“So,” Neptune asked the diminutive drake as they strolled through Ponyville. “When do we get pudding?”
Spike paused, slowly turned and stared at the strange mare. “Wait, wat? Pudding? We’re going to see Rarity remember? You said you’d help me out!”
“That was then, this is now, and the Nep of now demands pudding!” The mare raised a hoof dramatically, before the sudden loss of balance caused her to fall flat on her face. “Ow...”
“Karma strikes when you least expect it, but always when you want it to,” Spike snarked, helping her up. “Now, let’s go get your pudding I guess. I am kind of hungry and Rarity isn’t going anywhere.”
“That’s the spirit!” Neptune replied and clapped a hoof on his back. “Now, where in Ponytown can we get pudding?”
“Sugarcube Corner might be our best bet,” Spike replied, stumbling slightly from the blow. Neptune was pretty strong.
“Sweet treats! Let’s form a raiding team. Do we know where the Boss Room is?”
“Uh...wat?” Spike realised that he might have been dealing with a pony even stranger than Pinkie Pie. If that was even possible. Speaking of, where the heck did Pinkie go? Wasn’t she here when they left the castle?
By the time they reached the bakery, Neptune paused as she stared at the giant gingerbread-looking building.
“Oh sweet biscuits! I want one!” Neptune cried and before Spike could stop her, she dashed forward and bit down onto the nearest part.
Spike folded his arms and waited, an eyebrow raised as she stayed there like that for a moment, before she walked back over slowly, tears streaming from her eyes.
“It’s not edible,” she whined. “I’ll sue them for false advertising!”
“Let’s just go inside before you hurt yourself,” Spike sighed. “Well, anymore than you already have.” He pushed the door open, the bell above the door tinkled softly as a portly mare behind the counter waved to them.
“Oh, hello Spike dear. Who’s your little friend?”
“I’m Neptune!” she waved back as she eyed the pastries in the glass display. “Ohhh, these look super tasty! Even tastier than the outside, uhh, you can actually eat these right?”
“She tried to eat the building?” Mrs. Cake deadpanned, looking at Spike.
“Eeyup,” the drake replied, sharing her expression.
“I’d be surprised if it wasn’t for Pinkie trying that every other week,” the mare groaned. “I once joked that I’d replaced the shop with a life-sized baked replica. Now she taste tests it every Monday.”
Spike’s eyebrow seemed to be permanently affixed to the top of his forehead by this point.
“Well, enough about that, what can I do for you?” she asked.
“Pudding!!” Nep cheered. “All the pudding!”
“Yeah, one pudding for her, and I’ll have a sapphire cupcake please,” Spike said, placing a few bits on the counter. Mrs. Cake nodded and headed out into the kitchen to get the pudding from the fridge. Spike and Neptune took a seat, the pony taking a few tries to figure out exactly how to sit in a chair that was clearly aimed to seat humans.
“Ponyland is weird,” she mumbled as she just decided to YOLO and sit like a human would. It, actually worked somehow.
“Pony bodies are weirder,” she added as an afterthought.
…Neptune had a thought? Huh, who knew?”
“Aw, Narrator-dude. That’s was just cold, like Blanny cold.”
“Nep, why do you keep talking to yourself?” Spike asked. he was seriously starting to get concerned for this mare.
“I have reached a stage of enlightenment, and as a Goddess, I have access to super cool magical abilities that would blow your mind if I tried to explain them!”
“You have no idea, do you?” Spike replied.
“I totally do! Ahh, no pudding… Neppy is wasting away… I see a light…”
“You’re staring at a lamp.”
“…Oh. Well, I totes knew that,” Neptune laughed. “So what do you guys do for fun around here? Do you like video games?”
“…What are video games?”
The expression Neptune wore could be summed up in one word really…
Heartcrushing.
“Bwahahahaha! You should see your face!” Spike laughed, holding his little potbelly. “I’m just messing with you Nep. We have an arcade a few blocks away. We don’t have any at home though. Twilight says they rot your brain.”
“Ahh, Sparky’s such a buzzkill,” Neptune moaned. “Seriously, if there was anyone that was destined to be Noire’s BFF, it’d be her.”
“She’s not so bad,” Spike smiled. “She’s done a lot to help Equestria, and as a Princess, she has a lot of responsibility. Sometimes, I think she takes it a little too seriously though.”
“Yup, now I’m totally getting a Histy vibe from her.” Neptune’s head flopped onto the table and spied two mares purchasing something from Mrs. Cake. One was a tall, slender one with a light pink coat and a tan-coloured mane and tail. She had a red cross for a Cutie Mark and big, doe-like eyes.
The second was slightly smaller, wearing a long, blue coat and had her brown mane tied up into a loose ponytail with a green ribbon. Her coat shifted, revealing her Cutie Mark to be two silver gears.
