//------------------------------// // 8 - Only The Beginning // Story: Shadows Within the Heart // by Oddling //------------------------------// The new dawn was a bittersweet moment for the citizens of Equestria. As the sun crested over the horizon it brought forth hope and relief that Princess Celestia was alive and well and that things could continue to be harmonious. Yet the remnants of Luna’s moon still floated in the sky, a reminder that danger still lurked somewhere in the beyond… watching… waiting… biding his time before his return. Despite the fact that hope still fluttered in the hearts of those who lived on Equus, all was not well. The group of ponies that had gone out in search of the Effigy of Solaris had just arrived in the center of Canterlot Castle’s throne room via teleportation. The guards present had quickly turned to see who had arrived, smiles adorning their normally stoic faces once they recognized Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Yet whatever joy they had felt soon vanished as they took in the condition of the group. Not a single member of the party held a smile, not even the Element of Laughter. The guard with the most seniority stepped forth and greeted Celestia with a crisp salute. “Your Majesty.” The sun princess barely registered the guard’s approach as her ears flicked and she spared him a brief glance. Realizing where she was, Celestia lifted her head regally. “Guard, I want security increased all across Canterlot. Boost the patrols and establish regular contact with all major cities across Equestria. I also want one of the larger halls prepared so that We may address all those who might be concerned with the events that took place last night.” The guard clicked his rear hooves together while keeping his other hoof up in a steady salute. “Your Highness, measures for increased security have already been established. I’ll relay the command to open contact with the outlying posts as well as to gather any and all information regarding the occurrence last night from law enforcement agencies.” Celestia gave a curt nod before looking to her sister. Luna was not in good shape… then again, neither were any of the others. Twilight was nearly exhausted from using up so much of her magic, just like Celestia and Luna were. They had used up almost everything they had to get the group back safely to the castle. Celestia’s eyes slowly trailed over to rest on Mathew. He had been silent since he had stopped crying and his body had shifted back to that of a pitch black Alicorn. The last words that had come out of him still bothered her… "Mathew?” Luna asked as she slowly approached the still crying human. Mathew slowly looked up. A deep pain filled his golden brown, draconic eyes as he and Luna looked at one another. Luna stepped closer, lowering her head to gently nuzzle against Mathew’s cheek. Mathew gently reached up and hugged Luna in return as fresh tears streamed down his face. “Why are you unwell, Mathew? You succeeded in repelling Absolution…” Mathew’s chest shuddered and he grit his teeth in an effort to suppress another sob. Rainbow Dash floated over to land gently beside them. “Yeah, Mathew. What’s got you so bummed out? I mean… shouldn’t we be happy that he ran off with his tail between his legs? What gives, big guy?” she asked with notable concern for her friend. All eyes turned expectantly toward Mathew. The human slowly took in a shuddering breath before another tear cascaded down his cheek. He looked to Twilight, then to Celestia, before eventually landing on Luna. Sorrow slammed into him yet again, but he managed to hold his composure enough to not break down crying once more. Steeling himself as best he could, Mathew worked his jaw a few times before saying, “It wasn’t worth the price.” Looking to Mathew now, Celestia still was unsure what he meant, but something in her heart told her she did not wish to know the extent of that answer. Celestia had her suspicions, but she dared not delve deeper into such thoughts. She let loose a quiet sigh as she brought up a wing to rub at her temple. Her head had begun to throb and she just knew that the next few days were going to be overly taxing for her and Luna. Luna and Applejack gently coaxed Mathew up from the floor while Princess Twilight watched from the edge of the group. Rainbow glanced over to him as well, but she was unsure if it was a good time to offer him her emotional support. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity had huddled together, all three too mentally drained to really think strait, much less provide comfort to anypony. Meanwhile, Celestia walked over to her throne to contemplate the situation and formulate her thoughts so that she might be better prepared for what was to come. As Mathew slowly walked between Luna and Applejack he finally started to think again… well, about other topics than what had previously consumed his thoughts. His tired eyes glanced back and forth between the two mares on his sides. If there was any consolation, it was that he had succeeded in keeping them alive. Still, it did not change the fact that he knew he had nearly killed them himself when he had reformed. To twist the dagger, he knew that he had been releasing that much power at the time, knew they had been too close for it, and yet he had allowed his rage and hatred to consume him. In that moment… Mathew had nearly thrown away Nightmare’s final gift in blind anger. The taste of bile latched onto the back of Mathew’s throat and he paused as another sob threatened to wrack his body once more. Luna and Applejack stopped and gave him looks of concern as Mathew struggled not to break down again. He had been such an arrogant fool in the past and though he thought he had improved… he was wrong. Yet again he had lost sight of what was truly important and now he was reaping the rewards of it. The pain in his heart doubled as he looked over and caught sight of Luna’s hurt expression. She wanted to help him so badly, but that was only because she didn’t know… Mathew’s eyes widened briefly as he realized that painful fact. Luna and Celestia had not yet been told of Nightmare’s fate. What would they do if they knew? Would they still see him in