Equestria Girls: Friendship Souls

by thatguyvex


Episode 45: Smile, Smile, Smile

Episode 45: Smile, Smile, Smile

“Stop jumping around you bouncing cheese stick! I’m trying to eat you!” Pinkamena howled, extending her left arm like a long rope of pink laffy-taffy, the end of her hand opening up into a giant maw of salivating teeth. Much as had been the case for the past dozen attempts, the mouth snapped down on empty ground, biting a chunk out of the courtyard but not even grazing Cheese Sandwich. He bounced away, staying just out of reach of Pinkamena’s snapping tentacle maw, a twinkle glinting in his eyes and a laughing smile on his lips.

“I know i’m irresistible, but I think this is the first time I’ve literally had a girl drooling over me.”

At his quip Pinkie Pie snickered, her hammer form twitching with her laughter, and Pinkamena glared at the hammer. “You would think that was funny.”

“It's kinda funny.” Pinkie Pie said, but she could feel Pinkamena’s growing disquiet like a bunch of angry wasps buzzing in her brain. Wait, did she even have a brain while in hammer form? Either way, it was easy to see Pinkamena was not nearly as amused by Cheese Sandwich’s attitude as Pinkie was.

So far all Cheese had done during the “fight”, if that was even really an accurate term for it at that point, was jokingly evade Pinkamena’s strikes, tossing a quip out every time he did so. Pinkie Pie wanted to think maybe he wasn’t being serious about wanting to fight her and Pinkamena, but it was hard to ignore the Zanpaktou that Cheese still carried loosely in his right hand.

Pinkie had a twitchy feeling that jokes aside, Cheese Sandwich was testing them. Oh well, Pinkie Pie was never good at thinking things through. She always went with what her gut told her, and aside from the fact that it was telling her she could really dig a Chimi-Cherry-Changa right about now, it also said she and Pinkamena needed to get on Cheese’s wavelength if they were going to have a shot at winning.

Pinkamena was starting to get that giggly look on her face that made Pinkie want to shiver. It reminded her of how Pinkamena got back in Hueco Mundo, more violent and unstable. Gripping Pinkie Pie’s hammer form with both hands, Pinkamena jumped at Cheese Sandwich, slamming the hammer down at him. He vanished again with a blinking Flash Step, Pinkie’s hammer smacking the ground.

“Run, run, run all you want! I’ll get my teeth into you eventually!”

The hammer struck the courtyard with a pink flash of light, and undulated the whole floor like it was suddenly a trampoline. This unexpected bounce to the ground made Cheese Sandwich slow down for a second as he glanced at the floor in surprise, but not nearly as much surprise as when Pinkamena spun around like a top, and shouted, “Dinner time!”

The end of Pinkie’s hammer suddenly elongated into the shape of a frying pan, which Pinkamena then used to try and scoop up a rather shocked looking Cheese Sandwich.

“Okay, weird.” he said, looking at the frying pan he was now standing in, “If you’re planning to fry me might I suggest adding some seasoning first?”

“No.” Pinkamena replied with dry, malicious glee as the frying pan lit up like it’d already been coated in cooking oil, flames shooting high. Pinkie Pie gave a nervous, gulping noise.

“Mena, not sure I like being used as a live skillet! C’mon, tone it down!”

“No way, I want to snack on some melted cheese!” Pinkamena shouted back, only to feel a finger tap her shoulder.

“You’re going to burn the meal like that. Cheese should be melted at a slow, gradual pace.” commented Cheese Sandwich in an affected instructional tone, “What kind of idiot burns cheese?”

Pinkamena, eyes furious, turned the giant pink frying pan around and swung it like a baseball bat as it shifted back into a hammer. The strike actually managed to tag Cheese Sandwich with a hit that rang out with a loud, clarion ring like he’d been an actual baseball, sending him flying into one of the courtyard’s far walls, where he left a Cheese Sandwich shaped impression in the stone for a second before he managed to peel himself off and land on the ground. He rubbed his head, which had developed a cartoonish knot.

“So that neat hammer can actually hurt. I was curious.” he said, cracking his neck. “I’m getting an idea on how your Fullbring does its thing. But just to be sure let’s get a few more test swings in, eh?”

Pinkamena hefted the hammer and hissed as toothy maws formed across her body, one particular large one starting to open on her chest. “I’m supposed to play with my food, not the other way around.”

“Calm down Mena, if he wants to play this like a game then let’s have fun with it and play.” said Pinkie Pie, her hammer head actually twisting around to ‘look’ at Pinkamena.

Pinkamena eyed the hammer with a fathomless gaze of inscrutable madness, but cracked an unpleasantly wide and gleaming grin. “Oh, I’ll play with him.”

“Uhh, maybe we’re talking about two different kinds of playing.” Pinkie said, but soon found herself being twirled over Pinkamena’s head as her clone stretched her arm out and spun the hammer about so fast it was like a solid disc of pink, whistling through the air.

Pinkamena's eyes fixed back on Cheese Sandwich and then, whether by legitimate centripetal force or by the unique powers of the Pinkie hammer, she began to rise into the air like a living helicopter. Cheese Sandwich’s eyebrows shot up as he watched the crazed girl and her morphed hammer rise into the air and fly above him. Then, cackling madly, Pinkamena used all the force she’d built up in her constant, twirling swing to launch the Pinkie hammer down towards Cheese Sandwich with enough speed to crack the sound barrier.

Pinkie Pie, despite herself, made a rather loud “Eeeeeeeee!” as she rocketed towards the ground, her hammer form bursting into pink flames like a comet breaking through the atmosphere. This time Cheese Sandwich raised his Zanpaktou to block the attack, still looking bemused. The hammer struck head first upon the upraised blade, not so much in a crash of force, but in a strange flickering wave of distortion that flowed across the air alongside circular pulses of pink energy. The blow still hit hard enough to crack the stone beneath Cheese Sandwich's feet and press him downward, but he held firm against her and Pinkie Pie could feel her spirit energy leaping through her hammer form and try to flow into the air around Cheese Sandwich or into his Zanpaktou, but it was like there was a huge wall forged out of Cheese Sandwich’s own spirit energy that was blocking Pinkie Pie’s.

As a result the random, chaotic energies of her Fullbring flowed out all around them randomly, the distorted air producing all sorts of random effects. In the span of just a few seconds random objects popped up from thin air and rained down, ranging from banana peels to anvils to literal lit bundles of dynamite. The dynamite exploded harmlessly off to the side, one catching a pile of randomly manifested cupcakes that managed to splatter both Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie’s hammer form. Not one to ever let free frosting go, Pinkie Pie didn’t think twice about licking it up from both herself and Cheese Sandwich, only realizing after the fact that she’d somehow managed to form a mouth and tongue from the front of her hammer form to accomplish this feat.

