Chapter Seven: "Everyone knows ‘rainbow’ spelled backwards is ‘lesbian’.”
“So, ok, start again. You’re a cadet, not a full Wonderbolt? But Rainbow Dash is a Wonderbolt now? I thought you were in the same Academy intake?” Runway holds her head in her hooves, not fully comprehending everything.
Spitfire just grins over her milkshake, waiting for me to explain everything, as it’s obvious I may have left some details out when I first told my sister what was going on. I roll my eyes at her, and explain, “Ok, look. I got… kicked out the first year. something about a twister being a hazard to other ponies. It’s not like anyone told me we were getting a bunch of visitors, including a Princess. Well, ok, she wasn’t a Princess yet, but still. So then Rainbow Dash and a recently alicorned Princess Twilight put in a good word for me to try again next year. So I’m a year behind Dash, still technically a recruit, and Rainbow Dash was recently made a Wonderbolt. Which she just loves to point out.”
Runway looks to my captain, who just nods, still drinking milkshake, and turns to me. “So you lied.”
“...wha- I did NOT!”
“You told me you were a Wonderbolt!”
“It’s in the title! Wonderbolt Recruit!”
“Wonderbolt Recruit! That’s like saying Lady Sparklegoth was a real pegasus!”
“DON’T YOU DARE!”
Our argument is interrupted by my captain choking on her milkshake and laughing so hard it comes out her nose. “Oh my god, are you actually arguing about Glitterfriends right now? That show is for like, 5-year olds!”
Runway raises an eyebrow at her. “Then how do you know who Lady Sparklegoth is?”
I’d never seen Spitfire blush before. “Wuh- bwuh- I have… I mean, my niece watches-”
“You’re an only child,” I point out. She glares at me, her face turning a rather seasonally appropriate shade of red.
“Well… I mean, I used to watch it… some. It was… ok,” she trailed off.
Runway and I look at each other, sharing a rather rare ‘twin moment’ between us. One of those longer-than-normal seconds wherein a whole ton of information is exchanged. Or, actually, just the sentiment that ‘she totally watches the show’.
While my boss is staring longingly into her milkshake, probably debating the likelihood that she can drown herself in it, a thought occurs to me. Apparently I have a rather devious expression on my face, because I see it mirrored on Runways. We nod at each other, and gesture a little, trying to decide who should speak next. We settle on Runway.
My sister takes a few quiet, polite bites of ice cream, then muses out loud, “You know, I don’t think Chainsaddles did anything wrong.”
Captain almost launches out of her chair, “You motherfu-”
-------------------------------
“How did I get extra patrols next week?! You were the one who made her mad!”
Runway shrugs mid-stride, a talent I decidedly do not have. We’d since left the ice cream shop, and were headed to the party, finally. I’d suggested flying, but Runway had protested adamantly, as the wind would destroy our makeup (something I had been hoping for, actually). So we’re walking. “I don’t know, something to do with my adorable face?”
“We’re twins!”
“Yes, but only one of us actually works for her. She can’t actually punish me without maybe breaking a law or nine?”
I can’t argue with that. And even if I could, we probably don’t have time before we get to Kicker’s house. I recognize the street we’re on, and it’s not far. “Well, I still think it’s bullshit. I mean, who cares if she watches Glitterfriends? That show’s fuckin awesome.”
Runway nods sagely, which looks really weird on her. “Yeah, it is. I mean, did you see last weeks? Sparklegoth has been kicking some ass lately.”
“I know!” We chatter back and forth about our favorite show for a while, which lasts us about the rest of the walk. We wind down our conversation just as we see the mailbox for Cloud Kicker’s house. The house itself, of course, is a good twenty feet above our heads. One of the few distinct features of Cloudsdale: choosing your own elevation. Of course, you can’t go to high, or you might end op ten feet up someone’s tail end.
“So, I’m still kinda not used to Cloudsdale houses? How do you knock?” Runway asks.
I give her a sideways glance, and take a deep breath. “HEY KICKER!”
A familiarly gorgeous blonde pokes her head over the side of a cloud above us. “WHAT’S UP, BITCH?! GET UP HERE, IT’S PARTY TIME!” She disappears back over the edge, waving a hoof for us to follow.
Runway looks up at the cloud, then back at me. “Girl, if you don’t tap that, I might have to.”
