//------------------------------// // Chapter Four - Home // Story: The Mare of the Stars // by XYZDreadnought //------------------------------// I tried sleeping again today, it was unpleasant as always. It's amazing how many people take that for granted, the ability to get a good night (or day, in my case) of sleep. To most ponies it is a case of simply lying in a nice soft bed, closing your eyes when tired, and drifting away. For me it involves curling up against the cold uneven stone of my meteor, in attempt to get as much of the only sensation I am capable of during the day, and try to cling to that before trying to force my mind into a state of calm, and fall into a fitful restless sleep. Yup, some ponies don’t know what they have. I feel the first twinkle of dusk disrupting my melancholy, as I feel my being come to life. I uncurl and sprawl out, staring impassively at the fake stars of the ceiling. This room is mine now apparently, that's a strange thought. Sure the tower had been hers, on the merit that it didn’t belong to anyone else anymore. And yet here I am, in a tower of a castle that isn’t falling apart. Given to me by Celestia, why? Why does she suddenly want me closer? “After knowing you for nearly a thousand years, and what you have done for me, do you really think I’d let you vanish, just like that?” So that's it, a combination of gratitude and simply being used to having me around. Why is it that people try so hard to get close to me… I suddenly clutch my chest as deep feeling of sadness wells from the pit of my heart, for only for a moment, before passing. My hand drops to my side. I guess the pain of loss never fully leaves you, even if you forgot what was lost. A knock on the door disturbs my musings. I sit up and cast a glance at the door. “Come in?” The door opens and a young nervous mare in maid attire sort of quietly insinuates herself in, she freezes at the sight of me, standing stock still in the door, before she eventually pulls herself together and speaks. “Excuse me, are you... Mare?” I regard her for a moment before simply saying. “Yes.” The maid fidgets with the hem of her frilly apron. “Umm, her majesty Princess Celestia invites you to the royal sisters’ private supper. I have been asked to escort you, as she does not think you will know the way.” “And what makes her majesty think I will be coming?” I ask, raising my eyebrow. I don’t care if this is her castle, I will not play in Celestia’s games. The made looks visibly taken aback and starts stuttering. ”Ehhh-?! But Celestia- I was told- But private supper, bu-bu-but…” she starts hyperventilating. I inwardly cringe. I hold up my hand to try and catch her attention, which thankfully works, “Look… How long have you been doing this?” The mare looks at the ground. “This is my first day on the job, I was hired yesterday.” God dammit Celestia, this is a low blow. I sigh and get up. “Alright fine, lead the way, it seems like I need to have a talk with her majesty about playing fair.” The maid, still a complete bundle of nerves, opens the door. “R-right this way please,” she says before taking the lead and I follow her down the tower. I follow the nervous maid through the corridors of the castle, taking my time and examining my surroundings. It is a strange feeling, this place feels so... lived in. Even though there is barely a soul, apart from the random maid and guard patrol going in the opposite direction, most giving me odd looks before going about their business. A far cry from the dark and gloomy castle in the middle of the dark and gloomy forest. But as the maid led me down a different corridor, I remember something I liked about the old castle… there was more holes in the ceiling. The maid stops when she sees I have. “Umm, is there a problem, miss Mare?” “Well, being called miss for a start,” I mutter, before saying out loud, “Isn’t there another way, like maybe with more windows?” The maid tilts her head in confusion, before thinking. “Not without going a good distance out of our way. It's just on the other side of this wing, we’d have to walk around the whole building. Why, is there something the matter?” I look back at the stars twinkling through the windows behind me. I turn back and sigh. “Maybe, lets just go.” I walk past her, deeper down the corridor, after giving me a concerned look, she follows. The further I walk, the less stars I can feel on my back as the window slips further from view. Eventually I get that prickly feeling as the window is nearly entirely out of sight, causing me to stop once again. “Are you sure nothing is wrong?” the maid asks with concern. I look forward down the corridor, I think I see the end ahead. “Are there any windows in that corridor up ahead?” “I… think so, it is the other side of this wing,” says Cherry, “Why, what's so important about windows?” “Not windows, stars… See you in a minute.” I take a step forward, and cease to exist. My world of black and white greet me, I shudder, then walk to the end of the corridor, and all at once I come to life again, as the stars greet me through windows. I take a deep breath to fill my empty lungs, before turning to see the maid freaking out where I left her. I stick two fingers in my mouth and give a sharp whistle. She notices me and gallops down the hallway, before skidding on her haunches and stopping in front of me, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me violently. “What?!- how?!- Why!!??!