Cheese chuckled and pointed at her, “I know you like sweets, but you don’t have to hammer it in.”

Pinkie Pie couldn’t help but guffaw, even as her hammer form fell to the ground, shaking with giggles. “Hehehe! I don’t know, Cheese, that pun was a little blunt.”

“Personally I think I nailed it.” he shot back, and from the distant sidelines of the fight Sugar Belle could be heard groaning.

Still chuckling, Cheese Sandwich glanced around, frowning slightly. “Soooooo, where'd the crazy one go?”

“You’re asking me? I don’t even know how to talk to Mena, let alone keep track of her.” Pinkie Pie said, trying to see if she could get her hammer form to wiggle on its own. She was getting some success in the form of an inchworm style crawl when Pinkamena burst out of the ground at Cheese Sandwich’s feet. She’d turned her hands into toothy drills and opened her original mouth open as wide as a large burlap sack, teeth seeming to grow to the size of steak knives.

Without even looking Cheese Sandwich used his right foot to hook Pinkie Pie’s hammer form and kick it up to his left hand, then lodged it into Pinkamena’s mouth while casually walking away. Pinkamena gagged slightly, but quickly spat Pinkie Pie out into her hands. Pinkie Pie was coated in a light layer of slobber now, but was otherwise unharmed by Pinkamena’s teeth. Pinkamena on the other hand rubbed at her jaw, one or two teeth broken from biting down on the hammer, but the teeth re-grew in seconds.

“Mena, the direct approach isn’t exactly doing too stellar. We need to switch up our routine.”

Pinkamena’s left eye shuddered, her pupils shrinking to pin pricks and getting bloodshot. “And do what!? Crack jokes with him!? Trade puns!? Do an epic rap battle!?”

“Ooooooh, I like that idea, but it’s already been done. Gotta come up with something else.” Pinkie Pie replied in a musing tone.

“Argh!” Pinkamena gnashed her teeth, running a hand over her face in clawing frustration. “This is what I’m talking about! We’re going to lose this fight because you can’t take anything seriously! Which one of us is supposed to be the crazy one? Because I think I’m earning more sanity points here than you, bubblehead!”

“Whoa, getting kind of personal here Mena. Can’t we just say that we’re both equally crazy? You know, share and share alike?” PInkie Pie asked with an aimable air of mediation, to which Pinkamena proceeded to collapse to the ground and start repeatedly ramming her forehead into the courtyard stone. After a second Pinkie Pie added, “...Is that a no?”

Meanwhile Cheese Sandwich, looking on with bemused eyes, held up a finger and said, “Should I point out that the offer of chilling here willingly is still open? I mean, it’d involve a lot less cranial trauma, self-inflicted or otherwise-”

“Shut your cheese hole!” Pinkamena spat, “You don’t have to live with a cotton candy brained, living advertisment for diabetes medication twenty four seven! I try to help her out, I try to be the one to do all the things she’s too soft headed to do herself, but do I get any appreciation or cooperation for it!? No! I get regulated to creepy clone status! Oh, and she just gets to turn into a hammer to avoid all responsibility for her actions. Leaves me to do even more of the work swinging her fat butt around!”

“My butt’s not fat, it’s healthy!” shouted Pinkie Pie, a literal cartoon vein popping up on the hammer. “Just because I have an above average amount of junk in the trunk is not a call for tossing around hurtful names.”

“You see!?” Pinkamena said, wagging an accusatory finger at Pinkie Pie, “This is what I’ve got to deal with! All the time! You have any idea what it's like inside this girl’s mind? Because I do. I live there! You’d want to commit murder too.”

In response Cheese Sandwich scratched his head, “I get the feeling there’s some underlying psychological issues being worked out here. You know if you girls need to just have a sit down and talk session I can come back later.”

“No!” both Pinkamena and Pinkie Pie shouted at the same time, and the hammer and clone girl exchanged looks. Pinkie Pie wiggled so that her hammer handle was pointing towards Pinkamena.

“Look, Mena, I know you want to do things differently than I do. But we’re both on the same page that we’ve got to beat Cheesey and skedaddle to help our friends, right?”

Heaving out a massive sigh Pinkamena scooped up the hammer, muttering, “Yes. I’m not sitting around doing nothing. That’d be so boring I’d rather someone just cut our throats.”

“Ew, morbid. Anyway, my point is that we both want the same thing. All I’m saying is we can’t get what we want by doing things your way.”

Pinkamena snarled, “So what, we got to do things your way instead?”

“No...” Pinkie Pie smiled. How a hammer smiled is a question best left to physics to ponder another day. “We do things our way.”

As Pinkie Pie said this she tried something she’d been thinking about for awhile, but had never been brave enough to risk any other time she’d had Pinkamena out and about. She reached out with her spirit energy to link with Pinkamena. She’d been able to sense Pinkamena’s thoughts since day one, at least on a surface level. She could feel the way PInkamena’s mind twisted around like a collection of pipe straws that a rambunctious toddler had gotten a hold of. Pinkamena was in a lot of ways a big, warped repository of all the negative feelings that Pinkie Pie tried to force out of herself to maintain her constant good cheer.

Now, she tried to take a little of it back. Always before she’d used this connection to force Pinkamena back into her subconscious when Pinkamena got a bit out of control. They’d always had this connection from the start, and for Pinkie Pie it had always been the leash she’d use to get Pinkamena to heel. She didn’t want to do that anymore. She wanted them to share the burden of their collective emotions together, and to think together as well.

”Hey Mena, can you hear me!?”

There was a groaning sound in her mind, and Pinkie heard Pinkamena reply, ”Ugh! Yes, I can hear you. Like a someone trying to scoop out my brain like ice cream. Mmm, I could really go for some of that.”

“What? Brain or ice cream?” Pinkie Pie asked, and Pinkamena probably took a little too long before responding.

”Yes.” She paused a second, then said, ”Am I more crazy than normal or are you trying to get into my head?

Pinkie Pie’s giggles echoed in both their minds as she said, ”More like I’m opening the door between our heads. Or trying to anyway.”

“Is this just going to be another way to make me do what you want?” Pinkamena hissed sourly.

No way! I don’t want to make you do stuff Mena! I want you to just... be a little bit of me, and me be a bit of you. You’re right, I only really want to make people laugh and smile all the time, but sometimes...” She turned her attention towards Cheese Sandwich, who was being very polite in letting the pair just stand there. He seemed largely unbothered by their sudden silence, and continued to just look on with a curious face. Sugar Belle, conversely, looked a lot more tense as she observed the battle from the safe distance of the Eight Division’s gatehouse.

