//------------------------------// // Chapter Eight: New Ways to Die // Story: Vinyl and Octavia Jump the Shark // by DoctorSpectrum //------------------------------//  “Yes,” continued Serpent Superior, “it is I, Serpent Superior, second of the Vinyl and Octavia Revenge – ” “Second?” interrupted Vinyl. “Dude, we’ve fought, like, everyone except for you and Baron von Darkhoof. You’re sure as hay not the second member of your group.” She put a hoof to her mouth in thought. “Wait – unless there are more members we don’t know about. Are the demolishing crew that destroyed Octavia’s old house in that room behind you?” Vinyl craned her neck, trying to look into the room in spite of the doors still being closed. “That’s second as in, ‘second-in-command’,” sneered Serpent Superior in his nasally voice. “Not that it will matter to you two – in but a few moments, you will both be dead by my hoof!” Octavia couldn’t help but snicker. “You, kill us? Your optimism is impressive, sir, but we all know that your crossbow only shoots –” Serpent Superior twisted his hoof, the mechanism required to fire his crossbow, and then almost immediately afterwards, there was a loud noise from somewhere behind Octavia and a force that threw her and Vinyl forwards to the ground. Octavia shakily picked herself up and looked at where it had come from. There were scorch marks on the ground. Serpent Superior must have fired some sort of explosive from his crossbow – not too strong, or else he would be at risk of injury himself at such short range, but strong enough to stagger Vinyl and Octavia. Octavia briefly winced. She hadn’t sustained too much damage during her interrogation with Stumblefeather, but the fight with the Bartender and the shark tank had left her in far from top condition. Too many more explosives like that, particularly any which actually landed on her, would reopen her wounds. Of course, it wasn’t as though Octavia would likely get a say in the matter – Serpent Superior had already loaded another bolt into his crossbow and was aiming it at Octavia. She flinched, ready for the new wave of pain that would wash through her body – - only for Serpent Superior’s shot to go wild as Vinyl telekinetically forced his hoof upwards, firing the bolt directly into the ceiling. “C’mon!” Vinyl shouted to Octavia, grabbing the stunned mare and guiding her down the corridor a few metres and around a corner. She was just in time – as the two rounded the corner, Octavia heard the sound of a third crossbow bolt exploding. “How the hay did Serpent Superior get so powerful?” gasped Octavia, leaning against the wall as she said so. “I know!” said Vinyl. “He was always so… so…” “Weak?” suggested Octavia. She ducked her head around the corner, only to immediately pull it back to avoid another crossbow bolt. She gestured for Vinyl to keep heading down the corridor. “Yeah!” agreed Vinyl. “I mean, it’s not like we ever actually saw him in combat, aside from that time I kicked his flank during combat training, when he was surely holding back, but I’m sure he must have been terrible at fighting before this!” She turned down another corridor, with Octavia following. From the looks of things, the area they were would have been a large open area were it not for the concrete pillars breaking the area into a grid system every few metres. “Well, regardless, it looks as though we have escaped him for the moment,” said Octavia. Every now and then the two mares heard another shot as Serpent Superior fired blindly, probably hoping to get lucky and catch them in the blast. “As tempting as it is to sneak past him and head back to the door he was guarding, I feel that with doors that size we may not be able to get them open before he would return.” Vinyl nodded. “Yeah. My magic’s a bit better, but I wouldn’t want to put it up to any big tasks right now,” she said. “So I guess that means we’ve got to take him down before we can get to that room and find out what it is Darkhoof’s got in there.” Vinyl frowned. “I bet after all of this build up, it’s something really disappointing.” “Undoubtedly,” said Octavia. She shifted around to the other side of the column she was pressed up against – the last shot from Serpent Superior had been a bit closer than she would have liked. “I’ve got an idea for how we can take out Serpent Superior.” “Me too!” said Vinyl excitedly. “I gallop up towards him, somehow dodging all of those bolts of his, then take him out with one punch!” If it weren’t for the echoing sound of the explosions, the room would have gone very quiet for a few long moments. “…Or, alternatively, you could distract Serpent Superior, and then when he’s going after you, I’ll take him out from behind,” Octavia suggested. “Hey, that’s even better!” said Vinyl. “You ready?” “I – what, you want to do it now?” Octavia asked. “Any reason not to?” Vinyl asked. Octavia thought about it. “I suppose not,” she conceded. “Alright!” said Vinyl. She let out a loud whistle and stepped away from the concrete column she had been leaning