//------------------------------// // Season 1 Episode 2: How I got here...? // Story: The Good Fandom Man // by Jake Witt //------------------------------// "Get out!" Twilight shouted. If my butt wasn't armored, her pushing would feel weird but not as awkward as her pushing against me with no effect. "Ahhh!" I look down to her, "I believe the door is to the right of us." "I will sue you for breaking and entering!" I nodded, "Yes, my house broke into a public, Ponyville owned establishment-" "My room is privately rented!" "-without my control and I fell out on accident." I calmly said, taking two steps towards the door to humor her. "And instead on offering a way to help me move my most alien domain from your residence, you press charges on a freak accident?" She stopped pushing, frowning up at me, "I'm sorry but history has made a point of showing how much trouble follow your kind." "My kind? Please, elaborate." Racist? That's new. "Humans, robots, unnatural ponies, and creatures alien to the planet; all named under the term of 'Displaced'," Twilight began, taking out books with images that brought a smile behind my mask. "Humans wearing costumes stripped from their world to save or destroy ours. The world of ponies, griffons, yaks, dragons, zebras, and so on." One image was what looked like the cast of Sesame Street and Muppets in costumes, sharing drinks at a bar before the next image of Cookie Monster holding back Elmo and Ms. Piggy from fighting another held back drunk pony. "This is one example of eldritch horrors and demon animals starting a bar fight." "The caption shows that the pony started it with the 'You do not belong here' bit," I pointed out. "He was drunk, not thinking clearly." "Same with the living children show puppets," I pointed out logically, flipping the page. "That mare looks happy to see Popeye the Sailor Man." "She was deceived; look at this image of 'Popeye' bribing this salesman and punching these innocent ponies!" "Look over his shoulder in the second image. These poor, innocent ponies were harassing the mare while he was getting ice cream!" I poked the third image, "Look back here, is that the face of a terrified mare? She's cheering Popeye on!" "But Popeye sounds like a gruesome name!" "I think it sounds pretty cool," Spike said, fist high. "Cooler than Link or Bubbles or Buttercup or Zero. Who names a hero Zero?" Tiny Spark hoped off Twilight and onto Spike, "Zero to Hero~! He was a no one~ a Zero, a Zero~! Now he's a hot shot! He's a hero~!" "That has a nice ring," Spike added, smiling up at the miniature Twilight Sparkle. "What's with the tiny Twiley?" I asked. Twilight fumed, "How do you know my nickname?! My... uh... sibling? Gave me that!" "You mean your big brother?" "YES! No! ...maybe?" "Who taught you how to fly a kite?" I asked, pulling up a memory of the "Big Brother, Best Friends Forever" song. "What does this have to do with your breaking into my new home?!" "EVERYTHING. I come from the future, fought five other me's for dominance within a pocket dimension and flew back into the timeline in a giant rainbow ball of magic. My details are not important: Who is tiny Twilight and who taught you how to fly a kite?!" Startled, Twilight shouted, "She showed up when I first met Princess Celestia and a creepy filly, years ag,o tried to teach me how! Starlight's obsession sent her to another foster family!" "You know that last part... why?" "I had to make sure she wasn't in Ponyville..." Twilight pursed her lips before cautiously asking, "Why are you asking?" "Captain Shining Armor is your big brother, right?" Everyone's eyes glowed white for a moment. She nodded, "Yes. In fact, he actually drove off Starlight before teaching me how to fly a kite properly." She looked around, "Hey, Oscar Conners, why are we down stairs? I thought we were in my room talking about your pocket dimension?" Spike tilted his head, "Twilight, you were mad... about something." "Yeah, we ran downstairs because we mistook a falling book for a home invader," I said shrugging. I led Twilight up the stairs, "You need to stop being paranoid." Twilight and Tiny nodded, "Yeah, I'm just shaken up from your arrival and the new princesses." We entered her room... where I just had the oddest feeling. Like something wasn't right. "I'm feeling tired.... Night, Ms. Sparkle!" I leaped into my portal and the pony world faded to white... but the nagging feeling remained.