the same way? Would they hate him for it? There was little doubt in his own mind that Mathew hated himself for not trying harder. If he had pushed his limits further, done something more, then maybe she’d still be alive. A new wave of pain surged within Mathew’s heart as he realized that his partner was gone. No more would he hear her voice, feel her thoughts… experience her comforting emotions as she soothed his troubled mind to guide him to the best outcome. He had all of her collective experience and knowledge at his disposal now… but it wasn’t the same without her soul – her personality – HER! Nightmare… Mathew could stand it no longer. The weight of his loss had finally hit the breaking point and his eyes glazed over as he retreated into his mind. Shadows swept up and over his form and Mathew vanished from the room. Luna slowly reached out a hoof as a tear dripped down her cheek. Her beloved was in so much pain and there was nothing she could do to help him. What made it worse was that a part of her was toying with the idea that she was part of the reason for his pain. But why… why would she be cause for such a hurtful reaction? What did she do? Her attention suddenly drifted to her withers as Applejack gently placed her hoof on Luna comfortingly. Applejack was crying as well, being in a similar boat and unable to do anything for her special someone. Having witnessed the entire display, Twilight stood in her spot with a deeply thoughtful look on her face. She was positive something more was going on with Mathew, but what could it have been? Ever since that moment when she had felt the wave of hatred flow through her barrier and into her body, Twilight had this sinking feeling that something big had happened. There had been more behind the strong emotions, something covered up by all the hate and rage… something… sad… Rainbow slowly walked over to stand beside Twilight. She knew she was far from being as intelligent as her purple friend, but there was something she wanted to tell Twilight. She tentatively extended her wing out and gently brushed it against Twilight’s shoulder. Twilight looked to her friend questioningly before slight concern filtered through her expression. It was clear as day that something was on Rainbow Dash’s mind, especially since the prideful pegasus was not one to show such a deeply forlorn look. With drooping wings and folded ears, Rainbow looked Twilight in the eyes. “Do you think… maybe something bad happened to Nightmare?” she asked with a tight voice. Twilight’s eyes narrowed for a moment in thought. “What would bring you to ask that, Rainbow?” she asked. Rainbow offered Twilight a weak shrug as she looked to the floor. “I don’t know… it was a weird thought I had when that magic hit your barrier. My wings got all tingly and stuff, but… but there was like, this wave of sadness that washed over me. I almost felt like crying from it, but I was just so shocked by what was happening – it was so overwhelming. I just get this feeling though, you know… like something bad happened and that’s what’s making Mathew feel so… broken.” Twilight’s eyes slowly lost focus as she drifted in thought. Rainbow had not been the only one to feel the sadness within the anger. The sadness… there must have been a reason behind it for it to continue for this long. There was no doubt that Mathew was spiraling into a depression, but there were numerous reasons that Twilight could come up with to support why. Her lavender eyes drifted back over to where Mathew had been until a moment ago. Yet again she found herself at a loss when it came to understanding her human, now Alicorn, friend. Alicorn… it was still so strange to think of him like one of them. With a soft sigh, Twilight turned back to Rainbow and shook her head slowly. “I don’t know what any of it could mean, Rainbow. We’ll just have to wait and see if Mathew will tell us what happened. For now, I think it’s best if everypony got some rest.” Rainbow nodded and readjusted her wings to rest better against her sides. “Yeah, I guess that would be a good idea – I know I’m beat, and I only grit my teeth and hovered like a useless idiot. I’ll see ya later, Twilight…” Before Twilight could say anything further to comfort her friend and assure her, Rainbow bolted into the air and out the door down the way. Twilight sighed again before looking to the rest of her friends. Rarity offered a kind smile, but that was about all she could give at the moment. Everypony was in need of rest. Anything else would have to wait until after they had recuperated. ~~***~~ Mathew’s body slumped out of the shadows as he reappeared in the center of a very large, yet familiar room. He looked around until he spotted the scorch marks on the floor. It was in that very spot, the place he had landed all those years ago, where Nightmare had become a part of him. Walking forward unsteadily, Mathew made his way into the very center of the marks. Once there, Mathew collapsed upon the hard floor and curled into a ball as his body trembled. Mathew did what he could to hold back his sobs, but it was just another losing battle for him in the end. The last part of him that had connected him to his past on Earth, the only remaining person who truly understood him in the most intimate of ways… was gone. Forever. A humorless smirk split Mathew’s face as he realized that Nightmare’s death had actually hit him harder than when he found out his father had died. Sadness slowly bled into anger as Mathew began to hate himself for not being capable enough to save her. He missed her so much already. He wanted her back so badly. He… still needed her in his life. Mathew wasn’t ready to live a life without Nightmare in it. Without Nightmare, Mathew was just a stupid, impulsive child with no direction or self-control! A pitch-black hoof slammed into the marble floor with a loud crack. Mathew grit his teeth angrily as he forced his body upright. Yet, just as swiftly as his anger came, one of Nightmare’s memories surfaced to the forefront of his mind. Mathew’s anger subsided in a near instant. The image in his mind was one of the few times that Celestia, Luna, and Nightmare had been together at the same time for a pleasant meal in the