//------------------------------// // Knittin' Kitten // Story: Gilda Versus Knitting // by PotatoJoe //------------------------------// Waking at dawn was a lot easier when you had an owl hoot “goodnight” to you at the same time. “ Sleep well, widdle guy.” said Gilda, scratching she sleepy-eyed owls chin. She tossed her blanket aside and stood, shaking her wings and groaning as the morning took to her. She’d spent the night in the attic in the end - she would have slept on one of the couches had Twilight ever gone to sleep, but it seemed like the unicorn was one of those “night owls” amongst nerds. She looked to the type of night owl she preferred, then grabbed her blanket and tucked him in. He hoo’d softly in thanks. In a unspeakably good mood for someone who’d survived a bombing the previous day, she made her way downstairs into the library. She found Twilight asleep in a pile of books, snoring softly. She didn’t bother to tiptoe past, but the unicorn stayed fast asleep. Gilda hit the bathroom - it took a moment to get used to pony-style plumbing again, but she managed - and then headed for the kitchen. The kitchen was a well used, pretty little affair that filled Gilda with little hope of a morning beer. There was a pile of gems on a cookie sheet, cupboards full of canned alfalfa and vegetables, and in the fridge she found only health-food snacks. It seemed like her benefactor was one of those annoying beings that decided eating well was a high priority in their lives. But then, she stumbled upon something in a high cabinet. “ Hello, boxwine.” said Gilda with a growl, setting the offensive cardboard cube on the table. “ You don’t like me. I don’t like you. But, we both have needs, don’t we? So, feel like putting our past behind us and just getting this over with?” The box sat there, not arguing with her. That was a good sign. “ Well, here’s to us.” she said, breaking the box open and pulling out the spigot. She took out a goblet and filled it, then tucked back the entire thing in one go. Just as she remembered, the plastic, filthy taste of grapes plucked before they had the chance to be something memorable. Smacking her lips as she filled the goblet again, she wondered how come so many ponies had such plebeian tastes in booze. About the time Twilight woke up she’d finished it, quickly hiding the box in the garbage. “ Oh, good morning, Gilda.” said Twilight, trotting in and yawning. “ I’m sorry there isn’t much for you to eat here - all we have is Owlowlcious’s birdseed and I don’t think thats appropriate to feed you, is it?” “ Eh, I’ve had worse.” said Gilda, the tipsy mood making her morning all the better. If there had been any pain to feel, she wouldn’t have noticed a bit. “ Hey, say, uh, I was just gonna sit around and work on knitting today. You wouldn’t happen to have any spare yarn? Something purple?” “ Oh, sure!” said Twilight, turning her head away. “ Ah, sorry, morning breath.” said Gilda, turning and waving. “ It’s kinda bad for griffons.” “ No problem. Um, so I’ll be heading out for most of the day - my friend Applejack needs some help at her farm - “ “ Uh, hey, while your there, pick up some of their families hooch, will ya?” Gilda asked, walking from the room. “ I’ll pay you back, or something.” ================= Curled up in front of a fire, Gilda felt like a kitten again. The library was not the most cool place, but the living room was warm and the carpet soft. Gilda was currently engaged in a scarf, having obtained purple yarn from Twilight and a pattern showing how to make one. It was going well so far, with almost an claw-length finished. She’d not needed to correct too many mistakes and coupled with the warmth of the den and her still-sloshed brain, she decided to let herself go. Eyes rolling back in her head a little, she began to purr. For a griffon, purring was somewhere between laughing and getting a body massage. The gentle vibrations shook her muscles loose as she kept knitting, her claws steadied by the floor. She flicked her tail playfully, switching it’s side as it got too warm from the firelight. The feeling approached absolute contentment for nearly an hour, over which time she finished five more claw-length’s of scarf. But, all good things come to an end and this one was shattered by Spike entered the room, grumpy and shivering as always. “ Sup.” said Gilda, quickly stopping her purring. “ Geh, it’s cold in here!” moaned Spike, walking past her to the fire. He threw several more logs on and sat, shivering, on the mantle next to the flame. After a moment he threw off his sweater, which was starting to catch cinders, and backed until his flesh was practically touching the fire. “ Aaaaaaaahahhahhhhhooaoooo, this is so much better.” “ Thought you went with Twilight.” muttered Gilda as the little lizard luxuriated. “ In this weather? That’s suicide.” said Spike unhappily. “ In this weather?” “ It’s snowing, ya dolt.” said Spike with a little fanged scowl. “ Didn’t you notice?” Glancing to the window for the first time that day, Gilda noticed it was indeed snowing, with several inches already on the windowsill. “ Huh.” said Gilda with a shrug. “ Fancy that.” “ Anyways, I’ve got another proposition.” said Spike, looking to her. “ Twilight won’t be back until late - “ “ No.” said Gilda, shutting him down hard. “ The shit I went though for you last time? We’re still dealing with it. No way I’m cooking anything for you, even if it’s a slice of bacon!” “ Dang.” sighed Spike. “ I really wanted waffles.” Gilda sat up. “ Wait, I didn’t see a waffle iron when I was in your kitchen.” she said, thinking back. “ I’m starving - you have a waffle iron?” “ You didn’t look under the sink, did you.” said Spike, rolling his eyes. “ Yeah, Twilight puts the good stuff under there. Anypony who broke in wouldn’t look there. It’s where she keeps her alcohol, too.” Gilda sprung up so quickly that her ball of yarn rolled away. She pounced it quickly to stop it’s escape and then turned to Spike. “ I’ll make waffles if you pretend you don’t know what happened to her booze.” said Gilda, sticking out a paw. Spike spit in his palm and shook it. ========= Looking at the cinderized remains of the kitchen table, Gilda couldn’t help but think something had gone terribly wrong. Giving it one last spray of the fire extinguisher, she set the device aside and sat back on the one unbroken stool, taking another swig of mead. The waffle iron smoldered, molten metal still glowing red. Spike lay nearby, face-down in the bowl of waffle-batter and one paw wrapped around a bottle of Everfree Everclear, bubbles of smoke rising from the gooey batter. Gilda laughed so hard she fell back off of her perch. The waffles had went well until she started sampling Twilights surprisingly well-stocked hidden bar. She was still buzzing from breakfast and hadn’t resisted it as well as she would usually - and a short while in, Spike’s curiosity had been peaked. One thing led to another and they decided to try to use dragons fire to get the iron hotter so it’d cook faster. Lesson learned - that was a bad idea. Laughing as she stumbled though Twilights house, Gilda returned to the nice warm den and lay back down with a grunt, her knitting calling to her. She lost about ten minutes batting the yarn about and giggling. She was soon hard at work again. She was drunk, so progress was slow, but with a heroic amount of focus she managed to keep things moving forwards. She’d done three more paws worth of knitting when she heard the front door open. “ Whoo! Wow, it’s really coming down out there!” Gilda glanced to the clock on the mantle. It was almost lunchtime - that meant Twilight had gotten back early. She heard a small cry from the kitchen and the sound of a bowl falling. “ Wow, do I smell waffles? You guys, how’d you know I was coming back early? Did Fluttershy come by and tell you on her way home?” “ UH YEAH!” bellowed Spike, obviously struggling with his words. Gilda heard the kitchen door slam and heard his claws clacking down the hall. “ Hey, Twi, join Gilda in the room. The room. You know, that room?” “ Uh, the den?” asked Twilight trotting in. As she entered Gilda gave a friendly little wave, struggling not to laugh as the snow-covered unicorn looked around innocently. “ Hi, Gilda. Oh, wow, that scarfs really coming along! That’s already half done!” “ Aaaaayuuup.” she replied before letting out a belch. “ Spike showed me where you keep your booze.” “ W-what?” said Twilight with alarm, noticing the mead bottle next to Gilda. “ Okay, Twilight, things happened.” said the little dragon, entering with a plate of steaming waffles, the only batch they’d managed to make properly. There was a dollop of cream on top and they were soaked in gleaming syrup that shone in the firelight. It smelled and looked unfairly delicious. This obviously did not excuse the fact that Spike was covered in batter as a look of horror crossed Twilights face. “ So, um, yeah, enjoy these. These.” said Spike, handing the waffles to her. “ I’m gonna go throw up and then clean the kitchen.” “ Um, Spike?” she said gingerly as the dragon teetered and ran from the room, a paw to his mouth as his cheeks bulged. “ G-gilda, did he - “ “ Naw, he didn’t try anything.” said Gilda before taking a swig of mead. “ But I did dare him to drink a bottle of maple syrup and that got him pretty sick.” “ Oh, thank goodness.” said Twilight with a sigh, sitting back on the pillow she’d chosen and slicing a bite of waffle. “ Ooh, these are good. I’m going to guess the kitchen’s pretty bad.” “ Remember your table?” “ REMEMBER MY TABLE?” shrieked the unicorn, sending Gilda into a fresh wave of laughter. “ WHAT DID SPIKE DO?” “ Well, the iron wasn’t very hot - “ “ SPIKE, I AM GOING TO NAIL YOUR TAIL TO THE FLOOR!” shouted Twilight, galloping from the room. From the bathroom the sounds of him retching followed. As she set back to her knitting, Gilda took a moment to savor the forming memories. ================= Gilda was feeling pretty sleepy as she finished another row of the loops on the scarf. It was coming along nicely - it wouldn’t be much longer until she was done with it. But, the early winter night was threatening the sky outside and she’d been lying by a fire all day - it was time for a nap. From the kitchen she could hear Twilight and Spike working to repair the damage. They had hours to go if Gilda was right, and she knew she was - it wouldn’t be long until Twilight found out what happened