Divine Entertainment

by Orthoros

62. Discord

One week.

One week of constant chaos and close to no sleep.

Atlas felt like he was dead on his hooves. The lack of sleep was proving to be his worst enemy given the current situation. He was sure that his heart would hand in it’s two week notice any minute now. Considering what was currently happening around him, it might even do so literally.

Watching over Discord quickly proved to be a full-time job, given that the little demon apparently didn’t sleep. Ever. The few times where Atlas actually managed to fall asleep, he was awaken soon after by… something inevitably happening. The amount of impossible things his feeble mind had had to witness the past week, was for lack of a better word unimaginable, and yet there was a great deal more to come.

By now, he wasn’t even expected to turn up at work. His new mission, as was ordered by the higher ups, was to “study” the anomaly Discord and send the results back for evaluation.

Starswirl came over a few times after he was discharged from the hospital, but never stayed for more than an hour, not that Atlas could blame him. Apparently he valued his sanity too much to stay longer. Crimson and Blue Current visited as well, but left soon after for similar reasons. Their daughter loved it though and would probably have stayed forever if they let her.

Atlas didn’t even bat an eye as an eye-bat flew past him, smashed into the wall and left an ink splotch on the stone, that was unsettlingly successful at dripping up towards the ceiling. He’d made his way towards the kitchen, desperate for some coffee, passing a happily floating Discord on his way.

“Might I get one coffee, please?” He asked the spoon behind the counter, which nodded enthusiastically and signed for his comrades to prepare the beverage.

The cutleries civilisation was flourishing, though sadly, as a side-effect, they had completely taken over the kitchen. They had buildings, small fields and even some rudimentary transportation. Much to Atlas’ relief they actually planted coffee beans, how they got them to grow, he didn’t know, and neither did he care. All that mattered was that it tasted alright.

He absent-mindedly registered that there apparently was a parade in honor of President Spork, who had been in office for a solid week now. It seemed to be a good ruler. Thankfully, the spoons had gotten pretty good at their craft and he didn’t have to wait for a long time to get his coffee. He threw a few marbles on the counter, which they used as currency in their little country.

Atlas was glad that he technically had an infinite supply of marbles, since due to Discord’s wild magic he was literally losing them all the time, finding them later all around the flat.

He turned around, finding that the dimensions of his abode had once again changed. His living room was currently a good sixty feet long, the table and chairs of Atlas’ desire now way too far away for his liking. With a sigh he made his way towards them anyway, glad of the fact that he’d somehow managed to tame the chairs after they had gone rogue about three days ago and let himself get comfortable on one of them, setting his fish-shaped mug down on the table, which still spelled out “Discord”.

As always, it didn’t take long for Discord to join him on the other side of the table. This behaviour was pretty much the only constant he had shown for the past week. Whenever Atlas would sit down at the table, Discord would join him. The chaos around them wouldn’t stop, but it toned down a little, most likely because Discord was focusing most of his attention on Atlas. As a result, Atlas had spent a lot of time sitting at the table.

As always, Discord just sat there, curiously staring at Atlas, as if he was waiting for Atlas to do… something. What that was, or if that statement was even true, Atlas didn’t know.

With a sigh, he levitated his cup and drank some of the heavenly liquid called coffee. By now, he mainly enjoyed it for it’s taste, since his excessive consumption of the drug had given him some weird resistance against the caffeine. Either that, or he was just too tired for it to effectively work anymore.

“I eagerly await the day where all of this…” Atlas tiredly gestured towards the entirety of the chaos around them, “... will stop.”

Atlas blinked and suddenly everything around him was back to normal. The living room had reverted back to it’s regular size, and no weird animals were running around anymore. He craned his neck to look behind him, finding that the spork civilisation seemed to have fallen, leaving behind only a normal kitchen, littered with spoons, knifes, forks and one spork.

“Seriously?” Atlas asked incredulously. “All I had to do was ask nicely?”

Of course Atlas had asked Discord to stop before, or rather, demanded it from him. There might have even been an instance where he had begged. Yet, weirdly enough the one that finally got him to stop, was the off-hand comment. Atlas just didn’t understand what was going on anymore. He’d gotten so used to chaos all around him that the normalcy weirded him out a bit.

Discord, meanwhile, just sat opposite of Atlas with a tilted head, observing what Atlas was doing. He seemed like a normal child all of the sudden, so Atlas decided to take his chances at teaching Discord a valuable lesson.

“Hey, Discord, do you know what sleep is? It’s tons of fun!” Atlas said with faux excitement, in an attempt to make sleeping sound more interesting.

