//------------------------------//
// Chapter One 
// Story: Terrors of the Town 
// by AJtheRaven 
//------------------------------//

          If Apple Bloom had a bit for every time she'd wished she could get rid of her cutie mark, she'd have enough money to buy Princess Celestia's castle. And probably Princess Celestia with it. 
Before she got her cutie mark, she would probably have murdered somepony else to get it. Heck, she'd even have listened to one of her big sis Applejack's endless lectures about the "importance o' apple farmers t' keep Equestria healthy an' hearty" if it would help that coveted symbol of coming-of-age suddenly appear on her flank. But now that Apple Bloom did have her cutie mark, she wished that it had been a few more years in coming. 
What were you supposed to do after you got your cutie mark, anyway? Now that Apple Bloom didn't have Crusading to look forward to, she found that her life mostly just consisted of school, homework, and helping out on the farm. Sure, she and her friends still helped ponies find their true talents, just like they had vowed to do after they got their own cutie marks. Except ponies were now coming to them less and less often - very few ponies actually needed the Cutie Mark Crusaders' help anymore, because the Crusaders had already helped so many ponies in Ponyville that just about anypony could offer the right advice. Why come all the way out to the Crusaders' clubhouse when you could just talk to your next-door neighbor, who already knew exactly what they would say?
How ironic. 
Judging by Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo's long faces, half-lidded eyes, and scrunched muzzles, they were just as bored as Apple Bloom. On a sunny day like this one, with fragments of bright blue, cloud-spattered sky peeping through the windows of the clubhouse, it was almost a crime to be bored. But there really was absolutely nothing to do. The Crusaders had already tried writing a song (they may or may not have made themselves temporarily deaf in the process), writing a novel (complete failure), learning kung fu (which had gone quite well, if the bruises under their hooves and Scootaloo's black eye were any indication), and figuring out how to carve wood (although perhaps they should have bought some wood blocks instead of practicing on Sweet Apple Acres' trees. Apple Bloom did NOT want to be there when Applejack discovered the piles of tree bark shavings. Or the smiley faces and curlicues engraved into a hundred of her finest apple trees). 
Cringing a little at the thought of her big sister's furious face, Apple Bloom rolled over on her side to face her two friends. The three of them were lying in their clubhouse in a patch of sunlight streaming in through the window, their legs stretched out around them as they sunbathed. Or, more precisely, lay there and pretended to sunbathe because there was nothing better to do. 
Scootaloo, who was on the far left, heaved a long, drawn-out sigh and turned to face Sweetie and Apple Bloom. "Guys? Are you getting tired of lying here and doing nothing?" As usual, her mulberry-colored mane stuck out in all directions, adding to her tomcoltish charm. Her black eye made her look like some sort of mini-pirate. 
"Yeah," Apple Bloom agreed readily, tucking her hind legs up to her stomach. "Ah feel like we've been doin' this all day."
"Me too," Sweetie Belle moaned from her spot between Scoots and Apple Bloom. Her perfectly coiffed pink-and-lavender curls glinted in the sunlight as she shifted position so that she was facing the ceiling. "The last time I was this bored was when Rarity tried to teach me the difference between chiffon and satin." 
"That does sound boring." Scootaloo's mouth twisted into a pout. "But it couldn't have been as boring as this. Life, when are you going to start getting interesting?!"
"Tell me about it." Apple Bloom tugged idly at her hair bow. "Ah'm plum outta ideas. Ah guess maybe we could go have an eatin' contest or somethin' -"
"HA HA! TAKE THAT, APPLEJACK! SWEET VICTORY IS MINE!" A high-pitched voice with a cultured Manehatten accent suddenly rang out over the bucolic apple orchards, followed by a burst of raucous, self-satisfied laughter. 
All three Cutie Mark Crusaders shot up at once, jostling against each other as they fought to be the first one to look out of the window (honestly, though, at the level of boredom they had attained even an egg twitching in a bird's nest would have been fascinating). "That sounded like Rarity," they said simultaneously. Only Rarity could laugh that melodramatically. 
