//------------------------------// // Chapter XVII: Anti-Mum // Story: For His Majesty // by CrackedInkWell //------------------------------// Fancy smirked, “So… ‘King’ huh?” Blueblood blushed, “W-What?” His consort leaned back against the cushioned seat of the palanquin. It was still early in the morning and the guards were trying to hurry back to the affluent pony’s house. “When I tried to wake you up not too long ago, you called me your King?” Fancy gave a teasing grin, “So tell me, is there something I should know?” The younger unicorn’s ears folded flat against his head, his head turning ruby red. “It’s um… I meant it as a compliment.” “I already figured that. If anything, I rather like it, ‘King Fancy Pants’ has a nice melodic ring to it.” He chuckled. “But I do find it rather surprising that of all the time we’ve started going out, this was the first I heard you say it. Though it does raise several questions, such as have you ever called any of your crushes Kings or am I the first?” There was a pause between them, Blueblood still looked embarrassed. “You’re not going to drop it until I tell are you?” he shook his head. With a sigh, he confessed, “Fancy. What you did for me last night when you were really helping me, calling you a King is the highest compliment that I could ever give to a pony.” The older unicorn still wouldn’t drop his smirk, “Oh? So I’m that special?” “The fact that you just saw me at my lowest point, even if it was in a dream and that you didn’t run out on me… So short answer, yes. You are precious in my eyes that I can’t fully repay you, even if I tried.” Fancy blinked, “Wow. I’m very flattered Bluey, now that leads up to the big question.” With a serious tone, he leaned forward. “Blueblood, do you love me?” The Prince hesitated, but before he could summon up an answer, their mode of transport had stopped and settled in front of Fancy’s door. “We’re here your Highness,” a guard said as he opened the door. “Thank you,” the younger unicorn quickly got out to which his coltfriend soon followed. “I will be expecting an answer,” Fancy whispered. “But for now, let’s go say hello to Mum.” “Are you sure you want me to come?” Adjusting his monocle, he nodded, “Otherwise, she will call me a liar.” After opening the front door, they went into the dining room in which they not only found Clavier still in the house, but he was tied and gagged in a chair at one head of the table wearing an anti-magic ring on his horn. On the other with a cup of coffee in her hooves was a mare that the Prince had to do a triple take. She had a blond mane, a light rich brown coat, blue eyes, a dark purple suit with a pink turtleneck, and a tiny golden necklace. “So when I got here not too long ago,” she said as she put down the cup of coffee. “I was expecting for you to be here to have breakfast ready since I had to spend a rather uncomfortable night on the train to get here. Not only that but when I walked through the front door, I happen to find Looney Toons here as well. Of course, my first thought is that he had escaped and buried you underneath a layer of concrete in the basement. So after making sure that he doesn’t chase me with a broken bottle, throw a bowl of acid, or about to use a flamethrower on me I had him restrained and tore up the house looking for you. It wasn’t until later that I find out that you had spent the night in the castle. So with that in mind, did I happen to miss anything?” “Well good morning to you too Mum,” Fancy said dryly. Blueblood looked at his consort in disbelief. “Your… Your mother is Ms. Harshwhinny!” “While the cooks are still busy making breakfast,” she added, “how about you two sit down?” They obeyed; Harshwhinny dumped a couple spoonfuls of sugar into the mug. “You know Prince Blueblood, I was planning of trying to see you after this in hopes that I might be able to prove that those newspapers were lying as well as setting up for the next Equestria Games. So I guess while you’re here, I guess I can kill two birds with one stone.” “Okay Mum, before you go any further,” Fancy began, “How much alcohol did you drink before breakfast?” She rolled her eyes, “Only a glass of the usual brandy.” Her son moaned, his hooves rubbed his forehead. “Oh joy.” Blueblood glanced over at the bounded Clavier who tried to wave at him through the rope that was pinning him to the armrest. “Is having him tied up like that really necessary?” “Of course it’s necessary,” Harshwhinny rolled her eyes. “Frankly, Your Highness, you don’t really know what you’re dealing with. That stallion over is mentally insane. Why on our first Hearth’s Warming he decorated the tree with stuffed cats and plastic wrap while he nailed the actress that played as Princess Platinum on the roof. Or there was the time that he stuffed Fancy here inside one of those bubble things because he didn’t want him to get infected by the bugs that would eat his eyes from the inside out. Or the time he had the interior of the house to be covered from floor to ceiling in tinfoil so that the aliens won’t pick up our thoughts.” Her ex-husband from across the table muffled something. “I have to agree with dad,” Fancy said. “He is taking his medication.” His coltfriend stared at him, “How in Equestria did you understand that?” The older unicorn gave a flat look, “I had visited him at the asylum when most of the time he would be gagged so I have to learn what he was saying with something like that on.” His