“Sleep?” Discord asked, letting the newly learned word roll of his tongue.

“Yes, sleep. When you feel tired, you allow your body to completely relax and gather power for the next day. And you know what the best part about it is? Dreams!” Atlas said excitedly. “It’s like watching a movie in your head, where anything… is… possible…” Derailing himself by realizing that Discord could do that while being awake anyway, Atlas wanted to facehoof so badly, yet he resisted the urge. Discord was a baby, he didn’t need to know that he was getting duped.

“Fun?” Discord asked curiously.

“Yes, lots and lots of fun,” Atlas replied. “I can show you how to do it if you want.”

Discord seemed to ponder the proposition while Atlas showed him his best awkward smile. It was a miracle that he seemed to understand roughly what Atlas had said to him, even though he was barely able to talk himself, yet Atlas wasn’t about to look a gift pony in the mouth.

“Sleep!” Discord said after a short while, opting to not float and instead spread out his arms in front of him, apparently wanting to be picked up.

Atlas complied, the promise of sweet, sweet sleep causing him to not care about anything right then. Atlas got up from his chair and levitated Discord onto his back before walking towards the bedroom. He set Discord down on the pillow that once belonged to Belle, the small creature just big enough to fit completely without spilling over. Atlas himself walked over towards his side and immediately tucked himself under the blanket.

Discord observed what Atlas was doing, and after some time simply decided to curl up on the pillow like some overgrown snake.

“Now just close your eyes, calm down and let your body relax, sleep will come to you before you know it…” Atlas said, stifling a yawn.

Discord did as he was told and Atlas was internally cheering. He’d gone too long without a good night's sleep.

“Good night, Discord,” Atlas said closing his eyes.

“Night, mama,” Discord answered.

“No, no, it’s papa,” Atlas answered absentmindedly, already half asleep.

His eyes shot open once more as his own statement confused himself. He looked at Discord who apparently had already mastered the complicated art of “sleep”, judging by his slowly moving chest. It didn’t seem like Discord heard him, so Atlas closed his eyes once more.

“Fuck it, I’m too tired to deal with this right now...,” Atlas said before letting out a huge yawn.

This wasn’t how Atlas thought he’d become a parent.

Not at all.

“But why won’t you let me go outside, daddy?” Discord asked in a whining voice.

Atlas and Discord were both sitting at the living room table, which had long ago been returned to its normal form. While Atlas was sipping on his coffee and reading the newspaper, Discord was trying to convince his presumed father to let him go outside for once.

“You know just as well as I do that I couldn’t really stop you if you wanted to,” Atlas replied. “But for now it’d be a lot better for all of us if you stayed inside, at the very least until you have full control over your powers.”

Discord sighed and let his head rest on the table, boredom evident on his face. By this point he hadn’t grown a whole lot, mostly getting longer and less chubby. He was still pretty small, barely reaching higher than Atlas’ chest. One part that definitely matured by a large margin was his mind.

For just being a four year old Discord had displayed an incredible talent for learning things. Talking full sentences barely took him half a year, and the common sense Atlas had been trying to hammer inside him ever since then, seemed to have taken root as well. The one problem still persisting though, was that Discord’s chaos magic could still be unpredictable sometimes, but they were working on that.

Sometimes he wondered if Discord’s mental maturity had something to do with the fact that the spell that created him, literally absorbed Doc Brown. It was entirely possible that he retained some of the knowledge that once belonged to the goofy unicorn and was slowly starting to manifest itself, although memories seemed to be exempt from this.

“Why are other ponies scared of me?” Discord asked.

Atlas winced a little when he remembered a particular event that happened about a year ago. Thinking the chaos magic was mostly under control, Atlas had decided to finally go outside with Discord for a little change of pace. The outside world was supposed to be a new experience for the little Draconequus and at first it was. Even though they were getting a lot of odd looks, or more specifically, Discord was, it was an enjoyable outing.

As fate would have it, the fear of the unknown and unusual decided to manifest itself in the form of one elderly unicorn. He’d seemed offended by the mere existence of the being that was Discord, and told everypony in the vicinity just exactly what he thought of the “abomination” happily riding on Atlas’ back.

The whole ordeal stressed Discord out, ultimately resulting in a surge that wreaked, well… havoc.

Word spread quickly, making ponies afraid of some presumed monster that didn’t really exist, and Discord was henceforth seen as little more than a danger to those around him. The incident even resulted in an order to keep Discord inside until he was completely in control of his powers.

