//------------------------------// // Borrowed Time: Misery // Story: Imbalanced: New Age // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// [Blazing's Entry] I can't really believe it, but she remembers all the important things. Only... not how much I loved her from the start, but how I betrayed her in the end. [End Entry] "Fiddling with the diary as always, I see," Joy chuckles. Des has been uncharacteristically quiet after her first outburst, opting to listen to my confused questions and Chokey's- I mean Joy's sometimes amused, sometimes sarcastic, and sometimes downright angry answers. "Old habits die hard. Speaking of not dying, what about all this?" I wave my foreleg around to encompass Scream's old pocket dimension with the new decor. The moaning I heard the second we entered belongs to dozens of ponies, Corrupted, griffons, changelings, even few minotaurs and diamond dogs pretty clearly enjoying themselves in a massive, yet somewhat slow orgy, as if they've been at it for ages and know there's no need to rush. They are scattered around, mostly in pairs or groups. The ones who aren't are either sleeping or watching the others. Occasionally, the groups intermingle, forming new ones exploring fresh interests. One visibly exhausted male minotaur particularly has his own small harem surrounding him. As he collapses on a pile of pelts, the females and even one two stallions disperse to look around for new victim. The proceedings aren't too easy to make out in the flickering torchlight, but despite the walls of the enormous cavern being shrouded in shadows, I can feel something massive move from time to time, and watch. Joy rolls her eyes and her voice turns bored. "I guess I should tell you, if only because I know you wouldn't otherwise shut up about it," the words feel like a minotaur punching me in the stomach. She hates me so much. No, that's not right. She still loves me, or the memory of me, but she equally hates all the pain I represent. I wish I could just tell her I'd leave and never come back again, no matter how much that would hurt me, but that wouldn't help her. I don't know how to help her, because staying here, in this monument of her broken, lonely insanity, is unthinkable, "I woke up here after your father -YOUR BLOOD!- turned me to dust. I had nothing, I barely remembered how to speak and walk. It took me DAYS to get up, and all that time, all that stupid time when I drooled all over myself I waded through Scream's memories. At some points, I had no idea if I was her or if I was somepony else." I know the feeling. After all, Void did similar thing to me. "But why?" I ask. When she shoots me a furious glance, I add, "Not that I'm anything else than happy to see you, other than still completely stumped, but how did you and Scream get into contact?" "You remember that little detail about us which made ME completely reliant on YOU? The fact that your hesitant touches, kisses, the tone of your voice, and you being a little bitch in bed meant more to me, my body, my head, than the best chad earthpony gigollo with three magical dragon cocks? The reality that no matter whose pelvis I broke your mere presence was the only thing sating my sex addiction? No no no no, you forgot, didn't you? You had Cromach all of a sudden, and I could just go back to fruitlessly humping half of Canterlot guard staff. For me, you weren't just a the best pony to ever come my way, you were one hell of a drug. The curse and the cure at the same time. Scream knew the feeling, and as I later gathered from her memories, she knew she would likely die by your father's hoof too. And yet she went through with her plan. She knew Void would leave the world after her death, and she manipulated him into finally giving up and making the survival of the world the small creatures' business. However, she also knew Void better than he did know himself, and was aware that he wouldn't just leave the little ones he loved so much to fend for themselves against the gods. That, and she actually was able to occasionally see the future, something nopony else other than the alicorn of Time himself could do. And of course, Void's closest possible match for his power were you, so in order to make you more pliable in case Void's transfer of power came AFTER your death she slapped her divinity onto my DEAD, OBLITERATED SOUL. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH IT HURT?! HOW FUCKING RAW THE FEELING OF YOUR ENTIRE ESSENCE BEING PUT THROUGH A BLENDER WAS?" I actually can, very much, and telling that to that face spitting at me would be a great way to relive the experience. I have no idea how powerful Joy is, or if my ability to unravel magic which transcended into divinity could work against her, but fighting is the last thing I intend to do here. Knowing all that, I just look at the floor and sigh. "Yeah, I thought so. Perhaps she should have chosen Cromach, huh? Wouldn't you be that much happier? Oh wait, she couldn't because HE WAS STILL ALIVE! You did everything to save HIM, including dying, AND NOT ME?!" "Chokey-" "SHUT! UP! DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT AGAIN! Choking Darkness is dead. Your lack of attention, you taking her for granted, you FORGETTING HER, your ultimate betrayal killed her. You used to be the Element of Betrayal's wielder, and now I can finally see why. It's in you, you cause only pain, and if there are no enemies you can do that to, you turn on your close ones. But no, I survived Scream's torture. I even recovered enough to believe I could wait for you, or to maybe... maybe... bring you back, to make this only about the two of us again. I thought Cromach would die of old age, SCREW HIM! You know what they say, that you can see a lost lover in your foal?" She suddenly stops and sharply turns to Desert Shade. "THAT'S NOT FUCKING TRUE, YOU MISERABLE CREATURE, YOU FAILURE, YOU MISTAKE! HOW DO YOU DARE COME BACK HERE?" Des is trembling, and about to say something back, but I need to draw attention to myself before Joy kills her on the spot. "Des is your daughter?" is the best I can do. "That damn THING is... a thing, that's all," Joy kicks the floor, melting the solid stone with her hoof, "An experiment I attempted while I was still stupid and not thinking clearly." Now here's an option to say something that would end my adventure immediately. Sometimes I hate my smartass side. "An experiment?" asks Des quietly. "Yes. I dug through Scream's absurd knowledge about magic, divinity, and the mixing of the two. After all, I had enough time to do anything, really. I even believed that bastard Cromach was worth remembering! Oh, the stupid old me. I found a way to mix the purest essence of some beings which I could infuse into a golem to make it an amalgamation of memories and experiences. That was my first attempt and it was worthless. Then I discovered that as an alicorn of Lust, I could draw on the essence of all my past partners inside myself. Your divinity was still with me, a part of myself I would never get rid of, and in a much smaller way was Cromach's. From the essence of us three, I made my body bear a foal, one I eventually named Desert Shade." Suddenly it all clicks. "Desert - Cromach, Shade - Blazing Light and Choking Darkness," I mutter, " A hippogriff. Crom's bright emerald green eyes, my blond mane and tail, and your black coat. The divine cutie mark crest bearing all three of the colours." Joy continues as if I said nothing. "But it was all for nothing. The only thing I felt after she was born wasn't happiness from seeing some small part of you again, but the RIPPING AGONY as the little sack of misery made me relive all the pain of losing you one more time." "B-but none of that was my fault..." says Des in complete shock, eyes wide and voice weak. I guess she came here ready for many things, but not this utterly senseless, frothing mad hatred, "I didn't do anything to you." "That's why I didn't destroy you like I did with the golem," hisses Joy, "I took you to the orphanage, I gave you enough money to survive if you were at least a little smart, and all I wanted in return, which you clearly didn't get the hint the first time you got here, was to NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN!" "Ch- Joy, I know she isn't who you wanted, but she doesn't deserve this," I press my side against Des' who gives me a desperate glance, "She used everything you gave her to the best of her ability. If you should feel anything, then it's pride." You know the sudden feeling that you screwed up really, really hard? Yeah, that. Still, I couldn't let that slide. Des is a remarkable mare, and the fact that she's looking so stunned and defeated by sheer malice coming from her mother might be hurting me more than her. Nopony should be defined so much by what their parents did or did not want. I should know. "Pride..." Joy tilts her head and chuckles, "PRIDE?!" she freezes, eyes unfocusing and uneven grin growing on her muzzle, "You know? You're right. After all I did to keep her from ever getting here she still made it. After all this time she didn't let up and finally got here to remind me of my failure, of the ever-present pain, and she even managed to get you here. Yooooouuuuu..." The word turns into a half-hateful, half-needy growl. "Actually, Joy, the main reason for us being here was to help me." "Help you? Help you with what? Wait... you were in on this?! She wasn't using you? EVEN YOU'RE HERE JUST TO HURT ME? Even... you?" she ends up with a whisper. "The bounty," I hear Des say, "I know you are behind the bounty on his head. We want to know why you want him dead so much you would pay a small country's worth in gold. I mean, we wanted to, but now I can see you barely know your own-" "I DID NOTHING LIKE THAT, YOU LYING, CHEATING LITTLE WHORE! I SPENT SO MUCH TIME AN EFFORT TRYING TO BRING HIM BACK, AND HERE YOU ARE SPOUTING VENOM. I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM, I HATE