//------------------------------// // Chapter 41 // Story: To Serve Bronies // by Fuzzy Necromancer //------------------------------// For a dozen heartbeats, nopony did anything. The ungulate herd mentality ruled. Then the unicorns sprang. This didn’t work well, because every unicorn sprang at once, and nearly all of them had been enjoying very good cocktails. Jamal had started running by the time the first unicorn left the ground. He had the athleticism of somebody for whom running has long been a survival trait. Lemon Hearts and Rarity were the first to break free of the pile-up. The earth ponies and pegasi, at least, those who hadn’t been bowled into by a staggering unicorn, didn’t know how to react to what was going on. Lemon Hearts charged ahead, while Rarity restrained herself a little, keeping her nudges gentle and murmuring apologies through frothing saliva. Jamal seemed to realize that two legs couldn’t outpace four for long. That’s when he sprang up onto Berry Punch’s back, stood up on his feet, and jumped. Rarity and Lemon Hearts were slowed down by the confused crowd, but then they remembered that they had magic. Telekinetic blasts and stunning spells strafed by Jamal. Some of the more hearty unicorns rose to their hooves and joined in the fray. Unfortunately, most of them hit fellow ponies by mistake. A few minor scuffles broke out, as earth ponies with singed manes and pegasi with flaming feathers explained the unintended unpleasantness that their unicorn brethren had caused and how it had offended them, via the medium of a high-speed facial massage with the edge of their hooves. Jamal was demonstrating the amazing speed and dexterity that can be achieved by a tailless biped. It shouldn’t be possible for something so gangly and strange to walk like that without falling over, but he did more than walk. He leapt from back to shifting equine back, then landed himself on Blossomforth. “Giddyhup!” he shouted. Blossomforth had been already on the point of bolting when things got freaky. Her wings were straining, and her legs were primed. A sharp smack to the ass and the word of command set off her already fried senses, and she took to the air. She had shot past a hail of slowing spells and a magic missile before she could start thinking. There was a two-legged creature of some kind, on her back. She turned her head around to glare at her assailant. “What the Tartarus are you, and why did you smack my ass? Like, maybe buy me a drink first?” The creature smiled at her. Its teeth were very, very white, and its small eyes were stretched as wide as they could go. “Sorry. Really sorry miss Pegasus. No offense intended, I just really needed a quick lift.” He laughed hoarsely. “You understand, right? I didn’t mean anything, um, I don’t, no offense, didn’t mean anything by it, I just really had to get out of there.” Blossomforth frowned, a bit mollified, but still perturbed by this alien creature. “You could try asking next time. How would you feel if I hopped onto your shoulders and squeezed your nipples?” The creature laughed again. It should be squinting in the wind, but its eyes were wide and unblinking. It’s furless skin was as shiny as a fresh-caught frog. “Honestly? With the kind of day I’ve been having, I think I’d just take it all in stride.” Now, if the people below had been minotaurs, or dragons, or gryphons, the fight would have escalated into a party-wide brawl. Instead, it was sticking to isolated pockets. Pinkie Pie had gotten a chorus chain of earth ponies and unicorns to join her in a rousing song. Some of the more level-headed ponies were restraining their friends, and a few unicorns had even cast spell damper nets to reduce the change of injuring innocent equines in the crossfire. Blossomforth relaxed a little, surveying the limited damage. Many of her fellow pegasi had taken wing, but cloudkicker was restraining a frothing-mouthed green unicorn she didn’t recognize with both wings. “What’s up with these guys?” Blossomforth asked. “I’ve known some of these unicorns all my life, and most of my earth pony friends don’t solve disputes with a hoof to the lower jaw.” Her hitchhiker began a roundabout, panicked explanation. When he got to the part about Twilight Sparkle trying to eat his flesh, she was so startled that she bucked in the air. She suddenly felt a lot lighter. # The good news, from Pinkie Pie’s perspective, was that somepony had caught the new human before he hit the ground. The bad news was that somepony was a huddle of hungry unicorns. Their tugging and pulling in different directions meant that, while he was in some duress, no one unicorn managed to get him into biting range. Pinkie sighed. She would try to salvage the party afterwards. Now it was time for Plan Q. # The food was squirming in the air, like a worm on a hook. Lemon Hearts tugged with her horn, but she’d never been that great at telekinesis. She’d spent her whole life around these friends, munching grass and oats and flowers, roasting apples, digging into tofu dogs and hayburgers. She’d never realized that, all this time, she’d been half-asleep. She wanted to chase stinking, grunting, screaming prey. She wanted to taste hot, salt blood in her mouth. She wanted to sheer meat from bone with her long teeth. She’d played nice with the local bears at the petting zoo, and nodded respectfully when one of the Apple family’s breeding bulls walked by. She wanted fresh, bloody food. She wanted it now, and more than anything, she wanted this one treat, the savory thing that all her senses screamed out for, that her scent and body had fine-tuned itself to seek out, eons ago, when protein was more important than manners. She could hear a rousing song about acknowledging differences and eating cupcakes. She didn’t want cupcakes right now. If she was going to sing anything, it would be a song of raw meat, and sweet sweat, and chasing her prey to exhaustion across a frozen tundra. “Hey ice-cream-cone head! Over here!” Lemon Hearts jerked around. In certain Canterlot bars, shouting that insult could get your face punched in, your hip twisted, and your genitals magically transmuted into a harmonica. The wendigo figure tore off its mask and sleeves. It revealed a…human face. “Wanna bite something?” the creature shouted. It sunk nearly-blunt teeth into the side of its arm, then jerked its mouth free, scattering drops of blood as it waved the wounded limb. “Mm-mm, it’s hoof-licking good!” Lemon Hearts released her telekinesis. She forgot about the human here. All she could sense was the pounding smell of hot, sweet blood. It reached into her hindbrain and dusted off some more long-disused instincts. She lowered her horn, cried out, and charged. The wendigo-human stalked away on stilts. Above the shouts and the fighting, Lemon Hearts might have heard the words “I really didn’t think this through!”