Apple Bloom cast a glance at her friends, her eyes shining, knowing that they were all thinking the same thing. "Y'all think we should go check it out?" she asked hopefully. 
"Why not? We have nothing to lose," Sweetie pointed out eagerly, just as excited as Apple Bloom by the prospect of having something to do. 
"Except for our hearing. For the second time today," Scootaloo muttered. 
"Are you saying my sister's loud?" Sweetie Belle demanded, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. 
Scootaloo opened her mouth to answer and then closed it again, trying to decide which was more dangerous: lying, or saying yes. "Um..."
"Oh, come on, you two," Apple Bloom interjected. "We got a real, actual activity on our hooves here! No time fer arguin'!"
Sweetie Belle nodded, seeming suitably chastened. "You're right," Scootaloo conceded, a wicked gleam in her eye as she beamed at her friends. "So..."
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS INVESTIGATORS! YAYYYYY!" 
The three of them pumped their hooves in the air and galloped out of their clubhouse at lightning speed. "Ah have missed sayin' that," Apple Bloom added with a roguish grin as they pounded through the orchards. 	

***

The Crusaders hunkered down in the bushes by the Apple family's front porch, spying. Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were sitting in a cluster of chairs around a card table on the porch, apparently in the middle of a card game. Rarity was still rubbing her hooves together with glee, enjoying her 'sweet victory', while AJ and Dash waited patiently (less patiently and more irritably, in Dash's case) for her to finish. A pile of coins sat in the center of the table, along with three half-full mugs of apple cider. Apple Bloom didn't know much about cards, but she had watched Applejack playing often enough to be able to tell what game they were playing. It looked like Hearts. 
"My sister gambles?" Sweetie murmured into Apple Bloom's ear, eyeing the pile of coins with horror. 
Apple Bloom leaned closer and squinted. "Naw, Ah think those are chocolate coins," she whispered back. The chocolate smeared around Rainbow's lips and the pile of empty wrappers in front of her certainly seemed to suggest as much. 
Sweetie sighed with relief and sat backwards. "Oh, good."
Scootaloo let out a sharp hiss of pain. "Sweetie Belle! You just sat on my hoof!"
"Oh, sorry!" Aghast, she scrambled up and whirled around. "Are you okay?"
Apple Bloom winced as Sweetie's curly tail smacked her in the face. "Guys! Can y'all keep it down? They're gonna hear us!"
Murmuring reluctant apologies, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo dropped to their hooves and pressed their heads against Apple Bloom's, craning their necks as far as possible in order to see out of the tiny gap in the bush's leaves that served as their peephole. They crinkled their noses as Rarity's strong perfume drifted through the air and into their nostrils. 
Applejack's low, rich voice, tinged with amusement, floated through the air and into the Crusaders' hiding place as Rarity finally recovered herself. "Rarity, Ah think that sweet victory o' yores is about t' turn real sour," she smirked, slapping a card down on the table. 
Rarity's eyes widened, and her mouth dropped open. "But - but - I could have sworn I saw that card earlier! There was no way you could have played a lower card than mine! I was counting!"
"Musta miscounted," Applejack replied complacently. "An' Ah believe this is yore trick." She indicated the three cards that comprised the trick. 
Grumbling, Rarity reached out and dragged the cards towards her. Her eye twitched as she stared down at the seven of hearts that sat smugly on top of the stack. 
"Another point for you," Rainbow Dash smirked, taking a long draught of her cider and smacking her lips in satisfaction. "That makes, what, five? You're so losing." She nudged Applejack, who was sitting next to her. "Nice move there, AJ."
"Thanks. But don' get too cocky, Dash," Applejack cautioned her. "Ah've been countin' cards an' Ah think yore gonna have t' take a couple more points o' yore own soon." Brushing her flaxen bangs out of her eyes and tugging her Stetson lower over her forehead, the farmer glanced over at Rainbow and frowned. "Hey! How many times do Ah have t' tell ya not t' eat that chocolate! It's fer the game!"
"Sorry," she apologized, in a tone of voice that was not even remotely apologetic, slowly and deliberately slurping all the chocolate off her face with her tongue. 