- Who!!.” she cries to my face. “PleASe StoP SHAking ME.” I say, being faced with the novel feeling of being extremely dizzy. She lets go of me, and I stagger around a bit, before settling on a controlled descent and fall on my knees. The maid seems to take a moment to compose herself, while I wait for the world to stop spinning. The maid seems to realise what she’s done, because she suddenly drops her head in a deep bow. “I am so sorry!” “Is that a fact?” I say, my eyes spinning in my sockets. “It’s just that you startled me- and I am so prone to freakouts- please don’t tell the princesses!” she begs. “Forget all that, come over here.” I say, gesturing here to come over. Nervously, she approaches. As soon as she is in reach, I grab the top of her head and hoist myself back on my feet, ignoring her little indignant “Ow!” before talking a few staggering steps and righting myself. “Okay!” I say a little too loudly, “I’m good! Lets just pretend that never happened, I think we will both be happier that way.” “Err, right.” says the maid. There is a little awkward silence, before I address the maid. “So, weren't you taking me somewhere?” The maid lit up with comprehension, and wheels on her hooves. “R-right! This way, we are not far.” We walk on. It seems that the maid had something on her mind though. “If it isn’t too much trouble, why did you disappear like that? And what was that about stars?” I sigh, might as well tell her, no harm in it, might kill a little time. “My existence is tied to starlight, without it, I cease to exist within the world of perception.” “The world of perception?” she says. “Someone I used to know came up with the term, it means without starlight, I cannot fully see or be seen, hear or be heard, feel or be felt.” “That sounds horrible,” says the maid. “Yeah, it is,” I say, “But I’m used to it.” The maid didn’t say anything, but did stop in her tracks. I look past her, the corridor seems to have run out of windows. “...Where is this private dining room exactly?” I ask wearily. “…At the end of this corridor.” she says apologetically. Hand meets face. “Oh, come on.” “Hmm, they are taking their time, you don’t think Miss Cherry got lost?” Celestia ponders aloud. “Or maybe you overestimated Mare’s soft spot, and she was too stubborn to come, and the poor mare is hiding somewhere rather than face your disappointment,” observes Luna dryly. “From what I know of Mare it is doubtful, but a possibility nonetheless,” sighs Celestia. “What will you do with her if she can’t handle Mare like you thought she could?” asks Luna. Celestia shoots her sister a look. “I am not entirely callous in my planning, if she cannot, and you do not want her on your night staff, then I will simply transfer her to the day staff. I understand she has a talent for mixing up beverages, both hot and cold, I personally can account at least that she makes excellent tea.” “Of course she can,” says Luna, rolling her eyes. Further discourse is halted by a knock on the door. “You may enter,” calls Celestia. The door opens and Cherry walks in nervously, and to Celestia’s immediate worry, Mare did not seem to be with her. “There was a slight complication on the way here,” says Cherry quickly, before Celestia can say anything, “but don’t worry, Mare is coming, she is just taking a slightly different route!” This gave some small relief to Celestia, but she has to ask. “What sort of complication?” “The kind brought about by a lack of windows in the corridor,” says a rather annoyed voice from behind them. Celestia turns and sees Mare sitting, arms crossed, in the open window. I sit regarding the the princesses with a disapproving frown, I feel they deserved it after all the kerfuffle they put me through tonight. “How did you get there?” says Luna, who is less familiar with my powers. “I climbed out a window and walked around the… What do you call that little platform that runs along the outside of the walls just under the window?” Luna scrunches up her nose in thought. “I… don’t know.” “Well that thing, anyway,” I say lamely. “Isn’t that a bit excessive?” says Celestia. “I know for a fact that you can move without starlight.” “I’d like to keep my time not existing to a minimum. If you don’t like it, install more skylights.” “There is a floor above this one.” “Not my problem,” I say, “And while I’m on it, have you no shame?” “Whatever do you mean?” says Celestia innocently. I stand up and walk over to Celestia, not that I am particularly intimidating, as even sitting down Celestia is still taller than me. “You know perfectly well what I’m talking about,” I say, pointing to the maid. “Miss Cherry, what about her? She may be a bit inexperienced, but I feel that with enough time she will be a valuable member of staff.” I aggressively point my finger at Celestia. “Don’t give me that. I know the reason you hired her is…” I suddenly remember that she is still in the room, giving me a slightly intimidated, yet curious look, “...Does she have to be here right now?” Celestia pretends to think, “I can't really think of a reason why not. What was it you were going to say now, Mare?” My outstretched arm slumps. “...Never mind,” I mutter before taking a seat, cradling my head as I lean on the table. “She mentioned this was a supper, there better be some food or I’m leaving,” I grumble. Celestia’s smile grains a barely perceptible yet irritatingly triumphant quality. “Miss Cherry, would you be so kind as to pass around the menus? They are on the trolley by the door, the white one for me and the blue ones for Luna and Mare.” Cherry, with a start, does as instructed, passing out the menus, before standing by the door fidgeting to herself. “Menus?” I ask, looking down at the document. “We like to keep our options open,” says Celestia. “Why two different menus?” I