//------------------------------// // Adolescence (Part 2) // Story: The Ditzy Diary of a Certain Pegasus // by TooShyShy //------------------------------// Dear Diary, Ponyville is smaller than I pictured it. Everything moves so much slower than in Manehattan or Canterlot or Cloudsdale. Ponies actually have a chance to pause and learn about each other. After I finish this entry, I’m going to write letters to Peaceful Skies and everypony else. I promised Time Turner I’d write him at least once a week. I wish he could have come with me and Bon-Bon, but he said he’d rather stay at school over the break and work on his secret project. There’s one bad thing about Ponyville. It’s so peaceful here that I can’t sleep! I’m used to all the noise and bustle of places like Canterlot and Cloudsdale. Or maybe I’m just too excited to sleep? I don’t know. Hopefully writing letters will help. I should get started on my letters. I hope I don’t wake up Bon-Bon. Dear Diary, I met the most amazing mare ever! Well, okay, she’s not the MOST amazing mare ever. Bon-Bon says I probably have a crush on her because I won’t stop talking about her. I’ve never had a crush before so I don’t know. All I know is that she’s amazing! Her name is Cup Cake. I met her earlier today when Bon-Bon took me to a place called Sugarcube Corner for breakfast. I didn’t know bakeries could look like sculptures. Just looking at Sugarcube Corner made me as hungry as a horse. It smells nice inside. It made me feel like I’d walked into a giant cake! Cup Cake smells nice too. She smells like flour, sugar, and perfume. In fact, I think she wears the same perfume Mom does. The scent reminds me so much of Cloudsdale. I know it’s silly, but I miss Mom’s perfume more than anything else. Bon-Bon called Cup Cake “Mrs. Cake” so I guess I have to as well. She had a big smile on her face when she saw the two of us. She gave us a discount because Bon-Bon goes there so much to discuss new candy recipes with Mrs. Cake. They were the best cupcakes I ever tasted. And Mrs. Cake was so nice! She asked me about how I liked cooking school and how I liked Ponyville. When I told her about how I’m not good at making muffins, she offered to tutor me while I’m here. Mr. Cake is nice as well. When me and Bon-Bon came in, he was handing out free samples. He let us take as many as we wanted. Even though we were only there for twenty minutes, I feel like it was the best time of my life! I can’t wait to see Mrs. Cake again. Maybe I DO have a crush on her. But that would be weird, right? I mean, she’s married! Yet I can’t stop thinking about her. Maybe it’s just because she reminds me of Mom a little. Well, it’s time for me to help Bon-Bon with dinner. I’ll write more tomorrow if I have time.\ Dear Diary, I spent most of the day with Mrs. Cake and it was invigorating! She showed me three different muffin recipes and let me choose the one I wanted to make. I wanted to impress her, so I chose the one that looked the most complicated. I’d never even heard of poppy seed muffins before. Unfortunately, I didn’t do so well. All I really learned was that I’m good at spilling poppy seeds on the floor! Other than my disastrous attempts, the day went well. Mrs. Cake let me hang around the kitchen while she worked. Even though she was busy with her baking, she was still able to talk to me. She told me all about her fillyhood and how she met Mr. Cake. I told her a lot about myself as well. I mentioned Mom and what life was like for me in Cloudsdale. Mrs. Cake asked me a lot of questions about what it’s like to be a pegasus. The weird thing is that I couldn’t really answer any of them! I’ve spent so much time on the ground that I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to fly everywhere. I fly from time to time, but nothing like how I used to. That’s good though. I’m still not a very good flyer. I told Mrs. Cake so and she said that was fine. She said ponies can’t always do what they think they’re supposed to be able to, but that doesn’t make them failures. It took me a while, but I think I get it. Mom wanted me to become a Wonderbolt and I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. But that doesn’t make me a failure! Even if I can never fly well, there are other things I’m good at. I’m good at cooking for one thing. It might not be what my Cutie Mark represents, but I’m good at it! Nopony has replied to my letters yet. I wonder if everypony is busy. I know Time Turner is. He always seems to be working harder than any other pony I know. Today was amazing. I hope the rest of my stay in Ponyville is just as great! Dear Diary, Some bad news and some good news. Good news first! I’m starting to get the hang of making muffins. She said all I need is a little