Chapter 3: The lives they now live
My eyes slowly opened, having to finally wake up from my painful slumber. I was sore all over. The cramps, my throat, my lungs, and my heart. It’s been at 24 hours since my daughter left. Depression still flowing through my body. I rose up from the cold hard ground, my joints popping and relieving themselves from the position I was in while i slept.
I looked at the clock; 8:49am. I start work at 9. I didn’t want to go to work, but…what other choice do I have? At least it will be what will drive me to ending my days faster. I took a cold, cold shower, not bothering if it was cold at all, for every part of my feeling in me, died out. I got into my clothing and locked the house up, jumping into my car and drove off to start my new depressing life.
***
Rainbow did not get any sleep the night she regained her memories of her father. The depression grew very intense when she got them back. She missed him…dearly. Her body and heart aching, desperate to be by her fathers side again. Her mind dwelling and remembering when her friends came to bring her home. It pained her.
Then a thought came to her. How did she not remember her father? Was there something they did to her? Maybe. She knows her friends would never hurt her, but how could she not remember the man she loved and was cared for? Well, her question was answered when she heard her friends and Celestia.
“….we will have to erase her memories of her years with him, and fill her mind with the memories in equestria. Twilight, you must act now. Use the memory spell and cast it over her. Erase the memories of her and that human and with the memories of us.”
“I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash…”
The voices faded. She knew the truth now. They were the reason her memories of her daddy were once gone. It angered her. Her once beautiful rosy eyes were bloodshot red, filled with the emotions of anger, betrayal and sadness. She was at the brink of blowing.
***
Twilight was in her library home, organizing her books. She was a tad bit worried about rainbow Dash ever since yesterday, but believed it was the effects of the memory spell giving her pain problems, so it wasn’t a bother to her. Little did she know, using that spell to erase the memories of the human that took care of Rainbow will begin to bite her back hard in the flank.
BANG BANG BANG!!
A loud banging on her door caught her by surprise, making her drop her books being held by her magic. Growing curious, she approached the door and opened it, and saw her loyal friend.
“Rainbow? What brings you here so early?” Twilight was confused and happy to see her friend again, but it was about to change. the pegasus shoved Twilight into the library and slammed the door shut. her emotionless face slowly breaking into a fit of anger.
“R…Rainbow, what’s wrong?” Twilight was growing nervous to her sudden change in attitude.
“Why…?” Was what the lips of the multicolored pegasus.
“W…why what?” Twilight questioned her.
“Why did you do it?” Rainbow questioned in a calm but angered tone, sending a shiver down twilight’s back.
“Rainbow…I don’t understa-ACK!” Off guard and slammed against the wall, Rainbow put her into a chocking hold. her eyes burning with rage as tears swelled into them.
“Do NOT play me as a joke twilight Sparkle! Why did you and Celestia try to erase the memories of my DAD!?” Rainbow yelled in anger in her face.
The lavender unicorn’s eyes broke wide in shock, with her coat slowly paling. The memory spell didn’t work. She was able to regain her lost memories of her father, and yet she still has her memories of everything in Equestria.
“R-rainbow…w-we didn’t mean to hurt you…w-we were only doing what was the right thing for us and you.” twilight stuttered in fear of her friends fury.
That infuriated Rainbow dash. they tried to erase her memories of her father for Celestia sake, and they thought that would be helpful!? To hell with that!
“Hurt me!? You made this situation worse for me! If you never tried to erase my daddy from my mind, I wouldn’t be this depressed right now!” Rainbow screamed angrily in her face. “You all nearly ruined everything for me! Because of all of you, I can’t see my dad anymore! Don’t you know he’s been through so much depression and loneliness even before he met me!? I was the only thing that kept him going, and yet you all TORE me away from him!” The cyan pegasus screamed with a sob.
Purple eyes swelling with tears, hearing to how rainbow’s father was going through major depression without her daughter. It pained her to see her loyal friend like this.
“Please Rainbow…we never-“ Twilight tried to speak, but…
SLAP!
A slap echoed in the library. A red mark on twilights cheek. Her eyes widened in shock to what even occurred from her loyal pegasus friend. Rainbow dash slapped her.
“R….Rainbow?” Twilight’s voice sounded broken, afraid and if she was stabbed by a hot knife.
“You and everypony stay away from me! If you all try anything to me again, i will HURT you all!” Rainbow warned loudly, bashing Twi against the book shelved wall and blasted out of the library at quick speeds.
The young lavender unicorn laid on the ground, horribly depressed and ashamed to her actions against rainbow Dash. her heart was shred into pieces when she said those awful words. It pained her dearly. Her head bowed into her hooves, softly crying her eyes out at the feeling of utter betrayal against her former cyan friend.