Applejack shook her head and heaved a sigh, knowing that Rainbow had no intention of stopping. "Jus' get on with yore turn, sugarcube."
"It's Rarity's turn. She took the trick..." Rainbow's voice faltered and her eyes brightened as a sudden thought struck her. "Hey. AJ, you're the Element of Honesty, right? So that means if I ask you a question, you have to answer honestly."
"Uh... Ah don' think it works like that."
Rainbow completely ignored her response. "Right. Tell me: do you have the queen of spades?"
Apple Bloom knew that the queen of spades was the most undesirable card in Hearts. The object of the game, from what she had gathered, was to end up with as few points as possible, and the queen of spades was worth thirteen entire points - whoever was dealt it had to try to pawn it off onto someone else in order to avoid taking the points themselves. Each pony would take turns placing a card on the table, starting with clubs. The pony who put down the card of highest value got to take the trick as well as start the next round. Each pony was supposed to play a card of the same suit, but if somepony didn't have a card of the suit that had just been played he could lay down a card of a different suit. At some point, ponies could start playing heart cards in hopes of forcing their opponents to take the hearts and thereby gain points. 
Applejack arched an eyebrow, her mouth twitching in amusement. "Rainbow, bein' th' Element o' Honesty' don' mean Ah have t' answer ev'ry random question somepony asks me."
"Not even for your best friend?" Rainbow leaned across the table and propped her chin up on her hooves, smiling up at Applejack as winningly as possible. 
Rolling her eyes, Applejack reached out and pushed her away. "No."
Rainbow struck her tongue out and retreated sullenly. "How come?" she muttered grumpily. 
"'Cause that's cheatin'," Applejack replied in a no-nonsense tone that brooked no argument. 
"I hate to break up this little tiff, darlings, but I've made my turn," Rarity interjected delicately, gesturing to the three of hearts she had just laid down. 
Rainbow cackled wickedly and drew a card out of her hand. "Applejack, you are going down." She slammed a four of hearts down on the table. "There's no way you have a heart lower than that. You're gonna have to take the trick. And the three points."
"Ah wouldn't be too sure about that." With a flourish, Applejack withdrew a two of hearts and placed it on top of Dash's card. "Rainbow? Ah believe this is yores?" Grinning broadly, she picked up the set of cards and handed it to the astonished pegasus. 
Rainbow stared dumbly at the three points she'd just been handed. "WHAT?!" she screeched, slamming her hooves down on the table. "But - but - no! No way! I was counting the cards! I swear the two of hearts was already played!!! I WAS WATCHING! There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY you could have had that card!" 
Applejack rolled her powerful shoulders in a casual shrug. "Don' get yore girdle in a twist, sugar. 'S'only three points, anyways." 
"But she already had nineteen points total from the last two games," Rarity pointed out. "She's passed the twenty-point mark. That means..."
"Ugh, it means I have to give Applejack twenty pieces of my chocolate. I know," Dash grumbled, irritably flinging the aforementioned amount of coins across the table at the cowpony. "I'm gonna win it all back in the next round though!"
"If you say so," Rarity answered calmly as Applejack collected her newfound earnings with an air of self-satisfaction. 
"I still don't get how you did that, Applejack," Rainbow complained. "I could have sworn I saw that two of hearts earlier..."
"Granny Smith taught me t' play this game like nopony's business," Applejack responded simply, by way of explanation. "Ah was taught by th' best. You'd be real s'prised t' see Granny playin' cards - you'd think she'd-a grown up in Los Pegasus! Ah ain't lost a game o' Hearts since Ah were a little filly, thanks t' her."
"I must agree with that. You win every time we play cards with the girls," Rarity told her, her eyes sparkling with admiration.  
Applejack blushed and pulled her Stetson down to hide her face. "As, shucks. That's real sweet. Long as we're playin' with chocolate an' not real money, Ah don' mind winnin'."
Rainbow Dash grunted. "Still. For the Element of Honesty, you sure can be sneaky when you need to be."
"Speaking of sneaky..." Rarity coughed delicately. Amusement lurked in her voice. "When do you think we should tell those little hooligans in the bush that we know they're there?"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders froze. 
