Flim, Flam, and the Little Lost Apple Scam
Saturday’s Child
Dawn broke across Sweet Apple Acres in a dazzling display of colorful morning clouds and sweetly singing birds, the latter of which Applejack suspected had been sent by Fluttershy just to make her day seem brighter and more beautiful. It only went to show that although her friend may have been the Element of Kindness, she was not the Element of Forethought⁽*⁾.
(*) Fluttershy had once been so concerned about Rainbow Dash after a night of drinking that she sent Mister Woodpecker over to wake her up in the morning so she would not miss any of her weather work.
The very much sleep-deprived young farmpony trudged across the the farmyard over to the barn, ignoring the birdsong that the young foal in the dusty carrier across her back was enjoying so much, with delighted coos of happiness and wriggles in an attempt to escape her imprisonment. Guests would normally get the courtesy of a gentle knock at the door and an announcement of impending breakfast. Applejack bucked the barn door open so hard it threatened to leave the hinges while she bellowed, “Good morning, you two lazy varmints!”
It really was impressive how rapidly both brothers went from a sound sleep to a rapid gallop in the direction of the back door of the barn, managing to scoop up their hats and meager possessions in the process. Flim was the first one to slow down and stop with a look back over his shoulder at where Sprout was giggling at their antics, but Flam was only a step slower, because he had stopped while holding the door open for his brother.
“Friend Applejack,” started Flam with an uncertain expression, much as if he were considering just how fast he would have to run to escape the frazzled and very much coffee-deprived young mare who was glaring daggers at him.
“Cousin Apple—” Flim froze in place as Applejack’s intent stare switched targets. “I mean Jacqueline,” he corrected while withering under her unwelcome attention. Obviously attempting to change the subject, the conniving unicorn took a peek at the adorable foal gurgling and cooing on Applejack’s back and put on his best hopeful expression. “So how did Daddy’s little girl sleep?”
“Like a baby,” grumbled Applejack. “Up every hour to cry or pee or want fed or I don’t even know.”
* * *
The brothers stayed close to the Apple family and the foal through a relatively sparse breakfast of apple-fortified hotcakes, oatmeal, coffee, apple juice, toast, and formula, although only the youngest of them drank the last one. Despite Applejack’s best efforts, the unicorn brothers only had a few a few pieces of toast and some oatmeal for breakfast, much as if they seemed to be afraid of eventually finding it on their bill, although Big Mac and Apple Bloom had no problems eating the leftovers.
“We’re gonna start you varmints out easy,” said Applejack once the foal had been tucked into the family crib and Granny Smith had taken her place next to it. “Ah’ve got about half of the baskets checked for this year’s harvest afore I got interrupted yesterday, so if’n we can get to work on them today, with your help we should be able to be ready for harvest in good time.”
“I don’t see why you would be using old baskets to collect your harvest,” said Flam, stroking his moustache. “Once our new machine in Appleloosa is complete—”
“And we agree on a name,” added Flim.
“—my brother and I could harvest your entire orchard in half the time.”
“If it worked,” said Flim. “There are still a few minor steps that need to be done.”
“Parts to be purchased,” said Flam.
“Some minor assembly,” said Flim
“And of course a certain amount of testing,” said Flam.
Both brothers chorused, “But we can get you in on the bottom floor of this investment opportunity for the low price of—”
Applejack stuffed a pancake into each of their mouths.
“Ah ain’t buying no magic machine to harvest our apples and make cider,” snapped Applejack, “particularly with the way you finagled your last hunk of junk. Just because it was faster than our traditional harvestin’ don’t mean it was better.”
“That was the old prototype,” said Flim once he had finished chewing. “After our last encounter with your— I mean our family—” The young stallion cut off abruptly again, due to the scorching glare that Applejack bestowed on him that by all means should have set his mane on fire.
“What my brother is trying to say, ma’am, is that our experience here taught us a valuable lesson.” Flam doffed his hat and held it over his chest. “Only fools go into sales without listening to their customers. The quality and care the Apple family puts into their product is legendary, and if we were to sully that good name, we could see a dramatic decrease in your sales.”
