Session 58.0 Alex Warlorn
"Trixie casts Chain Thunderbolt, which I'd say wipes out those dastardly orcs, so-"
The Tea-Cup Poodle scurried into the room, and leapt on top of the table. Then it 'spoke' (Twilight blamed Discord). "God, command me."
Trixie stared at the poodle tea cup, then grinned. "Trixie never knew she'd wanted something so badly until she had it until this moment."
Twilight Sparkle's eyes were wide, the game forgotten, then narrowed. "She is not calling you that."
Princess Luna, who had taken the time to play again with one of her 'veteran' characters said, "Why not? It works for us."
Thestral Guards who had accompanied her said, "God, command us."
"See?"
"God command us," said the chicks who used to be a book Twilight zapped into a basket of eggs.
Twilight Sparkle's eye twitched. "AGH!"
"Trixie, has created a new species. She'd like her wings and crown now, please."
Meanwhile in the human world...
The Ginger Bread Men looked up from the tray, "God, command us."
Sunset Shimmer had a arm between her uh, 'creations', and a hungry human world Pinkie Pie. "This is very awkward."
-
"I WILL CREATE THE LAND OF THE TEA-CUP PEOPLE AND THEY WORSHIP AND LOVE ME!"
Celestia (who was sitting in on one of Luna's RP sessions for once and was completely lost) smiled. "I can safely say that plan has worked out good for me with ponies so far."
"Trixie are you going mad with power, again?" Twilight asked.
"Uh, no?"
-
"Oh doctor, ever since I finally learned how to do real magic, I've wanted to go back to all those who told me I was magically retarded and therefore wasn't worthy bullying-" Trixie wrung her hooves maniacally, her iris' different sizes, "-aNd tURn thEm aLl inTO TeacUPS!" Her voice took on a demonic tone.
"Ya, let'z get back to the couch now, ya?"
Session 58.1 Ardashir (Continued from Session 57.12 )
"I should be the strongest fighter in your video game! And I should beat EVERYPONY! All the time!" Chrysalis snarled at the two game developers. The ponies gulped as the sight of her snaggle fangs and winced from the horrid stench surrounding her and her Changelings.
"I'm beginning to wish we got the job of going to Tartarus to interview Tirek instead," one grumbled to his partner. Bits of slime dripped from the ceiling of the cave, Chrysalis' new temporary royal lair. "At least he's in a cage."
And Down Below:
"I should be the strongest fighter! And I should beat EVERYPONY! All the time!" Tirek rattled the blessed iron bars of his cage, snarling in pain as his flesh smoked at the touch.
The two developers gagged on the reek of burned demon centaur. The hellish shrieks and wails in the distance didn't help, forcing them to get closer to both the cage and the source of that odor to speak with the imprisoned villain.
"Oh, why couldn't we have gotten Chrysalis? She could at least turn into something pleasant to look at, and no one has to smell roast demon!"
Session 58.2 Devcon101
The light of Luna’s moon shone down upon the Crystal Empire, who’s streets laid bare, everpony fast asleep. However, not everything was asleep. For at that very moment, a small group of teenage dragons stealthily (as stealthily as a bunch of dragons could be, that is) moved along the streets toward the giant crystal castle that towered above the rest of the empire. Leading this group was none other than Garble, who while having lost a good couple of his normal cronies after the “hugging incident” had bribed some other dragons with some stuff from his hoard into following his lead.
“So what are we doing again?”, the pink-haired white dragon, one of the few cronies Garble had left, asked. Garble sighed in irritation.
“The same thing we do every night, “Pinkie”. Try to take over the world!” The white dragon blinked.
“Uh...say that again?” Garble growled in frustration.
“I literally just said it! We’re gonna go kidnap that baby winged unicorn these looser ponies keep fawning over and hold her for ransom!” The dragon nodded, but as Garble left for the next alley, he took a minute to put a finger in his ear and twist it around, pulling it back out before shrugging and continuing forward.
After the short-lived dragon lord Spike had forced him to hug every dragon he met on his way back home, his reputation among the teenage dragons had taken a massive blow. Only a few of his more loyal cronies remained with him, and even then would never let him live it down. Only something truly daring, diabolical and awesome could possibly hope to repair it. And after hearing down the grapevine about those pathetic pastel horses now worshiping some sort of baby unicorn with wings, he had got an idea; if he could snatch the baby and stash her away somewhere, those ponies would do anything to get her back. It would kill two birds with one stone: the other dragons would think he was totally awesome for managing to steal the baby, and he could get enough riches from the ransom to increase his hoard ten-fold. Maybe even grow him up to an adult dragon, that would be rad.
-
Garble smiled with pride and diabolical glee. While one dragon he would admit likely couldn’t have gotten past all the guards, the entire group of dragons had gotten him to the baby’s room. Of the eight that had originally accompanied him, however, only two were still with him. The others had met some complications along the way. Garble ordered the other two to stand watch, as he walked up to the door, cracking his knuckles. He pushed open the door, and tiptoed his way past the many toys that dotted the floor. Standing over the crib, he gave a slight chuckle, pulling out a big ol’ brown sack as he reached for the baby. As he did so, however, he heard a very quiet voice go “psst”. Giving a confused “huh?” he looked around, his eyes stopping on what looked like some sort of toy-sized insectoid pony, who looked back at him with fear in its eyes.
“Don’t do it! It’s not worth it! Save yourself!” While it was rather tiny, its shouts somehow reached Garble’s ears, who looked down, confused. Before he could react, however, another sound grabbed his attention. He whipped back around to see Flurryheart slowly open her eyes, awoken by the sound of Garble’s “huh”. She peered up at Garble, who suddenly felt an intense feeling of dread wash over him…
-
Two crystal pony guards sat at a table, playing dice with one another.
“Hah! I win again!” The one guard chuckled as he pulled the coins over to him, the other guard grumbling in frustration. Before they could begin another game, however, another guard trotted over, a stern expression on his face.
“What are you two idiots doing? There’s no time to play games! An intruder could come running down this corridor at any moment! We have to be ready!” Almost as if on cue, the two dragons that had been with Garble ran past, screaming their heads off as if Tiamat herself were on their heals.
“Hm. Convenient. Get them!” The three guards grabbed their weapons and chased in pursuit.
Meanwhile…
Garble screamed in terror as he ran across a small planetoid, dressed in space pirate garb as he ran away from a group of space alicorns who blasted rapid fire magic shots at him.
“Somebody, anybody, HEEELLP!”
Elsewhere…
Shining Armor sat at a table with his gaming friends, playing a late night session, before looking up suddenly.
“...Did you guys hear something?” The rest of the group shook their heads. Shining looked on for a moment, before shrugging and getting back to the game, unwittingly leaving Garble to his fate.
Session 58.3 Grogar-the-oneser and Alex Warlorn (continued from Session 57.1 )
Three days later.
Both Pinkie and Gilda were tied to pole with everyone arm with tomatoes.
