Divine Entertainment

by Orthoros

61. Chaos Incarnate

“Ahh shit,” Atlas sighed.

Atlas stared down at the little eldritch bundle of cute that was currently crawling towards him on four mismatched limbs. Aside from the fact that the actual Discord just appeared after the magical SNAFU of the century, Atlas had the sneaking suspicion that Doc Brown had somehow been transformed into some pseudo-god.

“Mamma?” Baby Discord asked again, doing his best to crawl towards Atlas.

To make matters worse, it seemed Discord thought that Atlas was his mother.

Was there even anything left of Brown Diamond inside there? Whatever the case may be, Atlas made a mental note to follow the warning he’d received about runes, lest a similar fate befalls him. Or at the very least he’d make sure to stay outside of the runic array…

While Atlas thought about the various implications of the situation, tiny Discord finally arrived at his destination, which is to say, Atlas’ left front leg. The miniature Discord teetered unsteadily as he worked to stand up, he almost fell before managing to stabilize himself with his tail at the last second and wrapped his arms around the leg of his presumed mother.

“Awww…” Atlas said involuntarily.

He did look mostly harmless, vulnerable even. Maybe, just maybe, the Discord before him wasn’t evil in the slightest. If he could grow up in a controlled environment and live a fulfilled life, a lot of suffering could be averted in the future. Chaos magic could apparently bend the very fabric of reality, which would most certainly come in useful.

Atlas furrowed his brow at the thought. In the show, Discord was able to do pretty much whatever he wanted, no matter how impossible it seemed. In combination with what Atlas knew about his current situation, it would seem like Discord was able to manipulate the prison on some level. Atlas looked down at the draconequus hugging his leg, seeing him in a whole new light. Discord could be invaluable as an ally for whenever the final showdown between the gods went down… whatever that meant.

Just as he thought about this, he heard the door behind him open with a creak, immediately followed by the sound of it falling off its hinges and hitting the floor.

“Hello?” A voice called out. “Is anypony in here?”

“Over here!” Atlas called back.

He could hear two distinct sets of hooves making their way over to him. Judging by the metallic clinking sound they produced, Atlas didn’t really have to hazard a guess at the pair being guards. Soon enough, two guards came into view, running towards him as soon as they spotted him.

“Mr. Atlas? Are you okay? What happened here?” The left guard asked, his eyes scanning the vicinity and eventually landing on Discord, causing his eyebrows to reach unexplored areas on his face. “And what is that?” He said, pointing at the weird amalgamation of animal parts.

“That’s… a long story,” Atlas said, dodging the question. “More importantly, I believe my friend Starswirl over there is in need of medical assistance.”

The guards followed the direction that Atlas’ free hoof pointed at, and spotted the still unconscious Starswirl. The left guard immediately rushed over to check up on him, while the right guard stayed with Atlas.

“Where is Doc Brown? Was he here when… whatever happened here, happened?” The guard asked concerned. “I’m sorry we didn’t come sooner, but explosions aren’t exactly unusual around here, we only noticed something was wrong when we passed by on our patrol…”

“You mean you didn’t feel the earthquake?” Atlas asked incredulously.

“Earthquake?” The guard blinked owlishly at Atlas, obviously not knowing what he was talking about.

“Nevermind then,” Atlas said resigned. “As for the Doc, that’s a long story as well. But I highly suspect that this,” Atlas pointed down at Discord, “is him.”

Atlas made sure to give him the most deadpan face ever, to make sure that the guard didn’t assume this to be a joke. The guard, in turn, alternated between looking at baby Discord and the most serious face that had ever existed until he shook his head with a sigh.

“I guess I’ll need you to come with me and file a report on this,” the guard stated. “This is way out of my realm of expertise, and I’m sure the higher ups would want to know about this.”

“Alright, but what about Starswirl?” Atlas asked, looking over to where the other guard was inspecting the unconscious unicorn.

“He’s in good hooves, my partner has a medical background,” the guard explained. “Please follow me.”

His worries placated, for now, Atlas attempted to walk with the guard but found it to be a lot harder than usual, considering something heavy was clinging to his left leg. He looked down, his eyes meeting Discord’s, which was looking up curiously.

“Could you, like… not?” Atlas asked, unsure of what to do.

