Philomena frowned.
If birds could frown, that is.
She frowned at her master, below her on the balcony, stuffing herself with cake. Ever since Celestia had eaten the dessert, she had become more and more distant from Philomena and more and more closer to cake. Philomena could see the beloved ruler of Equestria eat more cake than was previously known. Every night, the alicorn would finish a bird-sized portion of "real" food, then pound her hoof on the table, demanding, "Guards! Bring me some cake!"
Before this started, Celestia would unlock Philomena's cage after dinner, and the two would frolic in the evening sun before Luna raised the moon. Now, that special pet-master bonding time was being obscured by an unhealthy birthday treat.
The majestic phoenix was being upstaged by a cake. This could not happen.
Tonight was the night Philomena fought back.
She surveyed Celestia finish her bite- size meal. The princess never ate much, and was liable to skip right to the cake. Tonight, the princess actually finished her meal. She sat back, sated by the nourishment with closed eyes, chewing the last morsels of plant life. After a few minutes of this, the alicorn sat forward again. The familiar command of "Guards! Bring me cake" resonated throughout the entire pavilion.
Philomema leaned out from atop the summit of one of the castle's towers, peering down at her master, searching for her prey. At last, her quarry was sighted: a massive slice of confection, nearly as tall as the princess herself, was ferried to the ruler on the trembling knees of the guards. Philomena saw the distinctive blue and white mane among the other cake-bringers and smirked- Shining Armor was earning his pay, for sure.
Philomena spread her magnificent wings and dove from her perch with a mischievous cry. Faster and faster she dove, the wind shearing flaming feathers from her plumage as she dove. Nearing her target, Philomena pulled up sharply, coming straight towards the massive slice.
The guards didn't stand a chance. Even with the master planning of the Captain of the Royal Guard, that failed to stop the bringers of cake from being bowled over like ninepins. The guards could only watch in horror as Philomena sent the cake flying with a massive flap of her majestic, burning wings. Celestia could not save her cake, for her reflexes had been dulled by months of overriding on cake.
Philomena pulled upwards, away from the balcony, smirking as the guards attempted to clean up the remnants of Celestia's shattered dessert. The phoenix alighted on a nearby windowsill, looking at Celestia as she mourner the loss of her cake. The phoenix leaned forward, anxious to hear her loving master call out the words..
"Guards! Bring me pie!"
Philomena frowned.