Celestia’s face was impassive as she told the tale, but tears ran from her bloodshot eyes like twin rivers. Twilight shook off the emotions forced on her by Celestia’s memories and reclaimed her own. It didn’t matter to her what Celestia had done in the past. She was hurting now. And Twilight would do anything to make it stop.
Twilight embraced Celestia. She realized her own eyes streamed tears as well. It didn’t matter. “You’re safe. I’m still right here. I heard it all, and I’m not going anywhere. I know you have pain and guilt over what you and Luna did to all those ponies, and what you had to do to Luna. I know you held it all inside, so you could put Equestria back together again for everypony.”
“You still don’t know all I’ve done,” Celestia whispered. “The ones closest to me I’ve manipulated and abused. I’m a terrible pony.”
“You’re the most amazing pony ever!” Twilight cried. “You rose above your pain to rebuild Equestria and keep ponies happy and safe for a thousand years! And you don’t have to hold your pain in all alone anymore. For a millennium you were the only adult alicorn. But you have help now. Luna is back and rules beside you. Cadance and Shining Armor rule in their own right and have birthed the next generation of alicorns. Even I can help, if you’ll let me.”
“But you’re among those I abused the most!” Celestia wailed.
Twilight rocked back. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Unless you used memory magic on me to make me forget something? I don’t remember you doing that, but I wouldn’t, would I? Did you…”
“I haven’t violated your mind, I’m more careful than that,” Celestia huffed. She took in a deep breath and began her rant.
“You’ve seen the lengths I went to try and keep from losing Luna. What lengths do you think I went to safeguard her return? I knew I needed a pony with powerful magic to wield the Elements Of Harmony and cleanse my sister. I created my School For Gifted Unicorns long ago, to identify and track powerful unicorns and their families, so I could identify potential candidates. I deeded land to the Apple family to start Ponyville near the Everfree Forest and the Castle of the Two Sisters, so there would be a place for Luna to return that was near where the Elements slept.
“The closer I came to the end of Luna’s thousand year banishment, the more desperate for an Element bearer I became.
“First, I thought Cadance might be one. She was a young, powerful alicorn, who understood love and harmony. As she was the only other alicorn in the land, no one thought it strange when I took an active part in molding her. But the Elements did not respond to Cadance. Once she got her mark, I saw that her destiny lie elsewhere, with the Crystal Heart.
“Next, I choose Sunset Shimmer as my student and potential Element bearer. She was powerful and driven. I tried to become Sunset’s friend as well as her teacher. I wanted her to like me, so I lavished praise upon Sunset for every little thing. This backfired. Sunset decided being my student made her better than everypony else. Her arrogance kept her from making friends and made her reckless. When she finally made demands I couldn’t meet, we quarreled, and I told her she would no longer be my student. I wanted to shock Sunset into reevaluating her behavior. My plan was to give her a chance to mature then make her my student again and mold her into a worthy Element bearer. But Sunset escaped through the magic mirror and was out of my reach.
“I had no potential Element bear and time was getting short. I considered taking your brother under my tutelage and molding him. Shining Armor was powerful and already showing leadership potential in the academy. I sent Cadance to get to know him and give me a report. She became your foalsitter, so she had a reason to be in your house without arousing his suspicion. But Cadance kept coming up with reasons why Shining Armor would be unsuitable. She’d already fallen for him and didn’t want him facing Nightmare Moon.
“Cadance’s reports were the first I’d heard of you. She said you were studious, obsessed with magic, likable, but introverted. Your power level was unknown. When you surged during your entrance exam at my School For Gifted Unicorns, and I saw your mark, I knew you had to be the one.
“I spoke the truth that day when I told you I’d never seen a unicorn with your raw abilities. And your new mark looked just like the Element Of Magic, back when I wielded it. I decided as you were my last, best chance, I had to dominate your life completely. I couldn’t let you fail.