Discord’s answer to the question was to just turn his head in confusion, reminding Atlas of a small puppy. With a sigh, Atlas channeled a small amount of magic through his horn as a test and found that the pain was mostly gone now. So he plucked Discord from his leg with telekinesis and transferred him to his back, where he immediately curled up and fell asleep. Glad that “Spike Tactics” worked on Draconequus babies too, Atlas followed after the waiting guard. If he had to lug Discord around, he’d at least make it more comfortable for both of them.

As they left the building, Atlas looked back at the lab. The building looked like it had aged by a few centuries, with nobody looking after it. The roof had collapsed, all the windows were broken and shards of glass and pieces of the walls littered the snow. Doc Brown was at least for the moment presumably gone for good, replaced with an unpredictable wildcard and Atlas blamed himself for it.

The signs were there, maybe he could have done something if he’d just been there for his friend. Now that he thought back on the past few weeks, months even, he really should have noticed that something was wrong with Brown Diamond. If only he had seen the signs...

Hindsight was a bitch.

Atlas strode through a hallway in one of the kingdoms many hospitals. He was awfully familiar with it since he had been admitted a few times here and he associated some unpleasant memories with the place. The smell of disinfectant permeated the building, and was irritating his sensitive nose as he passed by nurses, doctors, and patients alike; quite a few recognizing and greeting him with a smile.

His destination was the room at the very end of this particular hallway, where Starswirl was currently recovering. Apparently, he’d suffered from severe magical exhaustion, combined with some slight head trauma from a bit of collapsing roof that had landed on him. The injuries weren’t too serious, but the doctors decided to keep him for observation over the next couple days just in case.

Atlas, on the other hand, was still dealing with a constant headache he’d had since yesterday. The scientists they met after the accident were extremely interested in the draconequus, and wanted to study him. Since Atlas had some bad memories concerning overeager scientists, he high-tailed it out of there as soon as he was allowed to, leaving behind a crying Discord that was calling for his ‘momma.’

Just one more thing on the list of things Atlas didn’t really want to deal with.

Arriving at his destination, he knocked a few times before opening the door and entering into the sparsely furnished room. Of the four beds inside, three were currently occupied, the unicorns occupying them briefly looking up in excitement when Atlas entered, before being disappointed that the visitor wasn’t for them. Staying at a hospital could get extremely boring, especially when no one had invented devices like the phone or laptop yet.

Aside from a short acknowledging nod, Atlas ignored them and made his way over to Starswirl’s bed, next to the window, only to find he already had a visitor.

Starswirl was currently engaged in a lively discussion with a young looking mare. Her coat was a pure white and her mane a two-toned green, with the darker color being more prominent. Two bright green clovers rested on her flanks, giving Atlas an idea of who she might be.

Just then, Starswirl spotted Atlas coming towards them and excitedly waved him over.

“Atlas!” He exclaimed happily. “Good to see you in one piece! Nopony wanted to tell me what happened after the explosion, I was beginning to fear the worst.”

“Don’t you worry, all of my limbs are still firmly attached where they should be,” Atlas chuckled and sat down next to the mare. “Which I’m afraid, I can’t say about Brown Diamond…”

“Oh,” Starswirl's face adopted a more sober expression, “what happened to him?”

“The spell went haywire and apparently everything within its area of effect was melded together into one being…”

“So all the animals…” Starswirl left the question unfinished as he thought about the implications.

“I’m afraid Doc Brown is gone, instead we have to deal with a completely new kind of...being that took his place,” Atlas explained somberly. “It seems to be sapient, but behaves like a little foal, barely able to talk…” Atlas paused for dramatic effect, “and it seems to think I’m it’s mother,” he deadpanned.

Starswirl barely suppressed a laugh and Atlas could see the presumed Clover shaking slightly, apparently holding back her mirth as well.

“That’s… that’s terrible,” Starswirl said, although his face betrayed his words. It took him a few moments, but he sobered up after a while. “What are they doing with it?”

“I presume there’s a swarm of knowledge-hungry researchers all over the poor thing,” Atlas said. “Trust me, those guys don’t really play nice when they want to know something…” He shuddered.

Anal was supposed to be a fun and intimate thing.

“I guess we’ll have to wait until they have their first results until we know what’s going on exactly,” Starswirl said. “While we have to wait anyway, why don’t I introduce you to my daughter, Clover? I believe I haven’t mentioned her yet.”