bit more practice. Isn’t that great? Once I’ve mastered muffins, I’m going to bake a whole bunch of them and hand them out when I go back to school! Some additional good news: I got a letter from the school saying the break was extended to two weeks for some reason. I don’t get it, but it’s great to have some extra time off. Now the bad news: I’m sick. It’s not anything serious! But I feel lethargic and I’ve used up about two boxes of tissues already. Mrs. Cake said it’ll probably go away in a little while. I hope so. I haven’t finished exploring Ponyville! I can’t remember if I’ve ever been sick like this before. All I’ve been doing since yesterday is writing letters and reading. Bon-Bon told me to take it easy, but how can I? I’m so bored! I feel like I’ve read all of my books a thousand times each! Mrs. Cake was here this morning. She’d made me a bowl of hot soup. She sat and talked with me while I ate. Something about her being in the room made me feel like I wasn’t even sick. Before she left, she told me she’d be back tomorrow. I’m looking forward to that. I hope she brings more soup. Time Turner sent me something that I hope will help take my mind off being sick. I haven’t read the latest Hairy Trotter book, so Time Turner sent me a copy he bought for me. He said in his letter that he actually likes the Hairy Trotter series, but the time travel in it is unrealistic. I’m not sure about that. Then again, what do I know about time travel? I’m not a unicorn. His letter made me wonder about something. If I could time travel, would I? More importantly, where would I go? I guess I’d go back in time to before I left Cloudsdale. I think. I don’t know anymore. I keep saying I’d like to go back there and be with Mom like nothing ever happened, but I’m kind of unsure about it now. I’ve accomplished and discovered so much since I left Cloudsdale. Would I really trade that in to become a weather pony or something? Would I trade all of that in to be with Mom? Maybe Time Turner is right. Time travel is complicated. I feel more unsure than usual every time I think about Mrs. Cake. She’s so nice to me. Bon-Bon and all my other friends are nice as well, but Mrs. Cake is different. When I see Mrs. Cake, I imagine myself as a scared little filly crawling into bed with her because I had a nightmare. Maybe she would hold me close and tell me everything was fine and let me stay with her until I felt better. I bet Mrs. Cake wouldn’t smell like apple cider and wine like Mom does. I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m sick and it’s late. I’m sure I’ll make more sense tomorrow. Dear Diary, Mrs. Cake is acting strange. I only just now noticed when she brought me a bowl of soup. She’s not being mean or anything like that. I’m sure she’s not getting sick like I am. It’s the way she looks at me. She smiles like she always does, but there’s something really sad behind that smile. Did something bad happen? Did Mr. Cake say something that upset her? I asked Bon-Bon and she said Mrs. Cake seems normal to her. Is it just the fever? My head hurts and I feel like I’m burning up. I’m having trouble remembering some things. The diary is helping a little. I can’t remember what day it is. But at least Time Turner sent me a box! I haven’t opened it yet. I’ll do it tomorrow when my head clears a little. Dear Diary, Instead of a letter, Time Turner sent me a cassette tape! He said that since I have a fever, this will probably be a lot easier for me. He was right! In the tape, he mostly talked about his studies and how much he missed having lunch with me. I don’t think Time Turner has any other friends. Good thing he has me! When Bon-Bon gets back from the store, I’ll ask her to write him a letter of thanks for me. Mrs. Cake keeps telling me to take it easy. I’m not even supposed to be writing in this diary. I think I hear Bon-Bon right now. Better stop writing! Dear Diary, I think somepony is in the house. I don’t think it’s Bon-Bon or Mrs. Cake or anypony else I know. If it was, they would have said something. I’m alone in the house. Bon-Bon came back from the store earlier, but then she had to leave again because she forgot something. I’m supposed to be resting, but I woke up when I heard a noise downstairs. Right now I can hear somepony moving stuff around in the kitchen. What should I do? I’ve never faced a burglar before. What if they’re dangerous? What if it’s a manticore or something? Ponyville is right by the Everfree Forest, isn’t it? I want to call out, but what if that makes whoever it is mad? Maybe they don’t know I’m in the house. Could I escape out the window and get somepony? My head is swimming. I can’t think straight. Everything is fire and throbbing. It’s a manticore, isn’t it? It’s