His brother promptly doffed his hat the same way once Flim put an elbow into his side. “If we are to be associated with Sweet Apple Acres, even distantly, it only behooves us to hold to the same level of quality control and excellence which has made your family name legend throughout Equestria.”
Big Mac got up from the breakfast table and headed for the front door.
“Consarn it, Mac,” snapped Applejack, far sharper than she had intended. “Where ya headed?”
“Barn,” said Big Mac. “Gonna get mah boots. It’s gettin’ deep in here.”
Applejack scowled at the two scoundrels once Big Mac had strode out of sight. “Now you two have done it. He’s gonna be all bent out of shape for days. You keep this up an’ he’ll be speaking whole sentences afore long. Last time it took a month for his mouth to run dry.”
“Sorry, Miss Applejack,” said Flim.
“Our apologies, ma’am,” said Flam.
“Ah ain’t the one all upset about it,” muttered Applejack with a quick peek in the crib to make sure the cute unicorn foal was sleeping. Considering who her father was, Sprout could not have looked more innocent with a halo and a surrounding chorus of chirping birds, but that was probably just her mother’s side coming through. “Apple Bloom’s gotta get ready for school, then Ah’ll take you two out to the barn and we’ll spend the day checking and reweaving baskets, if you’ll apologize to Big Mac first, otherwise he’ll just sit there and think of things to say all day like some word fountain.”
“Ah got yer little one, so don’t you worry none,” said Granny Smith, leaning over the edge of the crib with a wistful smile on her wrinkled face. “There may be a few years on this old mare, but she’s still got it.”
* ♥ *
After watching the brothers apologize to Big Mac, Applejack had to admit a certain admiration for the way they coordinated their actions like a pair of jugglers with so many lies and half-truths flying around between them. They certainly tried to be truthful in their apology, but just like a wagon settling back into a set of comfortable ruts, they would exaggerate a point or twist the meaning of a word until Applejack put an end to their shenanigans before they tried to con her idiot brother out of the farm. Again.
Instead, they all spent the rest of the morning sorting and fixing baskets. It was not really the most glamorous job on a farm, if there were such a thing, but once Applejack had caught the brothers attempting to slip their second defective basket into the approved pile and delivered yet another scorching lecture, the two of them settled down and put in a good morning’s work. In fact, Applejack was amazed at how quickly the duo learned how to re-weave the broken baskets from last year and get them ready for harvest. Maybe there was a tiny bit of Apple in them, other than the marks on their rumps.
“So how did y’all get your cutie marks, anyway?” asked Applejack after a few hours of work. “The two of you seem awfully close. Did you get them at the same time?”
“Close?” Flam raised an eyebrow while using his magic to reinforce the bottom of a frayed basket. “Why, my brother has hardly ever been out of my sight except during the time we were recently estranged.”
“Other than a few times with the lovely Marian, brother of mine,” corrected Flim. “Why, we have been the closest of friends and fiercest competitors throughout our entire life, Miss Jacqueline. We shall never be able to thank your dear grandmother enough for her kindness in reuniting us, although I only wish we had never quarrelled in the first place. It was a terrible time, being estranged from my brother for so long. Why, I nearly considered—”
“Taking up a legitimate trade?” said Applejack with a raised eyebrow of her own.
“Politics,” said Flam. “He even had a campaign slogan put together for his attempt at becoming Dodge Junction’s mayor.”
“Vote for me?” suggested Big Mac.
“Ahh…” Flim carefully put the basket he was working on into the completed pile and picked up the next one in the stack for consideration. “How did you know?”
“Relatives,” said Big Mac.
“Don’t think there’s a corner of Equestria nowhere without an Apple or two in it,” said Applejack with no small amount of pride. “Ever since you two visited our farm the first time, we’ve been getting letters from kinfolk far and wide about what you’ve been up to.” Messing with the baskets had embedded a set of kinks in her back, so she stood up and stretched, looking at the scattering of work that remained, mostly baskets which had probably seen their last year of service.
