//------------------------------// // Just One Pony // Story: Grief is the Price We Pay // by Scyphi //------------------------------// Spike returned shortly thereafter, having finished dinner and as promised, brought some of the dinner rolls and cheesy macaroni back for Fluttershy. He was in good spirits, reporting that Fly Leaf was going to be downstairs where she couldn’t overhear for another hour or so, had been told of Thorax’s continued improvements, and had agreed to trust his care to Spike still for another day, assuming his improving continued. She would not send for a doctor or attempt to intervene herself on the matter for now, which Fluttershy learned for the first time was something she had been pressing to do. This added a whole new factor for her to consider in the matter, as it made her realize the fact that Fly Leaf had apparently chosen not to do this spoke volumes about how much she personally trusted Spike and Thorax, even though she didn’t know of their true identities. “So,” Spike said as Fluttershy accepted the plate of leftovers he had brought her and began to eat, his gaze wandering to Thorax’s sleeping form. “How’s he doing? Still improving?” Fluttershy nodded as she delicately bit into a dinner roll and was well pleased by the taste. Apparently Fly Leaf was a fair cook too. “Yes,” she assured the dragon. “He woke up for a little bit while you were gone, and we…talked.” Spike perked up at this, and grinned hopefully at Fluttershy. “And?” Fluttershy bit her lip. “Um…well…” her hesitation quickly made Spike’s grin fade and gradually lower his head as he realized speaking with Thorax hadn’t help to sway her further. Fluttershy winced apologetically. “I’m sorry, Spike.” As she watched as the dragon sadly sat down on the floor, she sighed and came to a conclusion. “But since I told Thorax…I might as well tell you too…I have a reason for that.” She explained Twilight’s theory about a hive mind playing a factor in all of this. Unlike Thorax, Spike wasn’t especially surprised by this reveal. “Of course Twilight jumped to that conclusion,” he grumbled, glumly propping his head up with his claws as he sat cross-legged on the floor. “For being such a smart pony, she sometimes has an easy time missing what the facts are really telling her to focus on what she thinks should be the more likely outcome.” He rolled his eyes. “No wonder she’s so prone to panic attacks.” “Look, I don’t know if Twilight is right or not,” Fluttershy said, choosing not to comment on the matter. “But…you have to understand Spike…I can’t just overlook it as a possibility now if there’s still any chance it’s true.” “But it’s not,” Spike stressed, scowling at her. “Changelings don’t do hive minds anymore.” “Thorax told me.” “Then I really shouldn’t have to be telling you any of this, Fluttershy. Twilight’s fears are unfounded. We’re telling you the truth.” “And I want to believe you Spike, I really, really, do…but…with all of this in mind…how can I ever be certain you really are?” This made Spike hesitate, realizing he had no guaranteed way of showing it. He clearly hated it, because his scowl twisted into something even more severe. “We are, Fluttershy…you have to believe us. It doesn’t even matter if there was a hive mind, I doubt Thorax would even have the skill to try and connect me to it…when he last linked with me, it was clear he was struggling to control it, so…” He trailed off as he realized Fluttershy had gone very still and wide-eyed at this, food suddenly forgotten. Gradually the dragon realized why, and his claws involuntarily went to the bow tie still about his neck, the reason such a mental link had happened. “Fluttershy, he’s not controlling my mind.” “But Spike…if he’s already been in your mind…how can you know if anything is true and real?” she replied warily, clearly alarmed by this reveal. Spike frowned, troubled by the fact this troubled Fluttershy so much and not knowing how to make it right, to express how and why he was so certain there was no need for alarm. “Didn’t Thorax explain all of this to you already?” “Not that he’s…linked with your mind once already,” Fluttershy said, then continued monotonously, “It must have slipped his mind.” Spike winced at the uncharacteristic and distrustful tone Fluttershy’s voice took. “Fluttershy, he only did it as a favor to me just to help me recall a lost memory, and it was very brief and flimsy…I doubt he could’ve done much with that weak of a link or he could do much better if he wanted. And he had my complete permission to do it—he refused to do it if he didn’t. If he wanted to use it to harm me or manipulate me, why would he do all of that?” “But how do you know he hasn’t just manipulated your thoughts to make you think that’s what happened?” Fluttershy asked, growing more panicked the longer she thought about it, and Spike began to worry he was going to lose her trust completely unless he did something to reassure her. “You