"Reckon now would be a good time." Applejack was grinning broadly. "Y'all can come out now."
Hanging their heads abashedly, the three fillies trooped out of the bushes and trotted up onto the porch. "How long did you know we were there?" Scootaloo asked glumly. 
"From the moment you arrived," Rainbow smirked in her trademark scratchy voice. "You guys were making more noise than Spitfire when she's drunk." She leaned forward to ruffle Scootaloo's hair, but stopped abruptly. "Hey. What happened to your eye?"
Scootaloo cringed and ducked her head. "Um... kung fu...?"
"Hey! Awesome!" Rainbow's voice cracked in her enthusiasm. "Good to see you learning some moves! That's - that's... uh..." Her voice trailed away as Applejack shot her a deadly glare that was probably ferocious enough to send Princess Celestia crying for her mommy. "I mean... you should put some ice on that."
Applejack shook her head disapprovingly and looked pointedly away. 
Scootaloo scuffed her hooves against the porch. "Oh... it's nothing..."
Rainbow leaned down and nuzzled Scootaloo's forehead affectionately, this time seeming genuinely concerned. "Doesn't look like nothing, Scoots. You sure you're alright?"
"Yeah," Scootaloo promised, throwing her hooves around Rainbow and burying her face in her polychromatic mane, breathing in its faintly electric tang. "I'm fine." 
Rarity stifled a chuckle as Rainbow wrapped her wings around Scootaloo's small figure. 
"What?" the cyan pegasus demanded thinly. "What is it?"
"Nothing, dear. It's just... funny to see you 'mothering', that's all."
"I'm not mothering!" Rainbow protested, her face turning a violent shade of red. "I'm - I'm - sistering!"
Nopony could deny that. About a month ago, Rainbow had finally realized just how much Scootaloo admired and loved her (with a lot of exasperated prodding from her friends, who were appalled that Rainbow had been so oblivious). Rainbow Dash, in turn, realized that she loved Scoots just as much. She was the little sister that Dash had never had. After doing some poking around, Rainbow had realized that Scootaloo actually lived in an abandoned house on the edge of Ponyville. That, of course, was unacceptable. So, without the slightest hesitation, Rainbow Dash had decided to legally adopt her - she'd filled out paperwork and had it approved by the Princesses and everything. There was more than enough room for another young pegasus in Dash's cloud house, anyway - and although she'd never admit it, she'd been starting to get a little lonely up there. Many tears had been shed the day she'd surprised Scootaloo by showing her the adoption papers - even Rainbow had been distinctly crying, despite whatever she might say to the contrary. 
Scootaloo still couldn't believe her luck. Less than a month ago, she hadn't had a proper home or a family. Now she had both. She buried her head in Rainbow's coat, smiling so hard that it hurt, her eyes stinging with happy tears. She hadn't had anypony to hug like this a month ago, either. 
Rainbow withdrew her hooves and used them to ruffle Scootaloo's mane. "Alright, kid," she said gruffly. "Don't get sappy on me." But her lips were curled in a tiny grin. 
Applejack's eyes crinkled as she smiled amicably at Rainbow and Scoots. "Now that Dash has finished her huggin' session..." Rainbow shot her friend an angry glance, but Applejack paid it no mind. "What in tarnation brings you three here, anyways? Bloom, Ah thought ya said y'all were busy t'day?"
"We were busy," Apple Bloom muttered. "But we've already done everything we can think of doin', an' now we're bored."
"Yeah. Soooooo booooooored," Sweetie Belle chimed in, rolling her eyes dramatically to highlight her words. 
Rarity looked shocked. "Sweetie Belle! A lady does not roll her eyes in public!"
"I've seen you roll your eyes at Applejack," Sweetie Belle protested innocently. "Just last week."
Rarity's alabaster muzzle flushed red. "That's - that was different. I was rolling my eyes because she was yelling at me."
Applejack pursed her lips. "Rarity, ya came t' mah farm with a mudproof, waterproof, an' fireproof suit on! O' course Ah yelled at ya!"
