Horton stepped into the cell he had been escorted to for the evening. “Thank you kindly for the accommodations.” he said to the guard as they locked the door with a huff and lumbered off. The tall human took a few steps around the cell humming lightly to himself.
Some… thing… stirred in the shadows of the neighboring cell. It was almost the shape of a pony, but the horns were… a goat maybe? “Can’t you shut up? Some of us are trying to sleep!”
The pony-thing slunk into view with a feline swagger, Revealing the chitinous form of a changeling, but still slightly wrong. The black, chitinous face of a young changeling queen grinned through the bars, her smile bisecting her young face to reveal rows of shark-like teeth. Her head was crested by not one but two goat like horns. “What are ya in for?”
“Straight up murder.” Horton stated as his humming ceased and he bowed toward the new face. “How about yourself dear Diane?”
“Oooo, keep dropping spoilers like that and you’ll burn in hell.” Diane chuckled. “Never knew I was famous. How many did you kill? How many pieces did they find? Human, huh? You’re not one of the Anons? Naw, they wear the stupid masks. Did you know that if you try to put the guards head in your mouth they’ll give you tranquilizers?”
“You’re just as mad as me.” Horton stated as he stepped over and crouched in front of her. “The name is Horton, I read a little about you in the world I came from. I killed three humans, not a single piece has been found of the bodies, and because I memory is terrible dear friend, some of that terminology is lost on me.”
“Yeah,” the changeling said with a heavy slur, “You killed three of you’re own kind? Are you sure you’re not an anon?”
“I would like to think I’m not Anonomous.” Horton contemplated as he twisted and leaned into Diane’s cell. “I am the man that knows many things and yet not enough. I have a plan, but execution is required. I also know many a little song.”
Diane violently clamped her vise like jaws onto the shoulder of the unexpecting human. “I’m good at execution, murderer. I’m here for ripping apart the Nopony and all his lieutenants. Unrepentant killers. Just like me… heh… just like you, mister ‘secrets and spoilers’.”
Horton hissed lightly in pain as he listened to her talk. When she finished speaking he simply said, “I was hoping to pass this jacket on to my own off spring someday. I got it from my grandfather long ago.”
“Did you leave a will?” Diane snarled, tightening her grip. “Who sent you? I don’t know what they told you about me, but they obviously didn’t care enough to warn you about my personal space.”
“Again bad memory.” Horton told the pony attached to his shoulder, “but no one sent me and I don’t have any children yet. Now did you happen to taste of something slightly strange compared to blood.”
“Gah!” Diane spitefully ripped gouts of flesh as she snatched back her head. “Damn you! What did you poison me with?!?!”
“It’s just Sassafrass.” Horton tells her as he goes back into his cell hissing at the movement of his now highly injured shoulder. “Your lips, teeth and tough will be numb for about two weeks at most and the diaria will last probably just as long.”
“Hey what’s going on in here?!?!” A burly unicorn guard burst in. “Nightmare in the moon! We need medical help immediately!”
Diane stumbled back, foaming slightly at the mouth, “That stupid human reached in my cell and poisoned me! I was only fighting back!”
“I did nothing of the sort Deary!” Horton called out as he worked on taking off what remained of his shirt and jacket before he pulled a bandana out of the pocket and started personal first aid. “I just happen to still be covered in particles from the forest. It’s a trick I learned so that the large predators would learn to leave me alone.”
“Get the human out of here, he needs a doctor!” The guard captain dirrected the steadily arriving guards, before turning to the changeling. “You’re only hurting yourself, miss. Well, and him I guess, you definitely hurt him.”
“Jeez! Why’d you have to get of close enough for her to bite you?” One guard scolded Horton, as he carefully moved him to a gurney.
“I don’t need a doctor just bring me the medical kit.” Horton said as he got right back up from the gurney and kept working on tying the bandana to his shoulder.
“Yeah, like we’re just gonna leave you in here to bleed.” The guard rolled his eyes. “Look, it’ll go better for you if you just go along with it. That goes for you too Diane. Sheesh, what subgenius had that bright idea of putting the two psychos next to each other. Now be a good human and lay back down.”
“One request and I’ll gladly go to the medic.” Horton stated as he finished his self aid.
“What’d ya think, Cap?” The guard tossed his head in the direction of his superior.
“I don’t see the harm in it, if it’ll get him to go quietly.” The guard captain rolled his eyes. “We’ve gotta wait till someone shows up to tranq her highness over there anyway you look at it.”
“I wish to speak with The Goat.” Horton stated
“The goat?” The guard smirked. “Sure, I’ll just send him a message and I’m sure he’ll be right over. Because, you know, he’s well known for coming out and visiting complete strangers.”
“Seriously?” Another guard laughed. “Do you want an audience with Princess Cadance while you making unreasonable requests?”
“Actually,” the first guard noted, “that might be more doable. She’s in Canterlot right now. I gotta give it to you though, that’s a pretty gutsy request. Obviously, we’re not going to haul you down to a bar in Lower Canterlot.”
“Then give a message to Booksalot the Librarian and have him go get the Goat to meet me in the Medical Ward. Since I’m sure that this injury is going to take more than just a few minutes.
“Sure, yeah.” The guard rolled his eyes. “I’ll pass a note to your coltfriend in the library as soon as my shift ends. “Just relax and let us get you stitched up, okay?”
“Hey! I’ve been poisoned over here.” Diane retched in the adjacent cell.
“Again it’s Sassafrass there’s nothing to be done but wait for the symptoms to go away in a week or two.” Horton calls over to Diane before he gives the guard a death glare, “Refer to my relationship with that stallion like that again and you may find yourself waking up itching in places you didn’t even know existed.”
“Okay, tough-guy, have it your way.” The guard snorted. “From where I’m standing, you couldn’t even make a few hours for Celestia to give you a fair hearing before you picked a fight with a school-filly. A fight you lost. Honestly, this is pretty much what we expected out of her. But the Prince said he really thinks you might be reformable. From what I’ve seen… pft. You want trouble.”
“I’m gonna get out of this eventually, monkey.” Diane snickered, the slimy refuse of her sick dribbling softly from her chin. “One day, when you’re not expecting it, I’m going to peel all those tasty little spoilers right out of your ugly skull.”
“See, now you’ve got her all riled up. Jeez, Sunflare, who’s bright idea was it to put these two together in the first place?”
“Hell, I don’t know, Sky, I think they were supposed to talk things out and realize the error of their ways, you know because, ‘friendship’.” The guard captain replied drily.
“They aren’t spoilers if it’s things that have already happened.” Horton stated as he started to chuckle madly, “And whoever said we had gotten into a fight? If so then who said it was over.”