“Ponies are afraid of the unknown, Discord,” Atlas explained. “Your kind of magic is new and somewhat unpredictable, and that can be scary for a lot of ponies. Technically, it’s changing everything they thought was true about magic and turning it upside down. Sometimes literally.”

“But I never hurt anypony,” Discord whined.

“I know, Discord, but fear is oftentimes irrational,” Atlas said. “Listen, we’ll figure out how your magic works exactly, and when we do, we’ll show them how incredibly wrong they were about you. Sound good?”

Discord brightened up a little after hearing Atlas’ encouraging words, a small smile appearing on his face.

“Yeah!” Discord agreed.

“Alright then, why don’t you go and get ready for your magic lesson? I’ll be with you shortly.” Atlas replied, turning the page of his newspaper.

“Will do! Thanks, daddy!” Discord said while jumping off his chair and taking off towards the previously unused room, that was now used as an improvised classroom.

Looking past his newspaper Atlas watched Discord eagerly run on his mismatched feet. A smile appeared on his face, the thirst for knowledge reminding him of Doc Brown.

The small being had really grown on him over the past two years.

“Don’t run off too far!” Blue Current called after the two playing children.

Atlas sat beside her on a park bench, watching the kids as well. Ever since he and Discord figured out how to control the latter’s chaos magic, they went outside a lot more. While apprehensive at first, the other ponies quickly realized that Discord wasn’t a real danger to anypony anymore, so they left the two of them well enough alone.

Since Discord and Green Lantern liked to play with each other, Blue Current and Atlas intended to give them as many chances to do so as possible. Just like today, where they had a scheduled a playdate for their two kids.

By now Atlas was comfortable with calling Discord his son.

The sun was high in the sky, the blue canvas only disturbed by a few stray clouds as spring started to officially settle in. Even though the weather seemed perfect, it was still quite cold for this time of the year, but the unnatural chill didn’t really bother anypony.

“Thanks for letting Green Lantern play with Discord, by the way,” Atlas said.

Even though they were mostly left alone, most ponies still thought that Discord was something that shouldn’t be, and mostly avoided them whenever possible.

“Oh, don’t you start this again!” Blue Current complained. “You say this everytime we meet up, and I tell you everytime that I don’t care what the others think. Discord is such a sweet little guy, even if he looks a little weird.”

“Yes, yes, I know,” Atlas said in a monotone voice, “but I still feel the need to thank you for it. Green Lantern is pretty much the only friend Discord has that’s his own age, so being able to meet up like this means a lot to him… and me.” He added that last part as an afterthought.

“Well, our little Lantern doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, she thinks Discord is pretty funny, what with his special kind of magic and what-not,” Blue Current said. “Again, do I have to tell you this every time? I’d think by now the message would have sunk into that thick head of yours.”

“True enough,” Atlas chuckled, “I’ll try to not bring it up again. It’s just, Discord and I have spent so much time alone, even though you guys tried to visit often, that it’s just strange to finally be out and about again.”

“I understand, truly I do,” Blue Current said. “Just know that me and Crimson are your friends, and we’ll always be here for you. There’s also Starswirl and even Amber and Amethyst, even though they’re always away on some deployment.”

“I just wish Belle was here to see all of this,” Atlas sighed. “She’d would have loved Discord.”

“Of that, I’m certain,” Blue Current confirmed.

A comfortable silence fell over the two parents, and they were contempt with just watching their kids play. Apparently, there was a game of tag going on, with Discord chasing the green pegasus filly all over the place, apparently banned from teleporting to create a more even playing field.

“Will they let you teach again?” Blue Current suddenly asked.

“Yeah, when the next school year starts I’ll be back at it again, now that Discord isn’t considered a threat anymore,” Atlas replied. “I’ll just have to find somepony to keep an eye on Discord while I’m gone. Or, who knows? Maybe he’ll manage on his own? He is quite mature for his age…”

“I’ll be glad to watch over him, whenever you need me to,” Blue Current offered. “My work times are really flexible, and I’m looking after Green Lantern anyway, one more foal wouldn’t make a difference.”

“Thanks, I’ll be sure to let you know,” Atlas responded.

Since Atlas was still technically serving in the guard and his job of keeping Discord from turning the lonely mountain into a gigantic cake had ended, he was required to take up his old position as a teacher again. Sure, he had barely been on the job more than a month when the accident happened, but this time would be different. As things looked right now, He’d most likely serve the rest of his time at the academy. Maybe even longer than that, if he really liked it.