”...Sometimes, you gotta show a little teeth. Sometimes before you can be friends, you gotta first be enemies. Frenemies. So I’m going to try being a little scary like you. I just want you to do the same, and smile a little more. And not the creepy ‘I’m gonna eat your face’ smile, but a real smile. I think the only way we can win is if we’re both doing our thing together. Like peanut butter and chocolate.”

“Which one of us is the chocolate and which is the peanut butter?”

“Uhhhh? I’m the peanut butter and you’re the chocolate?”

“...But I want to be the-”

“Okay! Okay! You’re the peanut butter and I’m the chocolate. Or better yet, we’re both just Reese's Pieces, alright?”

“...I could live with that.”

----------

Cheese Sandwich watched, completely unaware of the conversation taking place inside the strange, straight haired girl who could seemingly spawn mouths out of any part of her body and the girl who could turn into a hammer, although he suspected that some sort of internal dialogue was happening. His powerful spiritual senses had been probing the girls since the start of the fight, trying to get a handle on just how their unusual powers functioned. He’d already gauged that both could warp reality to a degree, and he suspected both did so with opposing elements; one focused upon laughter, the other horror.

Their spirit energy up until that point had felt like someone had pulled apart two pieces of sticky bits of chewing gum, stretching both outward in opposite directions, until both seemed like separate things just connected by the thinnest thread. But now that stretched portion felt like it was snapping backwards, bringing the two halves back together in a intermingled glob of potent but unstable spirit energy.

Pinkamena’s body started to glow with a random and writhing aura of pink energy, and Pinkie Pie’s hammer form started to do the same, little sparks of erratic pink light jumping between her and Pinkamena.

Their reiatsu is getting stronger. Is she about to evolve her Fullbring? No... not quite. This isn’t like how it was with their mothers. The power is there, but it's not focused enough yet.

Cheese Sandwich wasn’t certain whether to feel relieved or not. Pinkie Pie and her unique Fullbring, Pinkamena, were certainly dangerous. He knew he couldn’t allow them to leave this courtyard, for fear they might cause all sorts of harm with their unpredictable actions. Yet he didn’t want to hurt them either. Cheese Sandwich might not have been involved in the horrible events that had led to the creation and ultimate dismantling of the original Xcution, but that was irrelevant. As a Captain of the Gotei 13 he owned the responsibility for the organization’s actions, and the very existence of Hitsuyo-Aku was one of many mistakes he felt needed correcting in Soul Society.

Part of that was ensuring the daughters of those poor women whose lives were turned upside down by Hitsuyo-Aku and its Xcution experiment were treated fairly by Soul Society. A complicated prospect, given those very girls were now invading the Seireitei in an attempt to rescue Celestia and Luna from their upcoming execution. On one hand Cheese Sandwich was glad to see the resolve and dedication these girls had to risk so much to come here. On the other hand it certainly tossed everything into a chaotic blender.

So why hadn’t he just taken Pinkie Pie and her unusual clone out yet? Cheese knew he could have at any time while Pinkamena had been chasing him around. As dangerous as those teeth were and potentially unpredictable as the hammer was, these girls simply weren’t fast enough to keep up with him if he went for a serious strike.

Well, part of it was that he honestly hoped they might still realize the futility of the fight and surrender. The other part was that he was curious about their power and, perhaps as a form of making up for not doing anything to help their mothers in the past, he could help Pinkie Pie become stronger. Not enough to defeat him, of course, but enough that she might be able to help her friends more once a better opportunity to rescue Celestia and Luna was possible.

Or maybe you’re just having fun, eh Cheese? he asked himself, Let’s face it, when’s the last time you got to stretch your legs like this, and with a girl who’s got such a good sense of humor?

Okay, yeah, if he was being honest with himself all of his excuses aside he was actually just having a good time.

Seeing Pinkie Pie and Pinkamena’s spirit energy growing, and the decidedly dangerous gleam entering Pinkamena’s eyes, Cheese Sandwich only felt a increased anticipation. If nothing else, he suspected they was about to put up much more of a fight than she had a moment ago. Not that their spirit energy had gotten that much stronger. Again, he was certain this wasn’t a fully evolved Fullbring yet, but what he did sense was that the harmony of energies between Pinkamena and Pinkie Pie were cooperating more smoothly.

They felt less and less like two separate entities with every passing second.

“C’mon Cheese, give us a smile.” Pinkamena said, and tapped the head of the hammer to the ground. She and the hammer both vanished down a literal hole that just opened up in the ground, dropping only after hanging suspended in mid-air for a second and giving Cheese Sandwich a particularly unnerving wave and grin.

“And now I’m concerned...” he said to himself with a quizzical quirk on his lips as he stretched out his spiritual senses, seeing if he could feel out where Pinkie Pie and Pinkamena had gone. Pinkamena had already demonstrated a remarkable capacity for burrowing underground, but this seemed different. More like some strange dimension warping ability.

He sensed something behind him and flashed around, ready to evade or strike as needed, but blinked to see that it wasn’t Pinkamena leaping up at him, but rather a balloon. Big, sunny yellow, with a rather disturbing smiley face on it, the balloon floated up from a hole in the ground that closed up. Cheese peered at the balloon curiously, then stepped back as literally dozens upon dozens of more balloons started floating up around him from other holes opening up in the ground, until he was surrounded by them.

Then the balloons, in all their myriad of bright colors, started popping left and right. With each pop the balloons exuded a gaseous, pepper red mist. In seconds Cheese Sandwich was surrounded by the sharp, itchy scent of sneezing powder. He actually laughed as it stung his eyes and nose, causing a series of quick, rapid fire sneezes.

“Ooohah-choo! That’s hahaachoo! Kindaaaahchoo!... a neat move.”

“We’re just getting started, Cheesy!” said Pinkie Pie in her bubbly, sing-song voice from above, her and Pinkamena having used the distraction of the exploding balloon powder to pop out of their dimensional hidey-hole, courtesy of the Pinkie hammer’s reality warping, and leaped up into the air above Cheese Sandwich.

“You see, even if I want to eat your delicious looking face,” said Pinkamena, “Right now you’re just looking a little too bland for me. So Pinkie Pie decided to spice you up. Personally I think the pun falls a little... flat!” She swung the hammer, and Pinkie Pie giggled as the hammer seemed to strike thin air, making the space in front of the hammer shimmer and waver like a heat haze until a giant iron anvil the size of a small bus appeared in the air. It even had the Acme logo on it as it fell down at Cheese Sandwich.

He chuckled, unable to keep the smile off his face. “Hey hey! That’s good! I needed to do some powerlifting and work on my pecs!”

He jumped up to meet the falling anvil, and swung his Zanpaktou in a swift, powerful arc. The resulting slash cleaved a sparking path through the anvil, cutting its thick metal form cleanly in half. As the two separated halves crashed to the ground to either side of Cheese Sandwich, he reached Pinkamena and sent a swing at her.