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry Rainbow dash…” Twilight gave small whimpers and sobs, not bothering to clean up her mess anymore, only to drown herself in shame and pain.
***
Her door slammed shut, throwing herself on her bed, bawling her eyes out. Rainbow Dash was in so much putter pain right now. The feeling of her father gone, the betrayal of her friends and Celestia, and the agony of her heart drowning in sadness. She missed him dearly. She ached for his hugs, his smiles, his love. She can’t keep going like this. She needs her father.
Her eyes drooping slowly, as her body was aching for sleep. Her eyes slowly closed up, as her mind fell into a state of sleep.
(Rainbow’s dream)
Her eyes opened up, as she took in the familiar sight of her father’s home. She can smell the same aroma of his place, filling her heart with joy and happiness. She truly missed his smell, the sight of his home.
BOOM!!
She jumped a bit by the sound of thunder outside. Outside, it was nightfall, with rain pouring and thunder cracking in the dark skies. The door near her creaked open a bit. rainbow saw her filly self with a terrified look in her face. She trotted slowly to a bed, until lightning cracked again, as the little filly jumped and gave a small scream of fright, running under a desk and started crying.
Rainbow remembered this memory. this was when she was first afraid of lightning when she was a filly. she can remember the sounds of her crying, desperate for her daddy’s comfort and protection. She heard a groan from the bed and saw her father rising up and rubbing his tired eyes. Thunder blasted near the house as the cries of Rainbow’s filly self growing louder. Hearing them louder, her father quickly got up from his bed and approached Dash under the desk. Seeing her daddy, she waved her hooves to him. he quickly and gently picked her up in his arms, while the little filly buried her face in his chest.
“Shhh, it’s ok my little dashie. It’s just thunder. It won’t hurt us.” he cooed ever so gently, rocking her back and forth in his arms. The filly Rainbow dash sniffed and cried softly in his chest, not wanting to let go of him. Her father rubbed her back soothingly as the lightning continued to blast in the distance. it was further away now, but it can still be heard. He knew Dashie won’t sleep like this with the rain out and thunder breaking and dancing in the dark skies.
“Don’t worry, Dashie, daddy’s got you. Daddy won’t let you sleep alone tonight.” His voice was so gentle as Rainbow remembered it this night. He walked back to his bed and crawled under the sheets with his daughter. The filly Dashie nuzzled her father, snuggling closer to him for warmth and protection against the sounds of lightning. A small tired smile grazed his lips, as he bent down and kissed her head ever so gently.
“Goodnight, my little Dashie.” he cooed softly to her, before falling asleep with her wonderful daughter.
Rainbow watched the whole thing with a teary smile. She knew her father was a man that always made her feel safe and happy. Still, she aches to gain that lost comfort and warmth she needs.
The memory faded and was replaced with a new one. She remembered this one as well, but in a different perspective. She saw her father on his bed, his hands over his eyes while crying. This was the day rainbow discovered about her origin, how she was part of a TV show called ‘My little Pony: Friendship is magic.’ She ran out of the house that day, not wanting to see her father for a while.
She saw his tears, heard his sobs, his body shaking by the major regret of not telling her the truth long before.
“I’m such an idiot…I’m a horrible father…” He whimpered with his sobs.
Rainbow herself felt tears falling as well, feeling utter regret that she did this to him. It pained her so much that she put him in this much depression that day when she found out about the show.
“No! daddy you’re not a horrible father! I never meant to hurt you! Please, I’m sorry daddy!” rainbow cried out. She tried to reach him, but her body wasn’t moving. She tried again and again, but nothing was working to have her move closer to her dad. What she saw next, put her in a state of horror.
Her father slowly stood up, walking over to a dresser, and opening up one of the dressers. His hand grabbed something inside of it.
In his hand…was a 44 magnum, a gun. Biting his lip, the gun was pointed under his chin, as if….
Rainbow’s mind snapped. Her father was suicidal. How could be so stupid not to notice this!? She knew her dad was emotional, but to the point to killing himself!? This was too much for her to watch.
“NO! DADDY DON’T DO IT! PLEASE, I’M SORRY I HURT YOU! I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU DADDY!!” Rainbow cried and screamed, desperate to try to stop him from pulling the trigger. her body was now slowly moving up to try to reach him before it was too late to stop him.
His body shaking, tears falling like a waterfall, his breathing growing heavier and heavier as his finger was slowly pulling the trigger to pop. Rainbow screamed and crawled her way to her dad, but a force of unknown energy was pulling her back. She was going to see her father die in front of her eyes. He gritted his teeth, and held his breath as he stood firm and….
“I can't…” He whispered softly, pulling the gun away from his chin and back in the dresser. he backed away and sat on his bed again. So much emotions running, and yet he can’t do it.
