It isn't long before something happens - a ball of white light appears next to Twilight, slowly growing bigger as the two watch, up until the brightness hurts their eyes and they have to look away. The mare blinks the spots out of her eyes, then turns to look at the new arrival.
It is a short, fat grey blob, wearing a neon green and pink outfit, with yellow gloves. The tentacle on its head forms a pompadour and it has large holes on the sides of its head. Also, there is a green heart on the front and back of its pink top.
"...I'll be honest, I have no idea what the fuck I'm looking at."
Twilight sighs, shaking her head. "I guess he'll have to-" She cuts herself off, having realized something. "...wait, did you say that?"
Dainn just raises an eyebrow. "Say what?"
"Oh, shit, I think our NPC partner just heard us!"
"No way, clearly that was a mistake that made it into the Buu version of the storyline."
"She's pretty hot though."
"Whoa, when did you become a furry?"
"I'm not! Shut up!"
"...are you seriously just going to stand there and twitch your eyelid?" The king smirks slyly. "Your funeral." His fur immediately turns gold.
"Holy-! It's a furry saiyan!"
"I thought that was Oozaru?"
"And why so caught up on furries?"
"GRAH!" The caribou kicks the creature in the face, sending him flying right into Twilight and the both of them go flying into one of the supports of the castle.
"Guys, shut up and fight!"
The squat creature gets up and immediately zooms towards towards Dainn, attacking him with a flurry of punches that the king blocks with his staff.
"Trying! The fucker keeps blocking!"
"And the NPC does nothing. Of course."
Twilight furrows her brow, confused. "...NPC?"
"...okay, I know that wasn't a mistake."
"You don't know that! We could've heard her wrong!"
Frowning in annoyance, Twilight glances around before noticing the square of light in the sky. Eyes narrowed, she flies up to it and stares intently at it.
"Oh, shit, she's blocking the camera!"
"Just like that fucking nintendog in Smash Bros!"
"You played that game?"
"Who didn't?"
The alicorn sighs, shaking her head and looking into the box. "Greetings. My name is Twilight Sparkle."
"Twilight Barkle!"
"Wait, is she named after that shitty romance novel?"
"I thought it was a comedy?"
She throws her hands up into the air. "Okay, can you guys just tell me what's going on?"
"Can you get out of the way? You're making the health bar decrease."
She grits her teeth, but does so, moving down and tossing the king into the distance, just as he was about to slash at the creature.
"...okay, so maybe she isn't a completely useless partner."
"Yeah, but Dumplin doesn't need her!"
"Demon God Dumplin."
Twilight gives the box a bewildered stare before shaking her head and turning to Dumplin, as she assumed the short creature was, and cast a spell to heal him. "Might as well help them out."
"Woah, did she actually heal us? I thought we had to use items!"
"Guys? I think I just realized something bad."
"What?"
"Where the FUCK is his health bar?!"
There's a long period of silence where the two of them stand awkwardly, staring at each other.
"...scan them both."
"But we can see only one."
"Then scan her!"
"She's at… fifteen? Not bad."
"But not great, either. This was a special quest, after all."
"And the other guy is-"
They scream as the caribou suddenly appears right in front of Dumplin, making the mare clutch her head in agony. Then they both collide with each other once more, sending them flying through the air.
Twilight rights the both of them in the air, grumbling quietly. "You know what, let's just get to fighting. We'll sort… whatever this is out later."
"Sure."
"Don't respond to her! It!"
"Big Purple!"
The mare groans, rubbing the bridge of her nose between two fingers. "My name is Twilight…"
"Ah! She did it!"
She scowls at the box a second before she yelps, Dumplin suddenly rocketing away and slamming into Dainn, grabbing him and flinging him back and forth over his head, smashing him against the ground each time.
"Grappling? What about the fuckbox combo?"
"We don't know if he has super armor!"
"Then just fight him to find out!"
The creature lets go of him and, as he struggles to get up, he starts wailing on him. Surprisingly, the king growls and sends him flying with a backhand.
"Shit! Super armor!"
"No worries! I'm sure our partner will- oh, who am I-"
He's cut off as Twilight flies right into Dainn's chest, grabbing him by the chestpiece and flying straight up towards the castle.
"...uh. Huh."
"I think they broke Lani."
She starts spinning and then lets him go, followed by a large beam of magic that strikes him square in the chest, sending him flying off into the distance. "Listen, I don't know who you all are, but we need to keep him away from the Crystal Heart. There's no telling what he'll do with it."
"Why would you want a crystal heart when we've got a steel one right here?"
"Don't you mean jelly?"
"I don't even know."
She turns and glares at the box, which she notices is in a different spot. "Are you guys even listening? He might try to take over your mind, or even get stronger! We-"
"Are kinda late."
Tensing up, Twilight turns and stares in shock, as the king nears the Heart. "No!"
"I got it!"
Dumplin leaps in front of the caribou, holding up his hands in a triangle in front of his face as both he and the guys speak at once. "Advanced Geometry!"
"...what?"
The blast knocks Dainn to the ground, then further and further into the crystal road with each successive blow.
"Get in the ground!"
"Get in the Fuck Box!"
Eventually, the blast wears off, and a voice comes out of the hole. "Are you done? Because if I get out of this hole, and you do that again, then so help me, I will tear you a new one!"
"...that wasn't even close. Two out of ten."
"Well, we have another trick up our sleeve."
"Better hurry up, he's getting close!"
Dumplin sneers and holds his hands out in front of him. "Last Blast!"
"Wow, that was a face."
Dainn gets hit with the blast, knocking him into the support pillar of the castle.
"Get him!"
In the three seconds that the attack is active, his color fades from gold to brown, then to black as it starts to cook him.
"...wow, I didn't think Xenoverse had battle damage."
"It doesn't!"
"Who cares? We won!"
"...cheat trick."
Twilight, who had flown down next to Dumplin, immediately tenses up. "...shoot… I thought we got him..."
"Guys? I think we have a problem."
"Guys. Wait what?"
"The controller's not responding."
"Shit!"
Dainn stands up and gives a cruel smile. "You just made my shit list, you little puke." He charges forward, his fist pulled back. "Prepare to die!"
Twilight closes her eyes, bracing herself for the hit…
...which never comes, instead a powerful breeze blowing past her face.
She peeks open her eyes and sees bright colors filling her vision. It only takes her a moment to realize that the strange being is in front of her.
She hears a deep chuckle, followed by a voice that's scratchy yet endearing. "My turn."