"So how exactly is this for science again?" Spike asked as he walked down the stairs to join Twilight and the others that have gathered. Every-pony was present with the exception of Rarity. Rainbow was chatting with Fluttershy. Applejack was just looking around, she seemed really uncomfortable around Rainbow. This pleases me... Pinkie Pie was just bouncing around the room, randomly tipping over things. If she stays like that the entire day, I couldn't give a damn over how many plants she tips over with her bouncing. As long she doesn't try to fuck me with every definition of the word.
"I need to observe certain things while we hike." Twilight answered cheerfully while she stocked her saddlebags that were around her. I already got everything I need with me. He smirked to himself. "While we're out there might as well have fun observing nature too."
"So then what are you observing if you're not already observing the nature?" Spike cocked an eyebrow.
She just continued to place things into her bags with the help from her magic. "Don't worry about it." She replied and turned around with a frown on her face. "Hey Spike have you seen the bottle of taurine around?"
"You used the last of it with that last potion you made." Spike lied with an excellent poker face. It was just enough to make three... So it all worked out.
Twilight pouted a little and then turned back around to resume her task before they left. "I don't think I'll need it anyway. I'll pick some more up on our way back." She sighed. "Hey can you go see if Rarity is coming or not? I don't know if she's late or if she decided not to come."
"Sure, I'm sure that she's just running late." As Spike was walking to the door, he saw Rainbow out of the corner of his eye and jerked his head for her to meet him outside.
"...so then he was like- hold on a second, Fluttershy." Rainbow pardoned herself. "I have to go check something." Fluttershy didn't think anything of it, she just walked over and talked to Applejack while Rainbow joined Spike outside. "What's going on?" She brohoofed him.
"Good things, Rain-bro." He answered as he took a vial out of his pocket and handed it to her. "...Good things."
"What the hell is this?" She questioned while she opened it and sniffed the aroma. "Smells... Weird. I don't feel like tripping balls the entire time." Rainbow hesitated.
"It's not a drug, dumb-ass. Well, not the kind you're thinking of." Spike chuckled. "How are you doing with AJ?"
"Not good. It's really weird, she won't talk about normal things." She peered back inside to the orange mare. "It's hard to explain... I get really awkward around her too."
"That's what this is for." Spike motioned to the vial she was somehow balancing on one hoof. "It'll get rid of all that awkward, shitty, feelings and replace them with awesome. You'll feel a lot better around her."
She brought it up to her eye and examined it. "How do you know that I won't just try to fuck everything if I drink this?" She cringed at the smell again.
"Because I used it before and intend to again." Spike replied as he pulled out a second one. He popped the cork off with his thumb and downed it. "Tastes pretty damn good too."
She reluctantly raised it to her mouth and allowed a few drops to enter her mouth. Once she got a taste of it and decided that it wasn't going to cause insta-cancer, she drank the rest in one motion. She blinked a few times and looked at Spike. "Did you make this stuff? It is pretty good."
"I call it Redbull. Fitting awesome name, for an awesome drink." Spike grinned with accomplishment.
"I can already feel it kicking in..." Rainbow looked around with a smile. Does this have a side effect with ponies? "Did you bring more for Applejack? She could really use some of this stuff."
"Nah, she needs to sit and fester in the feelings she has about you." Spike informed her. "Right now, she doesn't really know why she's feeling those feelings. Spend some more time with her with that stuff and she'll soon turn into the awkward one with the crush. Then you get to plow that ass!" Rainbow cocked a head to Spike. "...Or whatever lesbians do." Spike corrected himself. "You know, if you ever had a lesbian party it would have the best name ever." He snickered. "Rainbow Dash's Lesbo Bash."
"How many of those do you have, though?" Rainbow asked. "I thought I saw another in your pocket."
"The funny names? Shit tons- Oh you mean the drinks... I made one for Rarity." Spike answered. "She knows exactly why she has those feelings, might was well kill the ones that are making her feel insecure about having them."