“You seem to have an effective espionage force,” said Flim with a peculiar twist to his mouth indicating a certain distaste to having their activities observed. “Though I doubt if second-hoof comments about our various activities would be as accurate as our own recitation of events.”
“For one, you seem to have been as caught by surprise by my brother’s adorable bundle of joy as we were,” pointed out Flam.
“Point taken,” said Applejack. “Reckon there’s all kinds of surprises in the world, an’ that one ain’t so bad after all.” She looked at the brothers, who were still hard at work threading wicker through the weak spots in a pair of baskets. “So, I never did ask. Havin’ a foal out of wedlock musta hit your Marian pretty hard. How’s she holdin’ up?”
“That’s…” Flim rubbed his chin in thought while looking at the ground. “Complicated.”
“To say the least,” said Flam. “My brother did offer to make an honest mare out of her, but she refused. Strenuously.”
“Extensively,” said Flim, maintaining his observation of the barn floor.
“After our long absence from the area, we flipped a coin for which of us would return to Dodge Junction and attempt to make amends to the beautiful Marian, and which of us would see about recovering our uncompleted machine from Appleloosa.” Flam wiped the back of his forehoof across his nose with a quiet sniff. “When we next met, I was stunned beyond words. I had never seen my poor brother so depressed in my life. Words can flay the skin with edges far sharper than any blade, and he trudged back from his sojourn into Dodge Junction looking much as if he had been verbally reduced to ribbons. After a brief discussion, we determined our presence would only have made her shame and pain greater, so we departed immediately.”
“Almost immediately,” corrected Flim. “I located the orphanage in Canter Creek where Apple Sprout had been placed, and after swearing the matron to secrecy, I presented myself as the father. It took considerable time and a great deal of convincing, but the matron was a kind mare, and I do not blame her for the expenses incurred in adopting my daughter. It was, after all, my fault she was there in the first place.”
“I blame myself too,” said Flam, looking much as if his broad mustache was about to droop straight down. “If I had not attempted to liberate our uncompleted prototype machine from the clutches of our creditors in Appleloosa, we would not be in the fiscal pickle we are today, and we could have made recompense to our Cousin Applejack for her trouble.”
“Now hold on a minute.” Applejack put down the tattered remains of the basket she had been attempting to salvage and tramped over to Flam. “Two things, and the importantest goes first. Ah ain’t takin’ no money for caring for kinfolk, no way, no how. If’n there’s one thing Ah’m gonna get through your thick skulls, it’s that family is more important than anything, especially bits. We’ll take care of your daughter… I mean your brother’s daughter without no need to pay us back, an’ that goes for you two also, as long as you pitch in around here. Do you understand?”
Flam nodded slowly, but still looked as if he would rather have been anywhere else. “I can try.”
“Try harder.” Applejack jerked her head in Flim’s direction. “If’n your brother was in trouble, again, you’d do anything to help him. No matter how much it cost or how much work it took, you would step up to be beside him, sure as shooting, right?”
“Of course, Cousin Applejack.” The depressed stallion perked up and his mustache stopped drooping so much. “He’s my brother, and quite nearly the only family I have, excepting my newborn niece.”
“Bein’ Apple kin means you got a whole passel of brothers and sisters out there, even if some of ’em are scoundrels. An’ when one of ’em is in trouble, we Apples stick together and help each other out of whatever jam they done got into, no matter what. And since you’re f-f-family…” Applejack stopped to take a deep breath. “Whew. Anyway, don’t you be gettin’ all weepy about payin’ us back, you hear?”
“Yes, Cousin Applejack,” said Flam with a note of optimism this time. Even his moustache fluffed back out to a semblance of its original glory when that mischievous smile emerged back onto his face and he asked, “What was the second thing you wanted to tell us?”