If Atlas had been drinking something, the liquid would leave his mouth under great pressure right now. As it was, the only sign of his surprise was a slight twitch of his right eye.

“Well, that’s one headcanon gone…” Atlas muttered under his breath.

“Hi, I’m Clover,” the mare introduced herself again, holding out her hoof. “Pleased to meet you, my father has told me some good things about you.”

Clover smiled brightly as Atlas shook her hoof, his mind thoroughly blown. He’d have to adjust his notebook after what he just learned.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Atlas replied.

“I’ve told her about our discussions, and she’s told me that she’d be greatly interested in learning more about runes as well,” Starswirl explained. “The information you’ve put out was scarce after all.”

“Well, the craft is far from being perfected yet. We’ll still have to do a lot more tests to make the techniques a public domain.” Atlas retorted.

“Didn’t stop you from selling stuff made with them, though,” Clover replied with a smirk.

“We did put a warning label on it that says to not try and recreate it,” Atlas defended himself.

“Didn’t stop a lot of ponies from trying,” Starswirl said, “I know quite a few unicorns that had patches of fur burned off from the resulting explosions.”

All of them broke out in a bout of laughter at the expense of overly curious individuals.

“So what’s your field of expertise?” Atlas asked Clover, interested in learning more about Starswirl's daughter.

“I don’t really have one,” Clover stated. “I have a magic affinity and just kind of dabble in anything that seems interesting. My father gives me a lot of private lessons after school, so I guess you could say I’m his apprentice?” She looked towards her father with a questioning look.

“I mean, I guess?” Starswirl answered and furrowed his brows in thought. “I never really thought about it that way.”

“Alright,” Atlas said. At least that part fit the canon description. “So what are you studying right now?”

“High-level manipulation spells,” Clover answered. “I also do a bit of foalsitting on the side.”

“How old are you again?” Atlas asked curiously.

“I’m twenty-four,” Clover answered diligently.

“Wow, that’s pretty early to be studying high-level spells,” Atlas commented with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, my Clover is a clever girl!” Starswirl proclaimed proudly. “She mastered illusions when she was only seventeen!”

“Impressive,” Atlas said intrigued. “So why the foalsitting? Wouldn’t you be better off studying or researching more?”

Just then, a ruckus outside their door interrupted their conversation. They could hear ponies yelling something, but couldn’t really make out what was said. The shouts were accompanied by the laughter of what sounded like a young child and things falling over. Apparently, someone's foal was having a little too much fun out there.

“Please wait for us, your highness!”

Atlas shot his friend a confused look who just stared back at him smiling. What the hell was royalty doing in the hospital? Just as Atlas asked himself that question the door to their room flew open with a crash, startling the occupants. A young filly with a white coat and pink, curly hair rocketed into the room, making a bee-line for Clover.

“Clover!” She called out with excitement in her voice.

“Platinum!” Clover called back and opened her forelegs wide to allow the filly to jump into the hug, which she promptly did to the effect of almost knocking Clover over with her speed.

Atlas was still processing what exactly was happening when two out of breath guards rounded into their room, looking around frantically for something. Their eyes landed on the filly in Clover’s embrace laughing happily and both of them let out a sigh of relief.

“Your highness, please don’t run off like that,” one of the guards reprimanded the filly as they walked over to their little gathering. “We can’t protect you like this.”

“You don’t need to protect me!” The filly exclaimed proudly. “I’m too fast for anypony to catch me.”

Atlas was confused as all hell. He couldn’t understand why the royal foal, of all ponies, would storm into Starswirl's hospital room and act so friendly towards Clover as if they were the bestest of friends. Starswirl, on the other hand, was looking on with mirth, especially enjoying the confusion written all over Atlas’ face.

“I’m sorry Lord Starswirl, when she heard what happened she insisted on visiting you,” the guard explained to the bedridden unicorn.

“Oh? Don’t worry about it, it always cheers me up to see little Platinum,” Starswirl replied. “Clover as well, of course.”

“Lord Starswirl…” Atlas mouthed the words he just heard, but couldn’t quite put two and two together yet.

His eyes darted from the filly Platinum to their guards, to Starswirl, then Clover and back towards Platinum. Then Starswirl again, followed by the guards and Clover, before briefly resting on the guards again. A bird flew by the window, catching his attention, before he took some time to stare at Starswirl a little longer, then the guards and Clover again, holding the royal foal before it finally all made sense.