persist. “The one I am reading is the supper menu, as what I need is a light snack before bed, you and Luna are reading from the breakfast menu, as your, ehem, ‘day’ is just starting. The colours are just for ease of reference, we have many in both colours.” “Oh,” I exclaim, before picking up the menu. After a minute of silence, Celestia looks up as if to make a request, but must have noticed my deer in the headlights expression as I look at the menu. “Are you quite alright, Mare?” “I have… no idea what any of this is,” I say weakly. Indeed the menu might have well been written in a different language… In fact I think some of it is, if any of those little squiggles above the letters were any indication. Celestia looks over my shoulder and winces slightly, then sighs. “Luna what are you thinking of requesting?” Luna looks up from her menu. “Well I was considering a nice hearty bowl of porridge to start my evening, but for Mare, I might suggest the crepes be more to her taste.” “I’m not eating crepe!” I shout indignantly Celestia rolls her eyes. “A crepe is a type of prench pancake, Mare.” “Oh.” From the corner of my eye I see Cherry trying not to laugh. With our orders sorted, Cherry was sent to the kitchens to tell the chefs, with instructions to return after they were relayed. “So Mare, how are you finding your new home?” Celestia says conversationally. “Like my old one, only with more carpet and furniture, and fewer broken windows,” I say flatly. Celestia frowns. “I see.” A silence reigns, I feel the need to break it. “I still don’t get why.” “Come again?” says Celestia. “Why… as in why all this!” I exclaim raising my hands to the ceiling. “Why did you bring me back? Why did you move me? Why give me my own room? Why are you feeding me? Why all this EFFORT!? If you simply wanted me to keep hanging around, why didn’t you just wish me back, then leave me in that castle, why are you trying so hard to get close to me!” I pant slightly, feeling slightly relieved to get all that off my chest, before waiting to see if Celestia will answer. Celestia closes her eyes in thought, takes a deep breath, then opens them. “There are three reasons, one practical, one is Luna’s, and the last is mine. The first is, the castle in the forest is rather old, and masonry unmaintained has a habit of unexpectedly collapsing, I did not want to risk losing you or your meteor to a collapse.” My eyes widen slightly. Funny, considering I had watched nearly every other tower collapse, I had never considered that mine would. Rather silly in hindsight. Celestia continues. “The second is that my sister is rather enchanted with idea of a star being…” “You didn’t have to put it quite like that…” interjects Luna as she tries to avoid the weird look I’m giving her. “...And is grateful to you for having reaped her darkness,” continues Celestia, “And after she heard from a mutual friend that you have an interest in astronomy, she couldn’t help but want to get to know you.” I give a grunt, now trying to avoid Luna’s hopeful gaze. “What about your reason?” Celestia gave a smile, and unlike most of the ones I’ve seen recently, it is full of motherly warmth, yet a tinge of sadness. “You may not remember it, or have chosen to forget, but I once made you a promise, that I would find your home. After you forgot everything, you told me that promise no longer mattered, but when I finally realised what promise you were being held to, it made me think I had given up too soon.” I open my mouth to interject, but Celestia continues. “I may not be able to give you back the home you once had, even if you remembered it, that might not be in my or anyone I know’s power to do so. But that only means I should have changed my approach, instead of trying to find your old home, I should have been working on making a home for you. Instead I practically abandoned you in a derelict castle, only visiting occasionally, sometimes with an errand suited to someone of your powers, but I don’t think I ever made you feel fully welcome. By my oversight and your own mindset, you became an outsider, a stranger to the land you found yourself in. I’m not sure I can forgive myself for this, but I intend to at least set things right. So to you Mare, I make a new promise, that I will try my hardest to make you feel at home, so you never need to be alone again.” Throughout Celestia’s speech, my head slowly lowers, when she finally stops, she looks at me expectantly, as if awaiting judgement. I rub my eyes with my sleeve, in a futile attempt to stem the trickle of liquid from them. “You’re hopeless,” I croak softly. Celestia gives a wry smile. “I guess that makes two of us.” Celestia takes the opportunity to lightly stroke my hair, I don’t stop her, at least until I get my tears under control. By the time Cherry arrives back, I have dry eyes and a damp sleeve. “Supper will be arriving shortly.” The maid bows quickly. “Ahh Cherry, I think now is the time to discuss your new position,” says Celestia with her ‘princess knows best’ smile that immediately puts me on guard. “New position?” says Cherry slightly panicked, “Did I do something wrong, please Princess, give-” Celestia silenced her with a casual gesture. “You have done nothing wrong, my little pony, you have in fact done everything right. In bringing Mare here you have proven you can handle her… how should I put it… difficult personality, so as of tonight, I shall be giving you the position of Mare’s attendant.” Cherry stares at me dumbfounded as I give Celestia a deadpan look. “I take back every nice thought I just had about you.” Celestia gives a theatrical sigh. “Oh