//------------------------------//
// TOPSY TURVY DAY: 3 
// Story: A Year Of Holidays 
// by alarajrogers 
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Twilight was a complete nerve case by the time the day finally arrived. She hadn't been able to glean much more about Discord's plans from watching him and Pinkie running (or in Discord's case teleporting) all over Ponyville to make preparations, particularly because more than half the time, Discord hadn't even been in Ponyville, making his usual impromptu visits to other cities to make sure their Topsy-Turvy Day festivities would be sufficiently chaotic. Mayor Mare wasn't helping; this was an election year, the last election Mayor Mare would be able to run in before hitting her term limit, and she was on Twilight constantly with questions about how this was going to go... questions Twilight couldn't answer, because Discord and Pinkie refused to give her any information. 

But now it was Topsy-Turvy Day. Go time. 

Rarity was wearing a dress with a cream-colored, puffy top, navy blue lace at her collar and forelegs, gold and silver embroidery in a wide band around the collar and foreleg gathers just below the navy lace, and a large poofy skirt with vertical rainbow stripes. There was more gold and silver embroidery at the bottom of the dress. "As you can see," she was saying to Discord in her haughtiest voice, "there are ten separate colors here."

"Black and white don't count as colors." 

"I thought you might say something like that," Rarity said, "which is why I did not employ either color. This is cream, and this lace is navy. Fluttershy, you have the greatest fashion expertise within our group, aside from myself; wouldn't you agree that there are ten colors here?"

"Um, actually, it looks like you have a slight gradation of color going on so the skirt is a little faded at the top and then gets brighter toward the bottom? So that's actually a lot more than just ten colors."

Discord shrugged, paws up. "Well, if Fluttershy says there are more than ten colors, who am I to gainsay her?" His eyes narrowed. "Wait a minute, are you using Fluttershy against me, Miss Fashionista? That's dirty pool."

"I am only requesting that the only other pony in our gathering who has fashion experience confirm that what I'm telling you is true, given your obvious lack of a fashion sense or any concept of what colors go together," Rarity sniffed. "It's hardly my fault if that pony just happens to be your special somepony."

"Show us the banners already!" Rainbow Dash complained. "I've got, like, places to go."

"Like where?" Applejack asked. "The clouds are all clear."

"Back to bed, if you gotta be nosy about it. If Princess Celestia isn't up, I sure as hay don't wanna be."

"Technically, the sun is rising right now," Twilight said, "so I'm quite certain Princess Celestia is awake."

"Whatever. I don't even know what you needed me here this early for." Rainbow yawned. "Far as I know everything's all set up."

"Actually, I need you for a very important task," Discord said. "You need to be a test pilot."

That perked her up slightly. "Test pilot for what?"

"Temporary wings!" He snapped a talon. Rainbow's wings disappeared, and reappeared in Discord's paw. As Rainbow opened her mouth to shout at him, another pair of wings appeared on her back, these ones pink with polka dots. "There's going to be a vendor renting these to ponies who aren't pegasi – and some who are, no doubt. They're pre-programmed with flight skills. I want you to test them to make sure the flight skills are adequate and also that they don't interfere with the flight skills of a trained pegasus."

"Why in the hay would a trained pegasus wanna rent wings?"

"Um, because there are a lot of older pegasi with wing injuries who can't fly so well anymore? Like your grandmother? Who I already wrote a letter to and said she should come to Ponyville to see you because there would be a booth with rental wings?"

Rainbow gaped at Fluttershy. "You invited my grandma and didn't tell me?!"

Fluttershy smiled sweetly. "You always tell me I should get into the spirit of the holiday and play more pranks..."

"Oh, okay, so that was a joke and you didn't invite my grandma."

"No, Rainbow, this is a prank. I did invite your grandmother. After all, you invited my brother to Nightmare Night and then joined Princess Luna's entourage in Las Pegasus, last year." Twilight remembered that. Fluttershy hated Nightmare Night – she'd tried it, with Discord's help, a few years back, and turned out to be terrifyingly successful at scaring ponies, but she didn't like doing so, so she continued her tradition of staying in on Nightmare Night. Discord generally duplicated himself so that one of him could stay with her and one of him could enjoy the Nightmare Night festivities. With Zephyr Breeze dumped at his sister's home, moping because Rainbow had ditched him (Rainbow had insisted on referring to it as pranking him), Fluttershy had had to chase Discord out and get him to rejoin his other self instead of staying with her because he seemed to love tormenting Zephyr almost as much as he loved tormenting Trixie. Fluttershy had been angry with Rainbow for putting her in a position where she had to spend one of her lover's few parole nights dealing with her brother instead. 

"Ponyfeathers! Now I have to clean! Argh! And she's gonna be renting wings? That means she can totally get up to the house and complain about the dishes in the sink!" Rainbow glared at Fluttershy. "Ok, maybe I had it coming, but you could've warned me!"