"How many ponies know you like I do?" Rainbow chuckled.
Spike scratched his chin and thought about it. "Well, there's Bigmac, and Fluttershy's bunny, Twilight's brother, really just every male, and Rarity is learning too."
"Fluttershy's bunny and Twilight's brother?" Rainbow questioned.
"Yeah, turns out Angle can talk and is a huge asshole." Spike muttered.
"First Pinkie and now Angel... Everything just hates you." Rainbow laughed. "What about Twilight's brother? How do you know him?"
"You remember his wedding? I was suppose to do the bachelor party and 'forgot'?" He grinned. "Bitch, please. Like I would ever forget to throw a bachelor party. He definitely likes those strippers at the salty lick."
"Nice." She brohoofed him again. "I like your plan. Sounds a little mean to Applejack, though."
"It's for the best." Spike waved the thought away. "It's the only way to make her think of you like that. I got to go pick up Rarity. See ya in like five minuets." He said while he started his way to the boutique.
"Peace!" She hollered before she opened the door and joined the others again.
***
"Hey, Rarity! Are you comin'?" Spike shouted as he knocked on her door. Bitch! You best be coming! Rarity opened the door a few moments later. She wore a troubled expression. "Hey are you coming with us on that hike?" Spike asked.
"I'm afraid not, Spike." She answered, glumly.
"Why not? It'll be fun!" Spike grinned. "All of us out there in the woods, or wherever the hell Twilight's taking us. Do you have like a shipment of dresses to make or something?" Like it's not about me... That's just silly.
"I've been thinking some things out. About you to be more specific and I've just been deciding about some things." She said quietly.
"Ah, I got something for you that might help with that." Spike beamed as he pulled out the last vial and handed it to her.
"What's this?" She questioned, looking at the bubbling liquid.
"Something that will put your mind at ease. Kind of. While you come with us!" Spike encouraged. "Just try it. You'll feel better."
She popped the cork and sniffed it. "Where did you acquire this from?" Rarity questioned. "It smells... Elegant in a bad way, somehow."
"I made it myself." Spike replied proudly. "It tastes a lot better then it smells. Just take it like a shot of Vodka."
She looked at him with wide eyes. "You drink, Spike?" She asked shocked.
He just shrugged. "The occasional drink or two, or five. Depends on if I have to be anywhere in the morning." He smirked.
"Do you always act like this when you're alone?" Rarity asked with a shy smile. "It's much more appealing then you are around the others."
"How do you think Twilight would have reacted if she heard me tell off that bitch in the restaurant?" Spike cocked an eyebrow.
"Poorly." She answered, thinking of the purple mare and his harsh language that made Rose cry.
"Exactly." Spike confirmed. "So I act a bit differently around ponies who I know can handle it. I can tell that you're a bit uncomfortable around me right now, so I made that for you so that you'd feel better. Because I care about you."
She blushed and thought for a bit while she swished the drink around before pouring it into her mouth. She drank it much slower then Rainbow did. After she sipped the last bit, she smacked lips together, judging the flavor. "Better then I thought it would be." She concluded. Then her eyes widened again and she quickly scanned her surroundings. It kicks in a hell of a lot faster for ponies.
"Better?" Spike asked, grinning.
"Better." She confirmed with a new beaming smile. "I think I will join you after all."
"Nice. This way, m'lady." Spike let her go first out the door as they walked back to Twilight's library. Redbull... getting people laid since two days ago.
"So Spike." Rarity started as they walked together. "It seems like you're experienced with how to treat mares."
"Don't forget that I'm older then I look."Spike reminded. "And I don't want to sound like an ass, but I'v learned many things, mainly through trial and error." By error you mean perfect every fuckin' time!
"So you're not... New to this kind of thing?" Rarity asked, snickering at the thought of Spike as a player.
Not in the slightest, bitch. "Meh, I know what I'm doing." He answered vaguely.