Applejack took her hat off and thwapped the stallion across his nose. “Ah was gonna remind you not to call me ‘cousin’ or that’s gonna happen again. Now, it’s almost lunchtime, so let’s get washed up and into the house afore Granny needs to call us. She’s probably gonna need some help too, since she’s watchin’ yer little one.”
* ♥ *
The phrase ‘needing help’ was not in Granny Smith’s vocabulary. The tough old mare had been in Applejack’s life for every minute from the first breath she had taken after being born to the present. Through floods and snow, good times and bad, she had been the rock of the Apple clan, an inviolate shelter that had survived the death of her husband, son and daughter-in-law, as well as the passage of a century of hard farm life.
When Applejack strolled through the front door of the house and saw the kitchen, she thought for certain that Granny had finally met her match. Only one pot sat bubbling on the stove, but all it held was a bottle of foal formula while Granny Smith was focusing her attention elsewhere. Apple Sprout was scrambling across the kitchen floor, all knees and elbows in constant danger of collapse while her tiny hooves skittered across the slippery linoleum. Still, she was managing to keep ahead of a panting Granny Smith by about a length as they made circles around the table and through the disaster zone that the kitchen had turned into. Cups, plates, silverware, cooking utensils and just plain stuff was scattered all over the place, making the two ponies doing laps around the table jump over or knock to one side something with almost every step.
The four observers stood quietly amidst the noise until Flim lit his horn and picked up the foal, who flailed her limbs and gave a short set of sparks from her stubby horn in response. Still, it was not enough to escape, and he brought Apple Sprout in for a quick hug.
“Is Daddy’s little filly giving Granny a hard time?” he purred.
“I’m… fine…” panted Granny Smith after she clattered to a halt and put one hoof up to her back. “Jus’ a tad slower than I usta be, an’ couldn’t catch her when she got out of the crib. Lemme just sit down for a spell.”
“How in tarnation did Sprout get out of the crib?” mused Applejack while she strolled over to take a look at where she had spent much of her first year. Beautiful paintings of apple trees, apples, and barns covered both ends, and the straight slats of apple wood had been highly effective in keeping newborn Apples inside for decades. “Did she slip away when you got her out to feed her?”
“Danged if I know,” muttered Granny Smith before slumping down in her rocking chair. “One minute I was jus’ sitting the little one in for a quick nap an’ the next, she’s scrambling across the floor, headed for the stove.”
“Hm…” Applejack scooped up the foal and dropped her into the crib. At first, Sprout seemed to think it was a game, but after a moment, she sniffed a few times and curled her bottom lip.
“I’ll get her,” volunteered Flim, but slowed to a stop when Applejack held a hoof across his chest.
“Jus’ give her some time,” said Applejack. It did not take much time indeed for a golden spark to float up from the sniffling foal’s horn, and she promptly tumbled through the slats on the side of the crib to land on the floor on all four hooves.
“Whoa, there, little filly.” Applejack caught the foal before she darted for freedom and dropped her back into the crib. “I reckon we’re gonna need something more unicorn-proof than the Apple family crib for you.”
* ♥ *
It was a beautiful day to walk, even with all of the apple trees in the orchard so close to harvest, and Applejack trotted down the road to Ponyville with a happy passenger bouncing along in the foal carrier across her back.
“Ah never did like that crib either. An Apple needs to be outside in the fresh air.” Applejack took a deep breath with all of the potential of the harvest season flavoring every breeze. Soon, she would be working from dawn to dark out in the orchard until the first flakes of winter started. The minor twinges and aches that would grow through the harvest season had already begun to make themselves known in her ankles and hips as tiny indications of the pains they would soon become. Running an orchard was a lot of work, and was it really all that bad to have some help?
“Now they got me thinkin’ about that dadgum machine,” she grumbled, although without much of the ire she wanted to express. She was momentarily distracted by Apple Sprout, who had just begun to wave her tiny hooves around at a butterfly fluttering along with their journey, and it took quite a few steps before she could return to her original thoughts. “Jus’ because they can harvest an’ juice apples with that durned thing faster than us Apples, don’t mean it’s any better.”
