//------------------------------// // Chapter 18 // Story: Life Between Death // by cierragp //------------------------------// Everything just seemed like another blur when she looked back. What was the meaning of this? It was confusing. What was truly right for everything? Was there even a right or wrong to be separated? Everyone had faults. The fault was failing to realize that nothing was going right. That could only mean one thing. They weren’t going the right direction. If the plans had been right, and worked right, they should’ve ended this half a year ago, only a few thousand ponies might die, and yet, the casualties were staggering. Ponies were running from their home, not wanting to be called up to serve in the army. No one was safe now. The nightmare wouldn’t leave her. She wished that she could just wake up and realize that this was all a stupid, horrifying dream that she had no part of, and she would still be admiring the Wonderbolts from afar, but now she was working with their commanders, falling in love with the co-captain, doing stupid things, being stupid, and somehow it seemed right for once. Maybe she was just stupid enough to believe the prettier lies. Who cared anyways? She wanted laugh when she thought that Celestia cared. There were too many things that she had to care for now. ~~~ Soarin could still remember, maybe just brief memories, but they were very much real. He remembered a time where he was too stupid for his own good, but happy. Now he was smart enough to steer away from obvious danger, but unhappy. The only bit of happiness he had was spending time with Rainbow, and she reminded so much of a friend he had so long ago, a friend he lost during the first siege of Cloudsdale. He didn’t want to remember those times. Ten years ago, that was nothing, and it was just considered a stupid misunderstanding between the leaders of Cloudsdale and Sombra. Sombra had even sent them money to rebuild everything he destroyed, but he wanted to laugh when they say that everyone lived happily ever after. Life wasn’t a stupid fairy tale that he was stupid enough to believe at times. Maybe it would’ve been better if he could keep his faith in fairy tales. At least he wouldn’t have to watch other people suffer. He didn’t want to let Rainbow suffer like this. There must’ve been more than she was letting on; Scootaloo wasn’t the only person – or thing on her mind. Everyone thought that Rainbow was strong, able to go through anything without as much as blinking an eye, but he had witnessed on more than one occasion that these things changed her more than others realized. The scars of the past would never heal. Soarin knew that from how his grandfather had wild fits here and there and then learned he served the Equestrian army barely fifteen. He used to laugh at grandfather’s weird sayings but he wished he could apologize. Because now his grandfather was dead of cyanide poisoning, they say. He felt so much guilt thinking about the harsh words he had said and how he had laughed at his grandfather. Right now, he didn’t want Rainbow to end up the same way. Being laughed at ignorant little foal was one thing, but being laughed at by older foals and younger mares and stallions would be a pain, because they were supposed to be more mature. They were supposed to be sensible He wasn’t any of that. He was not even half as sensible as he should be. ~~~ Rainbow desperately wanted to escape, to stop the blood from suffocating her, but she couldn’t. “What’s wrong with you?” Lightning shook her with such force that the chair she was sitting on was wobbling. Rainbow shook her head violently. The blood had disappeared. She was face to face with the concerned eyes of Lightning Dust. “Were you daydreaming again?” Lightning joked, but seeing the withdrawn look, she held herself from laughing and instead hurried off, back a moment later with a cup of warm tea in her hands. “Had to bargain for this one.” Lightning smiled. “Thanks.” Rainbow smiled forcefully, and drank it. She didn’t particularly like bitter drinks, but it was comforting. Like how Fluttershy would insist on making tea and having an afternoon snack with her. “How are things going?” “Not very well,” Lightning rolled her eyes. “Most of them are thinking too much, drawing up too many diagrams, or being plain stupid. Some of them are probably pretending. Thunderlane’s not that dumb.” “I don’t know.” Rainbow replied sarcastically. “For all I know, I think everyone has some brain damage from those bombs.” “I don’t.” Lightning pouted. “But what I know is that we need soldiers.” Rainbow pointed out. “We’re losing them by the thousands.” “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Lightning said quietly. “Why?” Rainbow asked. “Everyone will be dead soon. There’s no point in recruiting for deaths. I wish this could all end.” Tears glittered in Lightning’s eyes, but she refused to let them slip out. “Too many are dying, and the ponies are afraid. They’re afraid, Rainbow! You may not be, but I am! For them!” “You’re talking of me as if I’m a robot.” Rainbow deadpanned. “I can feel. I still know what’s in my heart.” Tentatively, she pressed a hoof against her chest, where she felt a slight vibration. Her heart beating. What was in her heart? Soarin? A future with Scootaloo as a daughter, not the sham she had her believing? “But if we don’t stop this, everyone will be dead.” Lightning drew herself up to her full height. “And if you can’t, I will.” With a strange look of determination, Lightning stepped out, heading elsewhere. ~~~ “I just wonder what she’s up to.” Rainbow said, leaning against Soarin. “She’s my friend, and I can’t have her hurting herself. If the officers wanted someone gone, it’s easy. I don’t think she has the popular opinion.” “I’m going to be honest. I have no idea.” Soarin replied. “But I don’t want anyone hurting on the basis of the war either.” “Me neither.” Rainbow said, shrugging. “But I think everyone is hurting on the inside, even if they don’t know it.” Soarin felt a pang in his heart. He wanted badly to tell her how true it was, but he wanted to be strong. For her. ~~~ Another load of paperwork, imported directly from Canterlot. Soarin mused on what to do with them. Burn it? Scribble? Feed it to some monster? He hated paperwork. Knowing that Spitfire would have his skin if he had ever burned it or scribbled on it or fed it to some monster, he got started. Minutes later he was fast asleep, snoring as if nothing could ever wake him up again. But a bucket of icy water should. Luckily, no one knew that he was snoozing during work. Maybe next to no one, as Rainbow had dropped in once during a snooze, and caused him a lot of trouble in the form of explanation. At least she wouldn’t tell Spitfire. But he was worried. Something Sptifire said earlier was alarming. She was in pain as well, but he felt that she was another pony good at hiding it.