"Do you normally just baltenly admit to staring at posteriors?" She blushed.
"Only when I know that it will be taken as a compliment." Spike replied while letting her know that he took a glance back.
***
"I'm glad that you decided to come, Rarity." Twilight said as the walked down a dirt path surrounded by trees and mountains off in the distance. They all packed up and were already on their hike. They were't in the Everfree forest, but they were pretty much walking on the edge. "I thought that you weren't going to accompany us."
"Initially, I wasn't planning on it." Rarity admitted with a grin. "But Spike convinced me otherwise."
"Spike convinced you?" Twilight asked. "He normally doesn't say much that influences anything really." She laughed while Spike just glared and gave her the middle finger behind her back.
"You should really give Spike more credit then you do." Rarity advised. "He's definitely not from the norm." She smiled shyly at Spike. That's right! Let the Redbull take those negative feelings for me away...
"I hatched Spike. And he's growing up along side me." Twilight responded while catching up with Fluttershy, seemingly a little irritated. "I'm pretty sure I know him." Rarity and Spike giggled quietly enough for her not to hear. Sure you do... Whore.
Pinkie Pie then bounced in front of them and was spinning around while walking. It almost seemed like every time when she turned around to face Spike, she sneered... She was spinning too fast, he couldn't be completely sure. Spike didn't take his eyes off of her for a second. Rarity watched Spike as he watched Pinkie and sensed something was wrong. "What are you looking at? Are you looking at her posterior as well?" Rarity demanded.
"Not at all, yours is the only one for me." He replied quickly before narrowing his eyes. "It's just that... I don't trust her."
"You don't trust who? Pinkie?" Rarity questioned, a little appalled at the thought of anypony not trusting Pinkie. "Why in world would you not trust her?"
"Because Spike's afraid of her." Rainbow teased, coming up from behind them. "He thinks she wants to kill him."
Rarity just stared at him, gaping. "You started a fray with those two large stallions, but you're afraid of Pinkie?" Rarity couldn't comprehend the logic.
"Spike fought off two stallions?" Rainbow asked, wondering how he pulled that trick off. "Did he pay somepony else? Otherwise, I don't see that happening."
"The two scoundrels tried to mug us, but then Spike grabbed a shovel and knocked then unconscious with one hit to each of them." Rarity swooned around Spike. "It was the grandest nights of my life."
"So you and Spike are..." Rainbow hedged, fearing that it will mess things up for him. "...Like that now?"
Rarity looked down at Spike and smiled. "I don't see why not to see where things go." Rainbow's jaw dropped with the acceptance from her.
Spike just smirked at his stunned friend. "Power of swag and Redbull. Never doubt me." He stated while draping an arm around Rarity. Applejack was a bit farther ahead of them, alone. Spike nudged his head for Rainbow to go join her. After seeing the effectiveness of his methods, she unraveled her wings and passed the others to catch up with the farmer.
"Hey Applejack." Rainbow trotted up beside her. "How are you feelin-"
"Did ya know that zapapples are the same colors as yer mane?" Applejack interrupted, without making eye contact to hide a blush.
"Yeah... the colors of a rainbow..." Rainbow pieced that puzzle together. "Are you Ok-"
"And the stem is like the lighting bolt on yer cutie-mark." Applejack interrupted again while looking back at her mark. "Except that it's colorful like your mane instead of just brown." She appeared to be mezmerized by her mark, dancing on her leg as they walked.
"What? You see somethin' you like?" Rainbow smirked. That shit Spike made kicks ass! I would have run away by now! Rainbow thought in her head.
Applejack shook her head, out of her thoughts and turned even a darker shade of red then she was before. "Wha- No- I wasn't- I was-" Her tongue was failing her. "I was thinking about something." She didn't lie,really. She was thinking through some things.
