//------------------------------// // Chapter 6: Obsession // Story: Fallout: Equestria - Echoes of the Ministries // by Banjo64 //------------------------------// “Regrets are idle; yet history is one long regret. Everything might have turned out so differently.” - Charles Dudley Warner The last memory showed Silent Cry resting in a chair. Once again, time had passed and Silent Cry’s body had fallen further. This was the body of a pony who’s remaining lifespan now measured in months or maybe just weeks rather than years. And yet, she was eagerly talking with the lost soul of a blue unicorn as if she was still the young mare from the first memory orb. “...so long. So much death and suffering by my hooves. I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself,” wept the ghost of Trixie. “You will, I’m certain. It is the will of what lies beyond that your soul will find peace. I’ve never met, nor heard of, a ghost that didn’t fall asleep eventually. I won’t be there to help you, but I know you will find it some day,” said Silent Cry, her voice a tired gasp. Trixie sighed. “One can only hope, I suppose. Very well, ghost whisperer. I shall endeavor to push on even without your assistance. I pray you find your own peace when the time comes,” said Trixie before she bowed and turned to leave. “Thank you, and good luck,” said Silent Cry as Trixie headed out the door. With a content sigh, Silent Cry leaded back into her chair and closed her eyes. “You almost never see a ghost at my age. Sometimes I think ponies are meant to grow old so that they can find their peace long before their souls leave their bodies. I’ve had a good run. I made some friends, helped some poor souls, and left the world a little better than what it was when I arrived, even if only in places nopony can see. I don’t believe a pony could truly wish for more,” Silent Cry mumbled to herself. Some time passed in silence, before she spoke again. “If you’re waiting for an invitation, I shall remind you that I gave you one years ago,” said Silent Cry. If there had been any indication that told Silent Cry she had company, it wasn’t apparent in the memory. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to impose,” came a familiar voice. Silent Cry opened her eyes to see the ghost of the Ministry Mare of the Ministry of Arcane Sciences: Twilight Sparkle. Her ghostly form was in a far worse state than any ghost seen in Silent Cry’s memories yet. Her form was patchy, and several parts seemed unattached to the rest of her. Her expression was very haggard as well. “I’m an old mare counting down the days till I die. The only way you could impose on me now is if you tried to wake me up from a nap. Talking with dead ponies is the only thing I can do anymore, and I welcome any and all who take the time to speak with this old hag,” said Silent Cry. Twilight sighed and made her way to sit down in front of Silent Cry. “So, what do you want to talk about?” asked Silent Cry. “A few things, and not all of it is about me. First and foremost, I have to ask if you ever bothered to learn more about your abilities,” said Twilight. Silent Cry chucked. “Still a scholar at heart, are you? The answer is no, but I did learn about it. Heard from a ghost buck who overheard it from a steel ranger who read about it during a party in some dragon cave. Apparently, the legend of the ghost whisperer goes back to Equestria's founding. Something about how whenever some great calamity strikes the world, someone, not always a pony, is given the power to clean up the resulting mess of souls that nopony else alive can see,” said Silent Cry. “Yes. I read about it while I was alive, but I’d completely forgotten about it years before the war even started. It really makes one wonder what lies beyond, and gives hope that who or whatever watches over us is merciful,” said Twilight. “Maybe so, but I fail to see what that has to do with anything. So what if I’m the most recent entry in a line for some destined role? You were the next to most recent in line for yours. And don’t tell me you came to see me just to discuss science. That’s not what’s keeping you in the mortal realm,” chided Silent Cry. “No, I’m just... making conversation before I start talking about my own problems. As you can guess, I’m not too eager to start,” admitted Twilight with a sigh. “Yeah, you’ve only been avoiding me for years. It’s not like I’m due to expire soon and you wanted to make sure you actually got to talk to me before I croak,” said Silent Cry. Twilight glared at the old mare. “I’m kidding dear, though I suppose I should apologize. I know what you had to go through, and why you’d want some time to yourself first. But at least tell me you haven’t been doing the same thing as Applejack and Pinkie Pie. You have been telling your friends about all your regrets, not just the ones you feel like sharing, right?” asked Silent Cry. “Yes, I’ve been honest with them. And I’m not going to pretend I’m already over what I went through for the last two hundred years. Just look at me. I doubt I’ll be able to fully recover for some time. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about,” said Twilight. “Then get on with it. I’m not getting any younger here,” said Silent Cry. Twilight sighed, but didn’t look away. “When I look back at my life, I can’t help but feel like the entire world was watching me. I mean, I was Celestia’s personal student, the bearer of the Element of Magic, and the Ministry Mare of one of the largest scientific communities in recorded history. One could call it destiny, I suppose, but it did seem like I held the world’s future in my hooves from the day I was born. Well, the consequences of our efforts show that this was likely the case, but my point stands.” “I never really understood the burden Celestia lived under until I inherited part of it myself. As my power and influence grew, so did my fears and concerns that I’d mess up. More and more ponies turned toward me to find the solution. More and more pressure was put upon me to fix things. I don’t think I need to tell you that I don’t do well with stress.” “But in the end, I have no one to blame for that but myself. I agreed along with my friends to form a Ministry that would harness my talents to their fullest. I was the leader, to an extent. If I thought that we should merge our ministries and work together instead of focusing on our individual talents, we’d probably have turned the war around. I don’t know if that moment was the one when I failed to measure up to my destiny, but it was definitely the wrong move.” “Do you know why Magic is the central Element? It’s not necessarily the most important or the most powerful, but it’s the one that is the main focus of their power. Why? Because that’s what friendship is: a magical force that can pull the most unlikely of ponies together through the worst of times.” “Would a scholar, a party planner, a farmer, a weather pony, a fashionista, and an animal caretaker have anything to do with each other if they weren't friends? How about a repairpony, a singer turned medic, a drifter, a soldier, and a former slave? It would take a miracle to pull such a party together and keep it together, yet that is exactly what happened.” “Everything that’s happen these past few years? It has been the result of friendship. Friendship born from the harshest conditions imaginable, but ultimately no different than the ones I forged in my lifetime. Nations rise and fall, ponies live and die, but in the end friendship has been there keeping ponies together and pushing them ever forward.” “And I lost sight of that. Me, the bearer of Magic itself, forgot that. I was the one who pulled us all together. I was the one who kept us together against all the chaos the world threw at us. And yet, when I should have pulled us together once again, I just let us drift apart. It was always a flaw of mine: my obsessions. I got it into my head that it was up to me to find a way to end the stalemate, and turned my back to everything else. All I could focus on was helping Equestria, blindly pushing towards what I assumed was the answer.” “Nothing good comes from pursuing your goals without considering the consequences. The others may blame themselves for not seeing that until it was too late, but I should have known before the decision was even made. I mean, it was written in our history books, for fuck’s sake!” cried Twilight as she slammed her hoof into her face. “Really? Since when did Equestria have a history of making poor decisions that led to the end of the world?” asked Silent Cry with a raised eyebrow. “Do you know the history of Hearth’s Warming? I don’t mean the story we told our fillies and colts, I mean do you know the actually history behind the holiday?” asked Twilight. Silent Cry shook her head. Twilight responded with a sigh. “It’s to be expected, I suppose. So much has been lost over these last few centuries. The truth is that the struggle of our founders was far worse than you realize. You see, the windigos never existed. They were a metaphor for the hatred that pervaded ponies hearts in those days. It wasn’t an eternal winter that drove ponies away from their homeland. It was a war.” “It was known back then as the Singular War, because it was believed that the war would never end as long as there was more than one pony race. The three tribes had always hated each other, but at that moment in history, it reached the point it turned into outright attempted genocide. It’s unclear exactly how long the war lasted, but the consequences were far reaching.” “The homeland was ruined beyond any hope of recovery. Countless books, records, and arts were destroyed. And worst of all, ponies died. Many, many ponies died. So many, that when the events of the children’s story took place, ponykind was on the brink of extinction. There were so few of them left that they were forced to put aside their differences and unite their tribes or risk dying out.” “While the founders are remembered as ponies who learned about the magic of friendship and united the tribes as a result, the truth is that it’s the other way around. They united the tribes, and then learned that they weren’t as bad as they’d thought. It took the near extinction of our race to end the hatred between the tribes and allow friendship into our lives.” “Do you see the parallels? The ways we failed to learn from history and instead simply repeated it? And in our case, the war and near extinction didn’t even result in friendship blooming between the warring nations. It took two hundred years and another pony willing to sacrifice so much for the hatred to truly start to die out.” “And that's my biggest regret. I was the book lover. I was the one who knew the full story, but I didn’t take it to heart. I didn’t listen to the warnings of the past, and repeated the same mistakes as our ancestors. Once again, life on the world was nearly extinguished, but this time it can not be blamed on ignorance to a better way, but instead on choosing not to pursue it,” finished Twilight. Silent Cry remained silent for a moment before speaking. “Twilight Sparkle, if just writing down the world’s problems would fix them, world peace would have been established shortly after ponies invented the alphabet. Yes, you failed to learn from history, as there will no doubt be others who will fail to learn from what has transpired now, but there is a very simple reason for this: knowing is not the same as understanding. It’s easy to read about ancient pony and point out their mistakes. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, after all. It’s far less easy to recognize those mistakes when you’re making them yourself,” said Silent Cry. Twilight sighed. “That part I understand, but I don’t see how that helps me. Just saying lots of ponies made the same mistakes as me doesn’t mean I didn’t make them, or that they didn’t have far reaching consequences,” admitted Twilight. “That’s because finding peace isn’t about seeking justice, or a way to repent for your mistakes. It’s about acknowledging that you made them, accepting that they had negative effects on the world, and forgiving yourself for making them. You’re dead, Twilight Sparkle. The only living pony who even knows you’re still around will be dead soon, too. You no longer have the ability to try to make amends for your misdeeds. All you can do is ask for forgiveness, and offer it to those who wronged you in return.” “I have never pretended to understand how life and death works. Maybe the only reason you’re going to paradise is because you saved the world several times. Maybe only ponies who don’t know regret go to Tartarus. Maybe this whole thing is just the result of some twisted part of my brain and I’ve wasted my life chasing shadows. But if it is real, then the fact remains: the powers that be have decided you deserve forgiveness, and that’s what you should seek.” “And really, you of all ponies have no right to complain. You got to help the living world before you finished dieing. You got to save the life of the Stable Dweller. And before you say how helping one pony doesn’t make up for however many you indirectly killed, I again remind you that most souls don’t even get that much once they die,” said Silent Cry. “Well, yes, but I wasn’t the only one. The crusaders gave her a home to grow up in. Applejack provided a gun for her to protect herself with, and her husband walked with her. Rarity gave her strength as she went on her journey. Pinkie was the one who gave her direction, and Rainbow gave her the tools to bring back the sun,” admitted Twilight. “Yes, you’ve all had the opportunity to help the Stable Dweller in some small way, intentional or otherwise. Your own little penances. Especially you, I imagine. It was your brainchild that restored life to the wasteland, after all,” said Silent Cry. Twilight gave a soft smile. “That will be you and your friends’ legacy, you mark my words. As long as we’re repeating history, I’m willing to wager the part about exaggerating our champions will repeat as well. You’ll be remember as great heroes who failed to stop the unimaginable evil but left behind a great power that guided the chosen ones to save the world, not as the ponies who inadvertently ended it,” said Silent Cry. “That’s almost as bad as being remembered for the truth. I certainly don’t deserve to so fondly remembered by history,” confessed Twilight with a shake of her head. “Bah, leave history to the living ponies who write it down. If anypony even mentions me in the history books, it be ‘oh yeah, that soul helping thing showed up around here too. If they’re even real, that is.’ Nopony should strive to appear in the history books. Ponies should strive to make history happen around them, or least aim to leave a positive mark before they leave. I dare say you and your friends left positive marks, even with all the negative ones you left as well,” said Silent Cry. Twilight didn’t say anything, but her expression spoke volumes of gratitude. They sat together in silence for a minute, reflecting on their discussion. “So then, you mentioned that you had something else to tell me? And don’t say it’s about me writing down ancient knowledge you don’t want lost forever,” said Silent Cry. “I admit I was tempted when I first heard about you, but no. It’s about Fluttershy,” said Twilight. “I see. I always admired Fluttershy, you know. Maybe it was just because I was raised by a doctor, but I did. Last I heard that one group, the Followers of Apocalypse I believe, had freed her from her enchanted prison and are trying to help her recover as we speak,” said Silent Cry. “Yes, but it’s been an uphill battle. She was awake during her two hundred years as a tree. She went insane, all the way through back to sanity, and fell once again down into madness. It’s been a few years since she was rescued, but she still has a very long way to go. As you can imagine, it’s been very painful for me and the girls to just sit back and watch her twist and turn in agony,” explained Twilight. Silent Cry let out a sigh and leaned back into her chair. “That poor mare, just trying to find a way to keep everypony alive and bringing about our doom instead. I’d offer my assistance, but I doubt I’d be permitted to see her, and I may cause more harm than good. My talents lie with helping a pony accept their pain. What that pony needs now is a way to fight through hers. A reminder of her mistakes would likely only make things worse,” said Silent Cry. “We figured as much as well. She needs professional help right now, not just an understanding shoulder to lean on. That said, me and the girls figured that we could ask if you might be willing to do us a favor,” said Twilight. “A favor?” asked Silent Cry. “Yes. Like you said, the dead can’t make an impact on the world, but we can still share our thoughts with you. And, well, we were wondering... would you be willing to share them with Fluttershy?” asked Twilight. Silent Cry raised an eyebrow, but then smiled. “Well, my writing hoof isn’t what it used to be, but I reckon I can write a few letters without too much difficulty. I take it the others are all waiting for my approval?” asked Silent Cry. At that moment, several familiar ghosts entered the building, all with eager, but nervous expressions. “Alright then. And maybe I can add something of my own to help her, too. Hm... perhaps I’ll arrange to have some of my memories recorded to memory orbs. There’s that one pony in Tenpony Tower who still owes me a favor...” said Silent Cry. The memory faded.