“Daddy…” Rainbow was relieved he didn’t pull the trigger, but still so ashamed for her actions that day. She watched her father cry, holding himself in a lonely cold embracement of himself. Rainbow used every ounce of her strength, finally able to slowly walk towards him. A small pair of cyan eyes in a thin blue smoke behind her was watching everything, filled with horror, sadness and other painful emotions.
One hoof in front of the other. Rainbow was so close to her father now. She was so close to grab and embrace him. her hoof starting to reach for him, slowly inching to his cold and desperate body, desperate to hug and comfort her father. Her hoof was nearly a centimeter away from his arm. She can feel his pain, his cold lonely skin.
She was so close now. Ever so close. She was about to hug and touch her father, feel his warmth and comfort that he held deep in his heart that he holds for his daughter again, as she really needed it. One last push, her hoof finally-
(Reality)
“RAINBOW DASH!” The cyan pegasus jolted up from her dream. It was over at the blink of an eye. her hoof was so close to touching her father. So, so close. It pained her so much. The once warmth she was about to grasp…was now out of her reach.
“RAINBOW DASH!” The familiar voice from outside angered her, as she was responsible for breaking her away from her dream, the one chance she might have to hold her father again in her arms. grunting in irritation, she moved out of her bed and looked down her window, seeing the familiar pink crazy pony.
“Come on silly billy! You promised we could do some pranks today!” Pinkie chirped, before she pulled out a bunch of prank gags and toys.
Rainbow was not in the mood for any of that right now. She was grateful she didn’t Pinkie promised, but even still.
“I’m not in the mood, Pinkie, now leave me alone.” Rainbow called from her window.
Pinkie was caught by surprise by rainbow’s sudden change in attitude. She wasn’t like this from yesterday. She was all go lucky and happy, but now she was depressed, stressed and irritated. “Are you ok? You sound upset?”
“Fine.” Dash replied with an irritated tone and moved her head back into her room. She pulled her window down and locked it, blocking everything from outside. Climbing back into her bed, she dozed once more, in hope to dream of her father once more.
***
I was driving back from work. It was long, longer than I thought it would be. All day, I only thought about Dashie. Nothing else mattered to me at the point. I was distracted by the memories of my wonderful daughter. My boss was able to get me to focus, but it stopped again when my shift was nearly over. All I could do, was think my Dashie.
Pulling up to my driveway, I turned my car off and exited the vehicle, and entered my home. It was still quiet, as it always has been. Soon enough, my mind was going crazy. I heard the faint sounds of clopping in my house, before my heart stopped. I saw her…my daughter….my little Dashie in front of me at the corner of my hallway. Her bright smile swelled me with joy. I ran for her, she did too. My arms opened up to embrace her, and she jumped for me.
My eyes wet of tears of joy to see my daughter again, but when she made contact to me, she vanished. It was an illusion. my full desperation to see my Dashie again was now driving me insane. This was even more painful for me to endure then when my parents passed away. I collapsed to my knees again, holding myself in a lonely embracement. My eyes no longer flowing with the tears of joy a moment ago, now only flowing with pain and loneliness.
I heard the rain from outside falling. It only depressed me further. All of it, every emotion was eating my heart away. I sobbed and cried to my daughter, begging her to come back to me. I can’t keep living like this. This was all too much pain and despair to handle my body.
I rose up and walked into my room, locking myself in. I threw myself on my bed and bawled my eyes out. I can still see and hear rainbow dash in my mind, feeling her soft touches and warmth. My mind playing horrible tricks to me, as if it was mocking me that I can’t see Dashie anymore.
I didn’t know how long I was crying for. An hour, two, three. I had no idea. but through time passing, I was falling into more and more despair. I couldn’t take it anymore. i need to end this misery right now. I got up from my bed and walked to my dresser and opened it, pulling out a familiar weapon from before. The same weapon I had almost used on myself that day when dashie left me when she knew the truth about herself.
The gun was still loaded with its bullets. If you’re wondering why I have this weapon, it’s a hand me down in my family. My grandfather, his grandfather before him, this weapon was passed down in our family, and my father had this weapon stored away. I found this weapon one day, when i was in a stage of utter despair, in hopes I can find something to kill myself. that’s when I found this gun in a box. it still works, surprising to how old the weapon is. I was going to kill myself that day when Dashie left me…but couldn’t, she still needed me, even though she was upset with me when she knew the truth.
But it’s not like that anymore. Dashie is gone. nothing left for me to turn to and gain comfort, and my desperation for peace was at hand now. My brain has played its last game to me. I’m finished. I cocked the gun and put the pointer under my neck. I was afraid, but this was what I wanted. I couldn’t live anymore. Nothing can save me. I held my breath, closed my teary eyes, my finger starting to squeeze the trigger and puling it. My time in this world…was up. Mom…dad…i’ll be home….soon.