“I controlled every aspect of your upbringing. I was always pushing you toward what I wanted you to do next. Anytime you expressed an interest outside of magic or studying, I subtly discouraged you. I isolated you from others, so you would only look to me for approval. I provided you with Spike, so you’d learn responsibility and wouldn’t be lonely. That way, you wouldn’t be driven to befriend somepony who would pull you away from what I thought was needed in an Element bearer.
“Every time you achieved something, I posed an even greater challenge. Nothing you did was ever quite good enough for me. I wanted you to have to work harder and harder to keep earning my approval, so you wouldn’t have time for distractions.
“And I was purposefully capricious, changing unwritten rules so you’d never be sure what actions would earn my praise. This made you hunger for my approval even more and forced you to hang on my every word to be sure you were doing what I wanted. Your obsession with notes and checklists must come from wanting tools to ‘hold my hooves to the fire’ when I tried to change the rules on you.
“And when the fateful Summer Sun Celebration came, you were what I made you: powerful, knowledgeable, driven, loyal. But also socially awkward, naive, hungry for praise, and with low self-esteem that you covered with snark aimed at everypony but me.
“You were dependent on me for your self-image. So when I told you to do something, I knew you would throw yourself into it 100%. That included undertaking an investigation I created to lead you to the legend of the Mare In The Moon. And providing needless supervision for the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville so I was sure you would be in in the right place for Luna’s return. I even sent you to stay in a library to lower your anxiety and primed you to make friends, because I knew you would need fellow Element bearers.
“And my manipulations were rewarded. You recovered the Elements and freed Luna! I needed to concentrate 100% of my time on Luna after her return, so I gave you a new mission in Ponyville to get you out of Canterlot Castle. Then to be sure I kept you dependent, I made you write me reports and gave you regular assignments. I sent you and your friends into danger, time and time again.
“And you thanked me. You kept asking for more! Discord. Sombra. Ascension. Tirek. No matter what horrors I forced upon you, you kept saying, “please Celestia, what more can I do to help?” And now, here you are again, still propping up this ancient mare.
“I don’t deserve your loyalty, I don’t deserve any of it.”
Twilight considered Celestia’s rant. She prepared a mental checklist and delivered a rant of her own.
“I think I can refute what you’ve said, point by point.
“I loved magic and was an “egghead”, as Rainbow calls me, long before I ever met you. You never forced me to study; you enabled me to do what I love and I thank you for it.
“Don't you dare apologize for letting me raise Spike. He is my LBBFNOA: Little Brother, Best Friend, Number One Assistant. Except for you, no one ever helped me more.
“As for pushing me to achieve, I’ve always competed against myself more than anypony else; you just fueled my natural fire.
“I know I still get caught up in trying to make the world to stick to my schedule. Your capriciousness was a good way of helping me learn to be more flexible and deal with the natural chaos of life.
“By the way, I never apologize for making notes and checklists, they’re part of the reason I get so much done.
“When I lived in Canterlot Castle, I may have been socially awkward and naive. In some ways, I still am. But any progress I’ve made is because you sent me to Ponyville, to live among five great friends and a town full of crazy ponies! I love them all.
“And I don’t regret the reports and assignments and trying to make you happy. I learned a lot. And I live to make my friends and family happy. You were never just my teacher or my ruler, you were my first adult friend. I’d do anything you asked of me. But, I’d also do that for Spike, or the girls, or even Starlight. Because of who you are, sometimes the things you ask of me are just… bigger... than what the others need.
“Never regret sending me and the girls on missions. We’ve got to help so many ponies, even to help save the whole world! The missions have lead to some of the most satisfying achievements in my life.
“Personally, I’ve been rewarded beyond measure. I have the best friends any mare could ask for. I have my own castle in the best town in Equestria. I’m surrounded by those I love dearly. And I get to spend my life helping ponies. There is no higher calling.