"Then again I have been wrong before." Pinkie admitted.
"Let's hit them with tomatoes in the face!"
"Yes! Let's him them with tomatoes in the face, from this vase!"
"We'll hit them with tomatoes in the face from this vase so hard they'll rocket into space!"
"They'll be gone without a trace after we've hit them with tomatoes in the face and they've rocketed into space!"
Pinkie Pie said, "We shall return for space for we shall ace space, and so we won't be gone without a trace after you rocket us into space by throwing tomatoes in my face from the vase!"
"Don't listen to her! We must do so post haste! And throw tomatoes in their face from this vase so hard they rocket into space and be gone without a trace!"
"But space we shall ace!" Gilda quipped. "And my face will appear in space, for a constellation with my face in space I shall lace!"
The idea of Gilda's grinning face looking down at them from space scared the crowded place.
"Me too!" That was enough to make the crowd retreat.
Gilda slapped Pinkie Pie in the face with her tail. "Combo breaker."
Pinkie Pie grinned, "You're learning young one!"
Zecora was smiling.
"Like the tide turns to foam,
I feel like I am home!"
Session 58.4 Alex Warlorn, Mtangalion, Ardashir (Continued from Session 57.4 )
"And since Yakyakistan is now saying that Icehome is actually on land claimed by the Yaks centuries ago, and are demanding the Diamond Wolves fall under their 'protection', it's a golden time for the Northern Diamond Dogs and Diamondia to be reunited. Since if Icehome is recognized by the other Diamond Dog kingdom, then we can argue that Yakyakistan's claims are outdated and your two kingdoms can become recognized as a united alliance," Twilight Sparkle explained.
'It explains why Diamond Dogs were so magically behind other species. The skilled and learned mages likely most all left with the separatists, and they still have a culture of secrecy from the time when intellectuals were oppressed.' Princess Twilight would have likely found a new species to call herself if she'd been in their shoes.
Alisa growled. "Diamond Dogs nothing but mangy thieves!"
Princess Twilight looked between the two talking canines at her 'friendship table' in her castle at what was supposed to be a 'friend game' of Snakes and Ladders. "Isn't it time to bury the hatchet? Think of all the things you could accomplish together. Why, except for a few magic-induced cold weather adaptations, you're still the same species."
Alisa and Fetch growled. "Grrrrr! We're nothing alike!"
"Funny, Princess Platinum and Commander Hurricane said the same thing a couple thousand years ago," Rainbow Dash remarked.
'Yeah, reconciling the Diamond Dogs and Diamond Wolves comes under the heading of 'long-term project.'' Twilight Sparkle thought.
Session 58.5 Mtangalion and SomeRandomMinion and Alex Walorn (Continued from Session 57.6)
Behind the GM screen Applejack raised her arms dramatically that reminded Rainbow Dash more of milking a giant cow. "Ha! The secretly evil guy you took out was the secret minion of your secretly evil Wise Mentor! Dun-dun-dun!"
Applejack blinked. Rainbow Dash had fallen asleep!
"HEY!"
"Huh? Whu-? Sorry AJ, but name one mentor in stories who didn't turn out to be evil or didn't die before the second act. My mentor living all the way to the third act? It was obvious you were planning something when he didn't even get kidnapped, or didn't suffer a horrible death at the hooves of the supposed evil overlord."
"AGH!"
"Keep trying AJ."
Session 58.6 Kendell2, Alex Warlorn
Playing one of their games of chess, Luna remarked.
"Sister, did ye truly not know ye art an oath?"
"Luna, I was joking for Twilight's sake."
"With you sister, tis impossible to always be sure."
"I knew there was a liked you better than Lulu Celly!"
"AGH!" Luna snapped. "Be gone spirit of chaos!"
"Now don't be jealous Lulu, I-OW! Okay! I'm leaving, I'm leaving!"
Session 58.7 Alex Warlorn
Pinkie Pie waved. "Hi! The author just wants you to know this next bit is Non-Canon, just for fun, don't take this seriously, it's just a joke to tie in with Friendship is Magic IDW issue number 53. Okay? Good! Have fun!"
-
King Thorax was very confused when the letters on the (non-magical) Adventure Book he'd borrowed from Staright, suddenly rearranged themselves. "'Beware oh ye pretender, someday soon, the true king of all changelings shall return, your false history your kin have created for yourselves will protect you not. Prepare yourself for my return.'"
A similar message appeared in a Fuzzy Wuzzy Friends pop-up book that Queen Rosedust had reading under her royal bed cover at that very moment.
'Imposter. Thy fate is sealed.'
Meanwhile in her drafty, leaky ruins of a castle, Chrysalis snorted, "Who thought it would be funny to write in my copy of '101 Ways To Destroys Your Enemies!' I snatched from King Sombra's library when Cadence wasn't looking during one of our role playing season?"
'My dear Chrysalis, we shall be reunited again soon.' The letters had rearranged themselves to say.
"Why do I feel like I SHOULD know who this is? But don't? Bah! Whatever. Maybe?"
Session 58.8 Kendell2, Alex Warlorn, Mtagnalion, Ardashir, sonicandmario826.
"So Twilight was going through a buncha imagine spots on what would happen if she sent Starlight to live someplace else, Spike?"
Spike rolled his eyes. "Yes Rainbow Dash, that's what I just said. And those aren't even the weirdest ones."
"I'm not quite following the logic here. How does sending Starlight to Griffonstone wind up with Gilda ruling Equestria?" Spike asked.
Twilight's eyes shifted. "Um, I'll explain later!"
Doctor Hooves popped up from nowhere. "Hah, no you won't."
"Gah!"
"And Twilight teleported him to the Crystal Empire in a panic, I think."
-
"Last few seasons of episodes of your life not perfect! Yaks deeestroooy!"
"But I'm not ready to regenerate yet!" Doctor Whooves did what he did best and ran for it.
-
"I'm sure he's fine," Rainbow Dash said.
"What I was surprised at," Spike continued. "Was Celestia showing off a memory of you five together. I thought you weren't all close friends before."
"Oh we WEREN'T all close friends darling." Rarity admitted.
"I thought Pinkie Pie was just an annoying pink pony," Rainbow Dash admitted. Pinkie Pie just smiled and nodded.
"And me and Rarity were ready to claw each other's eyes out when we had that sleepover of Twilight's." Applejack added.
"Er, I wouldn't go, THAT, I wouldn't go that far darling," Rarity said eying Spike.
"Yeah, we were all together because we all got put in charge of different stuff for the Summer Sun Celebration," Rainbow Dash admitted.
"Well, that's a relief, I was worried we had another tear in the space time continuum to worry about." Everypony silently agreed to pretend that hadn't heard what Pinkie Pie just said. "Speaking of which, your mom and dad sure liked to hoard ribbons and hats right?"
"Yeah, even when they didn't bother wearin' most of the time. But me and Apple Bloom treasure every last one of them. But we won't go nuts over losing one."
