“W-Who are ya?” Applejack, taking a few steps back in fear until she found herself up against a Yucca tree.

‘I’m Commander Hurricane.” The mare stated, and at Applejack’s raised eyebrow she remarked “Yes, that one. Now, I’ve been sent to give you a warning.”

“Now don’t tell me you’ve been on bended knee, talking to the mare from Galilee?” Applejack deadpanned, completely in disbelief.

“Actually, yes I have. She sent me here, to give you a warning and it’s this. Now, I don’t honestly remember the exact wording, but she does note that you’re a good shot and you could make use of that.”

“What, by continuing in mah robbin and killin?” Applejack deadpanned and a bolt of lightning struck her just for that show of disrespect.

“Might want to watch yourself. She doesn’t like being disrespected. Anyways, my point is this. Cowgirl, you’d better change your ways, otherwise you’ll end up like me…” Hurricane trailed off and gestured to the herd of Hell Cattle. “Trying to catch them, and believe me, you never will.”

"B-But Ah don't think Ah can. Ah'm nearly forty as it is, and by this time Ah'm far too set in mah ways to just go and change now!" Applejack argued, but Hurricane could tell she was weakening and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you? You haven't killed a pony in months. Robbed them maybe, but not killed them. Ask me, why did you spare that stallion a couple months back, the one you robbed while he was in his stagecoach?" Hurricane inquired.

For that, Applejack had no answer.

"I think I might know," Hurricane continued. "He saved your life a few years back, and now look where he is. He's trying to become a deputy in Dodge Junction, might even make it to Sheriff if somepony were around to teach him about upholding the law."

Applejack burst out laughing.

"And ya think that pony is me?"

"Well, who better to teach somepony else about the law than one who's constantly breaking it?" Hurricane pointed out. "And besides, God heard your thoughts about somepony you wanted to share the trails with. I'd say he'd be a perfect choice. Maybe not as a lover, but you do need a partner."

"Well... That is true..." Applejack mused as she rubbed her chin with a hoof in thought. Hurricane smirked.

"And hey, you might get a coltfriend out of it," Hurricane continued before a smirk crossed her face. "Or marefriend-If you're into that sort of thing. Mares do love ponies in uniform after all, I should know. God, she certainly doesn't care who you wind up with."

"My point is, you need somepony to trust and rely on if you don't want to get shot and to help you change your ways. I had somepony like that once, and in the end, I betrayed them and looked where I ended up... Trying to catch the Devil's herd across these endless skies. So do me a favor, and don't wind up like me. It's not a fate I'd wish on anypony."

With that, Hurricane faded away into the night as she flew off after the cattle and they were soon to follow leaving Applejack to think on her words…







A few years later, in the town of Dodge Junction, there was a bank robbery. Now the old sheriff, Stan Silverstar had retired but another one had taken his place. As the robbers tried to flee, one found himself falling to the ground, blood pooling in the dirt from a gunshot to his foreleg and the money bags dropping to the ground. As he tried to reach for the bags, a hoof stopped him and the robber looked up. There was Applejack, with a shiny star pinned to her vest and signature stetson on her head. She was aiming a shiny silver Colt Peacemaker at the robber's leg, ready to fire off another shot.

“Now, ya might want to think about what yer doing here. Ah wasn’t called the Gunslinger without good reason.” Applejack smirked, and the robber laid his head in the dirt in defeat as Applejack’s deputies, two stallions, one blue in color and the other yellow nabbed his partners.

Later that night, at her desk as Applejack rested her weary eyes she could have sworn she heard cattle thunder on by and out of the corner of her eye, a sky blue pegasus giving her a nod of approval before fading away...

The End