A new day dawns, with the sun rising over the perfectly square, fine marble white, twenty four by twenty four tile arena for the Cell Games, presented by Hetap. Standing perfect centre in the middle of the arena was the big green host of the eponymous games, sleeping on his feet, with his arms crossed. As soon as the light from the rising sun hit his face, his eyes opened and he smiled.
“Well, here we are.” Cell began. “Another day gone and another day closer to the Cell Games… presented by Hetap,” he quickly added. “Hmm, I wonder, who will be the unwanted interruption today?”
“Hey, there he is!” Someone called out from behind him.
“Ah, right on schedule,” Cell said, turning his head around to see who it was. Behind him, standing at the edge of the arena were six teenage girls, all of them with different colour skin tones, ranging from yellow to pink. Cell simply stared at his new challengers for a moment with a straight face. “Meh, not the strangest challengers I’ve had yet,” he said to himself before then turning around completely. “So then, who do I have the pleasure of facing today… before the games have actually started I might add?!” He then yelled at them.
“Cell,” the orange skinned girl with the bacon coloured hair began, stepping forward, coming to a stop just ten feet from the green android bug monster. “My name is Sunset Shimmer and we are the Rainbooms. We saw your announcement and we’re not going to allow you to continue to your reign of terror.” Sunset spoke resolutely, but Cell simply grinned smugly in response as she did so. “So, are you another creature from Equestria?”
“I come from a lot of places, but that’s not one of them,” Cell responded casually.
Sunset made a face for a moment, but continued speaking. “Well, either way, we can’t allow you to wreak havoc on this world. We’re not going to let you continue your fiendish ways, so we’re here to defeat you and save the world from your tyranny.”
“And get a life-time supply of Hetap.” The rainbow haired girl behind her chimed in.
“Y-yes, that too,” Sunset added in, a bit awkwardly.
“I see,” Cell began. “You know, after hearing so many of these heroic-type speeches, they really start to blend together.” He then placed his hands on his hips and looked off to the side a bit. “Maybe I should start keeping a list of how many times I’ve heard certain lines. I don’t know, just feels natural.”
“You are powerless, Cell,” Sunset exclaimed.
“No, I’m the opposite of that,” he countered.
“We’re not going to let you continue your fiendish ways.”
“You already said that, but continue.”
“With the power of our friendship, we will defeat you right here and now.” Sunset spoke strongly.
“Power of friendship?” Cell said sarcastically. “Oh great, you’re one of those kind of heroes. And just how exactly are you going to use said ‘Power of Friendship’ to defeat me? Channel it into a Spirit Sword? Energy cannon? You gonna impale me with your friendship, but not have any blood so that you can keep it PG?
“Our magic manifests when we play our music and we show our true selves,” Sunset answered him.
“Magical musical instruments, huh? Again, not the weirdest thing I’ve seen lately,” he said, his eyes looking off to the side just a little as he spoke.
“With them we’ll beat you and make you see the error of ways and change for the better.”
“Oh, so you’re gonna brainwash me into being whatever you want me to be?” now looking at them full on again. “That’s pretty dark when you think about it.”
“Wh-what?” Sunset stuttered. “N-no, that’s not what we…”
“Also, this tournament is supposed to be one-on-one, but I suppose I can allow group matches.” Cell cut her off.
Sunset was about to retort, but instead she simply sighed. “Alright then, let’s do it, girls!” She called out. With that, the seven girls present each pulled out there musical instruments and started playing.
“Wait, where did those instruments come from?” Cell asked, genuinely curious, but as soon as they started playing, they started glowing. They then started rising into the air, their hair started growing longer at the end, almost resembling tails, and they sprouted pony ears. All the while, their energy continued to build up.
“Magical girls!” Cell suddenly shouted out. “That’s what they remind me o…”
The girls then shot a huge rainbow coloured energy blast down at Cell before he could finish speaking, engulfing the entire arena in an impossibly bright white light. After the blast was fired, the seven girls were lowered back down to the ground again, their glowing auras and extra features disappearing as they were. Looking over at where the green android had been standing a moment ago, now there was only a large scorch mark.
“Yes, we got him.” Rainbow shouted out in triumph, pumping her fist in the air.
