"Dear Dazzlings,
I have to go to a friend's wedding in a couple months, but I can't for the life of me figure out a good look for it. None of the dresses in my size are any good- it's just so hard to get plus sized fashion! Plus it's a beach wedding and those are just so hard to dress for, you know? Do you have any advice? Or at least maybe a tailor in the Vanhoover area you could recommend?
Sincerely,
Naked in Neightona Beach"
"Well, first of all we need to agree- Adagio isn't allowed to answer this question," Aria said. Sonata immediately nodded in agreement.
"Oh, that's rich coming from the ripped-sleeves denim club!" Adagio shouted.
"Talk to me when you're not wearing- gods, what even IS that?"
"It's a SIREN SUIT-"
"Hey, hey, hey- we've got a question to answer!" Sonata said, holding her hands up. Adagio rolled her eyes and backed off. Clearing her throat, Sonata continued.
"This is ACTUALLY a pretty good question- and who better to ask than magical extra-dimensional sea creatures, right?" Sonata smiled, "Beach fashion is, like, SUPER easy to figure out."
"Also super stupid."
"Come on, Aria- don't be such a grump! It's fun! Floral prints, khakis- it's relaxing."
Aria groaned, "Yeah, let's just go ahead and kill cool fashion one shirt at a time. Take that."
She started to tune out a bit, scrolling through the music app on Sonata's recording laptop while the youngest siren continued to try and defend her fashion choices. As she prattled, Aria's eyes grew wider and wider as the 'recently played' sidebar revealed a dark, terrible secret.
"Well I- excuuuuuuuse me for wanting to have a little fun! It's like late October in Canterlot City- I'd like to live on island time just a little bit longer! Gosh, don't you ever get homesi-"
"Okay, shut the fuck up for a second."
"I will NOT be SILENCED-"
"Sonata Dusk I am GOING to put you on BLAST," Aria shouted, standing fast enough that her chair clattered to the floor behind her. She grabbed her mic, stooping over the computer as she scrolled, "I mean I know you're absolutely brain dead, but did you get some fucking ACUTE AMNESIA during our split? Because I just- Okay, folks at home I'm currently scrolling through Sonata's recently played tunes-"
Sonata's eyes widened, as she scrambled from her chair, "ARIA NO!"
"ARIA YES!" A boot planted firmly in Sonata's face was enough to keep her at bay, "Alright- like I was saying, I've got Sonata's recent tunes and holy mother of the sea I am gonna go OFF- first off we've got Take it Back by Yummy Buffet-"
"ARIA PLEASE!"
"Nautical Wheelers by Yummy Buffet-"
"ADAGIO HELP ME!"
Adagio sat, in stunned silence, as Aria's voice grew slowly less gleeful and more maniacally peeved.
"Jolly Mon Sing by Yummy Buffet, Steamer by Yummy Buffet, Treat Her Like a Lady by Yummy Buffet, Manana by Yummy Buffet, When Slalom Plays the Drum by YUMDIDDLY SCRUMPTIOUS BUFFET, Neighvana Daydreaming by Yummy Buffet- what the FUCK happened to you!?"
Sonata sank to her knees, crying out to the heavens for mercy, as Aria continued her tirade.
"Are you HAUNTED? Are you fucking POSSESSED?!"
"I had a case of the Mondays!"
"You USED to be my SISTER!"
Quietness quickly fell on the podcast set- Aria glaring downward at Sonata's sniffling form, Adagio scooted back a good three feet away from the epicenter of this madness.
"I just had a case of the Mondays- I had those ol' Monday blues!" Sonata whined, "And I was just trying to chase them away!"
Adagio carefully scooted back to her mic, leaning in close and speaking with a somewhat more quiet voice, "I just want to remind our dear listeners about the concept of this show- you see, Sonata is supposed to make up one-third of the team that feels qualified on how to tell other people to live their lives. On this note, I will say- perhaps some kind of hip-looking chiton in a pastel shade complimentary to your skin tone would be a beach-ready choice for your wedding attendance needs."
Aria and Sonata both snapped out of their tense situation, turning towards Adagio. Aria nodded.
"Oh yeah- that'd probably work."
"Yeah, yeah, not a bad idea."