"Then how would it be a Topsy Turvy Day prank?" Fluttershy said, eyes wide with mock innocence that looked way too much like the real thing. "Besides, you've been saying for months that you need to find time to go visit your grandmother, so now you don't have to make that trip!" As a pegasus who could barely fly anymore with her arthritis, Rainbow's grandmother lived in Las Pegasus, the other pegasus cloud city in Equestria – built in the mountainous desert to the west, stationary around a mountain where ponies who couldn't or didn't fly lived, with extensive facilities for non-flyer tourism and travel within the city, because one could hardly have a city whose income came from tourism and gambling if it wasn't accessible to all the pony tribes. 

"I blame you," Rainbow said, turning her glare to Discord. "You've corrupted her."

"Moi?"

"Everypony it's been great but I gotta go! Housecleaning to do! See you this afternoon or something!" Rainbow Dash took off like a shot, vanishing upward into the sky. 

"You don't think that was kinda mean, Flutters?" Applejack asked skeptically.

"She really has been meaning to go visit her grandmother," Fluttershy said.

"And if Fluttershy hadn't promised me she'd do something to get back at Rainbow for the debacle of last Nightmare Night, I'd have done something," Discord said. "So you see, in fact our Fluttershy continues to be a paragon of kindness! I can guarantee Rainbow wouldn't have liked my idea nearly as much as she'll enjoy a visit from Granny."

"In any case," Rarity said, "I would like to demonstrate my banners. That Rainbow Dash conveniently forgot about volunteering to emplace before flying off."

Fluttershy whistled a cheerful tune, and was immediately covered with two dozen birds, chirping and trilling. "I thought that might happen, so I asked my bird friends if they could help out."

Discord recoiled slightly. "I hope they're potty trained, Fluttershy. Believe you me, it's highly unpleasant to be covered in bird poop, and I can't imagine being flesh instead of stone could possibly improve the experience."

Fluttershy laughed. "They're trained well enough to get off my back or hair before they poop, but I'm afraid birds in general aren't very good at holding it."

All of the birds were suddenly wearing tiny diapers. This startled them considerably. Most of them flitted off of Fluttershy, chirping frantically. Fluttershy gave Discord a Look. "Discord..."

"What? I have issues with bird poop, all right?"

She sighed. "Don't mind him, little friends," she said to the birds. "Some of your less well-mannered cousins did some bad things to him when he was a statue. Besides, that will help you to help us with Rarity's banners."

"I was about to say," Rarity said, without clarifying what, exactly, she was about to say. The way her voice pitched down at the end, it was plainly intended to be the end of the sentence. "Thank you, Discord, that was actually quite considerate of you." 

Pinkie arrived, with breakfast for everyone on a cart. "Coffee is here! And pastries! And tea! And bananas magically warped into the shape of donuts with cacao beans for sprinkles!"

"That's for me, I take it," Discord said. 

"Yuppers!" Pinkie tossed a donut-shaped banana so that it landed on Discord's goat horn, perfectly ringing the appendage. "Want some more? I think I can get all the pointy parts of your antler!"

"That's quite all right." Discord removed the donut-shaped banana and began eating it, without removing the peel. "Mmm. Crunchy."

"That's the cacao beans!"

"Pinkie, have you been gettin' into the coffee already?" Applejack asked. 

"Only two cups so far! And I've already been up for three hours! Bakers don't need sleep!"

"I'd do something about this, but it's hilarious," Discord said.

"In any case." Rarity's magic lifted the first banner. "I think you'll appreciate these, Discord."

The banner began as white, with bright blue letters proclaiming WELCOME TO TOPSY-TURVY DAY PONYVILLE! The letters expanded, swelling as if full of water, and then popped, filling the banner with blue, occasional bubbles making the blue appear to be water. Before long, fish swam onto the banner, carrying orange letters spelling out the banner's message. The fish abandoned the letters once they were in the correct position, and swam around for a minute or two, before they all decided to swim offstage. One of them accidentally pulled the edge, just as in the animation Rarity had demonstrated two days ago, and pulled the entire blue waterscape with it, turning the banner back to a blank white. Discord then appeared, grinning, and gestured with his arms and palms out. The blank white was replaced by a warped checkerboard of purple and vermilion. The fish from before stampeded past in the opposite direction, with legs, carrying the original blue letters. The Discord in the image leaned into the imaginary camera, gave a thumbs-up, and leaned back. By now, Ponyville had dealt with enough species who had paws with thumbs that most ponies knew what the gesture meant.

Rarity folded up the banner as soon as the image of Discord had returned to its original position. Discord applauded. "Well done, Rarity! Quite a virtuoso performance of animation there!"

"Well, darling, I only did the one banner, and then had Twilight copy my spell to do the others. There is something to be said for having a friend who's a magical powerhouse." She smiled at Twilight.

Twilight, who knew what Rarity hadn't shown Discord, smiled back. "I know the animation spell, but I don't have anywhere near Rarity's artistic talent. We actually did all of that animation by Rarity making cloth sprites for all of the images, and moving them and recording them to make the animation, and then I just replicated it."

"Seems as if it could have gone faster if you'd just drawn the images," Discord said.

Rarity huffed. "While my talent for sketching is not inconsiderable, I think we're all aware that cloth is my medium par excellence, and I would never wish to shortchange my audience by using a medium in which my talent is lesser. This may have been more work, but I believe the results speak for themselves."