waiting for me to come downstairs. It knows I’m here. It’s playing with me. Need weapon. Celestia save me. Have to go. Bon-Bon. So hot. Where’s Bon-Bon? Gone. They’re all gone. Weapon. Celestia help me. Going downstairs. Dear Diary, My head’s finally clear enough for me to write again. Wow, that was scary! I can’t wait to write Time Turner and everypony else about what happened. They’re not going to believe it. I don’t remember too much of what happened up to a point. I think I went downstairs with my diary in my mouth? I guess I was going to use it as a weapon or something. The next thing I remember was charging into the kitchen and seeing a small shape in the corner of the room. Then I passed out. When I came to, there was a colt I’d never seen before standing over me. He had a bucket of cold water in his mouth and he looked really concerned. I can’t blame him! I was all sweaty and I guess I looked kinda crazy. The colt was really nice to me though. He brought me a wet cloth and some medicine for my fever. He even dragged me into the living room and onto the couch so I could rest. I think I fell asleep after that, because suddenly there was a bowl of soup on the coffee table in front of me and I felt a lot better. I asked the colt who he was and why he was in the house. He didn’t tell me his name, but he said he had nowhere to go and thought this place was abandoned. I probably should have called the Royal Guards. I’m always hearing stories about them finding lost fillies and colts and returning them to their homes. But this colt said he didn’t have a home, so I didn’t know what to do. I just sipped my soup and listened to him. He’s a good storyteller. He said he used to live with his parents in the city of Manehattan. But then one day, his parents both died in an accident. He had no idea what to do after that. Some ponies were going to take him away, but he ran away instead. He traveled for a long time and finally ended up in Ponyville. He’s basically been hiding and eating whatever he can find for the past few weeks. He said he wants to go to Canterlot and get so rich it won’t even matter that he’s alone. I told him Canterlot is a great place. I told him about all the ponies I met and the cool stuff I got to see. He was really impressed. After we talked for a while, he said he’d better get going. He said I was probably going to get somepony to take him away or something, so he had best get on the road. I promised I wasn’t, but he didn’t believe me! He insisted he had to go and that he’d remember me. I didn’t want him to leave empty-hoofed, so I gave him the last few bits I had saved up. It wasn’t much, but he thanked me and said he’d definitely never forget me. So now I’m in bed writing this. Bon-Bon still hasn’t come back. I can’t wait to tell her about everything that happened. The whole thing made me think about what would have happened if Peaceful Skies didn’t take me in. Would I have ended up like that colt? I hope that colt is okay. I hope he uses the bits I gave him to build a better life. I’m sure he will. He tried to act tough, but he looked so lost and alone. I wish I could have helped him more. Maybe I would have thought of a better solution if my head was clearer. It’s late. I’d better get to bed. Dear Diary, Bon-Bon was late getting home last night. I don’t think she came in until it was almost morning. I was asleep for most of the day, so I don’t know for sure. She said she met somepony she knew and they ended up talking for hours. Bon-Bon was interested in what I said about the colt, but I think she believes it was just a hallucination or a dream or something. The colt cleaned up after himself so there’s no trace he was ever here. Oh well. Even if Bon-Bon doesn’t believe me, I’m glad I met that colt. He gave me a lot to think about. Maybe I should have followed that colt. He was more alone in the world than I’ve ever been after all. We could have traveled Equestria together. I could have sent letters to Bon-Bon and the others during my travels. But I would have missed cooking school and Canterlot and seeing my friends’ faces. Would I really be able to give that up? But that colt was so nice to me and he seemed so alone. If I had gone with him, would things have been better or worse for me? Was it something Mom would have done? My fever’s almost gone now. I’m sad that I had to spend so much time in bed during what was supposed to be a fun trip. At least Mrs. Cake says she’ll bake me a whole batch of muffins once I’m fully better. And I’m not confined to my bed at all anymore. I’m writing this while looking out the window. It’s a beautiful sunny day today. I know I’ve slept a lot today, but I think I’ll take a nap until lunchtime. Mrs. Cake is bringing me some