//------------------------------//
// Fluttershy Leans In 
// Story: A Dream 
// by totallynotabrony 
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	I stood on the beach in front of a torch and pitchfork mob.  They weren’t there for me.  They’d chased Maud Pie there because they thought she was a serial killer.  In the scuffle, Rarity had ended up dissolving in the ocean.  
I was highly displeased.
At least the mob had the good graces to look kind of uncomfortable and were starting to disperse.
“Call for you, Valiant,” said Tin Mare.
I tapped my earpiece.  “Put it through.”
Wachowski’s voice hit me in the ear.  “Why did you just put three hundred names on the naughty list?”
“They tried to lynch an innocent pony but ended up killing a bystander.  Go ahead, criticize me for that, I dare you.”
“Well, one, they didn’t end up completing the lynching, and two, nobody died.”
“They didn’t complete the lynching because their target escaped, not because they had a change of heart.  Also, Rarity dissolved right in front of my eyes.”
“Up here, we go by results.  Ponies attempting lynching of who they thought was a murderer is not exactly on the same scale as human racial wars.  Also, I’m still showing Rarity as alive.”
I turned and glanced at the ocean.  Could it be?
“I’m going to have to get back to you,” I said.
“I’ll take these names off.”
“You will not! This is still unacceptable behavior on their part!  I’m doing my best to teach them all a lesson here.  I could have literally executed them all.  You know I could.  Tin Mare would have gladly helped.  She doesn’t give a shit.”
“Hella.”
“You’re still going to have to get authorization for this many names in one go,” said Wachowski.
“So authorize it.”
“Like I would do that just on your word.”
I cut the call.  Wachowski needed to be taken down a peg.  Soon.
In the meantime, I turned back to the ocean.  “Um, Rarity?”
Was it my imagination or did the small waves on the beach lap up slightly higher for a moment?
“Er, don’t go anywhere.”  That sounded stupid when I said it.  “I’ll go get help.  Twilight will know what to do.”
Tin Mare took me back to Ponyville and we quickly found Twilight.  She didn’t take my explanation of the issue well, but at least she wasn’t mad at me.  Tin Mare gave her a ride back to the ocean.
That done, I decided to stop at the pub for a drink.
The Half Pint was run by Guinness and his griffon business partner, Squibles.  I came in and Coloratura put a beer down in front of me.
No, not that Coloratura, her sister who looked a lot like her and whose name I’d subsequently decided not to learn.  Apparently she worked here now.
While I sat there, Fluttershy came in with the other girls behind her.  “We’re going to the back,” Fluttershy said, indicating the private room at the back of the pub that had been modified into a command center that the girls used occasionally.
“Are you coming, Valiant?” Fluttershy said.
I shrugged and picked up my glass.  “Okay.”
In the back room, Fluttershy told us why she had called the meeting.  “The Ponyville vet clinic is full.”
“Wait, vet clinic?  How do you have a lot of vets if you barely have a military?”
Everyone stared at me.  “Veterinarian,” Fluttershy clarified.
“Ohhhh.”
Fluttershy went on.  “The animals need somewhere to go, and I’ve decided that it’s time to build a dream of mine: an animal sanctuary.”
Her friends were all in agreement.  Applejack said, “I know a filly who'd be more knowledgeable than I would. She's a friend of mine from Winona's sheep herding competitions, Wrangler.  She's an expert in animal enclosures.”
“I know somepony, too,” said Pinkie.  “Hard Hat is the best construction pony in Ponyville.  He can build anything you could ever, ever want.”
“Or,” I said, “An animal sanctuary doesn’t sound difficult.  Applejack could just lend a few meat puppets and I could give you Tin Mare.  Combined with the slaves that are still yours to command, it would be fast and free.”
“That does sound good,” said Fluttershy.
That decided, shit got done in an afternoon.  I love it when a plan comes together.  Daisy, Lily, and Rose, who were enthralled to Fluttershy for reasons that aren’t really important anymore, helped out a lot and were happy to do so.  
Twilight returned that evening.  “I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, I managed to communicate with Rarity.  The bad news is...well, she’s the ocean.”
“Is the ocean?” I clarified.
“Right,” Twilight confirmed.  “I can’t really tell where she ends and it begins, and I’m not sure she can either.  Trying to separate her from all that water is going to be a challenge.”