"It's pretty nifty-looking, Rarity, I gotta say," Applejack said. "You ever think about makin' any of those short little movies they have before the main movie, in the theaters?"

"I hadn't, before you mentioned it," Rarity said. "And I have no idea what would be involved in putting voices into the animation, or anything like that."

"Oh, um, I know a little bit about it. Just because I like animation, so I read a lot about it," Fluttershy said.

"Hel-lo! Isn't anypony going to eat these pastries?" Pinkie asked. "They aren't going to eat themselves!"

Promptly, one of the cheese pastries grew a mouth, folded over on itself, and began to gnaw away at its other half. "They aren't going to eat themselves unless Discord decides to make a dumb joke!" Pinkie clarified.

"I am offended! My joke was not dumb in the slightest. I am the very pinnacle of sophistication and wit."

"Says the draconequus who admits to once having provoked a war with fart jokes," Twilight said.

"It wasn't exactly a war. It was more of a skirmish or two," Discord said. "Most folks who used to decide to go to war with me would generally figure out rather quickly what a bad idea that was."

"The point isn't how warlike it was, the point is, fart jokes."

"Rule a nation with comedy for a few hundred years and see how long you can keep the material fresh."

"Anyways," Applejack said. "I gotta go be settin' up our stall." She snagged a cherry pastry. "I'm sellin' cherries today. No idea how that's gonna work out."

"But isn't that the point? You're supposed to have no idea how that's going to work out!" Discord said. "If you knew how well that would work out, then how would this be a celebration of chaos?"

"I'm gonna leave the philosophizing about chaos to you and go get set up to sell some cherries. Fluttershy, you make sure he behaves himself."

"Today's his special day," Fluttershy said. "I'm sure he'll be fine."




An hour later, Twilight was not, quite, at the point of pulling out her mane.

Farmers arguing with each other about the pricing for the goods they were supposed to be selling on each other's behalf. Pegasi to be recruited to test the temporary wings because Rainbow had run off to her house to clean it for her grandmother's visit. Mayor Mare constantly asking questions Twilight had no answers to. Foals underfoot everywhere, and why were they even up so early? Nothing short of the Summer Sun Festival had ever been able to get Twilight to get up early on a day that wasn't a school day.

But things seemed to be calming down. Celestia had raised the sun, and then Discord had taken it over and made it do loop-de-loops, brought the moon up, had it dance around the sun, and then put it away. Last time he'd had an eclipse, and he'd made it last for some time by moving the moon and the sun in sync, and this had caused an international panic. Celestia was well aware that her duties to the sun affected the entire world; Discord either didn't notice or didn't care that ponies (and other creatures) who didn't live in Equestria and didn't even know Topsy-Turvy Day was happening might be completely freaked out by shenanigans with the sun and moon. At least he hadn't done that this time, though Twilight was fairly sure that he'd say the reason why not was that he didn't like to repeat himself, not that he was showing some responsibility.

She took a deep breath. The festivities had officially started, and nothing had blown up. Yet.

The main street district of Ponyville had essentially turned into a carnival. Store owners who were normally inside their shops all day were sitting outside in booths selling things they normally wouldn't; the owner of Quills and Sofas, for instance, was sitting at a booth selling lamps. Most of them were fancy, stained-glass or spun-glass lamps with brass or bronze stems, but there were some ordinary lamps in ceramic or wood, unusual bendy metal lamps for desks, and a handful of bizarre ones – she even caught sight of a few Discord lamps in the mix there. Those were rare and very expensive, since the pony who'd originally been selling them had returned them all to Discord to be converted to figurines of the Bearers wielding the Rainbow Power, during the first few days after Tirek's defeat before Discord had been put on trial and sentenced. Much of the perverse popularity Discord had had once, that he'd lost when he'd betrayed Equestria, had returned to him, particularly on Topsy-Turvy Day, and so the few lamps that ponies had purchased that they hadn't returned to Stellar Eclipse for a refund or a conversion into a Bearer figurine were now worth quite a lot, since Discord refused to make any more of the lamps. So he was probably going to do well today, but Twilight still felt a little guilty at how little she'd patronized his store in recent years. Twilight didn't buy nearly so many quills ever since she'd become an alicorn, since her own feathers could make do, and she felt rather bad about that, so she went out of her way to buy a couple of fancy lamps from his stand and pay for them to be delivered to the castle. There were only so many sofas you could fit in a castle, but lamps were another story. Not Discord lamps, though; Discord's already huge ego would probably be out of control if he saw that Twilight had bought one of his lamps.

She passed Applejack's stand. "How are you doing with the cherries?" she asked.

Applejack shrugged. "Not too bad, I guess." Apple Bloom was standing in front of the stand with a huge sign covered with hoof-drawn cherries and the words "FRESH CHERRIES TOPSY-TURVY DAY SPECIAL ONE DAY ONLY!" She was bouncing up and down, waving the sign, which was strapped to her left forehoof. "Turns out Granny can make a mean cherry pie. Funny what you find out after so many years." Big Mac pulled up to the stall with a cartload of more hot cherry pies. Twilight assisted by using her telekinesis to unload them so he could head back for another batch more quickly.