Of course, that made her think of Princess Twilight Sparkle and her continual quest for ‘better’ in all things, except of course those things about which she did not want to rock the applecart. It felt awfully hypocritical to Applejack. Even though Twilight used a quill to write with instead of a steel-nibbed pen (an earth pony invention by somepony who did not like the way feathers tickled the inside of their cheeks), her books were all produced on monstrous steel presses, and she had no problem using a train to get somewhere rather than walking.
Of course, when Princess Twilight Sparkle had gained a castle, the clash between the natural order of things and technological progress had been taken up a notch. Instant magic crystal castles were notably lacking in lights, running water, plumbing, and particularly toilet facilities to take the disagreeable contents of their use outside, and more importantly, to the expensive sewage line the town had run to the castle in just under a week.
That first month of remodeling had been a particularly stressful one for Twilight. Fortunately, Cheerilee had opened up her back bedroom/storeroom for the displaced princess and dragon for the duration. Surrounded on all sides by Cheerilee’s old school books and older student projects, she had slept like a baby while industrious ponies worked quietly behind the scenes, and rumor had it, the contractors were treated to a full week of paid vacation in Neigh Orleans afterwards at Celestia’s expense.
When Applejack approached the crystal castle this afternoon, she gave a brief frown as she realized that out of all of her friends, only Twilight Sparkle had not visited the farm last night to coo and goo at the adorable foal. The massive front door of the castle was unlocked, of course, and Applejack trotted on in, looking around the sparkling walls and windows with a sense of awe undamped by the dozens of times she had been here before. Even Apple Sprout stared entranced with the way glittering sparks of light danced around from the sunlight pouring through the elaborate windows.
Twilight was in the library, of course, nestled into a collection of open books which she was attempting to read at once. She was not totally lost in her research project, because she looked up when Applejack entered the room, and then did a most satisfying double-take at the sight of the happy unicorn filly tucked into Applejack’s foal carrier.
“Applejack! Is that… I mean who is… Surely I haven’t been in the library that long.”
“Calm down, sugarcube.” She strode over to Twilight’s book-nest and twisted around to do the complicated contortion it took to extract a foal out of the carrier. “Durned things aren’t really designed for earth ponies.”
It took a few minutes, and nearly sent the foal tumbling across the library floor when she caught her knee in the fabric, but eventually Applejack put Sprout down on the floor and turned her to face Twilight Sparkle. “Twi, meet Apple Sprout, my quite-possibly distant cousin from, and I hate to say this, Flim.”
“Flim?” Twilight blinked several times. “One of the brothers who tried to cheat you out of your farm?”
“Yup.”
“I didn’t know you were related to them.” Several books from across the room promptly glowed and floated over to Twilight with their pages already opening for her perusal before Applejack held up a hoof.
“Hold up there, Twi.” Applejack settled down on a nearby cushion and pulled the excited foal against her to suppress Sprout’s fascination at so many crinkly pages and chewable covers within reach of her stubby legs and toothless jaws. “Flim and Flam showed up yesterday with this cutie in tow. Ah’m not sure if they’re kin, but I’m gonna send a letter to my Aunt Orange an’ let her do all the sortin’ through the orange side of the Apple family tree. Ah got a different job for you, if’n you’re up to it.”
The wriggling unicorn glowed gold for a moment and vanished with a loud pop, only to reappear on a pile of open books just barely out of reach of Applejack. She lunged for Apple Sprout’s hind leg anyway, and managed to catch her by one hoof and reel her back in before she vanished under a bookalanche.
“I see,” said Twilight. “Some powerful newborn unicorns can have unpredictable magical surges until they settle down, as you noticed. I presume you’re going to want some pretty potent counterspells set up around the house to keep her out of trouble.”
“Yup.” Applejack managed to get the excited foal pinned down and started rubbing her tummy, which calmed her down and stopped her wriggling progress toward freedom. “Ah never thought our family crib would be used by a unicorn.”
