“Don't worry princess, I got this one!” Rainbow Dash yelled holding Nyjill by the collar in her teeth. He looked less than amused and we didn't even budge. This through her off.
“Oh, so I got the small fry huh?” She said letting go of Nyjill. “Well just wait, I'll get you all soon enough!”
And with that she went for me. Why? Who knows, but unlike Nyjill I was ready. As she flew at me I tensed but did my best not to show it. As soon as she was in range I shot out my arm and grabbed her hoof. Using her surprise and momentum to my advantage I spun her around so she was now upside down and pulled her downwards as she was leaving my arms range. She did a half backflip and ended up sitting in a chair, hard.
“Hello Rainbow Dash. Did you have a nice trip?” I said nonchalantly with my hands folded behind my head. “The princess and I were just talking, don't get your knickers in a bunch.”
“Why you little-”RD was cut off by Twilight.
“Rainbow Dash, this is exactly what I was talking about.” Twilight said scolding her friend. “You can't just attack anybody you meet and play it off as protecting the Princess.”
“Did you see what he just did to me?” RD said exasperated. “Just think of what he is capable of if he can do that! I should hold him down just in case.” With that she started to get up but twilight stopped her.
“No no no.” Twilight scolded. “You just want an excuse for revenge.”
“Phbb, whatever.” RD countered, not so well. “As if I, the element of Loyalty would want petty revenge on this...what the hell are you anyhow?”
“Dash! That is totally inappropriate.” Twilight again scolding her friend.
“Just a little longer and I’ll tell the longer version of our tale” I said stopping the two from there pointless bickering. Twilight visibly brightened at the mention of knowledge. Nerd.
“How long until your friends arrive Twilight?” Celestia asked her fellow princess.
“Well they have to get here on hoof and I know Rarity will refuse to run, so I feel we should expect Pinkie and Applejack in a few minutes and Rarity and Fluttershy soon after.” She said to Celestia. It's amazing how well she knew her friends. And even more so that I thought almost the same. The only difference is I thought Pinkie would somehow already be here…
“I think someone is already here.” I said looking around the camp. “A certain pony that would love to welcome us and is barely holding in her enthusiasm.” I paused smiling. “My my Pinkie, you must be about to burst with anticipation. Why not just com-”
I was interrupted by a cannon blast off to my right scaring the shit out of all parties. Well, except for Pinkie. The cannon was probably supposed to be filled with confetti but...well you know Pinkie. I turned to the group to see Nyjill covered head to toe in cake batter and also about two feet to the left of where he was sitting...on the floor.
“There she is! The pinkest, partyingest, pony of all!” I said ignoring Nyjill’s groans of...well probably annoyance and pain. “Pinkie how are you this fine evening.
“I wanted to wait until everyone was here but I got so excited and then you started talking to me and I got even more excited and then I pulled the cord on my party cannon and it was filled with cake batter for some reason and now your friend is caked!” She rambled in one breath. But she was not done, oh no. “Hi I’m Pinkie but you already know that because there’s a show on Earth called My Little Pony and you and your friends watched it and that's funny because Celestia calls us her little ponies.” She paused long enough for me to but in.
“Now Pinkie let’s not spoil the surprises, I haven't told the non-TLDR version of our tale yet.” I said mock-scolding the pink party pony.
“Surprises? I love those!” She said bouncing around the group. “But I’m sure you already knew that because I surprised you well not all of you, Shawn seemed to know I was there because he kind of understands Pinkie logic but not completely.” Twilight perked up at this. I guess the thought of someone understanding Pinkie was imposable. Git gud scrub.
"Hey is your friend ok?” Pinkie asked poking Nyjill’s leg.
“I’m just laying here waiting for the cake batter in my ears to harden so I don't have to listen to you ramble on anymore.” Nyjill said coldly. Not in such a good mood since he was the recipient of two of the mares greetings.
“O chear up Nyjill.” I said swiping a glob of batter onto my finger and tasting it. “When was the last time you had anything this delicious. Baking...well not in this sense it isn’t cooked, but food in general is kind of survival only on our world. It's a nice change to have food that was made purely for enjoyment.”
“And I’m just overflowing with enthusiasm with getting blindsided by it.” He said, obviously not enthused.
“Pinkie, I think it would be best if you apologised to Nyjill here.” Twilight said to her friend worried. “We don't want to get off on the wrong hoof.”
“Hah, too late for that.” Nyjill said bitterly.
“Yah, you ain’t kidding.” I agreed jovially. “Nothing says welcome like the friggin princess saying she’d like to fuck me sideways.”
“Excuse me?” Twilight said worriedly looking from me to Celestia for an explanation. With none forthcoming and only amused grins she huffed and readdressed Pinkie with a stare.
“Right!” Pinkie proclaimed. “I’m sorry I covered you in cake Nyjill...I guess you could say I could be charged with - wait for it - battery!”
“Ooh, that was bad.” Camden said bringing our attention to the part of the group that had stayed mostly quiet to avoid...well who knows what.
Suddenly some knocking caught our attention. We hadn't even opened our front door yet and we had four guests. I went to the door to let our guests in.
“Your father was a hamster.” I called out absentmindedly. “Nevermind, ignore that. Just identify yourselves if you would be so kind.”
“Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy.” An undoubtedly Apple-like voice said. “Is pinkie in there? She left us soon after we entered the woods.”
“Yes, she is here.” I said unlocking and opening the door to greet the mares in front of me. “Welcome to our humble camp. Please make your way over to the patio with the rest of the group so we can get started.”
“Woh!” Applejack exclaimed upon seeing me. “Y’all look kinda freaky.”
“Applejack deary,” Rarity scolded. “That isn't a very polite response to someone who invited us into their..er, temporary home.”
“Sorry ‘bout that...uhh, I didn't get your name.” Applejack said rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof.
“My name is Shawn.” I said politely holding out my hand expecting a shake.
“Applejack.” Applejack replied, cautiously bumping her hoof into my palm.
“And miss Rarity it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” I said as I again held out my hand.
“Why thank you Sir Shawn.” She said understanding my hand position and placing her hoof in it, shaking it daintily.
“Please, Shawn is fine.” I said directing my attention to the mare hiding behind Applejack. “Ahh, Miss Fluttershy. I will not try and shake your hoof for I know you are timid. Feel free to warm up to us at your own pace.” Fluttershy mumbled something that no one perceived and I pretended that I hadn't heard anything knowing asking her to repeat herself was pointless.
“Now ladies, come on in. Your friends and Princess are already waiting inside.” I said gesturing to the others.
Upon seeing their other friends and Celestia they visibly calmed and walked over to the group. They eyed Nyjill curiously who was still laying on the ground covered in batter.
“Is he ok?” Applejack asked pointing a hoof at Nyjill.
“Yah, just a grumblepuss” I said closing the door and re-locking it.
“Is it time for the surprise now!?” Pinkie asked hopping around.
“Yes, I too would like to hear your ‘tale’ as you keep referring to it.” Twilight said a little giddy herself.
“Ok, now that all the parties are gathered, we can tell our tale in earnest.” I said sitting down in front of the group. They arranged themselves in a semicircle in front of me, adorable by the way, as my friends sat behind me.
“You guys can fill in any gaps and details I miss.” I said to my group receiving a nod in reply. “Starting from the way beginning will help you guys understand social structures and whatnot of our world. So we will start with my first befriending of the group, Cody.”