"HOT CHERRY PIES!" Apple Bloom shouted, at the volume she used to shout "Cutie Mark Crusaders Something Yay!" "Fresh and delicious, right out of the oven! Get your cherry pies here, one day only!"

"The fresh cherries don't sell as well as fresh apples do, but the cherry pies do real well. The Cherry family, they do a lot more with turnovers and pastries. Not so much the pies."

One of the Cherries, across the way, shouted, "Yeah, but now that we've seen how well they sell, that's gonna change!"

"Sure, but I betcha my Granny's pie will still be better!" Applejack shouted back.

"Sure, but she'll only be making apple pies again so we won't be competing with her!"

"Can't argue against that, I guess." 

Twilight bought a small cherry pie, since she hadn't really had breakfast yet. Did four cups of coffee with cream count as breakfast? "It really is good," she told Applejack. "Maybe you guys should buy cherries from the Cherries and have Granny make pies from them more often."

"Naah, we don't do general baking. Just our specialty. Otherwise we'd be in competition with the Cakes and that ain't fair to them."

"They don't make nearly as many pies as they do cakes. And cupcakes. And muffins. But you know what I mean. Not pies."

"Funny, you'd think Pinkie would make more pies than she does, given her name."

"You'd also think her family would be bakers and not rock farmers, but sometimes names are weird."

"True enough."

The Cherries were selling pickles. The Pickle family were selling carrots. The Carrots were selling garden greens. Looking around, Twilight didn't actually see anyone selling apples. "Who's got your apples?"

"Mr. Rich, actually. He's got Diamond and Silver running an apple stall. We thought it would be good for the girls. Give them some real world experience with retail."

"But what if they don't sell?"

Applejack grinned. "Granny got Mr. Rich to buy the apples up front. Whatever the girls don't sell, he's gonna be selling at the bigger Barnyard Bargains, the ones that ain't in Ponyville, after all this Topsy-Turvy nonsense is over. We figure, it's time to take advantage of the trains; we can't get fresh warm pies out there, but sure as beaver teeth we can get fresh apples out there on a daily basis during harvest season. Manehattan's got their own source, of course, there's a reason they call the area it's in Big Apple, but Fillydelphia and Baltimare and especially Canterlot don't get the freshest apples themselves. So he's gonna test it out, see if his stores can move fresh apples from Ponyville, and if it works out we'll be selling him a lot more for his stores."

"Sounds like a great idea." Canterlot had never had a good supply of fresh fruit. Lots and lots of delicious confections made from canned or frozen fruit, but never much in the way of the fresh stuff, except in the very expensive salads that the Princesses and the nobility ate all the time.

Twilight continued to walk up and down the rows of stalls. Caramel was managing a couple of carnival games – one where you had to toss a hoop onto the horn of a giant toy unicorn, without magic, and one where you had to control a toy magical snail with a joystick to escape an obstacle course, and whoever got out of the obstacle course first won the game. Pipsqueak was losing to Button Mash, badly. As Twilight watched, Time Turner, pontificating about science and calculus and angles, successfully landed three hoops in a row on the toy unicorn's horn. He acquired an absurdly large stuffed giraffe and gave it to Muffins, who hugged him and then re-gifted it five minutes later to her daughter Dinky. Turner rolled his eyes. "I meant that for you," he said crossly. "Now I have to win another one!"

"But Dinky loves giraffes." This did not appear to be entirely accurate; Dinky was well into adolescence and appeared to be mortally embarrassed by the giraffe, though she was respectful enough of her mother's feelings that she was continuing to lug it along with her magic.

At another stall, Thunderlane was selling the artificial wing spell, which Discord had apparently bottled as a pink fizzy soda that was so sugary it tasted sickening to most ponies. This was apparently not an obstacle to Scootaloo, who was gulping it down. Twilight frowned at her. "Scootaloo, why are you buying artificial wings? You have two of your own."

"Thunderlane says that Discord says that this is pure bottled pegasus flight magic, so any pegasus who can't fly for whatever reason will be able to fly if they buy!" She burped. It sounded like Spike did when he was about to burp up an entire book rather than just a scroll. "Yuck. Tastes terrible." She turned to Thunderlane. "How long before it works?"

Thunderlane shrugged. "It should be working right now."

Scootaloo experimentally tried flapping her wings, rose off the ground instantly, and whooped with excitement. "This is awesome! Wait until I show Rainbow Dash! Princess Twilight, where is Rainbow Dash anyway?"

"Cleaning her house. Apparently Fluttershy invited Rainbow's grandmother to Ponyville to try the artificial wings today."

"Whoa, she has to clean her house on Topsy-Turvy Day? Mega uncool." 

Sweetie Belle appeared, with the same translucent insectoid wings that Rarity had sported the day Twilight had cast an artificial wing spell on her. "Apple Bloom says she'll be able to join us this afternoon!"

"Awesome! Listen, I just heard Rainbow is stuck cleaning her house because her grandma's coming to visit. Why don't we go help her and show off our flight moves?"