Atlas read the headline for today's newspaper with mild interest. He activated his levitation spell and used it to pull out a small book from a nearby bookcase. The blue, hard-paper bound book lazily floated over to him and lazily opened itself. After setting down at the table, the pages started to flip through, revealing page after page filled with neatly organized notes until eventually stopping at what seemed to be a crude timeline.

Atlas levitated some ink and a quill over to himself, dipped the ink into the quill and marked the second entry on the timeline with an ‘X’.

He closed the book, which contained everything he still remembered of the My Little Pony show from earth and put it back in it’s spot on the shelf with his magic.

While the book exclusively contained knowledge about the show at first, it had long since been joined by other things Atlas didn’t want to forget. Such as the names of his friends, important historical events not mentioned by the show, and lastly a picture of Belle.

The door suddenly flew open, a gust of wind blowing a flurry of snow and a disheveled looking Discord inside. After a snap from Discords eagle claw, the door returned to being closed in the blink of an eye and all of the snow was cleared, as if it had never been inside in the first place.

“I know you said it’ll get even colder than last year, but I thought you were bluffing dad,” Discord said, shaking himself like a dog to get the last of the snow off himself.

“Well, the cold will only get worse until we leave,” Atlas said. “We’ll just have to deal with it in the meantime.”

Discord had stumbled upon Atlas’ book of notes at one point when Atlas was at work and read the whole thing. Of course, a lot of questions were waiting for Atlas once he’d gotten home. Questions he couldn’t really ignore. Backed into a corner, he decided to tell Discord everything, even though he was only twelve years old. Thinking that at least his own son deserved to know the whole truth, Atlas told him everything, from once being a human to what the gods did to him.

Young Discord was quite fascinated by the whole story and promised to keep it a secret, even from Green Lantern and her mother. This officially brought the count of ponies who knew everything about Atlas back up to two.

“Can’t we just leave now?” Discord complained, snapping away his warm clothes. “You know where this Equestria place is, right?”

“Sadly, I do not,” Atlas replied. “I just know that it’s somewhere out there and that Princess Platinum will find it for us. We’ll just have to be patient and wait. Look, apparently she already left, so it won’t be too long now.”

Atlas turned the newspaper so Discord could see it and the Draconequus eagerly read the headline.

“Thank god!” He exclaimed dramatically, the expression being something he had picked up from Atlas. “It really shouldn’t be snowing all year long, that’s just… unnatural.”

Atlas chuckled a bit, the irony of Discord being the one who uttered these words not being lost on him. Discord, meanwhile, walked over to the kitchen to put away the groceries which he just came back from buying.

Sometimes Atlas thought he lived together with a roommate instead of a young child, the intelligence of Discord astounding him everyday. By now, he was pretty sure that some of Doc Brown was leaking through, since Discord had taken on some of his tendencies and quirks.

Atlas turned the page and returned to reading the article.

The rest of the article was mainly describing the send-off ceremony that was held and potential routes that were discussed beforehand. Atlas skimmed over the boring parts until he reached the end, where a small box was dedicated to news from the other tribes.

Talks between the three tribes have fallen through. While the recent meeting was supposed to shed a new light on the situation, the present heads of the respective tribes merely used the chance to blame each other for the situation.

Of all ponies, the loudest was Chancellor Puddinghead, who was overheard loudly accusing the unicorns and pegasi of working together against the earth ponies. Furthermore, she seemed convinced that the sickness that claimed Queen Eventide last year leaving their country in shambles was brewed up by the unicorns in a plot to enslave the earth ponies.

Her wild accusations and, admittedly random tangents, riled up Commander Hurricane as well as Princess Platinum, resulting in all parties leaving the negotiation table prematurely.

Whoever this Chancellor Puddinghead was, she seemed to be unfit to rule a country. Apparently, after the Queen died of some “mysterious” illness, she took over state affairs by announcing herself as the new de-facto leader. Since Eventide didn’t leave behind a successor and Puddinghead had been a close advisor of the Queen, nopony had seen a problem with it.

Something they regretted soon after, since Puddinghead only drove their tribe into corner after corner before ultimately resorting to blaming the unicorns and pegasi. A sentiment the blatantly racist earth ponies picked up gladly.

Putting the newspaper away, Atlas floated over a piece of paper as well as his ink and quill. He began compiling a list of things he needed to prepare for when the inevitable move happened. Furthermore, he wrote down the titles of books he planned to “save” from their cold fate and spells he wanted to learn before leaving. It would be impossible to bring along the entire royal library, though he was sure the librarians would try, so he had to cram in as much studying as he could before a lot of knowledge was inevitably lost forever.

The clock had just begun ticking, and time was running out.