sandwiches. I hope I have good dreams. Dear Diary, I found out why Mrs. Cake is acting so weird. It’s because of something I said. But I don’t even remember saying it! It must have been back when my fever was at its worst. I feel so embarrassed. I don’t know what to say or do. I feel like I should apologize, but should I? I didn’t do anything wrong, yet I feel like I did! I don’t even know why I feel that way. It’s all so confusing. I wish I’d never gotten sick. Bon-Bon said it’s no big deal. She said it was just the fever and Mrs. Cake was probably just surprised. But I can’t help but make a big deal about it. According to Mrs. Cake, she came in to bring me my soup one night. I was half-asleep and mumbling to myself so she sat the soup on the nightstand. She touched my forehead to see how my fever was doing. And that’s when it happened. I wish I’d never asked and she’d never told me. I called Mrs. Cake “Mommy”! And that’s not the worst part. When she touched my forehead, I reached out and grabbed her and said something like “I’m sorry, Mommy!”. I’m completely mortified! I’ve never called anypony Mommy before, not even my mom! I called her Mom or Mother or stuff like that, but I don’t think I ever called her Mommy. Why would I call Mrs. Cake Mommy? I know it was the fever and everything, but I can’t let it go. I feel like I did something really bad. But I can’t apologize because that wouldn’t make sense! I want to write a letter to somepony asking what I should do, but that would make it worse. I definitely can’t write a letter to Mom and ask. Maybe Time Turner? He’s smart so he’ll know exactly what to do! I’ll write him a letter as soon as I can. Right now I have to figure out how I can face Mrs. Cake again. I have a feeling our relationship is going to be completely awkward from now on. I don’t want it to be! I’m so flustered right now. I don’t know how to fix any of this and it’s starting to get to me. Dear Diary, I went to Sugarcube Corner today. I thought I was going to have my regular baking lesson with Mrs. Cake, but Mr. Cake said she was making a delivery. He offered to do the lesson instead and I said yes. To tell the truth, I’m kind of happy Mrs. Cake wasn’t there today. Imagine how awkward it would have been! I learned a lot about Mr. Cake today. His teaching methods are a lot different from Mrs. Cake’s. He mostly just read off the recipe and let me do whatever I wanted. He didn’t say anything, even when I did something obviously wrong. He talked a lot though. He talked about how much he loves Ponyville and how he used to dream of being a Royal Guard when he was a colt. When my first batch of muffins was done, Mr. Cake walked me through the steps again and asked me a lot of questions about what I might have done wrong. He’s a good teacher, but there was a lot more talking than actual cooking. I might be getting better at making muffins. The fourth batch I made was actually somewhat edible. That’s a big improvement from the last time! Mr. Cake said I did a good job. He said that tomorrow Mrs. Cake should be able to teach me again. Should I come back tomorrow? I know I have to face Mrs. Cake eventually, but I still have no idea what I’m going to say. Time Turner hasn’t written me back. That’s kind of odd. Usually he writes back super quick. My vacation time is running out. In a few days I’ll have to go back to Canterlot. I feel like I’ve barely explored Ponyville. Even though I don’t want to talk to Mrs. Cake, I hope I at least get to see her before I leave. I haven’t known her that long, but she’s one of the best ponies I’ve ever met. Bon-Bon’s calling me to help with dinner. I’d better get going. Dear Diary, Time Turner sent me a weird letter. In fact, it wasn’t really a letter. It was just one sentence. This isn’t like Time Turner at all. Usually he sends me long letters that take me a long time to read. Is he sick or something? Anyway, the letter said “You need to talk to your mother”. There wasn’t even a Sincerely Time Turner or anything. I’m confused. Why do I need to talk to Mom? Mom didn’t do anything. Shouldn’t Time Turner want me to talk to Mrs. Cake instead? Maybe Time Turner misunderstood my letter. He’s smart, but even smart ponies make mistakes. I’m going to talk to Bon-Bon about this. I’m sure she’ll find it funny. I had another lesson with Mr. Cake today. He mostly talked while I cooked. We had a nice conversation about Ponyville and cooking school. It turns out Mr. Cake went to the same cooking school I’m going to. He told me a bunch of ghost stories about the school. One of them was about a crazy mare who haunts the library every Nightmare Night. The stories kind of scared me to be honest. I don’t have any experience with ghosts. Time Turner once told