"I don't really have much in the way of flight moves, but sure, I can help you help Rainbow clean," Sweetie said. "It wouldn't be really fair if we went off and had flying adventures without Apple Bloom, so I guess we have time to help Rainbow."

"I think if you're actually going to be helpful, you should focus more on the cleaning and less on the flight moves," Twilight advised Scootaloo. "Rainbow doesn't need a stunt flyer to help her clean, she needs a pony who will listen to directions."

"I can listen! I'm a great listener, when I actually care!"

Twilight had to admit that this was not inaccurate. "Okay, you two, go on then." As they flew off, she turned to Thunderlane. "Did Discord ever get anyone to test this spell, or did he forget?"

"I tested it. It's pretty good. The flight, I mean, the actual spell tastes horrible. There's no weather component so it feels a little weird, because a lot of flight is about grabbing the wind and making it do what you want and there's none of that in these spells, but it feels like he baked in the basics for flight pretty good. I kinda worry about that kid because now she thinks she's a stunt flyer and she really hasn't ever had a chance to practice stunt moves; you can't really call the stuff she does with her scooter flying. But I tried a dead drop and apparently the spell won't let you hit the ground unless you're in landing position; if you fall you just end up floating about two ponies above ground." Pegasi were less likely to use the more common term "head" as a unit of measurement for height, and usually measured vertical distance in pony-heights, shortened to "ponies". "So I guess she'll be okay. That'll be 2 bits, please." This was said to the mare who was eagerly purchasing the wing potion. 

"Where's the money going?"

Thunderlane shrugged. "Dunno. I thought it was going to you for the garden upkeep."

"Maybe it's going to the town for the expense of throwing the festival in the first place." Or maybe Discord was keeping it. Fluttershy or Pinkie would probably know.

Twilight wandered a bit more. There were standard carnival rides, and also utterly ridiculous ones, like a Ferris wheel that, after taking enough ponies aboard, would fall off of its moorings and roll all over town, or a pirate ship ride in which, after rocking back and forth some, the ship would fall into an ocean that obviously hadn't been there before and sail away for several minutes before returning. She watched long enough to observe that while the strange rides never did the exact same thing more than once, they did do the same general thing every time. So the Ferris wheel would always fall off and roll around town, but it would take a different route each time. The pirate ship would take a different number of back and forth swings before falling into the ocean and sailing off, and the ocean itself would occupy different parts of Ponyville each time. It was an illusory ocean; ponies who were not on the pirate ship wouldn't even see it, though they would see the pirate ship floating over their heads, while the ponies on the pirate ship would have to look hard over the edge to be able to see the real Ponyville beneath. Discord could apparently satisfy his need for randomness by introducing minor randomness into an otherwise fairly predictable event, as long as the event itself was sufficiently ridiculous.

Several of the prizes for the carnival games contained within them raffle tickets. Twilight had the opportunity to observe a pony pull a raffle ticket out of the large plushie cake that an even larger plushie Celestia was trying to eat. In Discord's voice, it declared cheerily that the owner of the raffle ticket should come to the raffle, held "sometime today", for a chance to win "prizes unimagined by ponykind!" That one, Twilight would have to keep an eye on. 

Mayor Mare caught up to her sometime approaching what was probably noon, according to her timepiece, though not according to the sun, which had been insisting on staying at about 10 o'clock for the past few hours. "I think things are going well!" she said, loudly and nervously. "Don't you think things are going well, Princess Twilight?"

"Yes, so far things seem to be going well," Twilight said, making sure to add the caveat because of course if she claimed that things were going well, in general, fate was certain to intervene and make it untrue. "I'm a little concerned about this raffle thing, though, and I haven't been able to find Discord to ask him about it."

"Do you think he's up to something?" the Mayor asked, her eyes wide.

Twilight sighed. "Discord's always up to something. It's not always something bad, but it's always something that's going to cause chaos, one way or another. Have you seen him?"

"Briefly, this morning, but not since."

"Let him know I want to talk to him if you see him before me."

A colt caught up to her a few minutes later. "Princess Twilight! Princess Twilight, I'm looking for Discord. Do you know where he is?"

"No, I haven't," Twilight said. "Is it something I can help you with?"

"No," he said. "I came to Ponyville today to see Discord. I wrote him a letter before Topsy Turvy Day. Do you know if he got it?"

"I'm sure he must have. If I find him, who should I say is looking for him?"

The colt pawed the ground with embarrassment, looking down. "It's not like he's going to recognize it or anything."

"No, but it's important to know the names of the ponies who want to speak with you."

"It's Fry. Uh, Small Fry, but I don't go by that anymore, just Fry."

"I'll let him know if I see him."

She continued her patrol of the festivities. There was Fluttershy, at the petting zoo. Twilight trotted up to her. "Fluttershy! Do you know where Discord is?" 

"Um, Vanhoover I think? Oh, please don't be rough with the manticore!" This was said to a foal. "It may be miniaturized, but its sting is still venomous!"