Rarity gave a sigh of relief.
Session 58.9 Ardashir Alex Warlorn
(Friendship Is Magic IDW Issue 53 Spoilers)
"Wait wait wait," Twilight said as she and her friends enjoyed some victory pancakes. "You're tell me, the dragon and the knights inside the pocket reality created by Shadow Lock's magic had no idea why they were fighting?"
"Well, they DID say they'd been fighting for centuries." Fluttershy admitted.
"But... but... you said they knew everything that was written on the paragraphs of the displays, no more and no less."
"Yeah," Spike said.
"So... they didn't bother to even INCLUDE WHY the ponies/dragons war EVEN STARTED?! That's... that's outrageous! ... Hmmm. Maybe I should ask BBBFF's royal guard and game designer friends to create a historical war game about that."
"Uh, darling, aren't you worried about the sue happy over sensitives that have been attacking your brother's friends as of late? Also, I a VERY VERY VERY SURE NOW that if we had GONE TO COURT that we'd have WON that case against the griffins, the diamond dogs, and the others."
"Actually," Spike admitted. "As long we included an alternate scenario where the Dragonlands WON the war, I imagine that Ember won't mind too much. Not sure about Mina though."
"Oh Spike, Mina's a good dragon. She won't demand that we hide from our pasts. And that was a VERY long time ago."
"Very long time for ponies, not dragons," Spike pointed out.
"And most of the Dragon Town dragons are all young radicals. They'll likely not connect themselves with the 'Migration Dragons's War.'"
"You think?"
"We can't bottle ourselves up, scared of expressing ourselves, forever afraid that everything we say or do will offend somepony."
Session 58.10 Alex Warlorn
"Does Trixie have to do this?"
"I'm not letting you near that table for game night again until you do Trixie." Starlight glared at her.
"Fine fine Starlight, I solemnly swear not to teleport the Friendship Map again." Trixie waved a hoof. "Twilight's not exactly getting much use out of that thing other than game night anyway. And have you READ about some of those adventure? Not that Trixie has been reading Twilight's diary that she keeps under her pillow with the key in the bottom drawer of her dresser. But just conjure up a completely unrealistic pony out of nothing that exists just to embody a problem, have one of the two Elements of Harmony act like an idiot, with the pecking order of most likely to be the smart one to the one most likely to be the idiot being Fluttershy on top, followed by Pinkie Pie, then Twilight Sparkle then Applejack, then finally Rarity at the bottom."
"You mean like a mare who can't shut up about how great she is, whens he's more bark than bite?" Starlight was happy to turn the tables on Trixie for once on recounting their past screw-ups.
"Hey! The great and powerful Trixie is at least logical! I mean seriously, a super popular and super influential food critic who loves food that everypony else HATES? How does that even make sense?! Is there a secret organization building pony like robots whose only purpose is to be jerks custom made to whatever problem the Elements of Harmony are dealing with?"
Session 58.11 Alex Warlorn
"I really feel like sending a nasty letter to the Ponyville Gazette."
"Why is that honey?" Shining Armor asked looking up from Twilight's letter requesting a Dragonlands/Equestria education war game.
"The IDEA that Twilight would ever bring our Flurry, a 12-month old foal, into a room full of sick grade schoolers with Horsie Hives? She's not that irresponsible."
"Well, haven't you ever heard of a pox party?" Shining Armor offered, sweating a little.
"I'm pretty sure DEAR those are discouraged in this modern age in favor of good new inoculation!"
"Oh well! Twili' DOES an anti-germ protection spell! Like the kind she used on herself and you when Discord faked being sick."
"I remember. But the story makes no mention of her using it at all."
"Well, but it doesn't mention her NOT using it right?" Shining fidgeted more.
Cadence's eyes narrowed looking over the paper. "Wouldn't you sister cry in shame at you using 'there's no proof it didn't happen' logic?"
"Well," Shining eyes shifted. "Wouldn't it be OUT OF CHARACTER, if Twilight DIDN'T use that spell? I mean, it would be like assuming Twilight and her friends DIDN'T try to reason with Rainbow Dash when she started showboating before saving ponies when they invented Mare Do Well to cover her slack? Just because the papers didn't mention that part, doesn't mean it didn't happen, and if it would be out of character for it NOT to have happened, isn't it better to assume it did?"
"... Fine. I won't send the letter."
'Whew!' Shining wiped the sweat from his brow.
-
"First Base! Poor Baby Brother!" Flash Sentry cried, that his sibling was so sick along with his class that he needed to be in the hospital. And there was now the story going around that he'd been freaked out by Princess Flurry Heart running amok in the hospital, the same baby Flurry Heart, that according to records he might not have been exactly privy to, had come close to destroying the Crystal Empire single hoofedly in a temper tantrum.
Which was why Agent Bon Bon had taken it upon herself to erase the foals' memories of the incident so they didn't negatively think of their visiting princess and pass on that negativity to their parents and possibly sour the alliance between the two kingdoms. Or would have if Maternity Love-Tap hadn't sliced her 'infection deflection' spell device in two with her katana.
Both mares were dressed as nurses, with fake red cross cutie marks. After all, a ninja/secret agent that looked like a ninja/secret agent, was a very poor ninja/secret agent.
"What the buck maternity! I-"
Hoof slap. "LANGUAGE! Your a mother! I thought you'd understand!"
"No! I thought YOU'D understand! I thought your 'Celestia founded' organization were all about 'protecting innocent foals from traumatizing and corruptive material!'"
This was technically true, Celestia had been very worried about Nightmare Moon using her dream walking magic to brainwash and traumatize foals either directly or by artists she corrupted a thousand years ago when Maternity Love-Tap's order of ninjas was founded. Much like Celestia's fear of becoming like Nightmare Moon herself had led her to found SMILE around the same time.
"I don't use a magical device that intentionally causes brain damage!"
"Rogue element!"
"Looks who's talking!"
One mother forgot about her sword and kunai, and the adopted mother forgot about her spy gadgets and bother resorted to good old hoof-to-hoof combat.
And so began another epic battle in the shadows of Ponyville between 'so called retired' ninja and 'so called retired' secret agent.
The foals got a nice show of Ninja verses Secret Agent.
"All part of the show kids, all part of the show." Flash Sentry assured them.
"I wish was pirates," One of the foal said.
-
Cherry Fizzy and Banjo, and Note Worthy, Caramel had wandered into the Ponyville art gallery that had apparently always been around, much like that dance studio. Confused by the invite they'd gotten.
"Hi guys!" Said a blue haired orange stallion with a red scared who was most definitely to brawny to be Flash Sentry.
"Uh, who are you?"
"Guys! It's me! Spear Head! From Royal Guard Academy, remember?"
The eyes of the four stallions dilated. "Oh, right."
"Of course."
"How could we have forgotten?"
"It's great to see you again."