“Let me cut to the chase, however. I really want you two girls to give it a rest and just hang with me here for awhile.”

Pinkamena blocked with the hammer, moving faster than even Cheese imagined she could, with a pink blur of motion that got the head of the Pinkie hammer right in the path of his Zanpaktou. As the blade clashed with the Pinkie hammer, Pinkie herself laughed.

“No can do pops. Mena and me are starting to see eye to eye about what we’re doing, and it definitely isn’t waiting here for other people to take care of our problems for us.”

As if on cue a bunch of floating eyeballs appeared in the air all around Cheese Sandwich, which in and of itself was rather disturbing, but then each eye started to swirl around with a green hypnotic pattern. Pinkie Pie’s voice spoke in a haunting, if somewhat goofy tone, “Gaaaze into our eeeeyeees Cheeeese Sandiwitch! You waaaaant toooo leeeet us goooooo... after giving us a cupcake or two for the road of course.”

Cheese Sandwich shook his head, partially because this was ridiculous, and partially because there was a bit of a hypnotic potency to this latest reality warping surprise. Still, Pinkie Pie’s power was still based on her spirit energy, and Cheese’s outweighed hers by several magnitudes. The hypno-eyes only disoriented him for a brief moment.

"And if I don't?" he said plainly. At that Pinkie Pie's voice gained a rather disturbing edge to it, not unlike Pinkamena's own giggling.

"Then I'll have to take a bite outta some cheese!" she said, and suddenly the hypnotic eyes all instantly transformed, opening up into horrific mouths, like a flying flock of fang filled Pac-Mans that flew at Cheese Sandwich. Genuinely creeped out and startled, Cheese swung his Zanpaktou around rapidly, deflecting and cutting through the various toothy eye monsters. However doing so kept him distracted, and when he was done cutting down the last eye monster, his back was exposed.

Pinkamena took advantage of the fact to quickly wrap her one free arm and legs around him, the limbs stretching with tentacle like elasticity to bind up Cheese Sandwich like a large, pink squid. One finger stroked Cheese’s chin as Pinkamena leered in close, the sharp teeth of her mouth forming a crescent in a grin of no small proportions.

“If parting cupcakes won't do, how about we give you a great big hug instead?” Pinkamena asked while constricting her lips like they were snakes. The pressure was impressive, to say the least. She was surprisingly strong for such a noodle limbed young lady. Then again, she clearly didn’t have a conventional body. To make things worse, mouths started to form all over Pinkamena’s limbs, their sharp teeth digging into Cheese’s uniform, and the skin beneath.

He could feel his bones creaking under the strain, and Pinkamena’s sawing teeth even broke through his skin in a few places despite the reiatsu hardening it, drawing blood. However this lasted only a few seconds. Then his spirit energy flared up, a greater flood of reiatsu pouring out of him, and suddenly the powerful constriction felt like little more than the gentle hug Pinkamena had been joking about. Her many, bizarre mouths were pushed back, the teeth leaving a few nasty bite marks, but nothing more.

“You know girls, I really like you two.” he said in a somber tone that matched the sad smile on his face, “You really are a funny, strange pair. Quite the act.”

With a burst of reiatsu flowing off his body he threw off PInkamena’s limbs and with a swift palm strike knocked her back, then gravity did the rest to pull Pinkamena and Pinkie Pie back to the ground to crash into the stone courtyard with a solid impact. Cheese Sandwich saw Pinkamena leap back to her feet, wiping blood from a cut scalp and licking it off her fingers.

“But if I play around with you gals much longer someone’s bound to notice the fight. That’ll lead to questions I’d rather not have to answer. Might lead to you girls getting tossed in a cell where I can’t help you anymore. So hate to say it, but I have to cut this party short.”

Cheese Sandwich inverted his grip on his Zanpaktou, his demeanor growing dour, his eyes shadowed as he placed his other hand on top of the hilt. The Zanpaktou’s unusually shaped cross guard began to emit a stream of pale, purple energy that wrapped around the entire blade like a miasma. When he spoke next, his voice was edged with earnest sincerity.

“My only advice to you girls is this; please reconsider my offer, because even I don’t always have a lot of luck holding back once I go this far. Knock ‘em dead, Hone Nashi.” (Boneless)

----------

Scorpan paced with heavy footfalls in his office. It was built along the edge of the tallest portion of the headquarters main fortress building, a long chamber open to an equally long balcony overlook that gave the Captain Commander of the Gotei 13 and impressive view of the southern part of the Seireitei. A view that on any other day he might enjoy, but now he looked upon with ominous concern.

The Ryoka invasion, right atop the civil disorder... it was tearing into Seireitei like seeping, bleeding wounds. His spiritual senses, long reaching and sharper than all but perhaps Captain Luna and Captain Daring Do’s, gave him a frustratingly wide if still vague picture of what was happening in his domain.

He’d felt Hurricane and Sweet Cider’s clash with Celestia’s Thirteenth Division, and the subsequent arrival of the Ryoka, their unique Fullbring based spirit energies like torches in Scorpan’s mind. He’d felt Hurricane go all out, unleashing his Bankai, and had been shocked at how the humans from the realm of the living had fared. Scattered, but not truly beaten. The one called Sunset, her power had been like a beacon, protecting and guiding the others. To imagine that they could stand up to one of his Captains using Bankai, if even only briefly, was a shocking revelation of just how powerful that group of young ladies had become.

Even though he could not sense the exact locations of any of the Ryoka after their battle with Hurricane, he could feel the beginnings of new battles across his Seireitei. Captain Sweet Cider and Captain Blueblood both had released their Shikai’s, and Scorpan had even seen the destruction being unleashed upon the eastern road, smoke and dust still trailing into the sky from ruined walls and towers where Sweet Cider had battled one of the Ryoka. It seemed nearly impossible that one of them could have pushed Captain Sweet Cider so far... but Scorpan suspected he knew who had battled her, and what the result was.

He almost smiled to himself, if only in the way an old man who knew a talking to was coming his way could. Sweet Cider might not remain a member of the Gotei 13, but it would be her choice how she responded to her restored memory. Scorpan would accept her choice, no matter what it was.

But the matter of the other Ryoka, those foolish but incredibly daring and brave girls, was still problematic. As long as Central 46 ordered their capture, he had to send his Soul Reapers to do just that. If only there was a way to twist his way out of the those orders. If only the girls would be captured, he could put them somewhere safe until this mess with Celestia and Luna was dealt with.