"That's only because last time I was at your farm, I was set upon by a horde of angry pigs, rained on, and set on fire!"
"An' none of that woulda happened if ya hadn't decided all th' pigs needed a bath! Ah did warn ya. They don' like baths. Also, those fancy breakfast thingies ya were makin' on th' stove wouldn't have burned if ya hadn't started runnin' around an' screamin' like a chicken with its head cut off when ya saw a tiny bug on the oven!"
"Yes, well -"
"Okay, okay, break it up," Rainbow interrupted. "Not in front of the kiddos."
Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all wore toothy smiles of excitement. Watching AJ and Rarity fight was always entertaining. 
"Fine. We'll finish this later." Rarity's horn glimmered with magic as she used it to raise her cider mug to her mouth. She took a delicate sip and set it back down. "So you three are bored, is that right? Why did you decide to come here?"
"We heard you laughing and thought we should come check it out," Scootaloo answered. "Can we watch you guys play cards for a bit? There's nothing else to do."
Applejack shrugged. "Shore, why not? Be mah guest."
Apple Bloom plopped down, stuck her legs out to either side, and rested her head against her big sister's hind legs, breathing in the heady apples-and-spices-and-soil scent that emanated from her powerful orange frame. The curly ends of Applejack's mane tickled Apple Bloom's forehead as Applejack lovingly swept her tail around her little sister's hooves. Scootaloo and Sweetie settled down on either side of her, leaning against Rainbow Dash's and Rarity's stomachs, respectively. 
Apple Bloom watched the game with bright eyes. Her big sis was totally whooping everypony's flanks. By now, Rainbow Dash and Rarity had garnered at least seven points each, but Applejack still had zero. Sweetie Belle was observing the game as well, but she seemed more interested in the chocolate coins than the cards. 
Scootaloo, on the other hand, began to fidget almost right away. In her opinion, sitting still was - as Rarity would say - the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING. After about thirty seconds, Scootaloo hopped up and stamped her hoof, frowning darkly. "I'm still bored," she announced grouchily. "Why isn't there anything to do after you get your cutie mark?"
"We found plenty to do after we got our cutie marks," Rainbow said, casually flicking her mane out of her eyes. 
"Yeah, no kiddin'," Applejack smirked, shooting Dash and Rarity a sly smile. Rarity returned the smile, her eyes sparkling with laughter, and Rainbow looked like she was trying really hard not to burst out laughing. 
"'We'? Who's 'we'?" Sweetie Belle demanded, her eyes flicking back and forth between her sister and the two other mares. 
Their grins widened. Applejack huffed a laugh, glancing over at Rainbow and knowingly widening her eyes. The Cutie Mark Crusaders stared at their big sisters in bewilderment. What in Equestria were they trying to hide? The sneaky, roguish glances they were casting at each other made them look like conspirators in some kind of devious ruse. 
"Scoots meant it," Apple Bloom protested. "Who's 'we'? Y'all look like cats that got th' cream or somethin'!"
Applejack's smile died a little as her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Ya mean Ah ain't never told ya th' stories?"
"What stories?" Scootaloo staunchly pressed forward to stand by Apple Bloom. 
Rainbow Dash and Rarity now appeared surprised as well. "Really?" Rainbow's brow creased in a puzzled frown. "Scootaloo, I never told you? And no one else in Ponyville ever told you, either?"
The Cutie Mark Crusaders shook their heads slowly. 
"Well, Ah'll be darned." Applejack swept off her Stetson and clutched it to her chest. "We were, uh... somethin' like celebrities in Ponyville when we were little, Ah guess. Ah'm surprised Ah never told ya. Shoot, Ah'm surprised nopony else ever told ya either."
"Probably because they're doing their best to forget about the whole thing." Rarity tossed her mane, carefully pressing her coiffed curls into place. "We were not, so to speak, on our best behavior."
"WHO'S 'WE'?" The Cutie Mark Crusaders shouted simultaneously. Their interest was really peaked now. None of them could imagine their big sisters on anything but their best behavior (except possibly Scootaloo). It was rather refreshing to think that they might have been just like Apple Bloom, Sweetie, and Scootaloo themselves as fillies. 
