Dawn shone through the blinds of the room me and Doc had slept in to reveal a, honestly, pretty pathetic sight. Doc apparently was trying to become a backpack, but had wrapped herself around my front rather than my back. I on the other hand, was basically spooning her with my face buried in her mane. I groggily opened my eyes and yawned widely, getting a mouthful of mane in the process. I spat out the offending fluff before attempting to stretch, and failing due to my fuzzy parasite. I groaned and started wiggling out of her grip, only for her to curl around my face. Great, now I have a fuzzy facehugger rather than a chest...hugger? I'll work on it.
"Dooooooc, ge offf mah fwafce."
Apparently her stomach was so good at muffling noises she didn't hear me. I managed to free my arms and started pulling her off. With an, I kid you not, audible "pop" she was off my face. She feebly flailed her hooves.
"Nooooooooo, I wanna sleep."
"You were sleeping on my face."
"Your face is comfy and warm and I wanna sleep."
"Doc, we got stuff to do today. I think."
"It's for science!"
"No it's not, I'm not even going to pretend I'm convinced."
She groaned before rolling off the bed with a flop and dragging herself to the coffee maker in the kitchenette. I got up and put my shirt back on, making a mental note to ask about getting it cleaned. A mug of coffee was pushed onto the table until it was on the side next to me. I grunted my thanks before drinking the dark, bitter elixir. It was black, just the way I like it.
"That's the good stuff. Thanks Doc."
She yawned in reply and started eating some cereal. I decided now was a perfect time to take a shower. I walked into the bathroom and, after closing the door, removed my clothes. I put my dirty underwear aside and pulled the clean pair out of my pocket. They both were discolored from the soap I had been forced to wash them with, which was why I hadn't washed my shirt with it. Given the shower was pony sized, I had to squat down in order to be under the shower head. After I was clean I got dressed and grabbed some breakfast.
I was just brushing my teeth when the knocking started. Doc opened the door and a panicked guard shouted,
"You two, come with me, now!"
Me and Doc exchanged looks before running after him. Doc turned to me,
"What do you think it is?"
"I don't know, it could be the Union attacking, or it could be a flood. Heck, it could be aliens invading for all I know!"
We kept running until we were out on a balcony with many other guards and the two pains in my badonkadonks themselves, the princesses. Celestia turned to me and gestured to the horizon.
"What in Equestria are they doing!?! Are they attacking us!"
I looked and saw the massive transport ship lifting into the sky from behind a mountain. Ooooooooh, so there's where they were. I looked back at Celestia as I noticed the position they were in.
"Um... judging by the trajectory, they're--"
*BOOOOOOOM*
With an explosive sound and a flash of light, the ship flew into the sky, leaving a white ring of dispersing moisture where they had been.
"Retreating!?"
She looked at me in confusion as her sister trotted over.
"W-what? Why would they? Is it a trap?"
"Nope, never heard of this happening before. I think they decided it wasn't worth the recourses they were spending. Classic profit and loss decision making."
"Then, then... THE WAR IS OVER!"
All the ponies cheered, which I then joined in on. Everyone was hugging and laughing before cheers rang out from the town. Celestia walked further out onto the balcony where a podium was located. She light up her horn and her voice could be heard loud and clear.
"PONIES OF EQUESTRIA! THE HUMANS ARE GONE! SPREAD THE WORD THAT THE WAR IS OVER!"
This prompted more cheers and hugs and more than a few kisses. I was just teaching the guards how to high-five when ole' Moon Moon said to her sister, who had by now returned to our little party,
"Sister, what shall we do with this one? Should I dispose of it?"
I came to a screeching halt and turned to look at the two sisters. Bluey was glaring at me, still obviously in hate with me. (Get it, instead of in love, I said in hate, it's a play on words! Clever right? Right!?) Celestia paused before growing thoughtful. Yup, Jack gonna die tonight.
"I suppose given how uncooperative he was...."
JACK GONNA DIE TONIGHT!
"And if my little ponies were to see him they would panic...."
GONNA DIE!
"But, he has been cordial. So I suppose...."
JACK GONNA HAVE HIS INTESTINES PULLED OUT HIS BUTT AND TIED INTO A KNOT!
"Jack, you are hereby placed under permanent house arrest. You will remain in custody until further notice. You will have what my sister and I deem necessary, but not allowed to leave. Guards, please escort him to the top room of the west tower."
Huh, not sure how I feel about that.
<<To Be Continued>>