“Huuuh… they look super familiar for some reason,” Neptune said as Spike’s gaze followed her direction. He didn’t recognise them, so they might have been new or just passing through.
Well, Pinkie would throw them a party regardless.
They left and Neptune shrugged. Oh well, probably wasn’t important.
Outside, the taller unicorn looked at her companion. “So, we have our lunch. Where to next Iffy?”
“Meh! I don’t really care,” the smaller pegasus mare replied. “Wanna eat in the park Compa?”
Compile Heart nodded, dragging Idea Factory off for a friendly lunch. Today was gonna be a great day!
Nepgear ran through the halls of the Basilicom. Her breath ragged as she rounded a corner and ran smack bang into someone, knocking them both to the floor. She groaned and put a hand to her head, that really hurt.
“Uh, Nepgear?”
She looked down to see IF underneath her, blushing slightly at their… compromising position.
“Kyaa!” Nepgear jumped to her feet as the smaller girl stood up.
“Well, aside from the headache, that was fun.” IF dusted off her coat and made sure none of her cellphones were broken. “Wanna explain why you're tearing through the halls like an Ancient Dragon is after you?”
“AH! That’s right!” Nepgear recalled. “I have to find Histoire. Neptune is missing!!”
“...Again?” IF seemed rather unfazed. “You sure she isn’t just skipping out on work at one of the other Basilicom’s?”
“No, I already called everyone, and none of them have seen Neptune all day,” Nepgear wailed.
“Alright, calm down,” IF sighed, placing a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “She probably fell asleep at a manga cafe with CyberCon or something. Lemme just call her cell…”
“I tried that too,” Nepgear said. “But all I get is a disconnected message.”
“Idiot probably forgot to recharge the battery,” IF muttered and spun on her heels. “Alright, let’s go and find Histoire then. She’s probably in the Sharicite room.”
“Right, let’s go then!” Nepgear nodded and ran off. She really hoped her sister was doing okay.
“Uuurrrrgghhhh…” Neptune lay on the floor, rubbing her bloated belly with a hoof. “I think I found the pudding limit of this pretty pony patooty.”
“I can’t believe you ate forty six cups of pudding,” Spike said with an exasperated sigh.
“That was our entire stock,” Mrs. Cake groaned. “So guess what I’m spending half the night making…?”
“I could ask some of the girls if they want to help,” Spike offered.
“Oh, that’s alright dear,” the mare responded. The last time Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were in the kitchen together, it resulted in a whipped cream and taffy fight.
She was still finding gunk on the ceiling…
“Alright, well tell Pinkie we said hi,” Spike said as he got down off of his chair. “Let’s go Nep. I still wanna visit Rarity.”
“Urgh! Carry me?” she asked with huge pouty eyes. Spike looked at himself, then at the mare four times his size.
“Um, no.” Spike deadpanned. “Carry yourself.”
“Oohh, that was cold Spikeorooni.” Neptune grunted and slowly pulled herself to her hooves. “So… Elusive was it?”
“Rarity,” Spike corrected her. “And she’s only the most wonderful, most beautiful, most talented pony in all of Equestria~” He floated there, hearts coming from his body as he sighed wistfully.
“Right, right… well, I should be able to help you trigger a Flag or two,” Neptune nodded. “Let’s go Spike-O.”
Spike blinked as he trotted after her. “Flag?”
Carousel Boutique, it wasn’t like any place neptune had seen before. Though it did remind her of something.
“Sooo, you have a carousel… and a little pony lives inside?” she asked the diminutive drake.
“Yeaah?” he replied as he raised a claw to knock on the door. “Why?”
“Nothing,” the mare hummed. Wow, and they say my world is full of irony and references.
During her introspection, the door opened and a gorgeous white unicorn opened the door. Neptune looked her over. Great, so was this the Vert of ponies? The gorgeous and bu--
Ohhh right. Ponies didn’t have boobs. YES! She wasn’t one of the flattest anymore.
“Oh, hello Spikey-Wikey,” Rarity cooed, rubbing the dragon’s head. “Oh, and you brought a friend?”
“Huh?” the dragon snapped out of his Rarity-fueled daydream and looked back. “O-Oh yeah. Rarity. This is Neptune. Nep, this is Lady Rarity. The most amazing, talented and beautiful unicorn in the world.”
“Huh? Izzat right?” the earth mare hummed and held out a hoof. “Well Rares. Nice ta meetcha! You can just call me Nep okay?”
“I… well if you insist,” Rarity smiled politely and shook her hoof. “The pleasure is all mine Miss Neptune. But, how is is that you know my dear Spikey here.”