against. “Hey! Hey, boss!” she called out, taking a few steps into the open, or at least as open a space as there was in the grid of supports. “You ready to come out and play?” “Vinyl Scratch!” came Serpent Superior’s voice. From the sound of it, it was somewhere in the opposite direction to the room he had been guarding. Octavia frowned – she hadn’t expected him to move through the room that quickly. “I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t think you were this stupid!” “Aw, c’mon, sir!” Vinyl replied, slowly walking forwards. She was checking each row of the room’s grid carefully as she moved into it, but there was no obvious sign of where Serpent Superior might be. “You should know me by now – unexpectedly intelligent when the situation calls for it, stupid and hilarious the other ninety percent of – crap!” She leapt back, just in time to avoid the crossbow bolt that Serpent Superior had fired from behind cover. “What’s the matter?” Serpent Superior jeered. “Not as clever as you thought you were?” “Still clever enough to take you down, boss,” muttered Vinyl. Serpent Superior may have nearly hit her, but he had revealed his position in the process. Even if he moved from it, Vinyl had a good sense of where he was now. She gestured for Octavia to follow her, and then started to move in. “So, what’s your story?” Vinyl asked. “From the sounds of it, Neon Lights and the Bartender –” “Who?” muttered Serpent Superior. “- were both in on this for revenge, while Stumblefeather was just trying to use you all to do his dirty work,” Vinyl said. “What do you get out of this?” “The dissolution of hierarchy!” shouted Serpent Superior against his better judgement. “Baron von Darkhoof has agreed that once we have successfully blackmailed all of the major cities of Equestria , we will then proceed with our threats anyway, causing chaos in Equestria. Social structures will be broken down as thousands of ponies die, allowing a better system to rise in its place!” He fired off two shots at where Vinyl’s voice had come from to compensate for talking for so long, though of course Vinyl had already moved by then. “Really starting to feel locked out of the loop regarding this big plan,” Vinyl muttered to herself. “And Darkhoof is cool with this?” she called out. “He intends to use his newfound wealth from the blackmailing to take control of a few cities; the ones which will be the most vulnerable,” Serpent Superior replied. “I can’t say I approve, but we’ve agreed to respect each other’s goals once this is all over.” Vinyl said nothing. She was fairly sure that she was on the opposite side of the pillar Serpent Superior was against at the moment, and saying anything would give away the element of surprise she had. Still, the implications of what Serpent Superior was saying were astounding. What was Baron von Darkhoof’s secret weapon, that it could supposedly make good on a threat to kill ponies all across Equestria, and at the same time from the sound of things? Had Darkhoof made a deal with some dragons? Was it some sort of counterpart magic to the Elements of Harmony? Yet another of the innumerable ancient threats that seemed to have been awakening in the last few years? Whatever. Vinyl would find out soon enough. She moved closer to the edge of the support, ready to leap out and take care of Serpent Superior. Her silence would have betrayed that she was close to him, and he was surely expecting something – Vinyl couldn’t even hear him breathing. He wouldn’t know what side Vinyl would attack him from though, and that would be what gave Vinyl the advantage. Vinyl tensed herself, counted to two in her head, then leapt around the corner. “I’ve got bad news for you, boss,” she said. “The game’s – ah, crap! He’s not there.” “I’d applaud your effort, but then again, if it really was worthy of praise, you wouldn’t have screwed up so badly,” sneered Serpent Superior from behind Vinyl. She heard a click – no doubt that was him loading in another of his explosive bolts. “Any final words?” “Uhh…I love anarchy and therefore you shouldn’t kill me?” Vinyl suggested. CRACK! “Crack!?” Vinyl questioned. “That’s a weird thing to say in response to somepony’s last words.” “You know, if I had one piece of advice to give to aspiring bad guys,” said Octavia, “it would be that you should just shut up and take somepony out if they’ve been opposing you. It may sound cool to give a dramatic speech before you kill them, but when it is inevitably foiled, it retroactively looks anticlimactic.” “Octavia!” said Vinyl cheerfully. She spun around and stepped on the unconscious body of Serpent Superior as she hugged and then kissed her wife. “You know that I loved you to infinity and back already, but saving my life like that makes me love you to infinity another time!” Octavia smiled. “Not that I don’t appreciate the sentiment, but infinity is…well, infinite. You can’t go any higher than it once you’ve reached it.” “Exactly! I can’t love you any more than I already do!” said Vinyl, grinning. “But I manage to