well, it was fine while it lasted.” “This will be your work and rec room,” Luna says, addressing Cherry, Celestia having retired to bed, while Mare had slunk off at some point after supper. “As you can see, it is right beneath Mare’s room, so if she needs you, you don’t need to walk far. It has some basic facilities, such as a small kitchen area for preparing snacks, a supply cupboard for cleaning utilities, a large bathroom and laundry area down those steps, if you ever need to freshen up. There are some hooks to keep spare uniforms and any clothes you bring in, so you can report directly here when your shift begins, rather than one of the castle's main workrooms, as your duty lies here in this tower as opposed to the castle as a whole. That bell over there is operated by a rope upstairs, so if Mare needs you she only needs to ring… There is also a hammock… I’m not sure why it is here, but feel free to use it to your own recreation should you have no pressing duties. This is your workspace and you share it with no others, so feel free to personalise it as much as it does not damage the room or impede its functions.” Cherry nods mutely, the shock not having worn off yet. “Well that is about it, now while I do need to see to some duties, none are urgent, so if there any questions you feel the need to, ask. While you are not directly serving me, you are one of the night staff, and therefore it is my responsibility to see you settled in, so you can see to your duties as quickly and efficiently as possible.” Luna awaits a response. Cherry considers the princess’s offer. While a bit more formal than her sister, Luna’s slightly more normal stature makes her feel more approachable, and she has a mercifully straightforward way of speaking. Cherry manages to untangle her vocal cords. “Only one, Princess… well, more of a request... could you tell me more about Mare?” “A reasonable request, considering you will be working with her for the foreseeable future.” Luna nods, before sighing, “Unfortunately I may be the least equipped to answer, as I have only known her for about four nights and my interactions have been very limited, but I will share as much as I can.” Luna seems to gather her thoughts for a moment, before continuing, “Suffice it to say that, despite her apparent intelligence, and having lived for over 900 years, Mare is very much a child, a very lonely one at that, and unlike myself, her loneliness is self imposed. We want to help her, but that involves breaking down the walls she has built around herself, that is in fact why we got you, to be here when we cannot.” “If you don’t mind me asking, why was I picked?” Cherry asks. “It was my sister's idea,” says Luna, “It was reasoned that a more experienced maid would not have done. Mare would push them away, you were chosen because you were the most approachable and good natured out of all the candidates. You see, we don’t simply want a maid for Mare, what we need for her is a companion, a confidant. That is what Mare needs, to simply not be alone.” Cherry looks down at her hooves. “Sounds like a rather large responsibility.” Luna gives a slightly reassuring smile. “It's not as if you will be bearing this burden entirely on your own. While not tonight, I will try and make a habit of regular visits, I will not be attending the night courts until my… regal stature returns, so I have plenty of free time until then. Not that I really expect many ponies to visit once I do.” The last part is muttered under her breath. Cherry still looks rather uncertain, so Luna adds. “You need not worry, though I have only known you for this evening, I can tell you are of a good sort, just do as your kindness tells you and you will might find a friend in Mare yet.” With that Luna makes to leave. “Although not tonight I fancy, my sister has offloaded rather a lot on young Mare, so I imagine she is not feeling particularly personable as of now. The best thing you can do for tonight is to familiarise yourself with your work space. If there is anything you need, I will be available for most of the night, so please excuse me.” And with that Luna leaves. Cherry sighs, deciding to take advantage of the hammock, and runs her mind through the events of the day. “I wonder what Mum will think of this?” she says to herself. It isn’t as if she expected being a maid in the castle would be easy, but as far as Cherry could tell, she is being held at least partially responsible for the recovery of an immortal child from some sort of unknown trauma. Luna’s words echoed in her mind, ‘Just do as your kindness tells you.’ Cherry makes up her mind, if the princesses believe in her, she will too, she will try her hardest… Starting tomorrow. Might as well take Luna’s example, after all. Mare sat pondering on the roof of one of Canterlot’s towers, something about Celestia’s speech seems to have resonated within her, with words she could not place a name or face to. “What are you talking about ----? We are here aren’t we? So don’t ever go thinking you're alone.” Well she is alone right now, so doesn’t feel the need to hide her tears. Bonus A heavy air of silence permeates the meal, and neither Luna or Celestia wishes to break it. Indeed, they might have rather chopped their hooves off than disturb that happy little bubble that Mare has built around herself. It is as if the very air glitters around her, and her eyes shimmer with childish vigor and happiness. Eventually, Mare manages to compose herself and her face returns to its default state. She then picks up the chocolate coated crepe and takes another bite. The glittering starts again.