“NO!”
My eyes snapped open by the loud voice. I sharply turned and gasped when i saw a ghost of…my daughter.
“D….Dashie?” I can see her painful face, her teary eyes, her screams and wails of agony.
“DADDY DON’T DO IT! PLEASE, I’M SORRY I HURT YOU! I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU DADDY!!”
She….she must mean to what happened that day when she knew about the show. My hand trembling with the gun in hand. I couldn’t stand to see her this upset and frightened that I was going to kill myself. In truth, dashie was the only thing in my life that was keeping me going. I pulled the gun away from my chin and looked at it. Seeing what I was doing, I tossed it it away from me, backed away to my bed and fell onto it.
I was breathing heavily now, trying to calm down and try to collect what I just witnessed. My Dashie in spirit saved my life. My bond with her must be that strong to have us connect like that. No, that can’t be true. I know my bond with dashie is strong, but I know it can’t be that strong.
Night fell quickly through the hours after I nearly committed suicide. I didn’t bother to eat anything, or take a shower. I wasn’t in the mood to clean up or eat anything. All I did was lay on my bed and out the window. The moon was out, and at a full moon. It was beautiful, but nothing will compare to how beautiful my daughter is. The stars twinkled around, glittering in the night sky.
***
Rainbow woke up from another bad dream of her father almost committing suicide. Once more, she almost touched him, to embrace him. A frown grazing her lips. She saw his despair, his pain and loneliness ever since she left him. She would give anything to see her father once more. The cyan pegasus looked out her window, seeing night has fell. She moved her body around to face her window, eyes gazing at Luna’s beautiful moon and stars.
She remembered one night when she and her father gazed the stars on a warm summer night. Another loving memory she could ever remember in her heart, how they would point out constellations and talk, with Dash pressing against him, enjoying the love and warmth of his fatherhood. She truly missed him dearly
***
I remembered one of my memories with dashie, how we went outside one summer night to gaze upon the stars. I showed her the constellations, and talked with her. It was memorable night. I can still remember how she was up against me, snuggled so close to me, enjoying my warmth and company as a father. I remembered that night all too well. I truly miss her dearly.
***
upon the starry night, rainbow saw a shooting star fly across the sky. She remembered from her father, that seeing a shooting star, a wish of her choice might come true. She cupped her hooves together and made her wish.
***
I saw a shooting star pass by the starry night sky. I never saw one before, but it was sight to behold. I remembered that night with dashie and told her any wish of her choice would come true. I know it was crazy and stupid….but I decided to wish upon it. I cupped my hands together and made my wish, one that I always wish for.
***
“I wish to be with my daddy again…forever.” Dash whispered in a firm, but calm and honest deep emotional voice.
***
“I wish to be with my daughter again…forever.” I wished in a soft, deepening and honest tone.
***
Rainbow looked up to see the shooting star passing and disappearing in the horizon of the night. A sniff was heard from her as a tear fell, before looking up at the moon.
“Goodnight daddy…I love you.” She gave a soft whisper.
***
I saw the shooting star vanish in the sky as I made my final wish. I frowned a bit, but i made my wish, and it was a true strong one that I want to come true than any wish in my existence. I looked up at the moon again and choked on my breath to hold a sob back.
“Goodnight daddy…I love you.” I heard her voice again…my beloved Dashie. I whimpered softly as tears fell. I keep hearing her, and I miss her so much.
“Goodnight….My little dashie…I love you too.” I whimpered with a soft sob, before I fell asleep in a painful slumber.
***
“Goodnight….My little dashie…I love you too.” rainbow heard her father. his voice so broken and in pain. Her heart cracked into pieces, he was in such pain and depression, as if he’s losing the will to live. She whimpered in sadness. She can’t help him. She can’t, even if she tried her hardest.
Rainbow pulled the covers over her head and slowly fell asleep in a painful and depressing manor.
***
In the castle of Canterlot, a familiar night princess heard the wishes of dashie and the man that she calls father. In her years of being the princess of the night, these two wishes were the most strongest and most powerful she ever felt. Both of them connected and desperate to reach each other from their worlds. She’s seen Rainbow’s nightmares, and the pain of how much this man has endured for so long before he met rainbow, and how much he has to endured ever since her sister and the others brought her home.
She never believed that they have such a powerful bond, and that bond is trying to reach each other from this world and earth. It was truly amazing how hard they’re trying to reach each other that desperately. She couldn’t help but tear up and have her crystal tears fall from her blue furred cheeks. It pained her to hear their words and in hope they can survive without each other. But, this was something that they can’t do, even for dashie’s father, at the brink of nearly committing suicide. It was so horrible to have him fall to this level of depression.
“I have to do something about this….to bring them back together.” She spoke softly, but in a small saddening, and determined tone. She then vanished in the night.