HIM, I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM," she turns to me, head twitching, "You don't believe her, do you? Somepony you've just met. I've been by your side through thick and thin, and even after you killed me I worked so hard to have you around again. Just stay here with me. Ignore this trash, and stay here." "I know you are behind it," Des pushes further, "I had time to research your brothels, the flows of money. I bribed so many cops over the centuries, and I pieced everything together. You put a bounty on Blazing's head, and you did it even before he got resurrected. You knew the mass suicide you orchestrated would work, or... you hoped. I'm not an expert on frothing insane alicorns, and I doubt even you know why you did it, but why make Silver Sun take the blame?" "It was all HIS fault! He stole Blaze away from me. Why should I let him live? Why should Blaze let him live? After all, he would feel as betrayed as I did," Joy laughs at the nearby pillar, "Raise Blaze, get him nearly killed, blame THE CATBIRD BASTARD, and then be with my beloved forever as the only one remaining. I might even flay Cromach alive later if I feel like it." That's crazy. On the other hoof, what isn't at this point? Joy finally realizes what she said and in front of whom she said it. "But that isn't going to be an issue anymore, is it? Cromach is a mindless beast now, and I'm the only one left. It took me centuries, but I WON! I WON, I WON, I WON, I WON!" she breaks into a happy little jig which stops as abruptly as it started, "Now you can love me without distractions, Blaze, right? We can stay here, let the world rot, and finally enjoy the peace we deserve. Nothing bad will find us ever again. No pain, just me and you. Forget everything... and rest." Everything I've wanted ever since I arrived in Canterlot for the first time. Right in front of me. Broken and tainted beyond all reason. Unfortunately, I know how losing everything feels, and what the words in my head will lead to. Des is watching me, apprehensive, as if I would ever agree to this. As much as I want Chokey to be happy, to help her get out of her personal hell, the price is too high. Guiding, Cromach, Des, who would doubtlessly be a pile of gore the second I agreed. I can't. As always, my existence only caused misery, and this time it was to the last pony I ever wanted to hurt. I shake my head. "I'm sorry. If you want, I will come by often and spend time with you, but there is too much I need to do outside. I promised-" "SO THAT'S IT?! ALL THE SWEET WORDS YOU WHISPERED TO ME, ALL THE PROMISES, NOTHING MEANS ANYTHING TO YOU ANYMORE?" yet another deafening screech ends all my hopes. Well, it was worth a shot. Joy takes several steps backwards, putting about two pony lengths between us. "I see, I see, IseeIseeIseeIsee," she's trembling, eye twitching and a string of spittle coming down the side of her mouth, "You're just like her. You exist only to pring me pain. You killed the prince of my dreams-" Wait, what? She can't mean Blueblood. Is she completely insane? Very much so, yes. Shut up, head. "-then you made my coltfriend leave Canterlot-" Wrong order. "He tried to kill me out of jealousy. Twice," I'm not really trying to persuade her anymore, just blindly hoping that some word I say might bring some last bit of reason into Joy to life. "-And then you killed my best friend. The pony who kept me warm when I needed it UNLIKE YOU!-" That one is true. Sharp Biscuit's death is a stain on my life nopony can deny. "-BUT WHAT'S WORST," physical ice crystals form around her, falling on the floor and shattering, "You killed my Blaze. My little Blaze, the poor, shy stallion who came to Canterlot to start a new life.-" I came to Canterlot to die far away from my home so that nopony would find me. She's right in one thing, though. I am not him. I killed him to prevent him from going through what I had, and after today... ...I am absolutely certain I did the right thing. He wouldn't deserve this. After all this time I had to grow, I managed to get even worse. "-He was so nice, so sweet. He even made it into the Royal Guard, you know? OF COURSE YOU DON'T! You just arrived one day and killed him, pretending to be him, and I forced myself to believe your lies because I had nothing else," her voice breaks with tears streaking from her eyes, "If this is how it is, heheh, then at least I'll finally sleep tonight after so long. One way or the other." "Chokey..." She can't make the connection between me and the original Blazing anymore. "MURDERER, TRAITOR, CHEATER, GRIFFON COCKWHORE!" I've been called some of those things before, but always only by my enemies. The air turns into blood red mist. It forms huge, curved red blades which slice at me, and dissipate harmlessly when they get closer. All that's left is a circle of the tiniest gold and pink flames marking the area around me where magic has no place. "DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" With that high-pitched scream, Joy herself charges at me.