“What about distillation, like we did last time?” I said.
“That was much less water,” said Twilight.  “We can’t exactly distill the whole ocean, particularly because it contains much more salt than just Rarity.”
“What about, I don’t know, gelatin or something?”
“Are you seriously suggesting we turn the whole ocean into jello?”
“Why not?”
Twilight sighed, shook her head, and walked away.
I spent the rest of the evening polishing my snowglobe collection.  I was up to four now.

The next morning, I filed some paperwork.  It was an appeal to keep the names of the lynch mob on the naughty list.  I addressed it to Mr. S. Claus of the North Pole.  I sent it registered, requiring a signature from the man himself, so I could be sure it would be directly delivered without going through his secretary.
Derpy was happy to take the letter.  I didn’t ask how she was going to get it to Santa, in a different dimension, and I probably didn’t want to know.
After that, I went down to the mobile farmers’ market installed on a train.  I got some grapes.  They sure did seem to have a lot of them.
Fortified with grape tequila, I went to the pub and called a meeting.
When the room was filled, I stood up at the front and addressed them all.  “I’ve been thinking about new ways to be cool and bring a little brightness to people’s days.  I’ve decided that music would be one way to do that.  Of course, there’s a long way to the top if you want to rock n’ roll, but we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.”
“Don’t you mean cross that bridge when you come to it?” said Twilight.
“Do I?” I shook my head in a what a nerd gesture.  “Anyway, we’ll be a great band.  We’re going to blow minds.  We’re going to drink fire and spit moonshine.”
“Don’t you mean-”
“What, Twilight?  What do I mean?”
I shook my head and turned back to the group.  “Anyway, the point is, I’d like to announce that I’m getting the band back together again.  Again.”
Twilight, Rainbow, Applejack, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Guinness, Sunset, Cordoba, Trixie, Daring, Sir Win, Coloratura, Coloratura, Cracker, and the mare wearing sunglasses all seemed interested.  Well, at least until I told them I was going to hold tryouts.
Trixie was a top drummer, especially when shifted into her eight-legged form.  Guinness could play the bass.  Of course, I was lead guitarist.  That didn’t mean we couldn’t add a few new members, of course.
Most of the girls didn't want to have anything to do with it.  Daring was too busy.  Cordoba only wanted to do electronic.  Cracker, actually being Celestia, wasn't going to do anything requiring actual work.
The mare wearing sunglasses turned out to be pretty good at guitar.  She should be, it was Maud in disguise.  I’d have to work out a stage name for her if we were going to play in Ponyville.
I wanted Coloratura - no not her, her sister - to audition for singer, but she apparently had better things to do than be in a garage band.
Well, we weren’t really a garage band because that would require a garage, but you get the idea.
We held our first practice that afternoon.  I immediately noticed a problem.
“Maud, come on, keep up.  It’s only speed metal.”
“I told you; I only know rock.”
I rolled my eyes and let out an extended sigh.  “Metal is a kind of ore, right?  Does that help?”
“It depends on the ore.  It all comes from different types of rock.”
“What about that rock you told me about that you could use to rule all of Equestria?”
“No, that one is rather crystalline.”
“Guys, we’re getting off topic,” said Guinness.  “Why can’t we do a few classics?”
That reminded me.  If this whole Santa Claus thing didn’t work out, I was going to try selling my soul to the Beatles next.
After practice, I walked back to my place.  Cordoba was out front, crouching next to a dead body and poking it with her cutlass.
“Did you do that?” I asked.
“Nope.  I think it was the serial killer dumping another one on our doorstep.”
I let out an exasperated sigh.
A dark shape came out of the shadows.  It was a pony wearing a black cape and a horse mask.
Cordoba got up and stood beside me, cutlass still out.  We both faced the visitor, waiting to see who would make the first move.
“Curses, I’m too late,” the masked pony growled, voice artificially deep.
“So are you the vigilante that’s been prowling the streets and looking for the serial killer just like us?” I said.
The pony nodded.  “You may call me the Horse Stallion.”
“You’re seriously calling yourself the Horse Stallion?” I shook my head.  “No way, if you’re going to be a vigilante in my town, you’ve got to have a better image than that.”
I threw my foreleg around their shoulders.  “Come with me.  We’re going to give you a makeover.”