"Sheesh, kiddos! Chillax!" Rainbow regarded them thoughtfully for a moment, and then said, "We'll tell you, alright? It's high time you heard about it."
"But our card game..." Rarity's voice trailed away. 
"C'mon, Rares. Telling a story is waaaaay more fun than being crushed by Applejack at cards. Again."
"Ooooh, a story!" Apple Bloom perked up. Perhaps this could keep her and her friends from being bored for a while. "Ah like stories!"
"Does it have adventure?" Scoots asked eagerly, flaring her wings and fanning them as hard as she could. 
Rainbow winked. "You bet."
"And dresses?" Sweetie Belle chimed in. 
"Most certainly," Rarity assured her. 
"Then what are we waitin' for? Let's git started!" Apple Bloom flopped down by Applejack's hooves and stared up at her expectantly. 
"Whoa now, sugar plum," Applejack chuckled, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she grinned. "This is a real long story. We..." The Crusaders opened their mouth to ask about the meaning of the mysterious 'we' once more, and Applejack hastily cut them off. "That is, me, Rainbow, and Rarity... we can't tell this story in jus' a day."
"That's okay. Just tell us something now, so we don't die of boredom!" Scootaloo interrupted impatiently. 
"Alraght, alraght." Applejack glanced over at the cyan pegasus on her right. "Rainbow? Ya wanna start us off? Seein' as yore th' one who mentioned 'we' in th' first place?"
"Absolutely." Rainbow cleared her throat huskily and struck a dramatic pose. "My little fillies, you are about to hear a tale of mischief and adventure and laughter and... okay, I'm out of ideas. Anyway. You're about to hear a tale full of good stuff. You're about to hear how the most infamous band of rogues who ever roamed Ponyville was created. You're about to realize just how awesome I was when I was a filly. I mean, we," she added quickly, shooting Rarity and Applejack a guilty smile. "We. You, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, are going to hear the never-before-told tale of... the RADs!"
This was something of an anticlimax. "The RADs?" Scootaloo queried, somewhat dubiously. "Really? What kinda name is that?"
"Hey, we were kids, okay?" Rainbow fired back fiercely. "And besides, there's a super-cool meaning behind the name!" Applejack and Rarity shared an annoyed glance which implied that the name hadn't even been their idea. 
"Yeah, well, we were younger than you when we decided to call ourselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and that's the best name ever," Sweetie Belle pointed out wisely. "The RADs? That's... not good." 
Rainbow growled, realizing she had been outmaneuvered, and looked pleadingly at Applejack. "AJ? Take over? Like, now?"
"Yes, you should tell this part of the story," Rarity urged her. "You're wonderful at storytelling."
Applejack's freckles stood out in stark contrast to the rosy blush that appeared on her cheeks at Rarity's praise. "Alraght. Since y'all insist." She took a deep breath, her emerald gaze fixed on something in the distance as she prepared, and then began. "It was a real nice day in Ponyville -"
"Oh, come on, big sis!" Apple Bloom wailed. "Ya can't start a story like that! That's so boring! Yore s'posed t' be a good storyteller!"
Applejack glared at her severely, her nostrils flaring. "Ah am. It's jus' been a while since Ah told a story, that's all. An what have Ah told ya 'bout interruptin'?" 
"Uh... not t' do it?" Apple Bloom ventured sheepishly, realizing that she had committed a breach of etiquette. 
"Exactly. Now hush up." The farmpony adjusted her hat, cleared her throat, and began again, her Southern twang adding a pleasant lilt to her words. Even Rainbow and Rarity scooted closer to listen; Rainbow, in fact, was so close that her fur was brushing against Applejack's mane. "One real nice spring day in Ponyville -" she stopped and raised an eyebrow at Apple Bloom, waiting for an interruption, but Apple Bloom had learned her lesson by now. Mollified, AJ continued. "Everypony was out enjoyin' Celestia's sunshine. But three little fillies were stuck inside th' schoolhouse, scrubbin' the walls while everypony else headed home t' play. Y'see, these three fillies were in trouble. Deep trouble..."