"And it's great to see you!" Said Spear Head, oblivious to the odd 'remembrance' of his friends. "Let me show you all my new art collections!"
That was when, in broad daylight, never a good sign, Princess Luna appeared, complete with her swirling dark blue cloud that she descended from in a storm cone.
"THIS NOT ART! THESE ARE ABOMINATIONS UPON THE FACE OF EQUESTRIA! The scrawlings of Princess Flurry are more art than this rubbish!"
Princess Luna vaporized the collection of modern art, and the souls of artists from beyond cheered. "And their source must be destroyed so more abominations are not spawned!"
Spear Head ran for his life, but was caught in Luna's magic and pulled towards him.
"I have only one last thing to say to ye abomination, and that is, hey dude are you alright?" She asked in Banjo's voice.
Banjo tapped Spear Head on the shoulder, who woke up.
"GAH!" His beautiful (in his opinion, not that art needed to be beautiful, or anything) art was still intact. And no sign of the reformed Nightmare Moon.
"You okay? You fell asleep right in the middle of chatting with us."
"Uh, yeah, not been pulling all nighters."
-
Twilight tried to paint miniatures for the next gaming session, but Pinkie Pie just stood there, with a smug look on her face. Twilight went to the kitchen, and Pinkie Pie followed, maintaining the exact same distance, still with a smug look on her face.
"Ugh! Pinkie Pie! Will you stop already?"
"Don't worry, I'll only do this until next week's adventure. Whose the total screw-up when it comes to foal sitting now?"
"... Is it too late to say I'm sorry for how I acted when you baby sat the Cake twins the first time?"
"And you have to take CARE of the babies, not just play with-"
"I get it already!"
"Oh no we're not. I'm riding this train for all it's worth!"
"Except I'm a Princess and I can put you in my dungeon you know!"
"Except you won't. And you don't even have one, remember? That's your basement."
"Blast! I have to get some work done on this place. And you just wait until our next game of O&O!"
-
"A BABY has figured out teleport magic at the age of 1... WHHHHHHHAAAAAAA! TRIXIE FEELS INSECURE!" Trixie was drowning her sorrows at Sugar Cube Corner.
"Welcome to the club." Scootaloo said sitting at the same table looked over at her with a giant milkshake at seeing Baby Flurry Heart's acrobatic moves.
"TRIIIIIIXIE! You know I'll always love you right?" Sang the Alicorn Amulet's siren call.
'Trixie thinks we should see other ponies.....and by 'See other ponies' she means her being friends with those ponies and you never seeing another pony again.'
Zecora, a zebra, and therefore not a pony, trotted up behind Trixie,, her eyes big red swirls, smiling, Zecora said, wearing the Amulet.
"Trixie whether if you would or would not mind,
"Wear necklace that crept on me from behind."
Trixie sighed. It was gonna be one of nights.
"This happen every time your ego takes a hit?" Scootaloo asked.
"... Not every time."
Session 58.12 Alex Warlorn
"Spike, have I ever told you how wonderful you were as a newborn baby dragon?" Twilight asked, setting up the miniatures and props for the next game.
"Didn't I nearly drive you insane, cause your grade to fall, and humiliate you in front of your classmates?"
"YES!!!"
"Trixie only wishes she had a camera as a filly."
"WAIT! You were there?!" Twilight turned, wondering when Trixie had snuck in, again.
"... Your ability to recognize ponies whom you do not consider your friends is truly wonderful oh loving Princess Twilight Sparkle, and not at all a sign of nepotism."
Spike pointed. "What about you remembering Twilight when you saw her in Ponyville for the first time?"
"... Trixie pleads the fifth."
-
"So if we did a wing transfer-switch spell, I'd get t fly, and the Crystal Empire wouldn't have to worry about their heir flying off of roofs right?" Scootaloo asked the three creepy ponies who had tried to steal Rainbow Dash's wings.
Session 58.13 Alex Warlorn
"'Gusty The Great,' the author sure had a flare for the dramatic," Twilight Sparkle said, already imagining adapting it into a game module.
"Yes... she did," Celestia said calmly.
2000 or so years ago.
"Gusty, what are you doing?" Truly asked, seeing the unicorn at the type writer Megan had lent her. Never mind how she was using it.
"Writing my memoirs."
Truly looked at what had been written so far. "'Punch, pow, ka-flosh you Tambleon pigs'?"
"... Maybe I need an editor?"
"You think?"
"And when did you punch Grogar six times in the face? I'm pretty sure you never said, 'Haha, got your goat!'" Buttons The First asked, having come in as well and helped herself to the draft without prompting.
"Just making stuff things more interesting!"
"Fighting Grogar's armies wasn't interesting?!"
"The publisher said I needed to make things more interesting!"
"And since when did Grogar draw his magic from ponies being afraid of him?"
"They said the 'enchanted bell' thing wouldn't relate to today's readers well, so I made it up. Plush it kinda works as, what's that word? Oh yeah, metaphor! He ruled his city through fear right?"
"Aren't there already a lot of those?" Buttons The First pointed out.
"'Unicorn warriors?' Really?" Truly asked reading on.
"Hey! It sounds cool doesn't it!?"
"And you cut out us singing 'Let Freedom Ring.'"
"The publisher felt songs don't mix with action sequences."
"That's stupid," Buttons said.
"And I am fairly certain that Grogar is best described as 'tyrannical', not 'treacherous.' " Wind Whistler remarked.
"WHEN DID YOU GET IN HERE?!" Gusty demanded.
"You left your window open, an you were clearly expressing need for narrative advice for your dramatization of events that you are passing off as an autobiography."
Session 58.14 Alex Warlorn and Ardashir
"C-common gems..." Cried, sitting at the same 'bar' at Sugar Cube Corner as Trixie and Scootaloo has occupied.
Spike pattered her on the back. "There there Rarity, just think of their artistic value and you'll be fine."
"But what if Sapphire Shores accuses me of overcharging her?!"
"Hey, she's a reasonable mare."
"'Reasonable' is not the same thing as 'merciful' Spike! A mare like her can't afford disastrous mistakes, and she doesn't accept them from those who work for her either!"
"... Let me just find a game of Dress Up Store, and you can dressed up instead of the paper dolls all day long."
"Really Spike? Thank you!" Rarity gave him a hug. He was REALLY going to pay for this later with Twilight's schedule.
-
"So it turns out I had more connections to ponies you already know like they spawned out of nothing, isn't it cool?" Starlight explained to Applejack as she trounced Applejack at Checkers for the 8th time in a row. Of course AJ said 'Best out of Twenty.'
"You get used to it, Starlight. Isn't that right Rara?"
-
"Miss Pinkie Pie hit Mommy in the head with a pizza box?! She should be ashamed!" Dinky Doo snorted angrily. Amethyst nodded darkly.
"It's no big deal girls!" She said to her daughters. "You'd be surprised at how many free stuff I get from that happening. And free pizza!"