I grin proudly. “Been there, done that. A lot.”
“Seriously?” Runway looks impressed.
“Cloud Kicker has a bit of a… reputation for being a great host. And if she can’t accommodate you, bets are someone at her party can,” I explain as we jaunt up to her front walk. The sounds of generic dance music reverberate though the windows, and I can see a large group of ponies through the glass. There’s even balloons on the door. Which is actually a staple for Cloud, despite most of her parties being distinctly not for foals and fillies. I think she just likes having an excuse to rent helium tanks. Celestia knows why.
“So what your saying is,” Runway notes as we approach, “We’re getting a thousand percent laid tonight?”
I swing open the door, and a rather welcoming scent of perfume and sugary treats greats us like a warm bearhug. Inside, there is a rather inviting crowd of mares and stallions talking amicably, dancing in a wide open room in the back, or just cuddling with drinks in a chair or couch.
I’ve actually been to Kicker’s house when she wasn’t throwing a party, and it’s almost astonishing how many chairs and couches she has. At least, until you learn she designs them for a living. Her living room doubles as a show floor. And for the most part, all of the pieces are clean. She discounts the ones that aren’t, I’ve found.
Runway’s mouth is left hanging open as she not-so-subtly scouts the “talent” available, most of which are ponies I know. I seek out Kicker, who’s chatting it up with an adorable unicorn near the kitchen, and give her a friendly wave, not wanting to step on her game. She gives me an appreciative nod, and goes back to talking, so I mosey on to the middle of the party. There’s an almost-familiar pegasus standing in a corner, looking very much like she doesn’t want to be here. Poor girl probably got dragged here by somepony who didn’t want to show up alone, but has no problem leaving her friends to go mingle.
She’s really pretty, a yellow pegasus with the longest, most gorgeous pink mane and tail I’ve ever seen. I stroll over to her, and offer a gentle smile. “Hi there. You seem a little out of place here, Ms...”
She squeaks audibly, and tries to hide behind her hair. My word she’s adorable. “Um… it’s… it’s Fluttershy.”
“Hi there, Fluttershy, I’m Lightning Dust. I’m guessing you got dragged here by a friend? Not much for parties yourself, are you?” I quirk my head to the side a little.
“Well, yes. I mean, I like parties, but not so much when I don’t really know anypony. I mean, I know Rainbow Dash means well, I just don’t think this is my kind of party. It seems a little… grown-up, and not in a way I’m comfortable with,” she explains. She stumbles slightly over a few words, but slowly gains some confidence as it becomes more apparent that I’m not a serial killer. I think.
“I can understand that. I mean, this is totally my kind of- wait. Did you say Rainbow Dash?” I do a double-take, and feel my eyes widen. Turning around, I do a quick scan of the room, and finally find the powder-blue pegasus. Who of course is talking to my sister. “I, uh… I’ll be right back.” Fluttershy nods, and goes back to nursing her drink, looking a little solemn. “Fast as I can,” I add with a wink. She blushes deeply, but I think I see the hint of a smile.
I almost scamper over to my sister and Dash, who are chatting happily. Of course, I get within three feet and Runway opens her mouth. “Hey Dust! I found you a lesbian!”
I almost trip over my own four hooves, half out of embarrassment, half out of laughter. Rainbow Dash turns a violent shade of red. “Wah- I’m not a lesbian!”
Runway rolls her eyes as I almost drag myself over to them I’m laughing so hard. “Oh please, sugar. It’s written in your main! Everyone knows ‘rainbow’ spelled backwards is ‘lesbian’.”
I have to hang on my sister I’m laughing so hard. “R-rainbow Dash. TH-this is my sister. Runway Project,” I have to pause between sentences so I can breathe. “I see you’ve been getting along well. Also, your friend in the corner looks like she’s not having the best time ever.”
Rainbow Dash gives me a familiar glance, then looks back over to Fluttershy, who’s still in her same corner drinking her same drink. She waves the yellow mare over, who joins us shortly. “How about we all find a place to talk where the entire room won’t hear you shouting?”
Kicker pops her head up behind Dash. “I suggest the bedroom on the third floor, right side, three doors down. Thick walls.”
Dash almost jumps out of her fur. “Gah! Is everypony here trying to give me a heart attack?!