“Alright, just break it to me. How lost am I?”
“You are so lost that your Equestrian Positioning System has no idea how you could have possibly traveled that distance in such a short time.”
“Friggin' figures.” A lone, tired-looking unicorn pulled a ramshackle cart along behind him. The cart was in a horrid state of disrepair, to the point that it was impossible to tell what it may have originally looked like. It was painted in bold colors, although they were so mismatch and random as to cause discomfort to look at. Two of its wheels were cracked, and the other two were simple rocks jammed onto the axles.
The cart's owner was an average-looking, pale green unicorn, although very tall and slender. He wore glasses and a black vest, and his dark green mane was styled to travel up his horn. His tail had the strange appearance of having recently exploded. A microphone mark decorated his flank.
“Now approaching Ponyville. Population 50. A quiet little village in the Equestrian countryside.” The unicorn's ears perked up. “A town? Excellent, towns have food, water and places to sleep. Not a pile of dulled splinters like this piece of crap.” He looked down a hill at the small village.
The unicorn sighed. “Well, if nothing else, I can finally smash this cart and try to rebuild it from the ground up.” He started down the hill. The moment he felt gravity take hold, he jumped onto the cart. “Alright, folks. Nobody lives forever. LEEEEROOOOOOOOOY–”
Midnight Green
Author: Voyd211
“Alright, that's good!” Twilight Sparkle surveyed her handiwork. Princess Celestia had decided that this year, the Grand Galloping Gala would be here in Ponyville. Sure, the upper-class mares and stallions would gripe about it, but what did that matter? Judging from the last Gala, most of them were insufferable.
“Would yer stop prettifyin' every bush ya see and help me hang up decorations?”
“Oh, for goodness' sake, Applejack, I thought we'd dealt with this before.” Rarity and Applejack pulled Twilight back into a sense of reality, when she realized that Rarity was making far more topiaries than were necessary. Still, they were nice to have aro-
“–JEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!!!!!” Her thoughts were interupted yet again, although this interruption was much worse. What seemed to be a giant, half-smashed crate on wheels careened wildly into Ponyville.
Twilight's heart skipped a beat. “Everypony, stop that cart!” She was a moment too late; the cart came to a stop against the tree Applejack and Rarity had just been arguing about, fragmenting and throwing pieces of plywood everywhere. As the dust cleared, it was apparent that, amazingly, the tree had been totally unharmed, while the cart was completely destroyed.
The wreckage stirred, and a green unicorn head pushed its way out. “Whew.... that was the most fun I've ever had in this rolling lump of plywood and chewing gum.” He was cut off by an angry hoof smashing the ground in front of his face. He looked up and saw a very, VERY peeved purple unicorn staring down at him. The stallion in the former cart sighed.
“Oh boy.... this is gonna be a bad day, I can tell.”