“Not quite.”
“W-what?” Rainbow stuttered. Looking off to the side, she saw Cell standing there, completely unfazed.
“Hey, there.”
“How did you do that?” Rainbow blurted out.
“Simple, I dodged.” Cell answered… simply.
“You… dodged?” Rainbow stuttered.
“Yes, I dodged.” Cell clarified. “As in, I moved out of the way of your attack so that it wouldn’t hit me. Seriously, I know Gohan struggles with it, but it’s really not that difficult a concept to grasp.”
“You can’t do that.” Rainbow argued.
“Yeah, actually I can,” Cell countered, with a smug smile on his face as he did so. “What, did your entire plan hinge on me just standing here and letting you beat me?”
“N-no.” Rainbow stuttered nervously.
“Sure thing, Pride Parade. But seeing as how this is a tournament, it’s only right that I make this fair. So, since I’m allowed to dodge your attacks, you’re allowed to dodge my attacks, okay?”
“Well, okay, I guess,” Rainbow started, scratching at the back of her head awkwardly. “But I…” However she was cut off as Cell suddenly appeared in front of her in the blink of an eye and sent her flying with a single punch.
The other five girls stood there with their mouths agape.
“What? I said that you could dodge. I didn’t say I wouldn’t try to hit you.”
“How dare you?” The yellow skinned, pink haired girl uttered in an eerily quiet tone of voice, while clenching her shaking fists and looking down at the ground in front of her.
“How dare I?” Cell asked back, turning towards her.
“How. Dare. You!” She suddenly yelled out.
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“W-what?” Cell uttered, stupefied. “I… I don’t understand. What is she doing? What’s going on right now?
“She’s using the stare on you.” the pink girl clarified.
“She’s staring at me?”
“No, she’s using the stare on you,” Pinkie clarified again… harder.
While this dialogue was going on, the other girl continued simply staring at Cell, apparently expecting that alone to somehow be effective against him.
“Okay, this is just starting to get weird.” Again, in the blink of an eye, Cell was right in front of Fluttershy, and with a single punch, sent her flying over the horizon, in the opposite direction to Rainbow Dash. “Okay then,” he continued, now in a chipper mood once again. “Two down, four more to go. Geez, at this rate you should just start calling me ‘One Punch Cell’. No, no, wait: Mister Perfect One Punch Cell. Yeah, that’s it.”
While the Rainbooms were once again left speechless at how easily this guy had defeated another of their group, Pinkie was the one to speak up. “You really shouldn’t have done that.”
“Oh, and why not?” Cell asked, turning his head towards her.
Suddenly, the ground beneath them started shaking, which actually seemed to catch Cell off guard. Looking over, he saw a big dust cloud in the distance, being caused by an enormous stampede. Looking closely at what was causing it, he saw that it seemed to be comprised of mostly adult males, screaming things like, “You hurt Fluttershy!”
Seeing them coming, Cell simply wore a carefree smile on his face. “Oh no, whatever shall I do about this?” He spoke in an obviously sarcastic tone. “Oh, wait.” Raising his right hand, with just his index finger extended, he quickly whipped it to the side. The next moment, the stampeding horde was replaced by a big explosion, leaving no trace of anyone involved. “That. I can do that.” He said with a sadistic smile.
After witnessing how easily this guy dealt with two of their friends and a huge crowd of rampaging Bronies, Applejack leaned in closer to Sunset, tugging at her shirt to get her attention. “So, uhhh… strategic withdrawal for now? She said with a nervous smile on her face.
“Uh… yeah. That’s probably a good idea for now,” she stammered out. “A-after all, our magic only works when we’re all together, so we should at least go and pick up Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy.” She said hastily, trying to rationalise her decision. The four remaining Rainbooms then began backing away, making their way off the stage.
“Yeah, I think it’s probably best if we just do the smart thing and wait for Goku.” Pinkie chimed in as they were leaving.
“Finally, someone smart enough to do the obvious thing.” Cell said to himself as they were leaving. He was now once again all by himself in his arena. “Still though, these challengers just keep getting weirder. What’s next? Another me?” That thought caused him to laugh out loud. “Haha, yeah right, like that’ll work.”