"Alright, then." Rainbow replied. "Just tell me if you want anything." With that she slowed down a bit and left her with her thoughts. Spike said just keep doing small things like that... I like it. Little bastard knows how to manipulate ponies...
"What's going on with that?" Rarity asked, observing Applejack walking awkwardly as Rainbow held back and gave her space.
"Nothin' really." Spike didn't want her to know, not just yet. Not until they actually start something like he did. "Don't worry about it."
Something caught Spike's eye, something rustling in a bush. He squinted his eyes to look at the bush that was a good distance away from them and saw some hook-like red object swinging around the top of the bush. The fuck is that? It just swayed in the wind... gracefully moving side to side. Leaves in the front dropped to reveal fangs. Oh, shit. More leaves fell to show the face of a lion. "Holy crap!" Spike shouted.
"Spike! Language!" Twilight over heard his shriek. "Don't use that foul vocabulary." Rainbow and Rarity giggled over the irony.
"I'm pretty sure it's called for in this situation!" He shouted back and pointed to the bush with the lion emerging from it. Everypony stopped and looked where he pointed. As it came out, the red hook playfully followed it. While it stepped out they realized that It was from the same being. "What is that!?" Spike wailed.
"It's a manticore." Twilight answered casually. "Don't worry, Fluttershy's got-" The winged beast cut her off with a fierce roar. All of the ponies gasped with fear, excluding Fluttershy, who fainted. Fuck, Fluttershy! You're so damn useless! "-the ground covered." Everypony started to panic.
The manticore started it's approach, it was pretty far away, they had some time to think of something. "What are we going to do? Should we run?" Rarity cried.
"That's made from a lion, that won't end well." Spike replied quickly, slapping his face trying to think of something. "He's getting closer..."
"We can use the elements of harmony!" Twilight announced to everypony, the whole scenario didn't seem to phase her. Are you fucking serious!?
"You brought them with you?" Rainbow asked hopefully.
"No, I didn't." She answered. "But we don't need them! We are strong enough where we don't physically need them. We have each other. We are the elements!" They smiled in hopes and huddled together quickly. The manticore was now bounding towards them, gaining speed. "I think as long as we hold Fluttershy then we have her too." They all closed their eyes, embracing each other, Concentrating on their specific element. Yet nothing happened yet.
"Are ya sure that this will work, Twilight?" Applejack eyed the manticore that was losing distance from them at a alarming rate. "He's still coming."
"It will work, trust me. Trust in each other. Our friendship can overcome anything!" They all huddled closer. The manticore was about less then fifty yards away now. They could feel each others warmth and love rushing over their frightened bodies. "As long as we have each other we can accomplish anything! All we need is friendship and love to-"
BANG!
The manticore collapsed and skid towards them amassing a pile of earth as it did so. It stopped at their feet to show a hole in it's head that was leaking blood. They looked over to see the source of the ear-piercing bang came from. Spike stood there, holding a metal object that had a smoking barrel coming out of it.. "Spike... what- what it that?" Twilight chocked out, unable to comprehend what happened.
"It's a gun." He replied.
"What's a gun? What just happened? Where did you get that from? Is the manticore going to be alright?" Twilight was firing questions as fast as she could at him.
"My guess would be..." He walked over to the beast that had a bleeding hold in it's head and kicked it. "...No."
"What did ya just do?" Applejack asked, not sure how to take it.
"I killed it." Spike answered, putting the gun back in his pocket.
"Why?" Twilight cried. "We could have just used the elements and stunned it!"
"Or you couldn't get it because not only do you NOT HAVE THEM, BUT FLUTTERSHY IS PASSED OUT!" Spike shouted at her. "That thing was going to kill us all, you idiot!"
"What is that thing and where did you get it?" Twilight questioned with a shocked expression plastered on all their faces.
"As I said already, it's a gun. Not every dragon is big. Smaller ones don't want to die either, so they make weapons so that they don't" Spike explained. "Remember when I left to find out more about where I'm from? The other dragons gave me one when I earned their respect. I kept it, though... Just in case."