“Oooh, that’s a tale for the ages,” Neptune said dramatically as they were led inside. “Full of intrigue, mystery and adventure!”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. This mare seemed… questionable.
“She fell from the sky, like, literally,” Spike deadpanned and waved a claw. “So Twi and I are taking care of her until we figure out where she came from and how to get home.”
“Duuuude,” Neptune whispered to him. “That was part of my super sneaky plan. I was gonna spin a sweet story about you saving me like some kinda hero. Get her to like you more.”
Spike’s mouth opened in a little ‘o’ shape.
“Plan B it is,” Neptune nodded. She looked around to see dresses and stuff everywhere. Ohh, so this was an outfit store? Maybe she could get some sweet armour here.
“So, what kind of stuff do you sell here?” she asked the unicorn. “Just dresses and stuff?”
Rarity’s eye gave a small twitch and she grit her teeth. “No dear. Not ‘just dresses’.I see fashion to all ponies. To bring a little colour, class and culture into the world. Why, I could even make somepony like you look like a million bits.”
“Was that an insult?” Neptune scratched her head. Oooh, hoofsies were good for scritchies~
“Hmm, perhaps I could work a little magic,” Rarity mused. “Spikey dear, would you like to help?”
“Anything for you milady,” Spike nodded and he literally floated after the pair as rarity dragged Neptune off to the back room.
And nom this scene will not include a Neppy dress up minigame.
One makeover session later, Neptune’s spiky mane had been combed into submission, and her coat also brushed and tidied. Her form was now covered in a sleek, black cocktail dress that seemed to suit her quite nicely. A slit up on side, running up her leg far enough to expose her mark on her flank. Black slippers accompanies each hoof, a single diamond set in the front of each one. And around her neck, a simple, yet elegant pearl necklace.
“Hmm, you clean up marvelously my dear,” Rarity smiled as she looked over her latest work. “Well, i am a genius, so there’s also that.”
“Ooh,” Neptune eyed herself off in a mirror. “Who’d have thought little bright eyed ponies could be sexy…” She gasped a put a hoof to her mouth. “Uhoh, furry senses tingling.”
“Hm?” Rarity was looking for a nice pair of earrings to accompany the ensemble. “Did you say something dear.”
“Kinkshaming myself,” Neptune said and sighed. “Sooo, Spike’s pretty cool huh?”
“Spikey?” Rarity turned and held up some topaz and diamond ones, before shaking her head. “What makes you say that?”
“Well, I show up out of the blue. Got no idea how I got here or how to get home… yet the little trooper becomes my good buddy. And he seems to help you out a bunch too.”
“Hm, indeed he does,” Rarity nodded as she tossed the emerald and onyx earrings aside as well. “He is every essence of a gentledrake.”
“Mhm, seems a waste not to reward the little guy every now and then,” Neptune hummed. Maybe I’ll take him out for ice-cream later.”
“That might be nice,” Rarity agreed, looking at the amethyst ones. Yes, they seemed to suit her quite well for whatever reason.
“So, I uh… kiiinda don’t have any money for this fancy dress,” Neptune said as she looked own. “Or you know, a fancy ball to wear it to.”
“That’s fine dear,” Rarity smiled. “I can hold onto it for you. I’m sure you’ll find a way to help out around town. Plenty of ponies need help after all.”
That just screamed ‘Fetch Quests’ and ‘Tedious Grinding’ Still, might go towards her Lily Ranking with this new mare. Who knows, maybe she could make other Social Links in this sleepy town.
“Thou art I,” Neppy murmured and chuckled. “Coolios, I’ll hit up the Guild and see if i can do some sidequests then.”
Rarity shook her head at the mare’s strange words. Oh well.
“Okay Spike’O. Let;s go on an adventure!” Neptune declared as the dragon nodded. On their way out, Rarity called for him and he turned, just as the mare gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“Thank you for your assistance today,” she smiled as the drake flushed deep red and fainted in a pile of love hearts.
“It’s Super Effective. One Hit KO,” Neptune chuckled. “Well, guess that’s that then.”
“Oh dear,” Rarity giggled as she lifted him onto Neptune’s back with her magic. “Do take care alright? And tell Twilight I said hello.”
“Okie Doki!” Neptune saluted as she started to head off. She wondered what sort of adventures she could have around here.
“So, what’s the plan chump?” Pirachu asked as he followed the bugpony Arfoire through the forest. Some monsters had tried to take them, but Arfoire’s magic had kept them at bay, or outright destroyed them.
“I’m thinking,” she snarled. Her anger seemed to make her magic stronger, so she was fine with remaining perpetually pissed off. “We wound up here when I attacked that idiot CPU. And if we’re here… logic dictates that she’ll be around somewhere too.”
“Think she’s a creepy-ass bug like you ar-YIPE!” he ducked as crimson flames seared the tips of his ears.