Celestia... Luna... how Scorpan felt like such a failure, allowing this to happen to them. He was no fool. He knew foul play had to be involved. Somehow Captain Zecora had to have been compromised. But how? There was no proof, even when Scorpan covertly asked Captain Starswirl to observe and scan Zecora with the Twelfth Division’s finest instruments there was nothing revealed that could indicate that Zecora was anything other than herself.

Time was running short, but not so short that things could not be worked out. Celestia and Luna’s execution was not for another twelve days. More than enough time to capture the human girls, pacify the rebellious Divisions, and root out the core of this conspiracy against his people.

His eyes, weathered and wrinkled around the edges and thick with ages old tiredness, narrowed as he halted his pacing and glanced sharply out the balcony of his office towards a distant set of buildings to the south west.

Cheese Sandwich? Someone made him release his Shikai? It must be a truly dangerous foe, for him to think it necessary to use that unwieldy, wild blade of his. Those human girls are extraordinary. If only we’d made peace with their mothers, instead of using them. One of my worst mistakes, allowing that to go on for so long. Another to add to the pile...

As with the other instances when he’d sensed these battles taking place he considered the value of stepping in personally to deal with matters. He didn’t for several reasons. One, he had a strict policy of avoiding taking care of matters his Captains should be able to handle themselves. After all, they all in their own ways had room to grow and it would do them no good to lift their burdens himself. Second, he couldn’t afford to be away from the headquarters in case Central 46 gave any orders that he might... object to. He might not be able to countermand their mandates, but he could slow them down, or twist them as he saw fit, but only if he was present to do so. And thirdly, he knew Celestia and Luna. They were among his most promising students. Which meant he also knew it was only a matter of time before they attempted to escape the Repentance Cells. He’d rather be close by when that happened.

Moments after he sensed Cheese Sandwich releasing his Zanpaktou, a messenger in the dark pants and red robes of a courier appeared beside him on the balcony, having Flash Stepped there from the entryway of the office. The courier knelt, one fist on the floor as he bowed his head recently.

“Captain Commander, I bear a message from the chambers of the Central 46.” the courier said in a clipped, professional tone as he raised a scroll with his free hand. Scorpan took the scroll with a frowning nod.

“Thank you. Dismissed.”

Upon Scorpan’s command the courier vanished just as quickly as he arrived. Scorpan looked at the scroll, which bore the seal of the Central 46 in pressed black wax. Only members of Central 46 knew the Kido spells to enchant the wax to detonate the message in a puff of fire were anyone other than the intended bearer of the message to open it. Cracking the seal Scorpan glanced over the neatly printed words. Within seconds his jaw tightened and his hands crushed the note, his stone faced expression splitting into a quake of genuine anger.

“What is the meaning of this!?” he growled to himself, spinning on his heels as he began a determined march out of of his office.

“They go too far...”

The orders inside the message had been to move up Celestia’s and Luna’s execution to tomorrow morning! It was completely irrational! As irrational as accepting Platinum’s “evidence” in the first place, but now Central 46 had stepped too far beyond the line of reasoning. Whatever was wrong with them was something Scorpan was going to correct himself now! He couldn’t overturn their orders, but he did have one executive power in his purview, and that was to enact his right of contestation. Whenever the Captain Commander of the Gotei 13 was given an order he felt he could not obey, he had the right to contest it with the Central 46 and personally argue the matter for a forty eight hour period.

He’d been holding off because he hoped some other evidence might crop up in the next twelve days, but if Central 46 was pushing things to the very next day he didn’t have time to waste.

Outside his office chambers, in a wide wooden hall draped with banners bearing the First Division’s symbol, a single black slash through a banner of white, he saw his Lieutenant waiting for him. She was a plain and stocky shouldered woman with brown skin and a long head of hair the color of straw, curled around her large bangs. Bright green eyes watched Scorpan carefully as he stomped out of his office.

“Problems, sir?”

“Lieutenant Smart Cookie, I must attend the Central 46. They have... given orders I find questionable.”

Smart Cookie always did have a rather sardonic way of raising her eyebrow. “Now you find their orders questionable, sir?”

He sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling the weight of every one of his many centuries. Smart Cookie was his Lieutenant because she could and would point out his mistakes, without judgment, but also without fail. That, and she brewed the only coffee in this reality or any other that could get him functional in the morning. He offered her a tired smile.

“I have found this whole affair questionable since day one, but I cannot act alone in defying the very conventions that bind Soul Society together. If the Captain Commander of the Gotei 13 were to allow his personal feelings to interfere with the order of law, then what right would I have to expect anyone to follow my own orders?”

“Nice speech and all, but can’t help but notice that you’re still going to go argue with those old fogies anyway.” said Smart Cookie, her eyebrow still arched high.

“Yes, well, I prefer arguing over the alternative of open revolt. That would just make things... complicated.” Scorpan said with a laugh dry as old autumn leaves. Complicated didn't even begin to cover the reprecussions if he went against the Central 46's orders in open rebellion. There were very few things that would get the Zero Division to come down from the Soul Palace, and him leading a revolt against the Central 46 would count among those few things. Even Scorpan didn't want to risk that kind of a mess if it could be avoided.

Smart Cookie didn’t share the laugh, instead asking, “What happened to set you off, old man?”

Scorpan’s grimace was like watching a desert crack open, his leathery face drawn into deep pockets of weariness. “The orders are crumpled up in my office. Damned fool thing to command. They’ve stepped up the execution date to tomorrow morning.”

That got both of Smart Cookie’s eyebrows up, her shock evident. “But... why? That doesn’t make any sense. Are they really worried a few Ryoka are going to defeat the entire Gotei 13 and rescue the Captains?”

“Maybe they do. Or maybe something else is going on. Either way, I intend to find out, and will argue those bastards into the ground on this if I must.” Scorpan said, and gestured a commanding hand at Smart Cookie, “While I’m gone I leave you in charge of operations here. The Captains should capture the Ryoka soon enough. See to it those young ladies are treated as well as they can be, given the circumstances. Also, contact the guards in charge of watching Celestia’s and Luna’s cells and have them increase their numbers. I won’t be shocked if they try to escape soon, and I don’t want them making their case worse by doing so. After that get in touch with Captain Starswirl. I’ve put him in charge of the continued investigation into the accusations against Celestia and Luna. With luck he may find something that will help us.”

Smart Cookie took this all in with a solemn nod, “And if he doesn’t find anything, sir?”

Scorpan’s eyes turned to fine slits, like two pieces of flint. “Then things get complicated.”

----------

The moment Cheese Sandwich spoke the release phrase on his Zanpaktou Pinkie Pie and Pinkamena both felt the incredible upsurge in reiatsu, alongside a rather erratic and strange dissonance in the air that made it feel like they’d just been dipped in an electrical current.