me that ghosts don’t exist, but how does he know for sure? Maybe I shouldn’t have turned all the lights off before I went to bed. Mrs. Cake was making another delivery today. That’s why Mr. Cake had to teach me again. Is she avoiding me? Mr. Cake did mention he offered to cover the deliveries, but Mrs. Cake insisted. Is she mad at me? I don’t know why she would be, but what if she is? I really want to talk to her. I want to be sure she still likes me. Maybe I should bake her some of my muffins. Mr. Cake said I’m really improving. I want to show her how far I’ve come. I haven’t heard from that colt. It hasn’t been too long, but I kind of expected him to have sent me a letter by now. I hope he’s okay. It’s cold tonight, so I hope he has somewhere warm to sleep. I hope he finds his very own Claws. Cats are great blankets! I’d better get to sleep. I’m starting to get the heebie-jeebies thinking about all those ghost stories Mr. Cake told me. Dear Diary, I only have three days left in Ponyville before I have to go home. I still haven’t had a chance to talk to Mrs. Cake. To be truthful, I haven’t been trying all that hard. I keep telling myself I’m going to leave her a note and a muffin, but am I? Mr. Cake says my baking is improving really fast. What if the next muffin I make isn’t good enough for Mrs. Cake? It has to be perfect! I’ve been thinking over what Time Turner said in his letter. I haven’t been back to Clousdale or talked to Mom face-to-face in such a long time. Maybe I should talk to her. But when would be the best time? I don’t want to intrude. I’ll write to her first. I know she doesn’t answer my letters usually, but this is important. Bon-Bon’s been spending a lot of time out of the house. She comes back later and later every time. I think she has a secret friend she doesn’t want to tell anypony about. I remember her mentioning a friend of hers who happens to be staying in Ponyville right now. They must be really good friends if Bon-Bon is spending so much time with her! I’ve been exploring Ponyville on my own lately. I’ve met so many nice ponies. I like Canterlot, but I’ve always felt like I don’t entirely fit in there. There’s so many fancy ponies who look at me weird. Everypony here seems so calm and accepting. Nopony treats me differently just because I look and act a little different than most ponies. Now that I think about it, I’ve always been just a little self-conscious about my eyes. But not a single pony here has stared at me or tried to treat me differently. I like this place. I’m off to bed. Its gotten late and I decided I’d be up extra early tomorrow. I want to be at Sugarcube Corner first thing in the morning! Dear Diary, I’m going to have to delay going back to school for a little while. It shouldn’t be more than a couple of extra days, but I definitely won’t be able to go back to school tomorrow like I was supposed to. Fortunately, I should be fine. The doctor said it’s definitely only a few days. He said this isn’t the first time he’s seen something like this. I had a little accident. Well, it technically wasn’t my fault. It was Bon-Bon’s friend. Bon-Bon finally introduced me to the pony she’s been spending so much time wit.! Her name is Lyra and she’s a unicorn. She’s kind of strange, but I can’t say I dislike her. She’s so happy-go-lucky. I came into the living room yesterday morning and Lyra was just sitting there on the couch. She has a weird way of sitting. It looks kind of uncomfortable. Lyra said her and Bon-Bon have been friends for a while. Lyra lives in Canterlot most of the time, but sometimes she visits Ponyville. She’s apparently studying the paranormal at one of those big schools in Canterlot. I didn’t know there were schools where ponies could learn about ghosts and anomalies. Bon-Bon was in the kitchen making breakfast, so it was just the two of us. We got to talking about what it’s like being a pegasus versus being a unicorn. I said that being a pegasus is fun because you can fly. Lyra said that being a unicorn is better because you can do anything. I’m not sure if that’s true though. I don’t think unicorns can do literally anything. I asked her to give me an example. So Lyra tried to turn a vase into a toad. She got sad when she couldn’t do it, so I told her it was no big deal. I can’t turn a vase into a toad either. I told Lyra that if I was a unicorn, I’d probably give myself a pair of wings so I could still fly. I said there were a few things I might change about myself if I had the magic to. Lyra asked what specifically I would change and I pointed out how I kind of didn’t like my eyes. I know none of my friends are freaked out by them or anything, but I still kind of wish they were normal. So Lyra offered to fix them for me! I