Session 58.15 Mtangalion
“You see, my little thestral?” Luna offered a reassuring smile to Windy Whisper, as if comforting a foal imagining that Queen Chrysalis was lurking under her bed. “The beings of Lich-tenstein are fearsome, it is true, but not so threatening as you imagined.”
Luna had crafted tonight’s shared dream to resemble one of Canterlot’s grand theaters. A spotlight followed her as she approached the first of many creatures on the stage - an elegantly dressed thestral with burning red eyes, who hissed and drew a cloak about herself as the light approached. “The vamponies of Lich-tenstein sup upon blood, not magic as your nightponies do.”
Luna approached the next creature, a hulking gray dog with a black vest and many scars. “This is a Blood Diamond Dog. They are ever at war with the Zombie Dogs, and neither are in the habit of turning into ponies.”
Then she trotted over to a massive animated bone claw… the rest of the monstrosity was far too large to fit on stage. “The dragons of Lich-tenstein are, regrettably, mostly of the dracolich variety. No one would remotely confuse them with the kirin of Dusklight.”
Windy Whisper sat in the audience, alone amidst hundreds of empty seats, but already she seemed much more at ease. “Thank you so much, Princess! Ugh, I can’t believe I got so worked up over nothing.”
Windy bit into another dream-apple to soothe her nerves, wings twitching. “When I heard about Lich-tenstein, somehow I imagined that the tribes I created would suddenly turn out to be real, and not something I invented at all. I know I’m not that great of an author; I’d just die if ponies thought I was a fraud too.” She chuckled, flopping back in her seat. “You won’t believe this… I was actually worried that all the nightponies, wolfponies, and kirin would get mad and sue me like those poor game designers. You don’t know what a relief it is, knowing that they’re 100% fictional, and I can keep writing them any way I want!”
Luna’s smile froze, just for an instant.
Windy’s eyes narrowed. “Princess? What aren’t you telling me?”
In the next dream over, Sweetie Belle was finishing up the final frosting flourishes on the perfect recreation of her ancestor’s famous hundred-layer cake, when an ear-piercing “Whaaaaaat!?” made the whole cake collapse, burying half of Ponyville. “Oh, come on!”
In yet another dream, Prince Blueblood was flirting with attractive young mares at a fancy dress ball, promising them some private entertainment in his chambers, but three times in a row, he got the girl there and kissed her, only for her to unzip her head and turn out to be an affectionate Alisa in a costume. “Why?” he roared at her. “What do you want from me?”
“Blueblood doesn’t know,” said dream-Alisa, wagging her tail. “She went out of her way to be nice. Alisa’s interested in Blueblood, even pup could see it, but what does she want? What’s her game?”
“There you are, darling!” exclaimed dream-Rarity, levitating a butterfly net and a large cake. She batted her obviously false eyelashes at him. “I know. Let’s talk.”
Blueblood rubbed his eyes, trying to blot Alisa and Rarity both out. “I hate my subconscious sometimes.” Then the whole dream-palace shook and groaned as if an Ursa Major had taken a bite of it. “Oh, what now?”
Blueblood galloped back to the ballroom and skidded to a halt. The dream-party guests had vanished, and a whole wall had been torn out, flooding the room with moonlight. Blueblood tried to shield himself with his hooves, but dream or not, he couldn’t stop himself from growing into the huge white wolf again, tearing his way free of yet another set of expensive pony-sized clothes.
Mocking laughter echoed through the shattered hall. A mare stood before him, where nopony had been a moment before, so shrouded in her cloak and mask that he could make out none of her features. For some reason, a scroll hovered beside her, with an animated feather quill constantly writing. “There are you,” she purred. “Wolfpony!”
Blueblood sighed in a great huff. “Auntie Luna?” his voice growled. “Whatever I did, I’m most regretfully sorry, so if you could see your way to getting me out of this dream... sometime soon?”
“You should be sorry!” said the mystery mare. “Luna favors me this night, not you. How dare you masquerade as one of MY wolfponies?”
Blueblood rubbed his forehead with a paw, feeling a headache coming on. “And you are…”
She drew herself up, leathery wings spread. “I? I am Lady Midnight Heart, the Nightpony Queen!” She leveled a hoof at him. “And you’ve taken something that doesn’t belong to you!”
“Midnight Heart?” He chuckled. “Seriously? That Midnight… THE Midnight Heart? Of course, why not!? However, I believe you’ll find that I was given this form by a literal Act of Discord, so good luck getting it back now, even if I wanted to give it up.. Which I don’t! So there.” He folded his forepaws and turned his head, snorting.
A flare of stolen magic forced him to look at her, and even bow, which got Blueblood snarling.
“Discord or not,” declared Midnight Heart, “none will wear the form of one of my creations unless I deem them worthy!” She laughed again, and thunder crashed for good measure.
“Oh goody,” said Blueblood dryly. “A test of my worthiness. Well, go on, let’s get this over with. I have a lot of nice, boring tax legislation to dream about. What’s it going to be? Death by tedious overwrought romantic triangle?”
Midnight Heart trotted closer, glaring up at him nose to nose. “So insolent, even when your future is in my hooves. Hah! Perhaps you do have a wolfpony’s spirit! You shall have a trial by combat.”
She gestured imperiously, and a vaguely familiar orange earth pony appeared. “Ya’ll called mah family’s apple pies ‘common carnival fare.’ Prepare to die.”
Blueblood the wolf blinked at dream-Applejack. “Oh. That doesn’t seem so bad.”
Midnight Heart stroked her chin. “I agree. Let’s infuse her with kirin blood to make it more interesting.” Mists rose, then cleared away, revealing a wagon-sized orange and gold dragon with scales like polished brass.
“You’ve got to be… ahh!!” Blueblood sprang aside, dodging fiery breath that smelled of baked apples. “So sorry, miss, but I believe I need to be elsewhere… urgently!” He waved a paw, wiggling his toes griffon-style, then turned tail and raced away into the castle corridors.
Windy Whisper grinned behind her mask, then pointed, and the kirin went tearing through the dream after him. “I suppose I'll have to credit him for helping me with this writer's block. Ah well!”
Session 58.16 Grogar-the-oneser (continued from 58.2 )
"According to this note from the crystal empire, they got the idiots from garble group and apparently the ring leader been turn to a toy." Barry (The dragon who wanted the pillow) reported to the dragon lord.
https://www.derpibooru.org/1238082?q=barry
"Any idiot to forget that the ponies are currently our allies, and even forget that theirs a reason why pony consider alicorn to be powerful, deserve what they get." Ember said "But, I'm not a complete jerk, Prominence tell them I'm willing to discuss their terms of release in the form of a game night." Ember said of her fellow dragoness.
https://www.derpibooru.org/1294871?q=prominence
"Yes mam." The female dragon nodded.
Session 58.17 BrutalityInc
Never let it be said that Trixie couldn't be an effective tactician and strategist when she needed to be, and a VERY unconventional one at that.