anyway!” She gestured to the unconscious body of Serpent Superior. “What should we do with this guy?” “I would say that we can tie him up for now, but, well…I don’t suppose you have any ropes with you?” Octavia asked. “Nope!” Vinyl replied cheerfully. “But if you want, we can methodically and gradually tear out my mane and tail, weave the hairs together – ” “That’s a no; got it,” confirmed Octavia. She nudged Serpent Superior with a hoof awkwardly. “I…suppose we’ll just have to leave him here then?” she said. “Of course! No way in hay that I’m carrying him around!” growled Vinyl. A sober expression came over her face. “I mean…” She sucked in a breath before continuing. “There’s always the option of, um, killing –” “No,” said Octavia immediately. “There may be dangerous ponies about, but unless we have no other option, we’re not going to intentionally kill anypony.” “Phew,” said Vinyl, letting out the breath as she did so, “I was hoping you’d say that. Leave him here unconscious it is then! Without his crossbow, of course,” she added, levitating it from Serpent Superior’s body and attaching it to her own arm. She raised her hoof and looked down the scope of the crossbow, aiming it at Octavia. “Hay Octavia – how do I look?” “Hot,” said Octavia. “And now?” asked Vinyl, holding the hoof beside her head and trying to look serious. “Hot,” repeated Octavia. “You always know what to say to make me happy,” said Vinyl, grinning. She lowered the hoof. “What say we go stop this loser Baron von Darkhoof?” “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” said Octavia. =============================== “Well, that was much easier than I expected,” said Octavia. “Yeah!” agreed Vinyl. “What was?” “Opening these doors,” said Octavia, gesturing to the two large, metallic doors which had been closed when the two mares were confronted by Serpent Superior. “But enough procrastinating; let’s head inside.” Inside, it was fairly dim. Although there were fireflies lighting the room, it was quite a large room, and so they couldn’t cover everything. At first glance, it seemed to be just like the rest of this level of the Omega Zone – concrete walls and floors, with some metallic structures here and there -  albeit bigger. There were also some stairs leading to a catwalk. “Hmm,” said Octavia, her voice echoing slightly throughout the room. “This seems…dull. Where do you suppose Baron von Darkhoof’s ultimate weapon is? Whatever it is, I was expecting something bigger.” “Uh, Octavia?” said Vinyl, who had wandered off in a different direction. “You might want to come and look at this.” “What is it?” Octavia asked, heading over to Vinyl, who was pointing at something. At a set of somethings, as it turned out. Each of the objects was squat, roughly rectangular-shaped, and made out of metal. They were set a few metres from each other, with Octavia counting eight of them in total. The reason for this was soon apparent; as Octavia got closer to them, she realised that whatever the objects were, each of them was in the centre of some sort of circle on the ground, filled with glyphs and other arcane symbols she didn’t understand. Octavia was staring at the items for several moments, wondering what they reminded her of when it hit her, and she remembered. She had once seen an item very similar to the eight before her when she was working for COBRA and unknowingly helping them to perform an attack on Canterlot. They were bombs. “A bomb!” Vinyl suddenly shouted, causing Octavia to jump in the air in fright. “What was that for?” Octavia asked, trying to calm her breathing. “Sorry, I, uh, realised what they were and panicked a bit,” said Vinyl. “Eight bombs…” said Octavia, staring at them. “So this must be what Darkhoof has planned. If they’re anything like the one COBRA was using, they’ll amplify the magical potential of ponies, essentially overloading their bodies and killing them…The original bomb was designed to just take out Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, but I suppose that these have been modified to kill most ponies caught within the blast range.” She turned to Vinyl. “But if that’s the case, then how does Darkhoof plan to deliver the bombs? Even if he used an airship or something similar, after one city was hit, the others would be prepared, and able to stop him.” Vinyl pointed a hoof to the circles the bombs were each sitting in. “See those circles?” she asked. “My magical runes are a bit rusty, but if I’m right, these are teleportation circles. Each circle would be pointed at a different city, and once they’re activated, the bomb will be taken right to the centre of each.” “I –” Octavia’s voice died, thinking this over. It all made sense. Darkhoof could blackmail the various cities of Equestria – and who was to say that he hadn’t already? – and then teleport the bombs directly into the city. Nopony would suspect what was coming, and even if one city was fortunate enough to be able to disarm one of the bombs, or have magical defences to prevent items teleporting in, it was unlikely