to her blender when Spike tried to make an scotch-and-sapphire smoothy. She rolled over onto her belly and spread her wings across the thick, soft carpet and let herself start to drift off. It was a few seconds later when she heard a tapping on the window. Opening her eyes, she saw the familiar face of the mailmare - Ditzy, that was her name, why could she never remember that? - hovering outside. Joints popping the got up and opened the window, letting the shivering pony inside. “ Uh, whats up.” said Gilda, shielding her eyes. They were becoming a little sensitive to the light. “ I-I just wanted to see how you were doing.” said Ditzy, brushing the snow from her mane and setting down her satchel. “ W-we didn’t talk much yesterday - “ “ Sorry, sorry, here.” Gilda was too tired to consider her actions as she pulled the shivering pony close, feeling the warmth from her body immediately leech into the smaller mare. “ I’m sorry, I was...yeah, um yeah....I’m sleepy.” “ Do you w-want to lay down?” said Ditzy, her cheeks in full blush. Blinking sleepily, a wide smile took to Gilda’s face. “ Pull down the windowshade and shut the door.” she said, letting go of Ditzy and going back to her spot by the fire. Ditzy obliged as Gilda lay down. “ Uh, and prop the door shut so it can’t be opened - use, use that chair.” “ O-okay!” said Ditzy eagerly. Gilda smiled a wide, dopey smile as she re-fanned her wings. “ W-what should I do next?” “ I don’t have the energy I did last time, so I was going to let you take the lead this time.” said Gilda, feeling flushed as Ditzy stood by her, her wings popping up. “ I haven’t preened in a little while, so - !” She didn’t even finished before Ditzy had pounced her and was muzzle-deep in Gilda’s large wings. Eyes rolling back in her head and toes curling, Gilda decided to consider herself lucky - she might have gone with an earth pony in the past, but this Ditzy was one cougar that Gilda was happy to be the prey for. ================= When Gilda awoke she found herself curled up with Ditzy, the smaller mare still blushing as she snoozed. The pair were covering each other with their wings like blankets, the dying embers of the fire radiating little heat compared to their bodies. Gilda was surprised to see a small plate of cookies next to them, considering the door to the room was still closed. Unicorn magic, she thought to herself - Twilight must have cast a spell to simply walk through. Gilda hoped for Ditzy’s sake that they’d been finished at that point. Gilda blinked, her last thought echoing in her head. For Ditzy’s sake? That was strange. She must have been getting a soft spot for the mailmare. She didn’t know if she liked this or not - her head was too muddled to decide. Gilda’s eyes drifted from the mares face back to the almost-completed scarf. Gilda gingerly picked it and the yarn up and set back to work, trying to keep her claws from clacking. She made few sounds as she finished the last few rows, working with a strange ease. Despite the fact she should have had a hangover, she felt fine and airy. The last few threads came together, she snipped the yarn, and let the ball drop away. She held up the finished purple scarf and stared at it in the semi-darkness. It was something to see. There were a few rough patches, but it was a good scarf - the pride from when she’d finished the wristband was back, this time mingling with the soft thrill of feeling Ditzy’s breaths. For the first time Gilda realized she’d never even opened the package that Ditzy had brought. She’d left it on the couch, forgotten. She didn’t even remember who’d sent it - she hadn’t been focused when she signed for it. She almost felt like finding out and thanking them - but those weren't the thoughts for a night like this. She took the scarf and gently wrapped it around Ditzy’s neck. The mare stirred for a moment, waking up, but a quick scratch to her cheek send her back to sleep. Gilda joined her. =================== “ Huh, what the heck is this?” said one of the Diamond Dogs, tossing a boulder aside. There was a squished cardboard box under it. “ Man, we should steal this microwave.” said another. He and half the crew were assembled around the glowing box, making yet another round of popcorn. “ I’ve never seen a microwave this good - it’s like something a professional cook would use!” “ ....to Gilda the griffon....from Rain....Dash?” said the dog, inspecting the boxes slightly burnt label. Slitting it open with a claw he found a singed envelope and sports cap with a tornado emblem. He opened the letter and began to real. “ Wazzaap, Gilda....send you this hat because I know you support the blah blah blahs, tickets for us to go see the blah blahs at the finals, blah blah, patch things up?” He rolled his eyes, looking away from the paper. “Feh, mare crud.” He placed the hat on his head, shredded the letter, and turned back to his job of pretending to fix the cave while searching for gemstones. ======================= When Gilda woke the next morning, she found Ditzy had slipped away. There was a note, but she was too sleepy to read it yet. She stretched and sat up, smiling as she thought of the previous day. Everything had gone right for once. Everything had gone right.