Of course, she isn't as infallible and clever as others thought her to be, or she herself imagine as in her pride; if one wishes to see her limits, one just need to look at all the times her schemes had spectacularly backfired in the games, or her inability to implement anything clever during the crisis with Chrysalis.
That said, when given enough time and materials to work with - and she didn't need that much of either - she can be a terrifying foe to face, as she readily and easily outwit her opponents with spectacularly cunning stratagems, power-plays and loophole abuses.
Case in point: this current game of O&O.
"Great going, Trixie!" Starlight Glimmer lamented, "Our last raid had not only failed to net any major advantage for our rebel army, we even managed to let slip to Twilight of our plan to attack the city!"
Indeed, it had appear to be a disaster, for all intents and purposes, both in-game and on a meta level. Accidentally leaving one's planning notes for the GM to find even when leaving in a huff of frustration are one of those mistakes that shouldn't be committed, even by a newb.
"Well, Trix-girl, it seems for all your vaunted cunning, you can be quite reckless at times." Discord playfully admonished, coiled up around her seat. "Yet another beautiful plan had been ruined, all thanks to the careless and cankering Trixie!"
"Trixie would like to think of it as audacity, but Trixie concede to your point." Trixie replied. Of course, Trixie knows the chaos serpent had already guessed that there is a deeper level of play when it comes to her, but is letting her do the reveal. "That said, this wouldn't hinder us at all as we set out to liberate that city."
"But Trixie, now that they know of our plans...!" Starlight began, but was interrupted.
"Worry not, Starlight, my dear: for that IS the plan!" Trixie revealed, with her typical dramatic flair, "For now that they know our plans, they shall plan around our plans; all we have to do in turn is plan around the plans that they're planning around our plans!"
There was a moment of stunned silence around the table.
"What." Starlight finally managed.
"Wait... that actually makes a lot of sense!"
Everypony except Trixie turned to Thorax, looking confused. He explained; "I mean, think about it. We know even before the raid that the city's defences are pretty much impregnable, between the walls, the garrison and Princess Twilight covering all possible weak points. That our probing raid failed all but confirmed that, but I don't think that was the intent all along, wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't." Trixie confirmed.
"They know our plans now, but even she doesn't have infinite resources to react accordingly AND keep her original defence plan in place. And since our attack is seemingly imminent with the raid, she'll have to prioritise, adjust in a hurry..." Thorax finished with widening eyes as he realise the full ramifications of Trixie's stratagem, "Leaving holes in her defences."
"And not only that." Discord grinned, suddenly realising it too, "Given how meticulously the whole plan was constructed, Sparkleflank would have to react only in a certain way, which we will know, leaving her completely unable to act against any unforeseen circumstances!"
"Wait, are you telling me, the entire raid had been a showy, deliberate intelligence leak?" Starlight exclaimed, finally understanding what Trixie is planning, "All so we can restrict her response to the way we WANT her to response, and create weak points where none previously exist?"
Trixie nodded, grinning smugly. Discord, meanwhile, coiled up himself as he guffawed, "Brilliance truly knows no bounds! " He declared.
"Trixie is surprised Thorax saw through it faster than the others did." Trixie remarked, turning to the young changeling monarch, "However did you do it?"
Thorax shrugged, "It seems one of the boons of becoming a royal changeling is that you become a lot smarter than the average changeling, besides the power boost. I mean, after my transformation, my mind has been a lot clearer, and I can read a lot more into things…”
Trixie nodded in understanding, “Well then, my dear fellow, let’s put that improved acuity into good use, because I’m about to explain the REAL plan…”
= = =
Twilight Sparkle, Oubliette Overseer, grimly watched as Trixie’s stratagem unfolded.
She admitted that it was un-sports-pony like for her to use the plan Trixie left behind to coordinate her defences of the city that the rebels are attempting to liberate. She had convinced herself, of course, that it was the duty as the game master to ensure that the players are confronted with an appropriate level of challenge, and to prevent any spectacular derailments. With Trixie’s habit to deviously outsmart her opponents on one day and causing disastrous game outcomes on another, she wasn’t willing to take any chances.
From the looks of things, though, she had fallen right into Trixie’s trap.
Roleplaying the commanders of the city’s garrison, she had shifted troops to ambush rebel forces that was supposed to come in through the sewers – only for rebels to sneak in an advanced force right through the abandoned aqueducts instead. She has had the garrison on high alert and up in the battlements in preparation for the rebels’ main attack – but the rebels, saboteurs under command of Discord’s character, used the opportunity to set fire to the now mostly empty and thinly guarded barracks, causing a blaze that is quickly spreading and tying up many precious troops trying to put out. She went on to prevent the incoming assassination attempt on her garrison officers by having them placed together in a secured location – only for rebel infiltrators under command of Thorax’s character to destroy the bridge between the tower where they are located at and the city’s main fortress keep, effectively severing command and control without even a high commander dead.
It was during that moment of panic and chaos now gripping the city that the main assault came. Although the city garrison outnumbered the rebel army by a third, she found her forces quickly stretched thin by the first wave of attacks, consisting of small forces attacking the city from multiple vectors at once, like multiple heads of a hydra, instead of a concentrated blow from the main gate that Trixie’s ‘plan’ would have it opened. Even amidst the chaos and confusion, all of them were small enough to contain, but Twilight still couldn’t risk ignoring them – if anything, they seem to serve little more than distraction and probing strikes rather than any determined intrusions.
Twilight’s mages would become significant force magnifiers, since Twilight knew what spells the rebels are intending to use for their assault from Trixie’s ‘plan’. Of course, the rebels decided to use COMPLETELY different spells instead, leaving the mages completely blindsided and most of them quickly beaten by their rebel counterparts, led by Starlight Glimmers’ character. Without much of their mages out of commission and their forces stretched and tied up across the long stretches of city battlements, it left them vulnerable to be destroyed piecemeal by the bounded elementals and demons the warlocks among the rebel mages had summoned.
The climax came when Trixie saw a weak point in a position one of her first wave groups are attacking, and threw the entirety of the second wave, consisting of the second half of the rebel army, against it to exploit the breach. Needless to say, with everything that is going on, the defenders there are quickly being overwhelmed, and the rebels are on the verge of breaching the walls and storming the city itself, which would all but guarantee the rebels’ victory in this battle.
Of course, just to top it all off, Trixie had brought with her a trump card to ensure that breach, an advantage that Twilight’s forces sorely lacked…
“Zeppelins!” Twilight said, disbelieving, even as said contraptions bombarded her defenders’ position with blastpowder bombs and alchemist fire canisters in support of the rebel infantry attack “How in Celestia’s mane did you managed to get three cobbled airships together for this attack?”
Trixie shrugged, “Well, it was JUST within the capabilities of the ponies at the setting’s level of development to pull such a feat, and we ran the rolls with Spike just to make sure we get them right.”
“Besides, you never said that we COULDN’T built airships during this campaign…” Discord noted with his own wry grin.