that that would apply to all of them. “I- Vinyl, I – I think that we –” Octavia cleared her throat. “I think that we may not be able to stop this.” “Ah, just the expression I was hoping to hear!” A voice echoed out from the catwalk, causing both Vinyl and Octavia to look up at it. Just as they had expected, it was coming from the mastermind of the whole thing – Baron von Darkhoof. “It has taken me three encounters with you, but finally, now, in the fourth, I have defeated you two once and for all!” “Were you just standing up there waiting for a dramatic moment to reveal yourself?” Vinyl asked. “Three encounters?” Octavia added. “You are even more stupid than the last time we saw you,” she commented. “This is our third encounter with you now.” Baron von Darkhoof grinned smugly. “It’s you who is the fool, Octavia, if you’ve never even worked it out. Did it never occur to you?” “Did what never occur to us?” Vinyl prodded. “The money disappearing from COBRA all of a sudden, when Destroyer’s funds had previously been plenty to keep the organisation afloat,” said Darkhoof.  He leisurely pulled a feather from one of his green wings as he continued. “So strange, that the source of the funding should have his funds run dry, leading to the rest of the organisation attempting a robbery, and being destroyed in the process.” “Wait a minute,” Octavia asked, frowning. “You’re not seriously suggesting that you were -?” “Tomax and Xamot, embezzling money?” Vinyl said. “But how? They were two ponies!” Baron von Darkhoof frowned. “Try again.” Vinyl gasped. “Octavia! I just realised something!” “Yes?” Octavia asked expectantly. “While we were at COBRA, there was one member of the higher ups whose face we never saw… a pony who would be in position to steal money from Destroyer’s company without raising any suspicions…and who we know for a fact got away from COBRA after the failed heist!” “Good grief, you’ve got it!” Octavia gasped. “That was very clever of you, Baron von Darkhoof! Or should I say… Serpent Superior?!” The room went silent. “Uh, Octavia? I meant Darkhoof must have been Destroyer himself,” Vinyl said quietly to her wife. Octavia blushed, and her ears drooped slightly. “Oh. Right,” she said sheepishly. “So…wait, Baron von Darkhoof – that whole time that we were in COBRA, you were right there, under our muzzles as Destroyer?” “And more than that,” said Baron von Darkhoof. “Do you remember when you two had to go to court, and faced a demonic prosecutor?” “Wait a minute…you’re not seriously suggesting that you were also…?” “Yes!” shouted Baron von Darkhoof with glee. “I was one of the civilians watching the process in the courtroom! I was in the third row from the back, and you never suspected a thing!” “Oh,” said Vinyl, deflating slightly. “I, um, don’t think anyone really cares about that one.” “Hang on a moment, let’s rewind,” said Octavia. “You say that you were Destroyer – if that was the case, then why didn’t you take the opportunity to kill us? For that matter, why did you put on that disguise in the first place?” Baron von Darkhoof laughed. It was a deep laugh, echoing throughout the room loudly. “Why – why would I want to do that?” he asked between laughs. “After my attempt at forcibly shipping you two failed, I did the smart thing – I saw that revenge was a game for idiots, and so I focused on my own plans. And look where it got me – I managed to steal money from a terrorist organisation without getting found out, set them up to get caught and profited from that, and then used all of that money to set all of this up! The only mistake I made was getting greedy and trying to kill you two after that casino business – and even then, all that happened was that I got some injuries. “But why didn’t I simply stick with COBRA, and reap the rewards from there, I see you asking?” Baron von Darkhoof continued. “Hmm?” Octavia asked, forcing her gaze from Vinyl’s lips and to Baron von Darkhoof, still dramatically soliloquising from the catwalk. “Oh, um, yes! That thing! Absolutely!” “You see, I’ve learned the benefit of foresight,” continued Baron von Darkhoof, barely registering Octavia’s response. “Anypony could see that COBRA were going to get caught by CHIELD sooner or later – and even if they weren’t, anarchy is not what I desire. What I desire is the power which is mine by birthright, and so I joined them solely to leech off their resources. What would be an endgoal for another pony is a mere stepping stone in the master plan of Baron von Darkhoof! And look where it’s gotten me!” “An overacting leader who uses everypony below him?” Vinyl asked. “Hey!” snapped Baron von Darkhoof. “I love all of my subordinates greatly and equally!” =============================== EARLIER THAT DAY “I don’t care for Neon Lights,” said Baron von Darkhoof to himself, apropos of nothing. =============================== “The correct answer to my question was that it has lead me to this undefeatable plan,” said Baron von Darkhoof, lightly stepping off from the catwalk and gliding down to the floor