The purple, deathly glow around the Zanpaktou grew brighter, and then stretched out like some dripping piece of goo, morphing and growing longer. Then Cheese Sandwich started to spin it, and the intense purple glow resolved in a flash of violet sparks into a long chain. At one end of that chain, coiled in Cheese Sandwich’s left hand, was a circular orb with small holes in its tops, like an incense censer. On the other end of the chain that was being spun around a large, curved blade took shape along the length of a thick wooden handle. The curved blade tapered to a fine point at one end, and expanded into a large frill towards the back, like a trio of curved back secondary blades.

Pinkie Pie recognized the type of weapon as being similar to one’s she seen in a few kung-fu flicks and anime. A kusarigama. It was like a scythe or kama attached to a big chain. It was supposed to have a iron ball at one end, but in this case it was that strange incense container. The blade here was a lot larger than a normal kama’s, those swayed back secondary blades along the crest of the main blade almost making it look a bit like a rooster’s head to Pinkie Pie.

“Now be careful girls.” Cheese Sandwich said, still slowly spinning around the kusarigama’s blade in a wide arc above his head.“Hone Nashi is a temperamental fella and doesn’t play too well with others.”

Pinkamena licked her lips and laughed, “Neither do I. Less talky and more violence! I still wanna take a bite out of you!”

“Yeah!” said Pinkie Pie, “I mean, well, not the biting part for me, but definitely with the finishing this fight part! Round Three, Cheesy... FIGHT!”

Pinkamena twirled the hammer around, and pink energy cascaded around the hammer for a few seconds, arching up into the air until it swirled around both opponents and then started forming images in the air.

A pair of green health bars, with the names of both combatants appearing in a rather intense font beneath the bars. In between the health bars a timer appeared, starting at ninety nine, and started to count down.

Cheese Sandwich, for all his attempts at appearing serious, guffawed out a happy chuckle. “Dang it, and here I was going to start getting all straight faced, but I guess I just can’t do that with you two can I? What the heck, let’s do it!” With that he pulled the kama end of Hone Nashi to his hand and began to dive down towards them.

Pinkie Pie’s hammer cracked a smile, a literal engraving of a toothy cartoon grin forming on the business end of the hammer. “Mena, hit the music!”

Pinkie Pie’s hammer-grin was mirrored by a sharp toothed, hungry smile from Pinkamena. “My pleasure. Moorrtaaal Kombaaaat!

Through the unusual power of Pinkie Pie’s Fullbring a literal gong popped up from the ground next to Pinkamena, and a single hammer swing banged the gong in a distinctive ring that then instantly started up a piece of music that any child of the nineties would have quickly recognized.

”Test your might!”

As the music kicked off Pinkamena, cackling like a gleeful lunatic, hefted the Pinkie hammer and jumped into the air to meet Cheese Sandwich head on. Inside both Pinkamena and Pinkie Pie there was a buzzing, synchronized energy that matched the mad laughter both shared. For once the two were at complete ease with each other and their purpose; to kick ass and have fun doing it!

Pinkie Pie’s hammer form swung through the air with enough force to create waves of air pressure around her, and she clashed headlong into Cheese Sandwich’s Hone Nashi, the massive kama blade sending pink sparks off the hammer as the two collided. Passing by each other Pinkamena and Cheese Sandwich landed a few paces away, turning to face each other in ready combat stances.

Pinkamena blinked as she noticed a sudden cut appear across her back, not too deep, but spreading a spray of blood through the air.

“Huh? But I didn’t get hit.” The green health bar on her end had gone down a few shaves of red, clearly confirming she had been.

“Did you? I wonder how that happened?” Cheese Sandwich whistled innocently while twirling Hone Nashi’s kama blade, which the then instantly swung in a lightning flash that sent the deadly instrument straight for Pinkamena’s head.

She ducked the strike, losing a few straight strands of dark pink hair, but rushed forward, mouth salivating as she opened it wide for a massive bite at Cheese Sandwich’s torso. Her teeth caught his robes as he stepped back, but then he tried to dodge to the side from her follow up hammer swing and suddenly found he couldn’t move that direction, as if a literal wall blocked his way.

The hammer caught him under the chin, knocking him up into the air with the cracking noise. Pinkamena then stretched her arm out, whipping the tentacle-like appendage in a blindingly quick series of strikes that Cheese Sandwich swiftly evaded, Flash Stepping back to the ground while rubbing his chin. His own health bar had gone down a bit, but he didn’t seem to notice as he pulled back on Hone Nashi’s chain, the huge kama blade spinning back towards him, and subsequently Pinkamena as well.

She spun to block it with the Pinkie hammer, deflecting it upward, but at the same instant she felt another nasty cut spread across her side, and just barely caught site of a distortion in the air, like a ripple in water. She saw the same blade, Hone Nashi’s kama duplicated on the same trajectory as the original, but from a different angle as it flowed out of the distortion in the air.

The distortion and the duplicate blade vanished in an eyeblink, but the original went back to Cheese Sandwich’s hand for him to continue lazily spinning it around.

“Oh, you spotted it? Your reflexes are getting better. No more reason to hide in then. Go ahead, Hone Nashi, show off for the girls a little.”

He threw the blade upward, the chain soaring upward. Pinkamena watched it warily, then Pinkie Pie shouted, “Itchy nose and back twinge! Look out below!”

Not bothering to question how Pinkie Pie could get any of her Pinkie Sense twitches while in hammer form Pinkamena just jumped back, just in time to avoid an identical Hone Nashi that tore up from the ground beneath her, mimicking the one that Cheese had thrown upward. Pinkie Pie suddenly screeched, “Wwwwwoooaaah! Everything’s going bonkers, Mena! Dodge, uh, everywhere!”

“Gee that’s helpfu-shit!” Pinkamena swore as now dozens of Hone Nashi’s started to appear from rippling distortions in the air, coming at her from every direction. Like a mad, graceful swan Pinkamena bent, twisted, and flipped out of the way of the attacks, at times having to bend her limbs in ways that would have been physically impossible for a normal human’s body. Still, much like how Cheese Sandwich couldn’t evade to the side, neither could she, keeping her evasions to an essentially two dimensional plane.

“Figured that had to be what it was.” said Cheese Sandwich, “Not just a simple visual gag, those health bars. I haven’t been to the living realm too often, but even I know what a video game is. We’re stuck to a 2-D battlefield. Heh, that’s a scary power you have, Pinkie Pie. Warping the rules of reality that much... not even many Soul Reapers have power like that.”

“Thanks, we’re thinking of going on tour.” said Pinkie Pie as Pinkamena landed atop one of the duplicate Hone Nashi chains, then used it like a spring to jump off towards Cheese Sandwich. A giant mouth opened up in her chest, opening wide until Pinkamena looked almost like a huge, pink venus flytrap filled with chomping teeth.

