I woke up well rested... yeah right. I woke up and promptly made a noise similar to a pterodactyl screech as I stretched. My joints cracked as I straighten up. Dear mercy me I should have padded the floor, my back felt like someone had used it as a wrestling mat. I groaned before gathering up my stuff. I ate an older piece of bread, I fugured I should eat the older stuff before it went bad and then eat the new stuff. It tasted like... stale bread. Probably should have wrapped it up a bit better but that was something I could worry about later.
As I emerged from the hollow tree, I breathed in a deep breath of clean forest air, smiling as the fresh scent--
"*cough cough* oh crap *cough* I think I swallowed a bug!"
I rolled my shoulders to adjust my backpack before setting out, determined to put more distance between myself and the big as a mug city behind me. I grabbed a stick to use as a walking stick and started off, ready to seize the day. Now, you know me, so of course I was already planning ahead.
"I'm really," I shook my stick, "Sticking it to the man!"
I laughed before saying,
"Boy, I think I'm 'barking up the wrong tree!'"
"Wow, my humor is really 'branching out!'"
"What a 'sticky situation!'"
I heard a rustling from the bushes and froze, before holding my stick like a baseball bat.
"Come on out! I'm warning you, I'm a 'branch manager!'"
A squirrel scampered away and I swear it was gagging. I breathed a sigh of relief before smirking.
"I guess he was more 'bark' than bite!"
Yeah... I probably should get tested for a concussion. Maybe I hit my head in the middle of the night. Either way, I decided that was enough puns for now, and who knows, maybe all those horrible puns would deter predators. Either way, I was headed into the forest, ready to take on the world.
"Look out world! Cause Jack's coming and I have no idea what I'm going to do!"
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"I wanna go home, I want a shower, I want to hug a ponies fluffy little face, and I want to not be in this gross creepy forest!"
The forest had changed. It was darker, and creepier, and the trees literally had faces, and it smelled like cat pee and despair. I hummed to myself as I pressed on, trying not to pass out. How did a world of technicolor ponies that talk have a spooky death forest that smells like an old warehouse mixed with the fridge in the glass factory break room after someone forgot their food. My attention was drawn to a giant mosquito that landed on a red flower... that then ATE IT! How do plants act like mouths!? They're plants!
I heard a growl from behind me, and decided sticking around was a bad idea. I decided to beat a quick tactical retreat before anything went wrong.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! EAT THE FLOWER NOT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
I ran... and ran... and vaulted over some branches and slid down a cliff... and, guess what! I. Ran. I ran so far and so fast that by the time I stopped, I had no idea where the heck I was. Given I had no idea where I was, reaching high ground so I could find where to go sounded like a great idea. I found a sturdy tree and started climbing. As I climbed up the slimy, fusty tree, I pondered what weird life choices had led me to this moment. I ran, I slept, I walked, I ran, I ran, I ran... huh, I've been running a lot lately. At least I'm getting some exercise! Yeah... stay positive and maybe I won't use my knife to end my suffering.
I reached the top and looked out over the still creepy forest. There, a little bit away, was a small clearing with a really thick tree in it. Given that was the only clearing around me, that was my new destination! I tried to memorize the direction and started making my way down the tree... before I fell the rest of the way.
"Gah!"
"Oof!"
"Ouch!"
CRASH!
"OoOoOoOoOoOoHh."
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I stealthily... eh, who am I kidding, I fell into the clearing. I picked myself up and dusted myself off. Upon examination, the tree... was a house. Like, a tree house. With a door and windows and everything. There were multicolored bottles hanging from the branches and masks decorated the outside. All in all, pretty cool. Definitely could see myself in one of these. As I stepped forward, a pleasantly accented voice rang out.
"Stop where you are! If you try to run, you won't get far!"
Oh no, it's a pleasantly voiced rapper, my greatest fear. I raised my hands up in a hopefully disarming gesture.
"Calm down man it's cool! I'm cool!"
I turned and... stripey horse? What the heck. She had gold hoops on her neck and leg and had a blowgun held in the corner of her mouth.
"Don't even try to lie, I know your kind is cruel and sly. You come to cause my destruction, but instead you shall face abduction."
Wait, like aliens? Was this the pony equivalent of an alien? Coooooool. Wait, is this thing going to try to probe me? Please let it not hurt! Okay, think. Maybe I can make friends with it and it will be like "ay lmao you fine bro, Imma just go get some tacos!" or something... do they have tacos here?
"Seriously! I'm just trying to find a nice, safe place to live away from ponies who probably want to put me in a zoo."
She paused and looked me over skeptically.
"While your answer was not uncouth, how am I to know it's the truth? Your kind brought violence and woe, how am I to believe you don't have trouble in tow?"
Okay, she had a good point. How could she trust me? Wait, that is what she said, right?
"Listen miss... striped pony. I'm just--"
"I am not a pony with stripes! I am a zeba whom you have given the gripes!" (Gripes: the state of being ticked off.)