as he spoke. “What do I care if you two attack me right now? You can’t stop the bombs from exploding – I doubt you have the skills to disarm all eight of them – and if you stop them from being sent to each city the runes are enchanted to send them to, you’ll just get caught in the explosion yourselves, since these bombs are each powerful enough to destroy this entire island! Truly, I am the greatest of all your foes! Blah blah blah, I’m super great, blah blah blah…” Octavia had stopped focusing on Baron von Darkhoof, and was trying to think of a way out of the situation. Although she would never admit it to Baron von Darkhoof, he was right – the previous time Vinyl and Octavia had disarmed a bomb, it had been through a stroke of luck, so it certainly wasn’t something she wanted to try again. What choices were there? If she and Vinyl could somehow contact Spyglass, he could have possibly sent in some more experienced CHIELD agents to take care of the bombs, but Darkhoof would just send the bombs through beforehoof. And besides, she and Vinyl would have to find some way to avoid all of the guards in the Omega Zone whilst waiting, so it was hardly foolproof. Alternatively, could she and Vinyl force Baron von Darkhoof to disarm the bombs himself? It might be worth a shot, but he was just as likely to have not built in a disarming mechanism to them. He certainly wouldn’t have seen the need for one. Octavia didn’t want Darkhoof’s plan to succeed, naturally, so if there was a way to disable the teleportation circles, that would be enough. The problem, of course, was what Darkhoof had said – each bomb was powerful enough to destroy the island on its own, preventing Vinyl and Octavia from escaping the blast. Disabling the teleportation circles would almost be a perfect solution, if it weren’t for – Octavia’s train of thought suddenly stopped. A new thought had occurred to her, and it was a dangerous one at that. “Vinyl,” she said quietly. “Yeah?” asked the unicorn. Darkhoof was still ranting on in the background, not having noticed that his audience was no longer a captive one. “I’ve got an idea,” began Octavia, “of how we can stop Darkhoof.” She took a breath, preparing herself. “Fire one of the bolts from Serpent Superior’s crossbow to one of the bombs.” “You reckon that’ll disarm it?” Vinyl asked, scratching her head in confusion. “No,” said Octavia. “The opposite, in fact. It should cause it to detonate, causing a chain reaction with the rest of the bombs. The entire island and the bombs will all be destroyed, preventing Baron von Darkhoof from completing his plan.” “Cool,” said Vinyl. She paused. “You, uh, know that my magic isn’t strong enough to cast the time travel spell and get us out of this, right?” “Yes,” said Octavia. “Oh. Right,” said Vinyl. She fidgeted for a moment before adding, “Um –” “I’m not going to ask you to do anything you don’t want to do,” said Octavia. She glanced at Baron von Darkhoof confirming that he was still ranting and raving, rather than paying attention to the two mares. “And I am open to alternative suggestions. But if you have none, let me ask you this: is it worth letting many innocent, unsuspecting ponies die to save our own skins?” “Hmm,” said Vinyl, thinking it over. “No. No, not really, not when you put it like that.” She grinned unexpectedly. “Though I’ve gotta say, I kinda did think we’d make it through all this.” “Let me guess,” said Octavia, unable to hide a smile of her own, “because we’re both badasses who take no prisoners, or something along those lines?” “Nope!” said Vinyl. “Because we met those cool future versions of ourselves! What’s up with that?” Octavia shrugged. “Who knows with time travel? Perhaps they were from some point in which our timeline split, and they were never sent to the Omega Zone. Or perhaps they refused to come here, and the Omega Zone incident was stopped by CHIELD agents.” “Heh. I guess,” said Vinyl. She levitated Serpent Superior’s crossbow from her leg and gave it a twirl in mid-air. “You ready?” she asked. “Not really, no,” Octavia said. “But being with you makes me feel as though I am.” “Oh, you!” said Vinyl. “You know exactly what to say to get my heart all a-flutter.” She turned to Baron von Darkhoof, who hadn’t noticed any of the discussion. “Hay, Darkhoof!” Vinyl shouted. “Got some bad news for you, buddy – we’ve worked out a way to stop your stupid plan!” She pointed the crossbow at the nearest bomb. “Got any last words?” That got Baron von Darkhoof’s attention, and snapped him out of his self-absorbed soliloquy. It took him a moment to realise what Vinyl was doing. “Ha!” he scoffed. “Please – trying to get me to surrender with a bluff like that won’t work,” he said. “I know you two well enough to know that you won’t really fire it.” Vinyl’s grin widened. “Look at this idiot, Octavia,” she said, “he doesn’t know us at all.” She telekinetically squeezed the trigger of the crossbow, simultaneously grabbing Octavia and pulling her closer. “Come here, you –” There was a bright white flash. THE END