“Who knows,” she shrugged. She’d also been hungry since she got here. And no matter what she ate, it seemed to be a perpetual itch she couldn’t scratch. What she needed was information, but she wasn’t likely to get it in the middle of a forest.
“Well, wish we could get a few minions,” Pirachu sighed.
“Yes well, it’s not like one is going to appear out of thin air,” Arfoire muttered as her horn shone.
And from a massive magic circle, a loud growl emanated from it and the pair took a step back as a creature emerged. Four legs, fur and a lot of fangs.
“Ooor, maybe they might,” Arfoire noted as she looked at the Fenrir. A fanged smirked crossed her chitinous muzzle as the wolf lay her her holey hooves. Well now, wasn’t this an interesting development. “You know, I think i have a job for this one.” Her eyes and horn glowed red. “Go and find the CPU! And make sure you pick your teeth with her bones!”
“Okay, so I’ve advanced your relationship status and you levelled up,” Neptune hummed as she walked with Spike on her back. Right now they were just aimlessly wandering as Nep tried to trigger the next story event.
“We could go and see some of our other friends,” Spike suggested. “Maybe they could help you out… somehow?” It did occur that he could really figure out how any of them could help. It’s not like Applejack or Fluttershy had experience with interdimensional travel.
“Way to sound confident,” Neptune chuckled.
“Honestly, maybe if Twi can contact Starlight, she might be able to help,” Spike commented. “She’s almost as good with magic as Twilight is.”
“You ponies and your twinkly names,” Neptune giggled. “And really, I don’t mind. This is kinda like a vacation. Besides, I’m sure Histy or my super-reliable lil sister will find me eventually.”
“Wow, you’re pretty chill about this huh?” Spike said as they headed back to Twilight’s castle.
“Yuup, between the main series, and a ton of spinoffs, traversing the dimensions is no big deal,” Neptune shrugged as she kept walking. Being transformed into a tiny horse was new, but eh.
“Well if you’re not worried…” Spike sighed. “Alright, let’s head back to the castle. Maybe Twilight found something. If not, then we’ll set you up in a room and then i need to start on dinner.”
“Oh, you’re the designated chef character huh?” Neptune mused as she looked down at her hooves. One might have found it odd that she adapted so fast to being a quadruped. Eh, she was the main character.
“Well if i didn’t learn, Twi would have burned her house down by now,” Spike laughed. “And Star’s no better.”
“Aww, you’d make a good wife,” Neptune giggled before a pony ran past her, screaming. “Huh… izzat normal?”
“Honestly… a little,” Spike sighed. “I bet it’s another bunny stampede or maybe somepony spilled their soup.”
And then a group of a dozen or so ran past, screaming in a similar fashion. The pair turned and their eyes slowly widened.
“Uh, Spike’O?” Neptune gulped. “You got some reaaaaally big bunnies in this colourful town.”
“In what way that that a bunny!?” Spike yelled, pointing at the giant wolf that stalked through town. It stood at three or four times a pony’s height. A wolf coated in shaggy, dark blue fur. Long fangs protruded from the back of it’s mouth and most terrifyingly, was the massive steel claws that covered it’s front paws, long enough to cut a grown pony in two.
“Ahh, I got this,” Neptune said as she set Spike down. I’m a Goddess remember. This will be easy peasy apple pie!”
“Uh, Nep?” Spike pointed out.
“Okay, Heeerrree weee gooo!” Neptune called out. “HDD! ACTIVATE!”
Aaaaaand…
Nothing.
Zip.
“Ohh right, i forgot,” Neptune chuckled and ducked as the Fenrir took a swipe at her. “Umm, good doggy?”
ROOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!
“Time to go!” Neptune yelped and grabbed Spike, starting to book it for the castle, the massive canine hot on their hooves.
“Thiiisss suuuucks!” Neptune yelled as the mutt snapped at her tail, the mare trying to stay one step ahead. “So, what’s plan Spike?”
“Why are you asking me!?” Spike yelled back. “I don’t know what to do! Twilight and the rest are the ones that fight monsters!”
“To Pony Noire it is!” Neptune said as she booked it a bit faster. Hopefully she wouldn’t mind the new guest.
Twilight poured over tome after tome. But nothing even remotely mentioned a ‘Goddess’ or any of the scattered things that Neptune had mentioned. She’d have to sit her down and try to get some useful information out of her.
A noise got her attention. Somepony yelling from outside the castle? Twilight frowned and got to her hooves. What was it this time? A bunny stampede again?
She opened the door as Neptune and Spike ran towards her.
“It followed me home!” Neptune yelled. “But I dun wanna keep it!”
What?
Then she saw the giant wolf hot on their trail.
Oh…
Twilight really hated Tuesdays.