Twilight looked back at Trixie with incredulous eyes, wondering how she managed to pull it all off, and Trixie merely leaned back on her seat with a smile. A magician never reveals her secrets; this is something that Twilight have to figure out, eventually.
Until then, she’s just going sit back and enjoy this upcoming victory...
Session 58.18 Alex Warlorn
(This chapter is not intended as a take that. It is intended as a way to write out the undead pony nation. Which I've always felt was a bad fit for the narrative, it would have worked wonderfully as an independent story, but I feel it was distracting from the 'Table Top RPG' theme of this story. I've talked this over with Devcon already, and he's conceded to let them be written out. As editor-in-chief of this story, I exercise my right to say the undead pony nation just doesn't fit. )
There is a knock on Twilight's door, she opens it to find a glowing alien Alicorn Princess. Wait, Twilight recognized her from that trashy dime-store foals' 'science' fiction book. Princes Dazzleglow.
Princess Dazzleglow proceeds to slap Twilight Sparkle with her wing. Rip in two a 'first contact' paper. She then trotted in a huff back into her flying saucer, and zips away to the distant stars.
"I have to be dreaming!" Twilight Sparkle declared. "Where's Guard Flash Sentry and Student Flash Sentry to cheer me up?"
"It's okay dear." Said Twilight Velvet stepping besides her daughter with a big smile smile and large dilated eyes. "I might not be the secret author of Daring Do as you kept hoping. But I am actually an alien queen and ruler of an entire galaxy."
"Okay, thanks mom, and- WHAT?!"
"And now it's time to add this planet under our imperial protection, don't worry dear, you'll be viceroy of the entire planet. Well, we'll let Shining keep the Crystal Empire." Her mother pushed an invisible button on her chest, causing antenna to appear on her head followed by crystal wings, dressed in a huge collared dressed with flashing lights on them.
At the same time, silvery flying saucers covered the sky.
"NO!" Shouted Starlight Glimmer's mother. "If our treaties forbid any zombie apocalypses then there should be no alien invasions either!"
"Where were you when Chrysalis invaded?" Kevin asked but he was ignored.
"Or Garble wanted us dragons to go all Reign of Fire on Equestria?" Said Spike who was also ignored.
"Do cults taking over count?" Said Button with the flower trio, and again was ignored by the two bigger and more powerful parties.
"We were here first!" Shouted the undead nation ponies.
"No we were!" Shouted the alien ponies in their space ships.
"No we were!"
"We were!"
The space ships and the various undead ponies and other creatures of the domain that had apparently popped into being began blasting each other, space ships vaporizing undead as the undead tore the space ships from the sky. Ponyville's normal inhabitants ran around screaming.
Twilight Sparkle looked at this and said, "Princess Luna? I'm ready to wake up now."
-
Underneath the surface of earth, and behind several layers of blast doors that had been thankfully installed by the ever concerned Pinkie Pie, the mane six sat in Maud Pie's cavern. Along with Spike, Starlight, and Trixie (who had gotten in after getting her cape caught on the blast doors as they were closing, until Starlight reminded Trixie she could teleport now, which resulted in a rather satisfied smirk from Twilight Sparkle before the surprise at Trixie's feat).
"So... what do we do now?" Fluttershy asked.
"We stay here." Maud Pie said.
"Don't worry! I've got board games and table top RPGs stored here for board games and Table top RPGs emergencies!" Pinkie Pie pulled out the time-wasting supplies.
"So how long do we stay down here darling? I'm worried about Sweetie Belle." Rarity said.
"Until the aliens and the undead nation all destroy each other and Equestria is back to normal. Or they destroy the universe, and the gods reset everything." Maud Pie said with a straight face.
"Oh my, Discord hate it whenever he has to do that, 'So much work!'," Fluttershy said, her friends looked at her. "Um! Never mind!"
-
"Zombies Verses Aliens? Who writes this bunk?" Aria Blaze asked, looking at the unholy glowing core rule book written by human Sombra's mother.
Adagio laughed. "Who cares?! We may have lost our power before! But thanks to this cursed book, and everypony becoming obsessed with games in Equestria, we've reached the point where we can turn all of Equestria into one big War table top RPG! More than that! One big MMO augmented reality war table top RPG! And you know what that means girls! Toxicity! Beautiful! Wonderful, toxicity! Ponies being vicious and vile to each other, telling each other to commit suicide, using language that would make sailors faint! We'll be restored to our true power in no time at all!"
"Oh... I thought we were gonna have fun," said Sonoata Dusk, dressed up as a space marine from the human Rabia's incredibly popular table top sci-fi/fantasy war game that she had originally built her entire company on before Rabia had gone completely over the deep end.
"We can't sing, but we can still compose... " Aria smirked in understanding, for once actually admiring her big sister's cunning. "And we've now composed a whole new song for reality."
"President Sombra hated EVERYTHING about his mother. So he tried to bury his mother's greatest creation. Too bad what's buried finds roots and tends to sprout! And with the human world's wild magic spreading like the flu, haha! It just needed somepony to herd it in a certain direction!" Adagio ignored them. "This is great! The changelings, SMILE, dragons, the Princesses, Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, may have suspected something, but it had to be somepony 'worthy of them' behind it all! Some great oversized cosmic being! They bought into their own propaganda! And now it's too late! The game is ours!"
Session 58.19 Devcon101 (with edits)
Fluttershy took a look at the clock in her house. It was five minutes past their normal tea /game time. Where was Discord? Maybe she should have invited him to that huge sleep over they had in Maud Pie's cave yesterday.
Speak of the devil, or in this case, think of the devil, for the draconnequus appeared in a snap sound and a flash of light, wearing a suit and tie and looking somewhat exhausted.
“Wow honey, what a day at the office!” he said, snapping his claw as the suit disappeared.
“Sorry I’m late. Celly, Lulu, Tiamat, poor Thorax, Ponythulhu and I had to fix this dimension. Again.” He floated down into his seat, and with another snap, two cups of tea appeared for him and Fluttershy. Fluttershy gave a sympathetic look.
“Oh my, I’m sorry. What happened this time?”
Discord sighed with irritation, as in the middle of the table two small tripods – one red, one black – appeared spontaneously. Out from behind Discords tea cup ran a tiny version of him in a space suit, heading beneath the tripods. Beneath each, a hole opened, and from them tiny versions of the cards of a standard deck, coming from the black or red tripod depending on their color, with arms and legs crawled out, climbing down the tripods legs. The mini discord blew a whistle (somehow) and they all gathered into two separate groups. It then began to grab the cards and lob them in front of Fluttershy and Discord, each card loosing its arms and legs and growing to the size of a normal card upon landing. An odd way of dealing cards for sure, but then again, we are talking about the lord of chaos.
“Adagio and her little sisters got their hands on a book they powered up with untapped magic of the human world to make it alter this world and caused an alien vs undead war. Then the other species joined in and it ended up in a huge mess! Everything should be repaired now.” He summoned a small telescope and looked into it, somehow viewing what he wanted to see through it. “Twilight’s mom is back to normal...”