The petting zoo consisted of monstrous Everfree creatures that had all been sized down, ranging between the size of a hamster and the size of a small dog. Twilight saw the Chimera luxuriating as two foals petted all three of her heads, and her back; she'd been turned the size of a house cat. "How did you talk the Chimera into participating in this?" Twilight asked. "I thought she was obsessed with eating ponies."

"Discord had a little chat with her, a couple of years ago, about why it's a bad idea to try to eat ponies," Fluttershy said. "And I have a sea water tank now with tuna, sharks and swordfish."

"Where?"

"In my bathroom. Discord did something to distort the size of it; the fish inside aren't any bigger than goldfish, but when I pull them out, they turn back to their original size within a few minutes. I just have to make sure they're not in the bathroom when they revert or I'll have a terrible time getting them out. Harry just loves getting really big fish, and the saltwater taste is really exotic for him. Well, it turns out the Chimera likes swordfish more than she likes ponies, so I've been feeding her. Stephen Magnet drops by for dinner every so often, too." She smiled conspiratorially up at Twilight. "Did you know he's seeing someone? There's another water serpent down by Dodge City. Stephen's very shy about his romantic life, but I think he might just bring his boyfriend to meet me one of these days for swordfish. I should have Rarity come by, too; Stephen still thinks very highly of her, and he might like advice for what sort of suit a water serpent should get married in."

The idea that a water serpent would want to wear clothes to get married in struck Twilight as utterly ridiculous, but she didn't say so. "I think Discord shouldn't have left the manticore with venom if he's going to be dangerous."

"Oh, Manny wouldn't actually hurt a foal. It's just that I don't want them to hurt him while he's so tiny." The manticore was also the size of a house cat, albeit a slightly larger house cat than the Chimera. 

"Do you know when he's expected back from Vanhoover?"

"He never actually gives me a schedule," Fluttershy said. "I was hoping this time it'd be different because the main event is here in Ponyville, but he still has to teleport all over the place to make sure the celebrations are going well in other cities." She sighed. "This isn't my favorite holiday with him, you know. He's so busy. I really like Summer Sun; it's not a holiday he even cares about celebrating, so we usually just go to some exotic beach somewhere to see animals I've never seen before and give him a chance to play in the water."

"What about Hearth's Warming?"

"It's always a lovely time of year, but Hearth's Warming is about spending time with all of your friends, so... not really an appropriate time for a romantic getaway, though it is fun to snuggle in front of a fire. What about you?"

"The humans celebrate Christmas, and it's later than Hearth's Warming – closer to Winter Moon – so it's not a conflict for me. I spend Hearth's Warming with my friends and then go spend Christmas with Sunset. You're right about the snuggling in front of a fire, though." Twilight grinned. "Did you know Other Me is on her third boyfriend?"

"No, really?"

"Really. Amazing what life would have been like for me if I'd been in estrus all the time with no way to turn it off, like humans are stuck with. I honestly don't know how Sunset has managed to deal with it for so long. Half of them have gone off to college so they only really get to get the whole gang back together around Christmas and during the summer, though, so it's kind of like Hearth's Warming here – Sunset and I have to spend most of our time with the friends we have there, although at least they're spending a lot of time with their families, too, which gives us some free time with each other."

"AUNTIE TWILIGHT!!!!"

Twilight turned around to get a faceful of tiny alicorn, as Flurry Heart divebombed her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up there—Flurry, come on – Flurry, I can't see, stop hugging my face—"

A telekinetic field removed the energetic toddler. Cadance, still taller than Twilight, smiled down at her. "Sorry about that. She's just overexcited." She set Flurry down. "Do you want to pet the animals?"

"Yes!"

"Well, ask Aunt Fluttershy which ones are okay to pet."

As Flurry flew directly at Fluttershy like a small white torpedo, Twilight said, "What are you guys even doing down here?"

"Well, the Crystal Faire was last week, so when we heard that you guys were having Topsy-Turvy Day hosted in Ponyville, I decided to take Flurry down here so she can enjoy it. The Crystal Faire's fun, of course, but in the Crystal Empire she's the heir to the throne. Here, she's just another princess and not even one of the top three important ones." Cadance grinned. "And I'm not either. It's wonderful."

"What about Shining?"

Cadance lost the smile. "He's... never really forgiven Discord for that day, you know. He was there, trying to protect the princesses and me."

"Oh, no," Fluttershy said. "I'm so sorry..."

"Fluttershy, you should never apologize on Discord's behalf. You did nothing wrong," Cadance said. "And I've forgiven Discord, but you see, I can tell how much he loves you, and how much he cares about his friends, so it's easy for me to see that he'll never do anything like that again and he feels awful about it. But Shining... well, he can't feel those things, and it's very hard for him to forgive when someone hurts the ones he loves. I'm sure he'll get over it eventually, but for now, it's easy enough to keep him from ever having to see Discord. I don't think either of them really need that stress. Besides, someone's got to hold down the fort at home." She smiled.

"I know, but I miss him," Twilight said. "I guess I should come up to visit more often."

"Yes. Yes, you really should."

"Kitty!"

"Pet him nicely, now," Fluttershy said.

Cadance paled slightly. "Fluttershy, is that a manticore on my daughter's lap?"