“I was starting to think your family crib would never get used,” said Twilight with a warm smile directed at the infant unicorn, who was waving her forelegs at the Princess of Friendship in an attempt to get picked up by the fascinating stranger. “All the rest of the girls at least have a social life. All you have in your life is round, red and comes in a bushel.”
“We’ve got yeller and green apples too, Twi,” said Applejack, trying not to sound just defensive or to counter with a book-related poke at Twilight Sparkle’s limited dating experience. “Ah ain’t got time to go sorting through the stallions in town, lookin’ for one that’s about ripe and ain’t been picked by no other mare. Time’s been short lately. Big Mac has been seein’ more of Cheerilee, and I’ve been picking up the slack around the farm while them two is off doin’ whatever they’ve been up to.”
“Is there kissing involved?” asked Twilight with a mischievous smile.
“No! I mean…” Applejack felt stuck between smiling at the giggling foal and frowning at her friend, leaving her face with either a smrown or a frile, depending on how Pinkie would interpret it. “What mah fool brother does on his own time don’t got nuttin’ to do with me. Now, can we get back to the subject please?”
“You need some way to keep your new cousin out from underhoof while you’re not watching her,” said Twilight Sparkle with what could only have been a slightly jealous look at the laughing foal and what Applejack suspected was a certain amount of suppressed desire to contribute to the tummy rubs. “I’ll write a letter to my mother and see if she can’t bring my old crib for you to borrow. She wanted to loan it to Shining Armor, but the crystal ponies got Cadence about twelve of everything a foal could possibly want, and I certainly won’t need the crib in the near future. Not that I haven’t been looking too,” she added rather rapidly.
“That’s the first part of my problem,” said Applejack. “Probably the easiest, too. What Ah really need is for you to check out Flim and Flam’s stories. Seems they got some sort of investment scheme with some widget deal in Appleloosa and Dodge Junction that went sideways, so I need you to go out to the farm and talk with the two rascals, separately if you can, and figure out what it really is. If’n they’re up to something, and they probably are, Ah don’t want Sprout dragged into it.”
“That doesn’t sound too difficult.” Twilight scooted closer and took a turn rubbing the little filly’s tummy while Applejack took a brief break.
“It’s a lot more difficult than it looks, Twi. You see, this here is Dodge Junction’s town librarian’s foal.” The foal in question slowed her giggling when Twilight abruptly stopped rubbing her round tummy. “Marian gave her up for adoption after one of those durned fools got her pregnant. There’s something funny about their story, but I jus’ can’t put a hoof on it. It’d be an awful embarrassment for an unmarried filly in that public a position to turn up with a…”
Applejack trailed off and Twilight picked up the conversation rather reluctantly. “You mean a bastard? I mean that’s the technical term, not that she’s anything but adorable.”
“Can’t say I really blame Marian for it either,” admitted Applejack. “Didn’t sound as if Flam realized how close his brother was to her, so she might have been playing them against each other at the same time the brothers were trying to underhoof each other. Those durned fools. Love makes a pony stupid, I suppose.”
After scooping the little filly back up and cuddling her, Applejack wrinkled up her nose, a motion that Apple Sprout duplicated with ease and made them both smile. “Anyway, sounds like their competition got out of control about the time they both vanished from town.” It took a deep breath and a long, dry swallow for Applejack to say the next words, which she had been avoiding since first picking Sprout up and looking into those enticing green eyes.
“I’m gonna raise her, Twi. Ah know she’s really Marian and Flim’s foal, but she gave Sprout up for adoption and he’s… well, smart enough to know he ain’t gonna be no good as a father out on the road. She needs a family and Ah got one for her.”
“Oh.” Twilight took a long time to say anything else, but eventually asked, “Are you sure?”
“Yup.” Applejack cuddled the foal, holding her tiny warm body against her chest and looking down into those green eyes where a pair of Applejacks reflected back at her. “Ah can’t think of another Apple I’d rather have do it.” She brushed a few curls of pinkish mane back from the foal’s horn and sighed. “Sprout may not be one of my own family, but she’s kinfolk. Or at least if Flim and Flam ain’t pulling some sort of low-down scummy trick again. Still, she’s an awful cute one.”