In a burst of speed Cheese Sandwich pulled on Hone Nashi’s chain, all the duplicates pulling back into their ripples. He then threw the original blade outward beneath Pinkamena’s diving arc. Her mammoth bite nearly caught him, and her chest mouth took out a huge chunk of the ground. Cheese Sandwich’s throw created a series of duplicates that appeared above Pinkamena, smashing down at her. She shrunk her form back to normal size, spinning the Pinkie hammer above her head in a pink blur to deflect the descending blades.

However the blades struck with such force that she was not only driven down to her knees, but also breaking through her guard. The sharp kama blades cut gouges in her arms, and another across her back, causing more sprays of blood to fill the air and knock her to the ground as yet more portions of her health bar got taken off.

Pinkamena, undaunted, retaliated with a growl, opening up her chest mouth to spit out a barrage of rocks at high speed, like a living gatling gun.

“Whoa, didn’t your mother teach you to chew your food!?” Cheese Sandwich perked up in surprise at the attack, yanking back Hone Nashi’s main blade to start deflecting the high speed chunks of stone flying at him. To Pinkamena’s credit the storm of spat rock managed to get a few strikes in. While most of the chewed up stone pieces got pulverized by Hone Nashi, several either hit Cheese’s shoulders or leg, and one even skipped off his skull, tearing the scalp a bit and causing it to start bleeding. For every little strike another small portion of his health bar ticked away.

The timer continued on silently between the two health bars, getting below the minute mark.

Pinkamena let out a sizable belch once she was done spitting out rock chunks, then charged Cheese Sandwich, hammer swinging. Laughing, he threw Hone Nashi again, only this time the kama became wreathed in a erratic violet light and started to move about on its own, seemingly at random. Pinkamena watched the blade’s movements warily, but kept in on Cheese Sandwich, reaching him and smashing the hammer down towards him. He blocked with the chain of his Zanpaktou, countering with a swift snap kick that Pinkamena flipped over, twisting around with a lashing hand that expanded into a large, snapping maw. Cheese stepped back, then ducked as Hone Nashi flew in from behind.

The blade slashed by Pinkamena, drawing more blood, and nearly hit Cheese Sandwich too. In fact Hone Nashi started to shimmer in and out of ripples in the air, appearing in duplicate from over a dozen sudden directions that would easily catch both Pinkamena and Cheese in its deadly path.

“Yikes! Mena jump!” Pinkie Pie warned, the tremors of her Pinkie Sense washing through her hammer form. “Another one coming in from behind! Duck down. Jump again!”

Pinkamena followed the instructions, not questioning Pinkie Pie’s premonitions. Cheese Sandwich also avoided the majority of Hone Nashi’s glowing path, his raw speed allowing him to Flash Step away from the maze of seeking kama blades despite the limited two dimensional movement he was dealing with.

However he also found, after dodging one blade, that Pinkamena landed, perfectly balanced, atop the extended chain, her teeth like giant white knives as she grinned wider than a great white shark. “Hiya! NOM!”

He blocked with his arm, Pinakmena’s teeth sinking in with a gout of blood and knocking a large chunk from his health bar above. However Hone Nashi flew in like a wild hawk, and the blade’s purple aura of energy seemed to howl as it sliced right through Cheese’s arm to stab deeply into Pinkamena’s gut. The blow knocked Pinkamena backwards, skidding across the ground.

“Mena!” Pinkie shouted, but Pinkamena grunted, getting back to her feet. Her stomach had opened up into a mouth at the last second to catch Hone Nashi between its teeth.

“No worries Pinks.” Pinkamena said with a wide smile, “I got this.”

“Maybe not so much.” Cheese Sandwich said, clutching his wounded arm and smiling sadly. “Like I said, I don’t got much control over Hone Nashi when he gets riled up.”

Suddenly the massive Zanpaktou spun its kama blade around, gouging its three back crest blades through Pinkamena’s chest. It then flashed forward, then back, creating several more duplicates of itself in a blinding series of attacks that crossed over Pinkamena over and over again. For a second time slowed down, leaving Pinkamena standing there swaying... then she dropped Pinkie Pie’s hammer form as dozens of cuts appeared over her body in a wave of blood that splattered through the air like red leaves scattered by the wind.

“Well... crap...” Pinkamena said, coughing up blood. Up above them her health bar had nothing left by a small green silver. It was entirely possible that only the bizarre rules of the “game” Pinkie Pie’s power had created allowed Pinkamena to keep standing at all, the rules dictating that an opponent wasn't’ down until their health was gone, or the time ran out.

Laughing, more of a gurgling sound than anything else, Pinkamena took one unsteady step towards Cheese Sandwich, who had pulled back Hone Nashi and held the kama blade tightly. The blade seemed to shake and thrash in his grip, as if it wanted to tear itself free to keep slicing up its foes, and only Cheese’s white knuckled grip kept it from doing so.

“It’s over girls.” he said, “Call it quits before there’s nothing left of the Fourth Division to heal.”

“Hehehe...” Pinkamena laughed, still stepping towards him in a bleeding, staggered walk, like some blood dripping zombie. On the ground, discarded, Pinkie shouted from her hammer form.

“M-Mena, stop! You’re hurt!”

“It’s, heh... okay Pinkie... I’m doing what you said...” Pinkamena coughed and laughed at the same time, blood popping out of her mouth like a bubble. “I’m gonna smile like you, so you can be scary like me...”

Pinkamena offered Pinkie Pie a smile then, one that wasn’t wide toothed or frightening, but one that reminded Pinkie of the cheerful face she saw in the mirror every morning. Then she turned and in a final burst of speed she dashed in at Cheese Sandwich. Her arms both extended into giant, saw-like claws, sharp teeth snapping. In a colorful blender of slashing pink arms she attacked the Soul Reaper Captain, who responded in kind with blindingly fast, deadly swings of Hone Nashi.

By luck or skill it was hard to tell, but PInkamena held her own for a few seconds, holding onto that last shard of health as she exchanged blows with Cheese Sandwich... and sent one of her legs snaking backwards like a stretched out piece of gum to grip Pinkie Pie’s hammer form around the haft.

”Last shot, Pinkie. Get him good for me!” Pinkamena’s voice said in Pinkie’s mind, and in turn Pinkie sent a feeling Pinkamena’s way; like a great big, warm and loving hug.

”He won’t know what hit him, sis!”

”Heh, sis. I guess I am.”

Finally Hone Nashi’s relentless assault broke through and cut through Pinkamena in a crescent of blood, her form starting to break up back into pink mist, but not before using her leg to whip the Pinkie hammer forward in a spinning arc. The hammer spun right past Pinkamena’s misting form and then slammed straight into the gut of an unsuspecting Cheese Sandwich. The blow hit hard enough to create a small shockwave and knock Cheese right on his butt, skidding along the ground for a dozen yards.