-
Twilight Velvet combed her hair before a mirror, only for a small antennae to pop out, causing her to let out a yelp in surprise and fear and fainted.
-
“...mostly. Lulu will take care of that I'm sure.” He gave a slight chuckle as an extra disembodied paw and claw grabbed his cards. He turned a knob on the side of the telescope, changing the image in the telescope to reveal the empty expanse of space around Equus.
“The aliens are now once again merely fictional, I think.” He turned it a few more times to reveal different key Equestrian sites, once ravaged by war now completely fine again. “The war never happened. And...” Another turn, revealing an empty expanse of land.
Discord continued.
“The reality layer of the undead kingdom was ported to another, more fitting universe with their minds wiped of this one, and Starlight Glimmer's parents were back to normal.” He pressed down on the two ends of the telescope, compressing it into a flat disk. He rolled this disk into a ball as if it were clay, and the ball turned into one of his eyes. Said corresponding eye rolled back like a ball into his head, and he inserted the new eye in its place.
Fluttershy sipped her tea, giving a slight concerned look.
“But what about the sirens?” Discord gave a slight chuckle as he pushed his hands into the disembodied pair as if they were gloves.
“Oh, epic battle between the forces of good and evil between the Shadow Bolts ponying up for the first time to help save the day along with a ponied-up baby human Flurry Heart, and Sunset Shimmer and her human friends on one side. And Umbrum-uped human Rabia and the sirens powered up again to new heights on the other. Now human Rabia's back in jail, and since there is no law against black magic in the human world, the sirens are back to working at Crystal Soft for now.” He chuckled, looking at his cards as his cup sprouted bat wings and flew up to his mouth, allowing him to take a sip.
Fluttershy only understood a little of that, but just nodded.
“Now then, got any kings?”
Session 58.20 Zaku789 (with edits)
"Look I get it, Fluttershy gave you what seem a somewhat unreasonable demand, but really going behind her back and treated her advise as stupid was a jerk move." Twilight said to Hardhat.
"I mean honestly darling i know were still respective expert on our own fields but Fluttershy is still a expert at her, she tried her hardest to respect yours even after ignoring her advice, which admittedly is impressive since i would have been a bit meaner." Rarity muttered to Dandy.
"Don't get me wrong, I don't think you conned your way into your position, but you could have reached a consensus with Fluttershy with fencing or pits to keep the animal separated." Applejack said to Wrangler. "But just cause you're an expert on one thing, you're not an expert at everything. Why do you think Ponyville has two different veterinarian, they're experts to animals but in different ways, but do they belittle each other cause of it, NO! Both Fluttershy and Doctor Fauna work together and treat the other opinion with proper respect like what you guys should have done with Fluttershy instead of treating it like trash."
"That's why, while we won't badmouth you, we still think you have to make it up to Fluttershy," all three said at the same time.
"So were just have to game night with this guy for one month." Hard Hat said, "That seems... simple."
"Yes, it is odd... who was he again?" Dandy asked.
"Apparently that fluttershy brother... Zephyr something." Wrangler said.
-
Meanwhile, as Applejack talked about why Fluttershy and Dr. Fauna were both needed for Ponyville in spite of both being experts at animals, on the rooftop of Ponyville Town Hall in the dark of the night, Kunoichi Maternity Love Tap and Agent Sweetie Drops faced down each other, weapons drawn.
"Ponyville only needs ONE hidden protector!"
"I agree!" They charged at each other.
And the next morning,
"Mommy, why are you covered in cuts and bruises again?" Button Mash and Tootsie Flute both asked Maternity and Bon Bon at their respective breakfast tables at their homes.
"It's nothing honey, eat your breakfast." They both told their foal, both having to take care of their injuries themselves least the doctors think their spouse was abusing them or something.
Session 58.21 Alex Warlorn
"Your Majesty, what's that?" Locust pointed.
Chrysalis sat on her moth eaten 'royal bed', and used a remote to click through different channels. "It's an 'alternate moral of the story' TV, I got it from Discord at our last poker game."
"Didn't you cheat at that game Your Majesty?"
"Cheating is what it's called only if you get caught."
"What does it do Your Majesty?"
"It shows events in other universe, where the 'moral of the week' those absurd ponies go through happen but a different, opposite lesson is taught. For instance."
Chrysalis clicked on the screen, this one showing an evil witch Zecora who had lured Apple Bloom into the danger of the Everfree Forest. "Instead of 'never judging a book by its cover', instead 'beware trusting strangers.' "
She clicked again. This time it showed the wedding, Cadence running away in tears, and the ponies all siding with Twilight... only for it to turn out Cadence WAS acting the way she did purely from wedding stress of having to manage the entire wedding by herself with no help. "And a aesope of jumping to conclusions before getting all the facts straight." Chrysalis frowned when Cadence DIDN'T call off her wedding with Shining Armor and the ponies all ultimately forgave each other.
Snorting, she clicked the screen again, this time with a fancy 'picture in picture' option.
One picture showed Rarity getting the dresses for her friends made for the Grand Galloping Gala, but ignoring EVERYTHING her friends said, leaving the girls with dresses that didn't match their tastes at all. They had some harsh words for her. And Rarity just walked off camera with her nose in the air indignant.
And the other had Fluttershy with Hard Hat, Wrangler, and Dandy Grandeur... micromanaging EVERYTHING for her animal sanctuary, to the point that no work was getting done, and what work had been done, was rendered useless as they had to redo over and over to keep up with Fluttershy's vague yet picky changing demands.
"And here we have when two 'morals of the story' switched places. But why can't I find the one where the moral is 'it's better for livestock to bow down to the superior changeling race?'"
Session 58.22 Alex Warlorn
Starlight Glimmer behind the Oubliette Overseer screen wailed, "Nooo!" in an imitation of a stallion's voice.
"Well, so much for Marvin the Mind Controller!" Rainbow Dash said with a grin. Maybe she had enjoyed beating up the enemy too much.
"And one, two, three," Twilight said, "My character should undo the enchantments on all these innocent bulls and yaks working his flower garden!"
In a beefy voice Starlight said, "'I, Globdoom The Merciless, thank you for freeing me and my Hoard of Destruction from Prison Warden Marvin's magic! In thanks, you have the honor of being the first I shall behead in my renew glorious Campaign of Blood!'"
AJ's eyes narrowed.
Fluttershy's jaw dropped. "But-but, little Timmy said you were all orphans!"
"'We believe in burning away the past. Little Baby Eating Timmy didn't lie.'"
"I knew this was a bad idea," Spike said, reading his comics.
"Then why didn't ya say nothin'?!"
"Yes Spikey-Wikey why?"
"Felt unsportsdrakelike since I was the one who loaned Starlight those 'Radiance Meets The Indigo Herd' comics."