"You didn't have to kill it, though!" She wailed.
"Great, so if you somehow did stun it and we got away it would just be able to eat someOTHER pony." Spike commented. "Yeah, so much better."
"He's got a point." Rainbow agreed, she was out of her stasis of shock and trotted over and joined Spike's side beside the dead manticore. "He did just save our lives."
"How could you support this?" Twilight cried.
"We would be dead if he didn't!" Rarity chirped in and stepped in beside Spike, also. "You should be thanking him!"
"Thanking him for murder?" Twilight wailed. Fluttershy twitched and opened her eyes. "Oh, Celestia thank-you Fluttershy will side with me."
"What's going on?" She whispered.
"Spike killed that creature with a death machine!" Twilight informed her.
Her eyes lit up as she took flight and hovered over the beast and gently rubbed it's stomach. "Oh, mister bear and miss alligator would love a treat!" Spike and the others snickered from the face Twilight displayed. It looked as if she just witnessed Spike rape a pony.
"Fluttershy?" Twilight whispered in disbelief.
"What?" She asked, then thought about why she was upset. "It's the circle of life, Twilight. Plus my animals won't hurt anypony."
"Exactly!" Pinkie Pie shouted cheerfully as she bounced over to Spike and bent down to his level. "You slayed this mighty beast to grant me another day of life, so shall you get in return." She whispered as she slid a knife into his pocket. Spike felt his heart sink with fear. SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! She's going to kill me! HA! But not today! She stood back up and did a cartwheel around the manticore on the ground.
"Applejack? Do you at least support me?" Twilight asked.
"Ah would, surgarcube. But ah can't be against the dragon that just saved all our lives." Applejack patted her on the back as she joined the others. "It's not like he's goin' out shootin' everything up! He did it to protect us!"
"That's right." Spike smirked, as he put his arm around Rarity. "The ones I love." She blushed with intensity.
"Let's just go back..." Twilight muttered. "I have to think." She then started for Ponyville. They others thanked Spike and then caught up to talk some sense into her while Rarity and Rainbow hung back to talk to Spike.
"Hey, Spike." Rainbow asked. "Do they make those for ponies to use?"
"Nope. Only dragons are smart enough to know when to use it." ON PINKIE WHEN SHE COMES AT ME!! Spike gasped in his head with the idea. "They would all start wars and kill each other, then we would have no one to steal from... Same with the humans."
"Humans?" Rarity asked.
"Yeah, some weird monkey- looking things. You guys apparently followed me. You guys didn't see any on the dragon migration thing?" Spike asked. "I helped them kill that Dova-dick in Skyrim."
"Who?" Rainbow asked.
"Some dick that got a hold of some of our powers and started killing all the dragons he saw." Spike told them, recalling the memory. "All the dragons thought 'He killed forty other dragons, but I'm special, I can do it alone! Hurr-Hurr!' Then I showed up and got like twenty dragons together and destroyed him. Then they gave me the gun that they could have just used on the guy. He only had a sword, that's stupid!"
"Do you normally kill things?" Rarity asked.
"No, just when they're doing something like that. That guy and that manticore are the only things I'v killed." Spike answered.
"Cause your weak!" Rainbow teased.
"I wouldn't say anything if I were you, Rain-bro." Spike warned. "I'm pretty sure I saw a tear of fear roll down your face when you were cowering with Applejack." She looked like she was about to say a comeback but then realized she had nothing.
"Rain-bro?" Rarity giggled she knew just from the talk that Rainbow and Spike were good friends, but nothing more. "Suits you."
Thumb up and favorite this story!
Reader:"Hey Shpoople, if you're asking for thumbs and favs, doesn't that make you a like whore?"
Me: "Doesn't that make you a bitch! And damn straight, I'm okay with it."
Com'on guys! Make this the first featured story that says cunt in the first ten lines! Let's make some history!