"Sorry! Sorry. *ahem* well miss zebra, I know that ponies will be terrified of me, so I'm going into hiding. Given I'm the last human in this crazy world, I figured it was for the best."
She paused before saying,
"The princesses told me to keep watch for enemies... but I only see a traveller in need of amenities. I will give you the benefit of the doubt, but spin your tale, so I can see if it has clout." (Clout: importance or relevance.)
I sighed in relief, glad to be on the zebra's good side. As we entered her house, I was surprised at how comfortable it was. There were a few mats on the floor for sitting on, a wooden table, a large cauldron over a firepit, and shelves and shelves of bottles filled with concoctions of varying colors. She sat on a mat and gestured for me to do the same. If I was going to tell her my story, I needed to skip the parts about me breaking out of prison.
"Begin the your tale of ordeals, then I can see about making some meals."
"Thank you for hearing me out, it means alot to me...."
"Zecora is my name, and hearing you side is no strain. And before you beg my contrition, know I too was once in your position."
My confusion must have been obvious, because she paused to think before saying again.
"I once was feared by the ponies, they would scatter in my presence like frightened conies. Bit one filly upon me a chanced, and now by them I am entranced."
I think I understood it. They were afraid because she looked different. One gave her a chance. Now they're friends. Okay, glad I bumped into her, not a bunch of ponies who would run screaming.
"Well it all started when I got here. I got lost, wandered a bit. Met some ponies. They screamed and ran. I ran. Now I'm here! Pretty much it."
"So you seek solitude in the forest? Or is there more to you checklist?"
"It's more that I want to live a relatively normal life. I don't want to be constantly running and hiding because I'm human. If I could live among them in peace, I would."
"So what your trying to show me, is that you'd be happier if you lived as a pony?"
"Happier!? This place is awesome! From what I've seen you can do whatever you want, be whatever you want! I didn't even know something like this existed! If I could have chosen to be born a pony, I would have done it in a heartbeat."
"You would not morn the loss of your old country, or what about your current body?"
"Nope, and nope. But, no sense dwelling on the impossible. I'm a human, and that's that. But if you can help me find a place to live, I'd be very grateful. It's been a long journey and I'm kind of tired."
She looked down and bit her lip. She opened her mouth and paused before nodding to herself and looking at me with determination in her eyes.
"If becoming a pony is what you think best, I can grant your request."
Wait... is she saying she can....
"Y-you can make me into a pony?!? How!?"
"Potions are my domain, there are many powerful concoctions in this frame. If being a pony is your desire, then I shall mix you a potion over my fire."
I rushed forward and hugged her.
"Zecora, I'll do anything you want. Just make me a pony! I want my life back!"
She slipped out of my arms and started pulling various ingredients off of shelves. A bottle of green goo, a blue flower, some mushrooms, a bunch of black powder, and a piece of orange fruit.
"There, we shall let that simmer overnight. Then the potion will be just right."
"Alright! You're the best Zecora!"
"Now that we are done with assigning the blame, I believe you owe me a name."
"Jack, my name is Jack."
"Well Jack, a pleasure it is to meet. Your mannerisms definitely are sweet."
"Thanks! Your pretty nice yourself. Well, I guess I'll meet you here in the morning. I wouldn't want to intrude."
"Not at all, I would love for you to stay! It would sadden me greatly if my company went away."
"Alright, if it's no bother."
"And safer too. There are many dangers in this forest, even for you. Although the beasts here seek to bite and cut, you will be safe in my hut."
And now I was definitely not going outside. Especially at night!
"Hehe, thanks. Glad to know I was in mortal danger the entire time I've been here."
We got to talking as she made dinner, and despite her unusual way of speaking, Zecora was very pleasant. All to soon, the sun set and it was time to sleep. Zecora got into her bed and I flopped down on a mat. As the nightly forest sounds started up, I heard howling and growls in the distance. I sat there for a bit before saying,
"Hey Zecora, can I sleep with you?"
"Why do you inquire? Are you not warm by the fire?"
"It's not that, it's more that the floor isn't as comfortable and you cute and huggable, and now I'm paranoid about this place, and--"
"D...Do you really think I'm cute? Or are you just acting like a fruit?"
"What? Of course! You're so cute and lovable I wanna just hug you all up! Also, I am a little cold now thar you mention it."
"Most ponies my appearance don't vaunt, but you can join me if you want." (Vaunt: praise or flatter.)
I got up and walked over, glad to be off the floor. I hopped onto the bed and lay with my back pressed to her soft furry back. It was a huge improvement over the floor and I grew drowsy very quickly. Now that I wasn't on a mat by the door, the forest sounds were... kinda nice. Peaceful. I yawned before adjusting my position. Tomorrow the potion would be ready. Tomorrow I would become a pony. Tomorrow was going to be huge.