didn’t think she could. She promised she could, because she used to study all these obscure kinds of magic. She promised she knew what she was doing. I didn’t entirely believe her, but I thought it would be a fun experiment. Well, the result is that I’m temporarily blind. Lyra said that to apologize, she’d let me dictate my diary entry to her. She promised not to read anything else I wrote. The doctor said everything should be fine once he takes the bandages off. I don’t know exactly why my eyes need to be bandaged though. The doctor said something about a special magic salve or something that would heal the damage done by Lyra’s spell. Lyra said she was sorry about five times. I forgive her of course. She was just trying to help. I can tell Lyra is getting tired, so I’m going to end this entry here. I need some sleep too. Dear Diary, Mrs. Cake was here when I woke up this morning. I couldn’t see her of course, but she said hello the moment I woke up. Mr. Cake visited me yesterday, but I thought Mrs. Cake wouldn’t come at all. I didn’t know what to do. I ended up staying completely quiet and letting her talk. It was an interesting conversation. Mrs. Cake said she didn’t mean to ignore me. She said the whole me calling her Mommy thing kind of scared her. She said she’d never thought of herself as a mother before, so my words gave her a lot to think about. So that’s why she was avoiding me! I understand everything now. She also said Mr. Cake gave her one of the muffins I made and she’s impressed with how far I’ve come. She said I’m going to be an awesome chef no matter what. I’ve never been so flattered in my life! I hope I can make her proud someday. I have to master that muffin recipe! Mrs. Cake left me some cinnamon buns to eat. I’m eating one right now while I dictate this to Lyra. Bon-Bon came in earlier to read me my mail. It was only two letters, one from Peaceful Skies and the other from Fly High. It was merely some general updates. I’m glad they’re doing fine. I haven’t written my letter to Mom yet. After this is all cleared up, I’ll definitely send her a letter. Something about hearing Mrs. Cake’s words made me certain I need to visit her at some point in the near future. I don’t know when my next break from school is, but I’ll be seizing the chance. I also want to see Fly High again. I miss his friendly face more and more with every letter he sends me. Lyra’s nodding off again. I guess that puts an end to this entry. Dear Diary, I got the bandages off of my eyes today. I was so happy to be able to look in the mirror to see my own eyes staring back. They’re the same as they were before the accident. I never thought I’d miss my eyes. But seeing them made me suddenly feel a lot better. These eyes might not be perfect, but they’re mine. If I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t be Derpy Hooves. And if I wasn’t Derpy Hooves, who would I be? Lyra? Lyra is nice, but I don’t think I want to be her. I want to be Derpy Hooves. Me and Bon-Bon are going back to Canterlot this afternoon. We’re getting back to school a day later than anypony else. That makes me sad, but also kind of relieved. I got to patch things up with Mrs. Cake before I left. I’m going to keep practicing making muffins when I get back to school and surprise her by sending her a batch the first chance I get. I’ve got to get going. The train for Canterlot is leaving in less than an hour. I’ve only got a few more things to pack. I’ll write more once I’m back at school. Dear Diary, I was going to wait until I got back to Canterlot before I got out my diary again, but something happened that was so amazing I had to write it down. That colt sent me a letter! A mailmare came up to me at the train station and gave it to me just as Bon-Bon and I were about to board the train. According to the letter, the colt is doing fine. He wrote about how he used the bits I gave him to buy a map and a compass. He’s been exploring Equestria ever since. He’s seen a lot of cool things he probably wouldn’t have known about if he didn’t have the map. He also said he met a filly whose also all alone in the world. They’ve started traveling together. He said that now that he’s no longer alone, he might be able to find someplace he truly belongs. I hope that colt and his new friend are okay. It sounds like they’re both having trouble finding their place in the world. I’m sure they’ll find it someday though. Maybe they’ll find a nice family to adopt them. The letter wasn’t signed, so I still don’t know the colt’s name. I do know he paid the mailmare two bits to get the letter to me. It’s going to be late by the time the train gets to Canterlot. I think I’ll take a long nap. I have a feeling I’m going to have good dreams tonight.