Fluttershy beamed at her. "He is! He's one of my best friends. We met when we were fighting Nightmare Moon; she put a thorn in his paw to rile him up and make him angry at everypony so he would attack us, but he's actually really a big softy." She turned to Flurry. "Not so rough with him, sweetie. Manny's used to being very big, but right now he's very little and you're big. That means you have to be careful with him."

"I'm big!" Flurry agreed. "I'm a princess! Princesses are careful!"

"Yes, Flurry, princesses have to be very careful because we're so strong," Cadance said. "You never want to hurt any creature with your strength just because you weren't careful!"

"Uh-uhn!" Flurry shook her head, the negation agreeing with her mother's statement. "I'm careful!"

"That's right. Show Aunt Fluttershy how careful you can be."

Flurry petted the manticore with exaggerated caution. "Sunburst's been working with her a lot on the whole being careful thing," Cadance said softly. Then her eyes widened. "Twilight, is that who I think it is?"

Twilight followed her gaze to a cheerful unicorn Twilight didn't particularly recognize, with a white coat and a pale pink mane and a sunflower cutie mark. Her mouth was smeared with red from the cherry pie she was devouring. "Uh, who do you think it is?"

Cadance looked at Twilight hard. "You don't know."

"Noooo... can't say I do..."

"Oh, well then! That's all right. Could you girls watch Flurry for just a moment?" Before Twilight could say yes or no, her former foalsitter had trotted off, following the white unicorn. 

"Auntie Twilight! Story!"

"But I don't have any books with me," Twilight said helplessly.

Flurry glared at her with all of the rage of a thwarted toddler. "STORY!"

"Um, I could tell you a story, if you like?" 

Flurry was all smiles again. "Auntie Fluttershy, you tell story."

Twilight started to follow Cadance. Flurry was having none of it. "Auntie Twilight! Listen to Auntie Fluttershy's story! You're rude!"

Twilight sighed. "Oh dear, well, I certainly wouldn't want to be rude," she said. "What story is this?"

"This story is called Goldmane and the Three Bears," Fluttershy said. "Have you heard this story before, Flurry?"

"Nuh-uh." Flurry shook her head emphatically. "I wanna hear story!"

"Once upon a time, there was a little filly who got lost in the Everfree Forest..."




Cadance trotted up to the white unicorn. "Aunt Sunny! It's been so long since I've seen you! How have you been?"

"Sunny" nearly choked on her pie. "Cadance! How, uh, unexpected! What brings you to Ponyville today?"

"Oh, you know, I've got a little filly now and she loves festivals. Can't get enough of them. Also, a little bug told me I should have a chat with my favorite aunt. Which reminds me, is my other aunt around here somewhere?"

"No, no, Moon Cake's celebrating in Canterlot. But I do Canterlot every year, so I thought I'd try Ponyville this year." She glanced around herself. "Shall we go somewhere quiet and catch up?"

"That sounds great. Twilight and Fluttershy are watching Flurry for me. Have you seen Discord, by any chance?"

Sunny levitated a golden pendant that hung from a thin necklace. Inside the pendant there was a pearl. "What color is my pearl? Can you see?"

"Uh... light pink, maybe? Or very pale purple?"

"Mmm. Well, if it's not dark purple, then Discord isn't anywhere near Ponyville. I couldn't tell you where he actually is, but I can tell you he's not here. Do you need to speak with him too?"

Cadance shook her head. "No." She met the smaller pony's eyes, feeling awkward because she should be looking up into them, but the disguise was perfectly done; she couldn't see any element of the true pony hidden behind the mask of "Aunt Sunny". "This is perfect, then. Because until I talk to you, I really think it'd be best if no one else heard what I need to tell you. Especially Discord."

"I see. The school should be unoccupied at the moment; the foals have the day off. Shall we go swing on the swings?"

"That's... a little foalish, don't you think?"

Sunny smiled. "It's Topsy-Turvy Day. If two grown mares can't swing on a swingset on this day, then I don't know what the world is coming to."

A flash of teleportation, and she was gone. Cadance followed.




"Get over here, you stupid cloud!" Rainbow Dash growled. The cloud was having none of it.

Discord had said he would create a thunderstorm. Fine. It wasn't like Rainbow could stop him, and it wasn't like she was going to anyway given that it was his holiday. But she'd be darned if she was going to let a different storm ruin the day before Discord decided to ruin the day himself for his own stupid reasons. That cloud was getting busted. No ifs, ands or buts to it.

The only problem was it kept running away.

Rainbow scowled. Clouds weren't sentient. Winds could shift without a pegasus controlling them, but for a wind to keep shifting, seemingly at random but coincidentally just happen to move the cloud out of the way every time she dove at it? She wasn't buying it. "Discord! I know it's you, come on out where I can see you!"

As she'd expected, the draconequus appeared, giggling manically. "Why, I can't believe the great Rainbow Dash is having so much trouble with one little cloud! Surely with all your experience as a weathermare, you can do better than that!"

Rainbow glared at him. "Hey! I wouldn't be having any problems with it if you hadn't decided to make it zip all over the place!"