“You’re not kidding.” Twilight paused in her examination of the foal and promptly floated over a dry diaper. “She’s wet too. Let me see if I can still work a diaper like when Spike was hatched. I don’t know how earth ponies can manage without magic when they get dirty.”
* ♥ *
“Rarity?” Applejack poked her nose into Carousel Boutique and took a quick look around. “Oh, good. She’s not here. Oh, well. I guess Ah’ll just have to go back to the farm without—”
“There you are!” Rarity came scurrying out of the back room where undoubtedly a number of outfits for small foals were in various stages of construction. She made a beeline for Apple Sprout and tickled the attentive foal under the chin while Sprout giggled and kicked for joy inside the foal carrier. “You’re a cutie pie, aren’t you? Yes you are. Does ’ums need Auntie Rarity to watch you for a few minutes?”
“Maybe for a few minutes,” admitted Applejack. “I was just over at Twilight’s askin’ to borrow her old crib—”
“Her crib?” said Rarity with a gasp. “Why, Applejack. I would have thought you would come here to borrow our family crib first. After all, I do have something in common with the adorable scamp.”
Applejack raised one eyebrow. “You use to teleport out of your crib too?”
“Um…” Rarity busied herself with paying attention to the cute foal. “Actually, I was very well-behaved at this age.”
“How about Sweetie Belle?”
Rarity paused. “Actually, now that I think of it, there’s enough fire damage on that old thing that you’re probably better off getting Twilight’s former crib anyway.”
“Uh-huh.” Applejack considered the problem she was going to raise and decided to go ahead and voice her concerns. It could not hurt. “Actually, Rares, I was wondering if you could do anything with this durned foal carrier. It’s not bad for carryin’ but it’s cussed hard to unload.”
“Why, of course. Whatever are friends for? I’m just glad you stopped by here instead of one of our other friends first. Pinkie Pie would probably put in an ejection seat and Rainbow Dash would undoubtedly help her. Come to Auntie Rarity.”
Blue magic formed around the wriggling foal, and Apple Sprout floated out of her carrier far easier than Applejack had managed. Since she was splitting her attention between the foal and the awkward carrier, Rarity was caught by surprise when one of Sprout’s legs turned out to be slightly longer than expected and managed to catch the sleeve of a fancy dress on a nearby ponyquin. The resulting crash covered both Rarity and Applejack in a beaded collection of sequins and lace while the troublemaker responsible for the mess bolted for freedom.
“Sweetie Belle! Help!” called out Rarity.
“She’s at school with Apple Bloom,” said Applejack, somewhat muffled from where she had landed at the bottom of the pile of finery.
“Oh, bother. I’m so used to things like this happening when she’s around.” Rarity carefully tried to free herself while doing as little damage to the dress as possible. “Nonono! Don’t touch it there or you’ll tear it.”
Once untangled, it took the two adults only a few moments to catch Apple Sprout, who had fortunately been confounded by the doorknob or she would have made it outside to the grassy lawn. “She’s certainly her father’s child,” said Rarity, booping the unicorn foal on her nose and giggling along with her afterwards. “Wanting to get out and explore the world.”
“And with a bunch of ponies trying to catch her and lock her up too.” The levity of the moment had given Applejack a small smile which had amazing persistence, sticking on her face even when the young unicorn slipped out of their hooves and managed to climb up on a chair in pursuit of a nearby window and the fascinating world outside.
Applejack filled Rarity in on what she had asked Twilight to do, because gossip would eventually make its way to the boutique anyway, and sometimes a good grass fire needed a counterfire to help put it out. She was just a touch upset about having the task of crib procurement and investigating the real story behind the Flim-Flam brothers and their predicaments taken up by a princess instead of herself, but after a brief mourning period for gossip unsaid, Rarity settled into her appointed fashion project with glee.