“And for all you doubt yourself, I trust your judgment. I never thought Discord could be redeemed, but you did. And you were right! So I followed your example, and befriended Starlight, even after all the evil she’d done. And she ended up saving all of us from the Changelings. I have learned a thousand ways to be a better pony from you, and I look forward to learning a thousand more.”
Celestia shook her head, unconvinced. “My manipulations of you were abusive, evil.”
Twilight smiled, “You call it manipulation, I call it guidance. You never used mind control, “Want It, Need It”, or that music on me, did you? I never sensed anything, and after Discord played mind games with us, I checked often.”
Celestia scoffed. “I never did anything so crude. But what I did was wrong all the same. You shouldn’t make such a snap judgment.”
“What makes you think I’m deciding this now?” Twilight’s smile became a smirk. “I figured out you were ‘guiding me’ years ago. I may have been naive, but I wasn’t an idiot. There were too many coincidences in my life for their not to be a ‘guiding hoof’ behind it all. And the clues all lead back to you.”
“You never complained. You never said anything.” Celestia was crestfallen.
“Upon long reflection, I decided it was pretty good guidance.” Twilight fluffed her wings. “The results speak for themselves.”
“You refuse to understand.” Celestia was firm. “The things I’ve done are unforgivable.”
Twilight couldn’t look at Celestia. “As you said before, you have a problem with arrogance.” She returned Celestia’s gaze. “You don’t get to choose what another pony forgives. That’s their choice.”
Twilight’s horn glowed, and she summoned her crown and golden boots. “As Princess, I’ve heard your testimony this night and am ready to pass judgment upon you.” Bedecked in her full regalia, Twilight summoned the power of the sun within her and stood tall and majestic. Celestia lay low on her cushion, gazing up at Twilight. Her eyes held hope and fear in equal measure.
“First, regarding your admissions of acts toward ponies-in-general, a thousand years ago.” Twilight’s voice was neutral. “I declare your tireless service to Equestria since then, pays off whatever penance that justice demanded for pony-kind.”
“Second, regarding your admissions of acts related to me this evening.” Twilight smiled warmly at Celestia. “I choose to forgive you. That’s my choice.”
“Finally, regarding your admissions of acts related to Luna, a thousand years ago.” Twilight was cool once again. “Only two living beings can forgive you for those: Luna and yourself.“
Twilight's voice fell to a whisper. “Celestia, you’ve been living with guilt so long, you can’t see any other way. My ruling is to let it go. Reconcile with Luna. Live again.”
The fear was gone from Celestia’s eyes, replaced by exhaustion and a glimmer of hope. She slumped back as if all the air had been let out of her.
“But that’s for the future,” Twilight whispered. “For tonight, you’ve been through enough. My final ruling is to rest.”
Twilight dipped her head until the tip of her horn touched Celestia’s. A single spark jumped between them to seal the judgment. All remaining concerns drained from Celestia’s face, as the strains of the night finally overwhelmed her. She mouthed, “thank you,” then laid her head upon the cushion and fell swiftly to sleep.
Twilight gently levitated Celestia, carried her into the bedroom, and placed her in the huge bed. She laid her head on a large pillow and tucked her in with silken sheets and warm quilts. Before she tip-hoofed away, Twilight stopped to gaze at the sleeping Celestia. She looked so... peaceful, serene. Even calmer than the vacant ‘princess mask’ she wore at functions.
Twilight swallowed so hard, she was afraid she would wake Celestia, but the sleeper never stirred. Her only movement was the slow, rhythmic, rising and falling of her chest. While Twilight knew it was impossible, she would do anything to defend Celestia from the pain she’d seen this night. Twilight wanted, more than anything, to help Celestia find peace in her waking hours that would match her sleeping serenity.
Overcome, Twilight leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on Celestia’s forehead, just below her horn. Celestia let out a small sigh, but her sleep was not otherwise disturbed. Blushing, Twilight silently left the sleeper to her peace.
