//------------------------------//
// Trouble on the Farm 
// Story: Now Ponies Play Doom III 
// by obake 
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	Everywhere in Ponyville asides from the boutique had been evacuated at the news of the invasion. Even if it was only two zombies, that was enough to dredge up memories of the last time Hell invaded, which was not pleasant. The only ponies outside were Dash and Big Mac, who were too impatient to wait for reinforcements. Two obese zombies would not be too much too handle, surely. If there was trouble, they could quickly run away.
They located the zombies at Sweet Apple Acres. The zombies, knowing they had been spotted, rushed into the barn, only to be assaulted by chickens and pigs. The animals had an instinct for trouble, and clawed as much as they could before scattering outside to safety. 
The zombies cursed themselves for choosing the barn to run into rather than the house. They feverishly rubbed the feathers and mud off of their clothes as they looked for any places to hide. 
“Got you!” said a winged figure, standing tall against the sunlit window. Dash charged one of the zombies, knocking it over. It was too late for stealth now. The other zombie grabbed a pitchfork in its mouth and lumbered forward, just as Big Mac busted through the front doors. 
He tackled the second zombie, causing it to lose grip of its weapon. The other kicked and punched at Dash, successfully hitting her a few times due to their close proximity. She finally flew as high as she could inside and dive bombed, flattening the ghoul on its back. It tried getting up, but Dash held it down with her weight, wailing on its head with her front hooves. It growled and growled, spitting with sharp teeth.
Meanwhile, Big Mac got on top of a stack of hay bails, waiting for his pursuant to climb its way up. To his surprise, the zombie shrugged and charged towards Dash (charged in zombie standards, anyways.) It swung its hoof around Dash's neck, catching her off guard. She gasped for air. Not willing to give up, she kept punching the face of the first zombie. 
Big Mac charged off of the hay and jump kicked the second zombie out of its grip, doing another kick to its side. Sweat poured down his forehead. As tiring as this was, he could not let Hell vermin win. He mustered his last ounce of energy and body slammed the zombie. It flattened with a loud pulp, something oozing from its burst insides. Only instead of blood, it was...sticky confetti?
Second wind got hold of Big Mac as he immediately rose and shook off the paper. Dash did a powerhouse punch to the zombie's face, her hoof sinking into it and retracting with tendrils of slime and confetti attached. “Yuck!” she said, shaking her hoof as best she could. The two zombies slowly melted into the ground, leaving only ragged clothes. 
The two ponies almost looked like they were having a good time dancing, but they were actually shaking the slime and paper off of their bodies. Big Mac spit and spat, worried he may have swallowed some of the goop. Dash wondered how they would have reacted to real blood. 
Suddenly a voice boomed out of nothingness, its origin seemingly near the ceiling. “Well, looks like you successfully passed the initial test. Congratulations.” There was the sound of slow clapping. Dash flew towards the ceiling, looking everywhere for the source. “I'm not actually in the barn, stupid.” said the voice, “I'm watching you, waiting to see if you're worthy of my presen-”
“Hey, what's with this techno setup?” said another voice.
“Dave, get out, please. I'm busy...no, don't touch anything! I said..." BZZGT! "No, that's not..." BZZGT! "I'll be back later.” 
Dash and Big Mac looked at each other, puzzled. Dash kicked at the ceiling in frustration, hitting it hard enough to create a huge hole. She was going to blame that on the zombies, for sure.

Meanwhile at the boutique, initial shock wore off and was replaced with an air of suspicion. “What?” Discord asked, “am I not allowed to visit once in a blue moon?” He transformed into a smaller version of himself sitting atop a floating blue crescent. He waved exaggeratedly towards Fluttershy. 
Scootaloo slogged down the stairs, rubbing her eyes. “What's all this fuss- oh, hey Discord.”
“Scoots!” Discord conjured himself back to normal, only now wearing a Doom marine's helmet. “Somepony has the courtesy to say hi.” 
“Yeah. I guess you heard-”
“Heard? Heard!?” said Discord. His helmet disappeared. “You mean Dash got a letter from Hell, and now overweight zombies are running amok in town? Why, I haven't heard that.”
Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “No need for sarcasm.”
Rarity piped in. “Just what do you want-” 
Discord put a finger to her lips. “I may have been guilty of helping bring Hell to Equestria last time, but I swear by almighty Celestia that this time I am innocent!” 
“Uh-huh.” said Pinkie. 
“I'm serious. Look.” Discord snapped a finger, and a letter appeared out of thin air, falling onto the table with a thump. Its appearance was similar to that of the letter Dash had received. Again, it was written in code. 
Applejack puzzled over it. She turned to Scootaloo. “Can ya' translate this?”
“Sorry,” said Scootaloo, lowering her head, “these ciphers appear to be different than the other ones.”
“Ciph whats?” asked Applejack.
Discord huddled between Pinkie and Fluttershy. “No need to wrack your minds, fillies, I already know what it says. In short, Hell's new leader, Betruger, wants me to join his forces.” 
“You-” 
Rarity was interrupted again. “I'm not joining him.” Discord appeared next to Fluttershy. “Flutters is too good a friend to betray. Isn't that right?” He bearhugged her. 
“Pl-ease, sto-op” she said.
He let go, letting her catch her breath. Rarity glared at him. “How can we trust you?” 
“You'll just have to.” he said. His grin faded into a more serious expression. “By the way, no need to worry about Dash and Big Mac. They just defeated Betruger's test zombies.” 
“His what!?” shouted everypony in unison.
“His test zombies. Do I need to spell it out for you?” 
Discord conjured himself up in costume as a teacher next to a blackboard. He slowly wrote down the words “test zombies.” 
“We know what ya said!” said Applejack, “Please just explain what in tarnations-”
“Alright, alright.” said Discord, rolling his eyes “No need to shout. In my letter from Hell, Betruger said he'll be sending a few test monsters just to make sure you're a worthy match.” 
Scootaloo stared at the table, unsure. “You mean they weren't real?” 
“Exactly.” Discord appeared next to Applejack. “You could learn a lot from Scoots, how not to shout accusations, etc.” Applejack gritted her teeth.
“Anyways,” said Discord, “the next wave will be sometime tonight. Be prepared with more than two ponies. Oh, and one other thing...” He moved closer to Applejack and Rarity, “Catch up on Doom 3 as much you can. You'll need the experience.” Discord's cackling could be heard blocks away.