It took less than an hour for her to modify the foal carrier to be both more secure when loaded and easier to unload, but it caught Applejack totally by surprise when Rarity sat back after all of the modifications were done and asked, “So, if you’re planning on raising this adorable Apple, what were you planning for the tree she came from?”
“Beg pardon?” Applejack managed to raise an eyebrow while looking back at where Rarity was preparing to add a number of sparkly apple-shaped decorations to the carrier.
“I mean, Flim, or maybe Flam, I still get those two confused. Are you considering perhaps guiding his path and placing him on the straight and narrow road to matrimony?”
Applejack doubled over and snorted, which Apple Sprout seemed to think was hilarious too. “We’re just housing those two varmints until Aunt Orange can figure out if they’re really relatives. Can’t believe you think I’d try an’ date one of my own kin.”
“Distant relatives, if I’ve heard correctly. But if they’re not relatives of yours, you are planning on sending them back onto the road, correct?” Rarity cocked her head to one side and raised an eyebrow of her own. “With this darling cutie?”
The idea struck Applejack out of the blue, because she had not really considered it before. If Flim and Flam were not kin, and Apple Sprout was just a tool in the scheming stallions’ plans, she really didn’t have any claim on the cute foal. On the other hoof, Apple Sprout had weaseled her way into the Apple family pretty durned fast, and Applejack really did not feel like she wanted to give her up, even after just one somewhat sleepless night being her substitute mother. It would be far too painful to have to give her back, but Sprout was not some stray who wandered into Sweet Apple Acres like Winona. She was a pony, with a mother and a father…
A twinge of pain lanced through Applejack’s heart at the unexpected thought. Even though Flim was a scoundrel and Marian had given up her child rather than raise her, Sprout had parents, and deserved to know them more than to go by the clearing every few days and keep the weeds from encroaching on their tombstones. And as little as Applejack wanted to admit it, Flim seemed to love his daughter as much as Marian, and Flam was just as committed to supporting his brother. On some level, she knew those two weasels were pulling some sort of a scam on her, but there was still a tiny sliver of hope that perhaps they had learned their lessons and were willing to make their living honestly from now on.
Yeah, right.
“It don’t rightly matter, Rarity,” said Applejack without taking the time to think out her words. “They need help, all three of them need our help, an’ if’n we were to toss them back out on the road, kinfolk or not, what kind of ponies would that make my family?”
“Very well said, Applejack.” Rarity fiddled with the two fabric-covered knobs on the foal carrier with her mouth, pulling one to open it up and the other to close it several times until she was satisfied with their function. “I’ll just put an anti-unicorn magic countercharm on this and it will be all ready for use. You know,” she added in a somewhat sly fashion, “since cider season is coming up soon, you’re going to be quite busy. If you want, all of us girls would be more than happy to take turns watching Sprout. I’ll bet even Spikie would. He’s had a lot of experience with unicorns and should be able to hold his own if she gets excited.”
“Ah don’t really need help. It’s my responsibility, since I decided to take this little one in.” Applejack took a moment to nuzzle the unicorn foal in her more-secure carrier, only wincing slightly when an unexpected horn almost caught her in the eye.
“You volunteered to help out three strangers in need,” pointed out Rarity. “It’s the least your friends can do to help you out.”
“Ah ain’t askin’ for no help,” said Applejack with a determined set to her jaw.
“The last time you said that we wound up with a bunny stampede, some muffins that even Pinkie Pie couldn’t stomach, and—”
“Whoa, there!” Applejack waved a hoof. “Ah didn’t say I’d turn you or the rest of the girls down if’n you offered. Ah may have a hard head, but I learned my lesson.”
“Thank you, Applejack.” Concealing a knowing smile, Rarity began to tie a sun bonnet on the foal for their trip back to Sweet Apple Acres. “I took the liberty of talking to the rest of our friends last night and worked out a schedule for the next two weeks. Just pick up a copy from the table by the door when you leave.”