//------------------------------// // Scootaloo is Probably an Orphan // Story: The Cute One 2: Growing Pains // by No one is home //------------------------------// “Apple Bloom, Ah got somethin’ real important Ah gotta ask ya, and Ah need ya t’ be honest with me.” Applejack’s gentle smile nearly oozed with sincerity. “Look, sis Ah already told ya, them weren’t mah stallion magazines, Ah was just holdin’ em for a friend!” Applebloom scowled at her older sister. “Ah recon they belonged to that little rapscallion, Scootaloo!” Granny Smith shouted across the dinner table. “That’s what comes a not havin’ a proper upbringin’!” “Granny! It ain’t Scootaloo’s fault!” Applejack scolded her elder. “Ain’t like she got no family to teach her right… or maybe she does but they ain’t done right by her… that’s what I’m tryin’ to figure out! Now look, this is about Scootaloo, but Ah ain’t worried about them...” “Them weren’t Scootaloo’s wiener-mags neither!” Apple Bloom declared angrily. “Of course,” Granny Smith face hoofed profoundly, “Sweetie Belle! Ah should have known after that last ‘Friendship Council’ nonsense y’all done told us about!” “They were mine, okay?!?!” Big Macintosh pounded the table. “Apple Bloom was just looking out for me! But I can’t just stand by while my sister and her friends take the fall for my wrong-doing.” “Big Mac! How could ya expose Apple Bloom to that smut?” Granny Smith glared angrily at her grandson like a bird that was angry. “I know how old fashioned you and Applejack are! I didn’t want you to find out…” The big red stallion hid his face in shame. “Find out what? That y’all was queer as a three bit coin?” Granny Smith cackled. “Ah think that ship done sailed when Apple Bloom met her new big sister at the last Social.” “Ya’ll oughta know by now that we ain’t gonna make no judgements like that.” Applejack’s anger was subdued by quiet hurt. “See, Ah told ya, Big Brother!” Apple Bloom smiled warmly. “It’s just like AJ and Rainbow makin’ out in the barn! Everypony already knows all about it, we just don’t give a darn!” “Y’all shut your dirty mouth, little filly!” Applejack snapped at her sister. “An’ ever’pony’d do best to keep their yap shut about whatever it is that ever’pony supposedly knows!” -=-=-=-=- “Spike was checking out my flank?” Sweetie Belle squealed in delight. “I’m sorry to have to tell you like this, dear, I know how terribly awkward and embarrassing it must be for you.” Rarity smiled at her sister. “This is great!” The filly threw her marsh-mellow hooves in the air in celebration. “It is?” Rarity’s purple locks bounced wildly as she spun to face her sister. “Of course!” Sweetie pranced in excitement. “Equestrian adoption law is pretty vague, but I'm pretty sure that Spike is either Princess Twilight’s son or her little brother, but either way he’s a prince, and that means if I marry him I’ll be a for-real princess!” “Oh, ho ho, yes, you’ll be a for real princess when you grow up and marry Spike.” Rarity chuckled at her sister’s adorable antics. “When I grow up? You mean like last week?” Sweetie snorted cheerfully. “Wait… what?” Rarity blinked rapidly. “I’m a legal adult, remember?” Sweetie smiled victoriously. “That’s why it’s okay when you leave me to watch the shop while you’re away on business while mom and dad are leaving me with you while they’re away on business.” “Applejack was right,” Rarity sighed, “We’re all terrible ponies.” -=-=-=-=- “No, Spike! Just no!” Twilight proclaimed with her full authority. “That is out of the question! Besides, I thought you said you didn’t want the CMC fawning over you?” “I said I didn’t want to make out with Scootaloo to help her win a bet.” Spike corrected the agitated alicorn. “Sweetie Belle wants to marry me to gain political influence. I can respect that.” “I forbid it! As Princess of Friendship, I forbid you from marrying Sweetie Belle!” Arcane energies surged as Twilight stamped her hoof against the crystal tile. “You can’t do that! We’re both legal adults!” Spike matched the princess’s ferocity with his own willpower. “And besides this isn’t a question of friendship, it’s a question of love and/or marriage!” “Don’t think I won’t call in Cadance, buster! Because I will!” The purple princess fumed. “I will call Cadance and my brother down here so fast it will make your scaly head spin!” -=-=-=-=- “You don’t even know if I have parents?” Scootaloo leveled a judgemental glare on her mentor. “Well, it’s not like it ever came up… I mean, it’s not like I can just ask ‘Hey, Scoots, are you an orphan, or what?’” Rainbow Dash retorted in defense against the accusation. “You mean that thing you opened the conversation with?” Scootaloo replied evenly. “Have you ever met my parents?” “Well, no, but you only just met my parents the other day!” Dash argued deftly. “That doesn’t mean you don’t have parents. Maybe they’re just really embarrassing.” “Did anypony ask any questions when you and Applejack took us all camping for the entire weekend?” Scootaloo countered. “Well… that doesn’t prove that you don’t have parents, just that they… I dunno… maybe don’t mind if you spend all your time with a bunch of adult ponies who they’ve never met?” The cyan mare became less sure of herself with each passing second. “And when I got my cutie mark, didn’t it seem strange that nopony related to me was there saying, ‘Hey Scoots, congratulations on finding your purpose in life?’” Scootaloo pointed out what should have been obvious to any casual observer. “Okay… that was... kinda weird… but you’ve got a house… and… well… but then again you did say you didn’t have anypony to offer you support and guidance...” Rainbow flopped her rump to the floor in defeat. “Okay, so you’re probably an orphan, but could you just say the words? I’d feel a lot more confident in this assumption if you would just outright say you don’t have a family…”