Back in the sitting room, Twilight stretched her legs, neck, and wings. It was very early in the morning. She’d been up all night, and the stress of the revelations had been draining. From her connection to the sun, Twilight could tell the rising was due soon. She was not waking Celestia. There had to be another way.
“Hello?” she cast her thoughts tentatively into her mind. She felt a small bubble of warmth in response. “I don’t know how much you know about what happened this evening, but Celestia had a very hard night and is sleeping.” The warmth bubbled in seeming ascent. “Would it be OK with you if somepony else greeted you to help you rise this morning?” Another seeming ascent. “I can talk to Luna…” The warmth fled and left Twilight hollow inside. “Not Luna then.” A trickle of warmth returned. “Can I do it?” Twilight asked. The bubble inside her was sharp. Twilight interpreted it as “can you?”
Twilight took a deep breath and blew it out to calm herself. “I can’t go crazy over “what ifs?” this morning,” she thought. “No time for anxiety attacks. This is too important to Celestia.”
Wearing her full regalia, Twilight stepped out of Celestia’s chambers and closed the door behind her. The golden armored Royal Guards came to attention.
“Princess Celestia is sleeping in this morning,” Twilight said. “Please inform Princess Luna I will meet her on the Grand Balcony to raise the sun.” The warmth inside her flooded into every part of her body, from the tips of her hooves to the point of her horn. It was like being hugged from the inside. All fatigue washed away and Twilight felt aware of every ray of light cast in the corridor around her. She stood tall, with barrel forward.
The guards at Celestia’s door were the best of the best. If they were surprised by the change in Celestia’s millennium old routine, it was over so fast as to be imperceptible. “Yes, your Highness!” The guard ducked her head to acknowledge the order, then set off to inform Princess Luna with due haste.
Twilight strode down the corridor toward the Grand Balcony. Two guards followed her. She wasn’t normally assigned a guard detail, but today it seemed appropriate. Twilight wondered if this was a situation the Royal Guard had planned for or if the guards were acting on instinct.
Princess Luna was waiting at the doors to the Grand Balcony, along with Raven, who was carrying her ever-present schedule book.
“How fares my sister?” Luna asked.
“Princess Celestia is fatigued, but sleeping comfortably, after a challenging night,” Twilight replied. “I will raise the sun this morning.”
Luna looked grim but satisfied with this answer.
Raven was concerned. “And what of Princess Celestia’s other duties?”
She couldn’t believe she was saying this. “I‘ll do whatever is required,” Twilight responded.
Raven’s eyes went wide for a moment before she bowed her head and stepped back.
“We should sup in our private dining room after the raising, but before undertaking the other duties of the day.” Luna’s voice was even but did not invite discussion. Twilight nodded. Raven dutifully made a note in her book.
Luna and Twilight stepped out onto the Grand Balcony.
“I’m really going to do this,” Twilight thought. This was huge. The cycle of day and night was critical to all life. And she was just one tiny pony. But the warmth that still filled her from hoof to horn buoyed her hopes.
Luna’s horn lit, and she gazed out at the moon. Her thoughts were her own. She took in a great breath, then lowered her head with a dramatic swoosh of her wings. The moon descended and the horizon was edged with silver light. “The night gives way to the day,” Luna intoned.
“No time to dither,” Twilight thought. She lit her horn and readied her magic. “Welcome to our sky,” she projected within. “We look forward to receiving your light and warmth.” The sun began to peek over the horizon. It cast the world in long shadows and the dawn was lit with lavender fire. “Welcome, and thank you for being Celestia’s friend, and my friend too.” The warmth bubbled happily within her, and the sun inched higher into the sky.
“The day accepts dominion,” Twilight replied. She heard Raven let out a held breath.
Luna surveyed the sun and the horizon and then nodded her head. “T’was a deed well done.” She turned to Twilight. “Come, we have much to discuss.”