“Wait! You’re nobility?” Atlas asked Starswirl, accusingly pointing a hoof at his friend.

“Why yes, as is Clover by proxy,” Starswirl answered nonchalantly. “If you haven’t figured it out, Clover tends to babysit this little bundle of joy over there in her free time.”

Atlas looked towards Platinum in shock, who was eying him curiously, as if his presence was just made aware to her by his little outburst. After spending some time looking Atlas up and down, she moved out of Clover's gentle embrace and took a tentative step towards Atlas.

“Your cutie mark looks weird,” she stated matter of factly before booping his nose and returning to Clover to tell her what she had done today.

Meanwhile, Atlas’ brain decided to execute an emergency shut-down, the royal boop having been just too much after the many revelations of the last few minutes.

Atlas sat on his chair, at his table inside the living room of his home. All of these things belonged to him, but they were currently being invaded in the worst imaginable way. He took a sip of his coffee, which tasted weirdly like ice cream, as a banana flew by, flapping its peel-like wings. With a sigh, he watched as his ice cream-coffee slowly started to leak upwards and out of the cup, towards the ground.

Coincidentally, all of his furniture was currently glued to the ceiling; Atlas himself being upside down in his chair. Across the table from him was an excited Discord, giggling happily as he made his teacup perform a race against the sugar bowl which spread its contents literally everywhere. Atlas was pretty sure he even saw some of it phase through the wall and outside.

Shortly after Atlas had returned home yesterday, to recover from the mental strain the day had put on him, a knock had resounded through his empty home. After opening the door, Discord was practically shoved inside, along with a note. Whoever brought him here immediately took off running after accomplishing his task, leaving a very confused Atlas being hugged by a very happy baby Discord.

After giving up on dislodging him from his neck, he chose to ignore his happy cries of ‘Mamma! Mamma!’ and read the note. Apparently, Discord had been raising hell at the academy, crying for his mother and generally accomplishing magical feats that should by all means and purposes be, impossible. They finally gave up after a whole building was transformed into wobbly jello and decided to give the unhappy baby what it wanted.

Which was apparently Atlas, a.k.a Discords “Mother”.

Of course, having a unicorn with uncontrolled magic in one's home was pretty bad. If said unicorn was a draconequus, and said magic of the chaos type, the situation was infinitely worse. The saving grace, for now, was that nothing had blown up yet; in fact, it didn’t seem like anything had broken at all. Instead, Atlas’ furniture was disabled in other, more creative ways.

One of his cupboards was currently playing a violin, made of water mind you, in a corner, while the cutlery was apparently electing a president in the kitchen.

The spork seemed to be winning.

“Listen, Discord,” Atlas began, trying to hold a rational discussion with a small child, which just happened to be the future Lord of Chaos. “Could you please return things to normal? This has been going on all night and I’d really like to have some peace and quiet for my morning coffee.”

Atlas was aware that his point was sort of moot, since his non-coffee had long since evacuated his cup and was currently dancing ballet to the sounds of the cupboards’ concert, but he felt it necessary to bring up anyway. Discord just stared at him with eyes that were literally as big as saucers, making him look even more creepy than he already was.

“Discord?” he asked confusedly.

“Yes, Discord, that’s your name,” Atlas stated as if the draconequus should have known.

“I, Discord?” he asked, with his lion paw pointed at himself.

Atlas realized that nopony had bothered giving him a name until now. The others probably didn’t really care and Atlas just assumed his name was Discord because he knew what was going on. Should he use this opportunity to give him a less hostile name?

“Umm… no, actually your name’s… Tim.”

“I Discord!” Discord said, his tone of voice fluctuating as if it was auto-tuned.

He jumped up and down in his seat, a feat which seemed impossible considering they were currently hanging from the ceiling. Atlas had long since given up on rationalizing anything that was currently happening, but he was still being constantly surprised.

Apparently the plan to give him another name failed spectacularly, as the table between them morphed to spell the word: “Discord”. The sugar that was floating around melted into caramel and exploded like tiny brown fireworks, celebrating the occasion.

Just then, the spork declared war on the rune-fridge, attacking by throwing the forks among his people like spears.

Atlas sighed as he looked around his living room which was currently devolving into insanity.

“This is going to be a long day…”