//------------------------------// // Chapter 65 - Unto the Looking Glass // Story: The Pony Dreadfuls // by No one is home //------------------------------// // Where do you want to go? Kai glared at the untitled message, before typing angrily. “Dammit David, this is not a funny joke right now. I’m on a crowded unairconditioned bus halfway to Upstate New York.” // What do you want? “Aside from a stable life?” The overheated human rolled his eyes as he typed. “How about my damn niece back? Think, you can hook that up? I didn’t think so?” //What are you willing to pay? “This isn’t funny, David.” The man scowled as he typed. “You know damn well I’m upset about that shit. My family disowned me. I just want to go away. //Which pony would you rather be… // A) Blue Pegasus Colt - Age 14 // B) Yellow Unicorn Mare - Age 36 // C) Grey Earth Pony Stallion - Age 23 “Fine. David, I’ll play along.” He rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Whatever weird horse-words you’re playing at better be the most cheerful, rainbow soaked bullshit in the history of ever, though.” Suddenly he became aware that he had, in fact been speaking out loud as he typed, and the Hispanic immigrant in the seat next to him was openly staring. “Don’t judge me! I’ve had a rough week. You know what, ‘A’, I’ma choose ‘A’...” And the world began to unravel around him. -=-=-=-=- “That fucking hurt!” A young pegasus colt stood shakily on the summoning platform. “Did I just have a seizure? Because it feels like I just had a seizure.” “You are here because you asked to be.” A calm unicorn mare blew an errant strand of blue and black mane out of her face. “Or maybe it was an aneurysm. That would explain a lot of shit right now.” The colt rambled as he examined himself. “Your name is Sunshine Cloudprancer and you’ve been in a terrible accident.” The mare continued. “Your parents love you very much and have spared no expense in tending to your recovery.” “No, my name is Ki, sometimes Kai…. occasional Kookoo, or Keekee, but that pisses me off.” The colt scowled in annoyance. “The date is March 31st, and Trump is president, which I probably shouldn’t know since I’ve obviously suffered a head injury. Did the bus crash? Am I dead?” “In a very real sense, you were dead,” the mare patiently explained, “Your death left a void in Equestria, and filling these voids is my special talent.” The mare gestured at her cutie mark, an empty outline of a pony. “Now, Cloudprancer, your parents say you prefer to be called Cloud Prancer...” “No, I prefer to be called Kiki, that’s pronounced like Kaikai, but spelled like Keykey.” The colt argued. “And my parents are dead. Both of them. I have a stepdad, but he can suck a bag of dicks.” “Do we have a problem, Doctor Fetlock?” A frumpy griffon then moved into view. “Wait a minute… fetlock?” The colt laughed out loud. “I know where I am! Man, this is one crazy dream.” “He recognized you.” The gryphoness responded grimly. “He did.” Fetlock nodded. “It’s a shame really. It will be a terrible waste, having to start over. But it’s always been a risk that sooner or later this would happen.” “Wait… what?” The foal blinked in confusion. “I’m sorry I can’t send you back where you came from.” Fetlock blew aside the ill behaved wisp of mane. “It would have been better for everypony involved if you had just known random trivia about the royal family.” “Don’t forget what happened before…” The griffon spoke softly, but firmly. “I’m not a fool, Gudrun.” Fetlock chastised her business partner. “Guido! Nunzio! We have a situation.” The misplaced colt saw two burly earth ponies enter through a side door before he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head and the world went dark. -=-=-=-=- “You’ve met a horrible fate.” Ki came to, soaking wet, in a pile of mud. A quick glance revealed him to be huddled on a sand bar beneath a gigantic suspension bridge. A dull grey, goat-headed caterpillar with a mismatched antler drew in a long draw from an elaborate hookah. “Who are you?” “What the fuck?” Ki tried unsuccessfully to shake the dull ache free of his skull. “No, not what, who. Why do you always have to be dense?” The caterpillar-thing rolled his yellow eyes. “You’re Discord, right?” The colt raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “No, I’m a rare goat-a-pillar-pony.” The creature replied flatly. “Does reincarnation cause brain damage? Remind me to ask Purple Smart about that later, would you?” “So… that’s a yes?” Ki scrunched his face in confusion. “I’m pretty sure, but I’ve been up since 4 a.m., and this has really been a really confusing day, and the end of a really bad week…” “Yes. The answer is yes, I am Discord, the glorious lord of all things that are not dull and boring.” With a sigh and a snap of his fingers, Discord resumed his unnatural appearance. “I honestly don’t know why I keep bothering with you, especially after that last performance. I mean who just ceases to exist right before the big boss fight?” “Wait… Are you talking about Train Wreck?” The question was almost rhetorical. “Like, my fictional self insert OC, Train Wreck?” “Well, I was curious before, but now I’m certain. All this dying has put a strain on your already dubious grasp of reality.” The draconequus clucked his tongue. “The things I go through… I swear I wouldn’t even bother if it wasn’t for Pinkie Pie. But if she finds out I left her niece in Tartarus without adult...ish… supervision… well, let’s just say game night would get a might awkward down Ponyville way. Well, off you go then!” “Wait! What the hell?!?!” “Now you’re getting the idea!” Discord grinned as he snapped reality out of existence. -=-=-=-=- He stood there watching the sleeping insectile pony for what seemed like the longest time. The cage swung gently over the seemingly endless abyss, but if he was honest with himself, his surroundings were not even on the top ten list of odd occurrences that day. But the creature quietly sobbing in her sleep before him in her nest of books and broken toys easily topped said list. She was more than familiar… she was… quite literally everything he had imagined she would be...