Pinkie Pie hit the ground, her hammer body clanging. Pinkamena finished dissolving into pink mist, which returned to the hammer in a wave. Pinkie Pie could feel Pinkamena in her mind still, but weakened and dormant. It would be awhile before she could summon Pinkamena again, and more than that, without Pinkamena present to be the synchronized focus, she couldn’t maintain her hammer form.

So the hammer shimmered with pink light, and Pinkie Pie took shape in her human form once more, kneeling there, sweat soaked and exhausted. She still retained the perked, pony ears and tail of her ponied-up state, indicating her Fullbring wasn't quite finished manifesting yet, but with Pinkamena out of the fight and her hammer form gone, all that remained were the elements of the video game that still hung about.

“Ugggh... that was a pretty good sucker punch.” Cheese Sandwich said, slowly getting up and rubbing his stomach, licking his lips. “I think I can taste my breakfast. Urp. Chocolate waffles don’t taste nearly as good coming up as going down. Whew...”

Cracking his neck he looked at PInkie Pie, then his eyes widened and his hands yanked on the chain of his Zanpaktou. Pinkie Pie felt a wash of air behind her, and looked over her shoulder to see Hone Nashi’s blade inches from her face, the kama having been flying right for her in a move that would’ve ended in decapitation had Cheese Sandwich not stopped it.

Cheese pulled hard on the chain, growling. “Down! Down boy! Fight’s over! I don’t care what kind of fighting game they simulated, we’re not ‘Finishing Her’ you dumb chicken! Now, to finally use a proper game quote, ‘Get over here!’” With a final yank he pulled his Zanpaktou back and grabbed the kama hard, glaring at it like it was a bad pet. When it looked as if the Zanpaktou was calming down, he sighed and looked back to Pinkie Pie.

“Right, so, now that the fight’s over and done, would you please just sit here at my Division’s headquarters nice and quiet like?”

Pinkie Pie looked up at him, pony ears twitching, and slowly stood, brushing herself off, then pointed up. “Fight’s over? Dude, did you forget what kind of game we’re playing? The fights only over when you take out all your opponent’s health, or the timer runs out.”

Cheese looked up at the timer, which was down to its last three seconds. It took about those three seconds for him to realize a couple of things. One, when Pinkamena had vanished and Pinkie Pie reformed into her human state, the health bar on her side had reset to full... given that Pinkie Pie was physically uninjured and Pinkamena was nowhere to be found. Two, his own health bar was still about a third of the way down from the injuries he’d sustained in the fight. And three, normally in fighting games the one with the least amount of health when time runs out, loses.

“Well sunuvabitc-” he began to say, then the timer hit zero. All of the ‘game graphics’, the two health bar and timer, started to glow intensely pink, and a voice boomed out.

”You Lose!”

Pinkie felt the power of her Fullbring surge through her, through the air around her. The barriers of the game field had been maintained by her power, as had the visual effects and sound effects of the fight. Now all of that energy channeled into a destructive form, becoming a swirling series of pink beams of energy that converged on Cheese Sandwich and proceeded to explode in a massive bomb that let out a blast so strong that not only did it crater about half the courtyard, but it sent Pinkie Pie flying back like a rag doll.

Bruised and battered, Pinkie Pie groaned and staggered to her feet. She was dizzy and feeling more than a little nauseous. Her power was completely drained, but she could still feel Pinkamena snoozing away in her mind, slowly recovering. As for Cheese Sandwich, for the moment all Pinkie saw was a smoking crater. She hoped he wasn’t dead or anything.

Suddenly there was a blade at her throat, and Pinkie Pie gulped, glancing back to see a very irate Sugar Belle behind her, blade poised..

“Don’t move, Ryoka!” Sugar Belle shouted, “You’ll pay for what you just did.”

Before anything else could happen through, Cheese Sandwich’s voice reached them from the crater. “Whoa! Whoa! Don’t go bananas up there Sugar! I’m okay. Hell's bells girl, you’d think you’d know me well enough to realize a blast like that wouldn’t be enough to do me in.”

Pinkie Pie looked on with surprised, wide blue eyes as Cheese Sandwich slowly climbed out of the crater. His Soul Reaper robes were wounded, all but destroyed from the waist up, and he was bearing several painful burn marks that slowly bled. But despite his wounds he otherwise looked alright, shouldering his Zanpaktou and lightly twirling the censer end of the chain as he approached, smiling.

“Pinkie Pie, I got to hand it to you, you’re one hell of a party goer. I haven’t enjoyed a fight like that in forever. Almost makes me understand Hurricane a little better, heh.”

Pinkie Pie, crestfallen, hair seeming to droop as if a balloon popped by a needle, sagged to her knees. Sugar Belle took her sword away from Pinkie’s neck, noticing the girl didn’t seem to have any fight left in her. “What do we do with her, Captain?”

“Well, first thing’s first...” Cheese said, and lightly, almost gently, appeared in front of Pinkie Pie and gave the girl a light chop across the neck, knocking Pinkie Pie out entirely. As she fell unconscious he caught her, holding her carefully like a father with a child who’d just fallen asleep from a long day of playing. He patted her head.

“Now that she’s out, we can get her to the Fourth Division for healing.”

“Won’t Captain Zecora, or any of the other Soul Reapers there, have questions about you bringing a Ryoka in?” Sugar Belle asked.

“Probably, but old man Scorpan’s orders were to treat these girls with all due kindness and respect once they were apprehended. Besides, not sure what my next move is, and the Fourth Division is where I belong right now too. Ouch, this girl packed a wallop!” he said, wincing as he looked at his wounds.

Sugar Belle sighed, “I should’ve helped, sir.”

“Nah. Sugar, don’t take this the wrong way, but you wouldn’t have been a match for her.” Cheese Sandwich said, hefting Pinkie Pie carefully in his arms. “Even Hone Nashi got out of control way faster than normal, like he could sense how dangerous she was.”

“Yeah, you did seem to be having trouble.” Sugar Belle said, then smirked, “I just assumed you were getting slow in your old age, sir.”

Cheese Sandwich sighed, “I get no respect around here, no respect at all.”

“Still, it couldn’t have been that bad.” said Sugar Belle, pointing at the end of Hone Nashi’s chain where the incense censer dangled. “You didn’t even have to use the censer’s ability.”

“Yeah, well, I may be old, but I’m not that old yet. Now quit judging my combat performance and let's get going before something else goes wrong around here.” Cheese Sandwich said, and the Soul Reaper Captain and his Lieutenant quickly Flash Stepped away from their damaged Division headquarters, carrying along the unconscious Pinkie Pie.