dining hall. Nightmare was so happy to be able to share such a simple experience with her daughter… no, daughters. There had only been one time in Nightmare’s life that had been more joyful than her time spent with Celestia and Luna. But in that room, sitting between the two young Alicorn Princesses, nothing else mattered to her. Mathew’s head slowly lowered until he was staring at his front hooves, a feeling of melancholy overtaking his emotions. In some small way, he was aware of what Nightmare had meant before she died. She did still live within him… through her memories, Mathew could still feel her motherly smile and experience her reassuring emotions as they washed through him. But it wasn’t the same. They were nothing more than memories now. He still missed her, even more than before, and he knew that his heart would ache for many nights to come. ~~***~~ The days blended together for Mathew as his grief ran its course. As he had both expected and feared, the pain in his heart faded with each passing cycle of the sun. Though he knew it was a foolish notion, Mathew was afraid that he would come to forget all about Nightmare in time. Part of him knew he was incapable of forgetting her; she had become such an integral part of him that it was impossible, but there was the small voice in the back of his mind that whispered little things to say otherwise. It was that same little voice that said her death was all because of his being too weak to stop her death. Funnily enough, as time passed that little voice had started to sound more and more like Absolution… and it was beginning to really grate on Mathew’s last nerves. “Mathew?” came Luna’s voice from beside him. Mathew’s thoughts halted instantly and he looked over to his marefriend. The two had decided it might be helpful for Mathew if they went out into the garden to enjoy a tea break. They had picked out a spot beside a small pond, beneath a grand weeping willow tree. The scene was very lovely, but as with every other time before, Mathew’s thoughts just refused to settle for long. His head lowered slightly and he closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I was lost in thought again…” he said softly. Luna closed the distance between them and gently nuzzled his cheek. “Worry not, Mathew. It is not easy to move past something like this…” she said as tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. Mathew nodded weakly. Again his heart ached, but this time from a new sorrow. It had not been easy telling Luna about Nightmare’s fate, and having Celestia present had added to the experience. It had started from a simple question… ”Mathew… what does my mother think about the situation we now face?” That simple question had hit Mathew hard. He was fully prepared to lie to them, but he knew it would only make them hate him more if he lied about Nightmare’s death. So instead, Mathew had taken in a deep breath through his nose before he hung his head. He said that Nightmare no longer had the ability to say. Luna had been shocked by his answer and confused as to what it meant, but Celestia’s expression seemed to show that whatever she had suspected had been close to the truth. Celestia’s ears had drooped slightly and she fell into an emptiness within her while Luna asked for clarification. Mathew’s self-loathing hit new levels as he explained what had happened after Absolution’s blast had destroyed his body. By the time his explanation had come to its end, Luna was a sobbing mess against his side and Celestia was… distant. Anger burned in her eyes while she glared at him, but there was also something else behind her gaze. Sadly, Mathew had not gotten the chance to know what it was that Celestia felt about the way things turned out for she left the room before Mathew could try and offer her whatever comfort he could. Mathew knew that Celestia had been upset about how things had played out. Whether her anger was toward Mathew, Absolution, or both, had yet to be determined. All he could do now was let the sisters come to terms with what had happened… while he continued to suffer inside every time his mind drifted back to the subject. Mathew sighed and nuzzled into Luna’s cheek. “I’m sorry…” he whispered again. Luna swallowed a lump in her throat as she returned Mathew’s nuzzle. “I know, but I do not hold you responsible. Mother did what she did for a reason, Mathew. I cannot be angry… not completely. I just wish I had gotten the chance to say goodbye,” she said quietly. Mathew let out another shuddering breath as he nodded. “Yeah… but I wish I had never been forced to say goodbye to her. I really miss her…” “Me too…” ~~***~~ “Heheheh… how sweet. Two young lovers, comforting each other in their time of need,” Absolution mused to himself as he floated within the safety of his personal pocket dimension. The old god looked down to the rest of his body, noticing that he had yet to fully heal from the last attack he had suffered from Mathew’s rage. It had been ages since the last time he had been injured like that. His burning gaze drifted back up to the portal he was using to view his prey through. Absolution simply watched Mathew for a long time, his mind wandering through scenario after scenario of how he could find amusement from the new demigod. Unlike Absolution, Mathew had not been reborn as a true god. This meant that he had to be careful in how he dealt with the young demigod; otherwise he might lose a source of fun too soon. Though it would have been satisfying to simply swat Mathew like the bug he was, it wouldn’t have provided anything worthy of Absolution’s time and effort to accomplish that. No… what Absolution wanted was to enjoy the continued suffering of his newest toy. But how? All Absolution knew about Mathew was that he was a powerful new demigod who seemed to bounce back and forth between being an Alicorn and human in appearance. Wait… I wonder… A sinister smile spread across the evil god’s maw as the beginnings of a plan started to form. He would need time to accomplish what he wanted, but it would be deliciously worth the result. Absolution’s eyes flashed brightly yellow and he started to chuckle deeply. “I’m going to enjoy this, Mathew. Don’t disappoint me now...”