think I didn’t ask him that same thing after that link?” Spike asked, and shook his head. “Look, Fluttershy, I don’t know how else to prove it to you…but I trusted Thorax then, and I trust him still now. He is my friend. He wouldn’t harm me. He would sooner harm himself than do that to me. We are just trying to keep each other safe, and if we can, build better lives for both of ourselves. Above all, I beyond a doubt trust and believe that Thorax has done no such thing to manipulate me, in any way. I believe that with every fiber of my body.” He gazed sadly at Fluttershy. “Why would I be so adamant to make you believe that if it wasn’t true?” He gazed at her for a long moment when she made no move to respond. “Fluttershy, would you really turn us in over something you can’t prove has happened either?” “Not with all the doubt I sense that she’s putting off, I hope.” Both Fluttershy and Spike jumped at the sound of the new voice and turned to see Thorax quietly lying on his sleeping nest, awake again. Immediately distracted and excited to see his friend awake, Spike was instantly by his side. “Hey bud,” he said softly, patting the changeling gently while Thorax sleepily stretched, popping his joints. “How are you feeling?” “Improving,” Thorax responded, grinning at Spike. “And glad I seem to be out of danger for now…though a little frustrated that I can’t sleep better with you two being as loud as you are.” Spike winced. “Sorry.” “It’s alright, I understand why. It’s a subject I can forgive you for being passionate on Spike…I would be too.” Thorax glanced over at Fluttershy. “It’s her choice though…and only her choice. We have no more right to force her on it than she does for us.” Spike frowned, and glanced over at Fluttershy. Fluttershy avoided eye contact. Spike licked his lips to regather his thoughts. “Please Fluttershy,” he said, resuming the discussion. “I’ve already got Twilight turned against me…I don’t want you turned against me either.” “Oh Spike,” Fluttershy breathed, tearing up. “I’m not turning against you at all! I really wish I could just forget my fears and give you my full support, but…” she looked away, ashamed. “…you know I’m not a brave pony…and how I can be so…wishy-washy. I just…have too many doubts and…and I don’t know what to do about them.” Spike looked at his claws for a long moment. “Please don’t tell Twilight where we are Fluttershy,” he pleaded. “There must be something we can do to convince you.” “Nothing that she wouldn’t still be able to question its authenticity over, I’m afraid,” Thorax noted sadly but seriously. “I have been thinking about it since we spoke, Fluttershy…I wish I had something I could at least suggest.” Fluttershy nodded, appreciating that they were trying. “Maybe I should talk to the other girls about this,” she began to suggest. “Bring up what you’ve told me with them and discuss it some more…maybe with a few more heads involved to think it through…” “But how the hay are you going to do that without revealing where we are?” Spike asked. “The moment Twilight catches wind that you know anything, she’s going to force you to tell all!” “You don’t know that!” Fluttershy pointed out. “And anyway, I was thinking of…leaving her out at first, and just speaking with the other girls…Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie…maybe even Starlight Glimmer. If we can work something out together that we all can agree what to do…then maybe all of us approaching Twilight together can sway her before she does something…reckless.” “But what if they disagree, decide to go to Twilight themselves, or just let something slip?” Spike asked, fearing the danger of discovery. “And how can you convince them if you aren’t even convinced yourself?” Thorax added wisely. Fluttershy frowned, seeing their points and bowed her head. “Would them finding out really be so bad, though?” she asked. “Isn’t that what you'd want to do in the end?” Spike hesitated. “Well…yeah…but Twilight…” “Twilight already hates herself for making a mess of this in the first place, and…maybe she doesn’t agree with you still, but…” Fluttershy shook her head. “I really don’t think Twilight would be so foolish as to ignore her friends if we thought we needed to act differently. She wouldn’t turn against all of us too, now would she?” Spike shook his head, and smiled a meaningless, sad, grin. “I had thought the same thing right before the banishment, Fluttershy,” he stated sadly. “We really shouldn’t underestimate what Twilight could do…or anypony else she might try to inform or rally to help. How would Princess Celestia react if she knew all of this? Cadance? Shining Armor?” Fluttershy moved to respond, but upon failing to form an argument, again avoided his gaze in shame. So Spike turned to Thorax. “Thorax…I know what you’re going to say, but there must be something we can do to show her we’re being honest…” “You mean…as told from our point of view?” Thorax inquired, raising a