mother, however, snorted, “Oh please that’s how he gets you. He would take his pills for about a month just to trick you into a false sense of security and the next thing you know, he would be talking to the table lamps if Buch had written prophecies into his fugues. But that’s not why I’m here,” she leaned forward. “Fancy, what’s really going on between you and Prince Blueblood here?” “He’s my Royal Consort,” the Prince answered. However, Harshwhinny still had an unconvincing look when she turned to her son. “What did he offer you?” Fancy’s eye twitched, “I’m not being paid like a prostitute if that’s what you’re asking.” “Oh come on,” she rolled her eyes. “You ended up getting only one of two Princes in this country? This has to be too good to be remotely true. I don’t know if this is some elaborate hoax, but I cannot simply take what those papers say at face value. The sheer odds of that happening would be like being hit by lightning three times while winning the lottery and crawling out of a black hole – all on the same day.” “Yet, that’s exactly what is happening,” the son folded his arms. The mother raised an eyebrow, “Okay. Let’s say for the sake of argument that you’re right, it is true that you’re dating him. Let’s say that you’re really in love with him too, but here’s my question: How do you know that this relationship isn’t a huge mistake?” “Excuse me?” Blueblood rose with both forehooves on the table. “Was I talking to you?” Harshwhinny deadpanned. “If I wasn’t then I suggest you sit back down.” He did and she returned her attention to Fancy. “I mean, based off of what I’ve read so far, it’s all speculation if you two are an item. But you’ve clearly haven’t thought this out. If this relationship is indeed real, I honestly think that it’s a huge mistake. Forget that he’s royalty for a moment and take it from a mare that has been married a lot. If your last marriage is anything to go off of, you’ll regret the day you move in together. Son, you’re going to be in for a nightmare.” “And why is that,” her son questioned. “Because when this goes wrong, the public is undoubtedly going to place the blame entirely on you. And you’ll be lucky to have your career recover from a disaster like that.” “I must protest,” the Prince spoke up. “Ms. Harshwinny, I didn’t bribe your son into this.” The mare was about to open her mouth but he quickly added, “Or blackmailed. Or manipulated him. Or he promised a castle. Or even to entice him with me convincing Auntie Celestia in turning him into an Alicorn (believe me, I’ve tried). It’s all true, we are in a relationship, and we’ve been going out on several dates for crying out loud!” For the first time, especially to Fancy’s surprise, his mother was stunned into silence. Clavier muffled into his gagged and his son smile in acknowledgment. “I agree. Bluey really is a keeper.” Harshwinny regained her composer, “So… you’re both serious about this?” Both stallions looked at one another and nodded. Blueblood asked her if she’s against this, “Personally I don’t really care. Fancy is his own stallion so he could keep messing up until he learns his lesson.” “And what lesson would that be?” “Love is sacred.” Another stunned silence. This time only her son and her ex-husband exchanged looks of disbelief. Finally, Fancy called out, “Ms. Kettle! Bring up the whiskey; we’ve just witnessed the first sign of the apocalypse!” “Oh quit being a wussy,” his mother said. “Really Mum?” her son raised an eyebrow. “Which of your seven marriages do you considered sacred?” “Hey, I never left any of them, especially fruit loops over here,” she waved a hoof towards her ex across the table. “All of them left me. He marched out over a bar tab, your third step-father nearly bankrupt us, and the fifth one left your brother with me. And yet, I stayed with them anyway because you don’t leave your spouse. Look, son, having a relationship is like a cutie mark in that once you got it, it’s permanent. If you can’t live with a ball and chain on your flank you shouldn’t have gotten it in the first place.” She took another sip of her coffee when she muttered, “You should have learned that by now after the last one beaten you a pulp.” There was a commotion coming from the other end of the table. Clavier was fighting against the ropes, trying to rock the chair from side to side as if he was on fire. But this was not out of pain. No. This was out of rage as he was screaming into his gag. Blueblood frowned, “Okay, I had enough of this.” He said as he lit up his horn to undo the gag from coltfriend’s father’s mouth. “I don’t think you should-” Fancy quickly began but was cut off when the oldest unicorn screamed his head off. “HE DID WHAT?! HE BEATEN FANCY!!! WHERE’S THAT LOW-LIFE POMPOUS FOP OF SCUM?! I WANNA RIP THOSE VOCAL CHORDS OUT OF HIS-” that was as far as he got before his son quickly put the gag back on. The blue-maned unicorn suddenly got up and went over to his raving father, “Dad! Dad! Listen to me; I haven’t seen my ex for ten years. I’m fine dad. Really, I am. I’ve moved on. Dad, calm down.” But he wouldn’t. Servants and guards were called in to have Clavier removed and taken to a secure place until he was able to calm down. Once the father was removed, Harshwhinny downed her last cup of coffee before the servants brought in breakfast. “Well then, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way,” she said turning to the Prince. “About the next Equestria Games…”