"Oh, I do apologize, but if you didn't want me to make the cloud 'zip all over the place', you shouldn't have made such a hilarious face when you chased it!" he chortled. "You should have seen yourself!"

Her glare intensified... and then melted. "Pfft. Yeah, I guess you got me good!" Rainbow chuckled. "But aren't you supposed to be, like, supervising the celebration or something?"

Discord made a face. "What sort of celebration of chaos would it be if I micromanaged it?"

"Good point!" 

"Hey, Rainbow!" Scootaloo shouted. "Watch this!"

The kid performed an extremely wobbly loop-de-loop. For a moment, Rainbow tensed, sure that Scootaloo was going to lose it and fall and that she would have to go to the filly's rescue, but Scoots pulled it out at the last second.

"Relax," Discord murmured. "The spell makes them hover a pony height or two above ground if they fall, and it absorbs the inertia so they don't get hurt."

"Pretty good, kid! But instead of trying to stunt fly, why don't you practice the basics? With a spell helping you with your flight field, maybe you can figure out how to point it right normally!"

Scootaloo shook her head. "Doesn't work; every time I try the spell just does it for me. I'm not gonna have a chance like this again real soon so I am totally doing stunts!"

She flew off, Sweetie Belle following her with large, sparkly insectoid wings like Rarity had had that one time. "Hey, Sweetie! Nice wings! You gonna upstage Scoots like your sister tried to do to me one time?" Rainbow called.

Sweetie just laughed. "That's just Rarity," she said, and flew after her friend.

"Rarity attempted to upstage you? With spell-based wings? Oh, this is a story I haven't heard!" Discord was now floating in front of Rainbow but effortlessly keeping pace with her, backwards, his chin in his paws and his body sprawled out as if he were lying on an invisible surface.

Rainbow shrugged. "Sure, I'll tell you the story. I was gonna be in the Best Young Flyers' competition..."

Funny. She'd hated Discord once. For what he did to her friends, for the fact that he was obviously totally using Fluttershy and not reciprocating their so-called 'friendship', for what he did with Tirek. But in the aftermath of that, he'd won her respect. He'd tried to help them break free, and when Tirek had imprisoned him too, he'd had the opportunity to squeeze out of the cage himself, but he hadn't taken it, focusing on trying to help them. It hadn't worked, but it had been the trying that impressed her. And then he'd taken his medicine, surrendered himself to the judgement of Celestia's court and accepted the sentence. She still hadn't liked him much, but she'd started to respect him then. And then, when Fluttershy had told them all that Discord was no longer her platonic friend and was instead her special friend, Rainbow had confronted him angrily and told him he didn't deserve Fluttershy. He'd agreed.

"I know. I'm not worthy of her. I never will be. She's kindness incarnate, and I... can barely manage to remember to care about most ponies, or most of anyone really. We all know she could do far, far better than me... well, maybe not in terms of looks," and he'd grinned wryly, "but some things can't be offset by a pretty face no matter how attractive. I know that." He'd looked down. "I let them put me in stone because I hurt her. And I'm going to do my best to never hurt her again, but... I'm Chaos. I'm not careful. I'm going to screw it up, somehow. But..." He shrugged helplessly. "She wants me. She knows how terrible I am and she wants me anyway. How am I supposed to say no to her? I love her more than I think I love my own life, Rainbow, and you know how selfish I am. But anything she wants, I can't help myself, I'll move heaven and earth if I have to, just to make sure she gets what she wants. And she wants me. I can't say no to that."

Despite herself, Rainbow had been moved. The fact that he'd taken the conversation seriously, that he'd admitted that he wasn't worthy of Fluttershy, that he knew what a screwup he was... she'd never expected anything like that from Discord. And he had a point. When Fluttershy wanted something, the ponies who cared about her made sure she got it, because she was worth too much to them to deny her anything. If Fluttershy meant as much to him as he said she did, and she wanted him for her special somepony, how could he hurt her by saying no?

Since then, she'd... actually kind of missed the big idiot when he was locked up in stone. Adding him to their pranking team had made Rainbow and Pinkie capable of pulling off even more outrageous and hilarious pranks, though they had to ride herd on him to make sure his ideas didn't get out of hand. And sometimes he could be persuaded to make a really cool obstacle course for her to test herself against, or fly against her himself on wingpower only. She usually won, because she was just that awesome, but Discord was surprisingly good for a guy who normally didn't even bother to use his wings. And Fluttershy was happier when she was with him. That was the important thing.

So she told him the story of Rarity trying to upstage her at the Best Young Flyers' competition, and he laughed, and she laughed too because in hindsight it really was a funny story, though it hadn't seemed funny at the time. And then she asked him about the rides he'd set up in Ponyville, and were any of them actually dangerous, and would he be willing to make any of them actually dangerous just for her (the answer to both questions was "not really"), and they were talking just like if they were friends, and she supposed they were, now. Kinda hard to be loyal to your best friend and still hate the one she loved, at least as long as he was treating her well and so far as she could see, he was. Though she had promised to punch him in the face if he ever hurt Fluttershy, and he had promised to let her.