tired eyebrow at the dragon. Spike involuntarily gazed at Thorax’s horn, understanding what Thorax was implying. “Do you think it’d help?” he asked “No,” Thorax said, shaking his head. “And I couldn’t even if I wanted to, Spike,” He chose that moment to raise his hoof to run at the base of his horn. Even though the ominous swelling that had formed there had all but vanished now, it was clear to Spike the area still ached. “Not when I’m in this condition. I wouldn’t be able to form a stable mental link…or probably any kind of link at all. It’d have to wait until after I’ve recovered more…and that’s assuming I would even have Fluttershy’s permission. I wouldn’t do it without it.” Fluttershy, listening in to all of this, was at least pleased by Thorax’s courtesy, but she had her issues with Spike’s unspoken suggestion too. “I don’t think it’d help either, Spike,” she said. “Never mind my misgivings about it all…think about how it might look to the others.” She shrugged. “And anyway…I don’t think I could wait long enough for Thorax to get the chance to try it.” “You said you didn’t need to be back at Ponyville right away,” Spike reminded. “Not for a couple of days, but it might be as much as another week before Thorax recovers fully, considering just how sick he got,” Fluttershy reasoned. “And anyway, it’s not me I’m thinking about.” She nodded her head at the door to their room, motioning to the mare that was still downstairs, unaware. “Surely your…employer…is going to notice I’m here before then, and ask questions.” “She has a point, we’re pushing our luck with Fly Leaf enough as it is,” Thorax agreed, and turned to Spike. “Where do we stand on Miss Fly currently?” Spike fiddled with his claws sheepishly. “She nearly decided to take charge herself and take you to a doctor, and would’ve if Fluttershy hadn’t arrived today and turned things around.” Spike held up his claws, holding his finger and thumb close together to show how near to discovery they had come. “She was this close to figuring out you weren’t a pony…and it all would’ve unraveled from there.” Thorax then looked back at Fluttershy. “Then we are at least in Fluttershy’s debt,” he noted calmly. He turned sad. “I’m sorry it’s under such circumstances though. If it helps, had I known Spike planned to ask for your help, I would’ve told him not to. It’s not fair of us to get you mixed up in all of this too.” Fluttershy was starting to tear up again, feeling ashamed she couldn’t provide more support for the two. “I’m just sorry I can’t be of even more help,” she mumbled pitifully, beginning to weep. “This hasn’t been fair for anyone, and I hate that I can’t do more, that I…I just don’t know what to do…I just…don’t…” she trailed off, unable to speak further between her quiet sobbing. Spike and Thorax sat and watched her sadly, both wishing there was more they could do back for the pegasus mare that had managed to assist them even this much. Spike started to rise, opening his mouth to speak, but Thorax gently reached out with one hoof and stopped him, shaking his head. “Let’s give her a moment,” he advised softly, so not to disturb Fluttershy. “Give her some time to try and sort this all out.” When he saw that Spike seemed dissatisfied with that, he nodded his head in the direction of his record player. “How about you go put on a record for me? You remember which record of Doctor Hooves I’m on now, right?” Spike nodded and silently went and put on the record in question, starting it to play without protest. As the recorded episode of the radio drama played, Spike sat back and idly listened, appreciating the distraction it provided. Thorax continued to drift in and out of a dozing state, but he attentively listened to the episode regardless, as was expected of him. Fluttershy fell silent as it played, and spent most of it gazing at the floor, fiddling with her hooves. It was unclear if she was either listening, deep in thought, or alternating through both. Nonetheless, she kept her silence. Most of the way through the first episode on the record, Fly Leaf came upstairs and knocked on the door, calling through the closed door to bid Spike and Thorax a good night as she turned in for the evening. Spike returned the well-wishing by calling back, as did Thorax, though raising his voice so caused it come out raspy. But Fly Leaf was pleased to hear Thorax speak, and stopped to converse with the changeling through the closed door on how he was doing. Thorax simply conveyed that he was improving and that he or Spike would keep her posted. When Fly expressed a desire to slip in to check on him, which would be problematic as he still couldn’t form a disguise as sick as he was, Thorax dissuaded her by stating that he didn’t want to risk Fly catching his illness and that he didn’t really want to stay up and chat anyway, truthfully admitting that he was feeling quite tired. Though Fly expressed doubt about the fact that Thorax was contagious (pointing out that Spike had avoided catching the illness), she agreed Thorax needed to rest and left them be. After she left, Fluttershy, who had naturally been silent throughout the whole exchange as Fly wasn’t to know she was there, spoke up to reaffirm that Thorax’s sickness wasn’t contagious. Thorax reaffirmed that it wasn’t, and admitted he had only told Fly that it was so to keep her from walking in while he was unable to disguise his changeling body. “I know it’s a lie,” Thorax added apologetically, and he did appear troubled by it. “I don’t like doing it, especially after everything Miss Fly has done for us. But…it’s either that or risk being caught.” Fluttershy nodded, understanding. She then fell quiet again, and Thorax and Spike turned their attention back to the playing record, listening as the first episode finished and moved on into the second. She did not speak again until the record finished playing, well after sunset. As Spike rose to remove the record from the turntable, Fluttershy also rose suddenly and went to her saddlebags. Thorax, who had closed his eyes to wearily doze during the final third of the record but was still awake enough to listen, opened an eye to watch the pegasus root through the bags. “Something the matter?” he asked as he watched. “Oh, no,” Fluttershy quickly assured simply and proceeded to pull out four medicine bottles, placing them beside Thorax’s sleeping nest. “Just pulling out all the medicine I’ve been giving Thorax for his illness.” Spike, having put the record away, stepped over, puzzled. “Why?” he asked innocently. Fluttershy didn’t respond until after she had finished. “So all of this should be enough to keep Thorax’s symptoms under control,” the yellow mare instructed aloud to the two, tapping the tops of the bottles with one hoof. “The instructions are on the sides of the bottles, as well as how often they should be taken and for what symptoms. Do not take any of these medicines more frequently than it says on the bottle. Thorax, you’ve already had all of these doses recently enough that you should be good until morning, and then you will probably need to take all of them again. Stop taking them once the symptoms stop reappearing as they wear off. I think if you keep doing that, you should pull out just fine, considering how much improvement you’ve shown just for today.” She proceeded to lift her saddlebags onto her back, and grinned faintly as she patted the edge of the cloths that made up Thorax’s sleeping nest. “Also, once Thorax has recovered adequately, you’ll want to have all of these cleaned, in case any infections linger within them.” She then proceeded to strap up her saddlebags in silence while Spike and Thorax numbly watched, beginning to catch on to what Fluttershy intended to do. “You’re leaving,” Thorax noted aloud, his voice coming out a little gravelly. “And drink plenty of water!” Fluttershy suddenly added as an afterthought, brushing her mane back into position as she straightened, the saddlebags now secure on her back again. “It’ll help clear out the gunk, and keep your voice from sounding so…raspy.” Spike’s brow furrowed, trying to figure out why Fluttershy had decided so suddenly to depart. “Fluttershy…” “You don’t need me staying here, Spike,” Fluttershy interrupted, putting a friendly hoof on the dragon’s shoulder. “You two have got this. Just keep getting Thorax the medicine like I instructed, and he’ll be fine. Besides…” she lowered her gaze knowingly. “…for me to stay is only going to risk you two getting caught more…it’ll be better for me to just go now and not trouble you further.” “You haven’t been any trouble, Fluttershy,” Spike interjected sadly, starting to realize what Fluttershy planned. “If anything, you have been more help than we could have ever expected, and we owe you a great deal for that,” Thorax added. Fluttershy, however, shook her head. “You two don’t owe me anything,” she stressed firmly, and she seemed quite adamant about it. She had clearly made up her mind already. “If anything, I owe you two far more than I can give right now…and I apologize for that, but…I…I realize I just don’t have…have it in me to do it.” Spike lowered his head. “Thank you anyway, Fluttershy,” he said sadly. “For everything…I’m sorry it couldn’t be on better terms.” Fluttershy stepped forward to hug the sad dragon. “I meant what I said, Spike,” she said softly. “We all miss you dearly…and I think you do too. If, somehow, you find a way to ever come back…” “I can do that,” Spike promised seriously. “I just hope such a chance will come.” “I hope someday it does,” Fluttershy said, and pulled away to regard them both again. “You, uh, should know that I’m…I’m not without my misgivings about all of this still…but I’m convinced enough to think that…that you two aren’t going to harm anypony. You’re both being too kind to each other and those around you…if you really meant to do harm…I’d like to think you two wouldn’t be like that still. I’m just not confident other ponies are going to see it the way I do just yet.” She straightened suddenly, putting on a brave face. “But nonetheless, I will not tell anyone I know where you are and how to find you. In fact, as far as anypony is concerned, I know nothing more than I did before I received your letter Spike. In fact, since it hasn’t already come up, I did burn that letter just before I left for Vanhoover, so no one would find it and read what it says, so to keep your secret.” Spike grinned faintly. “You promise?” Fluttershy nodded, and began to mime out a familiar motion. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” she vowed then grinned herself. “You’re still a good friend Spike…I’d hate to do anything to lose that friendship. And you know what Pinkie says. Breaking a promise is the fastest way to lose a friend.” “FOREVER!” Pinkie exclaimed loudly, suddenly jolting upright in her bed, her shout causing a thump followed by a shout of warning to quiet down from Mr. Cake downstairs, before flopping back down onto her mattress and was immediately asleep again, like nothing had happened. Spike’s grin grew at the pegasus’s words. “Bless you, Fluttershy.” “Are you sure you want to leave now?” Thorax inquired, raising his head as Fluttershy finished preparing to go. “It’s getting late and it’s doubtful there’ll be any trains leaving…I’m sure we can find a way for you to spend the night here so you can leave in the morning.” “Thank you, but I should probably leave now while Miss Leaf isn’t going to be watching,” Fluttershy reasoned, turning her attention to Thorax as she stepped towards the window seat. “Besides, since I wasn’t sure how long I was going to need to stay here, if at all, I made it a point to know where the nearest hotel is. I can stay there until the morning train comes tomorrow.” “So that just leaves getting you out of the shop without alerting Fly,” Spike reasoned, and winced to himself. “I could probably get you downstairs just fine, but the front and back doors are going to be locked for the night with those high-security locks of Fly’s, and I never could figure out how to work those things…” “But I do, I can do it,” Thorax grunted, and started to try and heave himself up onto his hooves weakly. “No, no, that’s fine, I can slip out another way,” Fluttershy quickly intervened, and fluttered her yellow wings quickly to remind them that she was a pegasus. She carefully stepped up onto the window seat and pulled open the curtains to open the window. “I can just slip out here and fly down into a nearby street.” “All right then,” Spike said, moving to the window seat himself while Thorax lowered himself back down into his sleeping nest, repositioning himself so he could watch Fluttershy depart. “You travel safely.” He paused as Fluttershy started to timidly step out the open window before speaking again to draw her attention. “And Fluttershy? Seriously…thank you for everything.” Fluttershy nodded, still grinning. It looked like she was satisfied with what she was able to do and seemed confident this was making the right choice for now. “You too Spike. I’m glad to see you are still all right…and in the company of friends.” This statement made Spike’s own grin double in size. “You take care, okay?” She started forward again then stopped again. “Oh, and Spike? Please don’t be so hard on Twilight…she just doesn’t understand yet what she’s been doing…but I still hope you will have the chance to change that…on your own terms.” Spike nodded. “Okay,” he said, even though in the back of his head he had doubts it would happen. Fluttershy fidgeted to herself for a moment. “Well…goodbye then,” she said. “Goodbye,” Spike and Thorax chorused together, Spike waving with his claws. Fluttershy returned the motion, then spread her wings and with jump, vaulted herself into the air. She swooped off into the night sky, sailing over and above the next street over, before drifting back down to the ground to slip behind the line of buildings that divided them from her, and then she was gone from sight. Spike leaned on the window sill, staring out into the night a few moments afterwards, Thorax leaned over so he could see as well, but was focusing most of his attention on Spike, watching the dragon’s reaction, sensing his emotions. “Do you think she’ll keep her promise?” Thorax asked softly. Spike nodded confidently, not doubting it for a second. “She will…just for all the wrong reasons, maybe.” He pulled his eyes off the night sky and glanced at Thorax. “You ever hear the story of what an ostrich does when faced with danger?” Thorax gazed at Spike for a long moment. “She’s just one pony, Spike,” he reminded gently. “There’s only so much we can expect her to do, and she’s already done far more than that.” “Yeah,” Spike sighed, turning back to look out at the night sky. He moved to close the window again. “Let’s just hope she won’t be the last to do so.”